Going My Own Way

by Gary Crosby, Ross Firestone

Bing Crosby's eldest son discusses the problems of growing up in the family of a celebrity, his relationship with his father, his battle with drugs and alcoholism, and his own career

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Music, Memoir

304 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 1983

Reviews

[Jo-Ann Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a harder read than I expected. None of the male members of the Crosby family come off well. This is the picture of very broken people in a broken family. I read that many denounced this book as Gary's attempt to sensationalize and make a buck. However, there must be some grain of truth, as proved by the fact that only one of the four sons reached the age of 65 and two committed suicide. That is not the sign of either healthy individuals or family. This sounds like a true account of his perception of his childhood experience. He perceived a brutal childhood with no good experiences. It would have been easier to read were it a more balanced account if he could elaborate on some good experiences.



The story has a very solitary feel. There is very little interraction shown between the brothers or others for that matter. This could be considered a manual on how to screw up a kid.

[SundayAtDusk · Rating 4 out of 5]

When this book came out after Bing Crosby’s death, there was much discussion about it being true or not. Did Bing Crosby emotionally, verbally and physically abuse his four sons from his first marriage? Or was Gary Crosby just trying to make money to tide him over until he got his inheritance at the age of 65? Or was it partly true and partly exaggerated?

The book really wasn’t a hatchet job, though. There was much insight and introspection about why his parents raised their sons as they did. It’s not one of those memoirs where an adult child is trying to demonize a parent, and trying to make that parent responsible for all his or her addictions and unhappiness. Gary Crosby appeared to be taking full responsibility for his problems as an adult. Tracing the roots of them back to childhood was not necessarily an act of self-pity, although I've never met an alcoholic who wasn't self-pitying when drinking.

The one biggest problem of this book was Mr. Crosby’s continuous talk of his drinking, page after page after page. For the life of me, I don’t understand why ex-drinkers and ex-drug addicts go on and on and on about their drinking and drugging in the memoirs they write. Do they really think readers are that interested in all the details of their addictions? Or does it possibly make them high reliving those days?

One of the most interesting things about this memoir is how readers reacted to having a famous person’s image tarnished. Bing Crosby had a reputation of being the nicest and most easy-going soul, an almost saintly soul, such as his Father O’Malley character in two movies. Some readers totally denounced the book, some said his child rearing methods were typical of the time period, some sadly accepted it all must be true and gave up their beliefs of what he was like.

I remember absolutely loving Going My Way and The Bells Of Saint Mary’s, watching them on TV at Christmastime as a teenager. I would have refused to read this book as a teenager, but had no problem reading it now, since adults should no longer be idolizing anyone. After finishing it, I was left with the same belief I had when I started it, namely that no one knows exactly what went on in a family except those in the family.

P.S. Gary Crosby died of cancer when he was 62. Two of his brothers committed suicide as adults. The last surviving brother died of a heart attack at the age of 69.

[Tom Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this Autobio. Should be entitled DADDY DEAREST. Bing was horrible to his boys. Horrible. Gary Crosby tells a great story. and LOUIS ARMSTRONG IS IN IT!!

[Sandra Louden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book years ago when it first came out. Since I run a Book Discussion Group (we're in our 7th season), I am always on the lookout for books that will provide a solid, spirited discussion. I remembered liking Going My Own Way very much the first time I read it. In rereading this book, I found the story itself to be as compelling as the first go-'round. The physical writing, however, leaves something to be desired. It has a dual authorship: "Gary Crosby and Ross Firestone." If Gary paid Ross to edit & fine-tune the writing, he was cheated. The writing is haphazard; grammatically, it is often a mess. Again, though, I always read with an eye toward how spirited the discussion will be within my group & I will definitely add this book to our 2017-2018 list. It is a story of pain, followed by an ultimate redemption and acceptance, unlike (for example) its famous predecessor, Mommy Dearest. If you can overlook the mistakes in grammar, punctuation, not to mention the often-clunky sentence structure, you should appreciate the story itself.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remember the controversy when this book came out. I'm too young to be a big fan of Bing Crosby but my mom was. This book surprised me, because honestly I don't think Gary made the old man sound so bad. Sure the author resented his dad as a child but grew to understand him better as an adult. It was clear to me that even Gary's childhood resentments were seated in his own perceived inadequacies and not those of Bing's. Honestly, I didn't see Bing as abusive. It was clear that he always cared for his sons' welfare. His discipline was pretty typical for those times. I suspect that Gary's mother Dixie's alcoholism had a more negative impact on the Crosby boys' lives than Bing's criticism. I came away from reading this respecting Bing Crosby a lot more than I did previously.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book I read for the Dirty Dishers. Bing Crosby was an Asshole who physically and mentally abused his children. When I read the part where Gary is finally big enough to fight back, people cheered.

[Terry · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poor Gary Crosby. Son of one of the most prolific and successful male singers of the ages, just can’t get over his own failures to succeed because Mom drank too much and Dad had affairs. I think what I found the most interesting about this “tell all” was that the abusive parents came ended up being more sympathetic than the supposed victim. I’m sure things were rough in the Crosby household, but I have little sympathy for someone who was given multiple chances to succeed, including his own radio show, but who failed miserably because he couldn’t get over his childhood. Move on, kid.

[Stacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

For all of the grief this book caused when it came out, I didn't think it was nearly as scandalous as it was made out to be. Sure, Bing was rigid, mentally abusive, and used a belt on his kids. But he was no Joan Crawford.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dated, but interesting information regarding Bing Crosby and his 4 older sons. 2 of his sons later committed suicide.

[Donna McCaul Thibodeau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bing Crosby was my mother's generation. This book is by his eldest son Gary. It tells the story of growing up, his descent into alcoholism, reconciling his relationship with his father, and finally finding happiness. His mother was an alcoholic and his father expected perfection from his sons. Two of his brothers committed suicide. It was a very sad story. I hope he got to live out the rest of his days in peace and happiness.

[Mandy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve read of worse cases of abuse but this was bad. I can’t imagine being 4, 5 years old growing up with so many rules, restrictions and instant consequences. Kids have to constantly be reminded to brush their teeth, wash hands, go to the bathroom, are your shoes on the right feet? They can’t be expected to remember everything. The Crosby boys turned out as expected. Gary Crosby was right when he said that not everyone can be raised like that and turn out okay. Slow read but cathartic for Gary Crosby.

[Michelle Buuck · Rating 5 out of 5]

While Gary may be disgruntled and angry. I always enjoy some great Hollywood tea!

[Ilena Holder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always thought of Bing Crosby as a sort of boring, not very exciting pop singer of his time. Then I read this book, and wow, boy Howdy was he mean to his kids! Especially the tale of when he was at the golf course with pals and Gary was with them (maybe a caddy). Then Bing called him "Hey LARD A**" in front of everyone because he was a bit chubby. Geesh. I wasn't sad when Bing died on the golf course in Spain years later.

[Leannaeklof · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gary Crosby spends most of the book blaming his for his problems in life. Even as an adult, he struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction. He still blamed his dad The book was depressing, but in the end he finally made peace with his father.

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not well written. It seems like over 100+ pages were the same story.

[Vincenzo Ridente · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would call it the male version of Mommy Dearest

[Joanne G. · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of those tacky tell-all books where one side of the story is told and the parent is made out to be a heinous villain. This is usually done after the famous parent is dead and unable to speak for himself/herself--and too late for them to to cut off the flow of money and assistance to which the grown child has become accustomed. I have all the sympathy in the world for abused children, but I have none for adults who try to profit from trashing reputations of those who can't speak back.