Handbook for Hard Times: A monk's guide to fearless living

by Gelong Thubten

'Thubten is a very generous and kind monk who writes with the lived honesty and humour of someone who has experienced the wisdom he shares. His writing is full of inspiration but also the pragmatism needed to form a sustainable practice. He clearly illustrates why we all need meditation and mindfulness in our lives.'- Benedict Cumberbatch

We all go through hard times. We can experience moments when life feels like an uphill struggle, leading to unhappiness and stress. Perhaps we are feeling sad, anxious, or are challenged to deal with something bigger, such as a bereavement, a loss, a painful ending or a broken heart. It is during these moments when life feels difficult that we could do with some help with our thoughts and feelings.

In HANDBOOK FOR HARD TIMES Sunday Times bestselling author of A Monk's Guide to Happiness Gelong Thubten teaches us to understand that happiness, kindness and resilience can be cultivated through reframing life's difficulties as opportunities for transformation. Meditation and mindfulness practices help us to access deep reserves of inner strength as we learn how to 'lean into' our suffering. Thubten suggests how we can find meaning in pain and discomfort, transforming deeply ingrained patterns of fear and resistance.

As we discover how hard times can enhance the development of mindfulness, compassion and forgiveness, we can develop a fearless outlook on life and lasting, unshakeable happiness.

This approachable and practical book, complete with meditations, is designed for modern times, and will be a valuable resource to anyone during times of struggle, but also during all times to encourage and build resilience and help us find inner contentment and peace.

'A most qualified guide in the journey from darkness and turmoil towards inner peace and positivity.'
ANNIE LENNOX

Genres: Buddhism, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Spirituality, Personal Development, Philosophy, Self Help

212 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 31, 2023

Reviews

[Joanna K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant! Accessible and easy to follow, makes for a nice evening read. Will definitely read his other book. Contains some really nice prompts for your own meditation practice - actually makes you want to try it.

[Nalu]

Bought this because the cover perfectly fits into my interior design choices. However, this holds a lot of wisdom and I did learn some valuable lessons!

[Gijs Limonard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical and no nonsense guide to putting Buddhist meditative practices to good use in real life; the narrative is pleasant, clear and easy to follow; along the way the core Buddhist principles are loosely discussed; recommended reading/listening.

[Ellen Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was very accessible and one of the least intimidating books on meditation I’ve come across.
I liked the wee exercises after each chapter, and found them really practical.
I did struggle with the more philosophical/esoteric parts, but otherwise I found this to be a helpful book.
Definitely a book I’d to own.

[Aleksandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

ta książka wiele uświadamia i i myślę że jest dobrym wsparciem dla osób stawiających pierwsze kroki w medytacji. zawiera trafne spostrzeżenia oraz ciekawe spojrzenie na współczesne problemy i nieustanną gonitwę za pragnieniami

[Vanessa Longley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my motivation for meditating. It’s early days but I’m feeling the benefits already.

[Jess K]

i did like it but i wanted to do the meditation exercises as they came up and never found the time. i do want to pick it back up in the future.
11/11/24 - 2/12/25
dnf @ 25%

[Emily Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Explains some of the concepts of Buddhism, broken down into chapters for key concepts. Interesting to hear the authors story of how he found Buddhism. Lots of scripts for different types of meditations. Found myself switching off in some of the chapters and a little too prescriptive, although definitely contains some interesting concepts.

[Julie]

Very good. Basic, straightforward, user friendly.

[Andru · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gelong has made me rediscover meditation. I have always felt like it was not for me. But in one of his interviews, he mentioned that nobody can fail at meditation, because you are literally doing nothing. Nobody can fail at doing nothing. Another misconception of meditation is that you’re supposed to “clear your mind”; which is one of the things that made me feel meditation was not for me because I could never. Instead, he mentioned having those distractions is the exact thing we need to meditate. (PS he did not mention this in the book specifically, but would like to highlight what I like about him in general)

The book contains a few stories from Gelong’s past and he matched them with meditation techniques that can help during similar situations. I think the book would be most effective to meditation beginners. It might not be the best book to start if you have no idea what meditation is, but it would be an amazing read for someone like me, who tried and felt like meditation failed me. I am picking meditation up again and having a much different appreciation towards it. 😊

[Ephena · Rating 5 out of 5]

The audiobook spoken by the author was a most helpful and consoling experience. I came prepared by similar books for example by Pema Chödrön ( lojong teachings and tonglen in „start where you are“), which made this an even more enriching experience for me, because some explanations and and background informations fall a bit short in the handbook for hard times. Practicing the meditations that are an extra of the audiobook contributed to the understanding and the helpfulness and also listening to podcasts with Gelong Thubten. His kind and compassionate ways are so healing.
Well if I could I would gift this audiobook to everyone I know and a few more, still I think they won’t have the same transformative experience. Let’s see how the ones that are actually interested are taking it 😉
So much thankfulness for this experience ❤️
I will continue these parctices

[Kai Waluszewski · Rating 5 out of 5]

A distillation of Buddhist wisdom for hard times, laced with glimpses into Thubten’s own journey of self-acceptance.

I greatly respect the author, his quest and his honesty. His prose is to-the-point, his message clarion. The techniques he describes are incredibly practical.

With that being said, two points of respectful criticism:

1. Being based on the author’s ‘extreme’ journey (an adjective Thubten himself uses), the book’s message can sometimes feel Manichean. Life is presented as either “chasing goals and people that never make us happy” OR “meditation”—no middle ground.

