And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity

by Dannah Gresh

And the Bride Wore Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity by Dannah Gresh [Moo...

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Non Fiction, Christianity, Christian Living, Relationships, Faith

183 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Dannah Gresh, a mother/daughter communication coach, has sold well over three quarters of a million copies of her books—including And the Bride Wore White and 2008's best-selling CBA youth book, Lies Young Women Believe (coauthored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss)—making her one of the most successful Christian authors targeting teens and preteens. With the belief that today's culture has been seeking to rob little girls of their innocence, Dannah has been fighting on the front lines to protect them. Her fun line of Secret Keeper Girl mom/preteen daughter connecting resources and live events that tour the country provide moms with just the right tools to fight back. She has long been at the forefront of the movement to encourage both tweens and teens to pursue purity and is often called upon to defend the conservative position of abstinence in national news media like USA Today, Time, Chicago Tribune, and Women's Wear Daily. She is also a frequent contributor to FamilyLife Today, Midday Connection, and Focus on the Family. Dannah lives in State College, Pennsylvania, with her husband, Bob, and their children, Robby, Lexi, and Autumn, whom the family adopted from China in 2007. She and her husband founded Grace Prep, a new model in Christian high school education, which Bob administrates. She is shamelessly in love with her labradoodle, Stormie. (DannahGresh.com)

Reviews

[John Egbert · Rating 1 out of 5]

Warning: I will be making fun of myself, Jesus, God, and Satan. Oh, and also, this book. Beware.

Warning Warning: If after reading this review you feel the need to tell me I'm A)going to go to hell, B)am mocking god or Jesus and therefore I will go to hell, C)something really bad will happen to me or D)I simply don't understand because I haven't yet accepted Jesus as my savior then save it.
I've heard it before and I just don't care. Amen.

This is for the pure lulz. You're continuing reading at your own risk and by commenting in such a way you leave yourself open for me to totally pawn you. Sorry, that's just the way these things play out *Kanye shrug*


Me: Hey God. Wazzup.

God: Um...hey Sev.

Me: How do you know my name?

God: You're wearing it on a nametag.

Me: *checks nametag* Oh. Ya. Well, I wanted to have a little chat with you.

God: How did you even get in here?

Me: I didn't pick the locks to the gate or anything...heheheheh...

God: O_o

Me: Anywayz, so let's talk.

God: Sure thing. What about?

Me: This book, And the Bride Wore White--

God: Seven secrets to sexual purity, amirite?

Me: Yeah...you're right. So.

God: So.

Me: So.

God: So.

Me: So...do you really believe in all that crap?

God: Crap? Why does it have to be crap?

Me: Well, maybe I'd take the book seriously if it was telling all teens they should remain sexually abstinent until marriage. But no, only the women have to remain "pure". What the hell is up with the "pure" bullshit anyway? Does any woman who has sex before marriage become dirty or something?

God: Don't look at me, I didn't write the book :/

Me: Well it was you that drove the silly bitch to write this bullshit!

God: Don't put this on me. I have enough on my head anyway.

*Jesus enters*

Jesus: Hey dad. Hey Sev.

God: 'morning Jesus.

Me: Hi...how do you know my name?

Jesus: *points to nametag*

Me: *looks down at nametag* Oh ya.

Jesus: *rolls eyes*

Me: Um...so--

Jesus: So what's up, dad?

God: Oh, Sev was asking me about that cra--I mean, book, And The Bride Wore White.

Jesus: I really wish people would stop writing those kinds of books.

Me: So you don't agree with it either?

Jesus: *starts eating granola and ignores me*

Me: What's your problem?!

God: You say "Jesus H. Christ" all of the time and it annoys him.

Me: What? Why?

Jesus: I hate my middle name. I wish people would stop using it.

Me: Oh...well, sorry. Um, what does it stand for, anyway?

Jesus: ....Harold. Jesus Harold Christ. Can you believe it? I don't know what kind of drugs that woman was on when she named me.

