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Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories
An anthology of personal essays written by parents of children with ADD, ADHD, OCD, PDD, ASDs, SPD, PBD and/or other alphabet soup diagnoses that takes the already difficult job of parenting and adds to the challenge. These essays focus on honest feelings, lessons learned, epiphanies, commonplace and extraordinary experiences. They are written by parents of toddlers, young children, teens, and adult children; those who are in the parenting trenches now, and those looking back on their parenting experiences. Topics how children came to be diagnosed, the experience of dealing with problem behaviors in various contexts and settings, experiences with/feelings about treatment (therapies, medications, alternative treatments), school (and other advocacy) experiences, children's social interactions/friends, and the effect of parenting a difficult child on a parent's emotional and physical health, marriage, and other relationships.
344 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
14 people are currently reading
227 people want to read
About the author
Edward M. Hallowell
45 books653 followersEdward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D., is a child and adult psychiatrist, a NY Times bestselling author, a world-renowned speaker and a leading authority in the field of ADHD. He has authored twenty books including the 1994 ground-breaking New York Times best-seller on ADHD, Driven to Distraction. In aggregate, Dr. Hallowell's books have sold more than 2 million copies on various psychological topics including how to: raise children into happy adults, manage worry, develop focus, forgiveness, connecting on a deeper level and how to inspire the best from employees. His most recent book was his Memoir, Because I Come From A Crazy Family The Making Of A Psychiatrist. His next book, ADHD 2.0 releases on January 12, 2021. Pre-order your copy today.
He is the host of “Distraction,” a weekly podcast that offers insights, strategies and tactics for coping and thriving in this crazy-busy, 24/7 over-connected modern world.
He is the host of “Distraction,” a weekly podcast that offers insights, strategies and tactics for coping and thriving in this crazy-busy, 24/7 over-connected modern world.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
February 8, 2014
I love this book. Real stories from real Mammas. Do you have a challenging child? Does your child have an invisible disability? You will laugh, cry and learn from this book.
January 11, 2013
LOVED THIS BOOK. It made me sit back and rethink how I need to be interacting with my ADHD son. It made me laugh and tear up. And it's a great read for someone who actaually may have a bit of ADD themselves *clearing throat*. I didn't get bored with this book once; the back and forth between stories and Q&A's kept it interesting. I didn't feel bogged down with tons of medical terms, names or dates like I have in some other books. I really think any parent who has a "challenging" child needs to read this. Yes, it seems to focus more on ADD/ADHD but that's not all it covers. Seriously, pick this book up. Get it on your kindle, nook...whatever. Just get it.
October 22, 2012
This is one of the best books I've ever read. Whether you consider it a parenting book or special needs book, it is a good read for all parents. The stories in the book are so real and it helps when you are going through a rough time to know that you aren't alone!
February 16, 2012
Love this book. If you have a special-needs child, it's invaluable. My only complaint is that I didn't have it earlier!!
August 30, 2012
What do parents of kids with special needs want more than anything?
Understanding. Support. Encouragement.
And finally, there's a book for that.
Kay Marner and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista have compiled a collection of first hand stories from parents in the trenches - raising children with a variety of invisible disorders whose designations are usually shortened to a series of letters: ADD, ADHD, OCD, PDD, SPD. They call these Alphabet Soup.
The difference between this book and every other I've read on special needs is that it's not a "how to raise your kids" kind of book, but more a book that shares a commonality among the struggles of parenting a child who falls outside the expected range of normal - the conflicts, the choices, the balance, the relationships, and all the other things that come from this experience.
The book is intended as an encouragement to other parents going through the same thing - creating a safe place for parents to take a deep breath, to laugh a little, to cry a little, to know they are not alone.
Written in short, bite-sized stories that are engaging to read, I loved reading this book. It's like they understand that reading has to be done in short bursts when a moment arises - that sitting down to read a long book is near impossible.
Although I have no children with any formal diagnoses of anything, I understand. I have one son who is definitely easy to love but hard to raise. I can relate and this book was exactly what I needed. Reading book after book of how to parent (unsuccessfully), and getting unsolicited advice on my parenting styles and choices from just about anyone who feels like they can offer anything - it was like a breath of fresh air to just felt understood. I am not alone.
What else did I love about this book? I loved that after each story there was a little extra section with an update about the child - how they are doing now. Many of these kids are now a lot older, some even adults, and are maneuvering through life successfully. I also loved that there were very short interjections from experts like doctors, child psychologists, support group leaders and more that were answering real questions honestly and openly, and supportively.
One of the things that I really came away with, unintentionally, was how thankful and grateful I am to be able to homeschool my children. Not every family is able to do this for a plethora of reasons, or even should, but hearing the countless stories of these children making their way painfully through the school system just makes me feel a pang of sorrow that I can't just hug them all and let them be who they are.
Thank you, Kay and Adrienne, and the 32 parents + 25 experts, for taking the time to share your stories, to help other parents to see that raising a child with special needs is not one that we have to do alone. Others have walked in these shoes, ARE walking this walk, and are there to get your back when you feel like falling over.
Be sure to check out their website: http://www.easytolovebut.com/ and join the community on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/easytolovekids
Understanding. Support. Encouragement.
And finally, there's a book for that.
Kay Marner and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista have compiled a collection of first hand stories from parents in the trenches - raising children with a variety of invisible disorders whose designations are usually shortened to a series of letters: ADD, ADHD, OCD, PDD, SPD. They call these Alphabet Soup.
The difference between this book and every other I've read on special needs is that it's not a "how to raise your kids" kind of book, but more a book that shares a commonality among the struggles of parenting a child who falls outside the expected range of normal - the conflicts, the choices, the balance, the relationships, and all the other things that come from this experience.
The book is intended as an encouragement to other parents going through the same thing - creating a safe place for parents to take a deep breath, to laugh a little, to cry a little, to know they are not alone.
Written in short, bite-sized stories that are engaging to read, I loved reading this book. It's like they understand that reading has to be done in short bursts when a moment arises - that sitting down to read a long book is near impossible.
Although I have no children with any formal diagnoses of anything, I understand. I have one son who is definitely easy to love but hard to raise. I can relate and this book was exactly what I needed. Reading book after book of how to parent (unsuccessfully), and getting unsolicited advice on my parenting styles and choices from just about anyone who feels like they can offer anything - it was like a breath of fresh air to just felt understood. I am not alone.
What else did I love about this book? I loved that after each story there was a little extra section with an update about the child - how they are doing now. Many of these kids are now a lot older, some even adults, and are maneuvering through life successfully. I also loved that there were very short interjections from experts like doctors, child psychologists, support group leaders and more that were answering real questions honestly and openly, and supportively.
One of the things that I really came away with, unintentionally, was how thankful and grateful I am to be able to homeschool my children. Not every family is able to do this for a plethora of reasons, or even should, but hearing the countless stories of these children making their way painfully through the school system just makes me feel a pang of sorrow that I can't just hug them all and let them be who they are.
Thank you, Kay and Adrienne, and the 32 parents + 25 experts, for taking the time to share your stories, to help other parents to see that raising a child with special needs is not one that we have to do alone. Others have walked in these shoes, ARE walking this walk, and are there to get your back when you feel like falling over.
Be sure to check out their website: http://www.easytolovebut.com/ and join the community on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/easytolovekids
April 12, 2016
I'm sure this book provides lovely support to parents to kids with behavioral issues. I'm the mother of a "neurotypical" child, so my reactions were more blunted. I picked this book up out of curiosity, since we seem to know an absurd number of kids with such issues.
The stories were organized into a rouch chronology depending on where the parent was on his or her journey, from when sensing something is different to the child going off and being independent. There are Q&As with experts scattered throughout a book, and an occasional "Eve Speaks", which are little vignettes that are supposed to represent the POV of the Every Parent. (The Eve Speaks are a little noxious but valuable.)
The book does provide perspective on a range of experiences (eating disorder, OCD, bipolar, sensory issues, fetal alcohol syndrome). Most of the kids have ADHD (either as the sole condition or as a co-condition). I'm not sure if this reflects the prevalence of ADHD in the pediatric population of if this is because there are well-established ADHD blogs. Kids on the autism spectrum seem to be woefully under-represented.
The book provides some valuable perspectives.
The stories were organized into a rouch chronology depending on where the parent was on his or her journey, from when sensing something is different to the child going off and being independent. There are Q&As with experts scattered throughout a book, and an occasional "Eve Speaks", which are little vignettes that are supposed to represent the POV of the Every Parent. (The Eve Speaks are a little noxious but valuable.)
