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Un Largo Camino
Dos mundos completamente distintos chocan y se enfrentan en la relación que mantienen Ford y Dan; ambos no sólo proceden de muy distintas clases sociales, sino que además su amor desafía el tabú del amor entre hombres, entre personas del mismo sexo. Un relato y una obra distintos, que pone el acento en la disconformidad con la sociedad y el rol que esta en ocasiones nos otorga.
271 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
35 people are currently reading
4776 people want to read
About the author
Jim Grimsley
47 books390 followersJim Grimsley published a new novel in May of 2022, The Dove in the Belly, out from Levine Querido. The book is a look at the past when queer people lived more hidden lives than now. Grimsley was born in rural eastern North Carolina. He has published short stories and essays in various quarterlies, including DoubleTake, New Orleans Review, Carolina Quarterly, New Virginia Review, the LA Times, and the New York Times Book Review. Jim’s first novel Winter Birds, was published in the United States by Algonquin Books in the fall of 1994. Winter Birds won the Sue Kaufman Prize for best first novel from the American Academy of Arts and Letters and was a finalist for the PEN/Hemingway Award. He has published other novels, including Dream Boy, Kirith Kirin, and My Drowning. His books are available in Hebrew, German, French, Spanish, Dutch, Italian, Japanese, and Portuguese. He has also published a collection of plays and most recently a memoir, How I Shed My Skin. His body of work as a prose writer and playwright was awarded the Academy Award in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters in 2005. For twenty years he taught writing at Emory University in Atlanta.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 192 reviews
November 28, 2015
Dave Malone, the best writing teacher I've ever had, once asked me to describe the difference between fiction and literature. I don't remember exactly how I answered, but I do remember that I was judged to be incorrect. According to Dave, the difference is simple: fiction makes statements; literature asks questions.
The central question of Comfort and Joy is "Why do men stay together?" I have to say that I had a very negative, knee-jerk reaction to that question because, in the context of this great book, it suggests that we gay men are somehow lacking. It suggests we lack the ability to commit to one another because we don't build the trappings of "normal" life around ourselves. We don't, as a rule, get married and buy a cute little house in the 'burbs with a white picket fence. We don't, as a rule, raise children. We, the question suggests, lack the ability to tough things out and stay together.
So, Jim Grimsley asks this rather offensive question, then he answers it lyrically, beautifully, and with great eloquence. I already know the reasons men stay together and so does anyone with sense, but it was a thrill to read as this author laid those reasons out so poetically.
This is a truly great book. I'll be reading it again.
January 21, 2015
It is a love story. Wonderful, beautiful, forbidden, honest and very real. This book is very difficult to review for me. I have an impression that everything that I'll say about this novel and about the relationship between Ford McKinney and Dan Crell won't do justice neither the book, nor the MCs.
It is probably the quietest love story I've ever read. And these contradictions between the two protagonists and their backgrounds, between the stillness and tenderness of telling, the soft flowing of words and lines -like a gentle touch with fingertips - and yet the deepest insights into the very heart of the matter achieved the most powerful effect.
For me the central idea of the novel was hidden in the longest quote I've highlighted, here is just a part of it:
Why do men stay together? It is easy to understand why they fuck, but why do they stay together, what is the answer? Why do they live in the same house, share meals together, argue about money and parents, why do they have pets, plant begonias, bring home birthday cakes? Where are the children, where is the sense of permanence, what is the tie that binds?
The answer is easy and simple. And yet often full of obstacles that have to be overcome. But it's worth it.
YOU HAVE TO READ IT. PLEASE, READ IT!
And it is about Christmas!
So, NOW it would be the best time for it.
Read
March 4, 2019
Throwing the towel at 32%
I bought this without reading the sample based only on great reviews.
Why????
I don't know. But I do know I'll be getting my money back for this.
Dan lay his hand on the door latch. The driver opened his door and got out. Dan opened his door and got out. The cold air chilled his face as he waited for the driver to open the trunk. The driver lifted the first of the bags and Ford reached for it; the driver looked at Dan, who said, “It’s all right.”
*******************************************
Dan sat quietly beside Ford, watching, hearing the change in Ford’s breathing that indicated he would soon be asleep. Dan unlaced Ford’s shoes, and Ford stirred, murmuring. Dan undressed him with practiced gestures. Dan read for a while, sitting in one of the chairs. When Ford’s breath fell and rose in waves, Dan lay down beside him.
****************************************************
Should I have perceived? Probably, but after my latest fiasco I have no patience for this kind of telling-writing, Dan did this and Dan did that.
I stopped at some Christmas festivities where Ford went to spend time with his family. It was a massive chapter, nothing major, info about uncles, mother, father, grandmother, it took about 10% of the book, and it left me bored to death.
Peace, folks!
November 8, 2014
Since two of my Gr friends are reading this book right now, I think it's time for me to review this amazing novel.
I read it a couple of years ago but it still has a special place in my heart. It's a wonderful love story between two men (a doctor raised by a homophobic rich family and a nurse with a severe health condition coming from a poor childhood)
I think it's a very honest portrait of a gay relationship, with all the sparkling of a true love and all the downsides of the everyday life perfectly balanced. Also, all the difficulties that a same-sex couple has to face when trying to build a family are thoroughly depicted.
Slightly melancholic, I highly recommend it if you are looking for something different from the usual MM genre.
Rating raised from 4 to 5 stars because of reasons.
December 5, 2014
Quiet writing which is able to spike up out of nowhere and give you a dose of emotion.
Grimsely gives us a quiet mixture of attraction, love, need for closeness, for belonging, family against almost unsurmountable odds, ill health, danger, different backgrounds, different finances, different relationship. And still they tried and went on.
Throughout the book I saw parallels to every couples life regardless of gender. Those, who live or who lived an amount of time within a couple recognises the love/hate/anger/ comfort mixture that is coupledom.
The book is the product of another time, a time where many may have questioned ‘Why do men stay together?’ The answer is the same as to why any couple stays together, in any gender mix really. The need for closeness, for belonging, for family is not simply just a need to procreate but it goes deeper than that deeper to the place where we are alone and feel our loneliness deeply and seek to let another one in into that deep, deep self so that where one stood, two can now be together. Fortunately the answer to the author’s question ”Why do men stay together?” doesn’t need to be blared out so vehemently nowadays as the question is no longer so pertinent.
