Persuasion: A New Approach to Changing Minds

by Arlene Dickinson

At thirty, Arlene Dickinson found herself stranded. Recently divorced, she had a high school diploma, no savings and no clue how she was going to feed four young children. But just one year later, she was a partner in Venture Communications. Ten years on, she was CEO, poised to grow the business into one of Canada’s largest independently owned marketing firms. Today, as a co-star of the CBC TV hit Dragons’ Den, she is one of the country’s most sought-after female entrepreneurs. The secret of her journey from poverty to the corner office? The art of persuasion, as she explains with wit and unusual candour in this, her first book.

Blending her own frank and highly entertaining stories with compelling social science, she explains how to persuade both in the boardroom and in everyday life: the crucial importance of a particular kind of listening; how to get people to buy into your ideas; how to attract followers and deal with naysayers; the art of storytelling; how to turn mistakes to your advantage; and how to seize opportunities where others see only roadblocks. Anyone, she believes, can be persuasive—just look how good we are at persuading ourselves we can’t do things. Using the tricks of her trade and insights from her own fascinating experiences with some of Canada’s leading companies, Dickinson explains how to master the art of persuasion, without an M.B.A., to achieve maximum success in business—and in life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Psychology, Biography, Canada, Self Help, Leadership

320 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2011

Reviews

[Kendra Kleiner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the content of this book rather dry and repetitive. When Arlene did tell personal stories they were vague and impersonal in order to protect the privacy of her clients. This is of course understandable but not very engaging. I also found she used similar stories and phrasing repeatedly throughout the book. This could have been a stylist choice as marketers know that repeating a message makes it more likely to stick. I would have found this book more effective if it had been 100 pages shorter.

Five things I learned from reading this book:

1) Understand how success looks to you and then work towards that vision.
2) Engaging in principled persuasion means being: authentic, honest, and looking for a win-win situation.
3) listening is the key to understanding and ultimately persuading.
4) The most important person you have to persuade is yourself. Believing in your self is key to success.
5) Don't over promise so you can perform to expectations when success comes your way.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always enjoyed Arlene on Dragons' Den, how successful she is in business while often making her morals a deciding factor on whether or not to invest in a company.
Her story intrigued me, how she managed to become a successful CEO despite no formal education. This is what led me to give Persuasion a shot, expecting it to be a biography of how she got to where she is.

Persuasion ended up being completely different from what I had expected. Though I would love to learn more about her career life, Persuasion ended up being one of the best books I have ever read. It was empowering, informative and impossible to put down. Persuasion is not just relevant to marketing; it discusses social skills that are relevant in many of our day-to-day interactions.

She emphasizes being self-aware; knowing your morals and sticking to them. How persuasion should be a win-win, not a dirty sales tactic. Her business advice, encouraging authenticity and never promising more than you can deliver, is the opposite of what I've often heard and quite refreshing to read.

Persuasion is a book that I'll no doubt read again.

[Sadie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mosy important thing I learnt from this book is that it doesn't matter where you are, and what you have, if you want to become something you dream of, you can ALWAYS achieve it. It's good to know that authenticity and integrity are still appreciated in the vusiness world. Unlike what I expected, this book doesn't make you a better business person, but it does make you a better human. I love this woman.❤️

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, and I learned aspects of persuasion, business, and working with people. I learned the difference between good persuasion and bad persuasion (coercion). What to do in business for long term benefits instead of short term. How to be a good leader. Arlene teaches to get into the mind of someone else and see what they really want, even if they can't communicate it, and listen, more than talk. I didn't like that she had a negative connotation to billionaires though, which I talk about at the end of the review.

Arlene has an interesting back story, had 4 kids by 27, broke, divorced at 31 and she had to prove to the court that she could support her kids and that was her whole motivation.

Some notes I took in the book:

Bedrock of principled persuasion:
Authenticity, honesty, reciprocity

Persuaders seek collaboration, not domination - they want partners, not followers.

You need to create an emotional connection, a relationship. They'll choose you if they feel they are most comfortable with you. Being able to feel vulnerable with someone. It's about understanding and feeling understood.

Email, text, etc are not good for connecting.

"If you don't fully understand what you're signing on for and someone is insisting you don't even need to know; it's not principled persuasion. It's coercion."

"You should always be privy to the process and know what's going on when you have a stake in the outcome."

If the person you're having a conversation with makes you feel stupid it might not be about your intelligence it might be they're trying to intimidate or scare you off.

Don't let someone guilt trip you into doing something, do it because you really want to do it.

Don't assume your friends and family will do pro bono work for you, especially if they're plumbers or electricians etc you could get a discount though.

"I have never made a deal where I got something for nothing... and I have never bought into something that went from zero to 100 overnight... it takes effort and strong values to build a solid company, and it doesn't happen in a day."

"Greed and desperation are the enemies of principled persuasion because when you want or need something too much, it can cloud your judgement."

"The more comfortable you are, the less urgency there is to change your situation. And the more time you have to second-guessing yourself and imagining every possible catastrophe, the harder it becomes to take action."

Dot get paralysed by indecision, just pick one and if it turns out to be a mistake go with plan B.
"If you wait until you're 100% sure you may miss the chance. And if you wait until success is guaranteed, you most definitely will be waiting forever."

"Whether the meeting is one-on-one or not, one of the most effective ways to get people re-engaged is to stop your monologue and try to create a dialogue."

"Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Blaise Pascal

I like how she talks about entrepreneurship and persuasion but she really gets in mot corporate life and corporate structure and responsibility that I don't think entrepreneurs need a ton of advice on.

"This is, by the way, why I'll never be a billionaire. To be a billionaire, I think you probably just may have to view all dollars as being created equal." - I feel this statement has a very negative connotation to billionaires. First, she truly believes that her values and what she does in business is the right thing because she backs her decisions up with reasoning. The fact she says she won't ever be a billionaire means that you have to do some wrong to get ahead, which seems envious/jealous and untrue. The fact she says "probably" and "just maybe" means she was hesitant to say this statement but it's what she really feels but she's scared to say it.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book! Basically, a book on being a better person, finding your selfworth and learning how to better to deal with people, especially difficult ones. Great confidence builder!

[Tamera · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. I don’t read a lot of nonfiction so it could be that but this book was constantly repeating itself to the point where reading it felt like a chore.

[Teena in Toronto · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like "Dragons' Den" and I like reading bios and books about how to improve oneself ... this book had it all.

I could definitely hear Arlene's voice in this book. The focus is about persuading people to do what you want, whether that is in a business setting or in your personal life. Not surprising, because it is Arlene's voice, it's not a hard sell.

To her, the basis of persuasion is made up of authenticity, honesty and reciprocity. If you don't believe in yourself, how can you persuade others to believe in you?

Then there is the practical part ... being prepared and confident that you know what you are talking about.

Finally, whether you win or lose, you should analyze what worked well and what didn't.

Interspersed through the book are Arlene's stories and experiences, from both painful personal standpoint and business one.

It isn't a powerful dynamic book but I enjoyed it.

Blog review: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2012/02...

[Jyoti · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was never impressed or a followers of the Dragon's Den (or Shark Tank for the US folks) but Arlene Dickinson impressed me. I was so happy this book was suggested to me. The way the author breaks up the book from an insightful inner look at self confidence to approach and communication to acknowledging the after process, is brilliant. I found the author did a wonderful job of balancing the personal stories but always keeping the focus on the message. And the message was short and direct. I wish i read this in my youth and kept it as a guide throughout my years for what I am worth and how to better communicate my value.

[Baker Baha · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most inspiring books I have read. Arlene has introduced the concept of ethical persuasion and how to apply it in aspects of your life to reach new heights. I really like the fact that the book stresses out the value of betterment of yourself in order to persuade others; using authenticity and honestly as a tool self persuasion first and others around you.

[Carola Burkard Singer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great perspectives. Very smart lady. No nonsense

[Cait · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

[Jennifer Sims · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed it but not as much as I hoped.
Found a bit redundant in a lot of ways

[Daniëlle Poppe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Arlene and this book is no different!!

[Arianne Bergeron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I decided to read this book to learn more about a Dragon's life. I wished there was more personnal /professional stories, but still enjoyed journey.

[Yasir · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good anecdotes but many pages are full of repetitive things.

[Mya · Rating 1 out of 5]

I purchased this book because I saw Arlene Dickinson as an inspiration for many Canadian business owners, both men and women, and wanted to gain a better understanding of her hardships and obstacles she overcame to become an accomplished, respectable, business owner. With that being said, this book was a huge disappointment and failed on these above deliverables. The book left out many names, which at first I thought was for privacy purposes (which 100% acceptable), but as I got further into the book I started to think that these lack of names was possibly due the fact that she knew she was being insulting but did not want to blatantly appear so by actually stating their names. There are a few occasions when she does negatively slur her fellow Dragon, Kevin O'Leary, and I considered it distasteful and offensive. Some of you may be thinking "But its Kevin O'Leary! He is a brute", but nowhere in his book does he insult Arlene (in fact he compliments her in this book Cold Hard Truth: On Business, Money & Life). Persuasion left me feeling utterly unsatisfied and the only thing that made it worse was that not only did I purchase the book but I was also given another copy as a Christmas present -- a book I already read and a book that I disliked.

[Maggie Langrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This could have been just a business memoir from a television personality cashing in on her fifteen minutes of fame. And indeed, the book contains many amusing and illustrative anecdotes from Arlene Dickinson's career and also her personal life.

She tells the story of her journey from young housewife with no self-esteem to single mother of four working crappy jobs to makes ends meet, to her ambitious rise up the corporate ladder to become CEO of a major marketing firm and star of the television show Dragon's Den, laying bare the mistakes she made and lessons learned along the way. It's an inspiring read, and Dickinson's warm, conversational tone is easy to engage with.

But the book's real strength is that every one of these personal vignettes is applied in service to a very cohesive broader concept: the power of ethical persuasion, how it works, and how you can use it in your life and in your business. Persuasion, Dickinson argues, is not about hoodwinking the person you are trying to persuade, but about really listening to what motivates them, being honest and authentic about what you can do for them, and always, always operating with integrity, upon which your credibility is built.

Dickinson comes across as funny, warm and real; both humble and strong. With the compassionate wisdom of a big sister, she encourages us to use these principles to persuade ourselves of our own self-worth and abilities, and to aim for - and achieve - our hearts' desires, both in business and in life.

It's a very persuasive proposition.

[Christopher Lewis Kozoriz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mistakes, failures, adversity-they're all wonderful teachers, so long as you focus on the lessons to be learned than the disappointment to be experienced. ~ Arlene Dickinson (Persuasion, page. 233)

This book has some valuable lessons in it. Arlene tackled the subject of persuasion throughout this book and there were many other subjects covered, such as: fear of failure, fear of criticism, perseverance, tenacity...

The one thing that caught me off guard was near the end of her book she mentioned that she did not have a life-long plan. She kind of goes with the flow. This is strange to me because most super-achievers that I have studied almost all had a plan. She makes the point that you don't know what to expect in life, so how can you plan for those things. The question is cannot you plan for failures, obstacles, setbacks? The answer is an unequivocal, yes! Yes, you can!. I agree with her that you cannot plan every obstacle or setback, but you can plan for some and have creative alternatives ready when they are required. So, that is the only thing I did not find that I agreed with her.

The one thing I like most about Arlene in her book is how she handles relationships with people. She has a lot of knowledge of what to do in conflict and in relationships in general. She even shares some strategies on how to be promoted in the corporate environment, without destroying your reputation.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I managed to find a copy of Persuasion at my local library, although, I'm going to have to find the cash to buy it--I know I'll be re-reading it any time I'm faced with difficult decisions or uncertainty in my career or even personal life.

Maybe saying that this book has been a pretty life changing read might sound like an overstatement, but it's not far from the truth.
I can really identify with Arlene Dickinson's story, and I find my self nodding along the whole time I'm reading. Her story is very relatable, and her advice is truly accessible to anyone that's felt the ugly head of insecurity rear its head in the workplace, or in everyday life. The section "So, What's standing in your way?" has been more encouraging than any self help or business book I've ever read.

I literally can't put this one down!

[Ginger Hallett · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started reading this book, selected for me by the bookmobile staffer, out of curiosity, not expecting to like it well enough to finish it. It was fairly padded with white space and repetition, so I put it down and moved on to other books. A day or so before the bookmobile was to return I picked it up again and found that it became more interesting and finally, encouraging on a personal level. Aimed at prospective and struggling entrepreneurs, the encouragement she imparts serves the rest of us, too. She has an easy to read style of writing and, despite my initial impression gleaned from the first several chapters, something useful to say. I'm glad that I finished the book. Afterward I watched an episode of Dragon's Den just to hear her and see if the persona on the show matches the one she portrays in the book. It does.

[Alex Sallas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Five things I learned from reading:

- "Gut instincts are frequently very reliable guides in life."
- "The key is to say no in a way that shows the other person you've heard and really considered their point of view."
- "What if this phone call is being taped - would I be embarrassed if others listened to my side of it?"
- Authenticity is telling the truth to yourself, honesty is telling the truth to others, and honesty sets the stage for reciprocity-- constructing your propositions to show that there is something in it for both you and the other party.
- "Is it just a paycheque or somewhere I really want to go every day? If the former, then I hope you are brave enough to quit."

Not much personality in the writing and many of the book's tips are obvious. Still, it's an enjoyable read.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though I enjoyed reading about Arlene's personal road to success, this book had few meaningful or unique lessons. Additionally, often it was somewhat dry and repetitive. I found that this book read more as a self-help book, rather than illustrating lessons regarding persuasion. Granted, my expectations may have been too high (clearly, there is no "hidden formula" to persuasion), I still was hoping to walk away with a few key learnings that I hadn't considered before. Instead, the key lessons I gathered were:

1. Persuading yourself is a critical first step to persuading someone else
2. Persuasion requires an understanding of the other party's perspective, including their motivations and needs
3. Follow your gut, be honest and truthful to personal ethics throughout the persuasion process

Non-revolutionary and common sense! Though I suppose serves as a good reminder :)

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book because it made me think about the business decisions and interactions in my past. Whether it was a success or a failure to persuade this book made me take stock and appreciate either a win or a lose and learn from past decisions. I appreciated the anecdotes in the book while valuing Arlene's ability to keep big names out of the context. In my reading I also saw that as a manager I gave in to poor persuasive arguments by my staff and gave in far too easily. Doing so made me feel uncomfortable. Reading the perspective from a successful manager and business woman made me realize where I went wrong and forced me to learn from past behaviour. Now I can take what I have learned here and use it in future "pitches". A great read overall.

[Amanda McGill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard Arlene Dickinson speak at a work event a few weeks ago and found her to be very engaging and inspirational. Unfortunately her novel didn't live up to my high expectations.
Arlene Dickinson mixes her novel with both personal and work experiences as well as tips on persuasion. Even though the tips were for marketing, I found it easy to relate it back to my own work experiences.
My problem with the novel is that the tips were pretty straight-forward and I didn't learn anything new. As well, most of the personal stories were the exact same ones that I heard a few weeks ago. I would strongly suggest for everyone to go and see Arlene Dickinson speak. Her stories came off a lot better in person then in writing.

[Becky Davison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was better than I expected. I enjoy Arlene on Dragon's Den, she brings a lot to the show but I often find business books written by people who aren't, well, writers to be lacking at times. Arlene does not disappoint! She is honest, clear and tells a great story.

Her anecdotes on picking herself up and finding a job, then a career and growing her company, Venture to where it is today was a positive read with some very useful lessons. I highly recommend reading this book...whether you're looking to grow your career, venture out on your own or need to make a positive shift in your life, this is worth the investment.

[Sapandeep Randhawa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author shares the secret of persuasion with many personal examples. In many ways, her examples were relatable to me.
She talks about principled persuasion (honesty, authenticity, reciprocity), obstacles for persuasion, process of persuasion and what we need to do after persuasion.
I find the book to be very useful in many situations such as job interviews, asking for a raise or promotion, convincing your parents or child of doing something.
I think Arlene could have improved on certain examples she gave that could have been more detailed rather than superficial.
I would recommend this book to everyone. Rating: 4/5

[Lee-Ann Sleegers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished reading this book and enjoyed it. Persuasion is billed as a biography however I found it to be a cross between a non-fiction business book and biography. Arlene does a wonderful job at getting her point across without making the subject seem boring. It was a result of reading Persuasion that cemented my resolve to say no about some fund-raising initiative at my daughter's school. Definitely not a how to book, but worth the read if you want to be more convincing in your interactions with others.

[Girl Guides of Canada · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excerpt from one of our Girl Guides book club reviewers:

"When I initially received Persuasion by Arlene Dickinson to review I thought, oh, how fortuitous, I work in Marketing, the first book I get to review is written about the art of persuasion. But, Dickinson describes how becoming a good persuader is relevant to everyone. “It’s a social skill that’s useful in all kinds of situations where you need to persuade people to give you a chance, help you out and see the world your way.”" -- Theresa

http://girlguidescanblog.ca/2011/12/0...

[L · Rating 3 out of 5]

Practical and motivational, Arlene chronicles her life from single mother, broke and beaten down to the marketing exec of Venture and host of Dragon's Den. The early portions were fairly good but I found the latter to be a bit generic in the advice and failed to resonate with me.

I do like the end quote.

"It's never too late to change your life. But the hardest person to sell on the idea of your potential is almost always yourself. Which is why all persuasion starts with you. Before you can persuade someone else to do anything, you need to persuade yourself of your potential."

[Jean Oram · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read by Canadian marketing guru, Arlene Dickinson. While weaving her own stories as examples on how to persuade others she teaches you things that make a lot of sense and are sure to stick. Of course it is important to find out what the other person needs and to listen to them when you are trying to persuade them to do business with you. It seems so obvious now!

A very readable book on marketing, life, and more.