How It Was for Me: Stories

by Andrew Sean Greer

An auspicious debut of American realistic short fiction, How It Was for Me manages to strike every emotional tone from sweetness to despair, like a short symphony. The dominant tone is one of rueful self-recognition, often in retrospect. In "Lost Causes," for example, a man looks back on a four-month period in his early twenties in which he was, for the first and last time, achingly beautiful, the sort of boy who makes even straight men stare in appreciation. He had no idea at the time that he been transported into beauty, and even now, recalling his brief blossoming, remembers it only through "the evidence of my face's men fixing my computer for free, paying for my bus fare, arguing over me in bars." He made no important use of this four-month window, and it passed, leaving only photographs. The handsome protagonist of "The Walker" is similarly unaware, a widower who spends the evenings of his grief escorting wealthy divorcees and widows to the opera. Deftly executed, with odd, mordant touches, Greer's eleven stories put him in the ranks of Nathan Englander. With luck, he will reach as large an audience.--Regina Marler

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, LGBT

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2000

About the author

Andrew Sean Greer (born 1970) is an American novelist and short story writer.

He is the bestselling author of The Story of a Marriage, which The New York Times has called an “inspired, lyrical novel,” and The Confessions of Max Tivoli, which was named one of the best books of 2004 by the San Francisco Chronicle and received a California Book Award.

The child of two scientists, Greer studied writing with Robert Coover and Edmund White at Brown University, where he was the commencement speaker at his own graduation, where his unrehearsed remarks, critiquing Brown's admissions policies, caused a semi-riot. After years in New York working as a chauffeur, theater tech, television extra and unsuccessful writer, he moved to Missoula, Montana, where he received his Master of Fine Arts from The University of Montana, from where he soon moved to Seattle and two years later to San Francisco where he now lives. He is currently a fellow at the New York Public Library Cullman Center. He is an identical twin.

While in San Francisco, he began to publish in magazines before releasing a collection of his stories, How It Was for Me. His stories have appeared in Esquire, The Paris Review, The New Yorker and other national publications, and have been anthologized most recently in The Book of Other People, and The PEN/ O. Henry Prize Stories 2009. His first novel, The Path of Minor Planets, was published in 2001.

Reviews

[Krzysztof · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know; there are a couple of knock-you-on-your-ass stories here and I'm not sure it's fair to dock it a star for the few that aren't.

Greer can fit an entire novel's worth of emotion into a single line. I don't know if I know of another author who can do that.

[Roger DeBlanck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Greer made his debut with How It Was For Me, and this collection of short stories, indeed, showcases the immensity of his early talents. The stories reflect his gift at conjuring images and metaphors, at creating mood and atmosphere, and at exploring the disorientation of characters trying to make sense of their place and identity in a world too often calibrated to alienate and reject them. Three stories stood out to me as stellar. The first, “Lost Causes,” charts a young gay man abroad in Portugal trying to understand his sexuality. The second, “Blame It on My Youth,” chronicles the romantic relationship between a gay man and a straight woman. And the third, “Come Live with Me and Be My Love,” explores the friendship of a gay man and a lesbian who decide to hide their secret lives from the outside world by marrying each other. These three pieces, along with “Cannibal Kings” and the title story “How It Was For Me,” were more refined and cohesive in their narrative construction than the remainder of the stories, which came off as a little more piecemeal and lacking in the development of their characters. Regardless if some of the stories did not resonate like the others, Greer’s vivid prose in every story is enough to dazzle and mesmerize and keep you gripped to his poetic vision of giving us beauty with every image and description he creates. It is truly memorable to experience Greer’s stories in his first book and see how talented he has always been and then compare his early efforts with the remarkable novels he has given over the past twenty years.

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Andrew Sean Greer examines age and beauty with the fascination that most authors reserve for queerness. And he writes about queerness with a normalcy that's verging on refreshingly mundane. The stories are mostly concerned with things that can change - youth, beauty, wealth - and so leaves alone (but not ignored) identities that can't. For me, this focus kept every story and character engaged and in motion.

I loved "Lost Causes," "Blame It on My Youth," and "Come Live with Me and Be My Love," the last of which feels like a particular triumph of the collection. It just encompasses all the best of the stories; sharply observed characters, emotive writing, and longing without tragedy.

[Kyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some very thought provoking and affecting stories. Greer is a master of observation and mental fantasy; the writing has the quality of making up stories based on people-watching excursions. It's also clear his identity has embued in him a quiet, alternative perspective on the purity of youth, sexual discovery, aging, and death.

