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Nerve: Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave New Science Of Fear and Cool
Popular author Taylor Clark draws on cutting-edge research in this enlightening exploration of stress—and how to tackle it constructively. Using such divergent examples as Russian sub commanders and game show contestants, Clark shows that most people experience stress the same way. Those who understand how to accept it without freezing can accomplish what needs to get done. "The author makes some shrewd observations [and] he really knows how to write, too: the book is informative, engaging, and, in quite a few places, funny."—Booklist
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First published March 6, 2011
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March 8, 2012
*Fear not the fear!*
Fear! Anxiety! Stress! If reading those words just about pushed you over the edge, then Read! This! Book! (Now!).
Non-trembling hands down, Taylor's book _Nerve_ is one of the best ones I've encountered on dealing with the "nervous trinity" of fear, anxiety, and stress. The author is actually the perfect person to deliver the message that fear is not the enemy we assume it to be. In the beginning of the book he admits that:
"I am hardly the cool-headed master of fear. I'm not a psychologist, and I'm not a guru with a seven-step plan to help you End Worry Today! Or Unleash Your Fearless Warrior Spirit...I am in fact, a fairly neurotic guy with more than my fair share of irrational, deep-seated worries and anxieties." (p. 13)
And, it is through his own research-inspired, actually-lived (and trembled-through) experiences of confronting his own demons that Taylor is able to offer a new way to relate to fear. His approach centers on the wisdom that "Fear is not our enemy. We don't need to get rid of fear or push it away. We need to learn how to be afraid." (p. 16)
With his wit, humor, savvy writing style, and down-to-earth guidance, Taylor shows that being afraid really is not so scary after all. As he points out: "Our problem is almost never 'fear itself' but the way we relate to that fear--by avoiding, withdrawing, seeking control, worrying, or falling victim to the mistaken belief that things will be okay only after we've annihilated all anxiety. Fear can be a good thing: it helps us survive, gives us meaning to our achievements, facilitates our performance, and makes us feel alive. Yes, fear can be uncomfortable and bewildering, and it can even thwart our most dearly held goals--but it doesn't have to be so...It's not whether you feel afraid that matters, but how you react to that fear." (p. 272)
After presenting fascinating case studies, debunking popular myths, and exploring the "brave new science of fear and cool," the book culminates in twelve key steps for learning how to be afraid (pp. 272-280):
1. Breathe--Deep breathing actually decreases reactivity in the parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces heart rate, resulting in your feeling less anxious and stressed.
2. Put your feelings into words--Talking or writing about emotions helps brain to consciously process them instead of becoming overwhelmed by them.
3. Train, practice, prepare--Training through repetition and experience is the only reliable way to ensure success. The U.S. military promotes this idea with their eight Ps: "Proper prior planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance."
4. Redirect your focus--Concentrate on the present moment and on the task at hand, instead of on the "what-if" fears of the future.
5. Mindfully disentangle from worries and anxious thoughts--Learn to non-judgmentally "watch your worries" or postpone them instead of trying to wrestle with them.
6. Expose yourself to your fears--The only way to get over a fear is to go through it. As Taylor urges, "You must expose yourself to the things and ideas that scare you."
7. Learn to accept uncertainty and lack of control--Here's where the Serenity Prayer comes in handy by encouraging us to find the "serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
8. Reframe the situation--Keep fear in perspective by doubting your doubts and reappraising how you look at the situation. In the words of Elizabeth Phelps (whom the Taylor cites as "the NYU reappraisal expert"): "When you change the way you appraise a situation, you change your emotional response to it."
9. Joke around--By poking fun at a stressor, we take away its "psychological venom."
10. Build faith in yourself--Having confidence helps to transform threats into challenges we can cope with with and overcome. Believing we can influence the outcome reduces anxiety in a frightening situation.
11. Keep your eyes on a guiding principle--When we're feeling overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, dedication to a higher purpose can keep us grounded and motivated. Taylor so appropriately cites Nietzsche's wise words of "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."
12. Open up to fear unconditionally--Contrary to popular belief, the best way to deal with fear is not to fight, control, avoid, or analyze it, but to simply expect, welcome, and accept it. Taylor's prescription is much more effective than any anti-anxiety medication will ever be: "There's nothing wrong with feeling anxious, ever, over anything at all. Fear and anxiety are part of who we are. Once we drop the pointless, wrongheaded routine about needing to get rid of them, we carry fear and anxiety around with us through life like friendly companions. Instead of battling fear, we just let it happen, and when the fight against it dissolves, so does the torment."
