What You Feel You Can Heal

by John Gray

This guide discusses the idea of finding feelings that have been lost, and regaining the respect and love for yourself that is a necessary pre-requisite to giving and receiving love from others, in sexual and other relationships.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Relationships, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Marriage, Love

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.

John Gray is an American relationship counselor, lecturer, and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long-term best seller and formed the central theme of his subsequent books and career activities. His books have sold millions of copies.

Reviews

[Noor alabras · Rating 4 out of 5]

من الكتب الرائعة بحق ...استطعت من خلاله معالجة مشاعري المكبوتة والتي كانت تسبب لي الكثير من المتاعب بوسائل وطرق بسيطة
كتاب يستحق القراءة والإهداء ايضا

[Aya M. Eldighady · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very deep insight into human emotions we all experience presented in simple, easy to read and follow way. It help very much to understand ourselves better in many blind spots we have, and it also help to learn easy and effective techniques to heal our suppressed emotions and deal better with the current ones.

I highly recommend it for everybody not partners only.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a classic couples writer. Easily one of the best book on relationships and how to work through emotions effectively. I recommend any work by him.

[Khadijeh Mazloum · Rating 3 out of 5]

من الجيد قراءة كتاب واحد بالسنه عن التنمية البشرية لا باس ، الكتاب عن حاجة الانسان للحب فكرة جميلة لكن المعضلة تبقى في تطبيق استرتيجيات الحب بحسب فكرة الكاتب . صاحب كتاب "الرجال من المريخ والنساء من الزهرة "المعروف

من الكتاب ؛لماذا تستاءعندما لا تلقى التقدير من الاخرين؟
ج_لانك تشعر انك تستحق التقدير
س_لماذا ترتدي ملابس جديدة؟
ج_لانك تود ان تكسب ود الناس
س_لماذا تود ان تكسب ود الناس؟
ج_لانك تشعر ان ذلك من حقك.
**انك في قرارة نفسك تسعى لتقدير وحب الاخرين لانك تشعر انه من حقك ،ولكن ربما انك كاغلب الناس فقدت الاتصال بالشعور بحب الذات الذي كنت تتمتع به في الصغر
####
عندما تحب نفسك بحضور الاخرين ستتمكن من التعبير عن مواهبك الدفينه دون خوف او تقييد ،وكلما اعلنت عن نفسك اصبح من السهل على الاخرين تقدير شخصك الحقيقي لا الصورة التي تنقلها لهم ولا القناع الذي ترتديه.اما عندما لا تحب ذاتك وتخفي شخصيتك الحقيقية تدور الدائرة في الاتجاه المعاكس.
)ان الذين يكرهون العالم يكرهون انفسهم في الواقع ان مانستنكره في الاخرين نكون حقيقة نستنكر جزء من شخصيتنا
وهذه بعض نصائحه
1لا باس من تقدير ذاتك
2لا باس في ان يرغب المرء بشيء لنفسه
3لا باس من التصرف على سجيتك
4ويبقى المفتاح الاساس التصريح بالحقيقة كاملة
لا ن اخفائها في العلاقات يشبه حرمان نبته من الماء ونابض بالحياة في وقت ما وينتهي بك الامر الى دفن هذا الشعور الحقيقي تحت اكوام مكبوته وتظهر بمشاعر سلبية ،خوف ،شعور بالذنب،الم،غضب
###
اخيرا لما لا تمنح نفسك فرصة الكتابه الى الشريك تصوره يجلس امامك وعبر عن مشاعرك
ابدا بالتعبير عن الغضب،ثم حزنك ،ثم خوفك،ثم عن اسفك وندمك
2بعد ان تنتهي عن التعبير عن الشعور الاول توقف ولاحظ الشعور الثاني وهو يطفو على السطح وعبر عنه بالكتابه
وهكذا الى اقصى درجات التعبير والتنفيس عن المشاعر .
انتهى

[Reem Saud · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Best book for relationships

[Omar · Rating 4 out of 5]

اسف بس ما فتح معاي الكتاب كيف انزله

[J Crossley · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this book, John Gray explains how relationships can be made better with the opposite sex by knowing the communication styles of the opposite sex. Often we fight because we assume the other person thinks like us, and when we see actions that don't match what WE would do, we get upset.

The other person isn't necessarily doing something that is intended to make you angry. Sometimes it is something that seems completely normal to that person. Knowing the tendencies of thinking for the opposite sex helps you to create more understanding in your relationships.

[Marissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational eye-opener !! Loved every bit about it, most parts of this book I identified myself in it and discovered ways I could improve on or loved applied to me and commended myself for my own self-worth. Amazing writer and Dr :):)

[Ola · Rating 4 out of 5]

يوما ما سأهدى ابنى هذا الكتاب : )
بالرغم من عدم تفضيلى لهذه النوعية من الكتب واعتبرها غير ذات نفع الا ان هذا الكتاب بالفعل يغير نظرة المرء منا لنفسه
لا باس من الشعور بالغضب
الحب لا يعنى ان تكون لطيفا طوال الوقت
اسلوب محاكاة مشاعر الاخر تخفف من مشاعركما السلبية معا

[Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

The leading content in this book was somewhat enlightening but nothing special. However, what made this book worthy of four stars is the activiies in the back. I thought they were helpful and well constructed from a psychological point of view. Although the activities in the back might seem awkward at first, they are a great way of releasing pent up emotion,understanding one another, and bonding. They can also be applied to a variety of relationships including spouse, parental, and even workplace.

