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Happiness Is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life
How can we stay engaged with life day after day? How can we continue to love–to keep our minds in a happy mood–when life is complex, difficult, and, often, disappointing? Bestselling author and beloved teacher Sylvia Boorstein asked herself these questions when she started to write this inspiring new book. The result is her best work to date, offering warm, wise, and helpful ways we can experience happiness even when the odds are against us.
As Boorstein has discovered in more than three decades of practice as a professional psychotherapist, the secret to happiness lies in actively cultivating our capacity to connect with with ourselves; with friends, family, colleagues; with those we may not know well; and even with those we may not like. She draws from the heart of Buddhist teachings to show how Wise Effort, Wise Mindfulness, and Wise Concentration can lead us away from anger, anxiety, and confusion, and into calmness, clarity, and the joy of living in the present. These qualities strengthen our ability to meet encounters of every kind with balance and intelligence, providing us with a grounded sense of true contentment.
Happiness Is an Inside Job resonates with the knowledge of a psychotherapist, the compassion of a spiritual teacher, and the wisdom of a grandmother. Boorstein’s vivid stories capture our minds and our hearts, and the simple exercises she suggests can be done while you read.
This beautiful book is comforting and reminds us that life is a shared journey, that our hearts truly do want to console and love our fellow sojourners, and that living happily is indeed the best way to live.
As Boorstein has discovered in more than three decades of practice as a professional psychotherapist, the secret to happiness lies in actively cultivating our capacity to connect with with ourselves; with friends, family, colleagues; with those we may not know well; and even with those we may not like. She draws from the heart of Buddhist teachings to show how Wise Effort, Wise Mindfulness, and Wise Concentration can lead us away from anger, anxiety, and confusion, and into calmness, clarity, and the joy of living in the present. These qualities strengthen our ability to meet encounters of every kind with balance and intelligence, providing us with a grounded sense of true contentment.
Happiness Is an Inside Job resonates with the knowledge of a psychotherapist, the compassion of a spiritual teacher, and the wisdom of a grandmother. Boorstein’s vivid stories capture our minds and our hearts, and the simple exercises she suggests can be done while you read.
This beautiful book is comforting and reminds us that life is a shared journey, that our hearts truly do want to console and love our fellow sojourners, and that living happily is indeed the best way to live.
176 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
110 people are currently reading
1439 people want to read
About the author
Sylvia Boorstein
49 books164 followersSylvia Boorstein (born 1936) is an American writer and Buddhist spiritualist.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 112 reviews
November 8, 2009
I was put off every now and then by Boorstein's life stories, which reveal her to lead a pretty pampered life - buying antique furniture in Paris, ski trips to the Pyrenees, teaching at retreats on Hawaiian islands, lap tops, hands-free car phones, etc. - and none of her insights into compassion seem to have taken her very far beyond that life, e.g., into a refugee camp or soup kitchen. But I learned some good lessons on Buddhist psychology from her clear analysis and good writing.
October 22, 2024
Library loan.
This was a fine read, perfect for those just starting out with a mindfulness practice. It's told in a folksy manner, with a great many personal anecdotes thrown in for good measure. There was nothing eye-opening or epiphanous here, but it certainly made me want to pick up another book by this author.
This was a fine read, perfect for those just starting out with a mindfulness practice. It's told in a folksy manner, with a great many personal anecdotes thrown in for good measure. There was nothing eye-opening or epiphanous here, but it certainly made me want to pick up another book by this author.
January 30, 2016
A distillation of the key components of buddhist thought and practice channeled through a lifetime of experiences of Sylvia Boorstein,co-founding teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Centre in California.
Split into sections on equanimity, wise effort (and speech), mindfulness, and concentration it uses anecdotes and examples in every day life to illustrate how to put this philosophy of compassion into practice. It often sounds like common sense and indeed it is, however the mind often loses track and imagines, worries, obsesses and does everything but choose the path of common sense and we often need to be reminded of the most simple observations to declutter it.
She reminds us that much that happens in our lives is external to us and beyond out control, but that our response to it is within our ability to manage and there is much we can do to help ourselves by learning how to respond in a way that will calm and nurture us, that we can choose to respond in a way that veers more toward happiness.
Split into sections on equanimity, wise effort (and speech), mindfulness, and concentration it uses anecdotes and examples in every day life to illustrate how to put this philosophy of compassion into practice. It often sounds like common sense and indeed it is, however the mind often loses track and imagines, worries, obsesses and does everything but choose the path of common sense and we often need to be reminded of the most simple observations to declutter it.
She reminds us that much that happens in our lives is external to us and beyond out control, but that our response to it is within our ability to manage and there is much we can do to help ourselves by learning how to respond in a way that will calm and nurture us, that we can choose to respond in a way that veers more toward happiness.
'Speech that compliments is, by definition, free from derision, which clouds the mind with enemies and makes it tense. Kind speech makes the mind feel safe and also glad.'
October 22, 2017
Sylvia Boorstein knows happiness and she knows how we can all, big and small, crazy or not so, can get there. It's simple practices, really, but practices that are all deeply grounded in habits developed over hundreds of years. What are they? Thinking kindly about others. Wise speech. Mindfulness.
Very, very helpful.
Very, very helpful.
March 27, 2011
so far i like her even better then pema chodran! definitely a book i needed RIGHT NOW!
liked her so well, I've ordered one of her other books. this book seemed just the right amount of deep understanding, insightful teaching, in-the-trenches feel with enough fluff to make it readable and relatable. I got the feeling she is very much living in this world with us, just trying to get by. I'm speaking feeling and meditatively if not monitarily. other readers did not relate due to stories that revealed how well to do the author is. understandable. money however does not dictate how well one meditates or lives mindfully. read deeper then the shopping or travel and there's some good advice. will definitely revisit the book and my favorite passages.
liked her so well, I've ordered one of her other books. this book seemed just the right amount of deep understanding, insightful teaching, in-the-trenches feel with enough fluff to make it readable and relatable. I got the feeling she is very much living in this world with us, just trying to get by. I'm speaking feeling and meditatively if not monitarily. other readers did not relate due to stories that revealed how well to do the author is. understandable. money however does not dictate how well one meditates or lives mindfully. read deeper then the shopping or travel and there's some good advice. will definitely revisit the book and my favorite passages.
September 29, 2021
I actually read this book years ago, but really needed to read its teachings again. So extremely helpful for helping to remember the way the mind can get started and how to recognize that without letting it consume you. Very grateful to Sylvia Boorstein for writing this book!
September 16, 2019
I found this a little repetitive but that may be because I’ve read a run of Buddhist themes lately. If I sum up my keys learnings from this, they are mostly that I need to stop and breathe before I react, (oh boy, do I what!!!). And if I can remember to return to a place of empathy and connection with my fellow man, even though life will eternally run through its endless phases of sunshine and shit storms, by allowing my feelings to come, being compassionate to myself and others around said feelings, is ultimately what eases my suffering. Surrender, serenity, and kindness. I’m going to try very hard to remember these simple tools, when they seem to be the hardest ones to locate!!
August 14, 2011
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this audiobook. There were a lot of good ideas that stopped me in my tracts, for instance the idea of us having "scripts" which we try to rewrite after a situation is over and nothing can be done to change how it happened, some people will still try and relive it over and over in their mind about what they could have said, why did that person say that, should haves, etc. I do that and it's a horrible waste of time. She also talked about the five hindrances which she described as fatigue, worry, doubt, lust (or desire), and anger as the ways which we are prone to first respond to situations. That was a light on in my head for sure. I identified with and wanted to know more about this topic for sure.
This book doesn't call upon the reader to have a large understanding of Buddhism. She explains everything to you and it rings true (to me at least) and seems like a good stepping stone to encourage the reader to use more mindfulness, meditation, and self awareness to face their days and (hopefully) be happier for it.
This book doesn't call upon the reader to have a large understanding of Buddhism. She explains everything to you and it rings true (to me at least) and seems like a good stepping stone to encourage the reader to use more mindfulness, meditation, and self awareness to face their days and (hopefully) be happier for it.
June 1, 2020
I adore Sylvia Boorstein and am a very beginning meditator so this is definitely up my alley. If you’re at all interested in meditation or learning techniques to focus and stay calm during chaos, but it’s all new to you, I would suggest to start by listening to an interview with Sylvia Boorstein on the Ten Percent Happier podcast, or check out Dan Harris’s book Ten Percent Happier which is a great intro to meditation and a moving memoir. (If you want more immediate results Harris offers lots of great resources on his app and podcast, too.)
Anyway- I found Boorstein’s interview so warm, engaging, and convincing that I was eager for more. But I suspect one of the reasons I enjoyed the book so much is because I could imagine it in her delightful voice. It’s a quick read, but is full of good advice on how to approach the world with kindness. It’s an important message from a really lovely person.
Anyway- I found Boorstein’s interview so warm, engaging, and convincing that I was eager for more. But I suspect one of the reasons I enjoyed the book so much is because I could imagine it in her delightful voice. It’s a quick read, but is full of good advice on how to approach the world with kindness. It’s an important message from a really lovely person.
May 8, 2013
Sylvia Boorstein helps you understand the Buddhist paths of wise effort, wise mindfulness, and wise concentration using practical experiences and examples. This book keeps you focused on learning how to pay attention to difficulties that startle you and get you back into a balanced state. I am very interested in reading Dr. Boorstein other books!
January 23, 2020
I’m a big fan of Sylvia Boorstein! I wasn’t as moved by this book as I remember being with her other book, It’s Easier Than you Think. Yet, it’s a short, quick read that acts as a lovely reminder to the Buddhist way of approaching life. With her encouragement to breathe deeply dispersed through the book, the reading process becomes relaxing and joyful.
December 15, 2012
I enjoyed reading the book, which gave me the feeling of having a wise master speak with me,But,I am still thinking about what she said, and maybe that is the point.
February 7, 2018
Simple, instructive and delightful. I love how Boorstein shares stories to demonstrate the application of her practice.
December 9, 2021
When I listened to this audiobook, I was feeling pretty desperate for some guidance on how to be happy, just within myself. Maybe I was too desperate, or expecting too much. Maybe what I really needed was magic, or a strong drink, or a vacation, because it just didn’t land with me. A few reasons. One, the narrator’s voice reminded me of Kathy Bates’ character in Titanic, or the waning seasons of The Office. That “Unsinkable Molly Brown” energy kind of killed the vibe for me.
But the other thing I just couldn’t get past was the overwhelming whiteness of this book. And when I say whiteness, what I mean is a real blindness to factors in one’s own life that give them a leg up. An example: she tells a story about going to Kripalu with her daughter, and how being in such a loving, joyous, gratitude-forward environment made them feel love, joy, and gratitude; so much so that they almost hugged their cab driver at the airport. Which is lovely. “But Sylvia,” I wanted to say, “you’re a meditation instructor, and a white boomer woman. You are Kripalu’s target demographic. Of *course* you feel welcome there.” When I go there, I feel welcome, too.
Meanwhile, I have friends of color who have gone to Kripalu and felt excluded, ignored, and sometimes even offended by interactions there. How can you access that good feeling in a place where you don’t feel safe, let alone seen?
Somehow, all the droll tales of life in rural France and the Bay Area didn’t connect me to the practices of gratitude and self-reflection, the book’s ultimate destination. Maybe this is the wrong book for me to read by Boorstein, because I have listened to her speak before and I really like her pedagogical style as a meditation teacher and have been moved by her openhearted and reflective honesty about her difficult childhood.
I came away from this one feeling empty. No one achieves happiness in a vacuum. You achieve it within the context of your own life and circumstances. We are shaped by our world, just as our world shapes us. A happiness achieved outside that understanding is superficial and, for me at least, probably impossible.
But the other thing I just couldn’t get past was the overwhelming whiteness of this book. And when I say whiteness, what I mean is a real blindness to factors in one’s own life that give them a leg up. An example: she tells a story about going to Kripalu with her daughter, and how being in such a loving, joyous, gratitude-forward environment made them feel love, joy, and gratitude; so much so that they almost hugged their cab driver at the airport. Which is lovely. “But Sylvia,” I wanted to say, “you’re a meditation instructor, and a white boomer woman. You are Kripalu’s target demographic. Of *course* you feel welcome there.” When I go there, I feel welcome, too.
Meanwhile, I have friends of color who have gone to Kripalu and felt excluded, ignored, and sometimes even offended by interactions there. How can you access that good feeling in a place where you don’t feel safe, let alone seen?
Somehow, all the droll tales of life in rural France and the Bay Area didn’t connect me to the practices of gratitude and self-reflection, the book’s ultimate destination. Maybe this is the wrong book for me to read by Boorstein, because I have listened to her speak before and I really like her pedagogical style as a meditation teacher and have been moved by her openhearted and reflective honesty about her difficult childhood.
I came away from this one feeling empty. No one achieves happiness in a vacuum. You achieve it within the context of your own life and circumstances. We are shaped by our world, just as our world shapes us. A happiness achieved outside that understanding is superficial and, for me at least, probably impossible.
July 11, 2025
I was recommended books from this author by my previous therapist.
I wasn't up for reading them at the time they were recommended, but I ended up adding this and a couple other books by the author to my to-be-read list, in order to return to them later.
My therapist has since retired, and I found myself weeding through my to-be-read books, and decided I was ready to take a swing at these books, even though I wasn't sure if they fit with my interests.
I found that I simply didn't connect with this book very much, and it was a struggle to muddle my way through.
One aspect I did resonate with was the emphasis on being kind, both to others and to one's self. That was something that rang throughout the book, and I was touched by the resounding message of acceptance and love. That is something that I've found resonance with in my continued therapy work, and I appreciated seeing it reflected here.
However, the rest of the book just did not capture my attention or imagination. It focuses on sharing a number of Buddhist practices, and showing how they can be applied to life in order to help with turbulent times. In general I can appreciate the message, but I've never been one to find a lot of connection with breathwork or meditation.
I think this simply wasn't the book for me, but I felt as though I honored the spirit of my past therapy work by seeking out this information and giving it a chance, and I am pleased to move it from my tbr to my read shelf.
I wasn't up for reading them at the time they were recommended, but I ended up adding this and a couple other books by the author to my to-be-read list, in order to return to them later.
My therapist has since retired, and I found myself weeding through my to-be-read books, and decided I was ready to take a swing at these books, even though I wasn't sure if they fit with my interests.
I found that I simply didn't connect with this book very much, and it was a struggle to muddle my way through.
One aspect I did resonate with was the emphasis on being kind, both to others and to one's self. That was something that rang throughout the book, and I was touched by the resounding message of acceptance and love. That is something that I've found resonance with in my continued therapy work, and I appreciated seeing it reflected here.
However, the rest of the book just did not capture my attention or imagination. It focuses on sharing a number of Buddhist practices, and showing how they can be applied to life in order to help with turbulent times. In general I can appreciate the message, but I've never been one to find a lot of connection with breathwork or meditation.
I think this simply wasn't the book for me, but I felt as though I honored the spirit of my past therapy work by seeking out this information and giving it a chance, and I am pleased to move it from my tbr to my read shelf.
March 17, 2024
"Happiness Is an Inside Job: A Path to Joyful Living" by Sylvia Boorstein is a heartwarming and practical exploration of how happiness can be cultivated from within. Boorstein, drawing on her extensive experience as a Buddhist teacher and therapist, skillfully debunks the notion that happiness is solely reliant on external circumstances, instead highlighting it as a skill we can develop through mindfulness and effort.
One of the book's standout features is Boorstein's friendly and relatable tone, which makes complex Buddhist principles accessible to all readers. Through personal anecdotes and simple exercises, she guides us on a journey towards greater self-awareness and contentment. Moreover, her emphasis on self-compassion reminds us to treat ourselves with kindness as we navigate life's challenges.
With its practical guidance and emphasis on self-compassion, "Happiness Is an Inside Job" is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to lead a more joyful and fulfilling life. Whether you're well-versed in meditation or just starting to explore the path to happiness, this book offers a wealth of wisdom and tools to help you along the way.
One of the book's standout features is Boorstein's friendly and relatable tone, which makes complex Buddhist principles accessible to all readers. Through personal anecdotes and simple exercises, she guides us on a journey towards greater self-awareness and contentment. Moreover, her emphasis on self-compassion reminds us to treat ourselves with kindness as we navigate life's challenges.
With its practical guidance and emphasis on self-compassion, "Happiness Is an Inside Job" is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to lead a more joyful and fulfilling life. Whether you're well-versed in meditation or just starting to explore the path to happiness, this book offers a wealth of wisdom and tools to help you along the way.
February 2, 2025
Mixed bag here.
This book is certainly worth reading.
We get a wealth of information about being in the moment and pausing to reflect and understand certain life circumstances.
It’s important to appreciate times build us into the people we are stop think that situations happen “to” us and realize…this is just a piece of the story.
But good grief, this book comes from a place of privilege.
From the slights on journalists, the braggadocios “in my travels to…” stories, saying “no one determines when they die” hmmmm. Or attempting to get out of a ticket because she ventured into the car pool lane and didn’t notice because she was on the phone. Some of the author’s words are outrageous.
Overall, the information and perspective is great to have and seeing the bigger picture is important, but it feels as though her life is one of riches rather than experiences of others’ worlds as world.
This book is certainly worth reading.
We get a wealth of information about being in the moment and pausing to reflect and understand certain life circumstances.
It’s important to appreciate times build us into the people we are stop think that situations happen “to” us and realize…this is just a piece of the story.
But good grief, this book comes from a place of privilege.
From the slights on journalists, the braggadocios “in my travels to…” stories, saying “no one determines when they die” hmmmm. Or attempting to get out of a ticket because she ventured into the car pool lane and didn’t notice because she was on the phone. Some of the author’s words are outrageous.
Overall, the information and perspective is great to have and seeing the bigger picture is important, but it feels as though her life is one of riches rather than experiences of others’ worlds as world.
October 25, 2016
This book is an very broad overview of Buddhist teachings on the Brahama Viharas-- the teachings on loving kindness, compassion, empathic joy and equanimity. There is frequently a use of several aspects of the Noble Eightfold Path to help clarify or enhance-- including wise understating and wise speech. Sylvia is a very good meditation teacher and lovely human being, but I feel like this very basic book sets the sights too low. It is good to be happier, let go of stress and realize happiness can come from within, but Buddhist meditation can bring do much more. I know this is a book for beginners, but it should at least mention that happiness can arise early on the path and so much more is possible.
March 25, 2021
I really wish I had read this 10+ years ago when I saw it. At the time, I didn't know who Sylvia was, and the title put me off, thinking it was not about "serious" Buddhist teachings. I have, in recent years, been listening to interviews and talks with Sylvia and found I identify with her SO much. I am a "recovering fretter" as well and had I not judged this book by it's cover, I might well have made it to a better place sooner. That said, this is an easy read, practical, and even humorous book that I reccommend to anyone who is interested in Buddhist psychology. It's a largely secular approach that is suitable for anyone practicing any (or no) religion. An excellent primer for someone new to these concepts as well as long time practioners.
January 26, 2025
I found this book to be elitist and eeking with privilege. The author references her living half in Paris and half in CA several times. Being on a ten hour flight in coach was her idea of suffering. I cringed at her examples of her own problems and I know there is no guard post for suffering, but this was a little too out of touch for me. Some of her deeper stories were about friends and folks she met on retreat, but to me there wasn't any true humility. This lines up with a lot of white western Dharma teachers though (gloss over the true pain and deep harm in the world & do little to acknowledge the the origins of that which they teach) so...I'm not entirely surprised here.
November 14, 2017
I'm on my way to the library to get all the other Sylvia Boorstein books, which I think could be the beginning and end of this review... But I'll give you a little more. Like, this quote:
"There are only two possibilities in any moment. You can kiss or you can fight. Kissing is better."
Hold on. I'm going to send that to my lover right now...
...and now I'm going to the library to get the rest of Sylvia Boorstein's books.
"There are only two possibilities in any moment. You can kiss or you can fight. Kissing is better."
Hold on. I'm going to send that to my lover right now...
...and now I'm going to the library to get the rest of Sylvia Boorstein's books.
April 29, 2019
I know that this author and this book are supposed to be a huge thing in the Western Buddhist tradition but I just couldn't get into it. I felt that there was a glib attitude toward suffering and a very superficial explanation of the "practicing". The author seemed to be offering platitudes aimed toward people who were already familiar with practice. Perhaps at some point I will try another of her books or, once I have a better grasps of the basics of Buddhism, try this one again.
October 15, 2023
Another beautifully engaging book by author Sylvia Boorstein. She has a way of making Buddhist concepts so accessible and down-to-earth. Here she focuses on three steps on the Buddha's Eightfold Path, what she calls the "meditative steps" - Wise Effort, Wise Mindfulness, and Wise Concentration. Through personal stories and good deal of humor, she provides useful information for how to incorporate these teachings into everyday life.
March 10, 2024
A good, soothing book which draws from the wisdom of Buddhism and the author’s personal and professional experiences on how to maintain equilibrium and happiness, even with everything life throws our way. Five stars! “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated that that. It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.” -Sylvia Boorstein
November 6, 2024
Good insights. I personally find her life unrelatable, but that's OK, we both still have minds that we can examine and learn to steady. Her gentle approach to Buddhist thought makes sense and is understandable. For me, a scientifically minded person, this kind of Buddhism is the "religious" practice that makes the most sense. Try it yourself, test the ideas and see what works. No judgement, no shame if you don't find it useful.
February 23, 2019
Nice book covering a few aspects of Buddhism and mindfulness practice. I like how the author uses “regular” language to explain the concepts even when she’s using the proper terminology. It makes the process more accessible. I will read more by her I’m sure.
March 6, 2019
Boorstein walks the reader through three of the eight steps on the Eightfold Path of Buddhism - right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. I appreciated this in-depth look at the mindfulness steps and found her thoughts helpful in my meditation practice.
December 6, 2019
The book contains very clear explanations of Buddhism and clear insights into Buddhist teachings. It also has very specific and practical instructions on how to practice metta and mindfulness in everyday life.
January 28, 2020
Sylvia Boorstein is a wonderful Buddhist teacher. Down to earth and with the same problems in life that we all have. I go to this book over and over again when I'm having a difficult patch in my life.
July 9, 2021
Audiobook. Guess the info was good but I couldn’t get past the multiple instances where the author reminded us of her privileged life by mentioned her world travels such as going to Paris to buy a specific antique bed, meditating in Hawaii…. And the list goes on. Seems like not such a simple life
Displaying 1 - 30 of 112 reviews