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Unconditional Love #1
When Love Is Not Enough (Unconditional Love, #1)
A six-year downward spiral into a world of lies and deception leads to the end of one man’s life when self-discovery crosses the line between being the perfect son or following his heart.
Jimmy Miller never intended to lead a double life starting the day he fell in love with Darian, but his parents’ divorce, fighting in school, and constantly keeping secrets for his closeted best friend and protector, Matt, force his hand. Jimmy finds the demands too great to withstand and ends it all prematurely, leaving behind an angry best friend and a shattered lover.
Matt and Darian cling to one another in the aftermath of their loss, forging a new friendship immediately tested by the truths of their relationships with Jimmy that are hidden in the pages of Jimmy’s journals. Will Matt and Darian discover what truly happened to their friend? And will this tragedy birth something beautiful between them as they learn the balance between life, family, and friendship when love is simply not enough?
A Bittersweet Dreams title: It's an unfortunate truth: love doesn't always conquer all. Regardless of its strength, sometimes fate intervenes, tragedy strikes, or forces conspire against it. These stories of romance do not offer a traditional happy ending, but the strong and enduring love will still touch your heart and maybe move you to tears.
Jimmy Miller never intended to lead a double life starting the day he fell in love with Darian, but his parents’ divorce, fighting in school, and constantly keeping secrets for his closeted best friend and protector, Matt, force his hand. Jimmy finds the demands too great to withstand and ends it all prematurely, leaving behind an angry best friend and a shattered lover.
Matt and Darian cling to one another in the aftermath of their loss, forging a new friendship immediately tested by the truths of their relationships with Jimmy that are hidden in the pages of Jimmy’s journals. Will Matt and Darian discover what truly happened to their friend? And will this tragedy birth something beautiful between them as they learn the balance between life, family, and friendship when love is simply not enough?
A Bittersweet Dreams title: It's an unfortunate truth: love doesn't always conquer all. Regardless of its strength, sometimes fate intervenes, tragedy strikes, or forces conspire against it. These stories of romance do not offer a traditional happy ending, but the strong and enduring love will still touch your heart and maybe move you to tears.
320 pages, Paperback
First published August 29, 2011
18 people are currently reading
992 people want to read
About the author
Wade Kelly
17 books388 followersWade Kelly lives and writes in conservative, small-town America on the east coast where it’s not easy to live free and open in one's beliefs. Wade writes passionately about controversial issues and strives to make a difference by making people think. Wade does not have a background in writing or philosophy, but still draws from personal experience to ponder contentious subjects on paper. There is a lot of pain in the world and people need hope. When not writing, she is thinking about writing, and more than likely scribbling ideas on sticky notes in the car while playing "taxi driver" for her three children. She likes snakes, can’t spell, and has a tendency to make people cry.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 137 reviews
November 14, 2011
When I ran across this book and saw it was part of the Bittersweet Dreams titles, and that the main character had committed suicide, of course I knew this would not be the happily ever type of book. And, to be honest, I had to wonder how Mr. Kelly would be able to make this anything but a depressing autopsy, or a couldawouldashoulda melodramatic weeper. I have read a couple of the Bittersweet Titles before and loved them (including "The Night Porter" by Sue Brown), but how do you make suicide...palatable?
This is a very personal subject. I have known two people in the course of my life that have committed suicide and loved both, one like a brother and one like a lover. Both losses devastated me. It is so hard on those left behind, as we struggle to understand the why and the how do we go on and the anger and the grief and try to remember the love.
So, I picked up this title with some little trepidation, and started. And got hooked immediately in this beautifully imagined and executed tale. Mr. Kelly has crafted a touching tale of love and hope in the face of pain and loss and tragedy.
This book, ultimately, is about secrets, large and small, of the heart and soul. It is also about the lengths we will go to and the things we will do to ourselves and to each other to keep and protect these secrets. And, most importantly, it is about the consequences of the fear those secrets inspire in our souls and how it kills us by separating us from those we love.
Jimmy and Matt have been best friends for year. Growing up together as neighbors and childhood buddies, Jimmy, or Jamie as Matt calls him (think early Van Halen of all things), have shared life and school and secrets, the biggest of which is that Matt is gay. Jimmy keeps this secret for Matt, since Matt's family is religious and would not tolerate having a gay son.
When Jimmy's parents separate and divorce, the family moves and Jimmy splits time between his mother's new home and his father's small place. Jimmy and Matt are still best friends, but the distance physically allows other gaps to form. And it is at his father's new home that Jimmy meets Darien.
Darien is all emo twink, the complete opposite of steady solid jock Matt. And Jimmy is fascinated. Intrigued. And drawn in. Darien is also gay. As their friendship grows, Darien becomes Jimmy's best friend too. But Jimmy doesn't share this with Matt. Although Darien knows some about Matt. Another secret kept.
When Darien is hurt by intolerant boys at his school, Jimmy's feelings boil over as does his attraction. Jimmy, it seems, has been keeping at least one secret of his own. One he shares with Darien but not Matt. And he acts on it. One more secret.
This heartbreaking tale jumps back and forth between high school and the present day, when the boys are out of college and starting careers. The book starts with the preparation by Matt for Jimmy's funeral, because we know he has killed himself. We learn, little by little, that Jimmy has been living a double, almost triple life. As have Matt and Darien, although in vastly different ways.
We follow Matt as he meets Darien. And we watch Matt learn all of Jimmy and Darien's secrets as he finds Jimmy's journals.
And our hearts just keep breaking. Secret after secret kept. Lie after lie told. Opportunity after opportunity lost. Hope after hope dashed. Until we finally find out the biggest secret of all - why did Jimmy do it. And then we bleed. We bleed for this beautiful young man. These beautiful young men. I can't give away why this tragedy happens, but I can say, it explains why Jimmy made the puzzling choices he did time after time.
This is Jimmy's tale, but it is also Matt's and Darien's. Because as this tragedy has already happened, these two meet and a new opportunity is presented. New choices can be made. New truths told rather than lies and secrets kept. New love shared rather than kept hidden. New hope allowed to grow rather than old pains to shrivel and kill.
And isn't that how it should be?
Give this remarkable book a chance. Mr. Kelly's voice deserves to be heard.
Tom
This is a very personal subject. I have known two people in the course of my life that have committed suicide and loved both, one like a brother and one like a lover. Both losses devastated me. It is so hard on those left behind, as we struggle to understand the why and the how do we go on and the anger and the grief and try to remember the love.
So, I picked up this title with some little trepidation, and started. And got hooked immediately in this beautifully imagined and executed tale. Mr. Kelly has crafted a touching tale of love and hope in the face of pain and loss and tragedy.
This book, ultimately, is about secrets, large and small, of the heart and soul. It is also about the lengths we will go to and the things we will do to ourselves and to each other to keep and protect these secrets. And, most importantly, it is about the consequences of the fear those secrets inspire in our souls and how it kills us by separating us from those we love.
Jimmy and Matt have been best friends for year. Growing up together as neighbors and childhood buddies, Jimmy, or Jamie as Matt calls him (think early Van Halen of all things), have shared life and school and secrets, the biggest of which is that Matt is gay. Jimmy keeps this secret for Matt, since Matt's family is religious and would not tolerate having a gay son.
When Jimmy's parents separate and divorce, the family moves and Jimmy splits time between his mother's new home and his father's small place. Jimmy and Matt are still best friends, but the distance physically allows other gaps to form. And it is at his father's new home that Jimmy meets Darien.
Darien is all emo twink, the complete opposite of steady solid jock Matt. And Jimmy is fascinated. Intrigued. And drawn in. Darien is also gay. As their friendship grows, Darien becomes Jimmy's best friend too. But Jimmy doesn't share this with Matt. Although Darien knows some about Matt. Another secret kept.
When Darien is hurt by intolerant boys at his school, Jimmy's feelings boil over as does his attraction. Jimmy, it seems, has been keeping at least one secret of his own. One he shares with Darien but not Matt. And he acts on it. One more secret.
This heartbreaking tale jumps back and forth between high school and the present day, when the boys are out of college and starting careers. The book starts with the preparation by Matt for Jimmy's funeral, because we know he has killed himself. We learn, little by little, that Jimmy has been living a double, almost triple life. As have Matt and Darien, although in vastly different ways.
We follow Matt as he meets Darien. And we watch Matt learn all of Jimmy and Darien's secrets as he finds Jimmy's journals.
And our hearts just keep breaking. Secret after secret kept. Lie after lie told. Opportunity after opportunity lost. Hope after hope dashed. Until we finally find out the biggest secret of all - why did Jimmy do it. And then we bleed. We bleed for this beautiful young man. These beautiful young men. I can't give away why this tragedy happens, but I can say, it explains why Jimmy made the puzzling choices he did time after time.
This is Jimmy's tale, but it is also Matt's and Darien's. Because as this tragedy has already happened, these two meet and a new opportunity is presented. New choices can be made. New truths told rather than lies and secrets kept. New love shared rather than kept hidden. New hope allowed to grow rather than old pains to shrivel and kill.
And isn't that how it should be?
Give this remarkable book a chance. Mr. Kelly's voice deserves to be heard.
Tom
October 30, 2011
Beautiful, Beautiful story an emotional rollercoaster, Jamie I wanted to grab him, shake him and yell just LEAVE, why....why did he not move out sooner to go and live with his dad if only everyone could have such a father! The mental torture and continuous pain he went through trying to please his psychotic mother, she deserved to suffer lots I had nothing but contempt and hatred for her. Then the lies he told Matt his best friend they started off small then escalated so much....that it all became too much, with no way out. I felt his anguish and absolute despair and cried along with him, so very sad that he thought he was worthless and everyone would be better off without him. No one should have to suffer so much!!
Sweet, lovable Darian such a sensitive soul I loved him, he was so fragile I was scared he would not make it but with Matt's wonderful caring attitude he pulled through, they needed each other and deserved some happiness. Matt I struggled to like him at first with his careless and blasé attitude towards his safety, in the end though he redeemed himself when it really mattered.
Yes this is a Bittersweet Dreams title but don’t let this dissuade you from reading this remarkable story there is a happy ending or HFN.
Wonderful writing and a fantastic story that everyone should read, Wade you have written a deeply moving book that has touched me deeply. I am so happy that you have sequels planned I want to know more about Darian and Matt.
Sweet, lovable Darian such a sensitive soul I loved him, he was so fragile I was scared he would not make it but with Matt's wonderful caring attitude he pulled through, they needed each other and deserved some happiness. Matt I struggled to like him at first with his careless and blasé attitude towards his safety, in the end though he redeemed himself when it really mattered.
Yes this is a Bittersweet Dreams title but don’t let this dissuade you from reading this remarkable story there is a happy ending or HFN.
Wonderful writing and a fantastic story that everyone should read, Wade you have written a deeply moving book that has touched me deeply. I am so happy that you have sequels planned I want to know more about Darian and Matt.
January 1, 2014
I really don't think I can review this with any hope of sounding as eloquent as others, so I think I'll just say what I thought lol.
At first I was very nervous about reading, and in fact put it off slightly. I really don't like bittersweet, especially if a death is involved. But thanks to a good friend I took the plunge.
I would certainly like to read more on Matt and Darian. As a couple I think they are much better suited than either would of been with Jamie, sad to say.
This was a very thought provoking story. Extremely well written and insightful.
Well done, and for those who read this I apologise for the rambling lol.
On rethinking I decided to give this the 5 stars it deserves. Hopefully the follow up books might include the *Incubator* getting a smack from someone lol.
At first I was very nervous about reading, and in fact put it off slightly. I really don't like bittersweet, especially if a death is involved. But thanks to a good friend I took the plunge.
I would certainly like to read more on Matt and Darian. As a couple I think they are much better suited than either would of been with Jamie, sad to say.
This was a very thought provoking story. Extremely well written and insightful.
Well done, and for those who read this I apologise for the rambling lol.
On rethinking I decided to give this the 5 stars it deserves. Hopefully the follow up books might include the *Incubator* getting a smack from someone lol.
September 18, 2011
Okay now I'm done, and I honestly don't know what to think of this, let alone how to rate it. I'd like to be able to give 2.5 stars. This book was worth reading, but quite exhausting, and not only for its subject matter.
This was an exceptional book in many ways. Starting with the narrative - with three different narrators, diary entries, flashbacks, and the present - this might sound confusing but it actually wasn't. The three voices were different enough to keep them apart even without the dates at the head of the paragraphs, offering insights into the heads of all three main characters, Jamie, Matt and Darian, and thus making them come alive nicely. All three were flawed and tortured, and still each one likeable in his own way. Even Matt, who started out as some kind of grunting, self - centered caveman but redeemed himself nicely enough by the end.
Then there was the plot proper. Jamie died, and the two men who were closest to him in life seek solace with each other, finding more than they were looking for. This is a beautiful premise; it was comforting for me as reader to know this beforehand as the book opened with Jamie's funeral. The actual getting together of Matt and Darian was moving, if somewhat far-fetched, and those two had great chemistry together. I could only wish them the best of luck.
Buuuuuut... here's also where my problems started. Remember, one has just lost his lover, the other has been commitment-shy for all his life to a point where he never hooked up with anyone within fifty miles of his home town from fear of having to meet them again. I can totally relate to them seeking and finding solace with each other over the loss of Jamie. But love? Over the course of a few hours, no less? One-eighty. 'nuff said.
Then, all the issues those three had to face. All in all, our three heroes went through almost any torture known to man. Anger issues, drug addiction, emotional and physical abuse, rape (for those who need to know - not onpage), bullying, homophobia, hatred... it was nearly overwhelming. Painful to watch, and at times, so well-written I could feel it for myself, particularly Jamie. And then, when he JUST seemed to overcome it - wham, came the trigger that pushed him over the edge and I was just like "Wait, WHAT?". He'd gone through so much worse, how could this, of all things, throw him into that kind of desperation? especially at this point of his life. As much as I pitied Jamie, his reaction was just immature, childish, and that felt totally out of character for him.
Ultimately, though, this book unfortunately fell flat for me for the two major issues I had. During the second half of the book, one character read to the other. The entire passage, the book's blurb and even a goodreads review of this book were quoted word-for-word. I didn't know what to do with that - I can only say that it was another "wait, what?" moment for me and threw me totally out of the story.
My second issue was the book's propensity to get preachy. While the proverbial moral forefinger peeked out discretly enough several times, it turned into a big flashing neon sign by the end. Moving as it was, Matt's sermon I could've done without. I felt hit over the head with it.
So all in all, I guess I still don't really know what to think of it. This book is not off-the-mill stuff, it's ambitious and yes, it reads honest and heartfelt too, but perhaps a bit overachieving (is this a word at all?). Certainly not light and fluffy entertainment, that's for sure.
Consider yourself warned, and maybe, find out for yourself.
This was an exceptional book in many ways. Starting with the narrative - with three different narrators, diary entries, flashbacks, and the present - this might sound confusing but it actually wasn't. The three voices were different enough to keep them apart even without the dates at the head of the paragraphs, offering insights into the heads of all three main characters, Jamie, Matt and Darian, and thus making them come alive nicely. All three were flawed and tortured, and still each one likeable in his own way. Even Matt, who started out as some kind of grunting, self - centered caveman but redeemed himself nicely enough by the end.
Then there was the plot proper. Jamie died, and the two men who were closest to him in life seek solace with each other, finding more than they were looking for. This is a beautiful premise; it was comforting for me as reader to know this beforehand as the book opened with Jamie's funeral. The actual getting together of Matt and Darian was moving, if somewhat far-fetched, and those two had great chemistry together. I could only wish them the best of luck.
Buuuuuut... here's also where my problems started. Remember, one has just lost his lover, the other has been commitment-shy for all his life to a point where he never hooked up with anyone within fifty miles of his home town from fear of having to meet them again. I can totally relate to them seeking and finding solace with each other over the loss of Jamie. But love? Over the course of a few hours, no less? One-eighty. 'nuff said.
Then, all the issues those three had to face. All in all, our three heroes went through almost any torture known to man. Anger issues, drug addiction, emotional and physical abuse, rape (for those who need to know - not onpage), bullying, homophobia, hatred... it was nearly overwhelming. Painful to watch, and at times, so well-written I could feel it for myself, particularly Jamie. And then, when he JUST seemed to overcome it - wham, came the trigger that pushed him over the edge and I was just like "Wait, WHAT?". He'd gone through so much worse, how could this, of all things, throw him into that kind of desperation? especially at this point of his life. As much as I pitied Jamie, his reaction was just immature, childish, and that felt totally out of character for him.
Ultimately, though, this book unfortunately fell flat for me for the two major issues I had. During the second half of the book, one character read to the other. The entire passage, the book's blurb and even a goodreads review of this book were quoted word-for-word. I didn't know what to do with that - I can only say that it was another "wait, what?" moment for me and threw me totally out of the story.
My second issue was the book's propensity to get preachy. While the proverbial moral forefinger peeked out discretly enough several times, it turned into a big flashing neon sign by the end. Moving as it was, Matt's sermon I could've done without. I felt hit over the head with it.
So all in all, I guess I still don't really know what to think of it. This book is not off-the-mill stuff, it's ambitious and yes, it reads honest and heartfelt too, but perhaps a bit overachieving (is this a word at all?). Certainly not light and fluffy entertainment, that's for sure.
Consider yourself warned, and maybe, find out for yourself.
March 17, 2012
This is a beautifully written story that has a very sad beginning. I struggled with connecting with any of the characters at first but that soon changed and everything fell into place. I normally don’t like stories that move from future to past (told by what’s in Jaime’s journal) to present, but in this case the author did a brilliant job. I was never confused nor bored and I never got frustrated with the story moving around.
The only constant for me was my love for sweet, sweet Darian. There is nothing I can say about Darian except he is beautiful inside and out.
I think I had the most trouble with Jaime, too many things about him I couldn’t understand. He confused me, how can you be best friends with someone all your life and keep the relationship he had with Darian a secret for so long. That’s the part that was the hardest to comprehend, six years really, how is that even possible! He had a wonderfully loving father that wanted him yet he chose to stay with his crazy mother, it would have made more sense if she was going to be alone if he left but that wasn’t the case. The only part of Jaime I could relate too is what happens at the end.
Matt, I didn’t really think about him very much, for most of the story all you know about him is that he is a man-whore. It isn’t until he meets Darian that you see a different side of him, a very loving gentle man. I understood them connecting at Jaime’s funeral but I didn’t understand why it was necessary to have them fall in love so fast. It would have been better to end the story with them becoming friends then continue their story in a sequel where they fall in love.
It is a book I would recommend and I’m hoping there is a second book with Matt and Darian story.
The only constant for me was my love for sweet, sweet Darian. There is nothing I can say about Darian except he is beautiful inside and out.
I think I had the most trouble with Jaime, too many things about him I couldn’t understand. He confused me, how can you be best friends with someone all your life and keep the relationship he had with Darian a secret for so long. That’s the part that was the hardest to comprehend, six years really, how is that even possible! He had a wonderfully loving father that wanted him yet he chose to stay with his crazy mother, it would have made more sense if she was going to be alone if he left but that wasn’t the case. The only part of Jaime I could relate too is what happens at the end.
Matt, I didn’t really think about him very much, for most of the story all you know about him is that he is a man-whore. It isn’t until he meets Darian that you see a different side of him, a very loving gentle man. I understood them connecting at Jaime’s funeral but I didn’t understand why it was necessary to have them fall in love so fast. It would have been better to end the story with them becoming friends then continue their story in a sequel where they fall in love.
It is a book I would recommend and I’m hoping there is a second book with Matt and Darian story.
September 30, 2011
Philosopher Immanuel Kant stated: “By a lie, a man... annihilates his dignity as a man.” Jimmy of 'When Love is not Enough' by Wade Kelly learns a tragic lesson in being untruthful.
Jimmy begins to lie to his best friend, Matt, when he doesn't confide in him about his new friend, Darian. His honesty with Matt is the last link between all he is and all he hopes to be. When he severs that tie, he begins to lose his self respect. His fear of being inferior overwhelms him and, as we know, if you don't believe in yourself, nothing else matters. Jimmy didn't believe in himself and all of the good things in his life became irrelevant. In that moment of despair, he convinces himself that ending his life is the only way to stop the excruciating pain that engulfs him.
At first I wasn't impressed with Matt's promiscuity and cocky attitude, but after a while, I actually began to feel sorry for him. Anonymous sex is Matt's way of dealing with his sexuality while preserving the relative normalcy of his life. There's a lot of good in it, especially his friendship with Jimmy; but Matt feels that if he came out, he stands to lose that. Nevertheless, at some level, he craves the intimacy he's denying, until he meets Darian who not only ignites a fire of passion, but also an all consuming desire for intimacy. For the first time in his life, Matt feels what Jimmy tried so hard to convey to him about the subject and is able to open his heart to Darian.
Darian is a fragile, yet enduring soul. He doesn't try to hide who he is. He's a beautiful person, capable of a great deal of devotion. He loves Jimmy so much that he's willing to let him take the lead, and, as well as he can, weathers the ensuing storms. Darian is completely committed to Jimmy, but unfortunately, Jimmy is too confused, too unsure of himself to be able to commit to Darian at that level. When he meets Matt, he feels a bond stronger, more inexplicable than he's ever felt before. He soon realizes, as does Matt, that their intimate connections with Jimmy and ensuing grief are the factors that draw them together and offer the possibility of making them whole once again.
'When Love is not Enough' is raw and intense - definitely not a typical love story. Wade's characters are well conceptualized and his style of writing is solid. Personally, I found following through the flashbacks and journals a little confusing, and in places the dialog drags on a bit; nevertheless, the overall impact of the story makes up for it in spades. If you appreciate a story that challenges you to think harder and feel deeper, one that leaves your mind buzzing even after you've closed the cover, then you'll appreciate this story. Thanks, Wade for a stimulating experience.
NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
Jimmy begins to lie to his best friend, Matt, when he doesn't confide in him about his new friend, Darian. His honesty with Matt is the last link between all he is and all he hopes to be. When he severs that tie, he begins to lose his self respect. His fear of being inferior overwhelms him and, as we know, if you don't believe in yourself, nothing else matters. Jimmy didn't believe in himself and all of the good things in his life became irrelevant. In that moment of despair, he convinces himself that ending his life is the only way to stop the excruciating pain that engulfs him.
At first I wasn't impressed with Matt's promiscuity and cocky attitude, but after a while, I actually began to feel sorry for him. Anonymous sex is Matt's way of dealing with his sexuality while preserving the relative normalcy of his life. There's a lot of good in it, especially his friendship with Jimmy; but Matt feels that if he came out, he stands to lose that. Nevertheless, at some level, he craves the intimacy he's denying, until he meets Darian who not only ignites a fire of passion, but also an all consuming desire for intimacy. For the first time in his life, Matt feels what Jimmy tried so hard to convey to him about the subject and is able to open his heart to Darian.
Darian is a fragile, yet enduring soul. He doesn't try to hide who he is. He's a beautiful person, capable of a great deal of devotion. He loves Jimmy so much that he's willing to let him take the lead, and, as well as he can, weathers the ensuing storms. Darian is completely committed to Jimmy, but unfortunately, Jimmy is too confused, too unsure of himself to be able to commit to Darian at that level. When he meets Matt, he feels a bond stronger, more inexplicable than he's ever felt before. He soon realizes, as does Matt, that their intimate connections with Jimmy and ensuing grief are the factors that draw them together and offer the possibility of making them whole once again.
'When Love is not Enough' is raw and intense - definitely not a typical love story. Wade's characters are well conceptualized and his style of writing is solid. Personally, I found following through the flashbacks and journals a little confusing, and in places the dialog drags on a bit; nevertheless, the overall impact of the story makes up for it in spades. If you appreciate a story that challenges you to think harder and feel deeper, one that leaves your mind buzzing even after you've closed the cover, then you'll appreciate this story. Thanks, Wade for a stimulating experience.
NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
February 24, 2012
Reviewed on Hearts On Fire... http://heartsonfirereviews.com/
This book was absolutely amazing. The story tore me up emotionally but it was well worth the roller coaster ride. The story revolves around three young men from when they were in their late teens up to the present at twenty-two. Jamie and Matt have been best friends for most of their lives. Jamie's parents divorced when he was 15 and the bullies in school were always making fun of his Dad. Jamie got into so many fights that the school counselor finally had Jamie keep a journal to express his feelings. Matt was deeply closeted and from a very religious family. He had a long string of one night stands and never allowed himself to get emotionally close to his tricks. Jamie met Darian one day on a weekend visit to his Dad's house. They soon became friends even though Jamie was only allowed to visit his father one weekend per month. Jamie's mother was a psycho bitch ho was both abusive and hateful. Unknown to anyone, Jamie kept his journal writing up even after graduating from high school. Jamie was what you could call a late bloomer sexually and grudgingly accepted the fact that he was gay until he embraced it fully. Jamie had two big problems, he desperately wanted his mother's approval and he was in love with both Matt and Darian. All three men were damaged in their own way either by abuse, neglect or homophobia. Mr. Kelly created three very well fleshed out and different main characters in Jamie, Matt and Darian and wove them together masterfully. The book begins at Jamie's funeral then flashes back to dated journal entries and then back to the present. Many people would be turned off by this style of story telling but Mr. Kelly made it work perfectly and the story read quite easily. I liked the way Jamie kept Darian a secret from Matt making Darian solely his own. Jamie's Dad was a very loving and personable secondary character who accepted Jamie totally and loved him for the person he was. He was pretty much the polar opposite of Jamie's mother. The sex in the book was well written and fitted each man's different personality. Jamie was the sensual romantic, Darian the hungry affection starved and Matt the scared biff bam slut which made for interesting changes in perspective. I did not see the book having a HEA ending but was pleasantly surprised. The scene in the church was the wake up call to the so called Christian hypocrites. This has become one of my favorite books of all time and I's give it 6 stars if I was allowed. I could go on for pages praising this book but just pick it up for yourself and experience it.
This book was absolutely amazing. The story tore me up emotionally but it was well worth the roller coaster ride. The story revolves around three young men from when they were in their late teens up to the present at twenty-two. Jamie and Matt have been best friends for most of their lives. Jamie's parents divorced when he was 15 and the bullies in school were always making fun of his Dad. Jamie got into so many fights that the school counselor finally had Jamie keep a journal to express his feelings. Matt was deeply closeted and from a very religious family. He had a long string of one night stands and never allowed himself to get emotionally close to his tricks. Jamie met Darian one day on a weekend visit to his Dad's house. They soon became friends even though Jamie was only allowed to visit his father one weekend per month. Jamie's mother was a psycho bitch ho was both abusive and hateful. Unknown to anyone, Jamie kept his journal writing up even after graduating from high school. Jamie was what you could call a late bloomer sexually and grudgingly accepted the fact that he was gay until he embraced it fully. Jamie had two big problems, he desperately wanted his mother's approval and he was in love with both Matt and Darian. All three men were damaged in their own way either by abuse, neglect or homophobia. Mr. Kelly created three very well fleshed out and different main characters in Jamie, Matt and Darian and wove them together masterfully. The book begins at Jamie's funeral then flashes back to dated journal entries and then back to the present. Many people would be turned off by this style of story telling but Mr. Kelly made it work perfectly and the story read quite easily. I liked the way Jamie kept Darian a secret from Matt making Darian solely his own. Jamie's Dad was a very loving and personable secondary character who accepted Jamie totally and loved him for the person he was. He was pretty much the polar opposite of Jamie's mother. The sex in the book was well written and fitted each man's different personality. Jamie was the sensual romantic, Darian the hungry affection starved and Matt the scared biff bam slut which made for interesting changes in perspective. I did not see the book having a HEA ending but was pleasantly surprised. The scene in the church was the wake up call to the so called Christian hypocrites. This has become one of my favorite books of all time and I's give it 6 stars if I was allowed. I could go on for pages praising this book but just pick it up for yourself and experience it.
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January 1, 2013This is a multi-layered, contemporary romantic tragedy, but don't let the "Bitter Sweet" tag scare you. It has an HEA/HFN ending. (and a sequel on the horizon!) One Reviewer said: "Wade Kelly has set a new benchmark for the writing of emotions." So be warned. It just might tear your heart out and make you scream at the pages!
you can go to Dreamspinner press and read and excerpt:
Prologue:
September 25, 2010
I NEVER thought life could fuck me in the ass this hard. What a shitty week!
I never expected to feel so much pain. Not at the age of twenty-one.
I wanted to shove my fist through the wall…
I was frozen to the spot as every muscle went limp…
… when I heard the words “he’s dead,” but as I clenched my fists I discovered all my strength was draining right out of my fingers.
… and the strength drained out of me.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t breathe. The glass of water I was holding slipped from my fingers seconds before I hurled all over my mother’s pink carpet.
Harsh reality seized all logical thinking, pushing my mind beyond its capacity to grasp the truth. I sank to my knees and stared at the wooden floorboards, wondering why the fuck there was a small piece of blue shag carpet still sticking out from the shoe molding. My dad tore that carpet out years ago when he refinished the hardwood. Nothing made sense. My hands shook— my hands never shake—and I tried in vain to block the images flashing before my eyes: images of Jamie.
My hands shook as I swatted the images in front of my face…
I know Darian must have been feeling the same horror and disbelief I was.
… trying desperately to rid my mind of what I saw before me: images of Jamie, dead. Somehow, I know Matt shared what I was feeling right then.
It had to be.
It had to be.
Of course, I didn’t know about Darian then.
I’d never met Matt before, not before the viewing.
It’s so fucking odd, sitting in Jamie’s room. The air’s stale, and the bed’s made up like a hotel suite. Darian should be here with me, but he lacks the balls. I don’t blame him. His pain is worse than mine, in so many ways. I feel like he knew a different person than I did, and in a sense that was true. Darian knew a side of Jamie I will never know.
I can’t bear being away from Matt, but I can’t face Jamie’s empty room. I have to trust Matt knows what he’s doing by going in there. I have to trust he’ll find the answers we’re all looking for.
EVERYONE stared at me before the funeral. Whether they were conscious of the fact or not, their eyes darted in my direction with a certain loathing. As if I’d known he was going to do this and I had the power to stop him. How could I know? I’d known him my entire life, but I never knew Jamie was contemplating suicide.
The wake, if you call it that, was at my mom’s after the “mourners” visited the gravesite. Everyone sat around gossiping about how shocking it was to hear the news. They whispered things like, “How could Jimmy Miller possibly have been so depressed? He was such a nice boy. He was such a pleasant boy. It must have been the strange friends he had. It must have been the music he listened to. It must have been the pressure he was under to succeed where his father failed in life.” It must have been blah, blah, blah….
No one really knew the answer. Not even me.....
you can go to Dreamspinner press and read and excerpt:
Prologue:
September 25, 2010
I NEVER thought life could fuck me in the ass this hard. What a shitty week!
I never expected to feel so much pain. Not at the age of twenty-one.
I wanted to shove my fist through the wall…
I was frozen to the spot as every muscle went limp…
… when I heard the words “he’s dead,” but as I clenched my fists I discovered all my strength was draining right out of my fingers.
… and the strength drained out of me.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t breathe. The glass of water I was holding slipped from my fingers seconds before I hurled all over my mother’s pink carpet.
Harsh reality seized all logical thinking, pushing my mind beyond its capacity to grasp the truth. I sank to my knees and stared at the wooden floorboards, wondering why the fuck there was a small piece of blue shag carpet still sticking out from the shoe molding. My dad tore that carpet out years ago when he refinished the hardwood. Nothing made sense. My hands shook— my hands never shake—and I tried in vain to block the images flashing before my eyes: images of Jamie.
My hands shook as I swatted the images in front of my face…
I know Darian must have been feeling the same horror and disbelief I was.
… trying desperately to rid my mind of what I saw before me: images of Jamie, dead. Somehow, I know Matt shared what I was feeling right then.
It had to be.
It had to be.
Of course, I didn’t know about Darian then.
I’d never met Matt before, not before the viewing.
It’s so fucking odd, sitting in Jamie’s room. The air’s stale, and the bed’s made up like a hotel suite. Darian should be here with me, but he lacks the balls. I don’t blame him. His pain is worse than mine, in so many ways. I feel like he knew a different person than I did, and in a sense that was true. Darian knew a side of Jamie I will never know.
I can’t bear being away from Matt, but I can’t face Jamie’s empty room. I have to trust Matt knows what he’s doing by going in there. I have to trust he’ll find the answers we’re all looking for.
EVERYONE stared at me before the funeral. Whether they were conscious of the fact or not, their eyes darted in my direction with a certain loathing. As if I’d known he was going to do this and I had the power to stop him. How could I know? I’d known him my entire life, but I never knew Jamie was contemplating suicide.
The wake, if you call it that, was at my mom’s after the “mourners” visited the gravesite. Everyone sat around gossiping about how shocking it was to hear the news. They whispered things like, “How could Jimmy Miller possibly have been so depressed? He was such a nice boy. He was such a pleasant boy. It must have been the strange friends he had. It must have been the music he listened to. It must have been the pressure he was under to succeed where his father failed in life.” It must have been blah, blah, blah….
No one really knew the answer. Not even me.....
May 29, 2012
*4.5 stars.
This is a very emotional book that demands that you accept two premises. First, that love can take root in a guy at first sight of his beloved, in the middle of what was meant to be a random hook-up, and be immediately strong enough to change the habits of years. Second, that a man mourning his lover might accept and use sex, not just once but repeatedly, as antidote for his pain and a way to connect with an otherwise empty world. Because that describes the situation for Matt, who has spent ten years in one-night stands, and Darian, who has lost his lover to suicide. If you can accept this, or at least suspend your disbelief, then this book will be a gripping and emotional read.
These two men meet for the first time outside the funeral of Jamie, who was Matt's best friend and Darian's lover. Jamie committed suicide, and the men both try to assuage their pain in a bout of random sex, which immediately turns into an emotional relationship. The book explores how Jamie had related to them both since they were teenagers, and the events and emotions that brought them to this point, one dead, two wounded.
This was a well-written book with interesting characters who have their share of flaws. There were two factors which kept it from being a full five-star read for me. The first was the structure, which is built around a large number of flashbacks and diary entries. There were a few times when I was not sure where a scene was placed in time, relative to the ones I'd already read. The second was the revelation of Jamie's thoughts before his death - despite the difficulties of his situation, the drop into despair and resolute suicide seemed abrupt. I felt like Jamie wasn't depressed enough or invested enough for that precipitating event to tip him over. I was expecting more. But suicide is a tricky thing, and often seems to come out of nowhere and catch us by surprise. Perhaps this was true to life.
In any case, I was caught up in this book, able to suspend my issues with love-at-first-sight and enjoy it, and moved by the emotions. I look forward to this author's next book.
This is a very emotional book that demands that you accept two premises. First, that love can take root in a guy at first sight of his beloved, in the middle of what was meant to be a random hook-up, and be immediately strong enough to change the habits of years. Second, that a man mourning his lover might accept and use sex, not just once but repeatedly, as antidote for his pain and a way to connect with an otherwise empty world. Because that describes the situation for Matt, who has spent ten years in one-night stands, and Darian, who has lost his lover to suicide. If you can accept this, or at least suspend your disbelief, then this book will be a gripping and emotional read.
These two men meet for the first time outside the funeral of Jamie, who was Matt's best friend and Darian's lover. Jamie committed suicide, and the men both try to assuage their pain in a bout of random sex, which immediately turns into an emotional relationship. The book explores how Jamie had related to them both since they were teenagers, and the events and emotions that brought them to this point, one dead, two wounded.
This was a well-written book with interesting characters who have their share of flaws. There were two factors which kept it from being a full five-star read for me. The first was the structure, which is built around a large number of flashbacks and diary entries. There were a few times when I was not sure where a scene was placed in time, relative to the ones I'd already read. The second was the revelation of Jamie's thoughts before his death - despite the difficulties of his situation, the drop into despair and resolute suicide seemed abrupt. I felt like Jamie wasn't depressed enough or invested enough for that precipitating event to tip him over. I was expecting more. But suicide is a tricky thing, and often seems to come out of nowhere and catch us by surprise. Perhaps this was true to life.
In any case, I was caught up in this book, able to suspend my issues with love-at-first-sight and enjoy it, and moved by the emotions. I look forward to this author's next book.
