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266 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 5, 2023
What would happen if instead of being given an expectation for average healing time we were told the quickest known time someone took to heal? Would we heal faster? I believe we would. When I smashed my ankle, luckily I forgot that I was told that I would always walk with a limp. Whether I end up hitting the ball on the tennis court or miss it, there is no evidence of a limp.
Mindless conformity is behind many of the ways in which we give up free will. Take a famous example in social psychology called the Asch conformity experiment. People were shown three lines of different lengths and their task was to declare which of these lines was the same length as one of the other lines they were shown. Unbeknownst to the participants, accomplices working with the experimenter were planted to intentionally give an obviously wrong answer before it was the participants' turn to respond. Typically, the participants conformed and repeated the wrong answer that the person ahead of them had given rather than point out the error. We see this kind of thing all around us. Two of your friends refuse to take the Covid vaccine. While you thought the vaccine could be a good thing, do you now have second thoughts and delay getting it? Similarly, imagine you weren't inclined to get the vaccine but two of your good friends got it. Just as the participants in the Asch study went along with others despite what they initially saw, we too often conform.
The adage that we should not judge another person until we've walked a mile in their shoes would benefit from more thought. Consider the story of the Prince and the Pauper. The Prince wants to find out what it's like to be a pauper and so goes out from the kingdom donning clothes befitting an outcast. As I remember the story, living among the poor, he thinks he learns firsthand what life is like for those far less fortunate than he. Does the prince now have the perspective of a pauper? With this new wisdom, can he rule more justly? To my mind, the answer is no.
For me, the worst thing about being a pauper would probably be not knowing if I was ever going to have enough food to eat or to be safe. These are things that the prince, even when he is playing the pauper, can count on. All he has to do is stop trying to take the pauper's perspective and go back to being princely again. The pauper does not have the luxury of this choice.
Consider it this way. The advice we're too often given is that perspective is solely the result of being exposed to the same information given in the same way. If this were so, then all we have to do to understand how someone else might feel is to see the information "from their perspective.
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Forgiveness is better than blame, but there is a better-than-better: understanding. When you understand someone's behaviour from their perspective, there is no need to blame, and there is nothing to forgive.
You invite a couple for dinner at seven o'clock, but they don't show up until eight o'clock. One option we have is to view their lateness as a disrespectful affront to the value of our time and dinner preparation, and we spend the hour stewing and blaming. Then, when they arrive, we give them a haughty look and wait. We wait for their prostration and judge the sincerity of their apologies. After a pause, we magnanimously for give. Was our evening well spent?
We have another option. Assuming we can dispel mindless worry about their whereabouts or anxiety about overcooking their meal when they don't arrive at seven o'clock, we can look at it as though they have given us a gift.
Because mind and body are taken as one, mind-body unity predicts that what is true for our physical health is also true for our mental health. Attention to variability treatments, for example, also may be effective for people whose health issue is clinical depression. One of the stable beliefs held by people who are depressed is that their condition is not going to improve. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. But no one's depression is exactly the same from moment to moment nor from day to day. Noticing small improvements in how we feel may provide insights into our depression just as with physical symptoms. Attention-to-variability treatments may be useful for mental illnesses that the medical world may assume are intractable. With serious illnesses like schizophrenia, for example, rather than expecting the person suffering from symptoms to attend to their variability, perhaps the clinician can do the monitoring.
"...Most of this usage presents mindfulness as a condition solely of the mind and often related to the practice of meditation. But mindfulness—as my students and I have shown—is instead the simple process of actively noticing things, no meditation required. When mindful, we notice things we didn’t notice before, and we come to see that we didn’t know the things we thought we knew as well as we thought we knew them. Everything becomes interesting and potentially useful in a new way..."
"But my use of the word “mindfulness” also, importantly, refers to a condition of the body. Indeed, I believe our psychology may be the most important determinant of our health. I’m not just speaking of harmony between mind and body. I believe the mind and body comprise a single system, and every change in the human being is essentially simultaneously a change at the level of the mind (that is, a cognitive change) as well as the body (a hormonal, neural, and/or behavioral change). When we open our minds to this idea of mind-body unity, new possibilities for controlling our health become real. Making use of the power of a mindful body is well within our grasp."
"Schopenhauer is presumed to have said, “All research passes through three phases: First it is ridiculed; then it is violently opposed; and third it is accepted as self-evident.”