[SHAYMA · Rating 4 out of 5]

أعجبني الكتاب كثيرًا إذ يُبيّن أن حياتنا مليئه بالمشاعر السلبية كالغضب والألم والحرمان وتراكم هذه المشاعر السلبية المكبوتة من الماضي هي عثرة في طريق حبك لذاتك وحبك للآخرين.
يهدف هذا الكتاب إلى تحسين التواصل وزيادة تقدير الذات وحبها و تحويل المشاعر السلبية إلى مشاعر إيجابية؛ عن طريق السيطرة على إنفعالاتك و ردود أفعالك.

[Justina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The main message of the book is on how to share your feelings and not repress them.

[Bothaynah Mohammed · Rating 4 out of 5]

اخر ١٢ صفحة هي الزبدة .. ورائعه
بقية الكتاب ممل جدا جدا وغير مفيد بالنسبة لي

[Ghada Ajour · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderfully illustrated book, that takes you into a deeper journey of self and relational knowledge, it offers useful tools that one can apply to enrich relationships, the book tackles things in a brief manner , and it focuses on male/female relationships

[Fareda Ashour · Rating 3 out of 5]

كتاب لطيف
به رسومات كاريكتورية تشرح لحظات معينة نمر بها
الكاتب يدخل في عمق المواقف
لم أشعر بفائدة كبيرة منه
لكنه ليس سيئا
واحتوى على بعض الأمور الجديدة بالنسبة لي
فلم أشعر بالتكرار المعتاد في كتب التنمية

[Jawharah al_sahli · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب قييييم جداً يحوي تقنيات جديدة أنصح بقراءته

[Marthad · Rating 5 out of 5]

من أروع ما قد تقرأون!

[إيمان · Rating 3 out of 5]

ما هو نوع القناع الذي ترتديه وتخفي وراءه من تكون؟
تقنية الغضب، وخطاب الحب، هذه الأمور الثلاث هي أكثر الأشياء التي بقيت في ذهني بعد قراءته.
ربما يصلح هذا الكتاب للمتزوجين أكثر من العزاب ..!

[جَنان بنت عبدالرحمن السحيباني · Rating 4 out of 5]

جميل ومفيد، ولكني شعرت ببعض الحلقات المفقودة ..

[Fahima Karim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!!! would definitely recommend this book for all those struggling in relationships. I learned a lot of techniques in dealing with my 9 year boy. And it works!

[Mona Al · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book and amazing author!
I loved the heart techniques and I applied them in my life.
I loved the sequence of feelings and how we can be blissed by love and enjoy this incredible feeling ❤️

[Shimaa El-Arabie · Rating 4 out of 5]

expressing negative feelings rise in any relations is not a sign of weakness but a sign of your strength as you are committed to melt any negative feelings hinder feeling love all the time

[K Grant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous! I read this one as quickly as a fun fiction book. The cartoons on nearly every page was probably a big help. ;) And this took things to the heart and gave great tips to mend relationships.

[F_alk33 · Rating 3 out of 5]

كتاب يعلمك كيف تعبر عن ذاتك ..

[Neha · Rating 3 out of 5]

gives a set of techniques to reach the hidden layers of love.. can't comment unless I try them out.

[Albara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very nice. Practical and would help many people (maybe not all).

[Somaiya]

الكتاب به نقاط مفيدة جدا. انتفعت بها و اظن انها فعلا ستكون مهمه لمن يكترث بإثراء علاقاته و فهم ذاته و الآخرين و تزكية نفسه و عدم تدسيتها

[Demi Giz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I said it last year and I will say it this year as well! I plan to read a book by John Gray each year.
A powerful lesson that in order to cure and heal your feelings you must feel them and experience them so that they can surface and pass from you. In a world that historically has dismissed the importance of feelings and emotions, Gray points out how they are messengers meant to tell us something and will continue to return until the message is delivered and received.

If you suppress your feelings, they will eventually mutate into the 4 Rs: resistance, resentment, rejection, and repression. These unresolved feelings will store in the mind and body which many people mismanage with addictions, overeating, and overworking. Eventually the long-term consequence of carrying the four Rs with you throughout life can manifest as disease or depression from lack of resolution.

Gray teaches that our emotions resemble an iceberg and in order to get to the root (love) we must travel downward going deeper until we can let go of the negative emotions and replace them with love.

Remember, anger is not the antithesis of love-apathy is. If there was no love, then there wouldn’t be any anger. Even though Gray’s tactics and insights are to be applied in a romantic setting, I do feel like the concept is applicable to other arenas of life. Imagine how much of a higher functioning society we would be if we were taught these things earlier in life so they wouldn’t be mismanaged in adulthood.

Only feedback is there was some outdated content (like using tape cassettes and recorders) where the language needs to be updated to 2023. Until next time! Happy reading all!

[Aiman Sabir · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brilliant, fantastic addition to my favorites and a wonderful read to reread and refer to sometime later.

This book is perhaps one great rational guide that will help people learn how to develop better and harmonious relationships with fellow humans and will help them in transforming their emotional tensions into optimistic attitudes.

I hope the techniques shared in this book will prove really useful for its readers in the long run, in building fulfilling, balanced and lasting relationships.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read it in one sitting!