September 5, 2014
I'm torn as to what exactly I feel after finishing this one.
Spoilers abound below, so beware...
So with all of *that* said, it was well written and edited, but for this to be a story about a really good guy killing himself, I can honestly say that I didn't tear up once. But if Amy Lane or T.J. Klune had written this same story, there would not be enough Kleenex on the planet.
Spoilers abound below, so beware...
So with all of *that* said, it was well written and edited, but for this to be a story about a really good guy killing himself, I can honestly say that I didn't tear up once. But if Amy Lane or T.J. Klune had written this same story, there would not be enough Kleenex on the planet.
September 24, 2011
I held off on this story at first because after reading the synopsis I was not sure if I wanted to read such an emotional book that would start with a funeral and the aftermath of that. I am so glad that I did. Once I started it, I did not put it down until I finished it. This book is a rollercoaster ride that once you start,you simply cannot get off until the end. This is definitely a bittersweet romance. Jaime and Darian's relationship was so right, but so wrong at the same time because of all the underlying turmoil that was
taking place. As much as I think Jaime in the end took the cowards way out, I don't think anyone could withstand the amount of pressure he was putting on himself and not eventually lose it. This story was
beautifully written and conveyed so much emotion and such wonderful characters. I would really like to see how Matt and Darian carry on from here.
taking place. As much as I think Jaime in the end took the cowards way out, I don't think anyone could withstand the amount of pressure he was putting on himself and not eventually lose it. This story was
beautifully written and conveyed so much emotion and such wonderful characters. I would really like to see how Matt and Darian carry on from here.
September 15, 2014
First off, let me say that my eyes leaked a bit during this book. What? Okay, a lot! I have mixed feeling about every character in this book. Jamie for doing what he did and leaving them behind, Matt and Darian for daring to start something at that time. This being said I found it very, very sweet and sad and heartwarming and frustrating. I couldn't re-read it but I'm so glad I finally buckled down and read it at all. Thanks Jen! Oh, and I want to hurt Jamie's mom. Like make her suffer while I giggle kind of hurt. Bitch!
September 17, 2011
2.5 stars. Uneven m/m romance that starts with the funeral of a twenty-two year old who committed suicide, then switches between flashbacks of his life, the nearly present, and the present, trying to explain how he reached the point of suicide. Oddly, this book contained what felt like a commercial - a section in which specific m/m books and authors were mentioned and one of the characters read an excerpt to another. After that, I was no longer on board with the story.
September 2, 2011
It's funny reading books at the same time, with the same name for one character, AND referencing things like "rule number two", AND referring to dates that go back years... so ironic! and NOT recommended. Too confusing! (for those who don't pay attention I am referring to American Love Songs AND When Love is Not Enough. I was reading them at the same time!)
I think I literally spent the entire day reading! wow...
Anyway, finally finished it! Worth every second and every tear. (Yes, I cried a little. No jokes about being a wuss.)
This was a wonderful book. I laughed. I got mad! I felt like cussing people out! I think it was was very well done and handled some deep issues. HATE is something so many deal with. It makes me angry that people are so intolerant. Things like this can really happen! I think the interaction between characters is believable.( I was convinced.) And I think all too often young boys feel like this and have no outlet. Makes me angry at those parents who are NOT like Dan Miller!
Anyway.... I recommend it! Top notch!
I think I literally spent the entire day reading! wow...
Anyway, finally finished it! Worth every second and every tear. (Yes, I cried a little. No jokes about being a wuss.)
This was a wonderful book. I laughed. I got mad! I felt like cussing people out! I think it was was very well done and handled some deep issues. HATE is something so many deal with. It makes me angry that people are so intolerant. Things like this can really happen! I think the interaction between characters is believable.( I was convinced.) And I think all too often young boys feel like this and have no outlet. Makes me angry at those parents who are NOT like Dan Miller!
Anyway.... I recommend it! Top notch!
February 6, 2012
Oh Jimmy! God how I loved him and his spirit. God he was such a sweet, caring guy. This is a BEAUTIFUL story and gods I didn't know how I was gonna survive it. The reason for the suicide is heartbreaking and I won't lie you will fall in love with Jimmy and your heart will bleed for him. His final scene, which was handled with nothing but truth expecially if you've been there. It's a killer and I cried for a long time. Definitely a must read but you better have a strong stomach because I'm still well haunted hours after putting it down.
September 26, 2012
(Author provided a copy for an honest review - thank you for the opportunity!)
Wade Kelly's "When Love Is Not Enough" is a story about two men finding love through grief, the recent death of Jimmy- best friend of Matt and fiance of Darian. The author gives us a view of what these three young gay males went through for a six year period. And Wade Kelly, he gave wrote about various emotional subjects: suicide & the aftermath, rape, drug addiction, abuse (both psychological and physical), homophobia, children of divorce, hell there was even a little racism too. A lot of subjects, a lot covered, messages portrayed.
This is Wade Kelly's first book and it shows. I'm not a reader that gets hung up on proper punctuation and the like. A good story will win over every time. The start of this story was rough. I had to read the beginning a few times to understand that it was two separate voices and understand the switching thoughts. Once I got it, following along wasn't that difficult. I liked using Jimmy's diary as a guide into these three lives - Jimmy's, Matt's & Darian's. Relationships are tested between the three young men, sex is had, horrible instances happened.
During these six years were some of the worst and happiest moments of their lives. I think Matt and Jimmy's friendship was portrayed the best when comparing to Matt's & Darian's or Jimmy's & Darian's relationship. And some of their reactions, like first time having sex, young love were more believable than others, like Darian texting Jimmy while high with "Noooooooooo...". At times the dialogue didn't match to the character.
I'm not giving this book an automatic five star rating because the author discussed hot button topics as bigotry, homophobia, abuse, etc. and included said topics in this novel. The story, while good, didn't leave as much as an impact on me as it did with fellow readers. I do think Wade Kelly should continue writing, you have good ideas.
Matt and Darian's romance...eh, I don't know. I guess Matt and Darian could find insta-love through such an emotional period. I think I would have believed more in their relationship if maybe we got to see them interact further down in the future as an epilogue instead of the next day after declarations are made.
But it's not based on Matt turning from a 'man-slut' to being faithful (it can happen) but there was so little time these two men had together, it felt more like an extended week-long screw when the lust is still hot, birds tweets are a little sweeter, coffee smells a little better. I get the HEA/HFN now references from other reviewers.
I liked the idea of two men piecing their way into love while grieving for an integral person in their life. But there was something missing to me. The story's impact wasn't that strong. Jimmy's mother was a bad mother, her last words to Jimmy- horrible. But Jimmy knew his mother to be this way. He expected it when coming out. I'm sure the impact even expecting it was devastating but his extreme he went to...
Who's to say how you or I would react in the situation or their frame of mind. But Jimmy didn't seem that he was so anxious to please his mother, he completed whatever she demanded of him, accepted whatever she dished out with little quibble. So other than him just stating it out of the blue to Matt, there weren't any references in his journal entries, his tool of his innermost thoughts.
Kelly's writing tone reminds me of Andrew Grey (which is funny when I read Kelly's shout-out to Grey in the story)/Shawn Lane/Etienne. So if you are a mega fan of theirs, I think you will eat this book up.
Will I read anything else from this author in the future? Sure. I'd like to see what else this author might write about. The ideas are interesting enough.
How do I rate it? The major events written were fine (ex. the death, coming out). The filler in between was not as solid (ex.Jimmy's feelings of not pleasing his mother or character's dialogue). I was on the fence with rating this but I figured the middle is where it will be, so 2.5 STARS.
Wade Kelly's "When Love Is Not Enough" is a story about two men finding love through grief, the recent death of Jimmy- best friend of Matt and fiance of Darian. The author gives us a view of what these three young gay males went through for a six year period. And Wade Kelly, he gave wrote about various emotional subjects: suicide & the aftermath, rape, drug addiction, abuse (both psychological and physical), homophobia, children of divorce, hell there was even a little racism too. A lot of subjects, a lot covered, messages portrayed.
This is Wade Kelly's first book and it shows. I'm not a reader that gets hung up on proper punctuation and the like. A good story will win over every time. The start of this story was rough. I had to read the beginning a few times to understand that it was two separate voices and understand the switching thoughts. Once I got it, following along wasn't that difficult. I liked using Jimmy's diary as a guide into these three lives - Jimmy's, Matt's & Darian's. Relationships are tested between the three young men, sex is had, horrible instances happened.
During these six years were some of the worst and happiest moments of their lives. I think Matt and Jimmy's friendship was portrayed the best when comparing to Matt's & Darian's or Jimmy's & Darian's relationship. And some of their reactions, like first time having sex, young love were more believable than others, like Darian texting Jimmy while high with "Noooooooooo...". At times the dialogue didn't match to the character.
I'm not giving this book an automatic five star rating because the author discussed hot button topics as bigotry, homophobia, abuse, etc. and included said topics in this novel. The story, while good, didn't leave as much as an impact on me as it did with fellow readers. I do think Wade Kelly should continue writing, you have good ideas.
Matt and Darian's romance...eh, I don't know. I guess Matt and Darian could find insta-love through such an emotional period. I think I would have believed more in their relationship if maybe we got to see them interact further down in the future as an epilogue instead of the next day after declarations are made.
