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Dotson: My Journey Growing Up Transgender
A memoir about what
it’s like when they think you’re their daughter, but you know you’re
their son.
For as long as he could
remember, Grayson has known he is a boy, not a girl. While his identical twin
sister wore princess dresses and danced ballet in a tutu, Grayson preferred his
Spider-Man costume or sweats. He was uncomfortable in anything considered
“girly.” People called him a tomboy, but he knew that wasn’t right either. He
explained to his mother, “I know I’m supposed to be your daughter, but I feel
more like your son. I guess I’m your… Dot-son.”
Grayson
is now twelve years old. This is his story about what it’s like growing up
transgender—from small moments, like getting a new haircut or playing football,
to the big life events, like choosing a bathroom, coming out to his friends,
and picking a new name. Filled with humor and joy, Dotson is
a thought-provoking and honest story of one boy’s journey to becoming his best
and truest self and sharing that with the world.
The
book also includes helpful resources for transgender kids and families.
it’s like when they think you’re their daughter, but you know you’re
their son.
For as long as he could
remember, Grayson has known he is a boy, not a girl. While his identical twin
sister wore princess dresses and danced ballet in a tutu, Grayson preferred his
Spider-Man costume or sweats. He was uncomfortable in anything considered
“girly.” People called him a tomboy, but he knew that wasn’t right either. He
explained to his mother, “I know I’m supposed to be your daughter, but I feel
more like your son. I guess I’m your… Dot-son.”
Grayson
is now twelve years old. This is his story about what it’s like growing up
transgender—from small moments, like getting a new haircut or playing football,
to the big life events, like choosing a bathroom, coming out to his friends,
and picking a new name. Filled with humor and joy, Dotson is
a thought-provoking and honest story of one boy’s journey to becoming his best
and truest self and sharing that with the world.
The
book also includes helpful resources for transgender kids and families.
136 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 4, 2023
8 people are currently reading
163 people want to read
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April 29, 2023 I was sent a physical copy of this book from the publisher. All thoughts are my own.
Twelve-year-old Grayson Lee White chronicles his life from age four to present day giving trans kids a voice and letting them know they're not alone. Grayson's story is joyous and hopeful though it does come with the challenges of being misunderstood by adults in his life and dealing with things most trans kids have to go through (and shouldn't have to) such as bathroom access, coming out, and making friends.
I highly recommend this book for teachers to teach their young students about trans kids and how to respect them as well as for parents of trans kids. But Dotson is a great read for anyone looking to read more about the trans experience from the perspective of a trans boy. I appreciated how detailed this book goes into puberty blockers by sharing the process, the specific name of the medication, AND showing the importance of trans kids going on puberty blockers and how they saved Grayson's life.
This is a light-hearted book but it still shows the everyday struggle of being a trans kid and the challenges they face. Dotson brought a smile to my face as I read about Grayson's journey to social transition and the trans joy he experienced. I'm so glad we have books like Dotson depicting a happy experience for trans kids because this should be the normal.
The back of the book provides resources for trans kids including books, hotlines & organizations, and LGBTQIA+ friendly places to look into. I appreciated that they weren't too generic since some of the organizations and places were new to me!
Note: Grayson's deadname is mentioned on page. But it is important to recognize that not *every* trans person hides their name and feels uncomfortable by it. It is up to trans people only to share their deadname, if they so choose.
Twelve-year-old Grayson Lee White chronicles his life from age four to present day giving trans kids a voice and letting them know they're not alone. Grayson's story is joyous and hopeful though it does come with the challenges of being misunderstood by adults in his life and dealing with things most trans kids have to go through (and shouldn't have to) such as bathroom access, coming out, and making friends.
I highly recommend this book for teachers to teach their young students about trans kids and how to respect them as well as for parents of trans kids. But Dotson is a great read for anyone looking to read more about the trans experience from the perspective of a trans boy. I appreciated how detailed this book goes into puberty blockers by sharing the process, the specific name of the medication, AND showing the importance of trans kids going on puberty blockers and how they saved Grayson's life.
This is a light-hearted book but it still shows the everyday struggle of being a trans kid and the challenges they face. Dotson brought a smile to my face as I read about Grayson's journey to social transition and the trans joy he experienced. I'm so glad we have books like Dotson depicting a happy experience for trans kids because this should be the normal.
The back of the book provides resources for trans kids including books, hotlines & organizations, and LGBTQIA+ friendly places to look into. I appreciated that they weren't too generic since some of the organizations and places were new to me!
Note: Grayson's deadname is mentioned on page. But it is important to recognize that not *every* trans person hides their name and feels uncomfortable by it. It is up to trans people only to share their deadname, if they so choose.
June 21, 2022
This was a really cute book! I picked it up thinking it was a memoir written by an older author, but he’s only 13. As a older trans guy it warmed my heart to read about how accepting his family was. His story comes through very clearly and the illustrations are cute too. It’s a great book for kids to read and I’m proud of target for supporting him with releasing it. Happy pride month :)
January 11, 2024
All the stars. Great book on its own, but also a great teaching tool from an own voices author explaining how it feels to be trans and his experiences growing up trans and changing his gender identity in early elementary school.
March 20, 2024
A middle school memoir written by a middle schooler.
This is the type of story that I wish for every trans child out there. This level of support and love and acceptance should be the norm. I really hope this book finds its way into the hands of all groups of people.
I did go into this thinking it was more like a graphic novel but I think that was just my own misconception. It's more like an illustrated memoir. It's also written by a 12-year-old so keep that in mind.
This is the type of story that I wish for every trans child out there. This level of support and love and acceptance should be the norm. I really hope this book finds its way into the hands of all groups of people.
I did go into this thinking it was more like a graphic novel but I think that was just my own misconception. It's more like an illustrated memoir. It's also written by a 12-year-old so keep that in mind.
June 12, 2022
This book is an amazing tale of a young man’s journey (so far) to become a young man. The author is only a mere 12-13 years of age and is a phenomenal author. His story and help so many young boys and girls help find their authentic selves and learn what transgender means. It’s a beautiful autobiography. 10/10 recommend .
October 6, 2022
Invaluable. I read this initially with my young transgender child, and she has read it dozens of times in the weeks since then. She can’t put it down and wants to write a book about her experience too after reading this.
June 4, 2022
I love this book! Good for children curious about transgender kids, normalizing
February 13, 2024
I'll give this book 4/5 stars! There's so much I love about it and just a few things that didn't quite click for me.
First, let me break down what I enjoyed the most.
Firstly, what really stood out to me is how this book dives deep into the experiences of trans-child – how they navigate it and what it feels like. Bonus points for having a glossary at the back, which is pretty cool!
Secondly, the sweet dynamic between Grayson and his sister, plus the solid parental support, is heartwarming. Their bonding sets a good example for readers who might already be parents.
Lastly, I love how Grayson poured his feelings into this book. He went all out, detailing everything, even sharing how he navigated through it all and how the judgments and activities that cornered him made him stressed. I feel like I really got to experience his journey.
Now, on to the not-so-great part (maybe it's just my perspective). I'd say this book might not be the best fit for middle-graders. Grayson acknowledges that not all transgender individuals have the privileges he does. It sheds light on the harsh reality that not everyone is supportive, especially for young kids trans. I'm concerned this might leave them questioning why they're different, leading to frustration or sadness. It could also impact kids who don't have a strong foundation yet. You know, some young people like to follow suit on a whim.
Okay, that is all!
First, let me break down what I enjoyed the most.
Firstly, what really stood out to me is how this book dives deep into the experiences of trans-child – how they navigate it and what it feels like. Bonus points for having a glossary at the back, which is pretty cool!
Secondly, the sweet dynamic between Grayson and his sister, plus the solid parental support, is heartwarming. Their bonding sets a good example for readers who might already be parents.
Lastly, I love how Grayson poured his feelings into this book. He went all out, detailing everything, even sharing how he navigated through it all and how the judgments and activities that cornered him made him stressed. I feel like I really got to experience his journey.
Now, on to the not-so-great part (maybe it's just my perspective). I'd say this book might not be the best fit for middle-graders. Grayson acknowledges that not all transgender individuals have the privileges he does. It sheds light on the harsh reality that not everyone is supportive, especially for young kids trans. I'm concerned this might leave them questioning why they're different, leading to frustration or sadness. It could also impact kids who don't have a strong foundation yet. You know, some young people like to follow suit on a whim.
Okay, that is all!
February 4, 2024
Written for middle-schoolers, by a middle schooler, this is a very easy to read and understand memoir of a transboy, and how he got to be where he is now. (The book ends with him being 13 years old)
We are introduced to him when he starts hormone blockers, and then we work our way back to when he was 2 years old and first told his mother that he felt he was supposed to be a boy, rather then being born a girl. He was that sure, at that age.
What is sweet was how understanding his parents and twin sister were about the whole thing. As he says, it could have turned out so differently.
This is a great book for middle-schoolers who want to know what it means to be trans. Plainly written. Just enough details.
Sad thing, reading this, was I thought to myself, wow, this is good, and then thinking, I bet it will be banned by some school districts, the way so many trans books have been.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review. This book is being published the 2nd of April 2024
We are introduced to him when he starts hormone blockers, and then we work our way back to when he was 2 years old and first told his mother that he felt he was supposed to be a boy, rather then being born a girl. He was that sure, at that age.
What is sweet was how understanding his parents and twin sister were about the whole thing. As he says, it could have turned out so differently.
This is a great book for middle-schoolers who want to know what it means to be trans. Plainly written. Just enough details.
Sad thing, reading this, was I thought to myself, wow, this is good, and then thinking, I bet it will be banned by some school districts, the way so many trans books have been.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review. This book is being published the 2nd of April 2024
June 12, 2023
This book was recommended and loaned to me by a French teacher, who is also part of my cohort at National Louis. The book was published April of 2023, and as of this review has not been nominated for any awards.