BR 1st Dec 2014 with Irina, Karen, Maya and Alona - thanks for the company and the discussion.
Our BR link
December 5, 2014
If you're looking for a pithy review, that's about plot and characters, look elsewhere.
If you want to read a meandering review about how it reminded me of my teenaged best friend, and my marriage, then you're in the right place.
I decided to read this because of a lot of people had been 'talking' about it, which then developed into a BR, but I didn't expect the book to affect me as much as it did.
When I started reading it I cried, not those engineered ugly tears, but a quiet trickle, I was on my way to work and didn't actually realise I WAS crying for a while. It's not that this is particularly a sad book, but that it initially reminded me so much of my bf when I was school, Rob.
Dan in the book shares a lot of personality traits with Rob, and I found this quite difficult to read in places. I don't know what it was like in America, but to come out in the UK in the 1980's was extremely difficult if you didn't live in a big city (and we didn't) and the promiscuous club culture and/or comedy camp gay was what most people associated with gay men. The spectre of HIV/ AIDS haunts many from that time, and Rob was no exception.
As I read on, I thought about my own marriage, and the response of my parents to my husband. When I met him I was 23, and I was still 23 when we got married. My parents did not approve of his ethnicity (he is half Indian)or his perceived lack of direction. He was not made welcome in my parents home, and 20 years later is still only tolerated.
We all want our own version of a happy ending, whatever that means for us. For me, it meant to live my life with the person I love while keeping the love of my family. That hasn't always been possible for me, and no matter how much romance novels tell you that the one big love is all you need, in my reality I wanted my parents to be as happy and invested in my relationship as they had been invested and happy in my life when I was single.
The beautiful quiet understated writing in this book I would have found moving without any kind of personal connection, that just made it more for me.
For me it started shrouded in melancholy, then the daily beauty of being in love, and building a loving relationship brought hope and joy.
It was a pleasure to read, and thank you to my fellow readers for enhancing it for me.
If you want to read a meandering review about how it reminded me of my teenaged best friend, and my marriage, then you're in the right place.
I decided to read this because of a lot of people had been 'talking' about it, which then developed into a BR, but I didn't expect the book to affect me as much as it did.
When I started reading it I cried, not those engineered ugly tears, but a quiet trickle, I was on my way to work and didn't actually realise I WAS crying for a while. It's not that this is particularly a sad book, but that it initially reminded me so much of my bf when I was school, Rob.
Dan in the book shares a lot of personality traits with Rob, and I found this quite difficult to read in places. I don't know what it was like in America, but to come out in the UK in the 1980's was extremely difficult if you didn't live in a big city (and we didn't) and the promiscuous club culture and/or comedy camp gay was what most people associated with gay men. The spectre of HIV/ AIDS haunts many from that time, and Rob was no exception.
As I read on, I thought about my own marriage, and the response of my parents to my husband. When I met him I was 23, and I was still 23 when we got married. My parents did not approve of his ethnicity (he is half Indian)or his perceived lack of direction. He was not made welcome in my parents home, and 20 years later is still only tolerated.
We all want our own version of a happy ending, whatever that means for us. For me, it meant to live my life with the person I love while keeping the love of my family. That hasn't always been possible for me, and no matter how much romance novels tell you that the one big love is all you need, in my reality I wanted my parents to be as happy and invested in my relationship as they had been invested and happy in my life when I was single.
The beautiful quiet understated writing in this book I would have found moving without any kind of personal connection, that just made it more for me.
For me it started shrouded in melancholy, then the daily beauty of being in love, and building a loving relationship brought hope and joy.
It was a pleasure to read, and thank you to my fellow readers for enhancing it for me.
April 17, 2012
March 22 2010
I can certainly relate to this novel, as I suspect many males in long term spousal relationships can do. I too had to choose between my spouse (of 30 years) and my parents. This book ends with such a choice made by Ford, leaving the future to the experience of the reader. It took about 5 years before my parents came around to accept us completely and now give Chris their love, always ask about him. Sometimes, I even think they like him better than me :-) He has become like an adopted son to them. But we had to be persistent in our stance that we are a couple and do things together, even visiting out parents on holidays.
Grimsley is a wonderfully poetic writer, His words flow off the mind's tongue making for a delightful readability.
Experiencing Ford and Danny's developing relationship, and the "slings and arrows" of male-male relationships reminded me of all the work, ups and downs Chris and I have experienced over the last 30 years. It had the effect of reminding me how much I love him and really why. And, for all you out there who have trouble understanding Gay relationships, sex is a relatively minor part of long term relationships, whether gay or straight.
All in all, a delightful book relevant to Gay couples as well as relatives and friends of Gay couples.
_____________
Apr 16 2012
I unknowingly reread this book again. What can I say, it was next up on my TBR pile, so I probably have 2 copies. It seemed a bit familiar to me, but I thought it because I was reminded of the early years of my relationship. I found it thoroughly enjoyable again and was happy to find a literary m/m novel that is not about teens, for teens, ie YA.
I upped it to 5 stars, because I will likely read it again and want my spouse, Chris to read it.
I can certainly relate to this novel, as I suspect many males in long term spousal relationships can do. I too had to choose between my spouse (of 30 years) and my parents. This book ends with such a choice made by Ford, leaving the future to the experience of the reader. It took about 5 years before my parents came around to accept us completely and now give Chris their love, always ask about him. Sometimes, I even think they like him better than me :-) He has become like an adopted son to them. But we had to be persistent in our stance that we are a couple and do things together, even visiting out parents on holidays.
Grimsley is a wonderfully poetic writer, His words flow off the mind's tongue making for a delightful readability.
Experiencing Ford and Danny's developing relationship, and the "slings and arrows" of male-male relationships reminded me of all the work, ups and downs Chris and I have experienced over the last 30 years. It had the effect of reminding me how much I love him and really why. And, for all you out there who have trouble understanding Gay relationships, sex is a relatively minor part of long term relationships, whether gay or straight.