God: Jesus! Don't talk about your mother that way.

Jesus: Yes, dad.

Me: O_o'

Jesus: What did you want again?

Me: So, um, how do you guys feel about waiting....

Jesus: Waiting for what?

Me: Uh...you know...

Jesus: No, not really.

Me: That...thing...it...?

Jesus: *blank stare*

Me: (to God) You haven't given Jesus The Talk yet?!

God: We just haven't gotten around to it...

Jesus: What talk?

Me: *facepalms*

God: Well, um, son, you see, when two people love each other, they, um...

Me: STOP JUST STOP.

Jesus: What? What is it?

Me: You can talk about this later! (To God) So what do you think about it?

God: Honestly, I don't give a f--I mean, care.

Me: Really?

God: Seriously, yeah. Wait or don't wait -- who am I to judge?

Me: Well, you are God.

God: Oh ya. Well in that case...here's my judgement; DON'T JUDGE OTHERS SO EASILY!

Me: So even if in the future I don't decide to wait, if there is a Hell, I won't go just because of that?

God: Sure. You're welcome to chill with me anytime :)

Me: You know what, you're pretty wise for an old white guy who refuses to shave. *reaches for Jesus's granola* Can I have some of that?

Jesus: No way.

Me: Please?

Jesus: Fine.

And on that day, God said that no you won't go to Hell just because you may or may not wait to have sex, Sev was welcomed to the pearly gates anytime and Jesus shared his granola.

Jesus loves the granolas. All the little granolas in the world.

[Emily May · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hate the ideas in this book. This is a dangerous and ridiculous idea that teaches girls that they are only as important as their hymen. Why isn't this book about the groom? Why must a woman remain sexually abstinent but not a man?
It's an outrage that this kind of crap can be published and I only hope young people will see sense and reject this backward nonsense. It must be bad times when I find myself hoping that girls will look to shows like Gossip Girl as an inspiration, but compared to harmful books like this, that would be a relief.

We should be teaching our girls and young women the importance of enjoying life, practicing safe sex and that they are of much greater worth than a film of skin between their legs. I'm just disappointed that I couldn't give this minus stars.

2014 edit: I read this book and wrote this review in February 2011. People still keep commenting and I'm no longer in a position to talk about it. I understand that my little review was quite aggressive and inflammatory... probably deserved, but maybe not. So please keep this in mind before getting pissed and ranting in the comments. Thank you.

[Cory · Rating 1 out of 5]

The wtfuckery in this book is astounding. I can't even believe people think like this. Then, all I have to do is look at books like Mara Dyer that are subsets of this mode of thought.

[Mitchell · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book has such great lessons for young women about staying pure for their husbands and God! It’s so great that someone wrote this book! And the lessons are so important! So I put them in a list so that I could always refer back to these godly teachings on purity!

On Female Sexuality

*women’s sexual needs are universal. girls are like robots, they are all the same. what are lesbians again?
*except I forgot that there are terrible women who apparently have sexual feelings like men. real women have no sexual desires, and they’d never think of pursuing men. that would suggest that women are equal to men, and that’s devil talk
*since you shouldn’t be having sex anyway we won’t get into birth control or STIs. three paragraphs is all you need honey
*and since you shouldn’t be having sex we definitely won’t mention birth control that girls can use. CONDOMS ARE ALL THERE IS AND EVER SHALL BE
*yeah it would be bad if you were well-informed about safe sex. education will be the death of us all
*there is no extramarital sex that exists without shame. SHAAAAAAAME
*you do not need to know about rape, masturbation, divorce, or birth control within marriage. what do you want, for us to give you the keys to hell?

On Rape Women Who Have Succumbed to Satan [TW: Rape]

*girls are the victims of Satan, not the boys who coerced or pressured them into sex. men will have sex with anything that moves, so they really can’t be culpable for this behavior
*boys will be boys, by the way. the groom wears black for a reason
*it’s only abuse if it happened when you were a kid. that’s why we wrote to you specifically at the end of the book
*but ‘rape’ is such a strong word, so let’s just call it a personal failure. there is no sex you can have where you don’t have responsibility, unless you were a child, like in the former bullet point
*not our fault you weren’t abstinent.

On Female Purity

*you are a valuable girl—but only if other girls aren’t. consider yourself a thing instead of a person, like a china cup. don’t you feel so special? no? well, then think about other girls like styrofoam cups so that you will know that God made you to be a better thing than them
*honey your boobs are going to hell. shame on you for wearing a push-up bra while reading this book, don’t you know that you are making yourself a temptation to men?
*you are what you wear. and that outfit definitely indicates that you have a thriving sex life

On Marriage

*good news, if your parents pick your husband for you all will go well! they know everything
*and also your parents are like little gods so listen to them. this truth will set you free
*don’t talk to boyfriends about periods. periods are inherently sexual and you must act as though you never have one
*NEVER DISCUSS MARRIAGE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. do it after you’re engaged, so he can’t back out
*having married sex is kind of like getting stuck in your pantry. that is why the perfect word to describe the experience is ‘wedged’
*the best sex of ever is like the kind Jewish Bible people had, where a girl had to look hot for her husband and perform her important duty of being his most precious object on a chair while he built her a house and then kidnapped her, maybe even in the middle of the night, to get the sexy times on. DON’T YOU FIND THE PATRIARCHAL ROMANCE INVIGORATING?

On Womanhood

*all girls want to be mothers someday. girls who don’t want to be mothers will never ever have sex so we won’t bother mentioning them
*labor is ‘ouchy.’ that’s the best word to use during this most sincere of memoirs when recalling a daughter’s birth
*a girl who loses the ability to reproduce basically has no purpose or joy in life anymore. so you better not get a hysterectomy or we’ll shoot you
*women who don’t objectify themselves according to the standard’s of this book are complete trash. this book comes from GOD are you saying you are not trash?
*ugh, women who have difficult relationships and broken hearts are just garbage. DON’T THESE GARBAGE WOMEN KNOW THAT MEN WANT PURE WIVES SOMEDAY?

On Good Role Models

* only use Bible verses where women have stumbled (although their lovers haven’t). it’s not like the Bible has a bias towards men, right? because it’s not like it was… only written by… men…
*all of our successful romantic relationships will be examples from nineteenth century romance novels. they are so relatable to the modern world and not problematic at all
*in addition, all evidence regarding how slutty clothing makes you a slutty person will be drawn from nineteenth century romance novels. back in the good old days when women could be oppressed without them complaining about it
*it is right and good to discuss this one unnamed girl’s sex life in detail probably without her permission! hallelujah for gossiping in the Lord’s name
*it is also right and good to talk about another girl’s slutty behavior on her Facebook page. who cares if I asked for her permission? doing this for Jesus

On Bad Role Models

*LET US SHAME ORPAH! we had no desire to actually open a Bible and find out what her name was, and since she didn’t get a book of the Bible named after her or be a king’s grandma, her personal choice to build a life that was best for her indicates that her life was TERRIBLE!
*let us brutally criticize single mothers as a lesson to others! single mothers deserve no compassion! they are loose women! burn them!
*if you don’t wait ‘til marriage then your out-of-wedlock baby will go to hell. no one will ever want to associate with your child of regret and bad decisions because yay stigma

Misc. Tips on Being a Christian

*the literal interpretation of Genesis trumps evolution and glorifies the victimization of women again! yay!
*according to C.S. Lewis, horses are better than lizards. God doesn’t love you if you like lizards because they are sinful
*YOU DO NOT NEED RESOURCES OTHER THAN WISE CHRISTIAN WOMEN. you do not need counseling, you do not need professional help, you do not need to see anyone other than your mom or your pastor or your older sister because you need to keep Jesus in your life

Thank you Jesus for keeping us pure through the supernatural truths presented in this book! Gosh, this was so great!


…

Okay, real talk. I’d give this book maybe 1.5 stars. It isn’t a complete waste of time, I’d say—when there’s good stuff, there’s good stuff. It’s important to remember that purity isn’t just a matter of ‘not having sex’ but keeping your mind and heart in the right place when it comes to a relationship with God and others.

However, it’s also notable that this book often gets is point across by asking girls to internalize shame regarding some of their own behavior and, indeed, shame other women for the same reasons. Nothing is written quite as coarsely as I did above—also, at some points I was just making fun of the writing. But it’s true that in expecting the readers to accept and believe the ‘truth’ written in each chapter, very little effort was put into creating nuance in the lessons.

By writing as a woman to women, the responsibility of men in sexual relationships was downplayed. If she didn’t castigate a boyfriend’s behavior, the narrator as good as condoned it.

By writing about teen pregnancy in a negative light, we were led to equate unwed sex with unwed pregnancy. That’s why I had the power to suggest that such a child was the living embodiment of sin. (Which is horrible, by the way.)

By comparing women to objects, even “precious” objects like china cups, women and their sexuality were reduced to a level of subhumanity. Women became things in the narrative of purity.

The lack of nuance leaves these doors open for me to criticize. These doors are left open for beliefs that, since unaddressed, can be interpreted as true from the text. And so this book leaves a lot of room for the people who read and learn from it to accept that demeaning, blaming, and dehumanizing women is okay. Especially if you want to live a Christian lifestyle.

I can say, after reading this through, that I am afraid of people who believe that this is how we should live as Christians. Women should not tear down women.

That is all.

[Terri Lynn · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was yet another dud, I mean, book that was recently given to me by a Christian woman who knows we are Atheists but hoped my 19 year old daughter would read them. After the daughter turned 50 Shades of Red and Purple and blasted enough angry steam rise off the top of her head to outblow a volcano, I backed away to throw these things away (lest some innocent person accidentally read this trash) then decided to have a peek at the Dark side, the sexual and dating advice 21st century religious fanatics follow that keeps them safely in the Dark Ages or Ancient Times.

Dannah Gresh has got it down to an art form. Dannah is definitely drinking the dark ages koolaid here. I believe they might have removed her clitoris at birth. She is completely convinced that females are nonsexual beings who do not get horny (heh, heh, heh, we could teach her a few things couldn't we?) but are taken advantage of by those devious men. She has a hymen fetish that really rises to the level of mental illness. Sexual purity is highly overrated.

Here are the facts. Girls have a clitoris which serves only one purpose- to give us intense orgasms. We don't pee through it and we don't pass babies through it. It is there ONLY for our sexual pleasure. Evolution has been very, very good to us. Patriarchal sexist men know this and it worries them. That is why many of them seek to cut it off girls. Other men try to use fear (God will get mad) to rein in female sexual pleasure. We can have multiple orgasms at any age. I am 53 and can have over 15 in a 24 hour period. A real man like my Atheist husband is delighted with this and willing to use tongue, lips, fingers, penis and vibrator to rock my world. Christian men are scared shitless as are those men in other patriarchal cults so they use an imaginary god and imaginary Jesus to get women in line to be controlled.

It is sad to see women writing garbage that turns her sisters into property to be bought by a man and deflowered and kept as his property. There is nothing here to say the groom should wear white or that safe sex prior to marriage is good. It is females as property carried into the new century.This is seriously unhealthy and abnormal.

[Rebekah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book seems fake and not only that, I cannot STAND the fact that she basically says women do not have a sexual desire, and that it's a front put on by feminist ideas in modern society. Like we can make no decisions for ourselves and men are over bearing and perverted.

SHAME on you.

[Marjorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been a tremendous help to me in my journey toward regaining purity. I'm a 21 year old college student and I believe that any teenage girl or young woman looking to live a pure lifestyle, or maybe questioning why, SHOULD read this book! It's beautifully written and has amazing moments of hurt, healing and triumph. Dannah writes with a very non-judgemental and understanding/compassionate tone. I love the book and will probably read it again. HIGHLY recommend. :)

[Amy Koons · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have given this book three stars because there were some good thoughts and ideas conveyed but there were also some red flags and theological teachings that I am not sure are accurate (for instance, there are four blood covenants in scripture and the only one remaining is your sexuality). I need to look into this more but I have never heard this from any other source and I think it's a huge stretch. Also, I think some teachings in this book - like your dad filling the guy-sized hole in your life - can be dangerous because it is never appropriate for the father-child relationship to encroach on the romantic. I understand Gresh's intent is to keep father-daughter ties strong, and that is a healthy thing, but I felt like what she said crossed the line and could be construed to encourage improper boundaries. Also, purity is such an important scriptural truth, but I seriously get tired of many factions of the church putting virginity and the "wedding night" on a pedal stool and overemphasizing things like the hymen. Sin is sin. But for many girls, they are made to feel like sexual sin is the worst sin and they (not young men) are the ones primarily responsible to avoid it at all costs and I'm not sure that's a fair burden to place on young girls, even though I do think purity of heart, mind, and body are important.

[Allie Urberg · Rating 1 out of 5]

Here’s the thing. I recognize that this book was published in 1997 and that a lot of the messaging has changed surrounding purity culture since then. However, this was one of the most recommended titles to me as a youth about purity and now reading it at 29, I’m so glad I didn’t read it then.

The underlying message is that if you struggle in any sexual relationship, you will NEVER recover, and it will follow you your entire life. There is no Gospel in this.

This book also only applies to young women dating while in high school or college - it is very hard to apply having your dad fulfill all of your relationship needs when you are 29…also that is not the call of fathers. They are to set an example of following Jesus, yes, but they are not to be a stand in boyfriend/husband until that “hole” is filled in your life.

Our job is to follow Jesus. I struggled with this book because I left discouraged, confused, and shamed for watching 90210 and not telling my date that my dad will “dust me for fingerprints” when I get home.

Yikes and a half.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really changed my understanding of why purity is so important.

Dannah Gresh is putting forth a great effort to teach young Christian women like myself the value of staying pure not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. She doesn't condemn those who have made mistakes in these areas, but rather gives encouragement to get things right with God and others and to start fresh with a new commitment to purity.

There were a few small points that I didn't totally agree with - but that's par for the course with a lot of "Christian living" books.

[Ashlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Every young teenage girl, and young adult woman, should definantly read this book. If you are committed to stay sexually abstinent, util after you are married, this book will help, and encourage you.

[Mary Lou]

Given to my high-school age daughter by her boyfriend's mother. I've tried hard to see this as a loving gesture, and not an indication that she thought my daughter (who never read it) was a skank. I wonder what books she gave to her son....

[Sarah Moon · Rating 1 out of 5]

among the worst books I've ever read.

[Anna Mayes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Trigger Warning. I don't write many reviews, but I need to do this one.

If I could rate this -5 stars I would. I was looking through some books earlier and came across this one. I had completely forgotten about this book until I picked it up. I was forced to read this in middle school until a youth pastor's wife told me to stop. I don't care if you believe in the concept of purity or not..."And the Bride Wore White" is a dangerous book for young girls and women. Gresh tells girls that their purity and relationship with men is where their value lies. That we are essentially in control of not only our own desires, but also the desires of men. This book is especially dangerous and triggering for victims of sexual assault. Gresh herself was a victim of assault and I recognize everyone handles trauma in their own way...but saying that victims are aroused and that men can't be blamed for assaulting women is just wrong. There is actually an activity in this book that asks you to rate certain things about yourself as Styrofoam, plastic, or a priceless tea cup. I could go on and on about this book, but it is extremely unhealthy and actually causes more harm than good.

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book for women of any age, especially teenagers, to try understand sexual purity. It's very easy to read and understand, and it also gives practical advice to stay on the path of purity which is very important. I think this book lacks in explaining the forgiveness and restoration of God for those who didn't wait to have sex for marriage. The book seems to assume the girls who are going to be reading this books are Virgins. Unfortunately in this day and age that won't be the case most of the time. It does hint in that area, but not really. It's still very challenging and realistic. She never tries to sugar coat the truth. So I give it 4 out of 5 starts.

[Laura Williamson ditto · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in High School (about 4 years ago) and thought it was very encouraging and insightful. It is written for Christian women who want to live their lives in a manner that is pleasing to God. This writer never states that sex is "bad" neither does she suggest that a woman should be "enslaved to a sexist man" as other reviewers of this book have indicated. I don't think Gresh wrote this book to convince girls to "keep their legs crossed," I believe she wrote it to encourage young Christian women to honor their God with their bodies and to be faithful to their future husband - If that's not your goal or desire then, of course, you will find this book offensive.

[Anna · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is evil garbage. I saved my virginity for marriage because of books like these. I was married for five years, and the entire time I had vaginismus, which is where your vagina spasms during sex and makes sex extremely painful. It's common in people who are raised with these sorts of beliefs. I NEVER had good sex while married. Eventually I got fed up and left, and I haven't had a single recurrence of the vaginismus since. Unmarried sex is awesome, and I love it. Do not read this book.

[Lee Howard · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm sending Dannah Gresh my medical bills for my year of unsuccessful pelvic floor physical therapy.

[Karoline · Rating 1 out of 5]

My mom, sisters, and I were cleaning out the basement and found this. No one had read it before, but it was a gift, so I decided to read it, before we chucked it. It was bad. Like horrific.

I read the entire thing out loud, like Dannah Gresh wanted, but definitely not with the intent that she wanted. Both of my parents were horrified at the way the topics were presented. As a medical professional and student, I was disgusted at the few medical/health discussions, even if they weren't necessarily important. First, the hymen does have a function. Second, HPV is not the end of the world. It's not the only cause of cervical cancer. Most of the 80%of sexually active adults who have it are totally and will be totally unaware, because it does not impact them. Stop the stigma.

I felt concerned for poor Jenny, towards the end of the book. She said something along the lines of how she and her husband could be having horrible sex, and she would never know. Well, Jenny, I have some bad news. If you think you could be having bad sex, it's probably bad.

Also, why do I, a woman, have to be a mental and physical virgin, but it's still fine for guys to be visual? I understand that this is about 20 years old, but it's still a very common book to be passed around. I'm disappointed that Christianity has never progressed past this. The Bible says that men need to pluck out their eyes if it causes them to sin. Stop allowing men to be perverts who expect a pure little virgin.

My sisters were dying. I don't think my family has laughed so much together in a while. If you need a laugh, with horrific theology mixed in, this is for you.

[Star Shining Forever · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nothing but shame and guilt over any perceived sexual “sin” based on a narrow reading of a Stone Age book.

There is so much that’s fearmongering and false in this book. It says condoms are too complicated and don’t work 50% of the time. It presents “boys will be boys” so it’s the girl’s burden to be “pure.” It thinks kissing and touching should be forbidden till the wedding day because of the temptation to have sex.

It literally asks girls: “In your dating relationships, are you a “trashable” Styrofoam cup, an everyday ceramic mug that is easily replaceable, or a valuable, priceless teacup?” 🤬

It tells women they’re expected to bleed on their wedding night because “God asks us to prize our virginity and hold it up as our only blood covenant to Him.” 🤨

Plus, it thinks Bathsheba was to blame for her rape by David 🤦🏽‍♀️ There’s even a story where a teen girl “lost” her virginity and felt bad till years later when her husband “forgave” her 🤮

It’s really pathetic, how evangelical Christianity thinks of and treats girls and women.

If you’re doing it smartly and consensually, have at it. Have all the sex you want and ignore the religious guilt because it’s not real, it’s all in your head.

Life is so much better than what you’ve been taught.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book as part of my research for my Master's thesis. I think other commenters have pointed out the most important problems with Gresh's work (both from an Evangelical Christian and non-Christian perspective) so I won't get into any of that. What I haven't seen anyone else mention is the profit motive behind this book and others like it. Nearly every chapter is punctuated with suggestions that the reader purchase other resources or attend retreats that would profit Gresh or her colleagues. I think it's worth noting that Gresh and other purity movement leaders have corporate/marketing backgrounds. I tried unsuccessfully to find her net worth; I expect it is quite high.

If you're a teenage girl looking to this book for advice, I would tell you two things:
1) Be suspicious of the author's motives and theology. She's selling a product, ultimately.
2) Double check any of the health information you find in the book. Much of it is inaccurate or misrepresented, esp. regarding the hymen and STD's

[Lindsay · Rating 1 out of 5]

A non-exhaustive list:
Pros - affirms that sexual sin is not the end of God’s relationship with a woman, and that abuse is not the fault of the victim.
Cons - four sentences after discussing a friend’s rape, the book is halted to discuss the HPV vaccine, and how “the only no-risk method of protection against HPV is abstinence[…]”.
Also, later the author states that “creating a life is the most incredible thing you will ever do.” A woman’s success or life impact is not defined by pregnancy and giving birth.
Do with those what you will.

[Lylia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not like this book AT ALL. I have read a few christian purity books and this one is by far the worst one. It was very poorly written and sometimes it left me confused. I couldn't finish it and requested a refund from Amazon. I am sure it would be suitable for someone who is in their teens, but it wasn't for me.

[Peninah Odhiambo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Am glad we still have people who encourage sexual purity and actually help explain how to achieve it. Many times am preached to in church how horrible it is to commit sexual immorality but not how to deal with my sexuality since its part of me.

This book encourages, tell me how to be pure the biblical way.

May god use you Danna Gresh more and more

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is another book where, though good can be taken out of it, young Christians may leave it with blind optimism leading to personal self-shaming. The overall message assumes a wedding dress, the perfect husband (secured through the use of a checklist) as well as rash judgements about the character of males vs. females. Good if read mindfully.

[Dan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Can I give negative stars or black stars?

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dannah is a great author and speaker. I admire her for her openness of her own life to teach the positive effects of purity and respect for ones body, mind, and soul. This is for any mother struggling with a way to talk to her daughter and open up. Also, for any teenager on up finding herself and learning about boys, dating, the joy of marriage and the sacredness of sex.

[Ashley Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I came home one day, my mom gave me this book, raved about how great it was, and the first thing I did was hide it in some drawer. I didn't want anything to do with it.
This book then caused quite a few arguments as she would question me almost every day for months about it and I still refused to read the book.

Eventually, she told me I had to read this book or not read any others, and I was having trouble keeping all my books at my Dad's, so I gave in. I spent the first few chapters rolling my eyes at it.

After I got to the third or fourth chapter, I really liked this book! It's all about forgiveness and how even if we'd made mistakes at any age, God will still forgive us. And solely for the middle, I would recommend it to anyone who wants to check it out.

I don't, however, like the last part. I agree with some of it, and I don't have a problem with people who don't kiss until their wedding day, but that definitely isn't for me. Also, the author says something in the last chapter about there being clothing we shouldn't wear in front of just our husbands even? Umm.... What?

In conclusion, I would like to quote my Language and Voice workshop teacher and say, "Take what you think is good and that you can apply to your life."

[Rachel Johns · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wholeheartedly agree in saving sex for marriage, and putting God first in your life so I applaud Dannah for championing those causes. There is a lot of wisdom in this book. However, I disagree with the idea that there is one person out there that God made for you. God made us for himself. I also disliked comparing women presenting their value as disposable styrofoam cups, easily replaced ceramic mugs, or a valuable teacup. All women are that valuable tea cup! The poor choices you may make do not change your value. For another book about purity that I would give five stars, Sex and the Soul of a Woman by Paula Rinehart.