The book does provide perspective on a range of experiences (eating disorder, OCD, bipolar, sensory issues, fetal alcohol syndrome). Most of the kids have ADHD (either as the sole condition or as a co-condition). I'm not sure if this reflects the prevalence of ADHD in the pediatric population of if this is because there are well-established ADHD blogs. Kids on the autism spectrum seem to be woefully under-represented.
The book provides some valuable perspectives.
October 12, 2013
This is a book of short essays written by parents of children with a psychological special need of some sort- including ASD, ADHD, OCD, etc. It was so validating, touching, comforting and empowering for me to read.
August 2, 2014
I loved reading all the stories in this book. I am raising three with FASD so I could relate to many of the stories. It helps knowing others are out there going through the same experiences. I would recommend this book to anyone with a challenging kid. It is well worth the read!!!a
July 19, 2012
I laughed, I cried, I felt accepted. As anyone with a not so typical kid knows, it's hard to feel like you belong. This book helped me feel not so alone.
April 11, 2018
I have been included in the Easy to Love But Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories anthology.
This is an excellent resource for parents of special needs children, children with disabilities that might not readily be understood. In this anthology, parents share personal accounts of raising such children. Experts in education and the medical field offer Q and A sessions after parent essays. A list of resources for parents and educators is found in the back of the anthology as well.
My essay is included in Part 6: The Struggle for Independence. The essay is entitled: “Waiting for Independence Day,” by Victoria M. Lees. It's found on page 277.
This is an excellent resource for parents of special needs children, children with disabilities that might not readily be understood. In this anthology, parents share personal accounts of raising such children. Experts in education and the medical field offer Q and A sessions after parent essays. A list of resources for parents and educators is found in the back of the anthology as well.
My essay is included in Part 6: The Struggle for Independence. The essay is entitled: “Waiting for Independence Day,” by Victoria M. Lees. It's found on page 277.
April 13, 2020
Excellent! Being the parent of a special needs child can be very isolating -- and this book of short essays written by parents of special needs children was very reassuring that, "You are not alone!" I really enjoyed the raw honesty of these parents. Nothing is sugar coated; their experiences are REAL as is their tremendous love for their child. Some are adopted; some are first children; some are ADHD; most have an alphabet soup of diagnoses. Many of their feelings I have been through more than once. A must read for any parent of special needs children and it would be a great read for any teacher!
March 5, 2025
Interesting and heartwarming bibliotherapy. Some of the stories were soft and cozy and well-written, and some were scratchy as I did not agree with their approach nor conclusions nor did I like their writing style, but nonetheless, it was a gift to read the struggles of other parents who “get it” and the mistakes and wins they had along the way. I highlighted lots of highly relatable sentences that gave me insight into my own children and ideas for how to parent them better. Thankful for this book.
September 8, 2013
I read this hoping to be able to recommend it, or at least portions of it, to the parents I work with. Unfortunately, although the covers promises stories about "challenging kids" in general, the book is almost entirely composed of essays by parents raising children with ADHD. For that population, I am sure this is a reassuring read. For other parents, not so much.
January 15, 2016
I saw my son, me, my husband, our entire family in these pages. The stories I read here helped me gain wisdom, showed me things I hadn't seen or didn't want to see before regarding our lives, and much more. Raising a special needs child is a difficult task but as the book teaches the reader...these children have so much about them to love.
May 4, 2012
I believe this is the best book out there for parents who have children that have ADHD, and other alphabet diagnosis. I like how they refer to these children as "Alphabet kids!" As a parent it helped me feel that I am not alone with my journey with my daughter.
September 27, 2012
I liked this book. It gave some clear insights as to what other parents go through in their day to day lives with kids with issues. It helped me develop my "empathy" bone and also helped me be thankful for my many blessings.
May 17, 2015
This book is a must read for any parent. Any kids that is ever not been the perfect child, and aren't all of ours those? None of us are alone, and as parents, we often feel worried. Everyone should read this.
April 10, 2014
Any parent who has an ETL child needs to read this! We are not alone & there are others who completely get what we are going through! Also there are stories of hope!!
October 11, 2013
Heartbreaking and life affirming.
December 2, 2017
This book was mainly focused on ADD and was good, just not what I was looking for.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews