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Cry, or Better Yet, Beg
Orphaned at a young age, Layla Llewellyn feels like the luckiest girl in the world after she moves in with her uncle Bill, a gardener who lives on the scenic Arvis estate in the Berg Empire. To Layla, Arvis seems like paradise; she loves to explore the vast forest, always bringing her notebook to record the wildlife she encounters. She especially loves the birds, watching them with awe as they hatch and grow from fluffy chicks into beautiful birds. Duke Herhardt, the young, handsome lord of Arvis, is also interested in birds—and in Layla. But the difference, is he's interested in birds because he likes to hunt them... and he's interested in Layla because he likes to make her cry. If a lovely bird is trapped in a golden cage, which will she choose: a life of luxury, or freedom?
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First published August 28, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 249 reviews
February 7, 2023
free women from the shackles of korean authors' fantasies
May 8, 2023
A story of a woman’s suffering just for the sake of woman’s suffering. Matthias is a borderline psychopath and does not have any redeemable quality whatsoever. Leyla is too naïve to the point of being a nitwit. Skipped a lot of parts because it hurt my head so much.
October 12, 2023
Girl spent like 140 chapters to hate him and suddenly she realized she loved him in one sentence and loved him for the last 8 chapters ☠️☠️☠️ wtf? And he didn’t even grovel. Man was just straight ass a maniac who blackmailed, raped then imprisoned her. Girl def had stockholm syndrome. Reading this is a torture and i don’t know why i finished it
October 17, 2023
if i were leyla i would strangle that son of a bitch to death in his sleep but that’s just me i guess.
is it that hard to not fall in love with someone who kept you in an invisible cage as if you’re his fucking canary and ruined your life? someone who constantly treated you like shit and threatened you? girl, do better, do not settle for a man like this he literally just destroyed your life. this story is bad for progressive and liberal feminism i said what i said.
we all have crazy kinky delulu fantasy i get it but i don’t think stockholm syndrome/being brainwashed into falling in love with a borderline psychopath is something i would fantasize about. matthias raped leyla let’s be fucking fr here, he used her uncle’s situation and talked her into sleeping with him it’s straight up disgusting. don’t fall in love with your rapist omfg.
free yourself women, trashy male leads don’t deserve our time.
is it that hard to not fall in love with someone who kept you in an invisible cage as if you’re his fucking canary and ruined your life? someone who constantly treated you like shit and threatened you? girl, do better, do not settle for a man like this he literally just destroyed your life. this story is bad for progressive and liberal feminism i said what i said.
we all have crazy kinky delulu fantasy i get it but i don’t think stockholm syndrome/being brainwashed into falling in love with a borderline psychopath is something i would fantasize about. matthias raped leyla let’s be fucking fr here, he used her uncle’s situation and talked her into sleeping with him it’s straight up disgusting. don’t fall in love with your rapist omfg.
free yourself women, trashy male leads don’t deserve our time.
November 8, 2023
3.5 ★ stars
(i'll gradually make changes to my rating with further continuation of the storyline)
update: 11/11/23 [chapter 12]
[contains spoiler]
Webtoon is being too slow and my impatient ass couldn't wait, found this new chapter update on another website❗
──➴🍃🕊💘── The mansion is busy with Matthias and Claudine's engagement preparations. I'm kind of worried like, what about Leila? (not me realizing i've been spelling her name wrong) and, oh my god❗ We got shirtless Matthias; he's literally out there for blood with his looks, and EXC FREAKING USE ME SIR IF YOU KEEP STARING LIKE THAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE PROBLEMS.
Our girl Leila was sitting on a tree minding her own business when she got an eyeful of wellnaked Matthias staring right through her soul, she went like "WHAT IS THAT?" /the second-hand embarassment/
-The way she got scared afterwards and ran like hell, leaving all her stuff behind because she thought Matthias would come after her; he was actually contemplating it❗ He was thinking "Oh, she still likes to climb trees for fun"—not climbing you that for sure.
Kyle was so adorably confused why Leila was panting, red-faced, and looked like she saw a ghost (girl, trust me I get you).
_
──➴🍃🕊💘── This book definitely went for a strong start, I'm loving everything so far. The illustrations I already knew were phenomenal but I was surprised nonetheless at how unspeakably beautiful they turned out, it's even better in the webtoon than promised in the edits. I finished the available chapters so fast that I'm almost disappointed I didn't get to savor it, waiting for a whole week to have access to another chapter will be tough, I can already tell. In fact, I have a feeling I'll come out of this work of art with my standards reaching ridiculous heights that no other graphic novels can suffice in a long while.
update: 6/11/23 [chapter 1-11]
[contains spoiler]
⚫ Starting
↳ The story starts with our protagonist, Layla Llewellyn, a 12 year old orphan.
Her earliest memories are of her mother leaving home for another man, promising her she would be back before little Layla finished all the candies in the candy jar but she never returned; it led her father to seek out addiction that soon followed him to an early grave. Layla has been tossed from one relative's door to another ever since and encountered horrible treatment from those families too eager to wash their hands off of her. One such experience leaves her on the streets again, looking for a relative willing to accept her. She didn't find a home but she did find someone who took sympathy on her and was kind enough to give her the address of another distant relative in a foreign land called the Berg Empire and send him a letter informing her situation in advance.
↳ She made the faraway journey alone, clutching onto hopes, and requested help from a mailman at the station to drop her off at her destination. This distant relative of hers, uncle Bill Remmers, works as a high-paid, well-respected groundkeeper at the mansion of the duke of Arvis, a heaven-like city in the heart of Berg Empire. Uncle Bill is widowed and has been living alone in a small cabin on the duke's property for a long time. He was cautious about taking the small child under his care but even more wary of sending her off to an orphanage, as suggested in the letter. He took a look at the child, her rugged off clothes, too thin complexion, sent out far from home all alone with just a small bag of personal belongings, and decided to let her stay till he made up his mind.
↳ Living in Arvis with Uncle Bill was the luckiest she ever felt; he broke her perceptions and the worst-case scenarios she was used to expecting. Despite his scary appearance and rough exterior, he made her feel welcomed, as did the other curious workers of the mansion who adored her and brought her gifts every now and then. She buried the dread of being sent somewhere else again for the time being as she came to love her temporary home and the beautiful forest beyond it. Most of her days were spent in that forest, climbing trees, observing birds, collecting wild berries, and noting down these small things that brought her joy to keep as a reminder, occasionally helping her uncle as he worked his magic in the duke's garden. She made her first friend there, the son of the duke's family doctor, Kyle Etman, who's the same age as her.
↳ Everything was going well until the imfamous young duke arrives home for his summer visits. Each one of his hunting quests turning her beloved forest in a graveyard; she is left alone in her misery to bury what is left of her precious birds everyday and couldn’t help hating him and his companions for killing her friends for their cruel amusement. The duke's very presence puts her on unease and sets off all kinds of warning bell; she avoids the nobles who take delight in her humiliation as best as possible but she quietly endures whatever they throw at her in fear of her uncle falling out of their good graces for his connection to her, not when he's the only one to ever show her kindness.
⚫ Thoughts & character rants
➵ Layla
In this story, Layla is our classic good girl FMC with a pretty traumatic past and insecurities of her own. We were shown some flashbacks of her past years trying to find a safe place among a long list of relatives, each home more unwelcoming than before. Seeing her do a mental repetition of the things she needs to do and needs to be so others will find her acceptable as a kid just broke my heart. She was curious about anything and everything, had a strong spirit that no power in the world could break; she held onto her childlike innocence even after the horrors she faced, and still found it in herself to be kind to the ones who deserved it.
I liked that she hated the nobles as much as they hated her, no matter how sparkly, shiny and sugary sweet they appeared to be. She kept up the pretense of nicety with them for the sake of it, just like they did. Layla reminds me a lot of Anne from the show Anne with an E, except her love interest has no morals (i have yet to confirm it).
Layla is described as a lovely child with hair like spun gold, pale skin, forest green eyes, wild and restless, a lot smaller than other kids her age. Her loveliness bled into her maturity as she grew up into a beautiful lady.
➵ Matthias
I still don’t know what to feel about the MMC duke Matthias von Herhardt. I haven’t come across any of his major toxic traits yet but I feel it coming, he is just so damn intimidating. I don’t remember feeling intimidated by a fictional character before. He's not violent or anything, no visible sign of anger issues, it’s the way he walks, the way he talks like he's this close to breaking some moral code, I have no clue if he has one to begin with.
I think that's why I'm finding him interesting even though,
(we have a second MMC, the childhood friend Kyle, who's definitely the best choice for a happy ending. He's cute, kind and has been in love with Layla since they were kids sharing food under a tree, perfect green flag material)
Best choice is overrated even the author agrees so we're going with Matthias. red flag but the interesting choice. All we know about Matthias so far is that,
-He has mesmerising blue eyes that resemble the deepest part of the ocean
-He is tall
-Has hair as black as a crow's feather
-His voice is smooth like the waterfall
-Studies abroad and returns home every summer
-Calm, reserved and restrained with a powerful presence; very well mannered
-Likes hunting, especially birds, and has great marksmanship.
(this guy is hot as hell, got me stop scrolling and stop breathing for real. when he points his gun at layla, i fainted okay! that scene was the reason i picked this up)
I thought my years of reading dark romance prepared me for common tropes like age gaps, but nah. I was super uncomfortable for the first few chapters. They had a six-year age gap, might not sound like a big deal if it weren't for the fact that Layla met Matthias when she was 12 and he was 18. They were legit serving jailbreak plot lines, and I was concerned as hell. Thankfully, they didn't interact much during that time and there was a huge time skip in between that took us to when they were both in an acceptable age gap frame.
So apparently, Layla hated summers because summer meant having to see him and she didn't like how insignificant his presence made her feel; everyone was on edge when he was around, she didn't like him ruining her peace of mind and her beloved forest. Joining the royal military school as a part of family tradition and serving on the front lines overseas put a stop to his summer visits for a few years until he showed up one summer without a word.
That's their first encounter as grown-ups and there definitely was an electric exchange in the air, it's too early in the story for a direct confirmation but something was there. So, this time he's back for good and a grand engagement to one of his distant cousins, Lady Claudine, is in order. He was, in a word, ridiculously rich, unbearably attractive and thoroughly bored with his perfectly organized life. He was searching for something to catch his interest, something wild and out of order so he could force it back in line and Layla was catching his attention more than necessary.
--->There was a scene where Mattahis was giving Claudine a tour of his mother's greenhouse and Claudine got curious why the birds there were so well behaved. The zookeeper told them the secret was to cut their wings. She asked to see how the process was done, so the worker picked up a canary bird and clipped its wings. Claudine was totally uninterested when the worker asked if she'd like to keep the bird as a pet. I swear, looking at the bird, Mattahis was thinking about Layla the whole time; he literally said, "Bring it to my bedroom" "My canary"<---
That's it, that would be the creepiest thought he had so far, in my opinion.
──➴🍃🕊💘──
I just checked > THIS IS FINALLY OUT ON WEBTOON
free chapters yayyy
❗
I've been making myself sick by watching it's edits & yt shorts for months.
Don't know much about the story but art style is to die for; that combined with the fact the mmc is 10/10 toxic, in a red flag kind of way 🚩✨ #always-a-weakness
and everyone in the reviews passionately hating him. I need to pay him a visit rfn (i need an accuracy check on the title)! 🚪🏃♀️💨
[5/11/23]
(i'll gradually make changes to my rating with further continuation of the storyline)
update: 11/11/23 [chapter 12]
[contains spoiler]
Webtoon is being too slow and my impatient ass couldn't wait, found this new chapter update on another website❗
──➴🍃🕊💘── The mansion is busy with Matthias and Claudine's engagement preparations. I'm kind of worried like, what about Leila? (not me realizing i've been spelling her name wrong) and, oh my god❗ We got shirtless Matthias; he's literally out there for blood with his looks, and EXC FREAKING USE ME SIR IF YOU KEEP STARING LIKE THAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE PROBLEMS.
Our girl Leila was sitting on a tree minding her own business when she got an eyeful of well
-The way she got scared afterwards and ran like hell, leaving all her stuff behind because she thought Matthias would come after her; he was actually contemplating it❗ He was thinking "Oh, she still likes to climb trees for fun"—not climbing you that for sure.
Kyle was so adorably confused why Leila was panting, red-faced, and looked like she saw a ghost (girl, trust me I get you).
_
──➴🍃🕊💘── This book definitely went for a strong start, I'm loving everything so far. The illustrations I already knew were phenomenal but I was surprised nonetheless at how unspeakably beautiful they turned out, it's even better in the webtoon than promised in the edits. I finished the available chapters so fast that I'm almost disappointed I didn't get to savor it, waiting for a whole week to have access to another chapter will be tough, I can already tell. In fact, I have a feeling I'll come out of this work of art with my standards reaching ridiculous heights that no other graphic novels can suffice in a long while.
update: 6/11/23 [chapter 1-11]
[contains spoiler]
⚫ Starting
↳ The story starts with our protagonist, Layla Llewellyn, a 12 year old orphan.
Her earliest memories are of her mother leaving home for another man, promising her she would be back before little Layla finished all the candies in the candy jar but she never returned; it led her father to seek out addiction that soon followed him to an early grave. Layla has been tossed from one relative's door to another ever since and encountered horrible treatment from those families too eager to wash their hands off of her. One such experience leaves her on the streets again, looking for a relative willing to accept her. She didn't find a home but she did find someone who took sympathy on her and was kind enough to give her the address of another distant relative in a foreign land called the Berg Empire and send him a letter informing her situation in advance.
↳ She made the faraway journey alone, clutching onto hopes, and requested help from a mailman at the station to drop her off at her destination. This distant relative of hers, uncle Bill Remmers, works as a high-paid, well-respected groundkeeper at the mansion of the duke of Arvis, a heaven-like city in the heart of Berg Empire. Uncle Bill is widowed and has been living alone in a small cabin on the duke's property for a long time. He was cautious about taking the small child under his care but even more wary of sending her off to an orphanage, as suggested in the letter. He took a look at the child, her rugged off clothes, too thin complexion, sent out far from home all alone with just a small bag of personal belongings, and decided to let her stay till he made up his mind.
↳ Living in Arvis with Uncle Bill was the luckiest she ever felt; he broke her perceptions and the worst-case scenarios she was used to expecting. Despite his scary appearance and rough exterior, he made her feel welcomed, as did the other curious workers of the mansion who adored her and brought her gifts every now and then. She buried the dread of being sent somewhere else again for the time being as she came to love her temporary home and the beautiful forest beyond it. Most of her days were spent in that forest, climbing trees, observing birds, collecting wild berries, and noting down these small things that brought her joy to keep as a reminder, occasionally helping her uncle as he worked his magic in the duke's garden. She made her first friend there, the son of the duke's family doctor, Kyle Etman, who's the same age as her.
↳ Everything was going well until the imfamous young duke arrives home for his summer visits. Each one of his hunting quests turning her beloved forest in a graveyard; she is left alone in her misery to bury what is left of her precious birds everyday and couldn’t help hating him and his companions for killing her friends for their cruel amusement. The duke's very presence puts her on unease and sets off all kinds of warning bell; she avoids the nobles who take delight in her humiliation as best as possible but she quietly endures whatever they throw at her in fear of her uncle falling out of their good graces for his connection to her, not when he's the only one to ever show her kindness.
⚫ Thoughts & character rants
➵ Layla
In this story, Layla is our classic good girl FMC with a pretty traumatic past and insecurities of her own. We were shown some flashbacks of her past years trying to find a safe place among a long list of relatives, each home more unwelcoming than before. Seeing her do a mental repetition of the things she needs to do and needs to be so others will find her acceptable as a kid just broke my heart. She was curious about anything and everything, had a strong spirit that no power in the world could break; she held onto her childlike innocence even after the horrors she faced, and still found it in herself to be kind to the ones who deserved it.
I liked that she hated the nobles as much as they hated her, no matter how sparkly, shiny and sugary sweet they appeared to be. She kept up the pretense of nicety with them for the sake of it, just like they did. Layla reminds me a lot of Anne from the show Anne with an E, except her love interest has no morals (i have yet to confirm it).
Layla is described as a lovely child with hair like spun gold, pale skin, forest green eyes, wild and restless, a lot smaller than other kids her age. Her loveliness bled into her maturity as she grew up into a beautiful lady.
➵ Matthias
I still don’t know what to feel about the MMC duke Matthias von Herhardt. I haven’t come across any of his major toxic traits yet but I feel it coming, he is just so damn intimidating. I don’t remember feeling intimidated by a fictional character before. He's not violent or anything, no visible sign of anger issues, it’s the way he walks, the way he talks like he's this close to breaking some moral code, I have no clue if he has one to begin with.
I think that's why I'm finding him interesting even though,
(we have a second MMC, the childhood friend Kyle, who's definitely the best choice for a happy ending. He's cute, kind and has been in love with Layla since they were kids sharing food under a tree, perfect green flag material)
Best choice is overrated even the author agrees so we're going with Matthias. red flag but the interesting choice. All we know about Matthias so far is that,
-He has mesmerising blue eyes that resemble the deepest part of the ocean
-He is tall
-Has hair as black as a crow's feather
-His voice is smooth like the waterfall
-Studies abroad and returns home every summer
-Calm, reserved and restrained with a powerful presence; very well mannered
-Likes hunting, especially birds, and has great marksmanship.
(this guy is hot as hell, got me stop scrolling and stop breathing for real. when he points his gun at layla, i fainted okay! that scene was the reason i picked this up)
I thought my years of reading dark romance prepared me for common tropes like age gaps, but nah. I was super uncomfortable for the first few chapters. They had a six-year age gap, might not sound like a big deal if it weren't for the fact that Layla met Matthias when she was 12 and he was 18. They were legit serving jailbreak plot lines, and I was concerned as hell. Thankfully, they didn't interact much during that time and there was a huge time skip in between that took us to when they were both in an acceptable age gap frame.
So apparently, Layla hated summers because summer meant having to see him and she didn't like how insignificant his presence made her feel; everyone was on edge when he was around, she didn't like him ruining her peace of mind and her beloved forest. Joining the royal military school as a part of family tradition and serving on the front lines overseas put a stop to his summer visits for a few years until he showed up one summer without a word.
That's their first encounter as grown-ups and there definitely was an electric exchange in the air, it's too early in the story for a direct confirmation but something was there. So, this time he's back for good and a grand engagement to one of his distant cousins, Lady Claudine, is in order. He was, in a word, ridiculously rich, unbearably attractive and thoroughly bored with his perfectly organized life. He was searching for something to catch his interest, something wild and out of order so he could force it back in line and Layla was catching his attention more than necessary.
--->There was a scene where Mattahis was giving Claudine a tour of his mother's greenhouse and Claudine got curious why the birds there were so well behaved. The zookeeper told them the secret was to cut their wings. She asked to see how the process was done, so the worker picked up a canary bird and clipped its wings. Claudine was totally uninterested when the worker asked if she'd like to keep the bird as a pet. I swear, looking at the bird, Mattahis was thinking about Layla the whole time; he literally said, "Bring it to my bedroom" "My canary"<---
That's it, that would be the creepiest thought he had so far, in my opinion.
──➴🍃🕊💘──
I just checked > THIS IS FINALLY OUT ON WEBTOON
I've been making myself sick by watching it's edits & yt shorts for months.
Don't know much about the story but art style is to die for; that combined with the fact the mmc is 10/10 toxic, in a red flag kind of way 🚩✨ #always-a-weakness
and everyone in the reviews passionately hating him. I need to pay him a visit rfn (i need an accuracy check on the title)! 🚪🏃♀️💨
[5/11/23]
July 13, 2025
GOD, this.....whole storyline was much darker and twisted than I expected. Like, seriously, so many messed-up things happened, and I hated every single one of them. But somehow, I just couldn’t stop reading.
The characters, Damn.... they’re so well-written, so fleshed out, I couldn’t help but root for them. Although I did not like how fml easily accept him in the end after everything. Still the story’s got it's own beauty, like, it sticks to the soul in a way that makes you wonder if you’re just as messed up as the author for enjoying it so much. My dumb self devoured all the available novel chapters so fast, and now I’m sitting here lowkey mad that I didn’t slow down and savor it.
On the webtoon, the art is chef’s kiss, so freaking gorgeous. The fact is they’re taking their sweet time updating, and I’m way too impatient for that. So yeah, I went full feral, tracked down the light novel updates on some random sketchy website, and binged the hell out of it. No regrets.
The characters, Damn.... they’re so well-written, so fleshed out, I couldn’t help but root for them. Although I did not like how fml easily accept him in the end after everything. Still the story’s got it's own beauty, like, it sticks to the soul in a way that makes you wonder if you’re just as messed up as the author for enjoying it so much. My dumb self devoured all the available novel chapters so fast, and now I’m sitting here lowkey mad that I didn’t slow down and savor it.
On the webtoon, the art is chef’s kiss, so freaking gorgeous. The fact is they’re taking their sweet time updating, and I’m way too impatient for that. So yeah, I went full feral, tracked down the light novel updates on some random sketchy website, and binged the hell out of it. No regrets.
October 3, 2023
Considering to dnf pretty soon. The MMC is a f****** piece of sh*t. Also Leyla and Kyle deserved better. Especially my poor Kyle.
February 8, 2024
I kept reading the story to see when the male lead would stop tormenting the female lead and when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, he would concoct another way to torment her. This is a grown man who cannot devise any way to get the women he’s obsessed with to pay attention to him other than coerce and bully her. I kept reading because I wanted to get to the point where he realizes the error of his ways and changes his behavior to actually loving and caring for her but THAT CHANGE ONLY HAPPENED WHEN (spoiler alert) he causes her so much distress that she (and their unborn baby) almost die from fever & stress. Reading this was so painful and there is barely any payoff. They realize they “love” each other while they’re sheltering in a war-torn city from bombs. I think the back-to-back near-death experiences made her slightly delusional and she gave him a chance, but was it worth all the pain and turmoil he caused beforehand? Respectfully, I do not believe so.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2023
Let me just give you this friendly advice. If you’re planning to read this novel or the manhwa (if it follows the novel 100%) then don’t.
SPOILERS AHEAD:
TW: this novel ends with a happy ending for the abuser and a heartbreaking ending for his brainwashed Stockholm syndrome victim.
This was labeled as a “romance” story but there is nothing romantic in coercing an innocent woman and reducing her to become a mistress against her own will. There is nothing romantic or normal in demeaning a woman’s worth to “good enough to f*ck but not good enough to marry her” just because she’s a lowborn. And oh yeah he also called her a “lowlife”, how romantic….
If you think the bullying is the worst parts in the novel, oh boy you’re so sorely mistaken. I cannot name you one thing that is good about the sadistic SOB male lead, Matthias. He bullied and emotionally manipulated and abused Leyla, the female lead from the beginning to the very end. He forced her hand and coerced her to become his mistress and took her on the cold floor for their first time. And it was her first time too! I can’t recount how many times he took her against her will, to the point Leyla herself said “just get it over with, I just want to rest” and this author wants me to believe that they are meant to be together? What kind of a twisted person are you to try to make us believe a victim of s€xual assault should ends up with her tormentor and label it as a happy ending? That’s just sick.
Matthias literally threatened to k!ll her because if he can’t have her then no one will.
‘I’m so happy to have you again without k!lling you, Leyla.’
No kidding, that’s what he said after he realized that she’s pregnant and threatened to take away her child from her. Yes, her child not their child because like Leyla, I refuse to acknowledge him as the father’s of the innocent child. And surprise, surprise (not) she was being coerced again to follow his rules or else he will torture Kyle and separate her from her child.
“You will be by my side, give birth to my child, and live as my woman. That’s your life.”
That’s what he has reduced her into. Just an empty vessel and a breeding machine.
‘She had grown more afraid of Matthias.’ - that was from Leyla’s POV by the way. No woman should feel this way towards her partner.
With less than 20 chapters left, I couldn’t take it anymore and started skimming through the rest of the story. I couldn’t tell you how many times I was tempted to DNF this novel but I guess I’m a glutton for punishment because I stood strong until now. I think the chapters when Leyla was caught after the war really put me in a bad mood. Matthias really knew no boundary or empathy. He taunted her over and over again and hell I don’t even know how Leyla managed to stay sane after all that torments and not to mention she just lost (uncle) Bill too 😞😞😞😞
So many ludicrous and disgusting things happened in this book but nothing tops the moment where Leyla woke up from a terrible fever and suddenly had a 180 degrees change of heart about Matthias. It was honestly hilarious I ended up laughing for straight one minute, no kidding. Because she knew he tried to have her unborn child killed to save her and what, that makes you forgive him after years of suffering and traumas? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
I was tempted to give this novel 1 star because truly, it was such a horrible story with that kind of ending but I am adding one more star for the efforts Leyla did to save herself from Matthias although she failed in the end. She ended up being another brainwashed woman with Stockholm syndrome after all. I’m truly sorry Leyla that you had to live your life this way. And to sweetheart Kyle Etman, you deserves so, so much better my dear selfless Kyle.
SPOILERS AHEAD:
TW: this novel ends with a happy ending for the abuser and a heartbreaking ending for his brainwashed Stockholm syndrome victim.
This was labeled as a “romance” story but there is nothing romantic in coercing an innocent woman and reducing her to become a mistress against her own will. There is nothing romantic or normal in demeaning a woman’s worth to “good enough to f*ck but not good enough to marry her” just because she’s a lowborn. And oh yeah he also called her a “lowlife”, how romantic….
If you think the bullying is the worst parts in the novel, oh boy you’re so sorely mistaken. I cannot name you one thing that is good about the sadistic SOB male lead, Matthias. He bullied and emotionally manipulated and abused Leyla, the female lead from the beginning to the very end. He forced her hand and coerced her to become his mistress and took her on the cold floor for their first time. And it was her first time too! I can’t recount how many times he took her against her will, to the point Leyla herself said “just get it over with, I just want to rest” and this author wants me to believe that they are meant to be together? What kind of a twisted person are you to try to make us believe a victim of s€xual assault should ends up with her tormentor and label it as a happy ending? That’s just sick.
Matthias literally threatened to k!ll her because if he can’t have her then no one will.
‘I’m so happy to have you again without k!lling you, Leyla.’
No kidding, that’s what he said after he realized that she’s pregnant and threatened to take away her child from her. Yes, her child not their child because like Leyla, I refuse to acknowledge him as the father’s of the innocent child. And surprise, surprise (not) she was being coerced again to follow his rules or else he will torture Kyle and separate her from her child.
“You will be by my side, give birth to my child, and live as my woman. That’s your life.”
That’s what he has reduced her into. Just an empty vessel and a breeding machine.
‘She had grown more afraid of Matthias.’ - that was from Leyla’s POV by the way. No woman should feel this way towards her partner.
With less than 20 chapters left, I couldn’t take it anymore and started skimming through the rest of the story. I couldn’t tell you how many times I was tempted to DNF this novel but I guess I’m a glutton for punishment because I stood strong until now. I think the chapters when Leyla was caught after the war really put me in a bad mood. Matthias really knew no boundary or empathy. He taunted her over and over again and hell I don’t even know how Leyla managed to stay sane after all that torments and not to mention she just lost (uncle) Bill too 😞😞😞😞
So many ludicrous and disgusting things happened in this book but nothing tops the moment where Leyla woke up from a terrible fever and suddenly had a 180 degrees change of heart about Matthias. It was honestly hilarious I ended up laughing for straight one minute, no kidding. Because she knew he tried to have her unborn child killed to save her and what, that makes you forgive him after years of suffering and traumas? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
I was tempted to give this novel 1 star because truly, it was such a horrible story with that kind of ending but I am adding one more star for the efforts Leyla did to save herself from Matthias although she failed in the end. She ended up being another brainwashed woman with Stockholm syndrome after all. I’m truly sorry Leyla that you had to live your life this way. And to sweetheart Kyle Etman, you deserves so, so much better my dear selfless Kyle.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 8, 2024
I can't recommend this. There are glimmering elements that I enjoyed in the beginning, descriptions of the scenery and the MC's pure relationship with nurture. However, this story romanticizes abuse, rape and mental torture. I can't support that.
February 7, 2024
DNF. Wtf.
ML IS A PSYCHOPATH AND THIS LEVEL OF WRITING SHOULD NOT BE WASTED ON A GENUINE ROMANCE BUT on a psychological horror instead. That is what it felt like. If the genre was correct and there was less torturing of a poor girl…
ML IS A PSYCHOPATH AND THIS LEVEL OF WRITING SHOULD NOT BE WASTED ON A GENUINE ROMANCE BUT on a psychological horror instead. That is what it felt like. If the genre was correct and there was less torturing of a poor girl…
February 10, 2024
TW: R@PE, HORROR, & VERY TERRIBLE WRITING I wanna jump
I hate how the heroine began starving herself as if she's not carrying a wholea$$ child in her belly😕 Like gurl if you truly love ur child and want to free urself from that lunatic Duke, starving urself is not the way. just EAT. Don't torture yourself☠️ and here I thought you're canonically smart in this story, then why not use that thing in ur head called brain? there are other ways to get away from him, it rhymes with violins🥱 also, I'm literally so lost bc I'm at ch 128 and atp the heroine was kidnapped and threatened by ML, so she's very scared for her and her child's safety... But omg why does she still find comfort in this whole setup? The way she'd randomly feel relief as ml lays her down in bed, i wanna rip my hair out in frustration homegurl is developing Stockholm syndrome.
I refuse to believe that after all that whole ordeal and no groveling from ml, in no way she still falls in love with him lmfao. At what chapter did she begin loving the monster when there's nothing lovable about that @$$hole of a Duke lol I'm so lost.
