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Armastuse võimatud tõed
Liigutav lugu mälust, saladustest ja sellest, mis tunne on päriselt ühte perekonda kuuluda.
Kui Nelli isa ütleb surivoodil midagi, mis viitab pikalt varjatud perekonnasaladusele, äratab see Nellis taas teda aastaid piinanud isoleeritustunde. Ja kui Nelli ema Annie, kelle mälu hävitab dementsus, siis omakorda krüptiliste avaldustega lagedale tuleb, suurenevad Nelli kahtlused oma perekonna mineviku suhtes veelgi.
Kolmekümne viie aasta eest paiskas terve rida läbielamisi Annie elu pea peale, sundides teda üht vapustust teise järele sügavale südamesse peitma. Tema toona langetatud otsused olid kantud armastusest, kuigi ta teadis, et keegi ei mõistaks tema tegusid iial – ja oleks veel vähem valmis neid andestama.
Nende kahe naise lugude lahti rulludes avastab Nell viimaks laastava tõe oma ema ja iseenda minevikus.
Selles kaunilt kirjutatud ja emotsionaalses loos, mis räägib identiteedist, mälust ja perekonna olemusest, uurib Hannah Beckerman, kui kaugele oleme võimelised minema, et kaitsta neid, keda armastame.
IMELINE. Ma lugesin selle läbi ühe hoobiga! -- Marian Keyes
Kui Nelli isa ütleb surivoodil midagi, mis viitab pikalt varjatud perekonnasaladusele, äratab see Nellis taas teda aastaid piinanud isoleeritustunde. Ja kui Nelli ema Annie, kelle mälu hävitab dementsus, siis omakorda krüptiliste avaldustega lagedale tuleb, suurenevad Nelli kahtlused oma perekonna mineviku suhtes veelgi.
Kolmekümne viie aasta eest paiskas terve rida läbielamisi Annie elu pea peale, sundides teda üht vapustust teise järele sügavale südamesse peitma. Tema toona langetatud otsused olid kantud armastusest, kuigi ta teadis, et keegi ei mõistaks tema tegusid iial – ja oleks veel vähem valmis neid andestama.
Nende kahe naise lugude lahti rulludes avastab Nell viimaks laastava tõe oma ema ja iseenda minevikus.
Selles kaunilt kirjutatud ja emotsionaalses loos, mis räägib identiteedist, mälust ja perekonna olemusest, uurib Hannah Beckerman, kui kaugele oleme võimelised minema, et kaitsta neid, keda armastame.
IMELINE. Ma lugesin selle läbi ühe hoobiga! -- Marian Keyes
320 pages, Hardcover
First published October 5, 2021
1216 people are currently reading
4896 people want to read
About the author
Hannah Beckerman
10 books614 followersHannah Beckerman is an author, journalist, event chair and broadcaster. In the UK she writes for a range of publications including The Observer and The FT Weekend Magazine, and appears as a book critic on BBC Radio 2 and Times Radio. She regularly chairs at literary events and panels across the UK and has judged numerous book prizes including the Costa Book Awards.
Before becoming a writer, Hannah was a TV and film producer both in the UK and the US.
She lives in London.
Before becoming a writer, Hannah was a TV and film producer both in the UK and the US.
She lives in London.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 393 reviews
March 8, 2022
Happy Publishing Day! What a beautiful, touching, sad, truly realistic story of daughters, parents, sisterhood, missing changes, broken hearts and broken lives!
Nell is the main character of the story, a struggling woman with successful academic career. It was so easy to relate with her: especially her characteristic traits: how she’s raised by elder parents and how hard to become a little child of the family when she grows up along with her big sisters: feeling left behind, excluded, forcing herself to act more mature and grow faster than her own age ( I personally struggled with those predicaments and complex feelings, too.)
Her father is the only one supported her for the choices she’s made. She studied Psychological Sciences at Oxford University and after seventeen years later she became remarkable associate professor in stem cell therapies. Her choice to leave away from her family is always criticized by her own sisters who like to make snarky comments about anything she achieves, bottling up their resentments, feeling jealous of her freedom.
Now the only person she can truly communicate, her dear father Bill is in palliative care, about to die in a few days. Before her father dies, he tells her something unexpected. A secret: that makes no sense. But did her father mean? Could she learn the truth from her mother Annie who is suffering dementia. Could she be a reliable narrator of their life story?
But Nell already gets intrigued. She has to know the truth. As she digs deeper to find out the family secrets, we move backwards in 35 years to learn more about Bill and Annie’s story. Something so tragic happens to Annie which affects everything in her life, damages their marriage and unfortunately this is not the only tragedy the couple has to endure!
This is sad, powerful, strikingly emotional story. The words directly come out from depths of author’s heart. They’re genuine, unique, resonating, pure, real! Definitely a touching family drama you shouldn’t miss out!
Special thanks to NetGalley and Amazon Publishing UK for sharing this digital reviewer copy with me in exchange my honest opinions.
Nell is the main character of the story, a struggling woman with successful academic career. It was so easy to relate with her: especially her characteristic traits: how she’s raised by elder parents and how hard to become a little child of the family when she grows up along with her big sisters: feeling left behind, excluded, forcing herself to act more mature and grow faster than her own age ( I personally struggled with those predicaments and complex feelings, too.)
Her father is the only one supported her for the choices she’s made. She studied Psychological Sciences at Oxford University and after seventeen years later she became remarkable associate professor in stem cell therapies. Her choice to leave away from her family is always criticized by her own sisters who like to make snarky comments about anything she achieves, bottling up their resentments, feeling jealous of her freedom.
Now the only person she can truly communicate, her dear father Bill is in palliative care, about to die in a few days. Before her father dies, he tells her something unexpected. A secret: that makes no sense. But did her father mean? Could she learn the truth from her mother Annie who is suffering dementia. Could she be a reliable narrator of their life story?
But Nell already gets intrigued. She has to know the truth. As she digs deeper to find out the family secrets, we move backwards in 35 years to learn more about Bill and Annie’s story. Something so tragic happens to Annie which affects everything in her life, damages their marriage and unfortunately this is not the only tragedy the couple has to endure!
This is sad, powerful, strikingly emotional story. The words directly come out from depths of author’s heart. They’re genuine, unique, resonating, pure, real! Definitely a touching family drama you shouldn’t miss out!
Special thanks to NetGalley and Amazon Publishing UK for sharing this digital reviewer copy with me in exchange my honest opinions.
October 17, 2021
I would describe this as a slow-moving, well-written mystery. It’s not at all like a typical mystery, but when Nell’s father makes a cryptic deathbed comment under the influence of morphine, Nell begins to wonder if there is something behind the statement that would explain why she’s always felt like such an outsider from her family. She’s several years younger than her older sisters, and she was so gifted in the sciences she went on to earn a Ph.D. in genetics research, wildly more educated than the rest of her family. When her mother, who is battling dementia, also makes strange remark in between moments of lucidity, Nell decides to investigate more.
The story alternates between the past and present. In the past, we experience the grief of the matriarch, Annie, after she loses her five-week-old son to sudden infant crib death and in the present, Nell is grieving the loss of two parents because even though Annie is still alive, she doesn’t recognize her daughters much of the time.
My problem with this novel is that the grief of these two women is so well-written, I had no choice but to live their grief along with them, which made this such an unenjoyable read, and I simply couldn’t wait to be done with it. I speed read the last fourth just to get it over with.
Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this novel.
The story alternates between the past and present. In the past, we experience the grief of the matriarch, Annie, after she loses her five-week-old son to sudden infant crib death and in the present, Nell is grieving the loss of two parents because even though Annie is still alive, she doesn’t recognize her daughters much of the time.
My problem with this novel is that the grief of these two women is so well-written, I had no choice but to live their grief along with them, which made this such an unenjoyable read, and I simply couldn’t wait to be done with it. I speed read the last fourth just to get it over with.
Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this novel.
March 19, 2023
9.25/10
"An empty platitude, that there is no amount of time that can ever heal this grief."
The story goes on at two different times. Nell and her two sisters lost their father and take care of their mother, who has Alzheimer's disease. Nell finds something that is never supposed to understand, her mother's secret, her parent's secret, an old secret that changes her life.
The second story is about a mother who lost her child. Annie struggles to survive, how can she be still alive, breathe after losing her child, how people's consolation seems ridiculous!
I'm not going to spoil anything so, this was a story of grief in 340 pages. And I don't know why on earth I gave it 5 stars. I hate this book, It has very sad, heartbreaking, and cruel descriptions that make me cry. We never forget our losses, never stop grieving!
Well, ok I shouldn't say hate, but you know what I mean, don't you?
Many thanks to Amazon Publishing UK and Netgalley for giving me a chance to read The Impossible Truths of Love by Hannah Beckerman, I have given my honest review.