Through these steps "we slowly learn to live in harmony with fear, anxiety, and stress, expecting them to show up and welcome them when they do. And then a problem that once seed so horrific and intractable becomes so simple--and really not a problem at all." (p. 278)
So, go and (at least pretend to) be fearless and get your hands on a copy of this book, asap! And, once you're finished reading it, you might even realize that by not fearing the fear you can even become friends with it. (OK, so you might have to read the book twice to get to that
Fear! Anxiety! Stress! If reading those words just about pushed you over the edge, then Read! This! Book! (Now!).
Non-trembling hands down, Taylor's book _Nerve_ is one of the best ones I've encountered on dealing with the "nervous trinity" of fear, anxiety, and stress. The author is actually the perfect person to deliver the message that fear is not the enemy we assume it to be. In the beginning of the book he admits that:
"I am hardly the cool-headed master of fear. I'm not a psychologist, and I'm not a guru with a seven-step plan to help you End Worry Today! Or Unleash Your Fearless Warrior Spirit...I am in fact, a fairly neurotic guy with more than my fair share of irrational, deep-seated worries and anxieties." (p. 13)
And, it is through his own research-inspired, actually-lived (and trembled-through) experiences of confronting his own demons that Taylor is able to offer a new way to relate to fear. His approach centers on the wisdom that "Fear is not our enemy. We don't need to get rid of fear or push it away. We need to learn how to be afraid." (p. 16)
With his wit, humor, savvy writing style, and down-to-earth guidance, Taylor shows that being afraid really is not so scary after all. As he points out: "Our problem is almost never 'fear itself' but the way we relate to that fear--by avoiding, withdrawing, seeking control, worrying, or falling victim to the mistaken belief that things will be okay only after we've annihilated all anxiety. Fear can be a good thing: it helps us survive, gives us meaning to our achievements, facilitates our performance, and makes us feel alive. Yes, fear can be uncomfortable and bewildering, and it can even thwart our most dearly held goals--but it doesn't have to be so...It's not whether you feel afraid that matters, but how you react to that fear." (p. 272)
After presenting fascinating case studies, debunking popular myths, and exploring the "brave new science of fear and cool," the book culminates in twelve key steps for learning how to be afraid (pp. 272-280):
1. Breathe--Deep breathing actually decreases reactivity in the parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces heart rate, resulting in your feeling less anxious and stressed.
2. Put your feelings into words--Talking or writing about emotions helps brain to consciously process them instead of becoming overwhelmed by them.
3. Train, practice, prepare--Training through repetition and experience is the only reliable way to ensure success. The U.S. military promotes this idea with their eight Ps: "Proper prior planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance."
4. Redirect your focus--Concentrate on the present moment and on the task at hand, instead of on the "what-if" fears of the future.
5. Mindfully disentangle from worries and anxious thoughts--Learn to non-judgmentally "watch your worries" or postpone them instead of trying to wrestle with them.
6. Expose yourself to your fears--The only way to get over a fear is to go through it. As Taylor urges, "You must expose yourself to the things and ideas that scare you."
7. Learn to accept uncertainty and lack of control--Here's where the Serenity Prayer comes in handy by encouraging us to find the "serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
8. Reframe the situation--Keep fear in perspective by doubting your doubts and reappraising how you look at the situation. In the words of Elizabeth Phelps (whom the Taylor cites as "the NYU reappraisal expert"): "When you change the way you appraise a situation, you change your emotional response to it."
9. Joke around--By poking fun at a stressor, we take away its "psychological venom."
10. Build faith in yourself--Having confidence helps to transform threats into challenges we can cope with with and overcome. Believing we can influence the outcome reduces anxiety in a frightening situation.
11. Keep your eyes on a guiding principle--When we're feeling overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, dedication to a higher purpose can keep us grounded and motivated. Taylor so appropriately cites Nietzsche's wise words of "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."
12. Open up to fear unconditionally--Contrary to popular belief, the best way to deal with fear is not to fight, control, avoid, or analyze it, but to simply expect, welcome, and accept it. Taylor's prescription is much more effective than any anti-anxiety medication will ever be: "There's nothing wrong with feeling anxious, ever, over anything at all. Fear and anxiety are part of who we are. Once we drop the pointless, wrongheaded routine about needing to get rid of them, we carry fear and anxiety around with us through life like friendly companions. Instead of battling fear, we just let it happen, and when the fight against it dissolves, so does the torment."
Through these steps "we slowly learn to live in harmony with fear, anxiety, and stress, expecting them to show up and welcome them when they do. And then a problem that once seed so horrific and intractable becomes so simple--and really not a problem at all." (p. 278)
So, go and (at least pretend to) be fearless and get your hands on a copy of this book, asap! And, once you're finished reading it, you might even realize that by not fearing the fear you can even become friends with it. (OK, so you might have to read the book twice to get to that
September 4, 2018
Skaityti buvo įdomu. Daug įvairių faktų bei patirčių, šiek tiek kandaus humoro ir keli labai aiškūs bei pagrįsti patarimai, ką daryti, kai bijai, kuriuos visus galima apibendrinti Seth Godin žodžiais "If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try".