I HATE HATE THE DUKE SM WITH PASSION wdym u love the heroine so much you'd kill her ?? Uhmm what the flip am I reading! this ml is sick in the head I wanna throw my fist at him he has such a nice punchable face, too bad he's not real🥰
anyways I hate this novel I wish to erase its existence in my head idk why it got popular and idk why VAN J decided to make this into a manhwa when this has shitty shitty writing, her majestic art is wasted on this one, a huge loss to the webtoon community
I hate how the heroine began starving herself as if she's not carrying a wholea$$ child in her belly😕 Like gurl if you truly love ur child and want to free urself from that lunatic Duke, starving urself is not the way. just EAT. Don't torture yourself☠️ and here I thought you're canonically smart in this story, then why not use that thing in ur head called brain? there are other ways to get away from him, it rhymes with violins🥱 also, I'm literally so lost bc I'm at ch 128 and atp the heroine was kidnapped and threatened by ML, so she's very scared for her and her child's safety... But omg why does she still find comfort in this whole setup? The way she'd randomly feel relief as ml lays her down in bed, i wanna rip my hair out in frustration homegurl is developing Stockholm syndrome.
I refuse to believe that after all that whole ordeal and no groveling from ml, in no way she still falls in love with him lmfao. At what chapter did she begin loving the monster when there's nothing lovable about that @$$hole of a Duke lol I'm so lost.
I HATE HATE THE DUKE SM WITH PASSION wdym u love the heroine so much you'd kill her ?? Uhmm what the flip am I reading! this ml is sick in the head I wanna throw my fist at him he has such a nice punchable face, too bad he's not real🥰
anyways I hate this novel I wish to erase its existence in my head idk why it got popular and idk why VAN J decided to make this into a manhwa when this has shitty shitty writing, her majestic art is wasted on this one, a huge loss to the webtoon community
September 16, 2023
I saw the first chapters of manhwa and thought I'd check out what the plot was like. The endless bullying was so advanced it was terrifying. I should have understood from the title. DNF.
November 30, 2022
Update as on Nov 30th 2022
I'm thinking of giving this story another chance.
Original rating:⭐
SPOILER ALERT
I read the English translation at https://lightnovelheaven.com/series/c...
My rating has nothing to do with the author or translators. I in all honesty respect and value their efforts. My rating is purely based on what I felt while reading and I haven't even completed the story, though I read the last chapter (ch 130 so far) as I could not take it anymore.
I was looking for a story similar to Lemonade by Nina Pennacchi and someone recommended this one. I DNFed after reading 56 chapters and few random chapters and last chapter (ch 130 so far). I felt depressed and melancholic but not in a good emotional detox-will see silver lining shortly kind of way, but in a way where I felt claustrophobic and oxygen-deprived with darkness all around me and no hope to escape. I do indulge in these emotions from time to time by reading about such characters but I also look forward to their transition towards healing and ultimately happiness. But the MCs of this book cannot gloss over the events that happened between them and make me believe in their "HEA".
This story spans out roughly over a period of 10 years. It starts when FL is 12 and ML is 18. Actual interactions between them take place when FL has turned 18. ML is characterized as an extreme Yandere (psychotic obsessive kinds). To me it felt like he was jaded and bored with his life. He was born into wealth and never had to desire for anything. He just goes about performing his duties and reacting to people and situations like he's expected to do. He does not have a tragic backstory except that he loses his father at a young age of 12. He has a loving family and has his life perfectly cut out for him. On the other hand FL has a tragic childhood. She becomes an orphan at a young age and gets subjected to neglect, mental and physical abuse, poverty, hunger, abandonment etc. She ends up at her uncle's place at the age of 12. Uncle happens to be a gardener working at ML's estate.
ML finds FL's social and financial status a thing to be mocked at and gets a kick out of bullying her. His bullying is so intense sometimes that I feared for her safety and life. Mind you we haven't even reached 30% of the book and more bullying is yet to come. Now ML desires FL and makes her his mistress through blackmail. She hates herself for becoming one but also suffers body-betraying syndrome from time to time. ML know how much that hurts her but because of his social standing cannot think of marrying her. Him dishonoring his "love interest" like that for the sake of some title and wealth felt cowardly and distasteful. Also there's war setting at around 75% of the book.
Finally after getting a fair idea of how events turned out I jumped to the last chapter. In the last chapter I got to know that FL is pregnant with ML's child. FL tells ML with all seriousness how much she hates and detests him and does not want to be with him. ML as usual blackmails her by threatening to take away their unborn child to make her stay with him. FL is so exhausted at this point from her pregnancy, war around, losing her uncle to war, almost scared of losing her only friend that she falls into a restless sleep with tears pouring out. ML licks her tears and revels in her despair and thinks to himself "Her tears still tasted like heaven." And that my friends is the last line of the book. I mean I could never in a million years root for such toxicity. I felt so sad for the FL. This story reminded me of how unfair and unjust life is to some people. It breaks my heart to think about girls and women who go through such ordeals in real life.
This book totally lives up to its title. I will only recommend this book to those readers who are okay without an actual HEA because there is none. If you are looking for a trope where you want to warm up to the ML eventually, this story is not for you. I found Matthias unlikeable, insecure and evil even until the end of the story. He is not well-adjusted and seriously needs a therapist to help him figure out how to deal with his feelings and emotions maturely. These qualities are not attractive to me in a ML. I need to either have a crush on my MLs or at least feel some kind of buddy-ship with them to root for them. Second ML is the one with actual likeable qualities.
In my imagination FL either kills herself or ML under extreme duress. What I actually like to imagine is that FL kills ML and starts a decent life with second ML.
I read few books where ML commits super horrible things but turns a new leaf for FL and FL is actually happy by the end of the story.
1. Virtue and Vanity by Astrid Jane Ray (ML r**** FL on wedding night and grovels like no other ML out there. This book is in FL's POV. Do check out author's Wattpad for ML's POV called Strings Attached after you have read the book)
2. Monster by Franchetta Phal
3. Resurrect by Astrid Jane Ray
4. The Flesh and the Devil by Teresa Denys
5. Of course I will include Lemonade by Nina Pennacchi
6. His Little Bird series by TheWanderer'sWanderingDaughter - It's a four-part Dramione fanfic with loads of non-con and other forms of torture. Fourth part is still ongoing. I read it on archiveofourown or a03 site.
Thanks for reading!!!
I'm thinking of giving this story another chance.
Original rating:⭐
SPOILER ALERT
I read the English translation at https://lightnovelheaven.com/series/c...
My rating has nothing to do with the author or translators. I in all honesty respect and value their efforts. My rating is purely based on what I felt while reading and I haven't even completed the story, though I read the last chapter (ch 130 so far) as I could not take it anymore.
I was looking for a story similar to Lemonade by Nina Pennacchi and someone recommended this one. I DNFed after reading 56 chapters and few random chapters and last chapter (ch 130 so far). I felt depressed and melancholic but not in a good emotional detox-will see silver lining shortly kind of way, but in a way where I felt claustrophobic and oxygen-deprived with darkness all around me and no hope to escape. I do indulge in these emotions from time to time by reading about such characters but I also look forward to their transition towards healing and ultimately happiness. But the MCs of this book cannot gloss over the events that happened between them and make me believe in their "HEA".
This story spans out roughly over a period of 10 years. It starts when FL is 12 and ML is 18. Actual interactions between them take place when FL has turned 18. ML is characterized as an extreme Yandere (psychotic obsessive kinds). To me it felt like he was jaded and bored with his life. He was born into wealth and never had to desire for anything. He just goes about performing his duties and reacting to people and situations like he's expected to do. He does not have a tragic backstory except that he loses his father at a young age of 12. He has a loving family and has his life perfectly cut out for him. On the other hand FL has a tragic childhood. She becomes an orphan at a young age and gets subjected to neglect, mental and physical abuse, poverty, hunger, abandonment etc. She ends up at her uncle's place at the age of 12. Uncle happens to be a gardener working at ML's estate.
ML finds FL's social and financial status a thing to be mocked at and gets a kick out of bullying her. His bullying is so intense sometimes that I feared for her safety and life. Mind you we haven't even reached 30% of the book and more bullying is yet to come. Now ML desires FL and makes her his mistress through blackmail. She hates herself for becoming one but also suffers body-betraying syndrome from time to time. ML know how much that hurts her but because of his social standing cannot think of marrying her. Him dishonoring his "love interest" like that for the sake of some title and wealth felt cowardly and distasteful. Also there's war setting at around 75% of the book.
Finally after getting a fair idea of how events turned out I jumped to the last chapter. In the last chapter I got to know that FL is pregnant with ML's child. FL tells ML with all seriousness how much she hates and detests him and does not want to be with him. ML as usual blackmails her by threatening to take away their unborn child to make her stay with him. FL is so exhausted at this point from her pregnancy, war around, losing her uncle to war, almost scared of losing her only friend that she falls into a restless sleep with tears pouring out. ML licks her tears and revels in her despair and thinks to himself "Her tears still tasted like heaven." And that my friends is the last line of the book. I mean I could never in a million years root for such toxicity. I felt so sad for the FL. This story reminded me of how unfair and unjust life is to some people. It breaks my heart to think about girls and women who go through such ordeals in real life.
This book totally lives up to its title. I will only recommend this book to those readers who are okay without an actual HEA because there is none. If you are looking for a trope where you want to warm up to the ML eventually, this story is not for you. I found Matthias unlikeable, insecure and evil even until the end of the story. He is not well-adjusted and seriously needs a therapist to help him figure out how to deal with his feelings and emotions maturely. These qualities are not attractive to me in a ML. I need to either have a crush on my MLs or at least feel some kind of buddy-ship with them to root for them. Second ML is the one with actual likeable qualities.
In my imagination FL either kills herself or ML under extreme duress. What I actually like to imagine is that FL kills ML and starts a decent life with second ML.
I read few books where ML commits super horrible things but turns a new leaf for FL and FL is actually happy by the end of the story.