This is a touching, funny, and beautifully written memoir by 13-year-old Grayson Lee White, a young boy who takes us through his life as he transitions from female to male. It starts as he is receiving the first shot of a puberty blocking drug, and then transitions to his first memory as a two-year-old, wishing that one day he will be a boy. The memoir progresses in a similar way, showcasing various momentous occasions in his life as he transitions to his correct gender. The memoir then ends much like it began, with White finally receiving his first puberty blocker. White mentions at the end that there are so many things he worries about, such as starting his own family and not belonging. But it ends on a hopeful note, with White telling us he won’t let worry stand in the way of living his life, instead taking every challenge as it comes.
Although this story is told with a sense of humor about it, I found each vignette to be a touching, heartfelt account of White’s personal journey. I was moved from the first page. White is already an extraordinary author, and his voice is strong on the page. He isn’t just telling his story; he is inviting the reader in to experience it alongside him. This may be a work of nonfiction, but White’s conversational writing style mixed with the book’s emotional impact elevates it to something far more insightful and profound.
As a piece of nonfiction, Dotson aligns with quite a few of the nonfiction elements from Children’s Books in Children’s Hands. Besides being an informative text, I think Dotson certainly has the ability to arouse curiosity, open up a new world for the reader, and engage readers with learning and thinking (p. 284). White also manages to infuse his memoir with life, creating a lively and animated story that would capture the minds of a reader as fully as any work of fiction.
The book is easy to read and comprehend, and I think it could be used with students as young as 4th or 5th grade all the way up to high school. Dotson would work well in unit about memoir and nonfiction as it provides a fresh, unique take on the genre. It could also be used in a unit that focuses on LGBTQIA+ rights, social justice, and/or themes of acceptance. Although this book is about a transgender person, I think it would make a great mirror for any LGBTQIA+ students as it deals heavily with themes of self-acceptance and resilience. As mentioned, White’s conversational style really draws the reader into the story - we experience everything as White himself experienced it, making this a wonderful window and sliding glass door. In my opinion, Dotson is the perfect book to help cis students develop empathy and compassion for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Even for me, someone who considers himself to be an ally to the community, this book was transformative and has fundamentally changed the way I think about transgender people. Dotson will absolutely go in my own classroom library.
This is a touching, funny, and beautifully written memoir by 13-year-old Grayson Lee White, a young boy who takes us through his life as he transitions from female to male. It starts as he is receiving the first shot of a puberty blocking drug, and then transitions to his first memory as a two-year-old, wishing that one day he will be a boy. The memoir progresses in a similar way, showcasing various momentous occasions in his life as he transitions to his correct gender. The memoir then ends much like it began, with White finally receiving his first puberty blocker. White mentions at the end that there are so many things he worries about, such as starting his own family and not belonging. But it ends on a hopeful note, with White telling us he won’t let worry stand in the way of living his life, instead taking every challenge as it comes.
Although this story is told with a sense of humor about it, I found each vignette to be a touching, heartfelt account of White’s personal journey. I was moved from the first page. White is already an extraordinary author, and his voice is strong on the page. He isn’t just telling his story; he is inviting the reader in to experience it alongside him. This may be a work of nonfiction, but White’s conversational writing style mixed with the book’s emotional impact elevates it to something far more insightful and profound.
As a piece of nonfiction, Dotson aligns with quite a few of the nonfiction elements from Children’s Books in Children’s Hands. Besides being an informative text, I think Dotson certainly has the ability to arouse curiosity, open up a new world for the reader, and engage readers with learning and thinking (p. 284). White also manages to infuse his memoir with life, creating a lively and animated story that would capture the minds of a reader as fully as any work of fiction.
The book is easy to read and comprehend, and I think it could be used with students as young as 4th or 5th grade all the way up to high school. Dotson would work well in unit about memoir and nonfiction as it provides a fresh, unique take on the genre. It could also be used in a unit that focuses on LGBTQIA+ rights, social justice, and/or themes of acceptance. Although this book is about a transgender person, I think it would make a great mirror for any LGBTQIA+ students as it deals heavily with themes of self-acceptance and resilience. As mentioned, White’s conversational style really draws the reader into the story - we experience everything as White himself experienced it, making this a wonderful window and sliding glass door. In my opinion, Dotson is the perfect book to help cis students develop empathy and compassion for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Even for me, someone who considers himself to be an ally to the community, this book was transformative and has fundamentally changed the way I think about transgender people. Dotson will absolutely go in my own classroom library.
August 17, 2023
i don't really know how to review this it just makes me really emotional that this book is able to exist at all, not to mention exist out on display at target. seeing how different things are from when i was a kid (not that long ago) gives me a lot of hope.
this is a really good and engaging read, and he wrote it at 12 years old. i can't wait to see what author grayson lee white is gonna do next :)
this is a really good and engaging read, and he wrote it at 12 years old. i can't wait to see what author grayson lee white is gonna do next :)
September 8, 2023
An interesting memoir of Grayson's transitioning. Told in their own voice, his journey is relatable and understandable. You are able to answer the "awkward" questions because of the openness they have, yet are not "over sharing." As an adult who is still learning, this was a great way to experience "the other side" of the story. For a younger child (ages eight and up) they can also understand a sibling's journey or even their own maybe a little better. Grayson's voice is young but mature as they have gone through a lot, thankfully in a very open and lovely environment. It would be interesting to "check in" with them in a few years/during high school.
