Love for Imperfect Things / The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down

by Haemin Sunim

Please Note That The Following Individual Books As Per Original ISBN and Cover Image In this Listing shall be Dispatched Collectively:

Love for Imperfect Things [Hardcover], The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down 2 Books Collection Set By Haemin Sunim:

Love for Imperfect Things:
In this beautiful follow-up to his international bestseller The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim turns his trademark wisdom and kindness to self-care, arguing that only by accepting yourself - and the flaws which make you who you are - can you have compassionate and fulfilling relationships with your partner, family and friends.

The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down:
The world moves fast, but that doesn't mean we have to. In this timely guide to mindfulness, Haemin Sunim, a Buddhist monk born in Korea and educated in the United States, offers advice on everything from handling setbacks to dealing with rest and relationships, in a beautiful book combining his teachings with calming full-colour illustrations. Haemin Sunim's simple messages - which he first wrote when he responded to requests for advice on social media - speak directly to the anxieties that have become part of modern life and remind us of the strength and joy that come from slowing down.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Philosophy, Poetry, Psychology, Zen, Buddhism

Hardcover

About the author

Zen Buddhist teacher & bestselling author.

Born in South Korea and educated at Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton, he received formal monastic training from Haein monastery, in South Korea. He taught Asian religions at Hampshire College in Massachusetts for seven years.

He is one of the most influential Zen monks in the world. His first book, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down has been translated into more than 35 languages and sold over four million copies.

His second book, Love for Imperfect Things was the number one bestseller of 2016 in South Korea and became available in multiple languages in 2019. Haemin resides in Seoul when not traveling to share his teachings.

Source: haeminsunim.com

Reviews

[Delicia Delicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dari bab pertama udah ditampar abis-abisan sampe nangis hahahahaha seru ternyata selama ini bukan orang lain yang nyusahin diri sendiri, tp diri sendiri aja yang emang suka nyusahin

[Robs · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book made for meditation and self-reflection, it is better read slowly to digest every passage. It also contains countless gems of wisdom to be read over and over - the book already has its own place at my bedside table and I am sure I will continue to revisit to read my favorite verses.

One of my huge takeaways from the book is this: Being present is as much a state of mind as it is a physical state. To quote the American poet and writer Ron Rash, "Nothing is but what is now" --- truly, there are certain memories that may still cause us pain but these thoughts subside when we focus on the present. Memories are after all, in essence, just thoughts. You don't have to get rid of them. Witness and observe; a thought disappears as quickly and easily as it emerges.

The same can also be said about our future, which seems bleak more than ever. So we must take a moment to slow down, in turn will help us see our relationships, thoughts, and pain clearly. Rely on the soft pauses as they offer us a chance to show kindness and compassion in this world full of scary things. While you are at it, punctuate your days with care, always.

[Adrian Jie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book to read. Motivating and the short quote help to make the book interesting. Life is imperfect, but imperfection made the the life perfect.

[Deniz Gorencan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book I wish I had read when I was 15…

[Janice · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started reading this at a difficult time and this book helped me. I wouldn’t say it is filled with extraordinary enlightenment, but that is the best part of it. There are some simple yet powerful truth which we all know deep down inside, but it is so easy to loose our connection with those when we wound up in our busy life. This book was a gentle reminder to those truths for me. A small book, but I took my time reading and thinking about the lines. Will definitely read again and again. And also will recommend to anyone who is distressed with anything in their life right now.

[Honeypie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of what's in the book is nothing that I don't already know (yehes, ang daming alam...), but still there were new learnings and realisations.

The book was aesthetically published, and so it feels very easy to read it. I love the artworks. Really nicely drawn and depicted, depending on the topic for that chapter.

----

If as a child you were indifferent to your own feelings, minimizing them or not considering them important, as an adult you will not be able to tell what it is you yourself want to do, or who you are as a person. And then when you encounter someone who treats you unfairly or makes things difficult for you, since you do not know how to properly express your own feelings, the anger that ought to be directed towards its instigator is trapped inside you and ends up attacking you instead.

