Trash Talk: The Only Book About Destroying Your Rivals That Isn't Total Garbage

by Rafi Kohan

“You’re mad at me, but I am killing you.”—NBA star Gary Payton

“Find the hate.”—NFL star Warren Sapp

“Why can’t you be more like Rafi Kohan?”—your mom, probably


Whether in basketball, football, or MMA, athletes talk trash to each other—and sometimes to fans—like it’s their job. And in some ways, it is: sports only matter if we decide to care about them. And insulting your opponent, or playing the heel, is probably the fastest route to making someone care. Talking smack is as old as the bible; it’s perhaps the original sport.

But until now, there’s never been a book about it.

In this lively, often hilarious history, Rafi Kohan interviews some of the world’s top competitors—on the petty rivalries and mind games that fuel them. He talks to point guards and soccer strikers, cricketers and insult comedians, forming a theory along the way about the surprising and influential role that name-calling plays in our world.

Brilliantly original and wide-ranging, Trash Talk is a book for sports fans, culture mavens, or anyone looking to get an edge.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sports, Humor

359 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 5, 2023

Reviews

[Jason Pippi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even if YOU could read something longer than a takeout menu, “Trash Talk” by @kohanimal would probably be too hard to comprehend 🔥 But for me it was a breeze, and easily one of my favorite #nonfiction books on my shelf.

The book takes a deep dive into the history of trash talk - tracing the art back to David and Goliath and connecting it to present day sports, entertainment, and politics.

When I picked the book up, I thought it would be a how to guide, but loved that it served up so many hilarious and vicious anecdotes to help bolster Kohan’s theories about trash talk. One of my favorites being a footnote about the Talmud:

“A particularly delightful trash-talk exchange in the Talmud comes in Bava Metzia 84a, when a woman insults a couple of overweight rabbis by telling them their children can't be their own because they're too fat to have sex, and they respond by boasting about the size of their dicks, saying: ‘or as the man is, so is his strength.’”

What I didn’t expect was the two deeper messages I gleaned. One being the racist origins of the term trash talk, pointing out that white culture needed a label to identify and name its discomfort. The second was a bit of a warning of how Trumpism has altered the landscape of where the line of being uncivil lies. It felt the whole book, even though very sports focused, was written as a cautionary tale coming into the 2024 election - begging us to hold fast against aggressive rhetoric to shell save our democracy.

I can’t fathom the time and amount of research that went into this book, because each page was full of interviews with famous trash talkers, Kohan’s experiences across the country are military bases and wrestling schools, and boatloads of scientific and academic research.

But the book never felt slow or bogged down. Kohan masterfully presented all his information; something about his wording felt like I was watching a video series on YouTube.

My January #bookstagram theme is #selfimprovwment, and reading this book helped me understand a few key things about myself and how I interact with people. Trash talk can come from a place of respect and empathy. You truly have to listen to an understand a person to interact with him in this way. And I love the way Kohan laid out trash talk as a mechanism to challenge people to work harder which in turn makes you work harder. Got to back up the trash you’ve talked.

The messages and examples of mental toughness have really set the tone for 2024

Thanks to @publicaffairsbooks for gifting a copy of this amazing book that you should grab from your #localbookshop.

[Santiago Pardo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining book if you like sports but it’s more a book full of anecdotes and stories and unless you’re a pro athlete there’s not much here applicable to everyday life.

[Daniel Meyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Rafi Kohan’s first book about stadiums and peripheral sport culture and enjoyed his style of writing. But in this next iteration, I could feel the author growing in his craft as both an auteur and journalist.

This book resonated with me in many ways, especially as a sports fan who aspired to be like so many athletes I celebrated over the the years, making me realize two important things: 1) I would never actually want to be the kind of person they were in order to accomplish great things, no matter what success is sacrificed; and 2) how much I still admire and respect their accomplishments and achievements, knowing that my own aspirations could very much benefit from their templates of desire, focus, and unapologetic presence.

It’s not an easy feat to tell the story of trash talkers in a way that is both honest and also humanizing, gracious without being unreflective, cringeworthy but also deeply relatable. This book is both a proud celebration and a sobering documentation of many of my role models growing up—helping me to see them, as Mary Wollstonecraft once commented all the way back in the 18th century, neither as heroes nor villains, but reasonable creatures. Anything, indeed, is possible!

[M.B. G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chock full of insights, Kohan Brings a fresh lens to both long familiar and little known rivalries and personalities, taking seriously the potential value of “trash talk” in a variety of fields. Kohans voluminous research is weaved tightly together, making meaningful connections throughout, His analytical talents on full display, when establishing connections, between seemingly desperate fields like seer training, and basketball. Written with humor and at time with poetic touches, it is a highly readable, very enjoyable book that will have me looking at sports, comedy, and competition, more broadly, in new ways.

[Tricia Friedman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Picked this up on a whim (thank you librarians for your recommendations!) and it was an incredible read that I found fascinating.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun read, surprisingly insightful and clever. It’s
got everything you want and nothing you don’t. Great gift for sports-loving friends and family. Another great read from this author.

[Lisa Gisèle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a complimentary copy of this book via Netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are my own opinions.

I enjoyed the stories in Trash Talk, especially the ones that setw place in the Pro Wrestling world. An interesting book about the reasons people use trash talk and how it gave them an identity and helped their career.

It's really interesting, especially in a physiologically standpoint

[Bilal · Rating 5 out of 5]

A comprehensive study of competitive incivility.

[Hedy Weiner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a sports-fanatic husband and am uninterested in watching sports, but I am interested in psychology and politics. This witty and intelligent book really held my interest and gave us both something to enjoy and talk about. I read it to be able to talk about it with my husband, but also because of how upset I've been about the increasing trash talk that seems to be everywhere. I was fascinated by how relevant its applications are to politics now and historically, and by the idea of positive trash talk! Trash Talk: The Only Book About Destroying Your Rivals That Isn't Total Garbage is about mental/emotional combat and we all experience that more frequently. This book helps us understand how to maintain our cool and accept or even enjoy it. I highly recommend it as not only a fascinating read, but as a really fun one!

[Downward · Rating 3 out of 5]

lots of nonfiction books essentially find a premise and nail it down in one take and then spend all subsequent chapters with different examples of that premise. it's not the worst way to do things but the lack of evolution of concept keeps the book from really having an engine, all the compelling gas used up near immediately. this book gets a little more life at the end by applying the trash talk concept to our current political moment and showing how we got there, but it does little more than just explain: in competitive circumstances people like talking shit. they do it to throw their opponents off their game, but the reality is that many opponents are motivated by trash talk and it functions in to the opposite of its intent. the best parts of this book are the actual examples of trash talk used, but some of the anthropological stuff in here doesn't really do it for me.

[Jaiden · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel like this book presents an incomplete biased picture. First of all in the entire book almost everyone is a straight guy which I think is weird given most insults reference sexuality and masculinity especially in sports. Also why is almost every discussion centered on sports or comedy both of which are male dominated spaces. I know women trash talk so where are their voices? I found this whole book disappointing especially the discussions around line crossing because while the author does admit that lines can be crossed he never actually delves into what makes a joke cross a line. Because there can be jokes about gender that aren’t ok but get said without consequences vice versa. Overall very disappointing.

[Brendan Flaherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is fascinating. The writer sublimated the topics of sports and trash talk into something much bigger. It's about psychology and humanity--who we are as people and what makes us tick, succeed and fail. The scene setting is impeccable, detailed and urgent. And the amount of just flat-out interesting information is amazing. Did you know, for example, that fear actually has a scent, and it smells like onions and garlic? Kohan's conversations with military SERE trainers explains why. If you ever dream of competing on Jeopardy or at least pulling a Good Will Hunting on your most hated sports fan, check this out and then proceed to destroy them.

[Seth A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent read from an author who clearly pours everything he has into his work - beautifully written, extensively researched and a wonderful look into the world of Trash Talk. This book is more than just about sports (don't worry there are plenty of anecdotes from really famous athletes as well) - it really is about how human beings have dealt with obstacles, challenges, other people, and our own minds over time and in all sorts of situations. A wonderful read from Mr. Kohan on his second book (check about The Arena by him as well)!

[Rayfes Mondal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Balanced discussion about the reason, pros, and cons of so-called trash talk. Ends with a little bit of political discussion. I'd rather see more civility. I don't know many of the specific athletes discussed so it didn't hit as deeply for me.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you are into sports or not, this is a fascinating — and fun read. More importantly, the topic is so relevant today. Where is your line? Read and think about it.

[Adam Rubin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kohan explores the hilariously vast universe of psychological gamesmanship—from sports, to comedy, to politics, and beyond—to reveal surprising wisdom from the greatest sh*t talkers of all time.

[Sam Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A ton of great anecdotes but could have been 50 pages shorter. Still worth a read.

[Ryan Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate this book not just for trash talk stories, but for the psychological analyses employed to disseminate The reasons for and the value of different forms of talk.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting that there's an entire sub-culture to most major sports. This was an excellent and eye-opening view of something that I only thought of as a passive part of sports.