August 7, 2023
Šauni knyga, tačiau pavadinimas netikslus. Keisčiau į “Faktai apie nerimą, baimę ir stresą- kam, kur ir kaip jie pasireiškia”.
O įveikti nerimą vis tik ne taip paprasta ir nėra geresnio būdo už praktiką, baimės priėmimą ir instinktyvų veikimą kuo mažiau leidžiant smegenims galvoti.
O įveikti nerimą vis tik ne taip paprasta ir nėra geresnio būdo už praktiką, baimės priėmimą ir instinktyvų veikimą kuo mažiau leidžiant smegenims galvoti.
December 12, 2012
The thing about fear is that it's a rather straightforward and simple subject when you're not afraid. However, when fear takes over your mind, it's another story. Hence the science behind fear might seem trivial, but it is very real, and is extremely practical. In this context, the science that's described in the book might seem trivial, yet it adds so much practical value that this book might end up being the best thing you'll read.
The book is loosely categorized into chapters that from the first glance doesn't make sense. But the author ties them up into a story that builds up as it goes so it's rather fun to read. He starts by emphasizing that fear is an emotional response and it cannot be put out by rational thought. He describes how fear has been a powerful conditioner that's helped us learn lessons that has saved our lives and how fears are 'embodied in our DNA'. But he also describes why fear should not be used as a 'learning tool' or a memory enhancer.
The book then takes you on a journey of hypercondriacs who fear about their health all the time, firefighters who take decisions without thinking, heroic veterans and civilians that seem superhuman but who are really afraid like the rest of us, baseball superstars who suddenly choke and have performance anxiety, a woman with short-term memory that remembers fear response but doesn't understand why and evil doctors who conditioned toddlers to fear fluffy animals. Together, these stories paint a picture of what fear really is.
Read this book. It may very well change your life, or at least the way you react to your own fears.
The book is loosely categorized into chapters that from the first glance doesn't make sense. But the author ties them up into a story that builds up as it goes so it's rather fun to read. He starts by emphasizing that fear is an emotional response and it cannot be put out by rational thought. He describes how fear has been a powerful conditioner that's helped us learn lessons that has saved our lives and how fears are 'embodied in our DNA'. But he also describes why fear should not be used as a 'learning tool' or a memory enhancer.
The book then takes you on a journey of hypercondriacs who fear about their health all the time, firefighters who take decisions without thinking, heroic veterans and civilians that seem superhuman but who are really afraid like the rest of us, baseball superstars who suddenly choke and have performance anxiety, a woman with short-term memory that remembers fear response but doesn't understand why and evil doctors who conditioned toddlers to fear fluffy animals. Together, these stories paint a picture of what fear really is.
Read this book. It may very well change your life, or at least the way you react to your own fears.
April 21, 2017
Taylor Clark is entertaining and humorous as he writes about fear, anxiety, and stress, and how the seemingly fearless actually handle fear with heroism. Clark's thesis, embracing fear and working with it to discover cool under pressure, is a theme we have heard before. But Nerve is very readable, full of case studies that brim with the personalities of the subjects and of Clark himself. His humorous footnote at the bottom of one page, "Incidentally, most of what we know about the science of fear comes from tormenting rats," is indicative of his writing style.
As someone who is hit with a fair amount of anxiety, I have read numerous books on the subject, many dry, and few helpful. Clark's Nerve is not a bombshell cure for fear and anxiety, but rather an engaging look at the science, stories, and mechanisms behind fear and cool. His suggested reading list at the end probably holds more answers for dealing with one's own fear and anxiety, but Nerve is a good, easy read that stimulated the pleasure center of my brain.
As someone who is hit with a fair amount of anxiety, I have read numerous books on the subject, many dry, and few helpful. Clark's Nerve is not a bombshell cure for fear and anxiety, but rather an engaging look at the science, stories, and mechanisms behind fear and cool. His suggested reading list at the end probably holds more answers for dealing with one's own fear and anxiety, but Nerve is a good, easy read that stimulated the pleasure center of my brain.
July 14, 2015
Puiki knyga. Nepavadinčiau jos savipagalbos knyga. Veikiau knyga, suteikiančia daug informacijos. Autorius sugebėjo suprantamai, paprastai ir įdomiai perteikti neurologų, psichologų, psichiatrų ir kitų specialistų atliktus tyrimus apie nerimą, baimę ir stresą bei sujungti juos su įdomiomis istorijomis apie žmonių (ir gyvūnų) elgesį, savijautą bei mintis nerimo, baimės ir streso akivaizdoje. Istorijomis, tokiomis kaip apie:
- Sovietų povandeninius laivus, Kubos raketų krizę bei tai, kaip vos neprasidėjo Trečiasis pasaulinis karas. Branduolinis Trečiasis pasaulinis karas.