1. Virtue and Vanity by Astrid Jane Ray (ML r**** FL on wedding night and grovels like no other ML out there. This book is in FL's POV. Do check out author's Wattpad for ML's POV called Strings Attached after you have read the book)
2. Monster by Franchetta Phal
3. Resurrect by Astrid Jane Ray
4. The Flesh and the Devil by Teresa Denys
5. Of course I will include Lemonade by Nina Pennacchi
6. His Little Bird series by TheWanderer'sWanderingDaughter - It's a four-part Dramione fanfic with loads of non-con and other forms of torture. Fourth part is still ongoing. I read it on archiveofourown or a03 site.
Thanks for reading!!!
January 27, 2026
This is by far one of the most f up novels I've ever read. She literally spent 140 chapters hating him( for a good reason obviously) and then suddenly she figured she is in love with him 🤯
She must have Stockholm syndrome or something because there is no better explanation why that would happen. It was antagonising reading this novel, I finished it for the sole purpose of wanting to know how leyla will take her revenge on him and to see him suffer for all the toxic, twisted, maniac despicable things he had done for her, but then I got rewarded with her forgiving him????
What's the purpose of this whole novel then, to just forgive her rapi*** and the person who tormented her this easily.
He never thought of her as a person but Always as an object. He's so sick to the point of never regretting what he has done, he only kind of deteriorated because she left him, if she hasn't done that I'm 1000 percent sure he would go through with his wedding with claudine and make her his mistress, never once thinking about her happiness, her wants and her wishes.
AND THEN AFTER ALL OF THIS, he and leyla got to have a happily ever after ( shocking) and freaking riette DIE like wtf!!!!! Really at least let him be happy with claudine. Matthias is one of the worst ml I've seen, he was so well written to the point I hated his guts, but I truly had hoped after seeing such well written characters and their depth the novel would at least have meaningful ending ( like leyla finally getting free from the duke and going to college and forfeiting her dreams) not being stuck with his child ( which he obviously hated during her pregnancy to suddenly loving him and being the best father ever ) MATTHEAS BEING A GOOD FATHER!!! The person who gets off on leyla's tears, the same twisted men suddenly become someone so amazing in the last chapters. WOW.
I truly tried to understand Matthias at first, and why would he do such things as bullying leyla, at that point I thought he can still redeem himself 😔 but after forcing her to be his mistress in order to save her uncle, I truly and ulterly hated him. What he did to her is not by any means okay, she's a freaking victim, but obviously instead of healing her and showing how she can overcome all her problems the author decided to leave leyla crying for almost all the novel and to forgive this Matthias of hers. I'm so disappointed how this turned out for real. Despite him being such a sick character Matthias and almost all the characters were well written but how the story unfolded really ruined it to be honest.
PLEASE STOP GLAMORISING rap* and these toxic men and let the fl for one defend herself and prove she can end up just with herself and she would be fine, not every story needs to end with the couple together, I would rather see leyla alone with her child blooming than with the sick twisted duke. But sadly that's what happened. This is my first time writing a review like this, but at least this is a safe space where I could express myself and my opinions on the books I read.
PS: Kyle deserved way better, even Claudine too.
She must have Stockholm syndrome or something because there is no better explanation why that would happen. It was antagonising reading this novel, I finished it for the sole purpose of wanting to know how leyla will take her revenge on him and to see him suffer for all the toxic, twisted, maniac despicable things he had done for her, but then I got rewarded with her forgiving him????
What's the purpose of this whole novel then, to just forgive her rapi*** and the person who tormented her this easily.
He never thought of her as a person but Always as an object. He's so sick to the point of never regretting what he has done, he only kind of deteriorated because she left him, if she hasn't done that I'm 1000 percent sure he would go through with his wedding with claudine and make her his mistress, never once thinking about her happiness, her wants and her wishes.
AND THEN AFTER ALL OF THIS, he and leyla got to have a happily ever after ( shocking) and freaking riette DIE like wtf!!!!! Really at least let him be happy with claudine. Matthias is one of the worst ml I've seen, he was so well written to the point I hated his guts, but I truly had hoped after seeing such well written characters and their depth the novel would at least have meaningful ending ( like leyla finally getting free from the duke and going to college and forfeiting her dreams) not being stuck with his child ( which he obviously hated during her pregnancy to suddenly loving him and being the best father ever ) MATTHEAS BEING A GOOD FATHER!!! The person who gets off on leyla's tears, the same twisted men suddenly become someone so amazing in the last chapters. WOW.
I truly tried to understand Matthias at first, and why would he do such things as bullying leyla, at that point I thought he can still redeem himself 😔 but after forcing her to be his mistress in order to save her uncle, I truly and ulterly hated him. What he did to her is not by any means okay, she's a freaking victim, but obviously instead of healing her and showing how she can overcome all her problems the author decided to leave leyla crying for almost all the novel and to forgive this Matthias of hers. I'm so disappointed how this turned out for real. Despite him being such a sick character Matthias and almost all the characters were well written but how the story unfolded really ruined it to be honest.
PLEASE STOP GLAMORISING rap* and these toxic men and let the fl for one defend herself and prove she can end up just with herself and she would be fine, not every story needs to end with the couple together, I would rather see leyla alone with her child blooming than with the sick twisted duke. But sadly that's what happened. This is my first time writing a review like this, but at least this is a safe space where I could express myself and my opinions on the books I read.
PS: Kyle deserved way better, even Claudine too.
November 21, 2023
Bro what the fuckity fuck! I tried to finish it okay I really did. But there's no point. It all goes downhill from the beginning. A sadistic ml with no chance of a redemption arc gets what he wants till the very end basically. The writer has so much potential but the stories are just cruel.
September 22, 2023
une des pires lectures de ma vie j’ai même pas fini tellement c’est catastrophique. je comprends pas comment c’est possible d’écrire encore aujourd’hui des histoires comme ça ? la fl du début à la fin se fait manipuler et abuser physiquement comme mentalement, y a rien de romantique. durant tout le livre elle ne fait que souffrir par le ml et le pire c’est qu’il ne change pas il devient de plus en plus pire. Il n’y a pas d’évolution de personnage rien ne va. si je pouvais j’aurai mis 0, une vraie perte de temps.
January 6, 2025
Cry, or Better Yet, Beg is the twisted and heartbreaking love story of Matthias von Herhardt and Layla Llewellyn. I was first introduced to this novel through the manhwa and its beautiful art. Initially, I was skeptical about starting this because of all the negative comments about the story and hero. However, I wanted to know for myself how bad it was and I found that a lot of people must have read a different translation or exaggerated his acts. This is a historical dark romance. Matthias was a very complex and ruthless hero whose all-consuming love and obsession for Layla ultimately played a role in his misery, suffering, and redemption in the end. All he ever wanted was her beautiful smile, laughter, and love. His desire and love for her made him do some morally gray things—all for the sake of keeping her by his side. As for Layla, she was a complex heroine who did everything in her power to hate and deny her feelings and love for Matthias.
I absolutely loved Solche's writing, characterization, and her ability to bring everything full circle in the end. Every scene, moment, and conversation between Layla and Matthias was incredibly important and fundamental to understanding their entire relationship. Although his actions were inherently wrong and he "ruined" her life in the process, it also ruined his life in turn because it made him miserable, empty, and broken. Matthias' downfall from the perfect gentleman was incredible to witness because it resulted in his character development and decision to choose love over obsession in the end. I loved every single moment of this book and this will remain one of my favorite Korean historical novels to date.
Note: I read the official translation through Yonder.
"If I can't be your heaven, Layla... then I will let you go… So, go. Fly away from me and find your heaven." — Chapter 137
"I'm going to be your heaven, your sky. So please, fly freely. As long as you don't leave me, you can do anything you want. I love you." — Epilogue 4
I absolutely loved Solche's writing, characterization, and her ability to bring everything full circle in the end. Every scene, moment, and conversation between Layla and Matthias was incredibly important and fundamental to understanding their entire relationship. Although his actions were inherently wrong and he "ruined" her life in the process, it also ruined his life in turn because it made him miserable, empty, and broken. Matthias' downfall from the perfect gentleman was incredible to witness because it resulted in his character development and decision to choose love over obsession in the end. I loved every single moment of this book and this will remain one of my favorite Korean historical novels to date.
Note: I read the official translation through Yonder.
October 2, 2023
Just when I thought Bastian and Bjorn are the king of red flag, Matthias snatch that flag from them and proudly declare himself as the most neon red king.
Anyway, after finished reading this story, my duo most favorite red flag finally became trio with Matthias on top, next to Bastian then Bjorn. I really enjoyed this, his trick and his degrading words gave me so much amusement, like...man, I felt it. He's a monster indeed. Hats off to the author to manage describe him as awful as he is.
It was a nice and fun ride, I read it from midnight 'til morning and I think it paid well.
Anyway, after finished reading this story, my duo most favorite red flag finally became trio with Matthias on top, next to Bastian then Bjorn. I really enjoyed this, his trick and his degrading words gave me so much amusement, like...man, I felt it. He's a monster indeed. Hats off to the author to manage describe him as awful as he is.
It was a nice and fun ride, I read it from midnight 'til morning and I think it paid well.
December 12, 2024
Matthias von Herhardt has got to be the most disgusting trashiest psychotic sadist ml in josei manhwa history, and the fl is equally a stupid doormat with no sense to speak of 🤮 I AM UTTERLY TRAUMATISED THIS WAS SO BAD, A COMPLETE WASTE OF BEAUTIFUL ART AND EFFORT !
September 23, 2023
boi wth
May 2, 2024
At first, the story was okay and the characters were interesting.
After that, the story became a disturbing and disgusting nightmare .
After that, the story became a disturbing and disgusting nightmare .
January 31, 2026
DNF for now
January 10, 2025
5 stars ✨
Once upon a time a deranged aristocrat blackmailed a lonely orphan who lived on his land into becoming his mistress and formed an unhealthy relationship that blossomed into love and lived happy ever after
Favorite quotes
His thoughts and feelings drowned in her, and he happily let it overtake him if it meant he'd get to have her for himself. At that moment, she was all he could process, as though she was the only thing in the world he needed to be alive…...
When even his staff notices his obsession
. Mark Evers was Duke Herhardt's current attendant. As he followed after his master, he couldn't help but feel a little perplexed by his recent actions.
He'd been working in the Arvis Mansion for many years now. He's filled up every position, from a lowly servant, to an apprentice to the head butler, Hessen, down to the Duke's attendant. He'd been them all. He'd witnessed many things about them too, but not this.
This wasn't the Duke he was accustomed to.
He'd noticed it for a while now, how unfocused his master had been, even in the presence of the Royal couple. It wasn't like him. The Duke had always been attentive, even though he pretended not to be interested. So when he spaced out back there, Mark could tell something was amiss for his Master.
Suddenly, Matthias stopped, startling Mark by his sudden change.
His master was turned towards the window, his gaze resolutely looking out the window with an intense look in his eyes. Mark couldn't help but follow his gaze.
And there, he spotted her just as she was passing through the garden, basking in the fading light of the sun as the skies gradually darkened, was Leyla. She was headed for the forest path, located just behind the mansion as she carried a large bag in her arms.
Mark opted to wait for his master patiently, instead of breaking his reverie for them to get to the dining room promptly. Leyla must have gone grocery shopping, and was now just returning. Though her load looked rather heavy. It mustn't be, for she was walking at a leisurely pace, neither in a hurry nor struggling.
'She's back,' Matthias thought with a certain relief, 'Leyla's returned.' Matthias remained looking at her beautiful figure, enamored by the sway of her french braid with every step she took further into the forest.
It didn't escape Mark's notice how the stiffness in his master's form slowly eased out of his shoulders the longer he stared at the unsuspecting girl. She didn't even bother looking towards the mansion.
With a sigh, Matthias then sat up on the couch, before he swept a hand from his face, and up to his hair, trying to rub the sleep off his face. When he looked up, he locked eyes almost immediately with Leyla.
He frowned upon seeing another man's coat wrapped around her.
Mark's eyes darted nervously back and forth from his master, and then to Leyla. He could tell there was some tension between them, and he could also tell he didn't want to be anywhere near them when it blew up.
..
When he made his assistant bring her to a hotel while he was working and got her favorite pink cake
. What else do you think?” he asked her in faint amusement, mixed with a little teasing. He caught sight of the single piece of cake he had ordered Mark to add. It had a pink cream filling, and elaborately designed with pink and white icings.
Mark Evers was getting more efficient in his job. He did well today.
Matthias went to grab the plate, and held it out for Leyla to take.
“This one is for you.” he told her plainly, making Leyla grab it dumbly, “Make sure to eat it this time.” he ordered her before he laid back down on the sofa.
“What are you doing?” Leyla wondered in confusion as she watched him throw an arm over his eyes as he settled on the sofa.
“Wake me up in two hours.” he ordered her, while Leyla could only continue to watch him.
“What?”
When she received no reply, she put the cake down on the table and got around the sofa to hover over him.
“What are you doing right now?!” she hissed at him in confusion. Matthias only hummed in reply, content in letting her go unanswered, but she hovered persistently over him.
“Well, seeing as you're my beautiful Lady right now, I should only treat you like one.” He answered plainly, still keeping his eyes closed in an attempt to catch up on some much needed rest.
“I don't even want to be your lady!”
“It's a nice thought though, wouldn't you agree?”
“You're not making any sense!” Leyla complained, “What are you talking about?!”
“Well, if you're so adamant on not being my Lady, then I shouldn't have to act like your gentleman either.” he told her in a drowsy manner, “Isn't that the unspoken rule between us?” he finally opened up an eye to stare up at her.
Leyla felt her body freezing in response despite his vulnerable position. How could he have this much power over her?
“You're staying rather suspiciously over there,” Matthias commented lightly, “Planning to kill me while I sleep?” he inquired. Leyla only frowned down at him as she took a deep breath.
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“I'm thinking about it.” she glared at him haughtily.
“Well, make sure you succeed then.” He softly challenged, “Because once you fail, it's my turn next.” He gave her a miniscule grin, before shutting his eyes closed once more, finally falling into a world of sleep, with the warm afternoon glow basking them both in its fading light.
Leyla could only stand there in hopelessness as she watched him drift into sleep. She could never understand him, not his words, nor the actions he'd done. He was beyond her comprehension. He was the one who invited her over, even reminded her why she had to come.
And now he sets out a table filled with her favorite food, and falls asleep...
When he makes her go shopping and puts her shoes on for her
.. So Matthias knelt in front of her.
Leyla snapped her eyes up to meet his gaze, while the others gasped softly as they witnessed him kneeling. Matthias seemed indifferent to their audience, his attention solely on Leyla.
Before she could voice out her confusion, Matthias grabbed her by the ankles, gently removing her shoes, and put on the ones he'd chosen would fit her. Leyla soon snapped out of her confusion, the frustrated blush being replaced with a flustered red as she pulled her leg away from him, but he only grabbed it back to secure the shoes on her feet.
Even her feet looked so adorable, Matthias thought to himself with a smile.
.
When she leaves him .. “ as she should have at this point bc I needed to see him go full on crazy”
.. Nothing in his mind made any sense, nor became more important than finding Leyla. Day after day, Matthias found it harder and harder to get out of bed.
It wasn't until late in the morning that he finally rose out of bed. His eyes remained sunken despite the prolonged rest, his face hollow and sharp, his blue eyes dull and darker than before.
He dragged his feet towards the bathroom, where he stopped and looked at his reflection with a blank expression. His eyes were notably bloodshot, more indication of his restless night.
Lately he'd find himself laughing to himself, but nothing was funny. His chuckles and grins were all devoid of any emotion other than numbness…
Prevalent numbness.
How odd. He used to think his time with her was the highlight of his meager life. But it seemed as though, for her, he was her nightmare in the flesh.
How odd. Why did she see it like that?
He wanted her back with him, to see her laugh at his misery without her. He wanted to see her smile at the broken man she made him to be.
Even just like this, he needed to see her again. He wanted to see her again, even in his misery. Even if she hated him, he wanted her back.
And so he grit his teeth in anticipation, and his pace quickened as he continued walking around aimlessly…
Before he knew it, he reached the road back to Arvis. The familiar Platanus road in front of him beckons his calm, and the image of Leyla the last time he saw her appears in front of his eyes…
She was looking at him so earnestly, wishing for him to love her; it made him stumble in his steps as he drew closer to that spot once more. She's always been his magnet. He'd always been so drawn to her, that without her, he couldn't find his way back to sanity…
“Leyla, oh my Leyla,” he sighed wistfully pressing their foreheads together, “Don't do that, again. Do that again, and I won't promise to hold back anymore.” He pulled away and touched her lips with his hands…
“If you dare utter his name again,” he eyed her carefully, eyes turning dark as his gaze dropped to her lips, “If even a whisper of his name is out your lips, and I might just put a bullet through his head this time.”
So for his sake,” Matthias groaned, pressing their foreheads together once more, a hand cupping the back of her head to keep them connected as he leaned against her hard, “Don't ever say his name in my presence again.”
.
When he’s just so obsessed w her 🫠
... Matthias kept planting kisses all over her face. On her cheeks, the tip of her nose, behind her closed eyelids, and back on her forehead. He was so drunk in endorphins, he couldn't find it in himself to stop these soft affections he gave her.
Leyla's brows frowned, flinching her face away every now and then, her cute button nose wrinkling when he'd smoothen it out with another kiss again.
“Stop it.” she grumbled drowsily, with her eyes still closed.
“Say it again, Leyla…” He requested once more..
“Huh?” Leyla groggily asked, burying her face into his chest, muffling her voice.
“Say that you love me again.” He reiterated, “If you say that, I swear to give you everything you want.”
Once upon a time a deranged aristocrat blackmailed a lonely orphan who lived on his land into becoming his mistress and formed an unhealthy relationship that blossomed into love and lived happy ever after
Favorite quotes
His thoughts and feelings drowned in her, and he happily let it overtake him if it meant he'd get to have her for himself. At that moment, she was all he could process, as though she was the only thing in the world he needed to be alive…...
When even his staff notices his obsession
. Mark Evers was Duke Herhardt's current attendant. As he followed after his master, he couldn't help but feel a little perplexed by his recent actions.
He'd been working in the Arvis Mansion for many years now. He's filled up every position, from a lowly servant, to an apprentice to the head butler, Hessen, down to the Duke's attendant. He'd been them all. He'd witnessed many things about them too, but not this.
This wasn't the Duke he was accustomed to.
He'd noticed it for a while now, how unfocused his master had been, even in the presence of the Royal couple. It wasn't like him. The Duke had always been attentive, even though he pretended not to be interested. So when he spaced out back there, Mark could tell something was amiss for his Master.
Suddenly, Matthias stopped, startling Mark by his sudden change.
His master was turned towards the window, his gaze resolutely looking out the window with an intense look in his eyes. Mark couldn't help but follow his gaze.
And there, he spotted her just as she was passing through the garden, basking in the fading light of the sun as the skies gradually darkened, was Leyla. She was headed for the forest path, located just behind the mansion as she carried a large bag in her arms.
Mark opted to wait for his master patiently, instead of breaking his reverie for them to get to the dining room promptly. Leyla must have gone grocery shopping, and was now just returning. Though her load looked rather heavy. It mustn't be, for she was walking at a leisurely pace, neither in a hurry nor struggling.
'She's back,' Matthias thought with a certain relief, 'Leyla's returned.' Matthias remained looking at her beautiful figure, enamored by the sway of her french braid with every step she took further into the forest.
It didn't escape Mark's notice how the stiffness in his master's form slowly eased out of his shoulders the longer he stared at the unsuspecting girl. She didn't even bother looking towards the mansion.
With a sigh, Matthias then sat up on the couch, before he swept a hand from his face, and up to his hair, trying to rub the sleep off his face. When he looked up, he locked eyes almost immediately with Leyla.
He frowned upon seeing another man's coat wrapped around her.
Mark's eyes darted nervously back and forth from his master, and then to Leyla. He could tell there was some tension between them, and he could also tell he didn't want to be anywhere near them when it blew up.
..