"It’ll get easier in time. So many people have said it, on so many occasions, ... none of them have ever lost someone they loved with the ferocity that ... Grief, does not follow a neat, linear trajectory. It does not, contrary to popular aphorism, get easier with every day. It does not gradually recede, like a tide that only ebbs but never flows. Instead, it is more like an unpredictable season of tropical storms that can be whipped into a tempest out at sea before crashing onto land, disabling everything in its path, without any warning."
"An empty platitude, that there is no amount of time that can ever heal this grief."
The story goes on at two different times. Nell and her two sisters lost their father and take care of their mother, who has Alzheimer's disease. Nell finds something that is never supposed to understand, her mother's secret, her parent's secret, an old secret that changes her life.
The second story is about a mother who lost her child. Annie struggles to survive, how can she be still alive, breathe after losing her child, how people's consolation seems ridiculous!
I'm not going to spoil anything so, this was a story of grief in 340 pages. And I don't know why on earth I gave it 5 stars. I hate this book, It has very sad, heartbreaking, and cruel descriptions that make me cry. We never forget our losses, never stop grieving!
Well, ok I shouldn't say hate, but you know what I mean, don't you?
Many thanks to Amazon Publishing UK and Netgalley for giving me a chance to read The Impossible Truths of Love by Hannah Beckerman, I have given my honest review.
"It’ll get easier in time. So many people have said it, on so many occasions, ... none of them have ever lost someone they loved with the ferocity that ... Grief, does not follow a neat, linear trajectory. It does not, contrary to popular aphorism, get easier with every day. It does not gradually recede, like a tide that only ebbs but never flows. Instead, it is more like an unpredictable season of tropical storms that can be whipped into a tempest out at sea before crashing onto land, disabling everything in its path, without any warning."
October 20, 2021
Thank you to Netgalley and Amazon Publishers for this uncorrected proof for me to read, review and comment.
This is a beautiful and emotional read. It will have a special place in the hearts of parents who have experienced the pain and grief at the death of a child.
The read follows two time zones, that of Nell in the present with aging parents, mother Annie now with dementia and father Bill ill in hospital. It's during a visit to see him that he quietly makes a strange remark to her which sets about gradual wheels of discovery in motion for Nell.
The past revolves around the young wife and mother Annie, in a normal village environment indicative of so many everyday people. Annie's life is wrapped up in her family and Bill, a furniture maker of ordinary standards. Both are not risk takers, with Europe so close to their shores only one trip has ever been made.
An unexpected pregnancy occurs for which Annie has mixed feelings, insecurities about a new baby in the house, her two daughters Clare and Laura are now of an age that they are pretty independant, going to school, friends and activities for which she simply has to shuffle them around. However this pregnancy has thrown her a curve ball and at the same time, Bill has put on an assistant, a young woman, Elsa for which adds to Annie's insecurity, why such a young woman? All these insecurities of course fall away with the new baby at home, a son, Danny.
Annie's life changes with this new baby boy, she is revitalised, he becomes the centre of her life. The baby smell is so intoxicating, the clothes and linen all become heavy with baby scent which forms part of the bonding for mother and child. One morning Annie wakes to find that she has overslept, anxious that Danny hasn't woken for a feed she goes to check on him. An ambulance is called and he is rushed to the hospital.
From here on Annie's world falls apart, her grief is beyond redemption, so deep, she leaves her normal world. Unable to function, she only moves from her bedroom to that of the nursery when she is alone in the house and retreats there to spend her day with the scent of her baby still there.
Back in the present Bill dies leaving his daughters to arrange for the care of Annie. Nell, much younger than her two sisters, has a difficult relationship with them. She is the only one to have gone to university and with her work has needed to move away. While she has tried to assist her ageing parents, most of the responsibility has fallen to Clare and Laura for which there is resentment from Clare. Without consulting her the house has been sold and a suitable place for their mother has been found. In the meantime, packing has to be done and for the immediate weekend Nell stays with her mother. During this time, Annie's disjointed memories are revealed and without much sense, fragments being voiced. Nell discovers a large amount of newspaper cuttings and photo albums but unlike the photos of her older sisters there are none of her as a baby.
The past, Annie's life does not change even with Bill suggesting adoption, she is adamant, she couldn't love another person's baby. Finally she does fall pregnant again. There are issues with the birth of this baby girl and the stay in hospital is longer than normal. Annie once again finds herself on an emotional precipice, she denies the baby given to her to feed, adamant it's the wrong baby. Checks are made again and again. There hasn't been any mix up with the baby wristbands. The baby girl, Nell is brought home and soon life returns to a sort of normal but Annie becomes overly protective of Nell and even objects to her going to the workshop to be with her father, Nell finds a real friend in Elsa, the young assistant.
The present, Nell, while in the midst of packing discovers details of Danny, a child she never knew existed. Her question is why was he never mentioned and why was it kept as a secret from her. Elsa is the only person she feels comfortable asking, who was Danny? From here on Nell's life becomes a journey of discovery.
This is a beautiful and emotional read. It will have a special place in the hearts of parents who have experienced the pain and grief at the death of a child.
The read follows two time zones, that of Nell in the present with aging parents, mother Annie now with dementia and father Bill ill in hospital. It's during a visit to see him that he quietly makes a strange remark to her which sets about gradual wheels of discovery in motion for Nell.
The past revolves around the young wife and mother Annie, in a normal village environment indicative of so many everyday people. Annie's life is wrapped up in her family and Bill, a furniture maker of ordinary standards. Both are not risk takers, with Europe so close to their shores only one trip has ever been made.
An unexpected pregnancy occurs for which Annie has mixed feelings, insecurities about a new baby in the house, her two daughters Clare and Laura are now of an age that they are pretty independant, going to school, friends and activities for which she simply has to shuffle them around. However this pregnancy has thrown her a curve ball and at the same time, Bill has put on an assistant, a young woman, Elsa for which adds to Annie's insecurity, why such a young woman? All these insecurities of course fall away with the new baby at home, a son, Danny.
Annie's life changes with this new baby boy, she is revitalised, he becomes the centre of her life. The baby smell is so intoxicating, the clothes and linen all become heavy with baby scent which forms part of the bonding for mother and child. One morning Annie wakes to find that she has overslept, anxious that Danny hasn't woken for a feed she goes to check on him. An ambulance is called and he is rushed to the hospital.
From here on Annie's world falls apart, her grief is beyond redemption, so deep, she leaves her normal world. Unable to function, she only moves from her bedroom to that of the nursery when she is alone in the house and retreats there to spend her day with the scent of her baby still there.
Back in the present Bill dies leaving his daughters to arrange for the care of Annie. Nell, much younger than her two sisters, has a difficult relationship with them. She is the only one to have gone to university and with her work has needed to move away. While she has tried to assist her ageing parents, most of the responsibility has fallen to Clare and Laura for which there is resentment from Clare. Without consulting her the house has been sold and a suitable place for their mother has been found. In the meantime, packing has to be done and for the immediate weekend Nell stays with her mother. During this time, Annie's disjointed memories are revealed and without much sense, fragments being voiced. Nell discovers a large amount of newspaper cuttings and photo albums but unlike the photos of her older sisters there are none of her as a baby.
The past, Annie's life does not change even with Bill suggesting adoption, she is adamant, she couldn't love another person's baby. Finally she does fall pregnant again. There are issues with the birth of this baby girl and the stay in hospital is longer than normal. Annie once again finds herself on an emotional precipice, she denies the baby given to her to feed, adamant it's the wrong baby. Checks are made again and again. There hasn't been any mix up with the baby wristbands. The baby girl, Nell is brought home and soon life returns to a sort of normal but Annie becomes overly protective of Nell and even objects to her going to the workshop to be with her father, Nell finds a real friend in Elsa, the young assistant.
The present, Nell, while in the midst of packing discovers details of Danny, a child she never knew existed. Her question is why was he never mentioned and why was it kept as a secret from her. Elsa is the only person she feels comfortable asking, who was Danny? From here on Nell's life becomes a journey of discovery.
December 1, 2021
My Review
I totally skimmed through ninety per cent of this book. The plot was interesting. I think it would have been a very good short story. But, as a novel, it was much too long, … filled with boring, repetitive, detailed descriptions.
I totally skimmed through ninety per cent of this book. The plot was interesting. I think it would have been a very good short story. But, as a novel, it was much too long, … filled with boring, repetitive, detailed descriptions.
November 9, 2021
4.5★s
“You need to know that I’ve always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.”
The Impossible Truths of Love is the third novel by British TV and film producer, journalist and author, Hannah Beckerman. The last thing that her father said to her before he died has Nell Hardy puzzled. Asking her grieving mother, recently diagnosed with dementia, is unlikely to be fruitful, while getting past the resentment her older sisters bear her is a challenge. Might her father’s business partner, Elsa know something?