- Riestanosį žaltį, kurio apsimetimas negyvu panašesnis „į komiko vakarą nei savisaugos instinktą“.
- Televizijos laidų apie tai, kaip statomi dideli pastatai, vedėją, kuris siaubingai bijojo aukščio.
- Ko ir kodėl bijojo kareiviai, bet nebijojo civiliai Antrojo pasaulinio karo metu arba kaip vokiečių karininkams (ne)pavyko įgyvendinti plano, kaip palaužti britų valią.
- Vietnamo karo veteranus, kalėjusius Hanojaus Hiltone, ir kas padėjo jiems išlikti atspariems patiriamam stresui.
- Kaip vyras, turintis kognityvinės neurologijos specialybę, ruošėsi naudodamasis smegenų tyrimų žiniomis nugalėti „Milijonieriaus“ ir „Grand Slam“ žaidimuose ir kaip jam ten sekėsi.
- Kas atsitiko, kai per radijo stotį buvo transliuojama pramoginė laida, kurioje buvo atliekamas pramoginis radijo spektaklis pagal H. G. Wellso romano „Pasaulių karo“ adaptaciją.
- Apie tai, ką karinių pajėgų lakūnai praminė „degančio šalmo“ reiškiniu, bei kaip vieno lėktuvo įgula turėjo nutupdyti lėktuvą po to, kai įvykus gedimui jo nebebuvo įmanoma suvaldyti.
- Kokia auditorija sumažintų scenos baimę bei kiek streso kelia užduoties atlikimas vienam, stebint artimiausiems draugams bei stebint naminiam šuniukui (arba katei).
- Kaip Luciano Pavarotti, Laurence Olivier bei Zoe Keating dorojosi su scenos baime.
- Kas atsitiko Steve‘ui Blass‘ui arba kodėl profesionalūs sportininkai užsikerta.
- Kaip ir kodėl Hectorui Cafferatai sekėsi vienam atsilaikyti prieš kinų kuopą.
- Kaip žmonės iš tikrųjų elgiasi užklupus krizei arba kiek tarp jų sutrikusių „avių“.
- Kas nutiko, kai policininkas mokėsi nuginkluoti priartėjusį užpuoliką ir galiausiai pateko į realią situaciją.
- Kokios istorijos išgyvenimo treneris nepasakojo niekam iš oro pajėgų iki pat išėjmo į pensiją ceremonijos arba kaip jo karjera vos nepasibaigė per pirmuosius mokymus.
- Kaip iš tikrųjų jautėsi (kiek bijojo) žmogus, dukart gavęs Carnegie komisijos medalius už didvyriškumą.
- Kaip astronautui sekėsi valdyti raketą kai sugedo automatinio valdymo sistemos.
Galėčiau tęsti ir tęsti (manau aiškiai matosi, kad negalėjau sustoti), nes tų istorijų begalė ir visos įdomios (o taip norisi kam nors apie jas papasakoti). Ir dar, visa tai autorius sugebėjo pateikti šmaikščiai. Žodžiu, knyga labai labai patiko.
P. S. Galbūt knyga nelabai tiktų bijantiems skraidyti lėktuvais. Nors pati nė karto nepatyriau tokios baimės, kai kurios knygoje papasakotos istorijos paskatino sunerimti. Bet galbūt pamiršiu tai, ir kai kitą kartą skrisiu lėktuvu, nebijosiu (tikiuosi). O kaip tai paveiktų bijančius skraidyti, gali pasakyti tik žmogus, kuris tokia baimę patiria.
- Sovietų povandeninius laivus, Kubos raketų krizę bei tai, kaip vos neprasidėjo Trečiasis pasaulinis karas. Branduolinis Trečiasis pasaulinis karas.
- Riestanosį žaltį, kurio apsimetimas negyvu panašesnis „į komiko vakarą nei savisaugos instinktą“.
- Televizijos laidų apie tai, kaip statomi dideli pastatai, vedėją, kuris siaubingai bijojo aukščio.
- Ko ir kodėl bijojo kareiviai, bet nebijojo civiliai Antrojo pasaulinio karo metu arba kaip vokiečių karininkams (ne)pavyko įgyvendinti plano, kaip palaužti britų valią.
- Vietnamo karo veteranus, kalėjusius Hanojaus Hiltone, ir kas padėjo jiems išlikti atspariems patiriamam stresui.
- Kaip vyras, turintis kognityvinės neurologijos specialybę, ruošėsi naudodamasis smegenų tyrimų žiniomis nugalėti „Milijonieriaus“ ir „Grand Slam“ žaidimuose ir kaip jam ten sekėsi.