May 20, 2023
A super sweet, generous, and thoughtfully-crafted memoir by young author Grayson White, who shares the story of his childhood and transition. A wonderful read for people of all ages.
June 27, 2023
Content warnings are listed at the end of my review!
I think there's value in having a trans youth written book for trans youth to read, and despite its imperfections, I think this does the job. Being youth written, it's not going to be perfect, but the representation outweighs the minimal cons to pull through to give kids someone on their level. It doesn't fall into relying on gender stereotypes, or just being a vague caricature of hating everything girly- Grayson is a rounded out narrator and portrays his plights with nuance and insight, giving a detailed and authentic look at trans life with occasional illustrations. This helps it to peak its head above the water where other trans youth lit struggles by giving us a much more complete look at someone, you feel like you've gotten to know Grayson, which can really reach the heart of readers and impact their feelings and interactions with gender diversity and transgender people.
So we start with current 12 year old Grayson as he begins hormone blockers- then going back mostly chronologically through his life and how he got here in his gender journey. The story starts all the way back when he was 2. We get to see very personal and close depictions of his time as a child and his development socially especially in regards to how he interacts with societally expected gender roles. It's no black and white "I hated dresses and I only played with trucks!" although Grayson is particularly masculine, but a much more complex view of his inner confusion and dislike towards the expectations and reactions directed towards him- speaking much more to the trans experience. We get the usual ups and downs of friends, adults, school, bathrooms, and doctors but in this special light, especially when told from the perspective of a young trans person.
I think the only downfalls are really just technicalities thankfully, not detracting from the value of the book, but it prevents a perfect score. Grayson's story is remarkable because of how great his family is, and either living in a very fortunate region or a lack of corroborating details shows his transition as overwhelmingly smooth. It's shown that he officially came out around 7 then around 8 got both his name and gender marker changed in a short and sweet court visit with no other details. Here I'm not sure if it's a lack of details or a real life act of god, but name changes are usually a process that takes money, time, and sometimes significant effort, at least that was how it went for me and most people I know. His medical transition was presented in this bizarre way, jumping around rapidly, collaging many different appointments with his endocrinologist, then retroactively mentioning the extended therapy he did before seeing the endocrinologist, and repeatedly says "shots" in lieu of "bloodwork" only clarifying well after the damage was done what he ment, majorly sacrificing clarity making it seem like he started blockers at 8 not 12 (EDITORS, HELLO?). There's some small other moments like Grayson saying he "should be honest" and openly tell others he's trans, quietly implying trans people are "lying" or "hiding" something and we aren't, and near the end he says "If I didn't have that support, I would still be trapped in the wrong body." which he can feel personally but is a very outdated and oversimplified idea of the trans experience.
Summary:
Readability: ★★★★☆, It is short and sweet, with a good balance of showing transphobia and dysphoria without feeling overwhelmingly negative. A calm and up close approach from the source is what makes this book as powerful as it is.
Entertainment: ★★★☆☆, 3.5 I liked it overall, but the bumps ruined the immersion for the experience a bit, as I had to reread and skip around to try to make sense of the chronology or even what was presently happening. It really missed the mark without actual contextualization for how his transition happened and honestly paints an unrealistic picture of how these steps happen, even if he was in a privileged situation that allows them to happen (see the retrospective mention of extensive therapy prior to his doctor visits, making it seem like the doctor was step one, or at least a lot easier to get to than it actually was- offering only a snippet of clarity later).
Audience: TRANS YOUTH & YOUTH IN GENERAL! This is a must have in your collection as a great introduction to what being trans is like. Trans kids will feel seen and feel hope through Grayson, and allies, friends, and siblings of trans youth have a lot to benefit from reading his story. I strongly recommend.
Content Warnings: anxiety, bloodwork, covid-19 mention, dehydration, dysphoria, gender stereotypes, hospital, medical chest exam, needles, puberty, religion mentions, religious discrimination, transphobia
I think there's value in having a trans youth written book for trans youth to read, and despite its imperfections, I think this does the job. Being youth written, it's not going to be perfect, but the representation outweighs the minimal cons to pull through to give kids someone on their level. It doesn't fall into relying on gender stereotypes, or just being a vague caricature of hating everything girly- Grayson is a rounded out narrator and portrays his plights with nuance and insight, giving a detailed and authentic look at trans life with occasional illustrations. This helps it to peak its head above the water where other trans youth lit struggles by giving us a much more complete look at someone, you feel like you've gotten to know Grayson, which can really reach the heart of readers and impact their feelings and interactions with gender diversity and transgender people.
So we start with current 12 year old Grayson as he begins hormone blockers- then going back mostly chronologically through his life and how he got here in his gender journey. The story starts all the way back when he was 2. We get to see very personal and close depictions of his time as a child and his development socially especially in regards to how he interacts with societally expected gender roles. It's no black and white "I hated dresses and I only played with trucks!" although Grayson is particularly masculine, but a much more complex view of his inner confusion and dislike towards the expectations and reactions directed towards him- speaking much more to the trans experience. We get the usual ups and downs of friends, adults, school, bathrooms, and doctors but in this special light, especially when told from the perspective of a young trans person.
I think the only downfalls are really just technicalities thankfully, not detracting from the value of the book, but it prevents a perfect score. Grayson's story is remarkable because of how great his family is, and either living in a very fortunate region or a lack of corroborating details shows his transition as overwhelmingly smooth. It's shown that he officially came out around 7 then around 8 got both his name and gender marker changed in a short and sweet court visit with no other details. Here I'm not sure if it's a lack of details or a real life act of god, but name changes are usually a process that takes money, time, and sometimes significant effort, at least that was how it went for me and most people I know. His medical transition was presented in this bizarre way, jumping around rapidly, collaging many different appointments with his endocrinologist, then retroactively mentioning the extended therapy he did before seeing the endocrinologist, and repeatedly says "shots" in lieu of "bloodwork" only clarifying well after the damage was done what he ment, majorly sacrificing clarity making it seem like he started blockers at 8 not 12 (EDITORS, HELLO?). There's some small other moments like Grayson saying he "should be honest" and openly tell others he's trans, quietly implying trans people are "lying" or "hiding" something and we aren't, and near the end he says "If I didn't have that support, I would still be trapped in the wrong body." which he can feel personally but is a very outdated and oversimplified idea of the trans experience.
Summary:
Readability: ★★★★☆, It is short and sweet, with a good balance of showing transphobia and dysphoria without feeling overwhelmingly negative. A calm and up close approach from the source is what makes this book as powerful as it is.
Entertainment: ★★★☆☆, 3.5 I liked it overall, but the bumps ruined the immersion for the experience a bit, as I had to reread and skip around to try to make sense of the chronology or even what was presently happening. It really missed the mark without actual contextualization for how his transition happened and honestly paints an unrealistic picture of how these steps happen, even if he was in a privileged situation that allows them to happen (see the retrospective mention of extensive therapy prior to his doctor visits, making it seem like the doctor was step one, or at least a lot easier to get to than it actually was- offering only a snippet of clarity later).
Audience: TRANS YOUTH & YOUTH IN GENERAL! This is a must have in your collection as a great introduction to what being trans is like. Trans kids will feel seen and feel hope through Grayson, and allies, friends, and siblings of trans youth have a lot to benefit from reading his story. I strongly recommend.
Content Warnings: anxiety, bloodwork, covid-19 mention, dehydration, dysphoria, gender stereotypes, hospital, medical chest exam, needles, puberty, religion mentions, religious discrimination, transphobia
January 31, 2023
I LOVE walking into Target and seeing meaningful books for kids on the shelves for sale - and often reduced because they are new... or something. In days where libraries are threatened, schools are a battleground for the politics of repression, being able to find books like this on a for-sale shelf in an everyday store is a blessing.
Grayson was born Zoe, an identical twin. But the feeling of being a boy starts very early. This is the story of transition through childhood into teen years. This is a matter-of-fact tale of a kid who knows the gender assigned is wrong. But how do you share that information? What do you do? He takes us through the different parts of the journey: self discovery, parents and learning more, the steps from girl to boy - including court for the name and doctors for the transition. There is a glossary included.
Fear comes for many about gender transition - often fed by horrifying stories, once relegated to tabloids, but now all too often blaring on line, and not just on social media. I have to remember that not everyone knows folks whose gender has transitioned. I became aware in the 1980s of 1, and then 2 adults. More recently more are aware. Books like this for children, written clearly and thoughtfully, can help us all see the journey, and perhaps understand just a bit more.
Grayson was born Zoe, an identical twin. But the feeling of being a boy starts very early. This is the story of transition through childhood into teen years. This is a matter-of-fact tale of a kid who knows the gender assigned is wrong. But how do you share that information? What do you do? He takes us through the different parts of the journey: self discovery, parents and learning more, the steps from girl to boy - including court for the name and doctors for the transition. There is a glossary included.
Fear comes for many about gender transition - often fed by horrifying stories, once relegated to tabloids, but now all too often blaring on line, and not just on social media. I have to remember that not everyone knows folks whose gender has transitioned. I became aware in the 1980s of 1, and then 2 adults. More recently more are aware. Books like this for children, written clearly and thoughtfully, can help us all see the journey, and perhaps understand just a bit more.
June 2, 2023
I think this book is probably even more important for adults to read than young people. The book points out that kids are not usually the most judgmental, but they are curious. Bias is often taught. Being able to read about a young person's experience in a world that is not set up for him to be the most comfortable is very eye-opening. As a middle school teacher, I find that this book can help me to understand and empathize with my students more. It taught me new ways that I can support them. I really enjoyed it!
June 28, 2022
Really fast and quick read. Very helpful for getting out of a slump. This would be a great book for everyone to read to be able to see life from a different point of view. I think it would help a lot of people understand being transgender.
July 25, 2022
This book was so amazing and I feel like everyone should read it. I think it would help people understand being transgender better.
December 17, 2022
Yowza. The circular logic in this book is so confusing and devastating. Especially at the doctor's office.