When he made his assistant bring her to a hotel while he was working and got her favorite pink cake
. What else do you think?” he asked her in faint amusement, mixed with a little teasing. He caught sight of the single piece of cake he had ordered Mark to add. It had a pink cream filling, and elaborately designed with pink and white icings.
Mark Evers was getting more efficient in his job. He did well today.
Matthias went to grab the plate, and held it out for Leyla to take.
“This one is for you.” he told her plainly, making Leyla grab it dumbly, “Make sure to eat it this time.” he ordered her before he laid back down on the sofa.
“What are you doing?” Leyla wondered in confusion as she watched him throw an arm over his eyes as he settled on the sofa.
“Wake me up in two hours.” he ordered her, while Leyla could only continue to watch him.
“What?”
When she received no reply, she put the cake down on the table and got around the sofa to hover over him.
“What are you doing right now?!” she hissed at him in confusion. Matthias only hummed in reply, content in letting her go unanswered, but she hovered persistently over him.
“Well, seeing as you're my beautiful Lady right now, I should only treat you like one.” He answered plainly, still keeping his eyes closed in an attempt to catch up on some much needed rest.
“I don't even want to be your lady!”
“It's a nice thought though, wouldn't you agree?”
“You're not making any sense!” Leyla complained, “What are you talking about?!”
“Well, if you're so adamant on not being my Lady, then I shouldn't have to act like your gentleman either.” he told her in a drowsy manner, “Isn't that the unspoken rule between us?” he finally opened up an eye to stare up at her.
Leyla felt her body freezing in response despite his vulnerable position. How could he have this much power over her?
“You're staying rather suspiciously over there,” Matthias commented lightly, “Planning to kill me while I sleep?” he inquired. Leyla only frowned down at him as she took a deep breath.
Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks
“I'm thinking about it.” she glared at him haughtily.
“Well, make sure you succeed then.” He softly challenged, “Because once you fail, it's my turn next.” He gave her a miniscule grin, before shutting his eyes closed once more, finally falling into a world of sleep, with the warm afternoon glow basking them both in its fading light.
Leyla could only stand there in hopelessness as she watched him drift into sleep. She could never understand him, not his words, nor the actions he'd done. He was beyond her comprehension. He was the one who invited her over, even reminded her why she had to come.
And now he sets out a table filled with her favorite food, and falls asleep...
When he makes her go shopping and puts her shoes on for her
.. So Matthias knelt in front of her.
Leyla snapped her eyes up to meet his gaze, while the others gasped softly as they witnessed him kneeling. Matthias seemed indifferent to their audience, his attention solely on Leyla.
Before she could voice out her confusion, Matthias grabbed her by the ankles, gently removing her shoes, and put on the ones he'd chosen would fit her. Leyla soon snapped out of her confusion, the frustrated blush being replaced with a flustered red as she pulled her leg away from him, but he only grabbed it back to secure the shoes on her feet.
Even her feet looked so adorable, Matthias thought to himself with a smile.
.
When she leaves him .. “ as she should have at this point bc I needed to see him go full on crazy”
.. Nothing in his mind made any sense, nor became more important than finding Leyla. Day after day, Matthias found it harder and harder to get out of bed.
It wasn't until late in the morning that he finally rose out of bed. His eyes remained sunken despite the prolonged rest, his face hollow and sharp, his blue eyes dull and darker than before.
He dragged his feet towards the bathroom, where he stopped and looked at his reflection with a blank expression. His eyes were notably bloodshot, more indication of his restless night.
Lately he'd find himself laughing to himself, but nothing was funny. His chuckles and grins were all devoid of any emotion other than numbness…
Prevalent numbness.
How odd. He used to think his time with her was the highlight of his meager life. But it seemed as though, for her, he was her nightmare in the flesh.
How odd. Why did she see it like that?
He wanted her back with him, to see her laugh at his misery without her. He wanted to see her smile at the broken man she made him to be.
Even just like this, he needed to see her again. He wanted to see her again, even in his misery. Even if she hated him, he wanted her back.
And so he grit his teeth in anticipation, and his pace quickened as he continued walking around aimlessly…
Before he knew it, he reached the road back to Arvis. The familiar Platanus road in front of him beckons his calm, and the image of Leyla the last time he saw her appears in front of his eyes…
She was looking at him so earnestly, wishing for him to love her; it made him stumble in his steps as he drew closer to that spot once more. She's always been his magnet. He'd always been so drawn to her, that without her, he couldn't find his way back to sanity…
“Leyla, oh my Leyla,” he sighed wistfully pressing their foreheads together, “Don't do that, again. Do that again, and I won't promise to hold back anymore.” He pulled away and touched her lips with his hands…
“If you dare utter his name again,” he eyed her carefully, eyes turning dark as his gaze dropped to her lips, “If even a whisper of his name is out your lips, and I might just put a bullet through his head this time.”
So for his sake,” Matthias groaned, pressing their foreheads together once more, a hand cupping the back of her head to keep them connected as he leaned against her hard, “Don't ever say his name in my presence again.”
.
When he’s just so obsessed w her 🫠
... Matthias kept planting kisses all over her face. On her cheeks, the tip of her nose, behind her closed eyelids, and back on her forehead. He was so drunk in endorphins, he couldn't find it in himself to stop these soft affections he gave her.
Leyla's brows frowned, flinching her face away every now and then, her cute button nose wrinkling when he'd smoothen it out with another kiss again.
“Stop it.” she grumbled drowsily, with her eyes still closed.
“Say it again, Leyla…” He requested once more..
“Huh?” Leyla groggily asked, burying her face into his chest, muffling her voice.
“Say that you love me again.” He reiterated, “If you say that, I swear to give you everything you want.”
November 16, 2024
“Cry, Even Better I you Beg”😳😬😠😡🤬
I just found out the author is female! Female what? I can’t believe it. Maybe, she had a bad spell and wrote from experience. I’m praying for her. 🤲🙏🧎♀️➡️
DESCRIPTION:
“After losing her parents at the age of 12, Layla Llewellyn is passed from one uncaring relative to another until she's sent away to another country altogether. Arriving in the Empire of Berg, she is placed in the care of Bill Remmer, a gruff distant relative who seems to care for little else other than his work as a groundskeeper for the renowned Herhardt family. After years of neglect, all Layla wants is a place to call home, but her encounters with the dashing Duke Matthias von Herhardt and the rest of high society pose trials and tribulations for the tender-hearted girl. This series contains themes regarding child abuse that may not be suitable for all readers. Viewer discretion is advised.”
REVIEW WITH SPOILERS:
The title says it all. It describes the sadistic attitude of the male lead, Matthias, towards the main character, Leyla. The author explains it several times that the young, blue eyed duke Matthias is to the manner born and raised to take leadership of the duchy after the war deaths of both his father and grandfather. His cold personality and heavy responsibilities made him aloof, impersonal. He pays little attention to the subjects in his duchy except the gardner’s little orphaned relative, Leyla, who runs away every time he comes into view compared to the servants who fawn on him. Leyla smells the blood of the birds he had hunted on him. She hides and buries the dead birds every time after he is done hunting them. She was abused and starved by mean relatives who tossed her to the next nightmare relative. She empathizes with the weak, simple birds who are prey to the powerful.
Leyla finds nothing endearing about the duke. The duke takes it as a challenge to break her spirit. He returns from the army to find Leyla a beautiful teenager that still finds him repulsive. That starts the manipulation, coercion and blackmail the young duke sets into motion to destroy the will of the young girl. Because he will not tolerate her smiling only towards others.
The rest of the novel is repetitive nightly sadistic humiliation of Leyla by Matthias in a house in the woods behind the mansion. Absolute pedo behavior. The duke gets off to her pain and crying. He wants her to beg. The chapters all lead back to the domination and defilement. It lost all potential it had at the beginning.
It’s difficult to read because it’s not mutual consenting adults partaking in a nightly tryst under the moonlight. It’s a person in authority taking advantage of his position of power over a young virgin to defile her, inflict physical pain and emotional harm on her, in a much weaker position, all for his perverse pleasures. This goes on repeatedly the entire novel. The author wants readers to believe this is a form of endearment from the duke. Since, he’s new to love and got confused on how to show love! Yikes! The author is more confused than the characters.
The tides turn the last few chapters. The sweet romance only exists in the four epilogues and 18 side stories that show everyone in healthy relationships living happily ever after! It’s like two authors wrote the novel, one sadistic and one romantic. The sadistic one must have gotten flamed. The romantic one wrote the post production chapters to take the heat off the author is my guess. Luckily, it’s under 200 chapters.
Yeesh! 😬😥I’m still washing my eyeballs. Not recommended for the faint of heart.
I just found out the author is female! Female what? I can’t believe it. Maybe, she had a bad spell and wrote from experience. I’m praying for her. 🤲🙏🧎♀️➡️
DESCRIPTION:
“After losing her parents at the age of 12, Layla Llewellyn is passed from one uncaring relative to another until she's sent away to another country altogether. Arriving in the Empire of Berg, she is placed in the care of Bill Remmer, a gruff distant relative who seems to care for little else other than his work as a groundskeeper for the renowned Herhardt family. After years of neglect, all Layla wants is a place to call home, but her encounters with the dashing Duke Matthias von Herhardt and the rest of high society pose trials and tribulations for the tender-hearted girl. This series contains themes regarding child abuse that may not be suitable for all readers. Viewer discretion is advised.”
REVIEW WITH SPOILERS:
The title says it all. It describes the sadistic attitude of the male lead, Matthias, towards the main character, Leyla. The author explains it several times that the young, blue eyed duke Matthias is to the manner born and raised to take leadership of the duchy after the war deaths of both his father and grandfather. His cold personality and heavy responsibilities made him aloof, impersonal. He pays little attention to the subjects in his duchy except the gardner’s little orphaned relative, Leyla, who runs away every time he comes into view compared to the servants who fawn on him. Leyla smells the blood of the birds he had hunted on him. She hides and buries the dead birds every time after he is done hunting them. She was abused and starved by mean relatives who tossed her to the next nightmare relative. She empathizes with the weak, simple birds who are prey to the powerful.