As she spends a weekend back in her hometown helping to pack up their parents’ house so her mother can go to a care facility, she comes across certain items: a folder of newspaper clippings about babies and a leaflet on adoption, that cause her to recall snippets of overheard conversations between her parents. In addition, her mother occasionally makes cryptic comments without explanation. She begins to wonder about her past, to ask questions…
Thirty-eight years earlier, Annie Hardy gave birth a little late in life to her third child, a boy, and she and Bill were overjoyed. Until, tragically, they no longer were. Annie was hit hard, and was unable to cope; it took quite some time for her to recover. Then life promised more joy: dare she trust it would stay? Could she survive the traumas coming her way? What was the right choice in the impossible dilemma they faced?
Beckerman touches on topical and age-old themes in this dual timeline story of lies and secrets and agonising discoveries. Her depiction of grief and depression feels authentic, and the attitude of Nell’s sisters will resonate with those who find themselves in the default carer role for elderly, frail or demented parents by virtue of proximity. Fans of Kelly Rimmer’s novels will likely enjoy this one. A moving and thought-provoking read.
This unbiased review is from an uncorrected proof copy provided by NetGalley and Amazon Publishing UK.
“You need to know that I’ve always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.”
The Impossible Truths of Love is the third novel by British TV and film producer, journalist and author, Hannah Beckerman. The last thing that her father said to her before he died has Nell Hardy puzzled. Asking her grieving mother, recently diagnosed with dementia, is unlikely to be fruitful, while getting past the resentment her older sisters bear her is a challenge. Might her father’s business partner, Elsa know something?
As she spends a weekend back in her hometown helping to pack up their parents’ house so her mother can go to a care facility, she comes across certain items: a folder of newspaper clippings about babies and a leaflet on adoption, that cause her to recall snippets of overheard conversations between her parents. In addition, her mother occasionally makes cryptic comments without explanation. She begins to wonder about her past, to ask questions…
Thirty-eight years earlier, Annie Hardy gave birth a little late in life to her third child, a boy, and she and Bill were overjoyed. Until, tragically, they no longer were. Annie was hit hard, and was unable to cope; it took quite some time for her to recover. Then life promised more joy: dare she trust it would stay? Could she survive the traumas coming her way? What was the right choice in the impossible dilemma they faced?
Beckerman touches on topical and age-old themes in this dual timeline story of lies and secrets and agonising discoveries. Her depiction of grief and depression feels authentic, and the attitude of Nell’s sisters will resonate with those who find themselves in the default carer role for elderly, frail or demented parents by virtue of proximity. Fans of Kelly Rimmer’s novels will likely enjoy this one. A moving and thought-provoking read.
This unbiased review is from an uncorrected proof copy provided by NetGalley and Amazon Publishing UK.
October 13, 2021
Book Reviewed on www.whisperingstories.com
The Impossible Truths of Love is an emotional, tender, yet vitally important story about life, love, and family.
Nell, the youngest by quite some years of three siblings is at her father Bill’s bedside in the hospital where he is dying. One night before he goes to sleep he leaves these parting words to her ‘You need to know that I’ve always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.’ She is flummoxed but decides she will find out what he means another day, sadly he dies before she gets the chance to ask him.
As her mother Annie’s health deteriorates, she has dementia, Nell tries to make sense of her father’s words, but with just a few cryptic messages from her mother she decides to go looking for answers via other means, but can she piece together what her father meant?
Told from two POVs and in two time periods, The Impossible Truths of Love will have you reaching for the tissues more than once. The book is set in the ‘now’ with Nell and ‘then’ with her mother Annie, beginning 35 years ago when she and Bill were newly married.
Annie’s story will pull at your heartstrings as she goes through one trauma after another and cracks begin to show in the couple’s marriage. The author takes you back to the 1980s with such clarity that you feel like you are there. You will feel every emotion and have pure empathy for the characters.
At the beginning, I felt like the book was mirroring my life. I’m one of three siblings, all girls. There is a big age gap between me and my sisters. My parents were older by the time they had me and I have been that daughter sat at my father’s bedside in hospital whilst he died from cancer. So I had a connection to Nell. I could understand her need to find out the truth, no matter how hard and sad it might possibly make her.
The Impossible Truths of Love is a story you can’t rush through. It is a moving tale that shows you that love comes in all manner of ways and is compassionately and beautifully written.
The Impossible Truths of Love is an emotional, tender, yet vitally important story about life, love, and family.
Nell, the youngest by quite some years of three siblings is at her father Bill’s bedside in the hospital where he is dying. One night before he goes to sleep he leaves these parting words to her ‘You need to know that I’ve always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.’ She is flummoxed but decides she will find out what he means another day, sadly he dies before she gets the chance to ask him.
As her mother Annie’s health deteriorates, she has dementia, Nell tries to make sense of her father’s words, but with just a few cryptic messages from her mother she decides to go looking for answers via other means, but can she piece together what her father meant?
Told from two POVs and in two time periods, The Impossible Truths of Love will have you reaching for the tissues more than once. The book is set in the ‘now’ with Nell and ‘then’ with her mother Annie, beginning 35 years ago when she and Bill were newly married.
Annie’s story will pull at your heartstrings as she goes through one trauma after another and cracks begin to show in the couple’s marriage. The author takes you back to the 1980s with such clarity that you feel like you are there. You will feel every emotion and have pure empathy for the characters.
At the beginning, I felt like the book was mirroring my life. I’m one of three siblings, all girls. There is a big age gap between me and my sisters. My parents were older by the time they had me and I have been that daughter sat at my father’s bedside in hospital whilst he died from cancer. So I had a connection to Nell. I could understand her need to find out the truth, no matter how hard and sad it might possibly make her.
The Impossible Truths of Love is a story you can’t rush through. It is a moving tale that shows you that love comes in all manner of ways and is compassionately and beautifully written.
September 12, 2021
Having read one of Hannah Beckerman's previous novels, I was excited to dive into her newest release, The Impossible Truths of Love, knowing it would be good.
However, I didn't realise it would be that good, that I would devour it in one sitting!
Nell's father whispers a statement to her, on his deathbed that stays with her. Unfortunately, he is unable to ever clarify the meaning.
She watches her mothers mental health deteriorate, due to dementia, and the odd little comments she makes, cause Nell to stop and think.
I am not sure exactly how to word this review, without giving away the story too much, but suffice to say, my reader detective antennae pricked up, as soon as I realised there was something hidden, and there were several ideas running through my mind, as to what the outcome would be. Some were close, some not so close, but the twists - WOW!
All I can say is that there is always right and wrong in any decision we make.
Sometimes love is the reason we make those decisions. Can any decision made with parental love in mind, ever be wrong? Of course, they could, and this novel explores that in a way that tugs at the reader's heartstrings.
Nell's discoveries and trauma are told in a parallel storyline to her mother Alice's, in a Then and Now format of chapters. Each layer is unwrapped and reveals another piece to the jigsaw puzzle of Nell's life, rather like an elaborate Pass The Parcel.
I truly loved this book, and it will be one that stays with me for a long while. Stunning read!
Thanks to FMCM Associates and Lake Union Publishing for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
However, I didn't realise it would be that good, that I would devour it in one sitting!
Nell's father whispers a statement to her, on his deathbed that stays with her. Unfortunately, he is unable to ever clarify the meaning.
She watches her mothers mental health deteriorate, due to dementia, and the odd little comments she makes, cause Nell to stop and think.
I am not sure exactly how to word this review, without giving away the story too much, but suffice to say, my reader detective antennae pricked up, as soon as I realised there was something hidden, and there were several ideas running through my mind, as to what the outcome would be. Some were close, some not so close, but the twists - WOW!
All I can say is that there is always right and wrong in any decision we make.
Sometimes love is the reason we make those decisions. Can any decision made with parental love in mind, ever be wrong? Of course, they could, and this novel explores that in a way that tugs at the reader's heartstrings.
Nell's discoveries and trauma are told in a parallel storyline to her mother Alice's, in a Then and Now format of chapters. Each layer is unwrapped and reveals another piece to the jigsaw puzzle of Nell's life, rather like an elaborate Pass The Parcel.
I truly loved this book, and it will be one that stays with me for a long while. Stunning read!
Thanks to FMCM Associates and Lake Union Publishing for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
May 8, 2025
*Heartbreaking*
**4.5 Stars**
This was an incredibly absorbing read. It was filled with tension, unspeakable heartbreak, and a choice that would eventually have devastating consequences. I will try my best not to spoil the outcome.
We follow Nell, the youngest of three daughters of Annie and Bill. Nell has always been advanced in her age and ended up as an academic.
As she grew up, Nell was always the favourite, which caused conflict between her eldest sisters Clare and Laura.
The story is told in two timelines: ‘Then’ in the past and ‘Now’ in the present. We witness Annie and Bill’s journey as they start their family and experience the profound grief of losing a child. We see Annie’s desperation for another child to heal her pain, and Nell’s arrival later with a question mark. A mother’s instinct is not always listened to, and Annie finds that she is a lone voice. That decision will have lasting consequences.
