This was just...incredible.
The novel follows a twelve-year-old girl named Riley Logan who is being admitted into an inpatient treatment centre for anorexia nervosa. The story details the first two months of recovery, depicting her resistance, anger, fear, the painful physical symptoms (gosh, those stomachaches you get in the refeeding process are killers) and the rollercoaster of emotions she goes on. The entire time, I was sobbing and overwhelmed with empathy as I understood everything she was going through, her thoughts far too familiar. I wanted nothing more than to embrace her in the biggest hug and tell her that every time she questions if it’s worth it and if giving up her underweight body is okay if she gets her life back in return and I just wanted to scream “YES. YES, IT IS SO WORTH IT.” Watching her fight against her disordered brain and having the internalised struggle of desiring a life beyond this but not sure how to beat this cruel illness was so relatable and authentic, words fail to describe how much this book means to me.
Riley herself was a spectacular character. She was so complex and her emotions and thoughts felt so real to me. She loves art and track and her friends and she hates Talia and is jealous of her sister and she feels things so intensely that I felt them too. She was a truly beautiful girl. I enjoyed how she also enjoys pop culture which means the story felt more relatable to the readers.
I appreciated that this novel is middle-grade and our protagonist is younger as most eating disorder fiction is aimed at an older audience, although statistics suggest kids are getting sicker at a younger age. Children aren’t educated on this, despite them being vulnerable so I adore the fact that this literature is available to them.
Another thing I want to highlight is we see a case of bulimia in Riley's treatment centre, which I was grateful for. When the term “eating disorder” is said, most people immediately think anorexia, ignoring other types so the diversity is brilliant. However, seeing a case of BED, ARFID or EDNOS would have been beneficial to prevent the reader from feeling like they can only be poorly if they fit into that strict box.
The novel takes place in a treatment centre, which was great but my problem is that it’s not the reality. Being admitted into an inpatient facility is actually not as common as the media and literature make it out to be, in fact, in the U.K., only 0.8% of sufferers are admitted to hospital, meaning over 99% of us aren’t. Therefore, exacerbating the stereotype that all people with eating disorders go to hospital, which is harmful and can perpetuate the idea that someone is not “sick enough” or valid for not receiving this particular form of treatment. Setting the book elsewhere and having Riley simply be an outpatient and endeavouring to recover in the real world may have been more helpful for the reader.
However, that being said, this book was otherwise fantastic and definitely one of my new favourites. It carries so many amazing messages and Riley is an inspiration to us all. The author handled all of the subplots brilliantly and it honestly felt like she'd peeked inside my brain and vocalised all of the thoughts I’ve previously failed to communicate. It’s a perfect representation of what it’s like to live with an eating disorder. The writer shows how Riley's health is compromised and how it’s not as glamorous as the stereotype suggests and how Riley actually becomes so poorly, how her grades suffer, how her friendships are jeopardised and her home life is miserable. I loved how the writer shows eating disorders to be a family illness and explores how they contribute to the disease. The comparison to her “perfect” sister, the mom who is diet-culture obsessed, the absent and ignorant dad and the toxic relationship the parents both have with their daughter who often denies her attention, invalidates her feelings and minimises her struggles was so well done. It was all just so authentic and raw and I adored it.
Another thing I’d like to praise is the positive representation of mental health professionals. Far too often, therapists and psychologists are demonised but Petro-Roy shows how they are an aid in Riley's recovery and are beyond helpful, which often is the truth for real life. Showing how therapy is nothing to be ashamed of is a remarkable message to convey, especially considering the younger readers who are being targeted.
Unfortunately, some behaviours of Riley's and the other girls are detailed so I do advise caution and be aware of that before delving in. On the other hand, the writer avoids all numbers and deliberate triggers so I felt very safe when consuming the story, which only added to my enjoyment.
The novel is often criticised for having the main messages be out in summary rather than subtext which robs them from their emotional intensity and although to an extent, I can agree, I think that this was necessary. In no way would I like to suggest that younger readers are stupid and incapable of comprehending complex messages and morals, but the more harmful aspects of the book such as the setting could be taken to be the main elements of this, ultimately making the book out to be what it is not and have the opposite effect than intended. Therefore, it could be possible that Petro-Roy's blatancy in conveying the messages and themes of the book could be to ensure the novel has its intended purpose and the readers take away what they were meant to.
In conclusion, this was an outstanding book with a realistic insight to the reality of an eating disorder and I strongly urge you to read it if it’s appropriate to do so. It is such an important book and I think it can be very significant and influential to younger readers.