Most Terrestrians could probably benefit from a daily practice, but—unless aiming for enlightenment—may also find great fulfillment in meaningful relationships and aspirations. Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning” could complement this book well.

2. Intensive meditation retreats (especially lasting 4 years) won’t necessarily benefit everyone—and might not be the healthiest way to meditate.

The author’s experience is a great personal triumph—but organizations like Cheetah House suggest more measured practices—or even just simple mindfulness—may suit many people better. This is coming from someone with a daily practice and interested in trying a retreat (hopefully led by Thubten)—know thyself!

[Philip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gelong Thubten’s Handbook for Hard Times explores the deep connection between suffering and happiness, emphasizing that happiness isn’t about avoiding pain but about transforming how we relate to it. He teaches that suffering is often a state of mind—rooted in resistance, avoidance, and the constant search for external validation.

Rather than pushing discomfort away, Thubten encourages leaning into it, using meditation as a tool to cultivate resilience and inner peace. His message is particularly relevant in today’s world, where instant gratification often leaves people feeling unfulfilled. True happiness, he argues, comes from embracing life’s difficulties as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to escape.

[Eduardo Santiago · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving and unexpectedly accessible combination of personal memoir alongside Buddhist teachings and practices. "Unexpectedly," because the life of an Oxford graduate who switched to monastic living at age 21 would seem to be not at all relatable to my life or that of anyone I've ever known... but some basic truths are universal, and Thubten manages to cut to the heart of them.

I gained insights, learned, remembered, and have some exercises to add to my meditation practice. Most importantly, I've seen glimpses of how much work I have left to do, but am recognizing that without any sense of frustration or despondency. His voice is kind and patient, and (mercifully) there's no karma or reincarnation bullshit. Just simple humanity.

[Adam Madalina · Rating 5 out of 5]

💙💙"Durerea este inevitabila, suferinta este opționala."- Haruki Murakami
"Adevărata neinfricare nu consta în reducerea fricii, ci în depășirea ei."- Chogyan Trungpa
"Oportunitatea de a te percepe diferit pe tine însuți îți este mereu la îndemâna"- Mingyur Rinpoche
O carte chiar interesanta din care, dacă ai citi-o capitol cu, capitol, lasand timp între ele pentru a asimila și a pune în practica sfaturile din ea, te-ar ajuta în timp.
Nu as putea spune ca, cred în meditație, dat as putea spune că dacă ai vrea, cu siguranță ai putea schimba multe în percepția și mentalitatea ta fata de viata. Oricum ar acționa alții fata de tine, doar de tine depinde cum reacționezi la adresa lor.
Nu citesc astfel de cărți de obicei, dar aceasta chiar a fost ceea ce trebuie pentru a nu fi un chin lecturarea ei.💙💙
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Tony · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful book. From cover to cover. This is the kind of book you want to carry around and stop wherever you find yourself and read!
Points out all the benefits of meditation and the techniques. Gelong explains that meditation is not easy...even he struggles sometimes. This was a relief to me.
I'm not going to become a monk BUT this book did change my life. How much has it changed my life? Time will tell!

[Rona · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent guide to meditation with easily relatable metaphors and images. There are themes in each chapter, with some real stories around the theme, then a sample meditation at the end on that theme.
The epilogue contains a few more meditations.
A really accessible book if you are tempted to try to find another way through the hard times in life without self medicating on shopping, alcohol, drugs etc

[Ilaria Valenti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Buon libro introduttivo al tema della meditazione. Personalmente l'ho trovato un po' ripetitivo e a tratti pesante (probabilmente la lettura in inglese non ha aiutato), ma non si trattava dello mio primo libro sul tema ed essendo quasi tutti i concetti noti ho faticato un po' ad arrivarci in fondo. Ci sono alcuni spunti stimolanti e alcune delle meditazioni proposte sono interessanti. Lo consiglierei più come libro introduttivo che come approfondimento per chi già conosca il tema.

[Andrea Q · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple, clear explanations make this book a winner in my eyes, no gobbledygook! A really nice touch are the excellent meditations found at the end of each chapter. To be honest the audiobook has been superb for the meditations alone which have helped me tremendously. So much sensible wisdom has been packed into each chapter which can be easily applied to life. Huge thank you Thubten! ♥️

[Michael Moseley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an inspirational book to read. So many thoughts & ideas of how to live a happy life. I have read it twice and still think a need to research and adopt a lot more of the teachings than I have, A must read for anyone who wants to live a better life.

[Jools · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear and approachable, putting across the necessity of slowing down and turning inwards to improve our mental and physical health. Loved it, the book felt like sitting down and listening to him talk over a cup of tea.

[May S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book, beautifully written and very accessible. As a long term meditator (although not a Buddhist), I’ve found this book enlighten and helpful and it’s refreshed my practice.

[Josephine · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on meditation I've read.

[Owen Summerscales · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read but left me wanting more!

[Rhoda Groody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely thought-provoking. Insightful, comprehensive stroll around mindfulness. Loved it!

[Courtney Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book, full is practical wisdom that can be applied to everyday life. My daily meditation practice has been transformed thanks to this book. Highly recommend.

[Mark Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

A highly readable and encouraging guide to meditation and entry-level Buddhism.

[✨ReadQuiet✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for this gift to the world.

[Artur Ndoj · Rating 5 out of 5]

Philosophy for Fearless Living!

This is such a great book. I bought the kindle and audible version. I highly recommend both especially the audible version.

[Johanna Elsener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book and such concrete and applicable tools.