Nell has always felt tension in her relationship with her sisters, especially the eldest Clare.
In the present day, Nell is by her father Bill’s side as he receives palliative care treatment. He then makes a startling confession, taking Nell aback. Sadly, he passes away before Nell can ask more questions, as he was so weak. This confession is huge, and Nell finds herself in an unenviable position, unable to ask her mother as dementia has taken hold of her. All she gets are snippets of secrets that reinforce what her father has said.
Determined to uncover the truth, Nell begins to investigate. She soon realises that if she proceeds and moves forward, she cannot put the lid back on. The truths she is about to face will shock her, especially one that everyone knew except her.
“Grief, she learns, is love’s echo: it is not possible to have one without the other.”
The only thing I would have liked was more time dedicated to the final reveal.
**4.5 Stars**
This was an incredibly absorbing read. It was filled with tension, unspeakable heartbreak, and a choice that would eventually have devastating consequences. I will try my best not to spoil the outcome.
We follow Nell, the youngest of three daughters of Annie and Bill. Nell has always been advanced in her age and ended up as an academic.
As she grew up, Nell was always the favourite, which caused conflict between her eldest sisters Clare and Laura.
The story is told in two timelines: ‘Then’ in the past and ‘Now’ in the present. We witness Annie and Bill’s journey as they start their family and experience the profound grief of losing a child. We see Annie’s desperation for another child to heal her pain, and Nell’s arrival later with a question mark. A mother’s instinct is not always listened to, and Annie finds that she is a lone voice. That decision will have lasting consequences.
Nell has always felt tension in her relationship with her sisters, especially the eldest Clare.
In the present day, Nell is by her father Bill’s side as he receives palliative care treatment. He then makes a startling confession, taking Nell aback. Sadly, he passes away before Nell can ask more questions, as he was so weak. This confession is huge, and Nell finds herself in an unenviable position, unable to ask her mother as dementia has taken hold of her. All she gets are snippets of secrets that reinforce what her father has said.
Determined to uncover the truth, Nell begins to investigate. She soon realises that if she proceeds and moves forward, she cannot put the lid back on. The truths she is about to face will shock her, especially one that everyone knew except her.
“Grief, she learns, is love’s echo: it is not possible to have one without the other.”
The only thing I would have liked was more time dedicated to the final reveal.
December 15, 2021
Sometimes a novel will surprise me with the force of it’s emotional hold. The Impossible Truths of Love is one such novel and I have to say, it stirred up a lot of mixed emotions and has left its mark upon me in a way that now has me waving it around as a must read.
Grief and trauma bleed into a situation where Annie is made to feel as though she is an unreliable narrator of her own life by those who love her and professionals who should know better. The situation as outlined within this story gives credit to the argument that once a person has been diagnosed with a mental illness, this will forever weigh in against them, discrediting them and dismissing their concerns, even long after they have been pronounced well. The way in which Annie was treated after the birth of her fourth child was shameful, even more so on account of its plausibility. I have to say, her husband’s lack of faith in her and his eagerness to just go along with the nurses and doctors instead of stopping and listening to his wife was worse even than the dismissal and patronisation she faced from the medical staff. I was angry at him for his assistance in the creation of a situation that could have entirely been avoided. I can see why things were never really the same between them thereafter.
‘Grief, she is learning, is love’s echo: it is not possible to have one without the other.’
This whole family was broken. Nell was treated very badly by her eldest sister Clare, who even when I (in hindsight) considered the family dynamics and what was going on at key times throughout Clare’s upbringing, I still found her to be a thoroughly unlikeable and entirely unpleasant woman. Laura, the middle sister, was a lot more grounded and easier to like, which just goes to show that two people can have the same unsettled upbringing but turn out entirely different in terms of the effect it has on them. I liked Nell as a character, enjoyed travelling this journey with her, and I really sympathised with what she uncovered about her own history and the decisions she was consequently faced with as a result. It’s not something anyone would ever dream of having to deal with and consequently, it’s impossible to really know how you would handle such a situation yourself if ever faced with it.
The Impossible Truths of Love is one I highly recommend to those who enjoy reading thought provoking novels that really dig deep into their themes. It’s also a great one for showcasing characters who act in ways that we might deem wrong while still totally understanding why they have done so. This was a terrific novel, with its many shades of grey, and I will certainly be reading more from this author.
Thanks to the publisher for the review copy.
Grief and trauma bleed into a situation where Annie is made to feel as though she is an unreliable narrator of her own life by those who love her and professionals who should know better. The situation as outlined within this story gives credit to the argument that once a person has been diagnosed with a mental illness, this will forever weigh in against them, discrediting them and dismissing their concerns, even long after they have been pronounced well. The way in which Annie was treated after the birth of her fourth child was shameful, even more so on account of its plausibility. I have to say, her husband’s lack of faith in her and his eagerness to just go along with the nurses and doctors instead of stopping and listening to his wife was worse even than the dismissal and patronisation she faced from the medical staff. I was angry at him for his assistance in the creation of a situation that could have entirely been avoided. I can see why things were never really the same between them thereafter.
‘Grief, she is learning, is love’s echo: it is not possible to have one without the other.’
This whole family was broken. Nell was treated very badly by her eldest sister Clare, who even when I (in hindsight) considered the family dynamics and what was going on at key times throughout Clare’s upbringing, I still found her to be a thoroughly unlikeable and entirely unpleasant woman. Laura, the middle sister, was a lot more grounded and easier to like, which just goes to show that two people can have the same unsettled upbringing but turn out entirely different in terms of the effect it has on them. I liked Nell as a character, enjoyed travelling this journey with her, and I really sympathised with what she uncovered about her own history and the decisions she was consequently faced with as a result. It’s not something anyone would ever dream of having to deal with and consequently, it’s impossible to really know how you would handle such a situation yourself if ever faced with it.
The Impossible Truths of Love is one I highly recommend to those who enjoy reading thought provoking novels that really dig deep into their themes. It’s also a great one for showcasing characters who act in ways that we might deem wrong while still totally understanding why they have done so. This was a terrific novel, with its many shades of grey, and I will certainly be reading more from this author.
Thanks to the publisher for the review copy.
October 11, 2021
‘I want you to know that I have always loved you.’
On his deathbed, Nell Hardy’s father Bill makes a mysterious declaration to his youngest daughter Nell. He says:
‘I want you to know that I’ve always loved you […] You need to know that I’ve always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.’
Shortly after, before Nell has an opportunity to ask him what he means, Bill dies. Perhaps her mother Annie knows, but she has recently been diagnosed with dementia and communicating with her is challenging.
The story shifts between the present, where Annie is coming to terms with her father’s death and her mother’s dementia, and the past where Annie is overwhelmed by a series of traumatic events. In the present, Annie and her older sisters Clare and Laura are packing, preparing their family home for sale as Annie will move into care. And Nell wonders about what her father said and what it could mean. The three sisters are not close: Nell is 11 years younger than Clare, and 7 years younger than Laura. Nell has had opportunities that her sisters have not, and Clare in particular seems to resent this.
In the past we meet Annie and Bill as a young married couple. Clare and Laura are young, and Annie wants to have another child. What follows is a series of tragedies and secrets, devastating events which ripple through many lives into the present.
‘Grief, she is learning, is love’s echo: it is not possible to have one without the other.’
I found this story moving and wondered how I would deal in a similar situation. I admired Bill’s resilience, felt sad for Annie, and wondered where the truth would lead Nell.
Recommended.
Note: My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
On his deathbed, Nell Hardy’s father Bill makes a mysterious declaration to his youngest daughter Nell. He says:
‘I want you to know that I’ve always loved you […] You need to know that I’ve always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.’
Shortly after, before Nell has an opportunity to ask him what he means, Bill dies. Perhaps her mother Annie knows, but she has recently been diagnosed with dementia and communicating with her is challenging.
The story shifts between the present, where Annie is coming to terms with her father’s death and her mother’s dementia, and the past where Annie is overwhelmed by a series of traumatic events. In the present, Annie and her older sisters Clare and Laura are packing, preparing their family home for sale as Annie will move into care. And Nell wonders about what her father said and what it could mean. The three sisters are not close: Nell is 11 years younger than Clare, and 7 years younger than Laura. Nell has had opportunities that her sisters have not, and Clare in particular seems to resent this.
In the past we meet Annie and Bill as a young married couple. Clare and Laura are young, and Annie wants to have another child. What follows is a series of tragedies and secrets, devastating events which ripple through many lives into the present.
‘Grief, she is learning, is love’s echo: it is not possible to have one without the other.’
I found this story moving and wondered how I would deal in a similar situation. I admired Bill’s resilience, felt sad for Annie, and wondered where the truth would lead Nell.
Recommended.
Note: My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
May 5, 2022
Judging by the average rating of this book, I'm clearly in the minority, but I truly did not enjoy this reading experience.
• For one, I violently disliked Annie, and since half the story is told from her perspective, I had a lot of teeth-gritting to go through. The characterization of others is similarly lacking: Claire, the eldest sister, sounds cartoonishly angry at all times, Laura, the middle sister, is virtually transparent, Josh, the boyfriend, is nearly useless, etc.
• Second, this book is much longer than it needs to be. You could cut a good third and lose absolutely nothing of the story. After the first hundred pages or so, the plot stops moving and the two main characters' inner monologues start rambling endlessly, trying to delay the 'big revelation'.
• Third, I found myself rolling my eyes and sighing at several points through my reading, which is never a good sign.
I'm not saying you shouldn't pick it up. Clearly, others have had a great time with it. But if you start and don't enjoy it, there's no need to push on, it does not get better by the end.
• For one, I violently disliked Annie, and since half the story is told from her perspective, I had a lot of teeth-gritting to go through. The characterization of others is similarly lacking: Claire, the eldest sister, sounds cartoonishly angry at all times, Laura, the middle sister, is virtually transparent, Josh, the boyfriend, is nearly useless, etc.
• Second, this book is much longer than it needs to be. You could cut a good third and lose absolutely nothing of the story. After the first hundred pages or so, the plot stops moving and the two main characters' inner monologues start rambling endlessly, trying to delay the 'big revelation'.
• Third, I found myself rolling my eyes and sighing at several points through my reading, which is never a good sign.
I'm not saying you shouldn't pick it up. Clearly, others have had a great time with it. But if you start and don't enjoy it, there's no need to push on, it does not get better by the end.
March 8, 2022
I really enjoyed this book once I got into it. All the ups and downs of family drama--the secrets we keep in order to protect the ones we love. Really makes me wonder how I would react in similar circumstances. I enjoyed the ending, though I still had questions about certain choices and dynamics within the family. Still really appreciated my time with these characters, though.
October 24, 2021
{Thank you to Amazon Publishing for my gifted review copies}
I love a good family drama that uncovers family secrets - and this one ended up being the perfect weekend read. It had enough substance yet also kept me turning the pages to learn more.
Told through two points of view, Nell in the present day and her mother, 35 years before- Author Hannah Beckerman shines at unfolding the complexities of Nell's childhood. {I do want to include a content warning for infant loss and postpartum depression as it does include these heavier topics...}
I really enjoyed Hannah Beckerman's last novel, If Only I Could Tell You, and I loved this one even more! I look forward to reading what Beckerman comes out with next and I highly recommend adding this one to your fall reading list.
I love a good family drama that uncovers family secrets - and this one ended up being the perfect weekend read. It had enough substance yet also kept me turning the pages to learn more.
Told through two points of view, Nell in the present day and her mother, 35 years before- Author Hannah Beckerman shines at unfolding the complexities of Nell's childhood. {I do want to include a content warning for infant loss and postpartum depression as it does include these heavier topics...}
I really enjoyed Hannah Beckerman's last novel, If Only I Could Tell You, and I loved this one even more! I look forward to reading what Beckerman comes out with next and I highly recommend adding this one to your fall reading list.
March 22, 2024
one of the best books I’ve read in a long time! A slow mystery with so much emotion
December 21, 2022
Thanks to NetGalley for the preview of this book.
First, HARD warning. No where in the book description does this book indicate it is about loss, family members death, and dealing with grief. If you have recently experienced such a loss, or the loss of a child, this could be a very difficult book to read- it hits very close to home, and hits hard. I was unprepared.
Normally this is the type of book I really enjoy. Family saga, relationships, hidden secrets. It started off very good (with the exception of the hard gut punch from loss) and moving right along. But about half way through, the writer begins to unravel. In the interest of keeping suspense, she gets very wordy and begins talking in circles. I was getting impatient and thinking "enough already". A few of the story lines are a bit unrealistic in their pacing (pieces come together too conveniently), and one of the characters is unnecessarily mean. As the book moves on, she begins to repeat herself, and gets a bit preachy in the "lessons learned" section. By the last 10% I just wanted the book to be over. I get it, you've drilled the difficulties home! It is too bad, because with a little bit of editing, a bit of cutting, this book could have been very good all the way through. The book is emotional and exciting, but by the end it looses the rhythm.
I would try another book by this author, but I hope she would be a bit more practiced and brush it up a bit before publishing.
First, HARD warning. No where in the book description does this book indicate it is about loss, family members death, and dealing with grief. If you have recently experienced such a loss, or the loss of a child, this could be a very difficult book to read- it hits very close to home, and hits hard. I was unprepared.
Normally this is the type of book I really enjoy. Family saga, relationships, hidden secrets. It started off very good (with the exception of the hard gut punch from loss) and moving right along. But about half way through, the writer begins to unravel. In the interest of keeping suspense, she gets very wordy and begins talking in circles. I was getting impatient and thinking "enough already". A few of the story lines are a bit unrealistic in their pacing (pieces come together too conveniently), and one of the characters is unnecessarily mean. As the book moves on, she begins to repeat herself, and gets a bit preachy in the "lessons learned" section. By the last 10% I just wanted the book to be over. I get it, you've drilled the difficulties home! It is too bad, because with a little bit of editing, a bit of cutting, this book could have been very good all the way through. The book is emotional and exciting, but by the end it looses the rhythm.
I would try another book by this author, but I hope she would be a bit more practiced and brush it up a bit before publishing.
October 7, 2021
Nell is the youngest of three sisters, but she has never felt that she fitted in with her family and her relationship with her sisters is strained. Still, when her mother Annie develops dementia and her father Bill is dying, Nell steps up to help care for them.
On his deathbed, Bill tells Nell how much he loves her, but Nell is bewildered when he also says she was never really his to love. Then, as her mother begins to live more and more in the past, she hints cryptically at complex secrets that the couple have buried for decades.
The reader is then whisked back in time to the 1980s, when Annie and Bill started trying for a family. their first pregnancy ends in devastating heartbreak. And, when Annie finally gives birth, she begins to fear a terrible mistake has been made.
Nell needs to find out exactly what happened to her parents - and what it means for her future.
Hannah Beckerman tackles some of the most traumatic events a couple can face with a breathtaking sensitivity and insight and her compassion for her characters shines through in beautiful prose.
This powerful noel is emotionally challenging, but also a rich and deeply moving read.
On his deathbed, Bill tells Nell how much he loves her, but Nell is bewildered when he also says she was never really his to love. Then, as her mother begins to live more and more in the past, she hints cryptically at complex secrets that the couple have buried for decades.
The reader is then whisked back in time to the 1980s, when Annie and Bill started trying for a family. their first pregnancy ends in devastating heartbreak. And, when Annie finally gives birth, she begins to fear a terrible mistake has been made.
Nell needs to find out exactly what happened to her parents - and what it means for her future.
Hannah Beckerman tackles some of the most traumatic events a couple can face with a breathtaking sensitivity and insight and her compassion for her characters shines through in beautiful prose.
This powerful noel is emotionally challenging, but also a rich and deeply moving read.
January 17, 2023
I am astonished that this book has such high ratings. Both the main characters, Annie and Nell, from whom the book is told through switched perspectives, are utterly flat. Annie, the “strong” mother character, is an immature woman who makes a lot of very questionable choices. You don’t feel sympathetic towards her for most of the book because she is so unlikable. The daughter, Nell, is just another annoying mystery book character who says and does unintelligent things, which is the author’s attempt to keep the “mystery” going, even though Nell as a character is supposed to be very smart. The details of this book are sloppy. Overall, the plot drags on and on with long descriptions of the characters’ internal conflicts that could be summed up in a single line. The rest of the characters in the book are flat and cliche, the concerned boyfriend who never actually makes an appearance other than via text, the mean older sister who is laughably resentful… I kept waiting for this book to turn into an interesting read, and would have not finished it had I known what a disappointment it would be. Don’t waste your time on this book!
October 7, 2021
I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to read The Impossible Truths of Love; my Dad died of cancer in April and it should have been his birthday this month. My feelings are still raw and reading about Nell's emotions in the immediate aftermath of her father, Bill's passing brought me to tears. However, I have always said that the books I appreciate most are the ones that make me feel something and the acute honesty of Hannah Beckerman's writing compelled me to keep turning the pages.
I'm so glad I decided to continue because this is a beautiful, intensely moving exploration of grief and loss. I'm mindful not to give too much away about the plot here but equally I think it's only right to mention that the chapters are divided between past and present and both feature heartrending losses. Those who have grieved the death of a parent or child should know that while the subject matter is handled with the utmost sensitivity and empathy, it is also harrowingly truthful.
Nell is confused by her father's strange declaration of love to her but he dies before she is able to make sense of what he meant. She can't question her mother, Annie either because her worsening dementia means her grasp on reality is slipping by the day. It's a heartbreaking situation to be in, made more difficult by her rather isolated role within her family. The youngest of three sisters, she is the only one to have moved out of the area and consequently hasn't been involved in the daily care of their parents. It becomes clear that both Claire and Laura harbour some resentment, with Claire being particularly sharp towards her. It would be easy to condemn the older sister but as the novel progresses, readers begin to understand how the events of the past have shaped them all.
The alternating chapters, entitled Now and Then, slowly peel away the layers of secrets and lies but this isn't a book filled with dramatic revelations; it's a more reflective examination of what a family is and how the truth isn't always as straightforward as right and wrong. The parts of the book set in the past follow Annie and Bill as they face an unbearable tragedy followed - they believe - by an unexpected chance to look forward with hope. However, the later chapters suggest that their cautious optimism may have been short-lived, although what exactly occurs isn't revealed until both Nell and the reader are moved to imagine various possible scenarios.
Annie's overwhelming sense of grief is almost palpable and it also reveals the sad legacy of how society and particularly the medical profession may have been too quick to dismiss the protestations of the traumatised - especially women - as delusional, but while Annie's instincts are silenced, she is arguably the strongest character in the story, despite making decisions which ultimately alter the course of all their lives. However, despite the resulting sibling rivalry, bitter recriminations and terrible guilt, what most shines through this book is that even at its most complicated, love is an irresistible force.
As Nell tries to make sense of her own memories even as Annie's failing mind confuses what is real now and what occurred back then, Hannah Beckerman's compassionate, perceptive writing is relatably authentic throughout. The complex family dynamics allows for a poignant and insightful consideration of the apparent contradictions of life; how it's possible to belong and yet feel different, to question love but to know it's there, to feel let down but still protected. It's an affecting, powerful story about betrayal and forgiveness, and ultimately it's about that most impossible truth of love which means that experiencing it means accepting that hurt and pain are inevitable.
I loved The Impossible Truths of Love, it is such a beautifully written novel and as every reader will have their own stories of love and loss, I have no doubt that it will be a book which will touch others as deeply as it did me.
I'm so glad I decided to continue because this is a beautiful, intensely moving exploration of grief and loss. I'm mindful not to give too much away about the plot here but equally I think it's only right to mention that the chapters are divided between past and present and both feature heartrending losses. Those who have grieved the death of a parent or child should know that while the subject matter is handled with the utmost sensitivity and empathy, it is also harrowingly truthful.
Nell is confused by her father's strange declaration of love to her but he dies before she is able to make sense of what he meant. She can't question her mother, Annie either because her worsening dementia means her grasp on reality is slipping by the day. It's a heartbreaking situation to be in, made more difficult by her rather isolated role within her family. The youngest of three sisters, she is the only one to have moved out of the area and consequently hasn't been involved in the daily care of their parents. It becomes clear that both Claire and Laura harbour some resentment, with Claire being particularly sharp towards her. It would be easy to condemn the older sister but as the novel progresses, readers begin to understand how the events of the past have shaped them all.
The alternating chapters, entitled Now and Then, slowly peel away the layers of secrets and lies but this isn't a book filled with dramatic revelations; it's a more reflective examination of what a family is and how the truth isn't always as straightforward as right and wrong. The parts of the book set in the past follow Annie and Bill as they face an unbearable tragedy followed - they believe - by an unexpected chance to look forward with hope. However, the later chapters suggest that their cautious optimism may have been short-lived, although what exactly occurs isn't revealed until both Nell and the reader are moved to imagine various possible scenarios.
Annie's overwhelming sense of grief is almost palpable and it also reveals the sad legacy of how society and particularly the medical profession may have been too quick to dismiss the protestations of the traumatised - especially women - as delusional, but while Annie's instincts are silenced, she is arguably the strongest character in the story, despite making decisions which ultimately alter the course of all their lives. However, despite the resulting sibling rivalry, bitter recriminations and terrible guilt, what most shines through this book is that even at its most complicated, love is an irresistible force.
As Nell tries to make sense of her own memories even as Annie's failing mind confuses what is real now and what occurred back then, Hannah Beckerman's compassionate, perceptive writing is relatably authentic throughout. The complex family dynamics allows for a poignant and insightful consideration of the apparent contradictions of life; how it's possible to belong and yet feel different, to question love but to know it's there, to feel let down but still protected. It's an affecting, powerful story about betrayal and forgiveness, and ultimately it's about that most impossible truth of love which means that experiencing it means accepting that hurt and pain are inevitable.
I loved The Impossible Truths of Love, it is such a beautifully written novel and as every reader will have their own stories of love and loss, I have no doubt that it will be a book which will touch others as deeply as it did me.
September 24, 2021
The Impossible Truths of Love by Hannah Beckerman will be released October 5th with Lake Union Publishing and is described as ‘a gripping, emotionally charged novel…a moving story about identity, secrets, and what it really means to feel that you’re one of the family.’ This is a book that I feel will resonate with many readers for various reasons, but especially with those who have siblings and/or elderly parents.
Nell is the youngest in her family with two older sisters, Clare and Laura. Of the three, Nell was the academic child, always that bit more advanced for her years. Her sisters were much older than her and this gap in age very much left Nell on the outside growing up.
‘So many times as a child, Nell experienced a feeling of being on the outside looking in, like a little girl at a sweet shop, face pressed to the glass, watching Clare and Laura inside selecting treats from oversized jars, knowing she was not permitted to go in and join them but wondering – hoping – whether one day there would come a time that she was.’
Nell studied Psychological Sciences at Oxford University and now, seventeen years later, is an Associate Professor in stem cell therapies. She is the only member of the family to move away with regular visits home but, according to her sisters, Nell never does enough. Clare and Laura have led very different lives to Nell, both holding a very sad underlying grudge against Nell that she has felt all her life. Clare, in particular, is never short of a snide remark, quick to anger with Nell, and to fire off accusations.
Now their Mum, Annie, has recently been diagnosed with dementia and their Dad, Bill, is in palliative care with only days left to live. Nell makes the journey home and is shocked to see the decline in her Dad’s condition. She has always had a very close relationship with her Dad. He made the effort to understand her. He accepted her choices and always encouraged her in her journey through life. But now Nell’s time is limited with him and, during their final conversation, he says something unexpected to Nell, hinting at a secret that makes no sense. Nell, confused and upset, has nowhere to turn to to uncover the full meaning of his words. Her mother’s mind is in turmoil as the dementia takes hold and Nell is clearly aware that she will find no answers there. What did her father mean? What is the mystery behind her father’s final words?
Hannah Beckerman takes the reader back thirty-five years to when Annie and Bill were in the earlier days of their marriage. A very traumatic event was to have a huge impact on Annie, one that would affect her for the rest of her life. But this was not to be the only shocking incident in Annie and Bill’s marriage, leaving permanent scars forever etched in their relationship.
The novel alternates between then and now, slowly drip-feeding the reader snippets from the different stages of Bill and Annie’s marriage over the years. Nell investigates into their past herself, speaking to friends of her parents and making some very unexpected discoveries along the way. Her relationship with her sisters continues to be fraught and Nell reverts back to being the younger sister. Although, in her own life, she is now a respected academic, in a good relationship and with her own home, their pass-remarkable habits from old still affect her deeply, with the barbs finding their target every time.
The Impossible Truths of Love is an extremely heartrending story. Full of compassion, Hannah Beckerman, reminds us all of the transience of life and the deep sadness associated with experiencing the decline in health and the loss of a parent. The power of the family dynamic is excellently portrayed highlighting the bitterness that can burrow deep into the heart of a family over the years for various reasons. Secrets, perceived betrayals, familial duty and sibling rivalry are just some of the themes that Hannah Beckerman incorporates into this novel. Most readers will identify with some aspect of the tale adding a genuine layer of authenticity to the whole reading experience. The Impossible Truths of Love is an emotional read, beautifully written and one that will leave its mark on every reader.
Nell is the youngest in her family with two older sisters, Clare and Laura. Of the three, Nell was the academic child, always that bit more advanced for her years. Her sisters were much older than her and this gap in age very much left Nell on the outside growing up.
‘So many times as a child, Nell experienced a feeling of being on the outside looking in, like a little girl at a sweet shop, face pressed to the glass, watching Clare and Laura inside selecting treats from oversized jars, knowing she was not permitted to go in and join them but wondering – hoping – whether one day there would come a time that she was.’
Nell studied Psychological Sciences at Oxford University and now, seventeen years later, is an Associate Professor in stem cell therapies. She is the only member of the family to move away with regular visits home but, according to her sisters, Nell never does enough. Clare and Laura have led very different lives to Nell, both holding a very sad underlying grudge against Nell that she has felt all her life. Clare, in particular, is never short of a snide remark, quick to anger with Nell, and to fire off accusations.