January 24, 2024
Well-written, well-illustrated, well-designed presentation of a person's experience having been identified as a girl at birth, and going through a transition to be wholly identifiable as a boy by the time they are 7 or 8 years old. Taken at face value, this is worth reading to understand this person's real life experience.
In the format of a short, illustrated chapter book, it reads somewhat more like a novel than like non-fiction. The first-person voice makes it feel like a dynamic and friendly conversation with a relative or classmate who has anticipated most of your questions and many of your possibly reactions - although not all of them...which is fair enough; Grayson isn't responsible for covering every possible reactive scenario.
I like the word "dotson" and how the author differentiated between a person who would be called a "tomboy" versus one who would consider themselves simply a "boy." I also appreciated that the parents received this understanding with compassion and immediately tried to find ways to support their child.
To be honest, I have wondered whether those children who know from age 2-5 that they want to be a different gender had been subjected to gender stereotypes and parental micro-managing that forced them to grasp at gender transition as the only way out of a binary that didn't match their preferences for behavior and appearance. This book - if it accurately describes the experiences in this family - demonstrates that even in families where kids are allowed to dress as they like, a young child could *still* have a strong sense that they want to be the other gender in the binary.
Continuing to be honest - about where I come from as a reader & reviewer - I prefer a world where people can find their own creative expressions, clothing preferences, personality, and activities without needing them to match a gender-specific norm. But that world doesn't yet exist, so we are stuck with this idea that if you are a boy, you surely want to wear a bold colored striped shirt, not pink sparkles.
This book isn't aiming to tear down the gender binary, nor to undermine the idea that boys like golf, skateboarding, pants over dresses, and short hair. It takes gender norms for granted, and focuses instead on the author's experience that his sense of self was strongly situated in a specific gender and it wasn't the one he was born into. This is description of one possible path forward to first be accepted by visual appearance as a boy, and then to tinker with his physiology with medical intervention so that it too would match.
Although this topic is not my forte, I much appreciated the calm and respectful tone of the book.
It normalized and modeled for children how human beings can identify their own discomfort and get help from the adults and peers in their lives to ease that discomfort and find what brings them joy.
In the format of a short, illustrated chapter book, it reads somewhat more like a novel than like non-fiction. The first-person voice makes it feel like a dynamic and friendly conversation with a relative or classmate who has anticipated most of your questions and many of your possibly reactions - although not all of them...which is fair enough; Grayson isn't responsible for covering every possible reactive scenario.
I like the word "dotson" and how the author differentiated between a person who would be called a "tomboy" versus one who would consider themselves simply a "boy." I also appreciated that the parents received this understanding with compassion and immediately tried to find ways to support their child.
To be honest, I have wondered whether those children who know from age 2-5 that they want to be a different gender had been subjected to gender stereotypes and parental micro-managing that forced them to grasp at gender transition as the only way out of a binary that didn't match their preferences for behavior and appearance. This book - if it accurately describes the experiences in this family - demonstrates that even in families where kids are allowed to dress as they like, a young child could *still* have a strong sense that they want to be the other gender in the binary.
Continuing to be honest - about where I come from as a reader & reviewer - I prefer a world where people can find their own creative expressions, clothing preferences, personality, and activities without needing them to match a gender-specific norm. But that world doesn't yet exist, so we are stuck with this idea that if you are a boy, you surely want to wear a bold colored striped shirt, not pink sparkles.
This book isn't aiming to tear down the gender binary, nor to undermine the idea that boys like golf, skateboarding, pants over dresses, and short hair. It takes gender norms for granted, and focuses instead on the author's experience that his sense of self was strongly situated in a specific gender and it wasn't the one he was born into. This is description of one possible path forward to first be accepted by visual appearance as a boy, and then to tinker with his physiology with medical intervention so that it too would match.
Although this topic is not my forte, I much appreciated the calm and respectful tone of the book.
It normalized and modeled for children how human beings can identify their own discomfort and get help from the adults and peers in their lives to ease that discomfort and find what brings them joy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 26, 2024
Not a daughter, not a son, but a Dotson, Grayson encapsulates his gender journey in this charming memoir. Like other readers, I assumed Grayson was an adult writing about his childhood experiences but knowing this is coming from a 12 year old writer has helped me to feel even more encouraged by this book.
This book would be perfect for parents of trans kids and for trans kids as well, who are learning to feel validated in their trans-ness and are looking for community. Many of the thoughts Grayson was having about his existence and his identity are so common in trans kids that I think this could be a valuable piece of literature for this population. I also appreciated the acknowledgement of how lucky he was to have a family situation like he does, where everyone was ready to support him, and I also appreciated the reflections that he included later in life. Specifically, the reflection of his mom and how she had wished she had pushed harder for Grayson to use the boys bathroom.
My only point of contention was that so much of our community is focused on the physical aspects of trans-ness and the trans identity that I wished there was less of a “I’m a boy because I have short hair and wear boy clothes” and more of a “I’m a boy because I am a boy.” However, I do acknowledge the role that society plays in affirming gender because of how well someone “passes” so I can see where that may come from.
Overall, a thoughtful and encouraging story that many young trans readers could easily connect with.
This book would be perfect for parents of trans kids and for trans kids as well, who are learning to feel validated in their trans-ness and are looking for community. Many of the thoughts Grayson was having about his existence and his identity are so common in trans kids that I think this could be a valuable piece of literature for this population. I also appreciated the acknowledgement of how lucky he was to have a family situation like he does, where everyone was ready to support him, and I also appreciated the reflections that he included later in life. Specifically, the reflection of his mom and how she had wished she had pushed harder for Grayson to use the boys bathroom.
My only point of contention was that so much of our community is focused on the physical aspects of trans-ness and the trans identity that I wished there was less of a “I’m a boy because I have short hair and wear boy clothes” and more of a “I’m a boy because I am a boy.” However, I do acknowledge the role that society plays in affirming gender because of how well someone “passes” so I can see where that may come from.
Overall, a thoughtful and encouraging story that many young trans readers could easily connect with.
April 4, 2023
Saw this in Target last night when I dashed through the book department on my way to the Easter displays. Picked it up, bought it, read it last night. It's now in my Little Free Library, available for someone else to read and learn from, and I plan on going back to get more copies for other library stewards I know.
Grayson's recounting of his experience is honest, forthright, and relatable. I think this will be a valuable resource for some readers who are struggling with questions about themselves, and even more so for friends and family members who want to be supportive and who would like to have a better understanding of someone else's self-realization.
Also, for anyone not sure about suitability -- this is a book that I think could be read to younger children and that older kids (chapter book readers) can read for themselves without being exposed to any content that could be questionable. There isn't any.
The people who most need to read this, though, probably won't: the state legislators in various parts of the country who are attempting to prevent parents and doctors from providing gender-affirming medical care to their children and their young patients. Pity.
Grayson's recounting of his experience is honest, forthright, and relatable. I think this will be a valuable resource for some readers who are struggling with questions about themselves, and even more so for friends and family members who want to be supportive and who would like to have a better understanding of someone else's self-realization.
Also, for anyone not sure about suitability -- this is a book that I think could be read to younger children and that older kids (chapter book readers) can read for themselves without being exposed to any content that could be questionable. There isn't any.
The people who most need to read this, though, probably won't: the state legislators in various parts of the country who are attempting to prevent parents and doctors from providing gender-affirming medical care to their children and their young patients. Pity.
April 8, 2023
*I received an e-book copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.*
You guys, this juvenile memoir is perfect for those who want more of an understanding about the feeling of being transgender. This book boils it down for children who are curious and it normalizes transgender people. Even as an adult, I feel like I took away some information I did not know before.
A fast read, this children’s memoir will help show some of the feelings that occur when you know you are transgender, but not able to fully express your thoughts. And the fact that a twelve year old wrote this and makes it so simple!
I highly recommend people of all ages read this book to understand more of how being transgender is not a phase, that they’re not forced to be this way when you have a supportive family like Grayson does. There is even a glossary of terms in the back of the book as well as different resources for the trans and LGBT+ community.
While I am not part of the LGBT+ community, I really hope the publisher reaches out to reviewers who are, especially trans reviewers, to get this story out there!
You guys, this juvenile memoir is perfect for those who want more of an understanding about the feeling of being transgender. This book boils it down for children who are curious and it normalizes transgender people. Even as an adult, I feel like I took away some information I did not know before.
A fast read, this children’s memoir will help show some of the feelings that occur when you know you are transgender, but not able to fully express your thoughts. And the fact that a twelve year old wrote this and makes it so simple!
I highly recommend people of all ages read this book to understand more of how being transgender is not a phase, that they’re not forced to be this way when you have a supportive family like Grayson does. There is even a glossary of terms in the back of the book as well as different resources for the trans and LGBT+ community.
While I am not part of the LGBT+ community, I really hope the publisher reaches out to reviewers who are, especially trans reviewers, to get this story out there!
June 22, 2024
[Thanks to NetGalley & the author for providing me with this ARC]
What a beautiful memoir written by a middle schooler for other middle school kids! The story was told in a no-nonsense way, short and to the point. I believe this will be a very special book for so many young people who are either seeing themselves in Grayson or want to learn more about different forms of identity.
This journey is a very privileged one, even if it’s not without its struggles. Grayson is unconditionally supported by his family which on the one hand is such a beautiful thing to read about but seems almost fairytale-like. Makes me hope that maybe there are more realities out there where parents accept their children’s queer identity without a fight instead the experiences many of us others had to make. Hope is a wonderful thing and this book definitely hands out great portions of it!
Disclaimer: The ARC was provided to me by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. The ARC category in no way impacts the rating of the book. All of my reviews contain my honest opinions.
What a beautiful memoir written by a middle schooler for other middle school kids! The story was told in a no-nonsense way, short and to the point. I believe this will be a very special book for so many young people who are either seeing themselves in Grayson or want to learn more about different forms of identity.
This journey is a very privileged one, even if it’s not without its struggles. Grayson is unconditionally supported by his family which on the one hand is such a beautiful thing to read about but seems almost fairytale-like. Makes me hope that maybe there are more realities out there where parents accept their children’s queer identity without a fight instead the experiences many of us others had to make. Hope is a wonderful thing and this book definitely hands out great portions of it!
Disclaimer: The ARC was provided to me by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. The ARC category in no way impacts the rating of the book. All of my reviews contain my honest opinions.
March 24, 2023
I read this in Target while waiting for my prescriptions. When I first picked it up I thought it was written by an adult about his transitioning from the gender he was born to the gender he knew he was, and I was amazed when part way through I realized it was written by a 13 year old!
Grayson is quite the author! He documented his thoughts from when he was young beautifully and it’s done in such a way that both kids and adults, trans or not, can understand how someone can feel they are the wrong gender from a very young age.
Grayson is doing a real service with this book. He is so lucky he had the support of his family, including his identical twin sister, because some trans kids spend their entire childhood’s living what feels to them to be a lie. This book will help those kids’ families and their teachers and classmates be more understanding.
Kudos to you, Mr. White on a fantastic book! I can’t wait to see what other books you will grace us with in your future!
Grayson is quite the author! He documented his thoughts from when he was young beautifully and it’s done in such a way that both kids and adults, trans or not, can understand how someone can feel they are the wrong gender from a very young age.
Grayson is doing a real service with this book. He is so lucky he had the support of his family, including his identical twin sister, because some trans kids spend their entire childhood’s living what feels to them to be a lie. This book will help those kids’ families and their teachers and classmates be more understanding.
Kudos to you, Mr. White on a fantastic book! I can’t wait to see what other books you will grace us with in your future!
September 17, 2023
This is an amazing first-person account of growing up not only transgender, but in a loving, accepting environment! So nice! Only qualm I have is the back says the author is now twelve but the last chapter says he's thirteen... oops. D:
(I suppose, also, that I'm Not a Girl isn't also listed in the recommended reading section, but it may be because that's aimed at even younger rather than older readers.)
Full disclosure: My copy has the cover for this edition but is the hardcover physical edition.
(I suppose, also, that I'm Not a Girl isn't also listed in the recommended reading section, but it may be because that's aimed at even younger rather than older readers.)
Full disclosure: My copy has the cover for this edition but is the hardcover physical edition.
February 3, 2024
Yikes, I really didn’t love this book. As a non-binary reader, I hate giving a less-than-stellar review on a book by a trans author, so I’m grappling with integrity here. I think the book could be renamed “A child transitions: The best case scenario”. The book is set within a family utopia where acceptance and encouragement are ubiquitous. Of course we need more trans joy, but perhaps a child’s perspective is just too simplistic to fully acknowledge how different a lot of readers’ experiences will (unfortunately!) be. But the book describes how every trans child deserves to be treated by their family members, so that’s a worthwhile reason to pick it up.
November 2, 2023
This was a quick read (the book was in the Middle School section at Target). It is good to hear this written by a young trans person in their own voice.
My brother was gay (he passed away several years ago) and I remember him not using the restroom at school (in the late 60s) when he was in high school. He never told me why, but I'm pretty sure he was teased-to-bullied.
My only fear about this book is that it will be banned, and some children that really need the confirmation of their thoughts, concerns, feelings will not have this resource available.
My brother was gay (he passed away several years ago) and I remember him not using the restroom at school (in the late 60s) when he was in high school. He never told me why, but I'm pretty sure he was teased-to-bullied.
My only fear about this book is that it will be banned, and some children that really need the confirmation of their thoughts, concerns, feelings will not have this resource available.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 11, 2024
Dotson
Grayson White
Preteen Grayson, using clear language, short chapters, and brightly colored illustrations describes being born an identical twin who was assigned female at birth. He comes up with “Dotson,” combining daughter and son to describe his initial feelings of gender dysphoria, but by age seven or so he has initiated a change of name and pronouns. Grayson has lots of family support, although school bathrooms and the response of friends can be challenging. A very helpful book for most elementary and middle school libraries. EARC from Edelweiss.
Grayson White
Preteen Grayson, using clear language, short chapters, and brightly colored illustrations describes being born an identical twin who was assigned female at birth. He comes up with “Dotson,” combining daughter and son to describe his initial feelings of gender dysphoria, but by age seven or so he has initiated a change of name and pronouns. Grayson has lots of family support, although school bathrooms and the response of friends can be challenging. A very helpful book for most elementary and middle school libraries. EARC from Edelweiss.
February 12, 2024
What a refreshing read!
Dotson is a memoir told by the author Grayson Lee White. White gives us his personal insight about very pivotal times in his transgender journey. While White's journey is supported by his loving family and friends, he also knows that not every person's journey will be positive, which is why the book includes a glossary of terms that are heavily used in the trans community as well as several websites and books that offer help to those going through their own journeys.
Dotson is a memoir told by the author Grayson Lee White. White gives us his personal insight about very pivotal times in his transgender journey. While White's journey is supported by his loving family and friends, he also knows that not every person's journey will be positive, which is why the book includes a glossary of terms that are heavily used in the trans community as well as several websites and books that offer help to those going through their own journeys.
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