Leyla finds nothing endearing about the duke. The duke takes it as a challenge to break her spirit. He returns from the army to find Leyla a beautiful teenager that still finds him repulsive. That starts the manipulation, coercion and blackmail the young duke sets into motion to destroy the will of the young girl. Because he will not tolerate her smiling only towards others.
The rest of the novel is repetitive nightly sadistic humiliation of Leyla by Matthias in a house in the woods behind the mansion. Absolute pedo behavior. The duke gets off to her pain and crying. He wants her to beg. The chapters all lead back to the domination and defilement. It lost all potential it had at the beginning.
It’s difficult to read because it’s not mutual consenting adults partaking in a nightly tryst under the moonlight. It’s a person in authority taking advantage of his position of power over a young virgin to defile her, inflict physical pain and emotional harm on her, in a much weaker position, all for his perverse pleasures. This goes on repeatedly the entire novel. The author wants readers to believe this is a form of endearment from the duke. Since, he’s new to love and got confused on how to show love! Yikes! The author is more confused than the characters.
The tides turn the last few chapters. The sweet romance only exists in the four epilogues and 18 side stories that show everyone in healthy relationships living happily ever after! It’s like two authors wrote the novel, one sadistic and one romantic. The sadistic one must have gotten flamed. The romantic one wrote the post production chapters to take the heat off the author is my guess. Luckily, it’s under 200 chapters.
Yeesh! 😬😥I’m still washing my eyeballs. Not recommended for the faint of heart.
February 28, 2024
Well.. I’m probably alone here, but I kinda like Matthias😭😭😭 I mean yeah, he was awful but he’s not a monster. He’s a very complex character actually. He just wasn’t prepared to love her that much.💀
The last part of the novel and the side stories… ugh, I’m dying! He went from bl00dy red flag to the greenest flag ever, I can’t 😭 I love them!😭
The last part of the novel and the side stories… ugh, I’m dying! He went from bl00dy red flag to the greenest flag ever, I can’t 😭 I love them!😭
November 2, 2023
absolutely terrible. leyla deserved way better than ending up with her abuser.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 11, 2024
The male lead is garbage.
January 12, 2025
TL;DR only read this if you are a hunter of the most indefensibly violent horrible human trash MMCs. Seriously not for the faint of heart
I read that the author of the accompanying webtoon wss apparently chased into hiding over this controversial male lead, which of course piqued my polite curiosity.
Y'all I was not prepared
I don't read Korean dark romance so I just didn't know what an unhinged, rabid mess this would be
The MMC is THE WORST. You'd think he's just a manipulative rapist (he is), but that's just the tip of the iceberg with Matty here. The way he keeps fantasizing about murdering the FMC? Indefensible yikes. And of course he keeps going with that line of thought when it turns out that . Anyway Dante would need to invent a new ring in hell for him! He's up there with the disgusting trash from {Stormfire by Christine Monson}.
I think fans of {The King by Eris Belmont} may enjoy this, but tread with caution. Belmont's villainous male lead is a gentle, caring teddy bear compared to this guy.
Needless to say, I was glued to the pages! I had to find out how much worse this guy could get and the answer was always YES
A note on the FMC: she has my sympathies for her terrible plight but tbh the way she does a 180 at one point has me reeling and I call BS
The side cast are actually kinda interesting, especially the rival fiancée who has her own agenda and doesn't give AF about Matty's adulterous activities so long as she remains in line to be Duchess (she's such a queen for that)
Matthias' cousin is also interesting and somewhat engaging
Leyla's childhood buddy Kyle, on the other hand, is a bit of a /nice guy/, which gave me the ick. He does come through later, but my initial assessment of him was not favorable.
I refuse to believe that an actual human translated the novel, because the phrasing is very odd and there are lots of inconsistencies between singular and plural in the same paragraph etc.
The story also draaaaaags, probably the way the weight of the MMCs sins are dragging him to hell
No way should a story like this ever be allowed to run over a thousand pages. But! That's just how webnovels earn money I guess.
Would I ever read anything by this author again? Haha hell no. This shaved years off my life expectancy and the ending made me mad!!
But I do think this MMC deserves an award or something. "Expectations are in hell but you somehow did worse!" Congrats buddy you really made it
Also good for the author to turn so many people against her MMC, although the amount of vitriol was probably shocking. Making people want to get their pitch-forks out to roast your character like a witch? Kudos
I read that the author of the accompanying webtoon wss apparently chased into hiding over this controversial male lead, which of course piqued my polite curiosity.
Y'all I was not prepared
I don't read Korean dark romance so I just didn't know what an unhinged, rabid mess this would be
The MMC is THE WORST. You'd think he's just a manipulative rapist (he is), but that's just the tip of the iceberg with Matty here. The way he keeps fantasizing about murdering the FMC? Indefensible yikes. And of course he keeps going with that line of thought when it turns out that . Anyway Dante would need to invent a new ring in hell for him! He's up there with the disgusting trash from {Stormfire by Christine Monson}.
I think fans of {The King by Eris Belmont} may enjoy this, but tread with caution. Belmont's villainous male lead is a gentle, caring teddy bear compared to this guy.
Needless to say, I was glued to the pages! I had to find out how much worse this guy could get and the answer was always YES
A note on the FMC: she has my sympathies for her terrible plight but tbh the way she does a 180 at one point has me reeling and I call BS
The side cast are actually kinda interesting, especially the rival fiancée who has her own agenda and doesn't give AF about Matty's adulterous activities so long as she remains in line to be Duchess (she's such a queen for that)
Matthias' cousin is also interesting and somewhat engaging
Leyla's childhood buddy Kyle, on the other hand, is a bit of a /nice guy/, which gave me the ick. He does come through later, but my initial assessment of him was not favorable.
I refuse to believe that an actual human translated the novel, because the phrasing is very odd and there are lots of inconsistencies between singular and plural in the same paragraph etc.
The story also draaaaaags, probably the way the weight of the MMCs sins are dragging him to hell
No way should a story like this ever be allowed to run over a thousand pages. But! That's just how webnovels earn money I guess.
Would I ever read anything by this author again? Haha hell no. This shaved years off my life expectancy and the ending made me mad!!
But I do think this MMC deserves an award or something. "Expectations are in hell but you somehow did worse!" Congrats buddy you really made it
Also good for the author to turn so many people against her MMC, although the amount of vitriol was probably shocking. Making people want to get their pitch-forks out to roast your character like a witch? Kudos
January 17, 2024
DNF
This had soo much potential 🫤 I got so many vibes of Anne With An E when reading this book. I was so excited. The art was splendid in the manhwa. The writing style is not like the other novels that I've read from Korean authors.
It wasn't dry or overly done. It was perfect. It gave me magical feelings for this book that I was so pushed to read until the end.
But I couldn't.
Why? Oh, because it isn't romance but felt like a horror story.
We open with the scene of our beloved sweet Leyla, whose parents died, so she was pushed to go from house to house to beg her relatives to stay. But a lot of them refused. Finally, she was given a place to stay in with a middle-aged man named Bill Remmer.
As she is adjusting to her new environment, she meets the future Duke Matthias. See, Leyla is a bird lover. And even when he knew about it, he still shoots the birds down, regardless of her feelings. Fast forward to Layla becoming 18, we see that the Duke returns and finds that Leyla has become a "woman." So now, he torments her even more.
In the novel, he says that making Leyla cry makes his day. He 'claims' that her cries and tears are his and only his. Only he can bully and torment Leyla 😒 if that isn't a psychotic thing to say, then I don't know what is.
After this, sorry not sorry, but I couldn't control it, so I skipped some chapters and saw Spoilers. And bruh, I'm not even surprised that this Matthias guy raped Leyla. He emotionally manipulated her, threatened her with Uncle Bill, bullied her, and YET this girl manages to fall in love with this guy? Is she crazy?
Well, anyway, I wouldn't have minded if Matthias was the only guy around but we literally have an angel here since her childhood!
Yes, this guy is Kyle Ettman, who has almost supportive parents compared to that of Matthias, kind and gentle, and he even took the job as a doctor because Leyla likes people who save others! Oh gosh, kill me rn cuz if a guy like this was around me, I would marry him right then and there. I love him so much, but in the end, Leyla rejects his marriage proposal and ends up with a psychopath. Bffr.
Why Why Why Why Why????
This had soo much potential 🫤 I got so many vibes of Anne With An E when reading this book. I was so excited. The art was splendid in the manhwa. The writing style is not like the other novels that I've read from Korean authors.
It wasn't dry or overly done. It was perfect. It gave me magical feelings for this book that I was so pushed to read until the end.
But I couldn't.
Why? Oh, because it isn't romance but felt like a horror story.
We open with the scene of our beloved sweet Leyla, whose parents died, so she was pushed to go from house to house to beg her relatives to stay. But a lot of them refused. Finally, she was given a place to stay in with a middle-aged man named Bill Remmer.
As she is adjusting to her new environment, she meets the future Duke Matthias. See, Leyla is a bird lover. And even when he knew about it, he still shoots the birds down, regardless of her feelings. Fast forward to Layla becoming 18, we see that the Duke returns and finds that Leyla has become a "woman." So now, he torments her even more.
In the novel, he says that making Leyla cry makes his day. He 'claims' that her cries and tears are his and only his. Only he can bully and torment Leyla 😒 if that isn't a psychotic thing to say, then I don't know what is.
After this, sorry not sorry, but I couldn't control it, so I skipped some chapters and saw Spoilers. And bruh, I'm not even surprised that this Matthias guy raped Leyla. He emotionally manipulated her, threatened her with Uncle Bill, bullied her, and YET this girl manages to fall in love with this guy? Is she crazy?
Well, anyway, I wouldn't have minded if Matthias was the only guy around but we literally have an angel here since her childhood!
Yes, this guy is Kyle Ettman, who has almost supportive parents compared to that of Matthias, kind and gentle, and he even took the job as a doctor because Leyla likes people who save others! Oh gosh, kill me rn cuz if a guy like this was around me, I would marry him right then and there. I love him so much, but in the end, Leyla rejects his marriage proposal and ends up with a psychopath. Bffr.
Why Why Why Why Why????
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