Now their Mum, Annie, has recently been diagnosed with dementia and their Dad, Bill, is in palliative care with only days left to live. Nell makes the journey home and is shocked to see the decline in her Dad’s condition. She has always had a very close relationship with her Dad. He made the effort to understand her. He accepted her choices and always encouraged her in her journey through life. But now Nell’s time is limited with him and, during their final conversation, he says something unexpected to Nell, hinting at a secret that makes no sense. Nell, confused and upset, has nowhere to turn to to uncover the full meaning of his words. Her mother’s mind is in turmoil as the dementia takes hold and Nell is clearly aware that she will find no answers there. What did her father mean? What is the mystery behind her father’s final words?
Hannah Beckerman takes the reader back thirty-five years to when Annie and Bill were in the earlier days of their marriage. A very traumatic event was to have a huge impact on Annie, one that would affect her for the rest of her life. But this was not to be the only shocking incident in Annie and Bill’s marriage, leaving permanent scars forever etched in their relationship.
The novel alternates between then and now, slowly drip-feeding the reader snippets from the different stages of Bill and Annie’s marriage over the years. Nell investigates into their past herself, speaking to friends of her parents and making some very unexpected discoveries along the way. Her relationship with her sisters continues to be fraught and Nell reverts back to being the younger sister. Although, in her own life, she is now a respected academic, in a good relationship and with her own home, their pass-remarkable habits from old still affect her deeply, with the barbs finding their target every time.
The Impossible Truths of Love is an extremely heartrending story. Full of compassion, Hannah Beckerman, reminds us all of the transience of life and the deep sadness associated with experiencing the decline in health and the loss of a parent. The power of the family dynamic is excellently portrayed highlighting the bitterness that can burrow deep into the heart of a family over the years for various reasons. Secrets, perceived betrayals, familial duty and sibling rivalry are just some of the themes that Hannah Beckerman incorporates into this novel. Most readers will identify with some aspect of the tale adding a genuine layer of authenticity to the whole reading experience. The Impossible Truths of Love is an emotional read, beautifully written and one that will leave its mark on every reader.
January 5, 2025
I have a hard time rating this book.
Before I start, there are multiple trigger warnings of infant death, parental death, grief, anxiety, post natal depression, dementia.
All of the above were written with such care, poignancy and the descriptions were very vivid and palpable. This is why i rated it a 3 and not a 2.
The story started off with such promise and had a really interesting family dynamic to it as the mystery of Annie , Nell , Bill and the family as it unravelled.
Then it started to fall apart by the half way mark. To keep the suspense going, we got vague , going round in circle chapters , that became repetitive and frustrating.
Clare, Laura , Elsa and Josh were pointless characters. I mean there was zero reason for Clare ( the sister) to act how she did around Nell and there was no exploration here? Nell seemed a lot younger than she was, there was no communication 😕.
Its such a shame so much missed the mark as it could have been written so differently, without feeling like it was a chore to read.
Before I start, there are multiple trigger warnings of infant death, parental death, grief, anxiety, post natal depression, dementia.
All of the above were written with such care, poignancy and the descriptions were very vivid and palpable. This is why i rated it a 3 and not a 2.
The story started off with such promise and had a really interesting family dynamic to it as the mystery of Annie , Nell , Bill and the family as it unravelled.
Then it started to fall apart by the half way mark. To keep the suspense going, we got vague , going round in circle chapters , that became repetitive and frustrating.
Clare, Laura , Elsa and Josh were pointless characters. I mean there was zero reason for Clare ( the sister) to act how she did around Nell and there was no exploration here? Nell seemed a lot younger than she was, there was no communication 😕.
Its such a shame so much missed the mark as it could have been written so differently, without feeling like it was a chore to read.
October 11, 2021
THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTHS OF LOVE is a story of elderly parents facing rapid decline and their youngest daughter unraveling secrets about her family that she, somehow, failed to notice. At least that’s how the book carries on for much of the story. The characters are well-developed, the setting believable but something is a bit off for this daughter, Nell, notably different from the rest of her family in brains and appearance. This nagging sense of something-not-quite-right increases as the book progresses and for me, changed the nature of the book. It went from fiction to mystery to page-turner. The ending was completely a surprise to me. This was a great story. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley.
April 10, 2023
“The Impossible Truths of Love” by Hannah Beckerman was excellent! Well developed portrayal of love, devotion, loss, hard choices and parent-child bonds. Without giving away the surprises in this great novel, I will say that it continued to improve, each page a new discovery. Thank you NetGalley, the author and publisher for the review copy. All opinions are my own.
January 2, 2022
Such a touchingly sad and emotional story. It was a slow burner but that just doesnt matter when the content is... well... the way it is!!
November 11, 2024
Beautiful writing but laboured the point a tad too much for me. Did not emotionally connect but I think this genre is just not my thing 🤷🏻♀️
October 7, 2021
I really enjoyed reading this book.
Nell is the main character. She has a successful academic career at Oxford. As a child she felt left behind as her sisters were much older, and her parents had her when they were older.
Her dad is very supportive of her. She is renowned for her work in stem cell therapies. Her sisters are resentful that she moved away and are very jealous of her success and freedom. They enjoy making negative comments about her any opportunity they get.
Her dad, Bill, is in palliative care, with only a few days left. He tells her a secret that makes no sense to her. Her mum, Annie, is suffering from dementia. What help can she be?
Nell has to know the truth. We go back 35 years in time. Something tragic has happened to Annie that affects everything.
This is a poignant and intriguing story. It is very well written. I was very taken with it and read it over a short period. I highly recommend this book to others.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Nell is the main character. She has a successful academic career at Oxford. As a child she felt left behind as her sisters were much older, and her parents had her when they were older.
Her dad is very supportive of her. She is renowned for her work in stem cell therapies. Her sisters are resentful that she moved away and are very jealous of her success and freedom. They enjoy making negative comments about her any opportunity they get.
Her dad, Bill, is in palliative care, with only a few days left. He tells her a secret that makes no sense to her. Her mum, Annie, is suffering from dementia. What help can she be?
Nell has to know the truth. We go back 35 years in time. Something tragic has happened to Annie that affects everything.
This is a poignant and intriguing story. It is very well written. I was very taken with it and read it over a short period. I highly recommend this book to others.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 10, 2021
“I want you to know that I’ve always loved you… You need to know that I’ve always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.”
When Nell’s father makes a mysterious deathbed declaration it reignites her long-held feelings of not belonging within her family. Grappling with the death of her father and the slow loss of her mother, Annie, before her eyes from dementia, Nell searches for the truth behind her father’s compassion while also trying to dampen her feelings of being an outsider.
In a second timeline, we go back thirty-five years to when Annie’s world was turned upside down by a series of traumatic events. We follow as she battles to come to terms with them and makes decisions that will have repercussions for everyone in her family. As the two timelines weave together, we watch as Annie’s choices affect Nell in the present day, and how they changed a family forever.
“In her mind the tapestry of her family history begins to unstitch, the fabric loosening at the seams”
Wow. You really do need the tissues for this one! A beautifully written dual timeline novel about love, family, memory, long-held secrets, and self-discovery, this book takes you on an emotional rollercoaster from beginning to end. The author has chosen to explore some of the most traumatic and devastating events that a family can go through in this book such as the loss of a child, dementia, the sudden death of a parent and decades-old family secrets. Just one of these would be enough to turn someone’s world upside down, and this family goes through them all. She writes with insight, compassion and sensitivity, drawing the reader into the heart and minds of the Hardy family so vividly that you feel everything alongside them.
I loved the choice to tell the story in dual timelines and have just two family members as narrators. I think this helped me to feel a deep connection with both Nell and Annie. As the tangled weave of secrets slowly unravelled I felt like I lived it alongside them, breaking my heart as theirs did, shedding tears with them and silently telling them they could get through this. I feel like if other narrators had been involved it would have diluted the emotional impact of Annie and Nell’s stories. Plus, the author still manages to convey the effect of events on the other characters through the lens of the two women.
Powerful, poignant and heart-rending, this hits you right in the heart and soul. A moving and compelling story that I highly recommend.
When Nell’s father makes a mysterious deathbed declaration it reignites her long-held feelings of not belonging within her family. Grappling with the death of her father and the slow loss of her mother, Annie, before her eyes from dementia, Nell searches for the truth behind her father’s compassion while also trying to dampen her feelings of being an outsider.
In a second timeline, we go back thirty-five years to when Annie’s world was turned upside down by a series of traumatic events. We follow as she battles to come to terms with them and makes decisions that will have repercussions for everyone in her family. As the two timelines weave together, we watch as Annie’s choices affect Nell in the present day, and how they changed a family forever.
“In her mind the tapestry of her family history begins to unstitch, the fabric loosening at the seams”
Wow. You really do need the tissues for this one! A beautifully written dual timeline novel about love, family, memory, long-held secrets, and self-discovery, this book takes you on an emotional rollercoaster from beginning to end. The author has chosen to explore some of the most traumatic and devastating events that a family can go through in this book such as the loss of a child, dementia, the sudden death of a parent and decades-old family secrets. Just one of these would be enough to turn someone’s world upside down, and this family goes through them all. She writes with insight, compassion and sensitivity, drawing the reader into the heart and minds of the Hardy family so vividly that you feel everything alongside them.
