Bis zum letzten Atemzug

by Anne Swärd, Sabine Neumann (Translator)

Spiel nicht mit dem Feuer, nimm dich in acht vor der Liebe, warnt die Mutter, aber sie sagt nie, warum. Lo, die Tochter, muß es selbst herausfinden. Sie ist ein Wildfang, ein Hippiemädchen ohne Hippieeltern. Als Kind lernt sie Lukas kennen, der doppelt so alt ist wie sie; gemeinsam gehen sie durch dick und dünn. Sie wissen: Wir sind füreinander bestimmt. Es brennt im Dorf, als sie sich begegnen, und es wird wieder brennen, wenn sie sich trennen. Denn sie wird Lukas verlassen, wie sie auch Yoel verlassen wird und all die anderen Männer, denen sie in der Welt begegnet und eine Weile folgt. In Stockholm, Krakau, Budapest, New York. Sie weiß, daß sie Lukas, ihre große Liebe, verraten hat. Und macht sich auf die Suche nach ihm.

Genres: Fiction, Scandinavian Literature, Swedish Literature, Literary Fiction, Contemporary, Novels, Romance

345 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2009

About the author

Anne Swärd is a Swedish writer born in 1969. She made her debut as a novelist in 2003 with Polarsommar (Arctic Summer), which earned her an August Prize nomination.

Since 2019 she is a member of the Swedish Academy on chair 13.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, I gotta confess. I entered this Goodreads giveaway purely because I LOVE THE COVER. I didn't even read the description, just pressed the Enter to Win button. And boy, oh, boy, did I ever pay the price for that.

This is the story of the "special" relationship between young Lo, and Lukas, a boy more than twice her age.

There was a nice, mystical, fairy tale quality early on in the book. Lo grows up in a house surrounded by a horde of relatives, and spends seemingly endless summers in the company of her friend...BUT, as in real life, the magic fades away when sex rears its horny head. Maybe I've read too many book lately featuring scenes of statutory rape (Swamplandia!, The Dust of 100 Dogs), but this "innocent and pure friendship" kind of creeped me out. Let me tell you, if I caught my 11-year-old daughter swimming naked with an 18-year-old boy/man - (sound of pump action rifle) - I can guarantee he's not coming out of the water with all the parts he jumped in with.

Even if you can get past the icky, "innocent and pure" naked-kids-sleeping-together stuff, the author constantly jumps around from Lo's childhood to her present day sexual escapades, back to childhood again, occasionally interrupted by stories from her mother's youth. Just when you're starting to get interested in a particular storyline, it's a sure bet that the next paragraph will be about something else.

I DID read the entire book. It DID NOT get any better. Three days spent wishing I was reading something else.
I learned my lesson. READ THE DESCRIPTION!

But, DAMN! It IS a lovely cover, isn't it?

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

Books are like lovers. Sometimes it's just a one night stand, the bestseller you flirt with and read the first five pages at a Barnes & Noble. There are the used paperbacks at the library or local bookstore that you leaf through but ultimately put back on the shelf. There are books that from a distance make you googly-eyed. It never gets intimate, though. But the book you actually commit to and read undergoes a magical transformation. You digest the words until they become your own, when in fact they have to become your own, which all good writing does. Lying with your love, listening to the stories you've never heard before. You smell the pages like the nape of her neck. You hold it, nourish it, like the head of your lover on your lap after a hard day. You stick with it, you engage and marry (or if you don't believe in all that contractual bullshit, you mate forever like a pair of lions), and you keep the book in your memory for the rest of time, even if you lose it while canoeing upstate. And if the book begins to wane, like most things do, you let it go, you give it back its freedom, you become suddenly enamored by the books listed under "C."

Ultimately, Breathless loses its hypnotic powers, too. It's as if Anne Swärd (in this, her English debut) didn't save her best for last. Meaning: the beginning of this relatively short novel is like the first couple of dates when you're really trying to impress someone. The simplicity of a child's mind (Lo's, our protagonist) slowly deteriorates into debauchery and that kind of leave-it-up-to-fate writing that sets my nerve endings on fire.

The moral of the story: Selfish and naive women are selfish and naive. "You're such a beauty, do you know that?" I nod. And cocky too, I can see in his eyes that he likes that and so on until you ruin a ten-year relationship just because you want to experiment and try new things. Obviously, an unlikable protagonist can and should work. But what happens when the author doesn't think she's all that unlikable to begin with?

Lo's childlike innocence becomes a wanted ignorance by the time she grows up. Her freedom (as she plays with the older Lukas in the country cottage) becomes a directionless intolerance to anything stationary. God. I thought for a second or two that Swärd was just showing us the radical transformation between child and adult, making us inspect our own perceptions of decency, but in the end we're offered no answers from the main character, whose main prerogative aims a steady arrow at just screwing shit up for no apparent reason. (You see, it's real deep if the author doesn't give you any answers, which you have to wring out for yourself.)

There's this large chunk toward the end (25-45 pages) where we're tortured by a letter from Lukas Lo won't open. She thinks about it, fucks a douche bag in New York, tours Europe some because she's a bohemian at heart, blah blah blah, and we don't really give a damn because of that letter that's gathering dust by the minute. If the payoff is good, well, then maybe it serves it's purpose, but just a head's up: it's not. Inevitably the secret letter is a cheap tactic that attempts to offer the reader a hint of mystery, but 40 pages in we begin to rebel against her.

"You can be whatever you want," Mama had said. "I want to be someone else." "No, you can only be yourself." Myself? Why would I want to be that? That is what I was already. It would have been more interesting, at least justifiably so, if Lo had a known psychological problem that'd been addressed. Maybe she's retarded or something. That'd patch up a bunch of things.

What I do like about the book are few and far between.

1) The differing tenses. From varying third person pasts to first person presents, we're wrapped up in the world and psyche and cumulative understanding of Lo's world. Mama would like to weave the web of my fate--like the cosmic spider drawing all humans together with umbilical-cord thread, entwining them into the huge pattern We zip to one timeline only a few pages later to come back. Adulthood and childhood. Sudden dimensional blips take place between half inch intermediaries.

2) The writing. Anne Swärd is much more than competent, even if varying chapters begin to taper off.

And I think that's about it.

Now for some other major gripes.

The scenes are way too short. I get what she was going for, maybe, that the quickness of them would give the book a diary-like abbreviation, as if they were being documented in some grand memory log instead of a piece of fiction. But I think the reader needs more time to breathe. They want the world to breathe. Take for instance when Lukas and Lo go into the city to celebrate her birthday. They get a hotel room and she gets wasted. They dance a little and then she blacks out. If Swärd is trying to give us the impression that Lukas wasn't a good boy when Lo slipped into unconsciousness then it completely flew over my head. Instead, it's implied that things just couldn't be magical, after all. The detail we needed is sparse. Zoom to the end of the book and then Lo opens the letter. It says, simply, I didn't want to hurt you, which by that point could mean a hell of a lot of things. It could even mean that Lukas (because of their vast age difference) had been abusing her all along, and she'd done her best to repress these memories that ultimately spilled over into her romantic life with various scumbags, and that Lukas only acted out on Lo, like a dissected frog in Biology class, because of his own abusive father, and so on and so forth, a different kind of web that lacks the garden of earthly delights we thought it was going to be. That's dandy. But Swärd doesn't even really dangle this notion in front of us so much as makes you desperately search for your own reasons, real or not. Like she'd given up halfway through writing the book.

And that's Breathless in a nutshell. It is Lo in book form. And in some kind of sick reversal of fortune you end up dumping the thing with a heavy thud when you're done with it. You feel guilty because its intentions are good, but you can't help but move on.

[IzamaRi H. Fabela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aún sigo sin saber que sentir respecto a este libro. Una parte de mí lo ama al ver la gran historia que la autora fue entretejiendo a mi alrededor pero ese final... supongo que soy una romántica empedernida que esperaba que al final todo se arreglara pero nop, sólo me provocó un odio intenso hacia la protagonista.

[Anne Dahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anne Swärdiltä olen lukenut nyt kaiken mitä on suomennettu. Kaikki alkoi teoksesta Jackie. Olin siihen teokseen aivan myyty. Oli vaikea ymmärtää miten upeasti Swärd osasi rakentaa koko teoksen ajaksi valtavan jännitteisen pahan enteen. Hän on osannut sen tehdä myös teoksissaan Vera sekä Kerran kesällä.

Nyt luin Viimeiseen hengenvetoon ja edelleen, Swärd osaa ja teos, se on niin hieno!

Ollaan 1970-luvulla, eteläisessä Ruotsissa, jonne pohjoisesta muuttaa kaksi pariskuntaa lapsineen. Päähenkilöksi Swärd kirjoittaa koko porukan pienimmäisen, tyttären nimeltä Lo, joka seitsemän vanhana tapaa metsäpaloa katselevan naapurin pojan Lukasin, joka muuttaa tytön elämän, halusi tytön perhe sitä tai ei.

En paljasta juonta (vaan suosittelen lukemaan), mutta jos teoksessa kumarretaan kunnioittavasti Jean-Luc Godarin elokuvaan Viimeiseen hengenvetoon ja rakkaus ja ristiriidat raastavat niin nuorten kuin Lukasin ja Lon vanhempien elämää, tiedossa on jo Swärdin tavaramerkiksi (itselleni ) muodostuneet
epätavalliset henkilöhahmot, he, joista on vaikea pitää, he, joiden motiiveja on vaikea ymmärtää -
ja ehkä juuri siksi tämäkin teos kiehtoo, pitää todellakin hyppysissään.
Vaikka tapahtumia riittää (ja lukija ihmettelee, miten nämä lapset sekoilevat koulunkäyntinsä näin, kaikkien näiden aikuisten keskellä - etenkin Lo siis) ja henkilöhahmot koettavat selvitä tunnekuohuissaan, tällä kertaa Swärd - jännitettä menettämättä - mielestäni myös pysähtelee, jarruttelee, antaa lukijalle hengityksen hetket, asettaa lukijan maisemaan, ääniin tuoksuihin, mielentiloihinkin ja samaan aikaan, pahan enne leijuu tekstin yllä, lomassa ja tapahtumien alla.
Hieno hieno teos. Ei ihme, että Anne Swärd on August-palkittu kirjailija!

[Marse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Una novela distinta, tierna, dulce cruel, cruda y sin filtros.

[Mirella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Breathless is novel about a young woman named Lo. Through flashbacks, she looks back on her past and her past relationship with a young boy named Lukas. She first meets him when she is five and he is thirteen. Although her family is desperate to keep her away from Lukas, their friendship endures and becomes much deeper. When they become adults, they move away from their small town and live together, pursuing careers and other relationships.

This award winning Swedish novel has been translated into English for the international market. Readers must bear in mind that this is very much a literary novel because of its unique style of prose and story structure. The tale does not unfold chronologically. Rather, it skips back and forth through time by way of flashback. This makes the story difficult to follow and can make it a challenging read.

The novel is about misunderstood lovers, lost innocence, and individual freedoms. The characters, their motivations, their behaviors are very unique and unusual. The writing is very deep with powerful messages within. This novel is not for everyone. Rather, I would recommend this novel to those readers who truly enjoy unusual literary fiction written with a unique and distinctive voice.

[Pangaea Pangaea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although some readers feel that the story was hard to follow, I found it intriguing to have my mind challenged. I pick up to many books that undermine my intelligence and celebrate when a writer has the courage to spin a story less linear and more spiral.

I could not put the book down until I turned the last page. Simply stunning story telling by this Swedish author. The novel unfolds in a poetic sweetness seldom experienced. Even after I was done I had to twist the puzzle pieces this way and that way to sort through all the layers of this intricate spider web. It appealed to my Pippi Longstocking love for adventure and freedom; even when it comes with a steep price.

[melodusk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Një histori rritjeje...ose mbase çlirimi nga një rritje e parakohshme në një tregim që të mban frymën deri në faqen e fundit. Qënie të kundërta. Sinqeritet i pafajshëm. Dashuri naive, mendime naive, kohë e pakohë. Një dashuri jo e zakonshme që kalon ngjyrime të ndryshme mes pluhurit, dëshirës për t'u larguar nga ndotja. Sa të vegjël jemi kur qëndrojmë në pusin e të paditurës, sa zhgënjehemi kur ndjejmë që kemi marrë ngjyrimet e saj...sa të pafuqishëm jemi përballë epsheve të jetës!
Shpërbërje e të pandashmes. Shthurje. Pre e së paditurës. E pastaj, atë çka kemi humbur dashur padashur e kërkojmë kudo... në një rrugëtim harkor të trazuar, pa destinacion. Por asnjë pafundësi arsyesh nuk mund të formësojë ashklat e asaj çka i vënë flakën.
Ky roman të çon në një rrugëtim pa fill, të dy botëve të vogla që trazohen nga boshllëku i njëra - tjetrës. Dhe s'ka se si të jetë një trillim definitivisht, diku në atë boshllëk ka vend edhe për ne.

[Nicole Decristofaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to skip a synopsis because if you want to know what the book is about you should just read the description provided, along with all the other rants below. I would have to disagree with the majority of reviews below. I'm not one to contribute to these types of discussions but I will say that if people walk away from this book and curse themselves for wasting their time, I think they missed the point. I think they missed the beauty of her words, her descriptions and her ability to evoke an emotion that most people have never and will never understand. This book stands in a category of it's own and I don't think there is another out there to compare it to.

[Cobb · Rating 5 out of 5]

El amor es algo que nos sobreviene, como una fiebre o una quiebra económica; no, era una fiebre que arrasaba el cuerpo por más que ella se esforzase en refrescarlo por fuera. ✔



Él la recordaba de siempre. Idun había existido siempre, como la respiración, igual de obvia, aunque uno no fuera consciente de su existencia, no podría sobrevivir sin ella. A pesar de todo, él deseaba a veces poder recordar cómo fue el momento en que se enamoró de ella, había días en que le habría hecho falta ese recuerdo. ✔



Viajo lejos de la soledad al interior de la soledad. La soledad no es sino una ausencia de compañía a la que hay que acostumbrarse, hasta que se convierte en una compañía en sí misma. ✔


si uno no quiere demasiado es que no quiere lo suficiente ✔


El deseo de hombre y el miedo, quizá no sea dentro de mí donde deba separar los sentimientos, es a los hombres a quienes hay que distinguir, a los unos de los otros. Pero ¿cómo saberlo? ¿Cómo se nota? ¿Señales? No hay que sospechar de nadie sin necesidad, pero un solo descuido puede resultar una catástrofe. Es más fácil con todas las demás cosas de las que me previno mi madre, todas las autopistas son peligrosas, en todos los lagos te puedes ahogar, las serpientes se dividen en venenosas y no venenosas, pero los hombres… sencillamente, no se sabe. Es una inseguridad con la que hay que vivir. Por lo que yo recuerdo, nunca me previno contra los desconocidos o contra el sexo no seguro, como otras madres. Solo contra el amor.


  Decido que voy a confiar en él, luego intento verlo bajo esa luz. Sin confianza estamos muertos, o, al menos, daría lo mismo estarlo, pero si confías demasiado también te arriesgas a no vivir mucho tiempo. Hombres incapaces de aceptar un no, hombres que jamás han aceptado un no, o bien hombres que han resuelto no volver a aceptar un no en su vida, que con la próxima chica que les diga no, harán lo que quieran de todos modos. ✔



La mayoría de las personas juegan sus mejores cartas al principio, luego es mejor que los caminos se aparten con la ilusión intacta. Una ilusión no es exactamente una mentira, es la verdad de sí misma por un segundo, mientras queda oxígeno en la burbuja flotante. Un hombre que es agradable una noche es agradable de verdad allí y entonces, aunque en su vida normal sea un cerdo, aunque antes y después de aquella noche siempre haya sido y siempre siga siendo un cerdo. ✅



La leña es su elemento, el acero que hiende el aire que hiende la madera que hiende el silencio. ✔



La prueba de que Lukas era todo menos un amigo inocente, que aquello que se manifestaba como algo más o menos sano cuando tenía trece años, había crecido hasta convertirse en un peligro, ahora que había cumplido los dieciséis. Nos vigilaban constantemente sus miradas suspicaces, no podíamos relajarnos, nuestros juegos de niños empezaron a convertirse en teatro y eso nos quitaba las ganas de todo, el juego perdía su natural travesura infantil. Si ninguno de los dos se retiraba, nos hundiríamos juntos. Hasta el último aliento, ahora recordé la frase, era de una película que terminaba con que el uno traicionaba al otro, aunque nunca alcancé a comprender por qué ✔




Me bautizaron el día del Ángel de la Guarda, en octubre de 1969, un año de esperanza con algo de hybris flotando en el aire. La Luna ya no estaba tan lejos, lucía con el mismo resplandor solitario, pero, tras haberla pisado el hombre, parecía menos lejana en medio de la oscuridad planetaria. El año en que el hombre llegó a la Luna fue, según la abuela, el último en que aún podía superarse a sí mismo en algo que no fuese la necedad.


  Mi primer recuerdo es un intenso resplandor enfocado justo hacia mi persona. Siempre me ha gustado pensar que era el sol, pero seguramente sería la lámpara del techo vista desde abajo mientras me pasaban de un regazo a otro en una cocina llena de gente. Tantos brazos… y, aun así, no me sentía atrapada. Una luz tan intensa, y solo me iluminaba a mí. Los adultos se calentaban las manos conmigo, me frotaban la nuca con la nariz para inspirar el aroma a vida nueva, me besaban uno tras otro, como si yo fuese una clavícula santa guardada en un relicario.


  Nadie se explicaba cómo pudieron engendrarme a mí, en qué rincón oscuro de aquella casa enorme pudo suceder, la casa donde mis padres y sus hermanos vivían como una familia. Sencillamente, tuvieron que acostumbrarse a la idea. Mis tíos y tías, tan jóvenes, me llevaban de un lado a otro. No era eso lo que pretendían, que yo naciera, pero puesto que existía, tejían en torno a mi oscura cabeza toda una red de sueños y expectativas de los que yo, por suerte, no era consciente. Yo solo debía preocuparme de existir. Un buque tan sobrecargado de expectativas sería una compañía demasiado pesada para una niña tan pequeña.

[Sabine Forsell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nejnejnej, detta föll inte mig i saken!

Så mycket i den här boken som va jobbigt, osannolikt och tragiskt. Jag lyssnade på den som ljudbok men jag fick verkligen kämpa mig igenom alla minutrar. Det fanns inget som riktigt grep tag i mig och jag blev aldrig nyfiken på vad som skulle hända sen.

[Ricki Treleaven · Rating 3 out of 5]

Happy All Saints' Day {and November}!!! This week I read Breathless by Anne Swärd. I truly need something light and cheerful to read next week (like the book Patty sent me) but I'm reading a couple of book club selections so I'm not counting on happy endings anytime soon! *sadface*

Oh, if you could only truly judge a book by its cover. I'll admit that I saw this book on the new and recommended shelf at the library, and I immediately picked it up and read the book flap. Anne Swärd is hailed as "a major Swedish talent" (there have been several wonderful books written by Swedes lately...especially crime dramas) who "tells a modern fairy tale about the embrace of family" (well, okay, that might be true, but it would have been nice if incest and pedophilia were mentioned). Plus I love fairy tales, and frankly I just don't see how this novel can be compared to a fairy tale. Breathless is a coming of age story about Lo, the daughter from an unconventional Swedish family and Lukas, a Hungarian immigrant. The two meet while their small southern Swedish village burns from a fire set by Lukas: he's thirteen and Lo is only six. Lukas lives with his abusive father Gábriel who doesn't speak Swedish and speaks so infrequently to Lukas in Hungarian that he eventually loses the ability to understand it. Lo lives with her parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. There are so many people who love Lo and look out for her that she sometimes feels she "belongs to no one."

Lo's family members are justifiably creeped out over the age difference between the pair. They never trust Lukas, yet Lo spends so much time with him in a quirky cabin by the lake that once belonged to a pearl fisher. The cabin contains exotic memorabilia from around the world, and Lukas and Lo make it their refuge from too many adult eyes in Lo's case and a father whose preferred method for communication is his fist in Lukas' case. They have an innocent friendship and enjoy swimming (naked), napping (naked), and quoting lines (acting out scenes) from the movie Breathless starring Jean Seberg. Now, if I had caught one of my daughters at the age of nine with a sixteen year old swimming naked I'd go postal on the teenaged perverted perp and ask questions later. And Lo's mother is chopping wood with a very sharp ax in almost every single scene that mentions her. Lukas must be intellectually challenged. Innocence indeed....but there are similar scenes between Lo and her youngest uncle Rikard, and Lo's mother when she was young with her father-in-law. Confused yet? More about that later.

There are many parallels to the movie Breathless and Seberg's life throughout the novel which adds to its poignancy. What I can't understand is how in the world Lo could spend so much time alone with Lukas in a cabin if her family were truly that concerned about their friendship. But "the setting is the 1970's, a time of innocence in Sweden" according to Swärd. I just wonder if this is a language/translation issue because there's a huge difference between innocence and neglect in English.

On Lo's fifteenth birthday, Lukas buys a car and takes her on a trip to the Tivoli Pleasure Gardens in Copenhagen. (Now, I'd just like to see any 23 year old stupid enough to try to take my 16 year old on an overnight trip out of town. You'd be reading about it in the papers I'm sure once I'd finished with him.) Exhausted and high from too much cotton candy and beer, Lo falls asleep, and a trust is broken. I still have no idea what happened between Lukas and Lo, but her virtue wasn't harmed according to the narrative, and I just don't get why the rift started on this trip. The narrative in this book is very murky because it's very disjointed. Told in flashback, I read the novel carefully, and I don't think I could place each vignette into the correct chronological order on a bet. It's as if Lo poured all her memories in a pensieve and randomly retrieved them in no particular order. Told mostly from Lo's point of view, her voice is unique, but selfish toward the reader. She doesn't reveal the how of things, and rarely the why. I guess what kept me reading is the imagery, and I suppose that some credit belongs to the translator Deborah Bragan-Turner. I read an interview with Swärd, and her background is in the visual arts. This makes perfect sense and also explains why I kept reading a very dark, confusing, and evocative story.

I do think that this book would be a great selection for a book club because there is so much to discuss and dissect, from the repetitive theme of fire, to the breathless moments from childhood that are sometimes suppressed. And maybe it takes a group to figure out this book. I could really use your help if you've read it. I'd love to discuss it with someone but I haven't been able to find anyone who's read it yet. But then again, I don't know if the "ick" factor is worth it. You'd probably be better off reading Swamplandia! because there's nothing murky about the plot.

[Angie Simmonds · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lo was just six when she met thirteen-year-old Lukas the night a brushfire threatened their community. Both the children of immigrants, both wild with love for the land, theirs was an easy friendship despite the fierce injunctions of Lo’s family. Meeting in secret at an abandoned lake house, they whiled away their summers in the water and their winters curled up inside, reenacting dialogue from their favorite film, Breathless.

How a friendship so innocent and pure—and so strictly forbidden—could be destroyed is a mystery that unfolds across Lo’s travels from Berlin to Copenhagen to New York, from tryst to tryst, as she seems fated to roam the outside world she blames for tearing her and Lukas apart. Haunting, resonant, full of humor and heartrending depth, Breathless explores how childhood acts can stake an unimpeachable claim on our older selves, and how atonement might be wrest from the past.

How do I even begin to describe this book? As I was reading it I found myself caught between feeling bored and feeling transfixed. I didn’t really like it but I couldn’t put it down. I loved it but I was afraid to pick it up again. My emotions ran hot and cold throughout the book. I knew little about what was going on, but I understood it all.

I realize as I am attempting to write this review that I can’t pin down what I want to say, and therefore I am not going to try other than to throw out a few adjectives: haunting, beautiful, tragic.

[Sinead · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as part of the GoodReads FirstReads giveaway.

I won this book back in August and was really excited to read it because of the beautiful cover and the intriguing story line. Life happened and I only stumbled across the book again in February. I decided to read. I am usually a fast reader, but the book took me awhile to read. I thought the beginning of the book was slow and this made me want to read it less. I kept thinking I was missing something.

The book started to pick up pace for me when Lo and Lukas went to Copenhagen. The plot seemed to move a lot more rapidly and I could gain a better sense of the characters. I was still confused during some parts of the story and had to reread it. I read some reviews online and saw I wasn't the only one.

I think the plot was intriguing and the writing was beautiful, but sometimes it was hard to follow. I didn't particularly care about Lo as a character. Trying to follow all of our family members and where she was going sometimes left me confused.

Overall, the book was enjoyable, but it took me awhile to get into it. I see a lot of potential in the writing and was glad I was given the chance to read it.

[Wendy Pimm · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very good book. The main character (Lo) is interesting and well rounded. The story is engaging and kept me very interested in where it was headed. The writing style is different, as it is non-linear and slightly disjointed, I find that that helps the story and kept me up late a few nights trying to get to the next part. The thing I like best and didn't like at the same time was the fact that all the characters lacked excuses. They did what they did and that was it, not realistic in my mind but something I hope to achieve. This is defiantly a book I will have to reread in the future and pass on to others to enjoy.

[Shambhawi P. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried my best to enjoy this book but somewhere along the way it fell short and I just - couldn't.

The writing is unpolished and does not flow smoothly. Following the plot was difficult because of that and I could not really bring myself to care about any of the characters. At all. After the first few chapters, I just lost interest - plain and simple - and could not dredge up any more to continue with the book.

DNF at 48%

This ebook was provided to me by the publishers via Edelweiss in exchange of an honest review.

[Tiina Suvanto · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kirjasta on vaikea sanoa pitikö vai eikö. Kenties sekä että. Alun hienoisen hidastempoisuuden ja jotenkin tönkön ilmaisutavan vastapainoksi kirja herää loppupuolellaan eloon ja palkitsee sinne saakka jaksaneen lukijan. Hieman kömpelön ja viimeistelemättömän oloisena se minulle näyttäytyi, mutta siinä oli hetkensä.

[Where the Autumn Sings · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kuumat kesät, tunkkaisuus, levoton, toivoton, itsekäs, kun mikään ei riitä.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS BOOK. It was everything I had hoped it would be. If you're looking for strong family elements, mystery, and hints of magical realism, this is the perfect book for you!

[Martina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ich habe das Buch eher zufällig gekauft – es war super günstig und der Klappentext klang nach einem klassischen Liebesroman. Genau das hatte ich erwartet: eine leichte, vielleicht etwas kitschige Geschichte fürs Herz. Was ich bekommen habe, war allerdings etwas völlig anderes.

Der Text war schwer zugänglich – kein Buch, das man mal eben nebenbei liest. Man muss wirklich den Kopf einschalten, um der Handlung zu folgen und die Perspektivwechsel zu durchdringen. Und davon gab es einige: Plötzlich springt die Erzählung von Vergangenheit zu Gegenwart, von der Tochter zur Mutter – ohne Vorwarnung oder klare Übergänge. Das hat mich oft irritiert und aus dem Lesefluss gerissen.

Erzählt wird letztlich das Leben von Lo – oder eher, wie das Leben so spielt: mit der Liebe, mit Beziehungen, die zerbrechen, mit all den Zufällen und Abgründen, die einem begegnen können. Klingt interessant, war es stellenweise auch. Aber vieles daran war für mich eher befremdlich – gerade die Darstellung einiger sexueller Themen fand ich zum Teil ziemlich fragwürdig.

Das Ende hat mich dann endgültig enttäuscht. Kein runder Abschluss, keine Genugtuung– einfach... nichts. Es war einfach lahm und hat mir das Gefühl gegeben, dass ich für wenig belohnt wurde.

Trotzdem gebe ich drei von fünf Sternen. Warum? Weil es für mich eine echte Herausforderung war, mal etwas zu lesen, das außerhalb meiner Komfortzone liegt. Und dafür, dass es mich gezwungen hat mitzudenken, bekommt es immerhin ein paar Punkte. Aber rein geschmacklich war das leider überhaupt nicht mein Ding.

[Наташа Алексовска · Rating 1 out of 5]

По игра на случајноста Ло 6 год. ќе се запозна со Лукаш 13 год. во пожар што го зафати нивното село. Оттогаш Ло и Лукаш бидат неразделни, што дури двајцата ќе пронајдат скришно место во шума, каде што ќе го поминат времето. Учителка ќе нареди дека Ло поради отсутност на часови ќе мора наесен да го повтори одделение. Таа сепак постојано беше со Лукаш. Поради тоа, Ло со семејство ќе се отселат на југ.

Како понатаму ќе раснат Ло и Лукаш? Дали ќе може да се видат двајцата? На какво изненадување ќе биде Ло од страна на Лукаш? Што ќе се случи со нивното пријателство? Дали секогаш животни патишта одат по нашата замисла? Или понекогаш знаат да го променат правец? Со каков крај ќе заврши овој роман?

За ерекција на Лукаш не било потребно воопшто да биде напишано во роман. Дури мислам дека и претерано се спомнува. Кога ќе се тоа избрише подобар би бил роман. Вака додека го читам роман, на моменти ми дојде нагон на повраќање. Со тоа роман не ми се воопшто допадна. Добра е приказна, но... ерекција на Лукаш никако да не била ставена. Не секој човек може да чита такви работи во книга, посебно некој ако е со слаб желудник како мојот хахаха.

