Missing Marshmallows: One young girl's journey out of her religious education in Montana

by K. Blackaby

This book is not for everyone. This book is for people who have pushed themselves to fit a mold others made for them. This is a book for people navigating toxic institutions. This book is especially for young people who, inside the halls of a tiny religious school, were taught to ignore their intuition and learned how to silence their bodies. This book follows my experience as a young girl moving through a small religious private school in Montana and how my body still feels the effects of that experience. This book is for young girls who are growing into women who trust their gut and for people who are learning to hear the sound of their own voice. Because everyone deserves to know the sound of their body. This book is not for everyone. You might hate this book. But you might see yourself in it, too.

165 pages, Paperback

Published January 24, 2023

Reviews

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a unique and vulnerable book. A lot of us can see ourselves in Kelsey’s story. The religious trauma and body dysmorphia are unfortunately very relatable to many women, and this author connects to many of us on such a deep level.
The use of Body as her own character was a creative and powerful tool for telling this story. She wasn’t just “a body” she was BODY and she had shit to say.
Blown away by this.

[Katelyn Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Literally no words for how much I love this book. It has become one of my all time favorites. It reads like poetry and hits me right in the gut with how accurate it is. It validated so many of my experiences as a teenager growing up in a religious house at a religious school. 11/10 recommendation. Love love love

[Madison Tinker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think there’s something in this book that anyone can relate to. Growing up is struggling with yourself in someway. Whether it’s from pressures you put on yourself or what others put on your. What’s important is that you’re able to find yourself, even if it takes you years to do that. I’m thankful that K. Blackaby shared her story for others to resonate with so they know they’re not alone.

[Daria Danley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was magical and vulnerable. Kelsey expressed what so many women have experienced, but through her own eyes and trauma. She spoke with a lyrical voice that didn't focus too much on the negative external, but rather the internal struggle she faced.

I think my favorite piece of this was the personification of her body. Body was a separate person, and that was a very unique way to go about healing and coping with body dysmorphia. It was unique and beautiful.

Although religion has a presence here, I don't think it's the main focus. Thus, multiple women can relate to her story with or without the religious element.

Kelsey is incredibly talented and I can't wait to see what else she creates!

[Mackenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could feel myself in the pages of this book. In the author's experiences that were so close to my own as a young woman. There were times that I had to stop reading, set down the book, and acknowledge that my own experiences are valid when I have never perceived them to be before. While the experiences were not parallel, as there is no way they could be, the power of religion on the author's life and conviction of self is something that I am all too aware of. Thank you for sharing this part of you, Kelsey. I think it will allow a lot of women and men that are dealing with their own forms of religious trauma see that they are not alone.

[Bret · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't really have words for this.
I was good friends with the author throughout a large chunk of the time period she writes about. And though I knew of her struggles with school and with her peers, I understand her far better after reading this book.
This is beautiful written. It reads like poetry and speaks true to the confusion of a growing female body, mind, voice, and consciousness when growing up in a conservative religious community.
I put off reading this for far too long and it is one of the best reads of 2024 for me.

[Jordin Konev · Rating 5 out of 5]

First chapter was hard for me to get through, but WORTH it. Beautiful story about a woman/teen and the relationship with her body.

[Charliegmcf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. This book perfectly portrays the thoughts that every young girl can never describe.