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How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written
Lying is like 95% of what I do. But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer.
I know, I know, it sucks not being me.
But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.
164 pages, Paperback
First published January 17, 2012
313 people are currently reading
1607 people want to read
About the author
Sterling Archer
10 books30 followersSterling Malory Archer (voiced by H. Jon Benjamin), codename: Duchess, is 184 lb, 6'2", 36 years old (computer screen readout in the show's first episode), and is considered the world's most dangerous secret agent. Though he shows proficiency in stereotypical spy skills—weapons, driving, martial arts—his only real interest in the job is the opportunity to enjoy a jet-setting lifestyle full of sex, alcohol, thrills, lacrosse, fast cars and spy toys (in that order). Egotistical and self-serving, Archer generally lacks empathy towards anyone. He was largely reared by his valet Woodhouse, whom he constantly belittles. He is almost always seen with an alcoholic drink and also refuses to wear anything other than "tactical" turtlenecks during operations (he will take the time to change into one rather than immediately disarming a bomb). He claims he was the first to recognize the garment's tactical potential (referring to it as a "tactile-neck") and becomes enraged when his style is copied. He appears to carry the classic James Bond Walther PPK as a personal sidearm, despite being consistently insulted as to the gun's diminutive stature by his co-workers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 465 reviews
April 7, 2012
Secret agent Sterling Archer has written a book about being a spy, but he isn’t very happy about it.
Archer thought he was being asked to write his memoirs, but after a seven martini lunch and a sexual encounter with his editrix*, he learned that his contract was actually for a how-to book. Sterling doesn't like this because it’ll probably make his job harder if he gives away all his trade secrets, and he isn’t even going to get to do a chapter about cobras.
*An editrix is a female editor. Seriously, read a book sometime.
While Archer may be grumpy, it’s good news for those of us who enjoy watching his exploits on the FX television show. Not only do we get the inside scoop of what it takes to be a world class secret agent, Archer also shares his tips for grooming, clothing, dining, sex, and most importantly, his favorite cocktail recipes. Here’s a sample:
“Singapore Sling
Invented in the Long Bar of that timeless jewel of the Orient, the Raffles Hotel. From which I was banned after an unfortunate incident involving two prostitutes, a lemur, a rickshaw (and driver) and several members of the Singapore Police Force’s Gurkha Contingent. And let me just say this about that: if you ever want to get the absolute shit kicked out of you - and want it done in a precise and professional manner - the Gurkhas are THE shitkickers for you.
Anyway, it’s lame the Raffles banned me, so I’m not including their stupid drink.”
The book is filled with pearls of wisdom like this from the world’s greatest secret agent. Who says he’s the world’s greatest secret agent? Archer does. Repeatedly.
There’s plenty of stuff that Archer fans will recognize. (At last we have the recipes to make Green Russians and Eggs Woodhouse!) While it’s got the same style of humor, it doesn’t rely on recycling jokes from the show, and the tone of the book so exactly matches Archer’s manner that I could hear H. Jon Benjamin’s voice in my head while reading. (How is there not an audio version of this?)
My only complaint is that aside from a brief introduction from Archer’s mother Mallory, we don’t hear from of his coworkers. Hopefully, they’ll do another tie-in book written by Pam so we can learn all about being a human resource director as well as an underground street racer and champion fight club participant.
Later, tator!
Archer thought he was being asked to write his memoirs, but after a seven martini lunch and a sexual encounter with his editrix*, he learned that his contract was actually for a how-to book. Sterling doesn't like this because it’ll probably make his job harder if he gives away all his trade secrets, and he isn’t even going to get to do a chapter about cobras.
*An editrix is a female editor. Seriously, read a book sometime.
While Archer may be grumpy, it’s good news for those of us who enjoy watching his exploits on the FX television show. Not only do we get the inside scoop of what it takes to be a world class secret agent, Archer also shares his tips for grooming, clothing, dining, sex, and most importantly, his favorite cocktail recipes. Here’s a sample:
“Singapore Sling
Invented in the Long Bar of that timeless jewel of the Orient, the Raffles Hotel. From which I was banned after an unfortunate incident involving two prostitutes, a lemur, a rickshaw (and driver) and several members of the Singapore Police Force’s Gurkha Contingent. And let me just say this about that: if you ever want to get the absolute shit kicked out of you - and want it done in a precise and professional manner - the Gurkhas are THE shitkickers for you.
Anyway, it’s lame the Raffles banned me, so I’m not including their stupid drink.”
The book is filled with pearls of wisdom like this from the world’s greatest secret agent. Who says he’s the world’s greatest secret agent? Archer does. Repeatedly.
There’s plenty of stuff that Archer fans will recognize. (At last we have the recipes to make Green Russians and Eggs Woodhouse!) While it’s got the same style of humor, it doesn’t rely on recycling jokes from the show, and the tone of the book so exactly matches Archer’s manner that I could hear H. Jon Benjamin’s voice in my head while reading. (How is there not an audio version of this?)
My only complaint is that aside from a brief introduction from Archer’s mother Mallory, we don’t hear from of his coworkers. Hopefully, they’ll do another tie-in book written by Pam so we can learn all about being a human resource director as well as an underground street racer and champion fight club participant.
Later, tator!
September 19, 2016
ARCHER FUN FACT: BOURBON
Contrary to popular belief, bourbon whiskey may be produced anywhere in the United States, and not exclusively in Kentucky. Same thing goes for banging your cousin.
So, and it's totally okay if you don't believe me, I actually do research for books that I'm working on. I needed to learn a little, not much, but a little about spies and spying and survival and guns and such. I decided that I needed to read several books to get the proper info. The main two being Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and Steelwhisper's precious Ultimate SAS Survival. I went to Amazon to grab those but then saw this and the choice was obvious.
I laughed my ass off for the few hours this took to read. Truly funny stuff. I was in a foul mood when I started and happy when I finished. It made me forget all about the argument I had earlier in the day. (The argument I will later deny having, because not denying it would be admitting I was mad, which I was not, because I don't get mad, because that would be immature.)
Contrary to popular belief, bourbon whiskey may be produced anywhere in the United States, and not exclusively in Kentucky. Same thing goes for banging your cousin.
So, and it's totally okay if you don't believe me, I actually do research for books that I'm working on. I needed to learn a little, not much, but a little about spies and spying and survival and guns and such. I decided that I needed to read several books to get the proper info. The main two being Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and Steelwhisper's precious Ultimate SAS Survival. I went to Amazon to grab those but then saw this and the choice was obvious.
I laughed my ass off for the few hours this took to read. Truly funny stuff. I was in a foul mood when I started and happy when I finished. It made me forget all about the argument I had earlier in the day. (The argument I will later deny having, because not denying it would be admitting I was mad, which I was not, because I don't get mad, because that would be immature.)
October 20, 2014
The economy being what it is (according to Malory Archer, probably due to all these immigrants driving around everywhere in their lowriders, listening to raps and shooting all the jobs), I did not immediately purchase this book. However, when I came across it for $2.99 on Amazon I thought hey, like the lives of six pygmies sacrificed to get a Brazilian rosewood desk, this was really a small price to pay.
What does this book have in common with commandeering an airboat, kickin' it with Burt Reynolds, simultaneously breaking two personal records (for breath holding and number of sharks shot in the fact), Eggs Woodhouse and men's lacrosse (Algonquin for bloodsport)? They're freaking AWESOME! Duh.