[younha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I understand I kinda read this book a while ago but I want to write a mini review on it, its mostly full of important quotes and explanations regarding the title, it’s a rlly good read and I recommend it if you would like to perhaps slow back down and rethink the things that you are doing or even just taking a break from your brain, if you enjoy learning lessons orr learning different quotes, I highly recommend this book, it may not be for everyone but I personally think that it’s a beautiful read 😊

[Nopadol Rompho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. It gives you very good idea and guidance how to live our lives fully.

[Zahraa Noor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book slowly in the course of 2 years because I'd open it when I was feeling a certain way and to enjoy it for what it is. So beautifully written and it delivered a lot of warmth and comfort.

[Arjen Koomen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting short book with solid advice from the buddhist teachings of the author. It compromises life advice on love, purpose, relationships and success, providing a short intro into the teachings, followed by a set of Sun Tzu-like short sentences with wisdom.

[Lien Nguyen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful and relaxing reading. Remind me of other values in life besides try to get something out from rat race

[Yanet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book is like having deep convo with your closest friend.

[Sruthi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well , a much needed book on a very bad day / days
It just makes better , you will start thinking in different way !!
I can say this book is a therapy !!

[eloizawrld · Rating 3 out of 5]

ok naman nakakainis lang putol putol na sentences na naka new line every 5 words of smth 😭 nice graphics tho

[Elisabeth Anastasia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really love all the words. This book perfectly describes the feeling and has beautiful meanings. Surely one of my recommended books so far.

[Jacinta · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the epitome of beauty it really helps me to learn and see things from other perspectives and get me out of my selfishness in a way to see life.

the way he crafted his sentences is very beautiful and easy to understand. plus it has pretty illustrations for brownie points so all good!

[Siti Rahayu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the short quote on life, humanities, love, emotion and many more. This book give you new perspective in life and to shift your mindset in life. We always have life perspective that being embedded based on our culture, experience and growing up. This may give you new lights in your life. Highly recommended light and interesting books.

[Naya · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took a lot of courage to finally decide to read this book. Being brave, fast, detailed, & decisive are my characters, however being calm is like jumping out of the comfort zone that I have built all this time.

I'm a fast reader. I used to read 2-3 books before going to bed every night. Ironically, when reading the first few pages of this book, the author advises not to finish this book immediately in one sitting, & better to take time slowly by reading 2-3 pages every day. Following the author's way, I finally finished reading this book in 2 months. It's a new record for the longest time I've read a book. I read it everytime I need it, especially whenever I feel negative thoughts feed my mind or whenever I'm stressed or restless.

This book is a healing book for my emotionless world. My healing theraphy of slowing down my pace, accepting my feelings, remaking & mending my broken pieces I had before.

This book is one of my favorite books that I can self-reflect on & spend free time reading. It makes me think about my actions - about my emotions reveals. Enjoying every emotions deep down my heart after neglecting it all.

Unlike other motivational books or healing-therapy books, this book also tells the perspective of an 'ordinary human' author who is a monk. Like a friend, this book is a comforting friend, listens to you without interrupting, & remains objective as it is.

Please try to read this book!

[Darren Kikyanto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love for Imperfect Things

I'm putting down this book with a heavy heart. This book literally touched my heart. It motivates me in a way no book has ever had. It opens up a whole new perspective about acceptance and freedom, about being content in a society that always craves for more. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

The more you wish for something to go away, to longer it will stay around to bother you. Instead of chasing away your fears or running away from it, embrace it, accept your flaws and observe gently. Without knowing, it will be gone just like that.

Learn to love without expectations and conditions, to accept and observe things without judgement, to live and savor the present moment, to have a still mind with no thought and the completely surrender yourself. Those are the steps to an englightened mind. Be the lighthouse you've always wanted someone to be. Stop relying on external factors to fix you. Mindfulness, happiness, peace and serenity must come from within. Inside of you dwells an energy that one can take from you, not even death.

May we all stay mindful and grateful in this desperate time. Don't worry too much and remember that the greatest storms have the brightest rainbows and even the greatest storms will run out of rain and come to a halt.

[Aisha Tahar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love it. Very morivating!

[Ardina Alth Mora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Befriend Your Emotions___
If you want revenge because your feeling are hurt, all you can see your own suffering. But if you calm yourself and look more deeply, you will see that person who hurt you are suffering, too.

[Steven Bakewell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really got a lot from this book, and am now starting to put some of the readings into action. This book was a help for me when I needed it!

[Fathurohmah Amin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bagus. Mindfulness. Manusia nggak ada yang sempurna, buku ini kasih tips bagaimana menerima segala kekurangan, fokus pada hal yang kita punya dan lebih bersyukur

[Victoria Grennan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really beautiful book that allows for self reflection. It’s so relaxing it’s almost meditative.

[Cheyenne Schwarz · Rating 4 out of 5]

In general it can "help" you, with a lot of things( to start thinking about) , but I thought sometimes it wasn't specific enough and simplified too much, especially from the male point of view.

[Colours19 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Took me some time to warm up to this book, but I quite liked it in the end as a light pick-me-up. It didn't spark any deep reflection but it did calm me down and make me feel like there is some hope in the world. Think it's a good self-help book for people who don't like self-help books. Gives me the same feeling as the poem Desiderata.

I appreciated the little anecdotes at the start of each chapter, which helped to situate the 'words of wisdom' that Sunim shared and made them 'applicable' in a sense. I particularly liked the anecdotes which pertain to himself, like the one were he was resentful of having been assigned a simple task, then realised he was making himself unhappy over something which only took five minutes. I also liked that Sunim sprinkled some more humorous quotes into the mix (albeit not forgetting the important life lessons), e.g. "Sushi tastes better with a cup of green tea. But if you eat it with Coca-Cola, it doesn't taste as food. The right combination is a key to success."

Some major lessons I hope to remember:
1. Focus on the present and what is in front of you.
2. You are not your emotions. Let them be, accept that they exist, but also realise that they are not you.
3. Difficulties are blessings in disguise to foster mindfulness.
4. Live a little and enjoy the moment.
5. Don't focus on the bad. Worry about bad things when they happen, not before.

Quotes I liked

"When you are lost in thought, you might not see what is right in front of you. But if you concentrate on what is right in front of you, you will be able to pause your thoughts."

"The mind is like a mirror, which nothing can ever mark or mar. In the mind's mirror, jealousy, hatred and greed can be reflected as fleeting images. But these are only reflections on the mirror's surface; the mirror itself is not marked by them. Do not see yourself in mere reflections, mistakenly imagining that they are yourself."

"When thoughts or emotions arise, do not attach the world 'I' to them, assuming that they are 'my thoughts' or 'my emotions'. They usually linger only briefly. If you keep claiming them as yours, you will only obstruct their natural flow and mistakenly identify with them."

"True freedom is being without anxiety about imperfection."

"Your life is difficult not because the past is holding you back, but because you keep thinking about the past and lingering there. Rather than haggling with your past, let it be, so that it can flow like a river. Your true self is not the river of memory, but the one who stands beside the river, quietly observing its flow."

"When it is rainy and cold outside, we naturally seek our warm and cozy home. When we are beset with difficulties, we naturally become more alert and mindful. When things are going well, we don't meditate much. Difficulties are blessings in disguise to foster mindfulness."

"When the mind is at rest, I see the moon and the wind blowing gently. Then I realise that the world is not necessarily an ocean of suffering."

"If you're sad, it's okay to acknowledge your sadness. If you have pain that leaves you at a loss, it's okay to talk about your pain. The reason we have difficulties is that we are unable to accept the things that cannot be changed. Let them be and see what happens."

"'Let it go' is actually another way of expressing 'Accept it fully'. It does not mean that the painful memory will somehow disappear.

"What causes us such distress is not the memory itself but the emotions that surround it - like regret, disappointment, anger, and frustration...The memory itself is not the problem-it's still there; it's the emotions connected to the memory that are the problem. And so there's no need to suppress the memory or try to get rid of it, which is nearly impossible anyway."

"...we can sense some distance between our difficult emotions and ourselves, and no longer identify ourselves with these emotions. Then we can allow them to exist, since they don't bother us as much."

"When you feel bad, don't struggle with the feeling. If you struggle to control it, you can make it worse. However hard you might wish your feelings away, they will stay for as long as they need to. When you allow them to be there and watch them, they usually leave earlier than you expected."

"Until you started thinking something was a problem, it hadn't really bothered you much, had it? Labelling something a problem is often what makes it one."

"Instead of postponing your happiness until you've achieved your goal, live a little and enjoy the moment. Life is passing you by while you are waiting."

"If there are nine good things and one bad thing in our lives, we'll expend more energy focusing on the one bad thing than on all that good. This is a habit left over from primitive times, when our ancestors needed to be constantly on the lookout for danger. If you discover yourself focusing on the bad, tell yourself: 'It's not the prehistoric era anymore. Worry about bad things when they happen, not before.'"

[Buku Arutala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kali ini saya merekomendasikan kembali karya Haenim Sunim untuk teman-teman sekalian baca. Secara pribadi, saya lebih menyukai buku Love for Imperfect Things dibandingkan karyanya sebelumnya, yaitu The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down. Alasannya sederhana saja, banyak hal yang sangat mengena dengan situasi hidup saya. Kalau kalian yang pernah membaca buku Haenim Sunim, pasti tahu betul tulisan beliau sangat menyentuh dan membuat hati tenang. Bagi saya, membaca buku Sunim seperti tengah berbincang dengan sahabat lama. Ketika membacanya, saya menikmati bab per bab tanpa mau ada distraksi sehingga saya tidak pernah terburu-buru untuk menghabiskan buku ini dalam sekejap. Membacanya perlu diikuti dengan perenungan, kontemplasi dan pengkhayatan karena saya tidak mau apa yang coba disampaikan Sunim menjadi hal yang berlalu saja.
Apabila saya diminta untuk merinci hal apa yang sangat berkesan dari buku ini, maka saya dapat sampaikan adalah
1. Pembahasan hubungan dengan orang tua, khususnya dengan ayah
2. Pembahasan untuk belajar mengikuti kata hati dan tidak selalu menjalani kehidupan yang orang ingin kita lakukan
Ada kalimat yang menyentil dikemukakan oleh Sunim, yaitu “What if the dream we achieved was never ours but that of our parents or teachers?”
3. Pembahasan untuk belajar rendah hati dan menghargai orang lain (adab/etika/akhlak)
Urusan tentang adab/etika/akhlak menjadi urusan yang sangat penting karena hal ini tidak lahir dari tingkat kecerdasan tinggi, tetapi dari kerendahan hati. Satu kalimat Sunim yang menggelitik dan kerapkali kita temui di kehidupan sehari-hari, bahkan mungkin kita bersikap atau dikelilingi orang yang berperilaku demikian, yaitu “The reason we think we are better than others is that inferiority still lurks within us. A sense of superiority exists because of a sense of inferiority”
4. Pembahasan untuk berdamai dengan keadaan
Sunim menjelaskan bahwa ketika kita mengalamai kekecewaan, rasa marah, atau sedih, jangan berusaha untuk melupakan, tapi terimalah keadaan tersebut. Semakin kita berusaha melupakan, semakin kita terus mengingat situasi buruk itu. Sebenarnya, kita hanya dapat mengingat peristiwa, tapi perasaan atau emosi atas peristiwa tersebut akan memudar secara perlahan. Oleh karena itu, berdamai dengan keadaan atau let it go.

[Nahida Sultana]

জীবনের সবকিছুই কি পারফেক্ট হয়?
সবকিছু কি একই নিয়মে চলে?
মুদ্রার এপিট ওপিট যেমন আছে তেমনি আমাদের জীবনটাও যেন মুদ্রার এপিট-ওপিট। একদিকে কষ্ট, একদিকে আনন্দ।
কখনো আলোর ঝলকানি আবার কখনো মেঘের ঘনঘটা।
কিন্তু কখনো এমন পর্যায়ে আমরা উপনীত হয় যে দুঃখগুলোকে আমার মেনে নিতে পারি না। হতাশা যে আকঁড়ে ধরে। আর আমরা মন দিতে পারি না ভালো মুহূর্তগুলোকে। উপভোগ করতে না পারার সময়গুলো আর ফিরেও আসে না।

এই বইটাতে লেখক তুলে ধরেছেন কীভাবে আপনি আপনার খারাপ দিকগুলো ভালোবাসবেন। কীভাবে দুঃখকে স্বাগত জানাবেন। কঠিন সময়গুলোতে কীভাবে ঠিকে থাকবেন।
৮টা অধ্যায়ে বিভক্ত এই বইয়ে যে জিনিসটার উপর সবচেয়ে বেশি গুরুত্ব দেওয়া হয়েছে সেটা সেল্প কেয়ার।
আপনি নিজে যদি খুশি না থাকেন তাহলে অপরকে খুশি করবেন কী করে? নিজে হতাশ হলে অপরকে কীভাবে স্বান্তনা দিবেন? তাই প্রথমে দেখা উচিত নিজের ভালো থাকাটা, নিজেকে খুশি রাখাটা গুরুত্বপূর্ণ। কেউ যখন নিজের কথা আগে চিন্তা করে তখন আমরা তাকে স্বার্থপর বলি কিন্তু সে নিজেরটা ঠিক রাখতে পারলেই তো অপরকে সাহায্য করতে পারবে।

তারপর লেখক বলেছেন পরিবারের কথা।
আমাদের মাঝে অনেক মানুষ আছে যারা পরিবারকে টেকেন ফর গ্রান্ডেড নিয়ে নেই। আমি নিতে পারবেন না এটা বলছি না কিন্তু কখনো তাদেরকে আমরা এটা প্রকাশ করি না যে আমাদের জীবনে তাদের গুরুত্ব কতটুকু।
আচ্ছা, একটা মানুষকে আপনি না বললে সে মানুষটা কেন শুধু শুধু ধরে নিবে সে আপনার কাছে গুরুত্বপূর্ণ হোক না সেটা পরিবারের মানুষ।
আমাদের অনুভূতি গুলো প্রকাশ করা দরকার। তখন তারা
বুঝবে তাদের অসুস্থতা আম���দের কতটা দুশ্চিন্তায় রাখে। তাদের বিপদ নিয়ে আমরা কতটা সচেতন থাকার চেষ্টা করি।
লেখক বলেছেন এখানে একটা সম্পর্ক কীভাবে ঠিকিয়ে রাখবে, কীভাবে আপনি আপনার খারাপটাকে মেনে নিবেন, কীভাবে জীবনের কষ্টগুলোকে একটা অংশ ভাববেন, কীভাবে অন্যের প্রতি সহমর্মিতা প্রদর্শন করবেন।


পাঠ প্রতিক্রিয়া:
ছোটো ছোটো উদ্ধৃতির মাধ্যমে পুরো একটা জীবনের সব রূপ তুলে ধরা হামিন সুনিমের দ্বারাই সম্ভব।
একেকটা উদ্ধৃতি যেন আপনাকে মিন করে বলছে, প্রতিটি কথা যেন আপনার অতৃপ্ত আত্মাকে সন্তুষ্ট করার জন্য লিখছে এমনটাই মনে হবপ আপনার।
দুশ্চিন্তা, হতাশা, খারাপ ঘটনা সবই জীবনের প্রতিটি পদক্ষেপে আছে। কিন্তু সেটাকে কাটিয়ে উঠার উপায়গুলো আমরা বুঝতে পারি না বলে হারিয়ে যায় অতলে।
নিজেকে ভালো রাখা, পরিবারের পাশে থাকা, অসহায়ের পাশে দাঁড়ানো, আজকের দিনটাকে উপভোগ করা,নিজেকে ট্রিট দেওয়া, মেঘ কেটে সূর্য দেখা দিবে এটা মাথায় রেখে জীবনটাকে এগিয়ে নিয়ে যেতে হবে।
একটাই জীবন, কালকের দুশ্চিন্তায় আজকের দিনটা কেন নষ্ট করব?
সব মিলিয়ে আমি সন্তুষ্ট বইটা পড়ে কিন্তু কয়েকটা পৃষ্ঠায় এক লাইন না লিখে সব এক পৃষ্ঠায় লিখলে কী সমস্যা আমি জানি না। এতে পৃষ্ঠা যেমন সাশ্রয় হবে তেমনি কম পৃষ্ঠা হলে বইয়ের দামগুলোও আরেকটু কমে আসবে বলে মনে হয় আমার।

বই:Love for imperfect things
লেখক: Haenim Sunim

[Yayan Nurkasanah · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Semakin kita dewasa secara spiritual, otomatis kita akan menumbuhkan rasa empati dan berusaha melihat segala sesuatunya dengan sudut padang orang lain.” - hlm. 3. Sadar tidak sadar dari sini kita akan belajar ketidaksempurnaan orang lain dan diri kita sendiri.

Buku Love for Imperfect Things (Mencintai Ketidaksempurnaan) mengajarkan kita untuk mendahulukan diri sendiri tanpa merasa bersalah, memahami ketidaksempurnaan orang tua, orang lain maupun diri kita sendiri, menyayangi, mencintai diri sendiri, percaya diri, dan bagaimana menghadapi kekecewaan.

Buku ini terdiri dari delapan bab, yaitu memelihara diri, keluarga, empati, hubungan, keberanian, penyembuhan, pencerahan, dan penerimaan. Setiap babnya terdiri dari dua sub-bab dan kalimat-kalimat refleksi serta dilengkapi dengan ilustrasi menarik.

Buku ini merupakan esai pengembangan diri atau self improvement yang ditulis berdasarkan pengalaman penulis dan orang-orang yang menceritakan permasalahannya kepada penulis. Terlepas dari seorang guru agama Buddha Zen, dalam buku ini penulis menyediakan ruang tanpa menggurui kepada membaca untuk memahami dan mengerti ketidaksempurnaan yang begitu lekat dengan diri setiap orang.

Saat kita berusaha menerima ketidaksempurnaan diri kita, akan lebih mudah juga menerima ketidaksempurnaan orang lain. Secara keseluruhan aku lebih suka dengan buku ini dibandingkan dengan buku karya Haemin sebelumnya. Hal ini mungkin karena aku berusaha belajar menerima ketidaksempurnaan dalam diriku. Seperti halnya ketidaksempurnaan pada ulasan buku ini juga, karena aku hanya menjabarkan sedikit pesan yang disampaikan dalam buku ini.

Love for Imperfect Things| Haemin Sunim | 295 hlm | @pop_icecube

[Chitra Parmar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am certified as 'Queen of Wisdom.' Indeed a real one - you can either laugh at it or embrace the truth. Honestly, this book is no big deal, and you can say it is overrated. But it's got the worldly wisdom we need to remind ourselves every single day. A book you can pick up anytime, anywhere and nod a quiet "yeah, yes, that's right, I know, aaaaah that" when you merge with the simple expressions of truth you already know. It will tell you that it is okay to be wrong or bad but it is not okay if you cannot accept the same from others. It's just the way of the world.
Quite a winner for me.

What our mind focuses on becomes our world! Have you ever sat and thought about what already exists in you? Are we telepathic with our true selves? Are we aware of our focus? Are we too self-centred?

Slowing down was the hardest thing I had to do. I often find myself confused and conflicted and in extreme moods. I was focusing too much on others, on the outside world. It was killing me inside as it springs up questions that don't have real relevance to my plans for my own life. I didn't realize a little break wouldn't harm the mind that is happy in a relationship with the universe of possibilities. Mind is my responsibility, but the heart is my core. The whole slowing down makes me so comfortable. We all know that the little things matter, and sometimes when in a rush, we fail to make a conscious effort to let them emerge. My routine consumes me so much I miss appreciating the pearls of joy life offers from time to time.

From now on, I shall prioritize and savour the tiny things, also never ignoring the bigger picture. Finding the right balance is quite tricky.