- Kas atsitiko, kai per radijo stotį buvo transliuojama pramoginė laida, kurioje buvo atliekamas pramoginis radijo spektaklis pagal H. G. Wellso romano „Pasaulių karo“ adaptaciją.
- Apie tai, ką karinių pajėgų lakūnai praminė „degančio šalmo“ reiškiniu, bei kaip vieno lėktuvo įgula turėjo nutupdyti lėktuvą po to, kai įvykus gedimui jo nebebuvo įmanoma suvaldyti.
- Kokia auditorija sumažintų scenos baimę bei kiek streso kelia užduoties atlikimas vienam, stebint artimiausiems draugams bei stebint naminiam šuniukui (arba katei).
- Kaip Luciano Pavarotti, Laurence Olivier bei Zoe Keating dorojosi su scenos baime.
- Kas atsitiko Steve‘ui Blass‘ui arba kodėl profesionalūs sportininkai užsikerta.
- Kaip ir kodėl Hectorui Cafferatai sekėsi vienam atsilaikyti prieš kinų kuopą.
- Kaip žmonės iš tikrųjų elgiasi užklupus krizei arba kiek tarp jų sutrikusių „avių“.
- Kas nutiko, kai policininkas mokėsi nuginkluoti priartėjusį užpuoliką ir galiausiai pateko į realią situaciją.
- Kokios istorijos išgyvenimo treneris nepasakojo niekam iš oro pajėgų iki pat išėjmo į pensiją ceremonijos arba kaip jo karjera vos nepasibaigė per pirmuosius mokymus.
- Kaip iš tikrųjų jautėsi (kiek bijojo) žmogus, dukart gavęs Carnegie komisijos medalius už didvyriškumą.
- Kaip astronautui sekėsi valdyti raketą kai sugedo automatinio valdymo sistemos.
Galėčiau tęsti ir tęsti (manau aiškiai matosi, kad negalėjau sustoti), nes tų istorijų begalė ir visos įdomios (o taip norisi kam nors apie jas papasakoti). Ir dar, visa tai autorius sugebėjo pateikti šmaikščiai. Žodžiu, knyga labai labai patiko.
P. S. Galbūt knyga nelabai tiktų bijantiems skraidyti lėktuvais. Nors pati nė karto nepatyriau tokios baimės, kai kurios knygoje papasakotos istorijos paskatino sunerimti. Bet galbūt pamiršiu tai, ir kai kitą kartą skrisiu lėktuvu, nebijosiu (tikiuosi). O kaip tai paveiktų bijančius skraidyti, gali pasakyti tik žmogus, kuris tokia baimę patiria.
June 27, 2011
I can honestly say that this book about the psychology of fear was fascinating. Unlike the textbooks I read in college for my Psychology minor, each topic is illustrated by real-life examples that turns a possibly dry discussion into an emotional rollercoaster. The author's intellectual wit make for a fun, interesting read.
May 19, 2019
Daug įkvepiančių istorijų apie bijančius, bet stiprius žmones. Mažai mokslinės teorijos, daugiau grynai praktinė pusė.
April 10, 2020
This was a very funny book because the author admits to having problems with anxiety himself, so it doesn't feel preachy at all. I really like how the chapters are separated and each one begins with a narrative of a stressful situation. The author is not only a great writer about something everyone deals with, stress, but he is a great storyteller.
This book also has tons of fun facts about stressful events in history. Example did you know why PTSD was first called Shell Shock? Because troops during the World Wars were only showing signs of PTSD who were directly related to military units that endured massive amounts of direct battle-as in shelling. Also did you know why most citizens of London did not fall to Shell Shock during the Blitz? The answer is in the book. Most importantly the book has twelve things that can help anyone reduce or control their own stress levels.
1. Breathe-Deep breathing, Meditation, actually decreases reactivity in the parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces heart rate, resulting in you feeling less stressed.
2. Put your feelings into words--Talking or writing about feelings helps your brain to process them instead of becoming overwhelmed.
3. Train, practice, prepare--Training through repetition and experience is the only reliable way to ensure success. The U.S. military promotes this idea with their eight Ps: "Proper prior planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance."
4. Redirect your focus--Concentrate on the present and on the task at hand, instead of on the "what-if". Take each day one at a time.
5. Mindfully disentangle from anxious thoughts--learn to non-judgmentally "watch your worries" instead of trying to deal with them.
6. Expose yourself to your fears--The only way to get over a fear is to go through it. As Taylor urges, "You must expose yourself to the things and ideas that scare you."
7. Learn to accept lack of control--Here's where the Serenity Prayer comes in handy by encouraging us to find the "serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
8. Reframe the situation--Keep fear in perspective by doubting your doubts and reappraising how you look at the situation.