But it's not based on Matt turning from a 'man-slut' to being faithful (it can happen) but there was so little time these two men had together, it felt more like an extended week-long screw when the lust is still hot, birds tweets are a little sweeter, coffee smells a little better. I get the HEA/HFN now references from other reviewers.
I liked the idea of two men piecing their way into love while grieving for an integral person in their life. But there was something missing to me. The story's impact wasn't that strong. Jimmy's mother was a bad mother, her last words to Jimmy- horrible. But Jimmy knew his mother to be this way. He expected it when coming out. I'm sure the impact even expecting it was devastating but his extreme he went to...
Who's to say how you or I would react in the situation or their frame of mind. But Jimmy didn't seem that he was so anxious to please his mother, he completed whatever she demanded of him, accepted whatever she dished out with little quibble. So other than him just stating it out of the blue to Matt, there weren't any references in his journal entries, his tool of his innermost thoughts.
Kelly's writing tone reminds me of Andrew Grey (which is funny when I read Kelly's shout-out to Grey in the story)/Shawn Lane/Etienne. So if you are a mega fan of theirs, I think you will eat this book up.
Will I read anything else from this author in the future? Sure. I'd like to see what else this author might write about. The ideas are interesting enough.
How do I rate it? The major events written were fine (ex. the death, coming out). The filler in between was not as solid (ex.Jimmy's feelings of not pleasing his mother or character's dialogue). I was on the fence with rating this but I figured the middle is where it will be, so 2.5 STARS.
January 21, 2013
Having just finished Wade Kelly's new book which I loved, I automatically looked to see if he'd written anything else and found this. I have to be honest I was a little wary because it was about suicide but I decided to give it a go and was surprised to find that it was far from the gloomy, dark, miserable tale I was expecting. What I found was (albeit being terribly sad ) a poignant, bittersweet and very moving story based around three young men who are all living with secrets and lies, that unfortunately, for one of them becomes to much to bear, therefore leading to a tragic decision. I was worried it would have me sobbing all the way through but thankfully, even though it was very moving, I thought it was cleverly constructed. By making us aware of the suicide straightaway it gives us time over the flashbacks to accept the fact it is going to happen so the horrible shock factor is taken away but we are still emotionally bound to the story. I 'misted' up many times but was actually moved to tears only once at the end and that's not a complaint.
The story begins with Jamie's ( Jimmy to everyone else ) suicide and through a series of flashbacks shown over a period of 6 years, we get to see everything that transpires in this period of his life leading up to it. It's mainly Jamie's voice that tells the story but due to Mr Kelly's unique style of writing, both Matt and Darien are vividly portrayed, their stories interwoven into the complicated mess that Jaimie's double life becomes. One of the most important factors in Jamie's story is his dysfunctional relationship with his mother who is mentally deranged and abusive. She has an emotional hold over him, and because she is not amicably divorced from his father - a lovely,sympathetic character who he would much rather be living with - this alone puts Jamie at odds with life and has a massive impact on the outcome of the story, as well as his complex relationships with Matt and Darien.
Being the sort of story this is, it's tempting to give high ratings just because of the emotional subject matter, and there are many beautifully written moments scattered throughout the book..... but in retrospect, there are also some flaws. The most obvious for me being the the insta-love between Matt and Darien that didn't quite ring true, not the fact that they could be attracted to each other but the coincidental way they meet and the fact that they fall in love in a matter of days! Also it bothered me that in a way their relationship would also always be overshadowed by secrets because there are things that Matt finds out about Jamie he would never be able to tell Darien because his type of personality would never be able to handle it - to try and explain why would be too much of a spoiler but......despite those few niggles I cant deny that Wade Kelly is a clever insightful writer so I'm still giving him 5 stars.
I love how at a crucial moment in both his books he has given a particular character the chance to give a beautiful, heartfelt speech in a stand against homophobia, and in both cases I would be there cheering and clapping loudly.it was at this point in the book that I was actually moved to tears. I like this author and his ideals a lot. I think he will become quite a force in the future for this genre.
The story begins with Jamie's ( Jimmy to everyone else ) suicide and through a series of flashbacks shown over a period of 6 years, we get to see everything that transpires in this period of his life leading up to it. It's mainly Jamie's voice that tells the story but due to Mr Kelly's unique style of writing, both Matt and Darien are vividly portrayed, their stories interwoven into the complicated mess that Jaimie's double life becomes. One of the most important factors in Jamie's story is his dysfunctional relationship with his mother who is mentally deranged and abusive. She has an emotional hold over him, and because she is not amicably divorced from his father - a lovely,sympathetic character who he would much rather be living with - this alone puts Jamie at odds with life and has a massive impact on the outcome of the story, as well as his complex relationships with Matt and Darien.
Being the sort of story this is, it's tempting to give high ratings just because of the emotional subject matter, and there are many beautifully written moments scattered throughout the book..... but in retrospect, there are also some flaws. The most obvious for me being the the insta-love between Matt and Darien that didn't quite ring true, not the fact that they could be attracted to each other but the coincidental way they meet and the fact that they fall in love in a matter of days! Also it bothered me that in a way their relationship would also always be overshadowed by secrets because there are things that Matt finds out about Jamie he would never be able to tell Darien because his type of personality would never be able to handle it - to try and explain why would be too much of a spoiler but......despite those few niggles I cant deny that Wade Kelly is a clever insightful writer so I'm still giving him 5 stars.
I love how at a crucial moment in both his books he has given a particular character the chance to give a beautiful, heartfelt speech in a stand against homophobia, and in both cases I would be there cheering and clapping loudly.it was at this point in the book that I was actually moved to tears. I like this author and his ideals a lot. I think he will become quite a force in the future for this genre.
February 23, 2012
First - I’m sorry for my English but I hope you'll understand me.
Second – my review is one big spoiler ;)
I LOVE this book. I wished I had more time to read. It was wonderful, emotional reading. I can identify myself with all three heroes of this book. They’re absolutely believable and I can empathize with their actions.
Jimmy’s parents are divorced; his mother is selfish and bigot (…crazy bitch). She even hit Jimmy several times. Jimmy met Darian when he was at his father’s (Dan Miller is really wonderful person). Jimmy weighs his feelings for Darian and later he admits that he’s gay and that he loves him. Jimmy is unable to come out to his best friend Matt because he fears that this would be the end of their friendship or rather admission that he's attracted to Matt will destroy their friendship. He lives two separate lives. Constant lying and half-truths on both fronts along with his mother's behavior breaks his soul, his self-confidence and situation results in his suicide.
Darian is sweet and affectionate young man, an artist, who grew up only with his mother, half-siblings and with an infinite number of mother's boyfriends (one of them led him to drugs). He suffers from bullying at school for his homosexuality. He took painkillers later and even heroin, because he fears that good things that happen in his life will not last.
Matt is hiding himself behind manwhore attitude, his acquaintances are one night stands only and not from a town he lives in. He does not hide anything about himself from Jimmy but it’s convenient for him to be in the closet for the rest of folks (Jimmy is forced to not outing him). I think that Matt is maybe afraid that if he comes out it might destroy (or people might destroy) his friendship with Jimmy. Matt also ignores the signs that Jimmy gave him about his homosexuality… After Jimmy’s death he meets Darian who is the right person to reveal his softer side. They are attracted to each other, they care for each other. I have to say that I admire Matt for how he stood up for his best friend Jimmy and Darian even if it meant for him to come out and admit his homosexuality in front of all those people at church.
This book had me in its clutches for more than a week after I read it. I was thinking about it over and over. Yes, this story is full of raw emotions and very sad, but definitely worth reading.
Thank you Wade for this wonderful book ;) I’m looking forward to sequel … I want to read more about Matt and Darian :)
Second – my review is one big spoiler ;)
I LOVE this book. I wished I had more time to read. It was wonderful, emotional reading. I can identify myself with all three heroes of this book. They’re absolutely believable and I can empathize with their actions.
Jimmy’s parents are divorced; his mother is selfish and bigot (…crazy bitch). She even hit Jimmy several times. Jimmy met Darian when he was at his father’s (Dan Miller is really wonderful person). Jimmy weighs his feelings for Darian and later he admits that he’s gay and that he loves him. Jimmy is unable to come out to his best friend Matt because he fears that this would be the end of their friendship or rather admission that he's attracted to Matt will destroy their friendship. He lives two separate lives. Constant lying and half-truths on both fronts along with his mother's behavior breaks his soul, his self-confidence and situation results in his suicide.
Darian is sweet and affectionate young man, an artist, who grew up only with his mother, half-siblings and with an infinite number of mother's boyfriends (one of them led him to drugs). He suffers from bullying at school for his homosexuality. He took painkillers later and even heroin, because he fears that good things that happen in his life will not last.
Matt is hiding himself behind manwhore attitude, his acquaintances are one night stands only and not from a town he lives in. He does not hide anything about himself from Jimmy but it’s convenient for him to be in the closet for the rest of folks (Jimmy is forced to not outing him). I think that Matt is maybe afraid that if he comes out it might destroy (or people might destroy) his friendship with Jimmy. Matt also ignores the signs that Jimmy gave him about his homosexuality… After Jimmy’s death he meets Darian who is the right person to reveal his softer side. They are attracted to each other, they care for each other. I have to say that I admire Matt for how he stood up for his best friend Jimmy and Darian even if it meant for him to come out and admit his homosexuality in front of all those people at church.
