Reaching Your Child's Heart: A Practical Guide to Faithful Parenting

by Juan Sanchez, Jeanine Sánchez

In Reaching a Child’s Heart , Juan and Jeanine Sanchez encourage parents from their gospel-shaped perspective that children don’t need perfect parents―they need a perfect Savior. Raising children can feel overwhelming as you try to navigate the many voices telling you what to do and not to do, but God has already given you everything you need to be faithful parents! Even though you may be exhausted and discouraged, take heart from the simple, biblical principles shared by Juan and Jeanine Sanchez that will point you to Jesus as your guide and helper as you seek to shepherd your children through every age and stage of growth. As they share their own journey of parenting five children, the authors highlight the importance of a team-based approach of parenting together. They emphasize focusing on children’s hearts, rather than behavior modification, and illustrate how daily faithfulness in the routine cares of life is never a waste of time.

Genres: Parenting, Christian Living, Family

192 pages, Paperback

Published May 6, 2024

About the author

Since 2005, Juan has served as senior pastor of High Pointe Baptist Church in Austin, Texas. He is a graduate of the University of Florida and holds an MDiv, a ThM, and a PhD in systematic theology from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. In addition, Juan serves as a council member of The Gospel Coalition, co-founder and president of Coalición, assistant professor of Christian theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, and president of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention. He has authored numerous books, including
1 Peter for You and Seven Dangers Facing your Church (forthcoming March 2018). Juan came to faith in Christ at the age of 17 out of a Roman Catholic background, and since 1990 has been married to Jeanine. They live in the Austin metro area and have five adult daughters.

Reviews

[W. Whalin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biblical Insights and Practical Parenting Information

Authors Juan and Jeanine Sanchez have written an honest yet Biblical book about parenting. The path for every parent is not well-defined and easy with many twists and turns.

As the authors write in an early section of this book, “Parenting is hard. Parenting is frustrating. Too many of our days seem to bear no fruit. If we are to parent faithfully, we must remember that, just like we were, our children are born with hard hearts and in need of a new heart that beats for God. They need God’s Spirit to empower them to obey. Only God can give them that. Our task is to teach them God’s standard, show them God’s patience with sinners, and pray God would save them. And even with believing children, we must continue teaching them God’s Word, show them God’s patient love, and pray for their holiness. That’s the task.” (Page 23)

Throughout REACHING YOUR CHILD’S HEART, I was impressed with the authors’ transparency, personal stories and their commitment to the Scriptures. Every parent can gain insight and wisdom from reading this book. I recommend it.

W. Terry Whalin is an editor and the author of more than 60 books including his recent 10 Publishing Myths, Insights Every Author Needs to Succeed .

[Meagan L · Rating 5 out of 5]

The message of faithful parenting rings throughout the pages of this book. Whether you have an infant in the home or grown kids, this book is a helpful and encouraging read. As a Christian parent, I was reminded time and time again that my children do not need a perfect parent (what a relief!), but rather, they need a "humble, faithful, patient, repentant, and loving parent." Juan and Jeanine help Christian parents look to Jesus for guidance in filling up our children's "bucket." Be watchful dear saint. The enemy does not want you to read this book because it points to Jesus and God's Word in every chapter. If you want to parent with eternity in mind, read this book. If you want to "parent today how you want to live tomorrow," read this book. From personal stories, charts, advice, age specific encouragements, and failures, you will find yourself laughing and crying by the end of this book. You may think "I don't have time" but as the authors encourage the reader "you should wisely use every moment you have with your children." Reading a book that stirs your affections for both our Heavenly Father and our children is a wise use of time. Read it with your spouse, a mentor, or a friend. You, and your children, will be thankful.

[Stephen Tankersley · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 stars

Beyond excellent, highly recommend to all parents. Theologically sound and filled with practical application. This might have passed PDTripp’s “Parenting” as the book on parenting I’d recommend if I could only recommended one*.


*thankfully I don’t have to just recommend one. So you should definitely just read both

[Bethany Beasley]

Our desire for our children should be the same as God's: that they would be children who reflect God's image and display his glory in all they think, say, and do.

We are to train our children in a way that honors God, while also taking into account their individual personalities, needs, and abilities. That is the way of wisdom that leads to life.

Be sure to make your home a safe place for them to respectfully express their opinions. And make sure your home is a safe place to confess sin.
Lead by example. Apologize when necessary. Ask forgiveness when you sin. And always be ready to grant forgiveness when sinned against. Then be thankful. Thank God that your children are willing to help you grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ.

Thankfully, our kids don't need perfect parents. They have a perfect Father in heaven, and they have a perfect Savior in Jesus.
What our children need us to be is faithful, humble, repentant parents who love them as our heavenly Father loves us. May our homes be safe places for our children to grow and even to fail. May our homes be welcoming and loving, so that our children want to be there and even bring their friends. And may we lead our children by example and instruct them from God's Word, that God would save them and cause them to grow up in the Lord to be godly.

Faithful parenting engages us in a spiritual battle for the hearts of our children that must be undergirded by faith-fueled prayer.

parenting is a spiritual war for the hearts of our children.

Ephesians 6:10-17
We stand firm against the devil's schemes first by standing on the truth of the gospel (6:14a).

Second, we stand firm against the devil's schemes by walking in righteousness (v. 14b), which Paul pictures as a breastplate. The breastplate protects the chest and heart. Walking in righteousness protects us from Satan's schemes, the world's influences, and the temptations of our own flesh.

Third, we stand firm against the devil's schemes by proclaiming the gospel (v. 15).

Fourth, we stand firm against the devil's schemes by protecting ourselves with the shield of faith (v. 16). The fight against sin and temptation is a fight of faith. Satan bombards us with arrows and missiles to get us to doubt God—particularly to doubt God's sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness—and to doubt ourselves— our faith, our parenting, and our motives. Faith in God and his promises protects us from Satan's attacks. When we believe Jesus-his Word, his promises, his warnings—the devil's arrows will have no effect. We will stand firm against Satan.

Fifth, we stand firm against the devil's schemes by remembering our salvation (v. 17a), which Paul calls a helmet.

Sixth, we stand firm against the devil's schemes as we use Scripture against him (v. 17b).

You see, to put on the armor of God is another way of saying we are to put on Christ (Romans 13:11-14).

it's still hard at times, but that's why it’s called a spiritual discipline. I often have to reorient my thinking and remind myself that being in God's Word is better than_________. You have to fill in the blank for yourself.

There is no shortcut to personal holiness.

This is our aim—to know him that we may become like him.

Scottish pastor Robert Murray M'Cheyne (1813-1843) is known to have said, "My реоple's greatest need is my personal holiness."

Our children's greatest need is our personal holiness.

The topics for these family meetings varied, but one question was asked regularly: "Do you feel that Mom and Dad are your greatest cheerleaders or your greatest critics?"

encourage them to identify their sin by naming it and pointing them to Christ, who is their only hope and strength.

sometime: ask your children to guess what you love most. What do you think they will say? Your favorite food? Sports team? Your spouse? Or, would they say, you love God above all else? Something or someone will become first and foremost in your children's life—what will that be? What kind of picture of God are you painting for your children?

So the church is where Christians grow in Christlikeness. The church is where we learn to live as brothers and sisters in Christ. The church is where God displays the wisdom of all he is and has done for us in Christ.

To the biblical foundation we add positive instruction.

Since younger children will likely be unbelievers, their greatest need is a new heart that empowers obedience (Ezekiel 36:26-27). This reality should humble and encourage us. It humbles us because we cannot change our children's hearts. It encourages us because God can. This realicy should also warn and correct us. It warns us to not be satisfied with mere obedience. Our ultimate goal is love for Christ. It corrects us from having burdensome expectations of our children and reminds us to be filled with grace.

the reason we must maintain a biblical standard, even if they will fail at it, is to point them to Jesus who has met it on our behalf. Our children's failure to meet God's standard reveals their need for Jesus.

Remember that faithful parenting is about taking thousands of daily steps of faithfulness. It's not about heroics. It's about taking advantage of the everyday.

Discipleship requires intentionality, and it requires relationship.

Proverbs 20:3 tells us that "honor belongs to the person who ends a dispute, but any fool can get himself into a quarrel." If your children are arguing, pull out this verse and ask, "Are you worthy of honor here, or are you being foolish?"

Each moment of disobedience and struggle in your children's lives is a teaching moment, not an inconvenience. It's an opportunity to point them to Christ, who is kind and gracious, who restores us when we confess our sin, when we repent, and when we humble ourselves. We need to ask ourselves, "How can this discipline experience help lead my children closer to Jesus?" We can show them how we want to walk alongside them and help them submit to Christ.

There is a myth that it's enough for parents if they spend quality time with their children. I say it's a myth because what people fail to realize is that quality time flows out of quantity time. In other words, it is in spending time together and talking to one another about even little things that we find those meaningful moments that mark us for the rest of our lives. So talk with your children. Cultivate an environment where it is safe to talk about anything! This is key. You want your children, especially during the older years, to feel free to come and speak with you, rather than their peers.


our teens should know and understand the gospel. What they need is to know how to apply it to themselves in every situation.

One of the reasons we don't get to heart issues is because we tend to rush to resolve the conflict.

That's what we're trying to do: shepherd them to apply the wisdom of God's Word to all of life in order to walk on the path that leads to life.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book for Christian parents who seek encouragement and advice on their parenting journey as they raise their children to know Jesus. Each chapter starts with an overarching principle, which incorporates a biblical framework and suggestions on how it might look, without being too prescriptive. There is a strong encouragement to pray, be a godly example and set biblical parenting goals. Later chapters explore the different stages of parenting children aged 0-5, 6-12, and 13+. These are helpful, practical, and detailed, with the encouragement that laying a strong foundation early makes a massive difference later. I appreciated their positivity about how enjoyable the teen years can be.

The chapter on discipline is structured around three principles: prioritise positive instruction, shepherd their hearts, and practice corrective discipline. Corrective discipline is broken down into gentle exhortation, gentle rebuke, and chastisement. One concern is their use of chastisement as an all-encompassing term for punishment, which while defined broadly and with numerous caveats, clearly includes spanking. It’s confusing, but more so, spanking is contentious (rightly so) and rarely achieves its stated goals.

However, overall, this book has many helpful encouragements and suggestions for Christian parents.

See more detailed review at: https://musingsinadelaide.blogspot.co...

[Joshua Chatman · Rating 5 out of 5]

🔥🔥🔥

This book is exceptional. Juan and Jeanine give a biblical vision for parenting and a practical strategy. They discuss important topics, emphasizing targeting the heart and pointing our children to Christ and his gospel. They encourage us to parent our children with eternity in mind, laboring for them to know, treasure, and be transformed by Christ through the gospel.

This book blessed me. It’s biblically insightful and practical. The more I read it, the more I was encouraged by their example and instruction, and the more I was equipped to be a faithful parent to my children.

This is my favorite parenting book. I plan to give it to church members and discuss it with other dads I pastor.

[Conrad Mills · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reaching Your Child's Heart is an extremely helpful book that is well written. This book is a biblical, theological, and practical guide to faithful parenting. As a soon to be parent, I don't know what I don't know and this work laid a great foundation for what parenting is, and its goal. On page 34, the authors rightly state that as parents, "Our task is to teach them God's standard, show them God's patience with sinners, and pray God would save them." I plan to return to this book time and time again throughout my journey as a parent and heartily commend it to other parents, regardless of the stage that they find themselves in.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was great in that the authors were clearly pulling from their own experience as parents. Every piece of advice was clearly thought out and tested with Scripture, and practiced often with their children. I was not able to only learn ideas about Godly discipline and family discipleship, but the examples and practical tidbits of advice make it possible for me to practice the knowledge I gained in my own home. The questions at the end of each chapter also helped my husband and I reflect on our parenting and get on the same page.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book lays a great theological foundation for Christian parenting, without forgetting all the practical help us parents are always looking for! I love how the Sanchez's come alongside other parents, humbly sharing their own mistakes, while providing invaluable insight from their years of experience and walk with Christ. The biblical principles they lay out are not simply for behavior modification but real heart change. This book is saturated in gospel truth and is an encouragement to all parents, no matter what season you're in!

[Becca Tillotson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, Gospel-centered, immensely practical and heartening. There are a number of Christian parenting books that have become popular lately but have given me pause for one reason or another (whether because of theological issues, or not a good fit for our specific family in their practical suggestions, or just an off vibe), but this one is sound through and through. Keeping it on my bedside table to reference frequently.

[Misty Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for all parents, grandparents, and teachers! It doesn't matter which stage of parenting you are currently in, this book will help you shepherd your child's heart. It has wonderful stories, parenting principles, and discussion questions to help you move toward reaching your child's heart. I was moved by the motivation to make necessary changes in my parenting practices.

[Kirsten · Rating 5 out of 5]

it took me a long time to read. I did really like it. definitely very theologically sound. but I can also tell you that I am very different from the authors. and that is okay. good parents come in all sorts of flavors. there is a lot of wisdom throughout. I'm glad I read it and that I own it to read it again in the future.

[Parker Goforth · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the authors don’t reinvent the wheel, this book is a clearly-written phenomenal approach to biblical parenting. Alongside a great foundation, the final chapters present practical application for varied ages, making it a great resource.

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

This would be my current go-to parenting book. I'll teach a class following much of it this Spring. They include three age-specific chapters at the end, which are very practical.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty basic nuts and bolts parenting stuff! Great content but a bit repetitive at times. Probably would hit a bit closer to home if I was actually a parent haha

[Ben Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Christian and as a pastor, I find that I'm often discouraged in my efforts to raise my children to know and worship God. My goal is to raise them to be worshippers of God in Christ, insofar as it depends upon me. Yet, it's another kind of difficult to not know how to do this!

But this book offers practical help and biblical hope for raising godly offspring! I have found this book particularly unique in its biblical-theological approach to the topic. I was challenged by the personal emphasis on being an example of faith to your children.

I pray this book would be widely read, and that it might be a benefit particularly to you as you consider its truths!