9. Joke around--By poking fun at a stressor, we take away its "psychological venom."
10. Build faith in yourself--Having confidence helps to transform threats into challenges we can overcome. Believing we can influence the outcome reduces anxiety.
11. Keep your eyes on a guiding principle--When you're feeling overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, dedication to a higher purpose can keep us grounded and motivated.
12. Open up to fear unconditionally-The best way to deal with fear is not to fight, control, avoid, or analyze it, but to simply expect, welcome, and accept it. "There's nothing wrong with feeling anxious, ever, over anything at all. Fear and anxiety are part of who we are. Once we drop the pointless, wrongheaded routine about needing to get rid of them, we carry fear and anxiety around with us through life like friendly companions. Instead of battling fear, we just let it happen, and when the fight against it dissolves, so does the torment."
This book also has tons of fun facts about stressful events in history. Example did you know why PTSD was first called Shell Shock? Because troops during the World Wars were only showing signs of PTSD who were directly related to military units that endured massive amounts of direct battle-as in shelling. Also did you know why most citizens of London did not fall to Shell Shock during the Blitz? The answer is in the book. Most importantly the book has twelve things that can help anyone reduce or control their own stress levels.
1. Breathe-Deep breathing, Meditation, actually decreases reactivity in the parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces heart rate, resulting in you feeling less stressed.
2. Put your feelings into words--Talking or writing about feelings helps your brain to process them instead of becoming overwhelmed.
3. Train, practice, prepare--Training through repetition and experience is the only reliable way to ensure success. The U.S. military promotes this idea with their eight Ps: "Proper prior planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance."
4. Redirect your focus--Concentrate on the present and on the task at hand, instead of on the "what-if". Take each day one at a time.
5. Mindfully disentangle from anxious thoughts--learn to non-judgmentally "watch your worries" instead of trying to deal with them.
6. Expose yourself to your fears--The only way to get over a fear is to go through it. As Taylor urges, "You must expose yourself to the things and ideas that scare you."
7. Learn to accept lack of control--Here's where the Serenity Prayer comes in handy by encouraging us to find the "serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
8. Reframe the situation--Keep fear in perspective by doubting your doubts and reappraising how you look at the situation.
9. Joke around--By poking fun at a stressor, we take away its "psychological venom."
10. Build faith in yourself--Having confidence helps to transform threats into challenges we can overcome. Believing we can influence the outcome reduces anxiety.
11. Keep your eyes on a guiding principle--When you're feeling overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, dedication to a higher purpose can keep us grounded and motivated.
12. Open up to fear unconditionally-The best way to deal with fear is not to fight, control, avoid, or analyze it, but to simply expect, welcome, and accept it. "There's nothing wrong with feeling anxious, ever, over anything at all. Fear and anxiety are part of who we are. Once we drop the pointless, wrongheaded routine about needing to get rid of them, we carry fear and anxiety around with us through life like friendly companions. Instead of battling fear, we just let it happen, and when the fight against it dissolves, so does the torment."
May 2, 2011
The book is entertaining (I felt like I’m reading a magazine). The book is filled with interviews/stories of athletes, firefighters, surgeons … etc.
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*Amygdala is the home center for our fear in the brain. In any dangerous situation, the amygdala “takes over” the frontal cortex (thinking area). The amygdala also has its own memory and that’s why you don’t forget fear memories, unlike any other memories.
*To overcome fear, we shouldn’t avoid it but face it. Facing fear over time will lead to the extinction of fear. “Mindfulness” or “the watchful mind” (watching the flowing thoughts without judgment) is an approach that is helpful in facing your fear.
*“The smarter you are, the more susceptible you become to chocking under pressure in mental tasks”
*There are common characteristics in those who perform well under pressure: confidence, training, locus of control, tolerance for uncertainty and task focus.
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Overall, it’s not enough, I was expecting richer content. Many of the conclusions are not really new or surprising. But I have to say that it was entertaining. I read this book while waiting for so many appointments this month. I think it would be a great audio book.
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*Amygdala is the home center for our fear in the brain. In any dangerous situation, the amygdala “takes over” the frontal cortex (thinking area). The amygdala also has its own memory and that’s why you don’t forget fear memories, unlike any other memories.
*To overcome fear, we shouldn’t avoid it but face it. Facing fear over time will lead to the extinction of fear. “Mindfulness” or “the watchful mind” (watching the flowing thoughts without judgment) is an approach that is helpful in facing your fear.
*“The smarter you are, the more susceptible you become to chocking under pressure in mental tasks”
*There are common characteristics in those who perform well under pressure: confidence, training, locus of control, tolerance for uncertainty and task focus.
---
Overall, it’s not enough, I was expecting richer content. Many of the conclusions are not really new or surprising. But I have to say that it was entertaining. I read this book while waiting for so many appointments this month. I think it would be a great audio book.
August 18, 2017
An excellent collection of stories about how people from all walks of life either cope or give in to the highly stressful situations that are placed in front of them. Whether it's a professional sports player, a trauma unit surgeon, or an innocent bystander at the beach, Clark pulls the reader right into their lives. The author also provides great suggestions on how to cope with stressful situations in your own life.
May 10, 2019
A somewhat lighthearted take on a serious subject, 'Nerve' was an interesting read with a lot of examples that brought the content to life. The primary message of the book is that fear is not our enemy - the bravest of people feel fear; they just have a smarter way of interacting with it than the average person. 'Nerve' was not a technical read, but was an entertaining book touching on stress, anxiety, and fear.
May 9, 2021
Originalus šios knygos pavadinimas "Nerve: Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave New Science of Fear and Cool". Lietuviškas vertimas skamba popsiškai ir visai neatspindi puikaus knygos turinio
December 14, 2014
I was thrilled to receive this book in a Firstreads giveaway and enjoy reading literature on resiliency and survival. Nerve is an entertaining, well-written exploration of fear, phobias, anxiety and just plain nerves. Taylor Clark delves into the physiological and mental aspects of fear’s manifestations and what we can do to overcome its hold on us. Most importantly we must accept our fears and face them bravely. Avoidance is one of the worst things we can possibly do.
One of the most interesting chapters to me came at the end when Clark analyzes the disastrous yet ultimately successful mission of astronaut Gordon Cooper and how he managed to make it back to Earth under incredibly dangerous circumstances. However, I do think Clark has a tendency to be dramatic and that he possibly exaggerates the pilot's fear. The interesting thing is that whether or not you are trying to overcome a fear of speaking in public or attempting to land a disintegrating rocket, the skill set is the same.
Clark ends his book with a prescription of very useful skills for overcoming one’s anxiety regardless if it’s a fear of heights or facing down a loaded gun. My favorite part came at the very end when he suggests that courage is a path we walk throughout our life. I love that idea, courage as a path of life.
I would have appreciated Nerve even more if I hadn't read much of his bibliography already. He does rehash a lot of what I've already read. However, after finishing Nerve, I did feel like I had learned something new. I definitely recommend this book.
April 18, 2014
"Work with your fear instead of wasting energy fighting it. Fear is normal for everyone. Those who succeed just learn to expect and embrace it."
That quote is my attempt at an 80/20 of this book's core message. This non-fiction book is well-written. While not an academic work, I wouldn't classify it as a thin, "pop-business" book either. It's somewhere in between. "Nerve" is well researched and the blend of solid research and effective storytelling means the books lessons have a better shot of sticking with the reader long after reading.
The author does a great job of showing how relatable people deal with fear and succeed instead of just telling us what people do. There's a reason writers are instructed to show and not tell: it allows readers to connect with the characters on their own and extrapolate the lessons.
The only reason I'm giving this book four stars instead of five is due to the last third of this book falling flat after some excellent content in the first two-thirds.
I recommend this book.
That quote is my attempt at an 80/20 of this book's core message. This non-fiction book is well-written. While not an academic work, I wouldn't classify it as a thin, "pop-business" book either. It's somewhere in between. "Nerve" is well researched and the blend of solid research and effective storytelling means the books lessons have a better shot of sticking with the reader long after reading.
The author does a great job of showing how relatable people deal with fear and succeed instead of just telling us what people do. There's a reason writers are instructed to show and not tell: it allows readers to connect with the characters on their own and extrapolate the lessons.
The only reason I'm giving this book four stars instead of five is due to the last third of this book falling flat after some excellent content in the first two-thirds.
I recommend this book.
January 7, 2014
I have a high standard for work written in layman's terms discussing scientific discoveries. These books need to be pretty compellingly written for me to take the time to read them. Similar information is widely available from other sources, written in tiny consumable bites. I often ask, why does this subject need to be discussed in a longer format? To me, this book doesn't answer that question.
I didn't feel I was learning anything new in this book, and the writing was not good enough for me to enjoy the book in itself.
I didn't feel I was learning anything new in this book, and the writing was not good enough for me to enjoy the book in itself.
February 12, 2013
Not going to lie, this book has been amazing! Rarely do I feel the need to talk about the books I read in conversation, however this one managed to pop up in some way every day since I've read it! The book covers incredibly interesting topics and tells vivid stores which only make the reader ready to take action against their own fears and challenge what they thought would be impossible! Already I've used 10+ hours talking about this book and its subjects alone! Don't you love it when you read something truly influential?!
November 1, 2013
This book is amazing it gives you the basic information involving fear, stress, and anxiety. So for people who are new to psychology this is perfect. It give little stories, and interview so that it keeps the reader interested for the whole book. At the same time they provided us with new information thats also easy to understand. It doesn't give us too much information that we don't understand what we are read either. So it's a great book if your just getting into psychology, and I suspect that is amusing for someone in this field.
July 16, 2013
I thought this book was lazy. Perhaps it's because I've read numerous books like this, but it uses the most obvious anecdotes (Buddha, Ganhdi, etc) and doesn't bring anything new to the table. The advice the book gives is remarkably similar to Stoicism (learn to accept uncertainty, redirect your focus), but the author never mentions Stoicism, just throws around the word "amygdala" a lot.
May 27, 2011
This book will really strike a little fear as you read about snakes and tsunami’s! I goes through lots of case studies and gives advice on overcoming fears. It’s kind of like reading a series of magazine articles.
October 23, 2017
I only lasted 50 pages. What started as interesting sort of fizzled out quickly and got too dry.
July 10, 2022
“Every time we step onboard an airplane for a domestic commercial flight our odds of dying are approximately 1 in 60 million. Driving the distance of a typical flight on the other hand carries a risk of fatality roughly 60 times greater than airline travel.”
This book was full of relatable emotional and fear response situations. I enjoyed the level of detail of the investigations.
As a high anxiety person working in a creative field, it was both comforting and disheartening to hear how common anxiety is and to better understand the obvious, but hard to grasp idea that getting comfortable with fear is much more of a solution than worrying about it.
It reminded me of Malcolm Gladwell’s books, but the subject of fear and anxiety spoke more deeply to me than a lot of those related topics.
I would love to see this author look at the effect toxic (and narcissistic) bosses have on support staff like assistants in the entertainment industry.
A fascinating read. The audio book was also excellently done.
This book was full of relatable emotional and fear response situations. I enjoyed the level of detail of the investigations.
As a high anxiety person working in a creative field, it was both comforting and disheartening to hear how common anxiety is and to better understand the obvious, but hard to grasp idea that getting comfortable with fear is much more of a solution than worrying about it.
It reminded me of Malcolm Gladwell’s books, but the subject of fear and anxiety spoke more deeply to me than a lot of those related topics.
I would love to see this author look at the effect toxic (and narcissistic) bosses have on support staff like assistants in the entertainment industry.
A fascinating read. The audio book was also excellently done.
January 11, 2024
I first read this book years ago and I think of it often. I decided to re-read it. There are some minor aspects I don't love or that don't hold up super well (we've come a long way in talking about gender differences even in 12 years) but overall I still found it very useful for exactly the kind of performance anxiety I struggle with. There are lots of useful tips and reframings. I try to save my five-star reviews, so I would probably give it four stars if I were reading this for the first time, but it really has been an impactful book for me that I've recommended a lot over the years, so it deserves five.
December 1, 2020
A penetrating thrust into what is behind stoicism. Plowing into the dry subject, bottom to top, alternating the bottom’s pain with the top, ultimately leaving the load on the face presented. The author no doubt used his own words as a salve, a defense for being the major contributor to another’s slow demise, brought down by the authors expose. The Large Bill will be collected, poise will be tested as the back passage is entered repeatedly with vigorous intensity, the ginger broken. Check out the book about coffee, too, something to peruse before the spit roast.
April 18, 2018
Quite interesting, gripping at times, stories of people going through all kinds of stressful situations and how they dealt with it. Lots of practical tips on how to overcome fear and panic. The last chapter about how police, military, and other organizations have learned they must train their people is eye opening.
January 29, 2018
This book was fascinating, and the author did a fantastic job of drawing the reader in. It felt as though I were sitting across the table from him, having an informative yet witty conversation. I can't wait to look up his other works.
Splendid stuff.
Splendid stuff.
May 12, 2019
Puiki, lengvai suprantama knyga apie baimę. Čia daugybė pavyzdžių kaip žmonės susigyvena su baime ir tuo pat metu atlieka neįtikėtinus dalykus. Svarbiausia tik neneigti pačios baimės, o jai užvaldžius toliau nenustoti veikti.
July 31, 2024
Ne visai tikslus knygos pavadinimas, nes patarimas čia tik vienas - išmokti susigyventi su savo baime, o ne bandyti ją įveikti. Faktų ir pasakojimų daug ir įdomių apie garsius žmones - muzikantus, sportininkus, kariškius, kurie išmoko arba ne gyventi su savo baimėmis.
March 19, 2018
Loved this book!! Fun, interesting stories and I feel he has some great insight into fear, anxiety and stress! Both my husband and I really enjoyed listening to it on tape!!
June 4, 2018
My take is iys all research inside the book. If somebody looking for some selfhelp probably can read last chapter . Else i think its a good read.
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