This book had me in its clutches for more than a week after I read it. I was thinking about it over and over. Yes, this story is full of raw emotions and very sad, but definitely worth reading.
Thank you Wade for this wonderful book ;) I’m looking forward to sequel … I want to read more about Matt and Darian :)
February 16, 2012
Last night, I sat down to read When Love is not Enough by Wade Kelly. The opening had me really confused, but begging for more. I had to know what caused the worse day ever and why two people who had never met were experiencing the same emotions.
I couldn't put this book down. I fell in love with Jamie, his best from Matt, and fiance Darian. This raw emotional roller coaster had me cheering for these young characters one minute and crying for them the next.
The pain and constant degrading comments creates a world in which Jamie feels like he can't go on. After his parents divorce, Jamie is asked by a counselor to keep a journal to help his temper instead of getting into fights at school. Matt seeks out Jamie's journal to better understand why a healthy young man about to get married would take his own life.
The once a month weekend visits to his dad, Dan Miller, Jamie discovers Darian and falls in love for the first time. Dan Miller deserves the award for parent of the year! Jamie goes to his dad when his feelings for another boy start to arise. His dad is a constant support system he doesn't have at home with his controlling, abusive, crazy mother Joan.
What to expect when you pick up this book? The reader will be subjected to a timeline from childhood until Jamie takes his own life at the age of twenty-two. The POV and timeline jump around several times in this book. For me, I thought I got to know and understand all the characters better this way. It was like when a movie flashes back between the past and the present. A full, clear picture was painted of the characters and the world they lived in.
I loved this book! I wanted to hold Jamie and tell him to be strong. I wanted to high-five Matt when he stood in front of the church and told of how his best friend loved everyone and would never judge them. How Christians needed to be God like and love everyone, not just those who agree with their life-style.
Wade Kelly's story was a beautiful tale of loss, love, and friendship. I wish there was more time to dive into the relationships after the funeral to see the aftermath of Jamie's choice. I loved how Wade created characters that could be relatable to youth today. In the wake of so many young adult suicides, I would hope this book could reach out to not only those contemplating taking their lives, but to those who are narrow-minded and hurtful to others.
I give this book 5 stars and would recommend it to anyone.
I couldn't put this book down. I fell in love with Jamie, his best from Matt, and fiance Darian. This raw emotional roller coaster had me cheering for these young characters one minute and crying for them the next.
The pain and constant degrading comments creates a world in which Jamie feels like he can't go on. After his parents divorce, Jamie is asked by a counselor to keep a journal to help his temper instead of getting into fights at school. Matt seeks out Jamie's journal to better understand why a healthy young man about to get married would take his own life.
The once a month weekend visits to his dad, Dan Miller, Jamie discovers Darian and falls in love for the first time. Dan Miller deserves the award for parent of the year! Jamie goes to his dad when his feelings for another boy start to arise. His dad is a constant support system he doesn't have at home with his controlling, abusive, crazy mother Joan.
What to expect when you pick up this book? The reader will be subjected to a timeline from childhood until Jamie takes his own life at the age of twenty-two. The POV and timeline jump around several times in this book. For me, I thought I got to know and understand all the characters better this way. It was like when a movie flashes back between the past and the present. A full, clear picture was painted of the characters and the world they lived in.
I loved this book! I wanted to hold Jamie and tell him to be strong. I wanted to high-five Matt when he stood in front of the church and told of how his best friend loved everyone and would never judge them. How Christians needed to be God like and love everyone, not just those who agree with their life-style.
Wade Kelly's story was a beautiful tale of loss, love, and friendship. I wish there was more time to dive into the relationships after the funeral to see the aftermath of Jamie's choice. I loved how Wade created characters that could be relatable to youth today. In the wake of so many young adult suicides, I would hope this book could reach out to not only those contemplating taking their lives, but to those who are narrow-minded and hurtful to others.
I give this book 5 stars and would recommend it to anyone.
August 30, 2011
Read it in 24 hours. Once I started it, I couldn't put it down. I wanted to know what made Jimmy take his life and leave his best friend and lover behind. When I found out, it made sense and it made me want to break something because it's just so unfair. The author did a great job in showing the difficulties that a young guy often has to go through, difficilties that become bigger when he happens to be gay and has a troubled family. I felt connected to all three characters and I loved them all, even though at times I really wanted to slap some sense into them, especially Jimmy. All three of them are flawed but I learnt to love them for their qualities and to understand where their mistakes came from. Darian was my favorite, he broke my heart and I can understand why both Jimmy and Matt felt the need to protect him, because for the entire book I wanted to do it too. The final part made me tear up. I'm looking forward to read future books by this author.
November 22, 2011
I had to step back from this book for a day before I could write anything about it. The story shoved itself into my psyche and I couldn't look at it rationally right after I read it.
All three main characters were fabulously written and I fell in love with all of them. Matt for his strength, humor and protective instincts even in the face of not having much for himself (emotionally), Darian for his innocence, sweetness and his love for Jamie, and Jamie for trying so hard to be himself while dealing with so many things and for the love he tried so hard to give everyone (even if undeserved).
Walking through the lives of these three young men was heartbreaking, humorous, and more true to life than most books I have read. Their paths were so different and yet in the end they were completely entwined.
I cried, I laughed, I got angry and I fell in love with the characters and their story.
All three main characters were fabulously written and I fell in love with all of them. Matt for his strength, humor and protective instincts even in the face of not having much for himself (emotionally), Darian for his innocence, sweetness and his love for Jamie, and Jamie for trying so hard to be himself while dealing with so many things and for the love he tried so hard to give everyone (even if undeserved).
Walking through the lives of these three young men was heartbreaking, humorous, and more true to life than most books I have read. Their paths were so different and yet in the end they were completely entwined.
I cried, I laughed, I got angry and I fell in love with the characters and their story.
December 18, 2014
Wow. This book was so touching, beautiful, heartbreaking, and brilliantly written. I liked how the story shifted back and forth between the past and present to give a more thorough understanding of all the events that occurred along with how it was relevant to the now. The relationship between the guys seemed to happen very quick, especially for how much Darian said he was in love with Jamie but I can understand how much the suicide and not really knowing Jamie could have shaken him to his core. The only thing that left me unsettled is the open ended potential for Matt and Darian to be a rebound relationship for D. The epilogue was the same day that the last chapter ended...I would have gotten more satisfaction if it has been a year later to see how things were going. This was so well written though. Despite all my tears, I was cheering for Matt and Darian through the book and my heart was breaking for Jamie to read his struggle.
September 25, 2011
This was a difficult book for me to get through, only because it was so brutally emotional. The struggle that the main character goes through, trying to keep secrets for his friend; dealing with abuse from his mother; and coming to terms with his sexuality and emotions are raw and extremely painful to be a witness to.
The author's descriptions of the feelings experienced are so real, you can't help but wonder if he's experienced, or knows someone intimately who has experienced these same emotions.
This book is timely and current, especially with the recent death of Jamey Rodemeyer. I would consider this book required reading for any parent, friend, classmate, or counselor of a young person struggling with coming to terms with their feelings or sexual selves.
Make sure you have a good handful of Kleenex when you get towards the end of this one.
The author's descriptions of the feelings experienced are so real, you can't help but wonder if he's experienced, or knows someone intimately who has experienced these same emotions.
This book is timely and current, especially with the recent death of Jamey Rodemeyer. I would consider this book required reading for any parent, friend, classmate, or counselor of a young person struggling with coming to terms with their feelings or sexual selves.
Make sure you have a good handful of Kleenex when you get towards the end of this one.
November 12, 2011
This was different...I like different. To say I have been twisted into an emotional pretzel is an understatement. What a heartbreaking, frustrating, enraging, sweet, beautiful story. How Mr. Kelly made this narrative and subject matter work without becoming too overwhelming, causing me confusion and an anxiety attack or two, I will never know. A couple of personal pet peeves: . Fortunately, they didn't interfere with my overall enjoyment too much. I'm glad I didn't allow the BITTERSWEET to become a deterrent and I'm looking forward to more.
September 23, 2011
2-2,5 stars
I agree to 99% with Feliz`review.
2 ratings for the book from me -
4,5 stars for the writing and making the difficult narrative work.
1 star for a story and characters that simply made me see red!
Thanks again to Feliz for writing her detailed and spot on review....so I could keep my mouth shut...
I agree to 99% with Feliz`review.
2 ratings for the book from me -
4,5 stars for the writing and making the difficult narrative work.
1 star for a story and characters that simply made me see red!
Thanks again to Feliz for writing her detailed and spot on review....so I could keep my mouth shut...
October 5, 2011
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this wonderful book. You’ll find yourself cheering them on at times and at other times wanting to pull them to your chest to comfort them as you would with any good friend. I say this because by the end of this book, I felt like I’d known these characters all of my life.
This book deals with the suicide of the Jamie and the effects of his sudden, unexplained death on the two men in his life, Darian and Matt. Starting with the funeral, the story then jumps to the back to the beginning and starts the telling of the events that leads to Jamie’s death. The main issues lying throughout this book are drug abuse, fear of coming out, being promiscuous, fear of commitment, being secretly in love with your best friend and dealing with familial homophobia. There’s something in here that most of us can easily identify with. So, if you want to read a deep, sexy, funny and often sad novel, go download When Love Is Not Enough from one of the usual ebook outlets or buy a physical copy at your friendly neighborhood gay bookstore.
This book deals with the suicide of the Jamie and the effects of his sudden, unexplained death on the two men in his life, Darian and Matt. Starting with the funeral, the story then jumps to the back to the beginning and starts the telling of the events that leads to Jamie’s death. The main issues lying throughout this book are drug abuse, fear of coming out, being promiscuous, fear of commitment, being secretly in love with your best friend and dealing with familial homophobia. There’s something in here that most of us can easily identify with. So, if you want to read a deep, sexy, funny and often sad novel, go download When Love Is Not Enough from one of the usual ebook outlets or buy a physical copy at your friendly neighborhood gay bookstore.
December 25, 2011
I love a book that invites the reader to become emotionally involved in the world and the characters that become living, breathing entities. This book was an emotional rollercoaster that spanned time and dealt with difficult issues. Jamie is the heart of this book and all of his emotions are laid out in journal/memory style. Matt and Dare add to the complement of Jamie and it was great to see the strength of love and character that they had for each other.
It weighed on the heart to learn about what can lead such a kind man to choose suicide.
I did have a problem with Dare and Matt's relationship, but I think that is more because of the quick development (I believe what comes after the grief will be different than what happens during). They are both vulnerable, I just have to deal. Great read filled with love, happiness, self doubt and grief.
It weighed on the heart to learn about what can lead such a kind man to choose suicide.
I did have a problem with Dare and Matt's relationship, but I think that is more because of the quick development (I believe what comes after the grief will be different than what happens during). They are both vulnerable, I just have to deal. Great read filled with love, happiness, self doubt and grief.
September 5, 2011
This book is simply wonderful. I really wasn't sure if I should read it because of the suicide issue, but I am glad I did. It's just great, wonderfully written and the characters are so real, I simply got sucked into the story and just couldn't stop reading. I had to stop when I had to go and buy some tissues because I cried almost from the beginning through to the end. I was really sad when I finished the book because I would love to know how the relationship between Darian and Matt carries on.
Great job, Wade!!!!!
Great job, Wade!!!!!
November 21, 2011
SIMPLY STUNNING! From beginning to finish, When Love Is Not Enough, is truly a special story that will touch your heart!
It’s a true testament to Wade Kelly's writing abilities that he can take such a raw, emotional subject matter as suicide and turn it into something beautiful and more importantly, something that gives us hope.
The story centers around Jimmy Miller, an average kid with divorced parents who struggles daily with his sexual identity to the point that his lies have caused him to lead a double life.
One, with is over-controlling, religious mother and step-family where he pretends to be straight and tries his hardest to please his mom by staying out of trouble. In this life, Jimmy has a best friend named Matt, who on the surface is an all-American good boy but in reality, is a deeply-closeted gay boy who leads a life of nameless one-night stands and dangerous clubbing.
The second is with his father, a man whose love and support allow Jimmy to explore his attraction to a goth boy named Darian. In this life, Jimmy can be himself though he does struggle to come to terms with the question that eats away at him: Am I gay?
Now, I was a little leery reading a book that starts off on such a sad note. In fact the opening scene is about both men finding out their best friend and lover has committed suicide and from there progresses to the viewing and finally, the funeral. In between these scenes are a series of flashbacks that goes back and tells the story and finally answers the question: Why did Jimmy take his own life?
I was worried right from the get go that I would not believe a love match between Matt and Darian after reading about Jimmy falling in love with Darian. However, I found myself completely engrossed in Matt and Darian, who in my opinion are a better match. Their first meeting is INSANE and I could not believe these two did not know who the other was! I loved seeing Matt vindicate himself by turning all knight-in-shining-armor with Darian, who I was absolutely devastated for right from the opening scene. Darian brought out a side of Matt that screamed soul mate to me.
By the end of the book, yes I was sad that Jimmy died, but I was also happy that Matt and Darian had each other. I kind of felt like maybe this was a gift from Jimmy...something he couldn’t give them in life. Now, I should say that the author does not tie everything up in a nice red bow, but he does give us hope that what was forged during this terrible ordeal will last. I for one am thrilled that there are two other books about these guys.
I recommend this book to everyone looking for a bittersweet love story that will stay with you for a long time to come!
It’s a true testament to Wade Kelly's writing abilities that he can take such a raw, emotional subject matter as suicide and turn it into something beautiful and more importantly, something that gives us hope.
The story centers around Jimmy Miller, an average kid with divorced parents who struggles daily with his sexual identity to the point that his lies have caused him to lead a double life.
One, with is over-controlling, religious mother and step-family where he pretends to be straight and tries his hardest to please his mom by staying out of trouble. In this life, Jimmy has a best friend named Matt, who on the surface is an all-American good boy but in reality, is a deeply-closeted gay boy who leads a life of nameless one-night stands and dangerous clubbing.
The second is with his father, a man whose love and support allow Jimmy to explore his attraction to a goth boy named Darian. In this life, Jimmy can be himself though he does struggle to come to terms with the question that eats away at him: Am I gay?
Now, I was a little leery reading a book that starts off on such a sad note. In fact the opening scene is about both men finding out their best friend and lover has committed suicide and from there progresses to the viewing and finally, the funeral. In between these scenes are a series of flashbacks that goes back and tells the story and finally answers the question: Why did Jimmy take his own life?
I was worried right from the get go that I would not believe a love match between Matt and Darian after reading about Jimmy falling in love with Darian. However, I found myself completely engrossed in Matt and Darian, who in my opinion are a better match. Their first meeting is INSANE and I could not believe these two did not know who the other was! I loved seeing Matt vindicate himself by turning all knight-in-shining-armor with Darian, who I was absolutely devastated for right from the opening scene. Darian brought out a side of Matt that screamed soul mate to me.
By the end of the book, yes I was sad that Jimmy died, but I was also happy that Matt and Darian had each other. I kind of felt like maybe this was a gift from Jimmy...something he couldn’t give them in life. Now, I should say that the author does not tie everything up in a nice red bow, but he does give us hope that what was forged during this terrible ordeal will last. I for one am thrilled that there are two other books about these guys.
I recommend this book to everyone looking for a bittersweet love story that will stay with you for a long time to come!
January 7, 2013
This is a wonderful, remarkable novel. I won't go through the entire story since so many other reviewers have discussed it. I want to address some of the other reviewers' comments about this book.
First, the story is absolutely terrific and believable. I know some people have questioned the rapid way that two of the main characters need each other after Jamie's funeral, but that makes complete sense to me. (Maybe, you have to live through it just once to understand the strong bond that can develop in the midst of a tragedy.).
Second, how many of us have looked to our parents for unconditional love as we were trying to come out to ourselves and others? It makes no sense when some reviewers say the reason for Jaime's suicide was "such a small thing to push him over the edge". I think is absolutely the opposite: the complete rejection by a parent (even one as miserable as Jaime's mother) can have profound effects on a person's self-worth. And, that was the straw that broke the camel's back in Jaime's fragile life. I think it was a realistic view on the torment that pushes a person to take their own life.
Third, I have to agree with some of the other reviewers about the three main characters in this book. They were so deeply developed that it was like peeling an onion to try to get to their base emotions. I have not seen this sort of depth of character in a single novel in the few hundred or so novels that I have read in the past year.
Finally, and is comment is meant for the author (because I know you read these Wade). If you don't finish the sequel soon, I an going to track you down and force you to write every single day until it's finally finished.
This was most certainly not a typical romance story -- it was so much more than that, and it was my privilege to read this book.
If I could give it more than five stars, I would. But, on goodreads' system, it's 5 out of 5 for me.
First, the story is absolutely terrific and believable. I know some people have questioned the rapid way that two of the main characters need each other after Jamie's funeral, but that makes complete sense to me. (Maybe, you have to live through it just once to understand the strong bond that can develop in the midst of a tragedy.).
Second, how many of us have looked to our parents for unconditional love as we were trying to come out to ourselves and others? It makes no sense when some reviewers say the reason for Jaime's suicide was "such a small thing to push him over the edge". I think is absolutely the opposite: the complete rejection by a parent (even one as miserable as Jaime's mother) can have profound effects on a person's self-worth. And, that was the straw that broke the camel's back in Jaime's fragile life. I think it was a realistic view on the torment that pushes a person to take their own life.
Third, I have to agree with some of the other reviewers about the three main characters in this book. They were so deeply developed that it was like peeling an onion to try to get to their base emotions. I have not seen this sort of depth of character in a single novel in the few hundred or so novels that I have read in the past year.
Finally, and is comment is meant for the author (because I know you read these Wade). If you don't finish the sequel soon, I an going to track you down and force you to write every single day until it's finally finished.
This was most certainly not a typical romance story -- it was so much more than that, and it was my privilege to read this book.
If I could give it more than five stars, I would. But, on goodreads' system, it's 5 out of 5 for me.
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