All in all, a delightful book relevant to Gay couples as well as relatives and friends of Gay couples.
_____________
Apr 16 2012
I unknowingly reread this book again. What can I say, it was next up on my TBR pile, so I probably have 2 copies. It seemed a bit familiar to me, but I thought it because I was reminded of the early years of my relationship. I found it thoroughly enjoyable again and was happy to find a literary m/m novel that is not about teens, for teens, ie YA.
I upped it to 5 stars, because I will likely read it again and want my spouse, Chris to read it.
March 12, 2015
4.5 stars
"When will you know if you want to give up?"
In answer, Ford knelt in front of Dan, laying his arms across Dan's lap and leaning his head into the center of Dan's chest. The contact shocked them both. "I could ask you the same thing. When will you know?"
Very realistic and honest love story to which, I believe, everyone who’s ever been in a relationship can relate.
The author throws many obstacles for Dan and Ford to overcome – completely different background, disease, homophobic and conservative parents, Ford is in the closet – all of which I’ve often met in romance, and yet I felt they were presented in a unique way here.
But the beauty of this story is not only in the ways Dan and Ford came together to face these difficulties. What drew me into this book and made me connect was how it is written; it’s quiet, gentle even, and that made the little things Dan and Ford did in their everyday life matter so much more and showed the strength of their bond. Little things, done without intent or plan, like watching each other sleep and the tenderness and peace that came with it, how Ford felt his house finally coming to life the moment Dan stepped inside, how Dan allowed Ford to help him and Ford realized what it cost for Dan to do that, the bone deep fear each of them could make the other feel with only a word or a gesture, the pleasure a simple touch or just hearing the voice of the other brought – all these moments were extremely emotional and poignant.
A truly wonderful book.
BR with Sofia, Irina, Karen, and Alona – thank you, ladies, it was a pleasure.
May 20, 2016
Jim Grimsley is one of my favorite authors. He has a way of cutting me to the emotional core yet making me feel somehow bettered for having read his books. Reflecting on his writing generally conjures in my mind terms like "raw", "gritty" and "disturbing", but never have I described one of his books as "lovely". This one is lovely. It is plain and simply a love story, not in the saccharin sense of a romance novel but in the authentic sense of what it takes for two imperfect people to make love work in a far from perfect world. It is the tale of Dan and Ford, two young men who find their way to one another through the miasma of family, self-doubt, and societal expectations. It is a beautiful reminder that love comes in many forms and none is less valid than another. As with all of Grimsley's books, I feel bettered for having read this. But this one left me with a smile on my face as well. Again, just lovely.
January 26, 2025
✰ 3 stars ✰
Tender and touchable, reflective and introspective, poignant and emotional that brings tidings of Comfort and Joy to to the conclusion of Dan Crell's story. For the instant twenty-eight-year-old Ford McKinney, the charming and handsome doctor, golden boy of his old Savannah family, heard the melodious voice of the reserved but strikingly enigmatic hospital administrator sing the tunes of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen," he's been mesmerized and in awe of this beautiful and haunting soul. And when a tentative friendship strikes up between the two, it slowly peels away their own personal inhibitions and reservations that have prevented them from finding the comfort of life with someone else, that also slowly reveals to them the joy it is to have someone in their life to share it with. 🙏🏻
The story is a two-fold character-driven narrative, one that weighs on Dan's own personal war waging in his heart over the traumas and guilt of his past that has him defensive in his hesitation to pave a permanence into Ford's heart, angered and grieving for his own inability to be whole. And another that reflects on Ford's initial interactions with his parents that are fervently adamant to have their son settle down with a wife, in order for the family name to live on, while he internally struggles with opening up to them that he has no intention of settling down - with a woman, that is. 😔 It is during these persistent demands, that he meets Dan, and a hesitant, but earnest relationship begins between the two that is both a frustrating challenge, albeit a wanting one, in how he wants to be with him, but is to afraid to be open about it.
"I don't want a roommate."
What do you want? ... the sound so real he nearly turned to find its source, be it ... or his own conscience. What do you want?
"I just want to make sure you're not my roommate. I want you to be something else."
It does become a bit heavy and heartbreaking to see how Ford is reluctant and still unable to admit how Dan is special to him, how Dan has to silently embrace those worries, but there is a certain grace to it that made it understandable. How Ford knows innately that Dan is special to him, but cannot understand what is so wrong about it - even when their hearts ache for each other. 😥 'How do we get past this? Danny, this won't last if we don't do something.' Moments of their past intersperse into the present timeline, where he and Dan are on their way to spend Christmas with Dan's family. It is in that Christmas gathering that the author gives us a glimpse into how their different upbringings have shaped them into the men they are, while also their personal expectations are what force them to act or behave, and even love in a way that may not be entirely forgiving, but one they feel can offer the best hope and solace to each other. 🫂
It speaks volumes of what Dan knows he's asking of Ford to stay with him, whilst Ford has realized what a gift and a treasure it is to love someone like Dan. Through the course of the few years leading up to this pivotal Christmas trip, we see the petty and valid arguments, the sincere and heartfelt connections, the intimacy that is a double-edged sword of yearning and desire - it is being saved and saving someone that I realize was the emphasis of having the story told as such. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 'They stood in the dark, Ford's fear overcome by his wish to keep Dan close to his body at that moment.' For their doubts and insecurities of what their future means, is what led them to the final stage of confrontation with a solid resolve that this truly is the final stage for both of them, without remorse or regret.
"Don't run away, okay?"
What surprised him was not the urge. What surprised him was the need to stay."
