My Spouse Was Unfaithful: Finding Strength in God's Presence

Ask the Christian Counselor

by Robert D. Jones

Counselor and pastor Robert D. Jones shares wise and biblical next steps in the aftermath of infidelity. How should you respond to the devastating disappointments that adultery and other forms of betrayal have brought into your marriage? It’s natural to feel a wide range of emotions, including anger, confusion, grief, sadness, jealousy, anxiety, embarrassment, and regret. The consequences of your spouse’s sin cast wide effects on your relationship, family, and future. Counselor Robert D. Jones has walked with many couples in your situation and provides ten steps for moving forward from this betrayal with God-given hope. My Spouse Was Unfaithful provides biblical principles for handling this betrayal and confronting your spouse, and it offers a guide for working through a potential repentance and restoration process. While God doesn’t promise restoration with your spouse, he does promise to be with you and help you—whether your spouse chooses to repent or not. God can use this experience to draw you closer to him and bring greater good to your life.

Genres: Counselling

96 pages, Paperback

Published September 14, 2025

About the author

Robert D. Jones' great great grandparents crossed the plains in a covered wagon on the Immigrant Trail. Coming from pioneer stock, as they say, he was born in Roosevelt, Utah, a town in dispute as Indian ground. At thirteen, his father put him on a bus for a 400 mile journey to work on a cattle ranch for the summer. Working horseback in the shadow of an Indian burial ground near the Medicine Lodge River, the romance and saga of the West was etched into his mind never to leave.

Reviews

[Asher Allen]

This book wasn't quite what I had hoped it would be. It was good overall, and I trust it has helped others, but it didn't go to the places I personally needed. Maybe if the author had been speaking from personal experience of adultery, the book would have resonated more with me. A doctor is certainly still qualified to treat a GSW even if he's never been shot, but he can't truly say, "I know what you're going through. I've felt that pain."
I don't know. Perhaps there is simply nothing that can be said or done to heal certain wounds this side of eternity.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short but helpful book- written for both for a helpers and sufferers. This is a solid Biblical foundation and road map- and the kind of resource I think pastors should have on their shelf.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is aimed at Christians, who wants to process a spouse’s infidelity in light of God’s word and with a biblical framework, including forgiveness and repentance. He calls us to God given hope, to identify the hardships, pain and temptations faced, and to draw closer to God in the pain. He then explores 10 responses: categorised under responding to God, how to view and treat your spouse, and how to respond to your spouses’ decisions (including how to think about separation and divorce). While all biblical and sound advice, the briefness of the book probably did not really engage fully with the enormity of this task. Some advice seemed to hinge on the spouse’s response, which could be seen as taking away some of the agency of the wronged party. Overall, Jones explores the need for grace, mercy, repentance and forgiveness after adultery - not just between partners, but also with God and with ourselves, with the overall goal being maturity in Christ, whatever happens with the marriage.

For a more detailed review see: https://musingsinadelaide.blogspot.co...

[Kaitlyn Pindak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though this book is not directly applicable to me at the point in my life, I was so encouraged by the compassionate and gentle tone and clear and kind presentation of truth in practical help for those who may be going through such a difficult hardship!

One of the books I enjoyed more for this course. Easy to read, pastoral, and practical. Loved this book.

1st read: 3/17-19/24 for course 35100 - Marriage and Family Counseling

5/5 🌟

[JT Goodart · Rating 4 out of 5]

An extremely concise and helpful book walking through how to counsel and deal with adultery. Very practical and useful. Something I will repeatedly return to in my counseling! (Also, not something I read out of personal need, I just read it for my counseling class lol)

[Tanya Flores · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for couples suffering from adultery or other threatening sins to end marriage or lose hope. Lots of practical application and great questions at the end of the chapters.

[Daniel Pandolph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal counseling resource I use for those who have suffered from an affair. Very good.

[Andrew Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Didn't need this book personally ha, but Jones gives 10 steps for spouses walking through this situation. It is practical, accessible and pastoral.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biblical, practical, clear, compassionate counsel.