I loved the choice to tell the story in dual timelines and have just two family members as narrators. I think this helped me to feel a deep connection with both Nell and Annie. As the tangled weave of secrets slowly unravelled I felt like I lived it alongside them, breaking my heart as theirs did, shedding tears with them and silently telling them they could get through this. I feel like if other narrators had been involved it would have diluted the emotional impact of Annie and Nell’s stories. Plus, the author still manages to convey the effect of events on the other characters through the lens of the two women.
Powerful, poignant and heart-rending, this hits you right in the heart and soul. A moving and compelling story that I highly recommend.
October 11, 2021
If you like books about family relationships and the secrets and hardships that come with living, then I recommend this book.
Nell is the youngest of three adult sisters. They are at the point of their lives where they are suffering the hardships of having older parents. Their beloved father has recently died and their mother, Annie, now suffers from dementia. After a deathbed comment made by her father throws her for a loop, Nell slowly comes to the realization that she may not be who she thinks she is.
Each chapter switches between “then” (about Annie as a young mother) and “now” (about Nell’s discovery of a deep dark secret).
I have to admit that I couldn’t put the book down, but it was like rubbernecking. You know you shouldn’t look, but your curiosity about he scene of the accident gets the better of you.
The author holds the reader in suspense throughout the second half of the book. Slowly, slowly, slowly, you learn the secrets the parents have kept from their children all the years. I found the story at this point to be depressing, and somewhat unbelievable. While what happened to Annie was terrible, the story became too contrived.
The end of the story leaves the reader wondering if there will be a sequel.
November 1, 2021
A book about family, loss, grief, and discovering who you are. I was drawn in by the description of this book. Nell, the youngest daughter in her family, hears her father’s deathbed confession and is left reeling. Her mother can’t answer her questions as she has dementia, but we meet her throughout the book thirty-five years previously.
Where to start with this. I enjoyed some moments in this book, but overall I found it underwhelming. I seem to be one of the few who wasn’t hooked by this book. The writing for me became a little laboured and rambled on at times. Unfortunately, I became bored very easily when reading this and was very happy to get to the ending. For me, one of the highlights of the book is the pure love the characters can have for each other. These passages are overflowing with emotion and beautiful to read.
One of the main issues I have with this book is that there are no content warnings. Death features heavily throughout the book and the characters’ subsequent grief. It is difficult to read, and anyone going through something similar in their own lives might find it upsetting.
Thank you to Netgalley and Union Lake Publishing for the copy of this book. My review is unbiased and honest.
Where to start with this. I enjoyed some moments in this book, but overall I found it underwhelming. I seem to be one of the few who wasn’t hooked by this book. The writing for me became a little laboured and rambled on at times. Unfortunately, I became bored very easily when reading this and was very happy to get to the ending. For me, one of the highlights of the book is the pure love the characters can have for each other. These passages are overflowing with emotion and beautiful to read.
One of the main issues I have with this book is that there are no content warnings. Death features heavily throughout the book and the characters’ subsequent grief. It is difficult to read, and anyone going through something similar in their own lives might find it upsetting.
Thank you to Netgalley and Union Lake Publishing for the copy of this book. My review is unbiased and honest.
September 29, 2021
As Nell sits at the bedside of her terminally ill father Bill, he lets slip a piece of information about their relationship that puzzles her. It's something she never gets to question him about, as he slips away quietly in the night.
Something about his deathbed declaration tugs at Nell's long-held feelings of isolation and not quite fitting in with the rest of her family, but how will she get the answers she needs now her mother Annie is slowly being lost to the ravages of dementia?
When Nell returns to her family home to help her sisters pack up the contents of their parents' lives, before their mother is admitted to a care home, the stark difference between the high-flying academic life she now leads and the day to day existence of her nearest and dearest cuts to the quick. She feels guilt at the way her older sisters have been left to carry the burden of care for their mother, and with the resentment they feel towards her as the favourite child who seems to have it easy barely concealed, all three find themselves falling back into the pattern of behaviour that was established in their childhood.
Nell's suspicion that there is a deep dark secret at the heart of this family refuses to go away, especially when her mother starts to make some odd comments as she slips back and forth between the present and the past - and some of the things she finds among her parents' possessions don't add up. Will she ever know the truth about her own past?
The Impossible Truths of Love is a superbly crafted story of grief, identity and family secrets that brings in elements of domestic noir and mystery to weave a tale that grips you from the first page to the last. The story moves between the present as Nell tries to get answers to the doubts that plague her, and the past when Annie was shattered by a series of traumatic events with consequences that ripple through time. Hannah Beckerman's writing is beautiful, wringing every possible ounce of emotion from you as she explores what it means to be part of a family with hidden sorrows, as the strain of current events throws up unresolved issues from the past.
If you have been through the process of losing your own parents through illness or dementia, and subsequently had to sift through the belongings left behind you will find so much of what is written in these pages hugely relatable. Beckerman conveys so well everything that follows these events: sibling rivalry rearing its ugly head; overwhelming feelings of nostalgia; the rawness of grief; and the heart breaking acknowledgement of what has been lost, especially if you have questions about what you find. Much of this hit the mark with me and made my heart ache anew with the loss of my own parents. The fact that this book is set in my old stomping ground of South London really ramped up the sentimental vibes too. The tears flowed, dear readers...
This is character driven and deeply affecting stuff, but is is also a deliciously plotted mystery story that unfolds with a quietly devastating slow-burn over the course of the book, in both storylines. Nell and Annie's stories come together as all the little pieces of the puzzle reveal themselves, and you will find yourself seconding guessing where you think this novel is taking you many times before the surprising ending gives you an emotional pummelling.
The Impossible Truths of Love is one of the finest novels I have read this year that combines themes of searching for a sense of belonging, the fathomless depths of what it means to be a mother, and the impact of unresolved trauma on mental health both in the present and the past. I read this one in a single luscious sitting, unable to tear myself away. It is thoroughly engrossing, profoundly moving, and will break your heart in two. Simply stunning!
Something about his deathbed declaration tugs at Nell's long-held feelings of isolation and not quite fitting in with the rest of her family, but how will she get the answers she needs now her mother Annie is slowly being lost to the ravages of dementia?
When Nell returns to her family home to help her sisters pack up the contents of their parents' lives, before their mother is admitted to a care home, the stark difference between the high-flying academic life she now leads and the day to day existence of her nearest and dearest cuts to the quick. She feels guilt at the way her older sisters have been left to carry the burden of care for their mother, and with the resentment they feel towards her as the favourite child who seems to have it easy barely concealed, all three find themselves falling back into the pattern of behaviour that was established in their childhood.
Nell's suspicion that there is a deep dark secret at the heart of this family refuses to go away, especially when her mother starts to make some odd comments as she slips back and forth between the present and the past - and some of the things she finds among her parents' possessions don't add up. Will she ever know the truth about her own past?
The Impossible Truths of Love is a superbly crafted story of grief, identity and family secrets that brings in elements of domestic noir and mystery to weave a tale that grips you from the first page to the last. The story moves between the present as Nell tries to get answers to the doubts that plague her, and the past when Annie was shattered by a series of traumatic events with consequences that ripple through time. Hannah Beckerman's writing is beautiful, wringing every possible ounce of emotion from you as she explores what it means to be part of a family with hidden sorrows, as the strain of current events throws up unresolved issues from the past.
If you have been through the process of losing your own parents through illness or dementia, and subsequently had to sift through the belongings left behind you will find so much of what is written in these pages hugely relatable. Beckerman conveys so well everything that follows these events: sibling rivalry rearing its ugly head; overwhelming feelings of nostalgia; the rawness of grief; and the heart breaking acknowledgement of what has been lost, especially if you have questions about what you find. Much of this hit the mark with me and made my heart ache anew with the loss of my own parents. The fact that this book is set in my old stomping ground of South London really ramped up the sentimental vibes too. The tears flowed, dear readers...
This is character driven and deeply affecting stuff, but is is also a deliciously plotted mystery story that unfolds with a quietly devastating slow-burn over the course of the book, in both storylines. Nell and Annie's stories come together as all the little pieces of the puzzle reveal themselves, and you will find yourself seconding guessing where you think this novel is taking you many times before the surprising ending gives you an emotional pummelling.
The Impossible Truths of Love is one of the finest novels I have read this year that combines themes of searching for a sense of belonging, the fathomless depths of what it means to be a mother, and the impact of unresolved trauma on mental health both in the present and the past. I read this one in a single luscious sitting, unable to tear myself away. It is thoroughly engrossing, profoundly moving, and will break your heart in two. Simply stunning!
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