[Mina Widding · Rating 4 out of 5]

Den här tyckte jag mycket om. Den påminner mycket om Polarsommar, lite tematik och platser som flöt ihop för mig, till viss del kanske också karaktärer (i mitt huvud utspelar sig båda böckerna i samma hus, fast jag är väl medveten om skillnaderna som också finns). Det gör mig inget, för jag tycker om berättelsen. Det handlar om knepiga vänskapsrelationer som påverkas av sexualitet och attraktion, i detta fall komplicerat av att Lo är alldeles för mycket yngre än Lukas, och de trots detta bygger en djup vänskap, nästan som syskonskap men ändå inte eftersom puberty happens i skevhet etc. Det finns mycket här, Swärds berättelser saknar inte biberättelser och udda detaljer, och det hoppar mellan tidsperspektiv och annat, men det funkar, jag följer bara med.

[Luce Cronin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This prize-winning novel by Swedish author Anne Sward, is exceptionally well written. The story line, a string of memories of a girl named Lo, is very complex. There are references in the book to the classic Sixties film also entitled Breathless. If you know the movie, then, you will see many parallels between characters in the film and the book. This is a novel about memories, relationships/communication within families, and the loss of innocence/beauty in these areas. This novel dies very deeply and challenges you to understand its complexities. A very unusual read.

[Merel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intensiivinen ja häiritsevä romaani ihmissuhteista. Hienosti kirjoitettu ja piti otteessaan, vaikka en ole varma pidinkö. Toinen Anne Swärdiltä lukemani kirja ja häiritsevin asia on hahmojen empatiakyvyttömyys ja tunnekylmyys eläimiä kohtaan. Kummassakin kirjassa on ollut eläimiin kohdistuvaa väkivaltaa, jonka symboliikkaa en ihan ymmärrä. Epäpidettäviä hahmoja, joihin on vaikeaa samaistua, mutta silti kauniisti kerrottua kipuilua.

[Essi Tiusanen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kannesta päätellen eroottinen kuvaus (menetetystä) nuoruudenrakkaudesta, mitä se toki onkin. Kivulias, haikea, epäsovinnainen (ikäeron takia).

Tulipalojen sammuttelu ja riitojen sovittaminen. Lukas on pikkukriminaali ja antisankari, jonka kautta Lo paikkaa puuttuvaa isäsuhdettaan. Lukasia lyödään kotona.

Hyvin aistikas ja kauniskin kerronta, johon uppoaa. Plussaa, että kielestä näkyy lapsen ajattelun kehitys. Kirja mukailee jollain tasolla samannimisen elokuvan juonta. Päätähti Jean Seberg teki itsemurhan Pariisissa 40-vuotiaana.

Counterphobia (en tiedä suomenkielistä termiä - pelkoja kohti?) on tyhjää parempi, ja luonnon vaarojen armoilla on parempi kuin itse luotu häkki.

[Michael Alan Grapin · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story is told in first person, a series of disjointed recollections by a young woman regarding her childhood and its impact on her present dissipated life style. Perhaps it's cultural, the author is Swedish, or an ungainly translation but I often found the story telling confusing and. at times, somewhat boring.

[Vicki Chicago-Marsh · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a terrible book. It jumped around so much, it was hard to follow. Also the subject matter was very disturbing. I forced myself to finish this book, & even so had to skip over a lot of it, as it was just that bad. I don’t recommend this book.

[Anne Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is strangely gripping, even though most of the time I didn't have any idea what was going on. The way it's written is incredibly surreal and powerful, and it has a unique view of relationships, which I loved.

[Sladjana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I want the hours I spent reading this stupid book back!! I finally stopped reading on page 150 when I realized it was not going to get any better anytime soon. All the characters suck. I was totally enthralled by the cover which is fairy tale gorgeous.

[Frida Lindén · Rating 5 out of 5]

En berättelse om två sköna sköra människor, från oskyldig barndom till beräknande, grubblande komplicerad vuxenhet. Miljöerna förstärker det enkla och det svåra, jag ryser av råttorna och svettas av elden och njuter av flykten.