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A Different Way to Learn: Neurodiversity and Self-Directed Education
'If you are a parent worrying whether self-directed education will work for your child, because you have been told that they have special needs which can only be met in the school system - think again'
Neurodivergent children experience and interact with the world differently to many of their peers. Standard educational systems often fail to adapt to their unique strengths and ways of learning. School, and even the act of learning, can become a source of great anxiety and trauma. Self-directed education offers an alternative to traditional schools that can help neurodivergent children develop at their own pace and thrive.
Blending theory, practical advice and lived experience, clinical psychologist Naomi Fisher introduces the world of self-directed learning and tailoring the learning environment to your child.
This comprehensive overview of self-directed learning is packed with ideas on how to implement it at home and includes interviews from parents of neurodivergent children on how you can make learning differently work for you and your child
Neurodivergent children experience and interact with the world differently to many of their peers. Standard educational systems often fail to adapt to their unique strengths and ways of learning. School, and even the act of learning, can become a source of great anxiety and trauma. Self-directed education offers an alternative to traditional schools that can help neurodivergent children develop at their own pace and thrive.
Blending theory, practical advice and lived experience, clinical psychologist Naomi Fisher introduces the world of self-directed learning and tailoring the learning environment to your child.
This comprehensive overview of self-directed learning is packed with ideas on how to implement it at home and includes interviews from parents of neurodivergent children on how you can make learning differently work for you and your child
236 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 21, 2023
136 people are currently reading
468 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
October 22, 2023
This book was written for me and families like mine: square pegs. For some it may seem radical. For us, it is natural and relevant. This is our path. It's time to rip up my old teaching and parenting books and focus on our reality as outliers and extraordinaries.
July 25, 2024
Brilliant. Made me think about how I cope with the world and communicate with others, not just for education. XXxxx
August 22, 2025
I just fundamentally disagree with so much of this. In principle, yes it would be lovely if children could learn and play at their own rate and in their own way but unfortunately this is just not how the world works.
I agree that there are nuances to a diagnosis but without the diagnosis, there are no legal protections for children with special educational needs and disabilities. Many of the issues that the author described parents as having in regards to their children's treatment in school could be alleviated by the child having legal protections (e.g. an EHCP). Is a diagnosis going to fix things? No, but the child will still have that need/disability with or without the label. However, WITH the label, they get the protections and provision they need to thrive. It was interesting that multiple parents had diagnosed their own child with SEND and then were seemingly baffled that these needs were not being met. This again just highlights the need for formal diagnosis and for families not to self-diagnose.
The book is wrong. Yes, maths and English are so important that we can't give children a choice if they learn them or not. The insinuation that children will be fine without this knowledge is a little scary. No, they likely won't remember what a modal verb is ten years after they finish their exams but being a literate adult with the ability to read a variety of texts and infer and extrapolate information is so important. We already have so many adults that are functionally illiterate in our society. We need to ensure that there is a baseline level of education that every child meets in order to function properly in the real world.
The idea that in pre-industrial societies children were able to simply learn 'meaningful skills' is disingenuous. Poor children in these societies would be taught skills but not as some radical form of learning to enrich their lives. They would learn a trade or skill and then have to work in that trade or skill from a very young age until they died, mostly in roles like farm labourers. Rich children would be educated in a similarly 'rigid' way as children are today. This idea that school was 'invented' as a way to control "people's minds and bodies". Is ahistorical. Also, the idea that school's only came about around 120 years ago is quite funny.
I think one of my biggest issues is this idea that children are responsible enough to decide not only what they should be learning but whether or not they should be tested on it. Just because a handful of children eventually decided they wanted to take their GCSEs after doing whatever they wanted for several years, does not mean this will be the experience of most children. Most children will never want to engage with core subjects if it is left up to them.
I don't think that any of this can be divorced from the issues of class and privilege. It is a very privileged outlook to say that children do not have to attend school because a parent at home can facilitate 'self directed education'. This book makes no mention of how this would be possible for working class families where both parents (if present in the household) NEED to work in order to survive. What then do they do with their child? It is lucky for all those parents interviewed for this book that they do not need two incomes to stay afloat and can simply take their children on spontaneous trips to a café or park on any given day.
The urgency in exam taking is typically because the vast majority of those taking exams are doing so in order to enter the workforce as soon as possible. Perhaps for a privileged few, it doesn't matter if they play video games for the majority of their teen years and take their GCSEs at 22. They have their parents' money and the security of a mortgaged home. But what of working class kids who live well below the poverty line? These kids can't wait around taking trips to the zoo instead of getting the grades they need to get a job that is vital for their family's survival. In an ideal world devoid of economic hardship, all children would get to play for as long as they wanted. But we don't live in that world or, at least, most of us do not.
Students, due to these pressing economic issues, study for a variety of subjects that will enable them to gain the qualifications necessary to join the workforce. English and maths are essential for nearly any job you will apply for. Additionally, students choose options so they can pursue interests and go into a job field they would (hopefully) enjoy. A child self-studying Japanese is impressive. However, if Japanese GCSE is all they have because it was the only thing they were 'interested' in, how is this meant to translate into a career? Great, you have a Japanese GCSE but you want to be a lawyer. Well, that isn't going to happen. Okay, maybe you can teach Japanese or teach Japanese people English but why would they hire you when your English ability is unproven beyond the ability to speak it at the most basic level? This is a hobby and hobbies should not be indulged in at the expense of education.
I think that is the core issue. As terrible as it is, we cannot only do the things we like or enjoy in life. It is just not how life works. Teaching kids that they can opt out of things that they don't immediately enjoy is troubling and will only create entitled adults with little to no resilience. The idea that if a child doesn't instantly take to something, especially something difficult is not helping them. It is hindering their development and not acclimatising them to the realities they will HAVE to face as adults. They will NOT be indulged this way by other adults once they themselves reach maturity.
I also think it was hilarious that screen time was discussed without any mention of social media and the pervasive harm it does to young people. Essentially saying "screens aren't bad if your child is learning from them" rings hollow when you don't acknowledge that the vast, vast majority of kids are not using screens to read books but rather are, from increasingly younger ages, perusing the internet without limits and are being exposed to extremely harmful images, topics, ideas, etc. The fact that the attention spans of children have been severely impacted by short form content and that young people have an 'inability' to be bored due to constant dopamine being fed to them via screens is not touched on at all. No, it is categorically not a moral good if you keep your child home from school and let them sit on their ipad all day long.
This book was littered with anecdotes from the author about her terrible school experiences. I think this has coloured her view of school and that she has let her own experiences determine how she views education as a whole. Did she experience some pretty poor teaching? Yes. Does that mean everyone does? No. Experiencing one poor piano class and then using that to determine that the whole education system is futile is quite naïve.
Overall, I just disagree with 90% of the content on an intrinsic level.
I agree that there are nuances to a diagnosis but without the diagnosis, there are no legal protections for children with special educational needs and disabilities. Many of the issues that the author described parents as having in regards to their children's treatment in school could be alleviated by the child having legal protections (e.g. an EHCP). Is a diagnosis going to fix things? No, but the child will still have that need/disability with or without the label. However, WITH the label, they get the protections and provision they need to thrive. It was interesting that multiple parents had diagnosed their own child with SEND and then were seemingly baffled that these needs were not being met. This again just highlights the need for formal diagnosis and for families not to self-diagnose.
The book is wrong. Yes, maths and English are so important that we can't give children a choice if they learn them or not. The insinuation that children will be fine without this knowledge is a little scary. No, they likely won't remember what a modal verb is ten years after they finish their exams but being a literate adult with the ability to read a variety of texts and infer and extrapolate information is so important. We already have so many adults that are functionally illiterate in our society. We need to ensure that there is a baseline level of education that every child meets in order to function properly in the real world.
The idea that in pre-industrial societies children were able to simply learn 'meaningful skills' is disingenuous. Poor children in these societies would be taught skills but not as some radical form of learning to enrich their lives. They would learn a trade or skill and then have to work in that trade or skill from a very young age until they died, mostly in roles like farm labourers. Rich children would be educated in a similarly 'rigid' way as children are today. This idea that school was 'invented' as a way to control "people's minds and bodies". Is ahistorical. Also, the idea that school's only came about around 120 years ago is quite funny.
I think one of my biggest issues is this idea that children are responsible enough to decide not only what they should be learning but whether or not they should be tested on it. Just because a handful of children eventually decided they wanted to take their GCSEs after doing whatever they wanted for several years, does not mean this will be the experience of most children. Most children will never want to engage with core subjects if it is left up to them.
I don't think that any of this can be divorced from the issues of class and privilege. It is a very privileged outlook to say that children do not have to attend school because a parent at home can facilitate 'self directed education'. This book makes no mention of how this would be possible for working class families where both parents (if present in the household) NEED to work in order to survive. What then do they do with their child? It is lucky for all those parents interviewed for this book that they do not need two incomes to stay afloat and can simply take their children on spontaneous trips to a café or park on any given day.
The urgency in exam taking is typically because the vast majority of those taking exams are doing so in order to enter the workforce as soon as possible. Perhaps for a privileged few, it doesn't matter if they play video games for the majority of their teen years and take their GCSEs at 22. They have their parents' money and the security of a mortgaged home. But what of working class kids who live well below the poverty line? These kids can't wait around taking trips to the zoo instead of getting the grades they need to get a job that is vital for their family's survival. In an ideal world devoid of economic hardship, all children would get to play for as long as they wanted. But we don't live in that world or, at least, most of us do not.
Students, due to these pressing economic issues, study for a variety of subjects that will enable them to gain the qualifications necessary to join the workforce. English and maths are essential for nearly any job you will apply for. Additionally, students choose options so they can pursue interests and go into a job field they would (hopefully) enjoy. A child self-studying Japanese is impressive. However, if Japanese GCSE is all they have because it was the only thing they were 'interested' in, how is this meant to translate into a career? Great, you have a Japanese GCSE but you want to be a lawyer. Well, that isn't going to happen. Okay, maybe you can teach Japanese or teach Japanese people English but why would they hire you when your English ability is unproven beyond the ability to speak it at the most basic level? This is a hobby and hobbies should not be indulged in at the expense of education.
I think that is the core issue. As terrible as it is, we cannot only do the things we like or enjoy in life. It is just not how life works. Teaching kids that they can opt out of things that they don't immediately enjoy is troubling and will only create entitled adults with little to no resilience. The idea that if a child doesn't instantly take to something, especially something difficult is not helping them. It is hindering their development and not acclimatising them to the realities they will HAVE to face as adults. They will NOT be indulged this way by other adults once they themselves reach maturity.
I also think it was hilarious that screen time was discussed without any mention of social media and the pervasive harm it does to young people. Essentially saying "screens aren't bad if your child is learning from them" rings hollow when you don't acknowledge that the vast, vast majority of kids are not using screens to read books but rather are, from increasingly younger ages, perusing the internet without limits and are being exposed to extremely harmful images, topics, ideas, etc. The fact that the attention spans of children have been severely impacted by short form content and that young people have an 'inability' to be bored due to constant dopamine being fed to them via screens is not touched on at all. No, it is categorically not a moral good if you keep your child home from school and let them sit on their ipad all day long.
This book was littered with anecdotes from the author about her terrible school experiences. I think this has coloured her view of school and that she has let her own experiences determine how she views education as a whole. Did she experience some pretty poor teaching? Yes. Does that mean everyone does? No. Experiencing one poor piano class and then using that to determine that the whole education system is futile is quite naïve.
Overall, I just disagree with 90% of the content on an intrinsic level.
January 17, 2024
It took me a while (because of other life stuff) but I’ve finished and I loved it. An enlightening, reassuring and empowering book anyone considering or starting home
education with a neurodivergent child, with plenty of research and real life stories to support. I’ve sooo many notes. It’ll be hard to ever not refer back to this book.
education with a neurodivergent child, with plenty of research and real life stories to support. I’ve sooo many notes. It’ll be hard to ever not refer back to this book.
August 11, 2023
If you have a child struggling to go to school you need to read this book.
July 26, 2025
It's good. I came to this book as a semi-structured home educator of neurodivergent children and with a mind full of the experiences of people I know. Some very intelligent people struggled through school, took drugs, dropped out or got kicked out and then decided as adults to learn something useful and get a cool job, and they did. Some people had experience with self-directed, alternative schools and either coasted without learning anything because they didn't have to, or found it very harmful to their wellbeing. I've seen my own child struggle with traditional schooling because of crippling separation anxiety and I worried for a time that leaving school would mean "letting the anxiety win" and harm my child in the long run. I've seen how wrong that worry was. This book had space for all of those experiences and then some.
I've always felt uncomfortable with the word "unschooling" because it means different things to different people and I'm delighted by the way Naomi Fisher draws out the necessary components while also showing how they can look different for different needs.
The only issue I take is her discussion of screen time. It's not a big issue, because her point of view needs to be heard in this world, but it is an annoyance. Naomi talks about screen time the way a dietitian talks about food restrictions: If you are super strict and limiting, your kid may develop an eating disorder. It's a valid argument, but just as one can raise children to have a healthy relationship with food without giving them all the sweets they could ever want whenever they want, one can also have healthy screen time limits.
There's a balance that can be had and it depends a lot on the individuals involved. Flexibility is important, as is the activity. I have a deal with one of my children (ADHD) that they can earn 15 minutes extra video game time by playing 3 songs on violin. While it might at first sound like a problematic reward situation to readers of this book, it actually serves two useful purposes: one being that the child has the power to add time to his gaming if he's really into something today, and the other is that it provides a short break where brain and body do something different, coordinated and slightly difficult and therefore helps his brain not get stuck as easily in an unbreakable dopamine loop.
Also, don't let your kids play online games with strangers, for Pete's sake! Are you daft?! Friends and relatives, yes, strangers, no. She really should have mentioned that.
Anyway, great book! It provides a lot to think about and a fair amount of encouragement along the way.
I've always felt uncomfortable with the word "unschooling" because it means different things to different people and I'm delighted by the way Naomi Fisher draws out the necessary components while also showing how they can look different for different needs.
The only issue I take is her discussion of screen time. It's not a big issue, because her point of view needs to be heard in this world, but it is an annoyance. Naomi talks about screen time the way a dietitian talks about food restrictions: If you are super strict and limiting, your kid may develop an eating disorder. It's a valid argument, but just as one can raise children to have a healthy relationship with food without giving them all the sweets they could ever want whenever they want, one can also have healthy screen time limits.
There's a balance that can be had and it depends a lot on the individuals involved. Flexibility is important, as is the activity. I have a deal with one of my children (ADHD) that they can earn 15 minutes extra video game time by playing 3 songs on violin. While it might at first sound like a problematic reward situation to readers of this book, it actually serves two useful purposes: one being that the child has the power to add time to his gaming if he's really into something today, and the other is that it provides a short break where brain and body do something different, coordinated and slightly difficult and therefore helps his brain not get stuck as easily in an unbreakable dopamine loop.
Also, don't let your kids play online games with strangers, for Pete's sake! Are you daft?! Friends and relatives, yes, strangers, no. She really should have mentioned that.
Anyway, great book! It provides a lot to think about and a fair amount of encouragement along the way.
February 12, 2025
i'd happily recommend this to every parent/client i work with! it's a very good book for its specific defined purpose and scope, even if the broader systemic factors around parenthood, capitalism and authority are not being addressed (which are key points within the debate around home-schooling or de/unschooling that i hope might be addressed in a different book.) but I understand the author is writing as a psychologist, is not necessarily endorsing or recommending unschooling/deschooling despite being favourable towards it, and she has written an excellent, accessible child psychology book that is challenging traditionalism and rigidity around synchronous development / developmental norms within the field.
January 6, 2025
To start with some context, this author is based out of the UK, so their school system is different, and I had to "translate" some of the school-related vocabulary.
This book is essentially an argument for non-mainstream schooling. It would probably be helpful for people who are considering homeschooling for the first time and don't know what that might look like. We have been homeschooling for 7 years, so I'm well aware of different homeschooling methods. It wasn't helpful with my primary problem, which is figuring out how to motivate (coach? instruct? direct?) my children to learn how to educate themselves.
This book is essentially an argument for non-mainstream schooling. It would probably be helpful for people who are considering homeschooling for the first time and don't know what that might look like. We have been homeschooling for 7 years, so I'm well aware of different homeschooling methods. It wasn't helpful with my primary problem, which is figuring out how to motivate (coach? instruct? direct?) my children to learn how to educate themselves.
October 2, 2025
Super boek. De schrijfster denkt en werkt vanuit het kind in plaats van denken vanuit school of op een andere manier vanuit 'wat hoort' of 'hoe het zou moeten', wat zóveel specialisten e.d. helaas wel doen. Ik kan het extra waarderen als iemand het zo ziet, dat is wat we nodig hebben als mensen.
Het is vooral gericht op kinderen met autisme, maar ook andere neurodivergenties. En mijn specialisatie hoogbegaafdheid valt daar deels onder. Het is een informatief én praktisch boek.
Ik heb steeds een stukje gelezen, dus het duurde even tot ik het uit had. Het is ook een boek om te laten sudderen zegmaar, ook al vind ik dat een stom woord.
Het is vooral gericht op kinderen met autisme, maar ook andere neurodivergenties. En mijn specialisatie hoogbegaafdheid valt daar deels onder. Het is een informatief én praktisch boek.
Ik heb steeds een stukje gelezen, dus het duurde even tot ik het uit had. Het is ook een boek om te laten sudderen zegmaar, ook al vind ik dat een stom woord.
January 14, 2024
I really appreciate the work of Naomi Fisher and even just her social media tidbits are so very helpful and encouraging so I couldn’t wait for this book. It’s the best book on homeschooling I’ve read by a long shot, and is honestly worthwhile for all parents to read regardless of how their children are schooled. It’s relatable, actionable without being prescriptive, and clears up many misconceptions and anxieties about self directed education.
January 18, 2024
food for thought
I have a five year old who can't manage school and school can't manage him. This book is so fitting for us and being able to find some affirmation feels like a lifeline has been thrown out to us. I will still worry about the future though as school is the norm for me having two older children go through the schooling system. Home ed, self directed learning is new for us.
I have a five year old who can't manage school and school can't manage him. This book is so fitting for us and being able to find some affirmation feels like a lifeline has been thrown out to us. I will still worry about the future though as school is the norm for me having two older children go through the schooling system. Home ed, self directed learning is new for us.
April 22, 2024
What a helpful guide to understanding the many nuanced ways in which we learn, how many of them don’t fit into our standard educational systems and how we can adapt to fully recognize and celebrate all neurotypes through self-directed learning. A must read for anyone in education, and especially for parents struggling to understand their child’s inability to integrate into mainstream schooling. Love that this book has an autistic voice!
April 12, 2024
The first if not only book that was presented in neurodivergent affirming and not as a deficit. It was a breath of fresh air to not think of our child being “broken” It was too heavy in anecdotal evidence, while I understand it’s harder to gain valuable data from home educated population there is some there. At least in USA, state dependent, there’s standardized testing, graduation rates, college entrance, as well as general tracking of who is homeschooled.
June 12, 2025
This was an affirming and encouraging read that helped ease the anxiety about pursuing an alternate education. It was logical, informed and opened my mind to the ways in which we can learn and move through life successfully.
November 28, 2023
The most relatable and validating book I've read!
December 29, 2023
I'm still a bit on the fence about this, but this book certainly cleared up a lot of doubts that I had.
January 25, 2024
Inspirational and reassuring for those on the home-schooling journey. Useful strategies for relationships as well as education
July 28, 2024
Definitely interesting and good points in this. Helpful to understand more why doing things differently is ok.
August 31, 2024
This book was so validating and encouraging!
February 7, 2025
Brilliant!!!! All teachers should read this book. on audio and in print. I was blessed with having an advocate who helped me fight for my child, who is now a junior in college.
May 27, 2025
This is the best book out there about neurodivergent homeschooling. I recommend it to everyone with a child struggling with school.
July 20, 2025
Really useful guide for anyone interested in this subject. Well written and easy to understand. I have just bought another of her books.
August 4, 2025
Great book. certainly one I will refer back to
September 2, 2025
really helpful perspective
March 8, 2025
I read this with my homeschool co-op mom book club. It was a great discussion. The chapters are layed out well and have a 5 point summary on key details in each chapter
April 9, 2024
This was an interesting one that really stretched me. There was actually quite a lot of helpful nuggets that weren’t schooling/unschooling specific. I particularly liked the author’s adaptation of Ross Greene’s approach, geared toward children who need to take things slower and/or may be more demand avoidant.
December 30, 2023
This is an excellent book for those homeschooling, or considering homeschooling, their neurodivergent kid. Extremely supportive of meeting your kids where they are and the many different ways learning takes place outside of school.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews