For F*ck's Sake: Why Swearing is Shocking, Rude, and Fun

by Rebecca Roache

Why do we love to swear so much? Why do we get so offended when others do it? With wit and insight, philosopher Rebecca Roache seeks answers to these and other puzzling questions about bad language.

When someone swears at you, it can sting. Likewise, sometimes there is no better way to make the point you're making--emphasize, insult, or just plain offend--than to use a swear. What explains the magical power of swearwords? Why are they so good at offending people? To understand swearwords' power, we need to look beyond the words themselves--beyond the way they sound and what they refer to--and consider more generally what we do when we swear.

In this lively and amusing exploration of the various puzzles that surround swearing, philosopher Rebecca Roache argues that what makes swearing offensive is not really the words at the offensiveness lies in what we don't say. The unspoken--and usually unconscious--inferences that speakers and listeners make about each other are key to explaining swearwords' capacity to shock. Swearing is unique among etiquette breaches in that it is designed to convey disrespect--swearing packs more of a punch than failing to say “please”.

Roache helps readers understand how swearing works, celebrating its power as a communicative tool and source of humor while also taking a close and serious look at specific words--those directed at women and women's bodies, for example--that function in particular, complex ways. She also examines the often-hypocritical ways swearing can be punished or censored. Along the way, she clears up a few puzzles, including why people are more tolerant of f*** than of fuck , and why quoted swearing is less offensive than unquoted swearing.

Finally, Roache helps readers appreciate that swearing isn't always bad. When it's not used offensively, it can foster social intimacy, can help people withstand pain, and might even help us curb our violent impulses. Even the offensiveness of swearing is valuable. Being able to cause offence by swearing is an important way of being accepted and respected as equals by other people.

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy, Language, Linguistics, Audiobook, Sociology

272 pages, Hardcover

Published November 1, 2023

Reviews

[Erikka · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t do this advanced reader copy. It was like reading someone’s incredibly dry and repetitive master’s thesis. I really wanted to like it bc I love linguistics and I swear like a sailor, but it was not compelling and needed an editor or four to cut out places where the author said the same exact thing no less than 5 times. I get it. Say it once and move on. It’s a book—if I didn’t understand something, I can reread it. Restating the same thing later on doesn’t make it click all of a sudden. I hope this will all change once it’s published, since this is an ARC, but wow. A hard sell.

[Sarah - All The Book Blog Names Are Taken]

Why are books about swearing so fucking boring?? 😭

[Pearl Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

meh. it's a f*cking thesis.

[kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

glad someone is out here defending my right to say cunt without pissing off some yanks

[Kendra Purtle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some very valuable information, here. I learned a lot. The author examines our relationship to swearing and why, differentiates swearing with slurs and their effects, and just the history as well as the future of swearing in a funny and light-hearted yet serious manner. Good information, and quite in-depth. And, who can tell me what the crazy typos are all about from page 170 on?!?!?!? Strange. #rebeccaroache

[mads]

this was definitely a thesis disguised as a book but I really found this engaging and informative

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly researched and as enjoyable as it is informative!

[Sheila Friedline · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this book thru a goodreads giveaway.

I love the cover of this book. It's fun. It's engaging. It creates curiosity.

Then the let down.

I DNFed this book. I tried. I gave it my 100 page (almost 97) grace. It's a dissertation. I expected a book about swearing to be funny and engaging and insightful. It is not. There are a few gems (the taboo of spilling salt origin & regional swear phrases) but not enough reader engagement to create ongoing interest. I gave up mentally when ONE footnote was 3/4 of a page long. This is an assignment for linguistic students. This is not what you expect the public to buy & enjoy.

I'm sure it is very well written and researched but I shouldn't want to toss a book across the room and swear...

[Lizz Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book about those sentence enhancers that can be viewed as offensive, shocking or humorous. The author has done a lot of research on the cursy words and their significance in our society. She also delineates between swear words and slurs. As someone who once worked at a warehouse connected to another warehouse where the language was more colorful than an art museum I found this book fascinating. The book starts out more like a research paper but improves as it progresses. The parts covering swear word substitution was interesting since I do that often.

[Steve]

Kind of fun to read, for a while. But the author tends to be very wordy, what she could say in a couple sentences she finds ways to stretch out into a few paragraphs. Clearly “swearing” has a lot to do with culture, respect, psychology, etc, and she brings that stuff in, but not in any methodical way, so it felt like kind of a wordy mish-mash. Read four chapters and decided that it just didn’t seem that she was making any real points other than fairly obvious ones, so I’m giving up on this one.

I enjoyed some of the translations of swearing in other languages.

[Doug · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the author's humor and often informal style of writing and the importance of the topic. Yet like so many academics, this book really gets bogged down with complexities and repetitiveness. If you have an interest in the topic of swearing and slurs, go for it. If you have a casusal interest, skip it or skim it. Again, the ties to progressive values are very strong.

[Nick · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's some really interesting, well-considered and thought-provoking analysis of swearing in this book. I also enjoyed the sense of humour present. The main detractor for me was the repetitiveness – I did find the same ideas being rehashed over and over without adding anything new.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a deep interest in linguistics in general, but swearing is such an interesting aspect of language that it is particularly fun to read about. I thought this was a pretty decent overview, but wasn't my favourite book I've read on this topic. I think it's still an interesting read if you don't mind carrying it around with you.

[lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

similar thoughts to young and matthes. not quite my cup of tea. this did delve into backgrounds of swearing that i did enjoy learning about, but again it might be a issue with the medium that i have; im sure i would have loved to meet roache and hear about this from her in a lecture or something along those lines.

[Amanda Morgan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Extra star given because it's obvious that a lot of research went into this.
This book reads like a very long term paper. I wish that there was more humor infused, especially since this is inherently fun subject matter. I did laugh out loud once, though.
I won this book from First Reads.

[Tyler Bakker · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s wordy and perhaps a little overly thorough, but if you want an nuanced deep dive not only into how cuss words come to be, but at the undercurrent that flows through all our conversations and cultural norms, you’ve come to the right place!

[Aaron Greufe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I definitely learned and thought more about not just swear words, but language and etiquette in general. Overall, however, it was a slight slog to get through and I wish it had been more conversational than a graduate essay

[Hannah Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

reading the other reviews is funny. this is a philosophy book about swearing: of course it's going to be subtle and thoughtful, as well as containing lots of fucking swear words.
if you want a philosophy book about swearing (and I do) this is just the ticket.

[Bridgette · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I agree 100% with everything this book stands for
*well-written and provides very interesting point of views
*explores cultural, linguistic, ethical and political swearing
*highly recommend

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting academic take on the linguistics of swearing.

[Burlington Community · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's a dissertation.

I DNFed this book. At my 100 page grace period, I couldn't go forward because it is not fun, it's not engaging, it's not colorful. Though the cover is all of those things.

[HO · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting. Repetitive. The material could have been a far more entertaining book.

[Yehaskel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. I really did.
I think it would be really good if it were condensed.

[Kseniya Kosmina · Rating 2 out of 5]

dense and informative. educational. took some time to get through, as it was packed with information.

[Dee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not finish. I thought this book would possibly be entertaining, zany, quirky, witty or farcical. It was none of those things. Instead of being humorous, it was very dry.

[Cal Davie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really fun read and a thorough examination. Naturally touches on the philosophy of language and brings a thoughtful reflection on how we use swearing. Really was fucking brilliant!

[Daniel Brisbin · Rating 1 out of 5]

very difficult to finish, boring enough that I might never swear again. worst book I've read in my life.

[Liam Haines · Rating 2 out of 5]

I mean 2.5? Its a winding dissertation.

[Christopher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Could have used better editing.