The scene where the two of them revisit the Circle House was a ghost of a haunting memory - silently powerful in capturing Dan's emotions - 'he again felt his own ghost in the house, the small boy who still wandered in these rooms, searching for what he had lost.' - the terrible memories that he is unable to escape from. Jim Grimsley's writing evokes sadness, but with this innate feeling of wanting his characters to reconcile with their emotions. 😢💔 It is hard to see Dan put up with Ford's inhibitions, while struggling with his own hemophiliac dependency. 'To stand so near, to allow touch, to love with the fingertips, were victories.' There is this deeply intimate connection between the two, that speaks of a silent understanding, but fervent longing, that they are meant to be together - just unable to shed those inner demons they can't let go of. 🥺
The sharp contrast of their family dynamics is the keystone of those restraints - where Ford's upbringing was shaped with money and ease, it is their reluctance to accept his sexuality that makes him appreciate the kindness and warmth and acceptance that radiates from Dan's family, despite the harsh and bleak childhood that haunts their memories. 😟 And it is that courage and love that has Ford make a crucial decision one - to choose between his family and Dan that is the breaking point - one that is of defiance and certainty - of love and openness - of shedding his fears and confessing his heart's true intentions - 'I don't come home unless you come with me.' A quiet but impactful victory, one not without its hurt or pain, but still with a profound strength of gratitude and forgiveness that despite the hurdles yet to come, there is comfort and joy in sharing it with the one you love. 🫶🏻
“Again his singing told those who listened that the joy of the saved is the sorrow of the savior, that the tiny child might wish another fate.”
Tender and touchable, reflective and introspective, poignant and emotional that brings tidings of Comfort and Joy to to the conclusion of Dan Crell's story. For the instant twenty-eight-year-old Ford McKinney, the charming and handsome doctor, golden boy of his old Savannah family, heard the melodious voice of the reserved but strikingly enigmatic hospital administrator sing the tunes of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen," he's been mesmerized and in awe of this beautiful and haunting soul. And when a tentative friendship strikes up between the two, it slowly peels away their own personal inhibitions and reservations that have prevented them from finding the comfort of life with someone else, that also slowly reveals to them the joy it is to have someone in their life to share it with. 🙏🏻
The story is a two-fold character-driven narrative, one that weighs on Dan's own personal war waging in his heart over the traumas and guilt of his past that has him defensive in his hesitation to pave a permanence into Ford's heart, angered and grieving for his own inability to be whole. And another that reflects on Ford's initial interactions with his parents that are fervently adamant to have their son settle down with a wife, in order for the family name to live on, while he internally struggles with opening up to them that he has no intention of settling down - with a woman, that is. 😔 It is during these persistent demands, that he meets Dan, and a hesitant, but earnest relationship begins between the two that is both a frustrating challenge, albeit a wanting one, in how he wants to be with him, but is to afraid to be open about it.
"I don't want a roommate."
What do you want? ... the sound so real he nearly turned to find its source, be it ... or his own conscience. What do you want?
"I just want to make sure you're not my roommate. I want you to be something else."
It does become a bit heavy and heartbreaking to see how Ford is reluctant and still unable to admit how Dan is special to him, how Dan has to silently embrace those worries, but there is a certain grace to it that made it understandable. How Ford knows innately that Dan is special to him, but cannot understand what is so wrong about it - even when their hearts ache for each other. 😥 'How do we get past this? Danny, this won't last if we don't do something.' Moments of their past intersperse into the present timeline, where he and Dan are on their way to spend Christmas with Dan's family. It is in that Christmas gathering that the author gives us a glimpse into how their different upbringings have shaped them into the men they are, while also their personal expectations are what force them to act or behave, and even love in a way that may not be entirely forgiving, but one they feel can offer the best hope and solace to each other. 🫂
It speaks volumes of what Dan knows he's asking of Ford to stay with him, whilst Ford has realized what a gift and a treasure it is to love someone like Dan. Through the course of the few years leading up to this pivotal Christmas trip, we see the petty and valid arguments, the sincere and heartfelt connections, the intimacy that is a double-edged sword of yearning and desire - it is being saved and saving someone that I realize was the emphasis of having the story told as such. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 'They stood in the dark, Ford's fear overcome by his wish to keep Dan close to his body at that moment.' For their doubts and insecurities of what their future means, is what led them to the final stage of confrontation with a solid resolve that this truly is the final stage for both of them, without remorse or regret.
"Don't run away, okay?"
What surprised him was not the urge. What surprised him was the need to stay."
The scene where the two of them revisit the Circle House was a ghost of a haunting memory - silently powerful in capturing Dan's emotions - 'he again felt his own ghost in the house, the small boy who still wandered in these rooms, searching for what he had lost.' - the terrible memories that he is unable to escape from. Jim Grimsley's writing evokes sadness, but with this innate feeling of wanting his characters to reconcile with their emotions. 😢💔 It is hard to see Dan put up with Ford's inhibitions, while struggling with his own hemophiliac dependency. 'To stand so near, to allow touch, to love with the fingertips, were victories.' There is this deeply intimate connection between the two, that speaks of a silent understanding, but fervent longing, that they are meant to be together - just unable to shed those inner demons they can't let go of. 🥺
The sharp contrast of their family dynamics is the keystone of those restraints - where Ford's upbringing was shaped with money and ease, it is their reluctance to accept his sexuality that makes him appreciate the kindness and warmth and acceptance that radiates from Dan's family, despite the harsh and bleak childhood that haunts their memories. 😟 And it is that courage and love that has Ford make a crucial decision one - to choose between his family and Dan that is the breaking point - one that is of defiance and certainty - of love and openness - of shedding his fears and confessing his heart's true intentions - 'I don't come home unless you come with me.' A quiet but impactful victory, one not without its hurt or pain, but still with a profound strength of gratitude and forgiveness that despite the hurdles yet to come, there is comfort and joy in sharing it with the one you love. 🫶🏻
January 5, 2009
Fiction. Full of flashbacks, red herrings, and the unsettling business of hemophilia, this novel jerked me around until I lost track of which Christmas it was and what occasion it marked for Dan and Ford's relationship. Complete with half-assed themes (Ford has a little boy inside him; Dan has two people inside him -- what? why? who?) and the gay equivalent of Cold Comfort Farm's famously vague "something nasty in the woodshed," this book left me feeling both cheated and disturbed. Something bad happened to Dan in the Circle House, but no one's talking. His dad's dead and so is his brother Grover, but that's another mystery left unsolved. And don't even try to bring up Duck! He says he's living in New Mexico, but the whole family knows it's a lie! That crazy Duck! If only I knew who he was!
All in all, this novel had less brutal rape and murder than Grimsley's Dream Boy did, but that doesn't necessarily recommend it. It had its lyrical moments, moments where I could feel the connection and the love between these two men, but mostly it felt staged and poorly structured. The flashbacks were awkwardly rendered and lacked a sense of relationship to the novel as a whole. After the final flashback, the phrase that leads us back into the present day narrative ridiculously begins, "So events had unfolded..."
Indeed, did they ever unfold. They unfolded like a life-size map of Georgia in a rented mid-size sedan. In fact, like all maps, it's unclear how this one ever fit together in the first place, and now that it's spread out, it's obvious it'll never again come together in a way that makes sense. It's the kind of thing that makes you want to shove the map out the window and buy a GPS. I don't think I'll be giving Jim Grimsley any more of my time.
All in all, this novel had less brutal rape and murder than Grimsley's Dream Boy did, but that doesn't necessarily recommend it. It had its lyrical moments, moments where I could feel the connection and the love between these two men, but mostly it felt staged and poorly structured. The flashbacks were awkwardly rendered and lacked a sense of relationship to the novel as a whole. After the final flashback, the phrase that leads us back into the present day narrative ridiculously begins, "So events had unfolded..."
Indeed, did they ever unfold. They unfolded like a life-size map of Georgia in a rented mid-size sedan. In fact, like all maps, it's unclear how this one ever fit together in the first place, and now that it's spread out, it's obvious it'll never again come together in a way that makes sense. It's the kind of thing that makes you want to shove the map out the window and buy a GPS. I don't think I'll be giving Jim Grimsley any more of my time.
March 12, 2015
4.5 Stars.
I finished this a while ago and for some reason I never found the way, or the words to review it.
I hope I will review it later when I'm on my laptop. But for now know that this is beautiful in a strange and unique way. The melancholy and beauty of the writing, and the realness of the story and its characters is wonderful.
It's a love story, but it's not your typical one. However it feels incredibly realistic, and it resonates with the reader (or it did with me, anyway).
I'll be back later with more, I hope.
I finished this a while ago and for some reason I never found the way, or the words to review it.
I hope I will review it later when I'm on my laptop. But for now know that this is beautiful in a strange and unique way. The melancholy and beauty of the writing, and the realness of the story and its characters is wonderful.
It's a love story, but it's not your typical one. However it feels incredibly realistic, and it resonates with the reader (or it did with me, anyway).
I'll be back later with more, I hope.
December 26, 2018
Comfort & Joy follows Ford and Dan as they embrace the challenges of their relationship. The holidays arrive and it becomes clear that meeting each other’s parents is a necessity in order to be happy, even if their parents can’t accept their happiness.
Comfort & Joy is a sombre yet hopeful Christmas read about the meaning of family.
3.5
Comfort & Joy is a sombre yet hopeful Christmas read about the meaning of family.
3.5
December 5, 2014
A beautifully written, very touching and poignant story.
I loved Dan and Ford. So very different, entangled in what seems like a hopeless relationship, they still manage to fight for their love. I liked their honesty, vulnerability, even doubts and desire to give up. It felt authentic. Like any other long-term relationship, facing different issues on a day-to-day basis. It's unavoidable, very often painful, but at the same time rewarding.
I honestly don't know how much time together Dan and Ford have, and I'm scared to follow that thought. But I suppose, their story shows that nothing is guaranteed and the best we can hope for is to have one another for as long as we can and treasure this time together.
I have only one tiny complaint, and that's being a somewhat abrupt ending. Despite my ability to invent my own HEA, I thought the epilogue would've gone a long way here. For me, anyway. As to some questions regarding Dan's past, I was pleasantly surprised to find out about his separate book, a prequel called Winter Break, and I might read it soon and find out what had actually happened to this fragile boy.
***4.5 stars***
Thanks to my girls for a company <3
BR with Sofia, Alona, Maya and Karen
I loved Dan and Ford. So very different, entangled in what seems like a hopeless relationship, they still manage to fight for their love. I liked their honesty, vulnerability, even doubts and desire to give up. It felt authentic. Like any other long-term relationship, facing different issues on a day-to-day basis. It's unavoidable, very often painful, but at the same time rewarding.
I honestly don't know how much time together Dan and Ford have, and I'm scared to follow that thought. But I suppose, their story shows that nothing is guaranteed and the best we can hope for is to have one another for as long as we can and treasure this time together.
I have only one tiny complaint, and that's being a somewhat abrupt ending. Despite my ability to invent my own HEA, I thought the epilogue would've gone a long way here. For me, anyway. As to some questions regarding Dan's past, I was pleasantly surprised to find out about his separate book, a prequel called Winter Break, and I might read it soon and find out what had actually happened to this fragile boy.
***4.5 stars***
Thanks to my girls for a company <3
BR with Sofia, Alona, Maya and Karen
March 29, 2019
Ich bekenne es gleich: Ich habe das Buch geliebt!
Die herzliche, offen sympathisierende Art, wie der Autor seine Protagonisten auf ihrem schwierigen Weg zueinander begleitet, hat mir sehr gefallen. Sie strahlt etwas unheimlich Zärtliches aus und machte es mir leicht, beide Männer zu mögen, sie auf ihrem steinigen Weg wohlwollend zu begleiten und mich zu empören, wenn sie Steine in den Weg gelegt bekamen. Das Schicksal des einen macht mich vor allem wegen der schweren Kindheit betroffen, das schwere Coming out des anderen kann ich wegen seiner eisekalten Eltern gut nachvollziehen. Und wenn das Paar sich am Ende als stärker erweist, als alle Widerstände, dann freue ich mich einfach für die beiden.
Die herzliche, offen sympathisierende Art, wie der Autor seine Protagonisten auf ihrem schwierigen Weg zueinander begleitet, hat mir sehr gefallen. Sie strahlt etwas unheimlich Zärtliches aus und machte es mir leicht, beide Männer zu mögen, sie auf ihrem steinigen Weg wohlwollend zu begleiten und mich zu empören, wenn sie Steine in den Weg gelegt bekamen. Das Schicksal des einen macht mich vor allem wegen der schweren Kindheit betroffen, das schwere Coming out des anderen kann ich wegen seiner eisekalten Eltern gut nachvollziehen. Und wenn das Paar sich am Ende als stärker erweist, als alle Widerstände, dann freue ich mich einfach für die beiden.
May 7, 2013
What draws two people together? What makes them decide to be a couple? How do they overcome the barriers that divide them; the things they hate about each other in spite of their love?
"Comfort & Joy" is a beautiful book in the tradition of Eudora Welty--a very southern story that nonetheless resonates across any such regional distinction. It is about two men, but the pieces of their stories could be assigned to any two people's lives. Grimsley fills the book with seemingly inconsequential minutia that offer the reader a crystalline vision of two people's lives as they slowly begin to merge. It demonstrates in a mature, adult way both the accidental quality of love, and its ability to endure and thrive in spite of the essential brokenness of human nature.
The set-pieces that make up the structure of the narrative, which spans the time around two consecutive Christmases, are all familiar from both film and literature. Clashing backgrounds, difficult families, traumatic childhoods--and yet in "Comfort & Joy" they are specific to these men and their lives. Grimsley has tailored broad realities to the uniqueness of Ford and Dan. He manages to dance around the edges of stereotype (rich Savannah, poor backwoods North Carolina) without ever falling into caricature. These people feel real, like people I've met.
All of the ingredients of a typical "gay romance" are here--and yet not one of them is used in a romantic way. There is nothing easy here, and yet the discomfort is never so great as to ruin the pleasure of reading Grimsley's prose and following these two complex, sympathetic men on their journey.
As usual, I ignored the rave reviews and read the negative ones. Everyone's entitled to his opinion, but the negative reviews were idiotic. As someone who's shared a life with another man for 37 years, there is a goldmine of truth here, unmitigated by violins and unbridled declarations of love. If you know nothing about gay people, this would be a good place to start. If you are part of a couple of any sort, you'll find echoes of your own life in these pages, even if the basics are unfamiliar.
"Comfort & Joy" is a beautiful book in the tradition of Eudora Welty--a very southern story that nonetheless resonates across any such regional distinction. It is about two men, but the pieces of their stories could be assigned to any two people's lives. Grimsley fills the book with seemingly inconsequential minutia that offer the reader a crystalline vision of two people's lives as they slowly begin to merge. It demonstrates in a mature, adult way both the accidental quality of love, and its ability to endure and thrive in spite of the essential brokenness of human nature.
The set-pieces that make up the structure of the narrative, which spans the time around two consecutive Christmases, are all familiar from both film and literature. Clashing backgrounds, difficult families, traumatic childhoods--and yet in "Comfort & Joy" they are specific to these men and their lives. Grimsley has tailored broad realities to the uniqueness of Ford and Dan. He manages to dance around the edges of stereotype (rich Savannah, poor backwoods North Carolina) without ever falling into caricature. These people feel real, like people I've met.
All of the ingredients of a typical "gay romance" are here--and yet not one of them is used in a romantic way. There is nothing easy here, and yet the discomfort is never so great as to ruin the pleasure of reading Grimsley's prose and following these two complex, sympathetic men on their journey.
As usual, I ignored the rave reviews and read the negative ones. Everyone's entitled to his opinion, but the negative reviews were idiotic. As someone who's shared a life with another man for 37 years, there is a goldmine of truth here, unmitigated by violins and unbridled declarations of love. If you know nothing about gay people, this would be a good place to start. If you are part of a couple of any sort, you'll find echoes of your own life in these pages, even if the basics are unfamiliar.
August 28, 2014
Well, this book waited patiently on my ipad for quite some time now. I even tried reading it several times and wasn't able to get further than two or three pages. Now obviously we matched! My mood and the story this book told, we fit perfectly. I loved the whole thing, first to last page. Wonderful writing, although from time to time I had difficulties to understand what was told - the current storyline or a flashback. But that never took long and was only a minor niggle.
May 3, 2019
4 1/2 stars. At first the non-linear format through me off but in the end I think it served a purpose & made the story more enjoyable.
April 5, 2021
The author has sensitively explored many aspects of a gay relationship unapologetically. It is not a novel about thrills or chills but of profound emotions. The difficulties between Ford, a pediatrician accustomed to the trappings of ancestral wealth and luxury, and Dan, a hospital administrator from an economically weaker section of society, are laid bare. The agonies of introducing one's gay partner to each other's hostile parents are recounted in excruciating detail. The author does not shy away from exploring difficult issues and realities.
An honest portrayal of what many gay men in America, and indeed the world, go through.
An honest portrayal of what many gay men in America, and indeed the world, go through.
January 29, 2019
BR with Kat. It's been a real pleasure! :D I was planning on sending everyone to your review, but you haven't one, please let me know when you do so I can copy-paste it ;P
Muy bonito todo, muy lírico y tal, pero me ha dejado fría. A este libro le falta alma.
Mi impresión es que el autor está tan preocupado de alejarse lo más posible del género novela romántica que al final la cosa se le queda en una narración de acontecimientos carente de sentimiento.
Ninguno de los personajes se sale del papel. Ford, pues no sé, chico, si tú nos dices que estás enamorado pues te tendremos que creer... y Dan -barra de hielo- debería ser un personaje con quien es fácil empatizar, pero nah, indiferente.
Y luego está la falta de cierre...
Queridos autores, insinuar y dejar entrever elementos de la trama para dejarlos sin cierre ni explicación no es ser creativo, es ser vago. Dar a entender cosas al lector con el fin de mantener su atención para luego dejarlo con las ganas no equivale a menos es más y no me lo trago como recurso molón. No esperéis que llene los espacios vacíos con mi imaginación, que sois vosotros quienes contáis la historia, no yo.
Y hasta aquí mi rant que ningún autor leerá jamás pero yo me quedo a gusto con el pataleo xD
En definitiva, es una lectura agradable porque no está mal escrito (y mi edición era de pasta dura preciosa con papel der güeno que eso también ayuda) pero ni me ha llegado ni entiendo tampoco a dónde quiere llegar el autor.
Muy bonito todo, muy lírico y tal, pero me ha dejado fría. A este libro le falta alma.
Mi impresión es que el autor está tan preocupado de alejarse lo más posible del género novela romántica que al final la cosa se le queda en una narración de acontecimientos carente de sentimiento.
Ninguno de los personajes se sale del papel. Ford, pues no sé, chico, si tú nos dices que estás enamorado pues te tendremos que creer... y Dan -barra de hielo- debería ser un personaje con quien es fácil empatizar, pero nah, indiferente.
Y luego está la falta de cierre...
Queridos autores, insinuar y dejar entrever elementos de la trama para dejarlos sin cierre ni explicación no es ser creativo, es ser vago. Dar a entender cosas al lector con el fin de mantener su atención para luego dejarlo con las ganas no equivale a menos es más y no me lo trago como recurso molón. No esperéis que llene los espacios vacíos con mi imaginación, que sois vosotros quienes contáis la historia, no yo.
Y hasta aquí mi rant que ningún autor leerá jamás pero yo me quedo a gusto con el pataleo xD
En definitiva, es una lectura agradable porque no está mal escrito (y mi edición era de pasta dura preciosa con papel der güeno que eso también ayuda) pero ni me ha llegado ni entiendo tampoco a dónde quiere llegar el autor.
November 23, 2022
Women both write and read most M/M Romance novels. In many cases, female writers present plots and storylines involving men in love with other men credibly and believably. When it comes to the anguish a man faces confronting and accepting his own sexuality, male writers usually have the benefit of personal experience to influence their writing. The same can be said about the anguish men feel when confronting their homophobic families with the man's sexual realities. Many male authors overcame that same anguish.
In spite of being a male writer, in Comfort and Joy, author Jim Grimsley fails to convey the intensity of emotional trauma experienced by men confronting their sexuality and their family. Grimsley observes the pain that the main character Ford McKinney experiences, but his observation is distant, lacking in empathy. It is as if he had observed a mouse who died in a mousetrap rather than another man who confronted extremely difficult circumstances.
Grimsley's research into various technical aspects of the diseases McKinney's lover, Dan Krell endures lends authenticity and credibility to the story. Reading the medical terms and descriptions seems authentic and factual. But the dispassionate rendition of the loving relationship between the men detracts from many otherwise emotionally powerful incidents within the storyline.
Main character Ford McKinney cannot accept his sexuality. Often, when with his lover, he is cold, yells at him without cause, and considers ending the relationship. He loves Dan, who loves him, yet he stands between that love and the happiness it ought to bring. His approach-avoidance psychological issues arise from his own insecurities rather than any element of Dan's character or behavior.
The ending of Comfort and Joy almost compensates for the weaknesses in Grimsley's telling of the story. The ending feels honest, authentic, and perfect for the circumstances created within the book's storyline.
Comfort and Joy is a pretty good book. Readers will find a good storyline and an authentic ending, but the book could have delivered more.
In spite of being a male writer, in Comfort and Joy, author Jim Grimsley fails to convey the intensity of emotional trauma experienced by men confronting their sexuality and their family. Grimsley observes the pain that the main character Ford McKinney experiences, but his observation is distant, lacking in empathy. It is as if he had observed a mouse who died in a mousetrap rather than another man who confronted extremely difficult circumstances.
Grimsley's research into various technical aspects of the diseases McKinney's lover, Dan Krell endures lends authenticity and credibility to the story. Reading the medical terms and descriptions seems authentic and factual. But the dispassionate rendition of the loving relationship between the men detracts from many otherwise emotionally powerful incidents within the storyline.
Main character Ford McKinney cannot accept his sexuality. Often, when with his lover, he is cold, yells at him without cause, and considers ending the relationship. He loves Dan, who loves him, yet he stands between that love and the happiness it ought to bring. His approach-avoidance psychological issues arise from his own insecurities rather than any element of Dan's character or behavior.
The ending of Comfort and Joy almost compensates for the weaknesses in Grimsley's telling of the story. The ending feels honest, authentic, and perfect for the circumstances created within the book's storyline.
Comfort and Joy is a pretty good book. Readers will find a good storyline and an authentic ending, but the book could have delivered more.
December 30, 2008
This is a queer romance, set around Christmas, so I thought it would be the perfect holiday read for me. Um. Not so much. The tone is just so dour—I’m not sure there’s a joke in the entire book. Neither Ford nor Dan particularly grabbed me. And Grimsley has this annoying tendency to write sentences. That stop. And devolve. Into fragments. Argh!
There are some nice atmospheric moments, but I never felt involved with the characters and was thus pretty bored.
There are some nice atmospheric moments, but I never felt involved with the characters and was thus pretty bored.
November 14, 2013
Are we sure this shouldn't be titled "Discomfort and Sorrow"???
I'm not sure if I'll ever go through the holidays hearing that song and feel the same again. Dan Crell and Ford McKinney are the central gay focus here. Dan works in the administrative office of Grady Hospital where Ford is a doctor. Ford's family is of old money from Savannah, but Dan grows up poor in rural North Carolina. Opposites attract and hey, it's the holidays...issues come up!
I'm not sure if I'll ever go through the holidays hearing that song and feel the same again. Dan Crell and Ford McKinney are the central gay focus here. Dan works in the administrative office of Grady Hospital where Ford is a doctor. Ford's family is of old money from Savannah, but Dan grows up poor in rural North Carolina. Opposites attract and hey, it's the holidays...issues come up!
January 4, 2014
This story tastes like real life -- sweet and sour. Both main characters Ford and Dan are far from perfect. It isn't easy for them to be together, quite the contrary. Life as a couple is often uncomfortable, frightening and confusing. But being separated is so much worse.
Comfort and Joy is a beautiful story with some dark undertones. I loved it all. It gave me exactly what the title promises: comfort and joy. And it'll make a wonderful re-read!
Comfort and Joy is a beautiful story with some dark undertones. I loved it all. It gave me exactly what the title promises: comfort and joy. And it'll make a wonderful re-read!
January 1, 2025
A true delight to re-read at the festive end of the year; a perfect mixture of sadness and hope.
December 24, 2025
why did i read a christmas book in july? no idea, but i don't regret it one bit. what a tender, human book. grimsley's style really did it for me here, can't wait to discover more of his stories.
June 4, 2022
so so beautiful. i’ve had this book on my to-read list for six years, and on my kindle for about a year i think? i was more interested in the premise of the author’s newest book, the dove in the belly, and i ended up inhaling that book yesterday; it was also a 5 star read. i’ve put off a lot of the author’s work for a long time after starting off with dream boy and not enjoying it, but i’m so glad i gave his other work a chance. this was such a lovely read. i think i loved the dove in the belly just a little bit more, as the dynamic between the couple in that book was just a little bit more to my personal liking, but this was still a wonderful book that i also devoured very quickly and in just a few hours.
this is definitely a spiritual predecessor to the dove in the belly. the author follows the same format of starting at a point when the relationship is already established, and then working nonlinearly from there. i thought i’d bring that up since i personally prefer for books about relationships to begin with the meeting itself.
however, i’m glad i didn’t know that before i picked up comfort & joy and the dove in the belly. i think the author really pulled off the nonlinear format, and the relationship building “worked” for me even though it tends not to work for me when books begin with the relationship already established. we still get plenty of opportunities to delve into the beginnings of the relationship.
i’ve seen this called a “quiet” love story, and it is, but boy can jim grimsley write a love story. like in the dove in the belly, i just so wholly believed that these two people loved each other. in a lot of ways this reminds me of queer indie films with quiet love stories, such as one of my favorite spanish-language films, esteros. i would love to see comfort & joy or the dove in the belly (or why not both?) adapted into a film. not to keep railing against dream boy but i would so much prefer his other work to be more lauded, or at least AS lauded. it’s just that at this point in my life i’m so much more interested in queer joy, not queer misery. comfort & joy ends happily (mostly) and so does the dove in the belly. queer misery CAN interest me, but it has to really work hard in order for that to happen.
comfort & joy does deal with homophobia, both externally and internally, but it does so very deftly. no melodrama, no stock character villain-esque parents. like i said, at this point in my personal queer life i’m not really interested in queer misery that deals with homophobia especially internalized homophobia. but this book worked hard at dealing with it, and pulled it off. its time period isn’t even all that apparent; it does not feel dated at all, but rather timeless. i was really impressed by that.
i hope that given more time, jim grimsley’s work apart from dream boy can join the ranks of such queer contemporary literary fiction legends as garth greenwell, christopher isherwood, and michael cunningham, to name a few. he’s a skilled writer and very deserving. i would personally strongly recommend comfort & joy and the dove in the belly!
this is definitely a spiritual predecessor to the dove in the belly. the author follows the same format of starting at a point when the relationship is already established, and then working nonlinearly from there. i thought i’d bring that up since i personally prefer for books about relationships to begin with the meeting itself.
however, i’m glad i didn’t know that before i picked up comfort & joy and the dove in the belly. i think the author really pulled off the nonlinear format, and the relationship building “worked” for me even though it tends not to work for me when books begin with the relationship already established. we still get plenty of opportunities to delve into the beginnings of the relationship.
i’ve seen this called a “quiet” love story, and it is, but boy can jim grimsley write a love story. like in the dove in the belly, i just so wholly believed that these two people loved each other. in a lot of ways this reminds me of queer indie films with quiet love stories, such as one of my favorite spanish-language films, esteros. i would love to see comfort & joy or the dove in the belly (or why not both?) adapted into a film. not to keep railing against dream boy but i would so much prefer his other work to be more lauded, or at least AS lauded. it’s just that at this point in my life i’m so much more interested in queer joy, not queer misery. comfort & joy ends happily (mostly) and so does the dove in the belly. queer misery CAN interest me, but it has to really work hard in order for that to happen.
comfort & joy does deal with homophobia, both externally and internally, but it does so very deftly. no melodrama, no stock character villain-esque parents. like i said, at this point in my personal queer life i’m not really interested in queer misery that deals with homophobia especially internalized homophobia. but this book worked hard at dealing with it, and pulled it off. its time period isn’t even all that apparent; it does not feel dated at all, but rather timeless. i was really impressed by that.
i hope that given more time, jim grimsley’s work apart from dream boy can join the ranks of such queer contemporary literary fiction legends as garth greenwell, christopher isherwood, and michael cunningham, to name a few. he’s a skilled writer and very deserving. i would personally strongly recommend comfort & joy and the dove in the belly!
January 26, 2018
Jumping back and forth in time, Comfort and Joy charts the development of the relationship between Ford McKinney, a young doctor from a rich and deeply conservative family, and Dan Crell, a hospital administrator with serious health issues and a poor, troubled childhood. The story follows them from first meeting through getting together, living all the ups and downs of a budding and gradually deepening relationship, to their first Christmas visiting their respective families together as a couple.
Bittersweet and beautiful, with loads of character development that, in the end, was a joy to behold. The journey there was occasionally immensely frustrating, though - there was a long stretch of the story during which I wanted to shake Dan and tell him that he deserved sooo much better than Ford with his shitty attitude, huge hang-ups and unwillingness to understand Dan the slightest bit.
Bittersweet and beautiful, with loads of character development that, in the end, was a joy to behold. The journey there was occasionally immensely frustrating, though - there was a long stretch of the story during which I wanted to shake Dan and tell him that he deserved sooo much better than Ford with his shitty attitude, huge hang-ups and unwillingness to understand Dan the slightest bit.
December 25, 2024
What a wonderful little Christmas read. Comfort and Joy is a quiet little book; sad but hopeful. It’s about being queer during the holidays and the complication of family. I am lucky that my family is loving, but not everyone has that and this book demonstrates the nuances perfectly. Jim Grimsley once again stuns.
This is a mostly character driven book that shows Ford and Dan as they go home for Christmas. It jumps back and forth and shows the beginning of their relationship and their whole journey coming to terms with being queer in the late 90s when things were getting better but still complicated for out queer people. It was a little melancholy and had its sad moments, but still heartwarming and romantic in the end.
This is a mostly character driven book that shows Ford and Dan as they go home for Christmas. It jumps back and forth and shows the beginning of their relationship and their whole journey coming to terms with being queer in the late 90s when things were getting better but still complicated for out queer people. It was a little melancholy and had its sad moments, but still heartwarming and romantic in the end.
September 30, 2013
This was an INCREDIBLE book!!! Absolutely AMAZING!!!!
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