Even though, as Archer admits
You'll get some great tips on how to be more like the world's greatest secret agent (no, not the British he-who-shall-not-be-named), and some interesting factoids. Exhibit A:
And, since I don't have a HarperCollins editrix breathing down my neck to reach an unreasonable word count of 30,000; that's all I'm gonna say about it.
What does this book have in common with commandeering an airboat, kickin' it with Burt Reynolds, simultaneously breaking two personal records (for breath holding and number of sharks shot in the fact), Eggs Woodhouse and men's lacrosse (Algonquin for bloodsport)? They're freaking AWESOME! Duh.
Even though, as Archer admits
A book can’t teach someone how to be equal parts deadly and sexy! That’s like asking a cobra to write a book about how to be a cobra!
You'll get some great tips on how to be more like the world's greatest secret agent (no, not the British he-who-shall-not-be-named), and some interesting factoids. Exhibit A:
Pounds per square inch needed to break a human collarbone (adult): 7
Pounds per square inch needed to break a human collarbone (child): 11
(That’s as far as I got because I read that statistic and got freaked out that someone actually researched that. And then I started thinking about why it takes more pounds of pressure to break a kid’s collarbone, and all I can figure is it’s because they’re shorter. The collarbones, not the kids. Although I assume the test kids were also pretty short.)
And, since I don't have a HarperCollins editrix breathing down my neck to reach an unreasonable word count of 30,000; that's all I'm gonna say about it.
February 9, 2017
I am a big fan of the animated show Archer so when I saw this book I jumped on it. Is it great literature? No. Is it informative about spy stuff and cocktails? Not really. Is it an intimate personal view of the character? Nope. Is it a hilarious trip through his alcoholic-soaked, overblown ego? Yep! Essential reading for Archer fans :) PHRASING!!!
October 27, 2012
5 Super Spy Stars (Maybe Chinese)
Archer is the man!!! God I really love that show. When I saw this book for sale I knew that I would have to read it.
"This could make my job harder.
And while there are many things to like about being a devastatingly handsome, martini-drinking, jet-setting, model-banging, world’s greatest secret agent, hard work isn’t one of them. If I wanted to work hard, I’d be a farmer. Albeit a devastatingly handsome one. So even though my contract with (the man-hating, unkempt überfeminists at) HarperCollins makes it abundantly clear that I am legally bound—especially now that I’ve spent the advance—to write a how-to book, I am doing so only because said aforementioned contract is apparently iron-fucking-clad.
But whatever. I bloom where I’m planted."
I loved this part of the swords chapter:
"Swords, especially samurai and/or ninja ones, are exceptionally cool. However, their use is of limited practical value to the secret agent, especially given the fact that somebody invented gunpowder about a million years ago. I have not trained in fencing (or vaginal hygiene), so if I am forced to use a sword in combat, I just swing it around like a baseball bat while screaming, at the top of my lungs: “There can be only one!” Which, if done correctly, is surprisingly effective"
Too funny!
This book is less about how to be a super spy and more about how to be Archer the man, and looks count. This is so fitting since that is pretty much the code by which he lives life.
Archer tells us everything you need to know about being a spy, fighting, intelligence gathering, and even torturing.
"And so intelligence gathering is divided into two general categories: human intelligence (or HUMINT) and signals intelligence (or SIGINT).
Signals intelligence gathering relies on a variety of electronic devices: radios, satellites, um, I suppose the telephone would fall under this heading … look, I’ll be honest: I don’t know much about SIGINT. That’s for the lab-coated geeks in ISIS SIGINT Control. Those pathetic little men with slide rules sticking out of their pocket protectors, wearing ties with short-sleeved shirts. I’m not kidding: they actually wear ties with short sleeves. I guess the short sleeves are more practical attire for what they do all day, which I can only assume is masturbate under their desks while looking at hobbit-porn on the internets. The point is, I know about as much about SIGINT as those fist-glazing nerds know about what a clitoris looks like.11 The whole concept—by which I mean signals intelligence, not that mysterious and magical, sometimes mauve, sometimes brown, amazing little pleasure bean known as the clitoris—is incredibly boring to me. Which is why I focus my considerable talents in the area of human intelligence."
He then really delves into the art of the drink, including a large number of recipes. He tells us how to gamble, how to eat out, and how to eat in. He goes into details on women and how to always come out on top with them...Amateurs and professionals are both discussed.
There is a lot more covered here on the life of Sterling Archer, all told with his in your face, I am a man humor that I love so much.
The series should not be missed by .... MEN! If you are lucky like I am with my wife, you may have a lady in your life that appreciates the humor and slapstick that is Archer. If you cannot see the awkward hilarity of Archer finding his mothers activated dildo in a drawer and yet still by need he had to get into that drawer, than this is not for you.
Archer is the man!!! God I really love that show. When I saw this book for sale I knew that I would have to read it.
"This could make my job harder.
And while there are many things to like about being a devastatingly handsome, martini-drinking, jet-setting, model-banging, world’s greatest secret agent, hard work isn’t one of them. If I wanted to work hard, I’d be a farmer. Albeit a devastatingly handsome one. So even though my contract with (the man-hating, unkempt überfeminists at) HarperCollins makes it abundantly clear that I am legally bound—especially now that I’ve spent the advance—to write a how-to book, I am doing so only because said aforementioned contract is apparently iron-fucking-clad.
But whatever. I bloom where I’m planted."
I loved this part of the swords chapter:
"Swords, especially samurai and/or ninja ones, are exceptionally cool. However, their use is of limited practical value to the secret agent, especially given the fact that somebody invented gunpowder about a million years ago. I have not trained in fencing (or vaginal hygiene), so if I am forced to use a sword in combat, I just swing it around like a baseball bat while screaming, at the top of my lungs: “There can be only one!” Which, if done correctly, is surprisingly effective"
Too funny!
This book is less about how to be a super spy and more about how to be Archer the man, and looks count. This is so fitting since that is pretty much the code by which he lives life.
Archer tells us everything you need to know about being a spy, fighting, intelligence gathering, and even torturing.
"And so intelligence gathering is divided into two general categories: human intelligence (or HUMINT) and signals intelligence (or SIGINT).
Signals intelligence gathering relies on a variety of electronic devices: radios, satellites, um, I suppose the telephone would fall under this heading … look, I’ll be honest: I don’t know much about SIGINT. That’s for the lab-coated geeks in ISIS SIGINT Control. Those pathetic little men with slide rules sticking out of their pocket protectors, wearing ties with short-sleeved shirts. I’m not kidding: they actually wear ties with short sleeves. I guess the short sleeves are more practical attire for what they do all day, which I can only assume is masturbate under their desks while looking at hobbit-porn on the internets. The point is, I know about as much about SIGINT as those fist-glazing nerds know about what a clitoris looks like.11 The whole concept—by which I mean signals intelligence, not that mysterious and magical, sometimes mauve, sometimes brown, amazing little pleasure bean known as the clitoris—is incredibly boring to me. Which is why I focus my considerable talents in the area of human intelligence."
He then really delves into the art of the drink, including a large number of recipes. He tells us how to gamble, how to eat out, and how to eat in. He goes into details on women and how to always come out on top with them...Amateurs and professionals are both discussed.
There is a lot more covered here on the life of Sterling Archer, all told with his in your face, I am a man humor that I love so much.
The series should not be missed by .... MEN! If you are lucky like I am with my wife, you may have a lady in your life that appreciates the humor and slapstick that is Archer. If you cannot see the awkward hilarity of Archer finding his mothers activated dildo in a drawer and yet still by need he had to get into that drawer, than this is not for you.
August 31, 2024
RE-READ: Been reading some pretty dark and dismal stuff lately (survivor stories; aboriginal massacres; noir murders), so needed to balance it with something light and stupid. And is there anyone lighter and stupider than Sterling Archer?
I give "Archer" the TV show mad props for trying to stay fresh all these years, doing off-the-wall seasons like "Archer: 1999" (sci-fi spoof); "Archer: Danger Island" (1930's Indiana Jones-type spook); "Archer: Dreamland" (post-war noir spoof); etc. But to be honest, they also started to lose me along the way, as I really missed the original "James Bond spoof" Archer.
Well, that's the Archer you get here, in all his vain, politically incorrect, über-asshole glory, and he is just as funny today as he was eight years ago. Great stuff.
ORIGINAL (June 2012): Best Father's Day gift ever! The only thing that could top this is if the audiobook is narrated by H. Jon Benjamin (which with any luck it will be).
I give "Archer" the TV show mad props for trying to stay fresh all these years, doing off-the-wall seasons like "Archer: 1999" (sci-fi spoof); "Archer: Danger Island" (1930's Indiana Jones-type spook); "Archer: Dreamland" (post-war noir spoof); etc. But to be honest, they also started to lose me along the way, as I really missed the original "James Bond spoof" Archer.
Well, that's the Archer you get here, in all his vain, politically incorrect, über-asshole glory, and he is just as funny today as he was eight years ago. Great stuff.
ORIGINAL (June 2012): Best Father's Day gift ever! The only thing that could top this is if the audiobook is narrated by H. Jon Benjamin (which with any luck it will be).
July 13, 2012
It seems that Castle isn't the only one cashing in on his success by releasing a book. Sterling Archer, spy extraordinaire, write his how-to guide on spywork, sex (free and paid), food and more.
While at times the joke does wear a bit thin for the most part this is a hilarious rendition of how-to guides full of the humour that makes the show so great. It's politically incorrect, disturbing it parts, but surprisingly quite factual. I stopped and looked things up a few times and found them to be true.
The writer/s knew how far to take each joke and move to the next subject before it got old. Like some other reviewers have said an audiobook version read by H. Jon Benjamin would be great, as well as some input from the other characters.
All up a good, funny book I'd recommend to any Archer fans.
While at times the joke does wear a bit thin for the most part this is a hilarious rendition of how-to guides full of the humour that makes the show so great. It's politically incorrect, disturbing it parts, but surprisingly quite factual. I stopped and looked things up a few times and found them to be true.
The writer/s knew how far to take each joke and move to the next subject before it got old. Like some other reviewers have said an audiobook version read by H. Jon Benjamin would be great, as well as some input from the other characters.
All up a good, funny book I'd recommend to any Archer fans.
September 7, 2020
WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE! IF THAT OFFENDS YOU DON’T READ THIS BOOK OR MY REVIEW. ALSO DON’T WATCH THE SHOW THIS BOOK IS A SPIN-OFF OF, THAT HAS STRONG LANGUAGE TOO...
“If people were meant to drive automobiles, John Henry Ford wouldn’t have invented cabs. Or bourbon. Which was probably invented by some other guy. I don’t know, I honestly don’t care, and as my editrix has made abundantly clear, this is a how-to book, not a history book.”
I love Archer... I love reading... a little surprised that this isn’t a 5-star rating.
What’s it about?
Okay so to begin this review since some folks in these reviews seem confused, Sterling Archer is not a real person. He is a fictional character from a TV show called Archer. It is a cartoon action-comedy focused on a team of espionage agents.
This book is an official, FX-licensed (FX is the channel that airs it first in America) book written from the POV of Sterling Archer (who, in case you couldn’t guess, is the main character of the show) where he tells us how to be a better spy, make cocktails, be stylish, dine, have good luck with women and be better at financial stuff.
Also this character is meant to be a complete fucking idiot and asshole that almost everyone around him hates so DO NOT take anything said in it very seriously.
(See, even he said not to trust him)
Pros:
Whoever wrote this book did so very well. I wish I knew this ghost writer’s name just so I could personally say how well they did at making this book sound like it really was what one would expect a book by Sterling Archer to sound like. They definitely put in some work and did an overall great job at that.
This book is quite humorous throughout. I will warn that it is sometimes offensive (though anyone who watches the show would expect that) and the “advice” in it is pretty bad advice but it’s humorous nonetheless.
This book includes little notes at the bottoms of many (hell, probably most) of the pages and they are great! Seriously, don’t skip them thinking they’ll be boring, they are hilarious and add so much greatness to this book. It probably wouldn’t have been half as good without them!
The foreword (written from the POV of Malory Archer (Sterling’s mother)) and afterword are very good.
There’s (much like the show) some well done pop culture references, not just that it’s Archer (Marvel comic fans will likely get a chuckle from a dirty X-Men joke towards the end).
Cons:
Sterling Archer is not as funny without the other characters. Sure, other characters do make quick cameos in illustrations and mentions (and that foreword I mentioned) but without the interaction it’s not quite the same. Still funny as I said but not as great as the show.
The how-to drink section is mostly kinda boring IMO. There’s a few good jokes but it’s mostly just alcoholic recipes which I didn’t care about (mostly because I’m not 21 yet and even when I am I don’t plan on drinking, I mean for fuck’s sake why spend hundreds on a booze addiction when you could spend that on an addiction to fun stuff like books, comics, collectible figures, movies, target shooting, concerts, remembering what the fuck you did yesterday, etc.).
Note:
So this isn’t really a pro or con but you have to watch the show! If you don’t fully understand the context of how much of a jerk and idiot the character Sterling Archer is in the scenarios we see in the show you’re likely just going to think that you’re reading a snarky, sexist, slightly racist guide on how to be a spy by some rich narcissistic asshole that thinks he’s a billion times better than anyone else (which admittedly yes, that is kinda what this book is but it makes sense within the context of Archer). So yeah, unless your book club chose this I don’t see why you would read this without watching the show.
Overall:
So for those who couldn’t tell and/or haven’t been following my reviews for very long, I’m a big fan of Archer. In fact it’s tied with South Park for the title of my favorite show (which reminds me as a note for parents who are unaware, much like South Park this is a NOT FOR KIDS cartoon (seriously I once heard someone say that Archer makes Family Guy look like a wholesome family cartoon (you know... the kind with good old-fashioned values... ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY!! (couldn’t resist))). In fact 2 of my Goodreads shelves are Archer references (“Danger zone” for espionage related books, named after the running jokes in this series about the Kenny Loggins song of the same name and “So boring and forever taking” based on a line from the character Cheryl Tunt (possibly the funniest character in the show (and one of the hottest characters from a western animated TV series! I mean... damn!))
So yeah, I’m pretty much the target audience for this book. Gotta say, I did enjoy it. It is often fairly humorous and the ghost writer(s) did an amazing job at being very Archer-y. On the other hand I might be slightly disappointed since it’s not nearly as great as the show is.
Sterling Archer is a funny character but works best in a story with a set situation (other than trying to fill up the word count Harper Collins gave him (no, this isn’t an insult, it’s something that’s joked about throughout the book)) and interaction with characters.
So if you’re a fan of Archer, you might enjoy this just don’t expect the same level of greatness. It is still fun though, don’t worry.
If you don’t like Archer, this obviously isn’t for you.
If you haven’t seen Archer don’t read this, watch the show first and be sure to start with episode 1 because there is a story. BTW, I highly recommend Archer to everyone, no specifics (well unless you’re a little kid (which Goodreads is intended for ages 13+ so you shouldn’t be on this site if you are a little kid (though I suppose even if you are you are on a book website and even YA often has it’s share of adult themes, swearing and even inappropriate humor... and I mean you’re reading a review for a book intended specifically for adults so I’m guessing you read more than children’s books... ya know what, fuck it, I’m not your supervisor (or parents)! Go watch some Archer! (just don’t tell mentioned parents about this review if they see you watching it and don’t approve of it)))).
4/5
“If people were meant to drive automobiles, John Henry Ford wouldn’t have invented cabs. Or bourbon. Which was probably invented by some other guy. I don’t know, I honestly don’t care, and as my editrix has made abundantly clear, this is a how-to book, not a history book.”
I love Archer... I love reading... a little surprised that this isn’t a 5-star rating.
What’s it about?
Okay so to begin this review since some folks in these reviews seem confused, Sterling Archer is not a real person. He is a fictional character from a TV show called Archer. It is a cartoon action-comedy focused on a team of espionage agents.
This book is an official, FX-licensed (FX is the channel that airs it first in America) book written from the POV of Sterling Archer (who, in case you couldn’t guess, is the main character of the show) where he tells us how to be a better spy, make cocktails, be stylish, dine, have good luck with women and be better at financial stuff.
Also this character is meant to be a complete fucking idiot and asshole that almost everyone around him hates so DO NOT take anything said in it very seriously.
(See, even he said not to trust him)
Pros:
Whoever wrote this book did so very well. I wish I knew this ghost writer’s name just so I could personally say how well they did at making this book sound like it really was what one would expect a book by Sterling Archer to sound like. They definitely put in some work and did an overall great job at that.
This book is quite humorous throughout. I will warn that it is sometimes offensive (though anyone who watches the show would expect that) and the “advice” in it is pretty bad advice but it’s humorous nonetheless.
This book includes little notes at the bottoms of many (hell, probably most) of the pages and they are great! Seriously, don’t skip them thinking they’ll be boring, they are hilarious and add so much greatness to this book. It probably wouldn’t have been half as good without them!
The foreword (written from the POV of Malory Archer (Sterling’s mother)) and afterword are very good.
There’s (much like the show) some well done pop culture references, not just that it’s Archer (Marvel comic fans will likely get a chuckle from a dirty X-Men joke towards the end).
Cons:
Sterling Archer is not as funny without the other characters. Sure, other characters do make quick cameos in illustrations and mentions (and that foreword I mentioned) but without the interaction it’s not quite the same. Still funny as I said but not as great as the show.
The how-to drink section is mostly kinda boring IMO. There’s a few good jokes but it’s mostly just alcoholic recipes which I didn’t care about (mostly because I’m not 21 yet and even when I am I don’t plan on drinking, I mean for fuck’s sake why spend hundreds on a booze addiction when you could spend that on an addiction to fun stuff like books, comics, collectible figures, movies, target shooting, concerts, remembering what the fuck you did yesterday, etc.).
Note:
So this isn’t really a pro or con but you have to watch the show! If you don’t fully understand the context of how much of a jerk and idiot the character Sterling Archer is in the scenarios we see in the show you’re likely just going to think that you’re reading a snarky, sexist, slightly racist guide on how to be a spy by some rich narcissistic asshole that thinks he’s a billion times better than anyone else (which admittedly yes, that is kinda what this book is but it makes sense within the context of Archer). So yeah, unless your book club chose this I don’t see why you would read this without watching the show.
Overall:
So for those who couldn’t tell and/or haven’t been following my reviews for very long, I’m a big fan of Archer. In fact it’s tied with South Park for the title of my favorite show (which reminds me as a note for parents who are unaware, much like South Park this is a NOT FOR KIDS cartoon (seriously I once heard someone say that Archer makes Family Guy look like a wholesome family cartoon (you know... the kind with good old-fashioned values... ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY!! (couldn’t resist))). In fact 2 of my Goodreads shelves are Archer references (“Danger zone” for espionage related books, named after the running jokes in this series about the Kenny Loggins song of the same name and “So boring and forever taking” based on a line from the character Cheryl Tunt (possibly the funniest character in the show (and one of the hottest characters from a western animated TV series! I mean... damn!))
So yeah, I’m pretty much the target audience for this book. Gotta say, I did enjoy it. It is often fairly humorous and the ghost writer(s) did an amazing job at being very Archer-y. On the other hand I might be slightly disappointed since it’s not nearly as great as the show is.
Sterling Archer is a funny character but works best in a story with a set situation (other than trying to fill up the word count Harper Collins gave him (no, this isn’t an insult, it’s something that’s joked about throughout the book)) and interaction with characters.
So if you’re a fan of Archer, you might enjoy this just don’t expect the same level of greatness. It is still fun though, don’t worry.
If you don’t like Archer, this obviously isn’t for you.
If you haven’t seen Archer don’t read this, watch the show first and be sure to start with episode 1 because there is a story. BTW, I highly recommend Archer to everyone, no specifics (well unless you’re a little kid (which Goodreads is intended for ages 13+ so you shouldn’t be on this site if you are a little kid (though I suppose even if you are you are on a book website and even YA often has it’s share of adult themes, swearing and even inappropriate humor... and I mean you’re reading a review for a book intended specifically for adults so I’m guessing you read more than children’s books... ya know what, fuck it, I’m not your supervisor (or parents)! Go watch some Archer! (just don’t tell mentioned parents about this review if they see you watching it and don’t approve of it)))).
4/5
June 28, 2016
So we get the world's greatest secret agent (which he insists on reminding us he is... every 4-5 pages or so...) writing us a fairly shitty list of what it would take to try and fail miserably to be the world's top secret agent (since that position is already filled... by him).
The book started out great, lots of laughs and witty comments. You could actually read it in Archer's own cocky suave voice, talking about his editrix, martinis and cobras.
Once we got into the actual how-to-ing it did slow down a lot, to the point in which I found myself skipping some paragraphs, a thing I very much so hate to do. The witty comments and cockery were still there, but had been somehow diluted and only good enough to, at best, result in a little chuckle.
There is a lot of Bond references (there seems to be some kind of rivalry here), those were neat... And the cocktail recipes... And those Woodhouse Eggs sure look interesting as some other reviewer mentioned.
I did learn the meaning of a couple new sex terms, such as queening, which doesn't really seem something that I'd thoroughly enjoy. But that's just me.
I'd only recommend this one to hardcore fans of the show. And, even though you're fans, don't expect to have your socks blown off.
The book started out great, lots of laughs and witty comments. You could actually read it in Archer's own cocky suave voice, talking about his editrix, martinis and cobras.
Once we got into the actual how-to-ing it did slow down a lot, to the point in which I found myself skipping some paragraphs, a thing I very much so hate to do. The witty comments and cockery were still there, but had been somehow diluted and only good enough to, at best, result in a little chuckle.
There is a lot of Bond references (there seems to be some kind of rivalry here), those were neat... And the cocktail recipes... And those Woodhouse Eggs sure look interesting as some other reviewer mentioned.
I did learn the meaning of a couple new sex terms, such as queening, which doesn't really seem something that I'd thoroughly enjoy. But that's just me.
I'd only recommend this one to hardcore fans of the show. And, even though you're fans, don't expect to have your socks blown off.
February 20, 2012
Disclaimer:
None of what I'm going to say will make the least sort of sense unless you are a fan of the animated TV show 'Archer.'
'Archer' is a raunchy, cynical, utterly tasteless send-up of the spy genre, modern culture, and pretty much everything else. If 'South Park' is funny to you, then you really should give 'Archer' a shot. It's brilliant at what it does, which is skewer things mercilessly.
Archer is the shows titular main character. He's a deadly, accomplished spy in the classic James Bond mold - -but he's also a selfish, boozing frat boy with the morals of an alley cat. He's every spy trope taken to its logical extreme, and the result is hilarious.
This book is written by Archer, in full-on Archer character. His take on the publishing process is worth the price of the book alone. I think that's why I loved it so much.
There are also chapters on hand-to-hand combat (Archer says don't, just shoot the guy, that's what guns are for), airboats, sports cars, casinos, ladies of negotiable affection, and how to shoes. The chapter on casinos nearly choked me to death. Because that's the kind of book this is.
The kind of book that can kill you if it wants.
None of what I'm going to say will make the least sort of sense unless you are a fan of the animated TV show 'Archer.'
'Archer' is a raunchy, cynical, utterly tasteless send-up of the spy genre, modern culture, and pretty much everything else. If 'South Park' is funny to you, then you really should give 'Archer' a shot. It's brilliant at what it does, which is skewer things mercilessly.
Archer is the shows titular main character. He's a deadly, accomplished spy in the classic James Bond mold - -but he's also a selfish, boozing frat boy with the morals of an alley cat. He's every spy trope taken to its logical extreme, and the result is hilarious.
This book is written by Archer, in full-on Archer character. His take on the publishing process is worth the price of the book alone. I think that's why I loved it so much.
There are also chapters on hand-to-hand combat (Archer says don't, just shoot the guy, that's what guns are for), airboats, sports cars, casinos, ladies of negotiable affection, and how to shoes. The chapter on casinos nearly choked me to death. Because that's the kind of book this is.
The kind of book that can kill you if it wants.
August 8, 2014
This book makes me realize I love the TV show, not the character and his 172 page self declaration of how his life is better than anyone elses. This could have easily become fantastic read if it was a retelling of past missions regarding the various subjects referred to in the ToC. But no, It's a terrible cash grab from page one that takes 1/5th of the book to just show various drink recipes and inject all the failed/cut jokes that couldn't make it into the script.
October 12, 2021
Fricken hilarious, if your a fan of the show you will love the book lol
December 15, 2012
Do you love Archer? Of course you do, because if you're reading this, you're my friend, and all my friends have excellent taste in everything. How to Archer is pretty much what it says on the tin: a perfectly in-character guidebook from Archer himself where he talks about how awesome he is. Don't expect useful advice (well, except maybe the cocktails) or more insight into the world of Archer. On the other hand, if you can do a decent H. Jon Benjamin impression in your head, it's fairly hilarious and worth the $2 I paid for my copy.
June 27, 2013
I gave How to Archer 5 stars because it is what I expected: a 175-pg-ish monologue of Sterling Archer, the fictional cartoon spy (greatest in the world according to his own claims), bantering about the spy world, admittedly because he's contractually obligated to do just that.
There's a couple reviews out there citing that it fell flat or that it was too conceited and shallow in parts. To them, I simply ask: what did you expect? It's Archer for Christ's sake. It's not some classic literary piece. And it's supposed to be conceited and shallow and, gasp, not fucking based in any semblance of fact. If the goal of some of the readers/reviewers on this site was to cause me to lose faith in humanity, I'd say they're doing a damn fine job.
Now, if you haven't read it, but you like the show, I'd highly recommend this book. Read it in Archer's voice aloud (if you're that skilled), or in your head, and perhaps even try to visualize yourself in an interview with him. The book will be that much better if you do.
Oh, and hands down, my favorite quote was about the illustration that looked like "a gingerbread centaur shitting out a soccer ball." I laughed at that for a good couple minutes.
Enjoy!
There's a couple reviews out there citing that it fell flat or that it was too conceited and shallow in parts. To them, I simply ask: what did you expect? It's Archer for Christ's sake. It's not some classic literary piece. And it's supposed to be conceited and shallow and, gasp, not fucking based in any semblance of fact. If the goal of some of the readers/reviewers on this site was to cause me to lose faith in humanity, I'd say they're doing a damn fine job.
Now, if you haven't read it, but you like the show, I'd highly recommend this book. Read it in Archer's voice aloud (if you're that skilled), or in your head, and perhaps even try to visualize yourself in an interview with him. The book will be that much better if you do.
Oh, and hands down, my favorite quote was about the illustration that looked like "a gingerbread centaur shitting out a soccer ball." I laughed at that for a good couple minutes.
Enjoy!
May 19, 2012
I could hear Jon H. Benjamin's voice in my head the entire time I was reading this How To guide, reluctantly written by the world's greatest superspy (self-reported), which made reading this book easier than it might have been otherwise. It'll illict the occasional titter, but you're probably not going to be rolling in the aisles. You will be very curious to play bartender and to spend a morning trying your hands at Eggs Woodhouse, however.
No material is reused from the show so it's worth a read as we try to kill time in this interminable span between Archer seasons on FX, but it's not a keeper. Checking it out from the library is probably your best bet.
No material is reused from the show so it's worth a read as we try to kill time in this interminable span between Archer seasons on FX, but it's not a keeper. Checking it out from the library is probably your best bet.
March 27, 2018
Only Sterling can make something
“not only magical, but also even more magical than that.”
“not only magical, but also even more magical than that.”
January 23, 2013
Disclaimer: I think Archer is my favorite show on TV right now. I purchased all of the seasons on iTunes, and watch all of the episodes fairly regularly, so my bias is to rave about this book. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. The book is essentially one long monologue by the self-professed world’s greatest secret agent. In his intro, he tells the reader that he convinced (seduced) an editor from HarperCollins to write a memoir, but finds out that he is instead contractually obligated to write a book about how to be a secret agent. The resulting book is – as you can imagine – a begrudging, half-hearted, snarky how-to guide about all of the important aspects of secret agent life (from Archer’s perspective): weapons, drinking, clothes, and women. It is impossible to read this book in any voice except Archer’s – which is good since this book’s humor is found only in Archer’s personality and not in the jokes being told. Archer’s running jokes about Britain and his constant insults of the reader were funny throughout, but the rest of the book was too shallow. The section on drinks, for example, was simply a recipe guide with an Archer-ism sprinkled in here and there. If you are a hardcore Archer fan, this book is for you. For everyone else, this is a pass. Also, if you plan on reading this book, do NOT buy it as an ebook. Archer uses a ton of footnotes, which in iBooks meant they all appeared at the very back of the book and not on the bottom of each page. I had to read the book using two devices so I could understand the footnotes. Terrible set-up for digital copies.
January 7, 2013
As I have (excitedly) recommitted to trying to read 52 books again this year, I have a lot of great books picked out, and I find it somewhat Ironic this is the first that I read. This wasn't on my list, as I didn't even know it existed until today, but I think it has gotten my 2013 goal off to a hilarious start.
This book is "written" by Archer, the fictional character of the FX television show of the same name. This show is equal parts hilarious, irreverent, graphic, and definitely only suited for an adult audience. It is one of the few shows I currently watch that keeps me laughing every episode. If you love the show, you'll love the book. If you don't love the show, you will most definitely not like this book, and probably find it highly offensive, and we probably would not have a lot to talk about.
It is written as Archer's guide to being the "best spy ever" and includes a forward by his mother, and anecdotes about his life, grooming, drinking, and of course womanizing. It is impossible to read this book without hearing the character (as voiced by H. Jon Benjamin) and it will keep you chuckling. I highly recommend it as a quick read in the presence of other Archer fans, who will humor you reading it out loud to them as you go.
This book is "written" by Archer, the fictional character of the FX television show of the same name. This show is equal parts hilarious, irreverent, graphic, and definitely only suited for an adult audience. It is one of the few shows I currently watch that keeps me laughing every episode. If you love the show, you'll love the book. If you don't love the show, you will most definitely not like this book, and probably find it highly offensive, and we probably would not have a lot to talk about.
It is written as Archer's guide to being the "best spy ever" and includes a forward by his mother, and anecdotes about his life, grooming, drinking, and of course womanizing. It is impossible to read this book without hearing the character (as voiced by H. Jon Benjamin) and it will keep you chuckling. I highly recommend it as a quick read in the presence of other Archer fans, who will humor you reading it out loud to them as you go.
February 20, 2012
Since I am a huge fan of the show, I was pretty excited for the book. And I'm not saying that it wasn't humorous and ridiculous like the show because it was. But what I realized by reading this is that part of the real appeal of Sterling Archer is watching him in action, not listening to his stories. You just can't compare the two. Had I never seen the show, I probably would have given this book 5 stars, but because I can't help but look for similarities between the two, I can only give it 4. I have never been more sure that I love a cartoon.
Oh and on a design sidenote, the white writing on black paper for the chapter pages was horrible. Really hard to read and very unpleasant on the eyes. Need to change that if there is a reprint of the title.
Oh and on a design sidenote, the white writing on black paper for the chapter pages was horrible. Really hard to read and very unpleasant on the eyes. Need to change that if there is a reprint of the title.
January 24, 2012
If you've ever wondered what life is like for James Bond when he's not in a book or movie, watch Archer on FX. Sterling Archer is (according to him) the world's greatest secret agent. He's the handsomest animated character I've ever seen, he's smug, charming, a gigantic asshole, and more fun than he deserves to be. H. John Benjamin provides Archer's voice (the whole cast is fantastic), and this book allows you to hear Benjamin's dulcet tones in every hilarious, dick-ish word.
If you like Archer, you'll love this book.
If you like Archer, you'll love this book.
February 8, 2012
How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written by Sterling Archer is a standalone book designed for someone other than me. I was expecting a comedic James Bond book but what I got was some narcissistic drivel. I'm obviously not the target audience for this book. There's a part in the book where Archer explains that if you're a woman reading the book, than its because you want to bed him. So, yeah, I guess that says it all.
January 9, 2014
All Archer fans should shell out $2.99 to get this Kindle book on Amazon. You will not be disappointed. It's short, but hilarious, and written pitch-perfectly in Jon Benjamin's voice, which you can't help but hear in your head as you read. Don't skip the footnotes - they're the funniest part. My one complaint is the lack of inside jokes and references to the show and characters. (No mention of Lana, Cyril, Cheryl/Carol, or Ray? Seriously?)
April 4, 2014
If you enjoy the TV series, Archer, you'll love this book. It's jammed back of Archer humor. I laughed out loud several times.
Two reasons I didn't give this book 5 stars:
1) The show is funnier because of the other characters. Sometimes Archer himself can be too much... Archer.
2) No section on Cobras.
Two reasons I didn't give this book 5 stars:
1) The show is funnier because of the other characters. Sometimes Archer himself can be too much... Archer.
2) No section on Cobras.
April 14, 2012
Don't read this book unless u are a fan of the television show. And if you're not a fan of this show then there is literally or figuratively no hope for you at all.
August 11, 2014
The highlight of this book is reading it with Archer's voice.
September 12, 2014
I found How to Archer in Amazon's Kindle library for something like $3.99 and, since I'm a fan of FX's series Archer, I decided to give it a read. I was NOT disappointed. It is impossible to read this book without hearing the buttery sweet and youthfully naive TV voice of Sterling Archer (as voiced by the delightful Jon Benjamin) as you whiz joyously through it's (albeit short) 172 pages. One of the most deliciously wicked aspects of FX's TV series Archer (at least in the stiflingly PC climate of 21st century America) is its unapologetically and, strangely prideful non-politcally-correct dialog. Sure, you may wince at some of the racist, sexist and often horribly insulting punch lines, but they end up being so over-the-top-satirically-funny, that you can't help but find Archer to be bizarrely charming in a weird mildly retarded sort of way (no offense to the mentally handicapped was intended by that remark - I simply didn't know a better way to describe Sterling Archer's character). You'll find a few laughs in this book. I guarantee it.
The premise of How to Archer is, while not all that original in the satirical entertainment-tie-in genre, actually done really well. The writing is on par with the television show and the attitude of the book is deliciously insulting to the reader in a playful way while, at the same time, subtly allowing the reader to feel like they are part of this long drawn out inside joke. The chapters are all easily digestible in brief sittings and are broken up into sections covering everything a world class secret agent would need to know to expertly conduct highly classified intelligence operations in dangerously exotic locales. You know, stuff like how to properly mix a Manhattan or a Martini (a Martini is made with gin - NOT vodka - unless y ou have a vagina - - - I'm looking at you 007) and under what cocktail circumstances one should opt for an Old Fashioned glass, a Highball Tumbler or a Collins glass. Or how to mentally prepare yourself for the terrifying prospect of capture and torture at the hands of a monocled, van dyke bearded enemy agent. Or how to select the proper firearm for a given mission's operational parameters. Or even how to defend one's self with unarmed combat. Don't get me wrong, there is no useful information in this book. Well . . . except maybe for the cocktail recipes. But even those are ridiculously satirized by the author and are intended more for entertainment purposes than for actual, practical manufacture and consumption.
The writing is constantly witty and done in an easily approachable style which can be accessed by most any reading level. And since the book is written as if by Sterling Archer, the reader is bedazzled by Archer's ludicrous knowledge of some of the more archaic aspects of the English language (and not just English). For instance, you will be berated by the author in the footnotes (which I highly recommend you NOT to skip) if you happen to pronounce maraschino incorrectly - which I do - because, honestly, who says "mara-SKEE-no" anyway? Italians. Right. You will also learn that the "correct" pronunciation of the term "valet" - a gentleman's gentleman - rhymes with "mallet". A "valet" (rhyming with ballet) is "the sullen guy who parks your car." I mean, c'mon! What's not to love about this ridiculous book. One caveat: if you're new to the character of Sterling Archer, you should probably be aware that he has a tendency to get a little vulgar in his dialog. Well - a lot vulgar, I guess. So if you're easily offended, avoid this book - and the TV show, for that matter - at all costs.
Aside from being a wee bit too short, I really don't have many complaints about this book. And, in fact, if the book were longer it may have gotten a bit stale. This book seemed to know just how long it could string its audience on before they began to get a little fidgety in their seats. The price was right for the Kindle version. In fact, I probably would have been willing to pay a little bit more than I did - but only after having read it - so I guess the price was right on the money to induce me to purchase - well played Harper Collins, well played indeed. And another thing: How to Archer never took itself too seriously (or at all seriously, actually) and was entertaining, informative (though not necessarily instructive) and bitingly funny throughout. The book never broke character and even kept up the facade during the brief but delightful moments where the author spoke directly to the reader personally. What can I say? I was pleasantly delighted by this book while going into it expecting it to be dumb. It wasn't dumb. Well . . . it was a little dumb. But in a charming and disarming way. I had more than a few chuckles, a couple of laugh out loud moments and a figurative (not literal) TON of one liners to share with my wife and friends. Easily 4 stars. A goofy and witty satirical look at the American secret agent genre through the eyes of "the world's greatest secret agent."
The premise of How to Archer is, while not all that original in the satirical entertainment-tie-in genre, actually done really well. The writing is on par with the television show and the attitude of the book is deliciously insulting to the reader in a playful way while, at the same time, subtly allowing the reader to feel like they are part of this long drawn out inside joke. The chapters are all easily digestible in brief sittings and are broken up into sections covering everything a world class secret agent would need to know to expertly conduct highly classified intelligence operations in dangerously exotic locales. You know, stuff like how to properly mix a Manhattan or a Martini (a Martini is made with gin - NOT vodka - unless y ou have a vagina - - - I'm looking at you 007) and under what cocktail circumstances one should opt for an Old Fashioned glass, a Highball Tumbler or a Collins glass. Or how to mentally prepare yourself for the terrifying prospect of capture and torture at the hands of a monocled, van dyke bearded enemy agent. Or how to select the proper firearm for a given mission's operational parameters. Or even how to defend one's self with unarmed combat. Don't get me wrong, there is no useful information in this book. Well . . . except maybe for the cocktail recipes. But even those are ridiculously satirized by the author and are intended more for entertainment purposes than for actual, practical manufacture and consumption.
The writing is constantly witty and done in an easily approachable style which can be accessed by most any reading level. And since the book is written as if by Sterling Archer, the reader is bedazzled by Archer's ludicrous knowledge of some of the more archaic aspects of the English language (and not just English). For instance, you will be berated by the author in the footnotes (which I highly recommend you NOT to skip) if you happen to pronounce maraschino incorrectly - which I do - because, honestly, who says "mara-SKEE-no" anyway? Italians. Right. You will also learn that the "correct" pronunciation of the term "valet" - a gentleman's gentleman - rhymes with "mallet". A "valet" (rhyming with ballet) is "the sullen guy who parks your car." I mean, c'mon! What's not to love about this ridiculous book. One caveat: if you're new to the character of Sterling Archer, you should probably be aware that he has a tendency to get a little vulgar in his dialog. Well - a lot vulgar, I guess. So if you're easily offended, avoid this book - and the TV show, for that matter - at all costs.
Aside from being a wee bit too short, I really don't have many complaints about this book. And, in fact, if the book were longer it may have gotten a bit stale. This book seemed to know just how long it could string its audience on before they began to get a little fidgety in their seats. The price was right for the Kindle version. In fact, I probably would have been willing to pay a little bit more than I did - but only after having read it - so I guess the price was right on the money to induce me to purchase - well played Harper Collins, well played indeed. And another thing: How to Archer never took itself too seriously (or at all seriously, actually) and was entertaining, informative (though not necessarily instructive) and bitingly funny throughout. The book never broke character and even kept up the facade during the brief but delightful moments where the author spoke directly to the reader personally. What can I say? I was pleasantly delighted by this book while going into it expecting it to be dumb. It wasn't dumb. Well . . . it was a little dumb. But in a charming and disarming way. I had more than a few chuckles, a couple of laugh out loud moments and a figurative (not literal) TON of one liners to share with my wife and friends. Easily 4 stars. A goofy and witty satirical look at the American secret agent genre through the eyes of "the world's greatest secret agent."
January 26, 2015
I enjoyed this book from start to finish. I see a lot of negative reviews being placed, and I can't help but disagree. I think this book is pretty much the embodiment of any Archer episode.
"I try not to rely on bribery too heavily, for two reasons: one, it’s pretty boring, Two, ISIS has this whole big voucher process where you have to sign out the money, which they then count—like every single dollar—on Mother’s desk, and the whole time she’s just smirking at you with that smirky little smirk on her smirkly smirking face."
For those who have not seen the television series, I will try to explain as best I can. It's an animated spy comedy about the world's greatest spy, Sterling Archer. He is the top agent at ISIS, which is a spy agency run by Mallory Archer (his mother). The majority of the show is various spy shenanigans, sexual jokes and just plain ridiculousness. It is not meant to be taken seriously. In a way, it reminds me a lot of Burn Notice, if Micheal Westen were to mess up more and have sex with every hot woman he were to meet.
The overall tone of this book is light, but without understanding the character, you might not necessarily understand how it's meant to be seen. I imagined his voice while reading this book and I could pretty much rely on knowing his feelings on pretty much every twist and turn.
"I try not to rely on bribery too heavily, for two reasons: one, it’s pretty boring, Two, ISIS has this whole big voucher process where you have to sign out the money, which they then count—like every single dollar—on Mother’s desk, and the whole time she’s just smirking at you with that smirky little smirk on her smirkly smirking face."
My favourite chapter so far (I'm writing this as I'm reading it) is "Unarmed Combat" where he goes on to explain what (he thinks) each type of combat is. More to the fact, we find out that he more or less didn't train in anything.
"GATKA -- A Sikh martial art which uses swords, lances, javelins, bows and arrows, and something called a bagh nakh, which is what I imagine would happen if Freddy Krueger and some brass knuckles had a baby. Did not train in this discipline. Because I’ll just say it: I was kinda scared."
I think the thing I find most amusing is the facts. Some are just completely ridiculous. On the other hand, some are more or less true, even if they are a little bit manipulated by his understanding.
I found it to be quite funny. It contained jokes including jokes about the U.S. Postal Service, Highlander ("There can only be one!"), prostitutes and his poor manservent Woodhouse.
It characterised the series quite well and did indeed capture the humour presented in each episode. I read it in only a few hours. It was 197 pages, 30,000 words (as he considers unfortunate). I think it was quite well done and deserving of 4 stars.
"I try not to rely on bribery too heavily, for two reasons: one, it’s pretty boring, Two, ISIS has this whole big voucher process where you have to sign out the money, which they then count—like every single dollar—on Mother’s desk, and the whole time she’s just smirking at you with that smirky little smirk on her smirkly smirking face."
For those who have not seen the television series, I will try to explain as best I can. It's an animated spy comedy about the world's greatest spy, Sterling Archer. He is the top agent at ISIS, which is a spy agency run by Mallory Archer (his mother). The majority of the show is various spy shenanigans, sexual jokes and just plain ridiculousness. It is not meant to be taken seriously. In a way, it reminds me a lot of Burn Notice, if Micheal Westen were to mess up more and have sex with every hot woman he were to meet.
The overall tone of this book is light, but without understanding the character, you might not necessarily understand how it's meant to be seen. I imagined his voice while reading this book and I could pretty much rely on knowing his feelings on pretty much every twist and turn.
"I try not to rely on bribery too heavily, for two reasons: one, it’s pretty boring, Two, ISIS has this whole big voucher process where you have to sign out the money, which they then count—like every single dollar—on Mother’s desk, and the whole time she’s just smirking at you with that smirky little smirk on her smirkly smirking face."
My favourite chapter so far (I'm writing this as I'm reading it) is "Unarmed Combat" where he goes on to explain what (he thinks) each type of combat is. More to the fact, we find out that he more or less didn't train in anything.
"GATKA -- A Sikh martial art which uses swords, lances, javelins, bows and arrows, and something called a bagh nakh, which is what I imagine would happen if Freddy Krueger and some brass knuckles had a baby. Did not train in this discipline. Because I’ll just say it: I was kinda scared."
I think the thing I find most amusing is the facts. Some are just completely ridiculous. On the other hand, some are more or less true, even if they are a little bit manipulated by his understanding.
I found it to be quite funny. It contained jokes including jokes about the U.S. Postal Service, Highlander ("There can only be one!"), prostitutes and his poor manservent Woodhouse.
It characterised the series quite well and did indeed capture the humour presented in each episode. I read it in only a few hours. It was 197 pages, 30,000 words (as he considers unfortunate). I think it was quite well done and deserving of 4 stars.
January 8, 2013
If you're looking for classic literature, this is not the book for you. On the other hand, if you're looking for something incredibly funny, you might enjoy this book. "Archer" is a television series on FX that follows the humorous adventures of a fictional spy agency, ISIS. The main character on the show is Sterling Archer, who is the self-proclaimed "world's greatest secret agent." This books is Archer's guide to being a spy.
If you're a fan of the show, you will enjoy this book more than if you're not. I have loved the show since it began airing, which made the book that much funnier for me. I could hear Sterling Archer's voice (done by the amazing H. Jon Benjamin) on each page that I read. In addition, his snarky comments about his co-workers (like Pam) were that much more entertaining because I know those characters.
Certainly, this book is meant to be funny. If you're really looking for information on how to become a spy, don't look here. Most of the topics presented in the book are done for a gag; they're not really informational. (Although, there is a great section on mixing cocktails, and the recipes seem legitimate. I might have to try them. Also, I actually learned something about roulette and the correct pronunciation of "maraschino." Who would have thought!) Unfortunately, there are times in the book when the gags don't seem to be all that great, and the book drags. For example, I was not crazy about the "How to Style" section. It was dull.
I should also give you a fair warning. There are over 100 footnotes in this book. If you're reading the paperback version of the book, you will have no problem; however, I read the electronic version of the book, and footnotes do not render correctly on all devices. The footnotes are (mostly) hilarious, so I didn't want to skip them. Unfortunately, my iPad would not allow me to easily jump back and forth between the text and the footnotes. In the end, I had to read the book on my phone so that I could more easily navigate the footnotes.
Fans of the show will love this book. If you've never seen the show, give it a chance. Then, give the book a chance. If you're not a fan of the show, I doubt you'll enjoy the book.
If you're a fan of the show, you will enjoy this book more than if you're not. I have loved the show since it began airing, which made the book that much funnier for me. I could hear Sterling Archer's voice (done by the amazing H. Jon Benjamin) on each page that I read. In addition, his snarky comments about his co-workers (like Pam) were that much more entertaining because I know those characters.
Certainly, this book is meant to be funny. If you're really looking for information on how to become a spy, don't look here. Most of the topics presented in the book are done for a gag; they're not really informational. (Although, there is a great section on mixing cocktails, and the recipes seem legitimate. I might have to try them. Also, I actually learned something about roulette and the correct pronunciation of "maraschino." Who would have thought!) Unfortunately, there are times in the book when the gags don't seem to be all that great, and the book drags. For example, I was not crazy about the "How to Style" section. It was dull.
I should also give you a fair warning. There are over 100 footnotes in this book. If you're reading the paperback version of the book, you will have no problem; however, I read the electronic version of the book, and footnotes do not render correctly on all devices. The footnotes are (mostly) hilarious, so I didn't want to skip them. Unfortunately, my iPad would not allow me to easily jump back and forth between the text and the footnotes. In the end, I had to read the book on my phone so that I could more easily navigate the footnotes.
Fans of the show will love this book. If you've never seen the show, give it a chance. Then, give the book a chance. If you're not a fan of the show, I doubt you'll enjoy the book.
June 7, 2012
"Danger Zoooone." Archer is simple one of the best shows on television. I also want to point out I only found out about Archer because of my love for the Geektress podcast.
The problem with a lot of tie in books that are suppose to be in the voice of one of the characters is they just don't in any remind you of said character. This book is pure Archer. All adrenaline, bullshit, and surprising intelligence.
One of my favorite things about this book is how it never feels like a book that is written by someone who wants to be writing this book but someone who is contractually obligated to. It's part of the books story and really is used well.
I don't know if someone or a group of someones from the show wrote this book but it sure does seem like that.
If you normally don't buy tie in books, and I understand that, but you love Archer you need to read this.
If you read this book, one warning, you will need to call Kenny Loggins..... Go ahead, say it.....I'll wait...
And the next Archer book should be a Biography of the life of Pam. I'd so eat that shit up. Read the book, not talking about P.... Ok, I do find Pam hot. Damn.... *walks away after knowing that shame will follow him forever into the world*
The problem with a lot of tie in books that are suppose to be in the voice of one of the characters is they just don't in any remind you of said character. This book is pure Archer. All adrenaline, bullshit, and surprising intelligence.
One of my favorite things about this book is how it never feels like a book that is written by someone who wants to be writing this book but someone who is contractually obligated to. It's part of the books story and really is used well.
I don't know if someone or a group of someones from the show wrote this book but it sure does seem like that.
If you normally don't buy tie in books, and I understand that, but you love Archer you need to read this.
If you read this book, one warning, you will need to call Kenny Loggins..... Go ahead, say it.....I'll wait...
And the next Archer book should be a Biography of the life of Pam. I'd so eat that shit up. Read the book, not talking about P.... Ok, I do find Pam hot. Damn.... *walks away after knowing that shame will follow him forever into the world*
March 14, 2015
If you don't learn anything about me in your life ever, at least take away this one thing: Archer is the best Goddamn show on television in my opinion. Aside from three of my other favorites (Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Outlander), Archer is a MUST WATCH show. So reviewing the 'How to' book for me was only natural... and I'll probably never do another review like this EVER again on this blog, so enjoy it now.
This how to book is RIDICULOUSLY Archer. You can't help but read it in H. Jon Benjamin's voice with every step of the way (except for the beginning when it's Malory and in that case it's Jessica Walter in your head) and it only makes it THAT much more enjoyable. You'll find yourself laughing the entire step of the way as Archer explains his fabulous lifestyle as 'the world's greatest secret agent' and all of the perks that come with it.
To keep this review short and sweet: If you love the show, you will ADORE the book. And if you haven't read it yet... well, shame on you.
Should there be another one? (a la Lana) Yuuuuuuup!
This how to book is RIDICULOUSLY Archer. You can't help but read it in H. Jon Benjamin's voice with every step of the way (except for the beginning when it's Malory and in that case it's Jessica Walter in your head) and it only makes it THAT much more enjoyable. You'll find yourself laughing the entire step of the way as Archer explains his fabulous lifestyle as 'the world's greatest secret agent' and all of the perks that come with it.
To keep this review short and sweet: If you love the show, you will ADORE the book. And if you haven't read it yet... well, shame on you.
Should there be another one? (a la Lana) Yuuuuuuup!
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