There were only a few clunkers in this collection (for me: "Cannibal Kings," "The Future of the Flynns," "The Walker"), which is an achievement for a first publication of 11 works. The other stories are well written with fully conceptualized characters, who then allow the plots to take on different paths from the norm. I didn't care for some strange instances of the omniscient narrator breaking the fourth wall—cases when the speaker unnecessarily tells the reader how characters will die, for example. I found it to be an attempt at control on the writer's part—a way of demonstrating a self awareness and reflexivity of the work, itself—that just isn't necessary (at least not so blatantly).

My favorites: "Come Live With Me and Be My Love" for it's tight form of a sprawling, longterm love story. "Lost Causes," both for its Baldwin-esque quality (Giovanni's Room), and also because it reads like a more reckless precursor to Call Me By Your Name.

[Lawrence · Rating 3 out of 5]

The language in these stories is often beautiful and poetic, but the stories seem to be overwhelmed by the words. The stories get lost, running out of control, and only incidentally make their way to a conclusion. But the endings never seem to convey any real meaning, only a glimpse or vague impression of an experience, event, etc. And that every story insists on forcing a peek at the future of a character with a "in some many years she will be X but that is not now" structure is incredibly irritating and not essential to the story being told. That said, several stories are promising and worth reading, especially the beautifully sad "Come live with me and be my love."

[Mark Castaneda · Rating 5 out of 5]

**this is worth prefacing with saying that I really didn't think "Less" was very good, so I had low expectations coming into this collection, but just stumbled upon the collection in a used book store and figured I'd read it passively.

but therse are really just phenomenal short stories. Glancing over reviews, I think that there's a shared understanding that the final story, Come Live with Me and Be My Love, is easily the most beautiful and heartbreaking but also inspiring story of the entire collection. I also had a sinking suspicion that writing about a queer male relationship would be just another tragic HIV 80s story like so many others, but instead Greer transcends the fashionable and easy subject within queer literature and still writes something that hits hard and deep. incredible.

Blame it on my youth also took a unique experience and elevated it to a point of empathy where I was able to take a situation that I think I would never get myself into, and make it something deeply believable. Painted the main characters so artfully and hit that sorrow that isn't a deep punch but a bitter pit in the stomach.

Other honorable mentions: The art of eating was really something great, feels underappreciated and great character development and very unique. I also appreciated how eccentric Cannibal Kings, the opening story was. although his style is consistent it's such a curveball compared to the rest of the book. Lost Causes was just a fun read.

Strangely, How It Was For Me, the titular story, was easily my least favorite. huh.

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first experience with Andrew Sean Greer's writing was The Story of A Marriage, which I really enjoyed. Within the past two years I've set out to catch up on my reading of modern short stories, and I was excited to find this collection authored by Greer.

I found these stories beautifully and powerfully written--so much so that I've read this collection twice in the past year.

I look forward to reading more short stories by Andrew Sean Greer.

[Talia L · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5) I didn’t enjoy plot as much as I did in the novels because it’s packed and you really have to focus to get all of the depth, but I loved the writing as always - so vivid, original, and powerful. I also looked out for themes and once I noticed some of them I appreciated the stories that much more. Greer creates very real characters and writes in a descriptive and visual way.

[jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

i think i'm just not a short story person - thought the beginning stories were slow and indulgent but i liked the ones at the end much more. idk i finished it two days ago and im struggling to remember more than 3 of them so this just didn't make an impression on me i guess but i love greer's writing! like 3.5 and prob 4 stars if you like short stories

[Matthew Allard · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Greer's novels over the years, but this was my first time with his wonderful short stories. I liked "Blame It on My Youth" the best here. Exciting to see how his storytelling and career has progressed in the ~20 years since this was first published.

[John de Vos · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brilliant short story collection about (repressed) love and friendship. Oh, and food. ‘Come live with me and be my love’ is an epic coming-out-come-friendship story told in 30 pages that will make you smile, then cry, then smile again.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know what the hell else you could want from a collection. I limited myself to one story per day and felt lucky every time I sat down to begin the next. Easily one of the best short story collections I have ever read. It's a must-read and own. Get the hardback, you'll want to treasure it.

[Don Macintosh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each story was captivating and almost dream like but it is his use of language that really takes the reader by surprise and makes one want to read sentences over in wonder. Tremendous collection of a variety of stories.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pure perfection. After 5 novels and now this short story collection, I know for a certainty - Andrew Sean Greer is one of my favorite authors of all time. Each story here, particularly the last, made my emotions soar. He has an ability to write that reaches directly into my soul.

[Kara Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice collection. Fun to read.

[Bryan Rollins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good collection

I'm always a sucker for short stories. These end well, without revealing everything but enough to give you some mental closure to move on to the next.

[Erin Spradlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written but very, very boring.

[tady · Rating 5 out of 5]

i love this man. i love his writing. so much.
come live with me and be my love was incredible.

[Maughn Gregory · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though more than half of these stories were 5+!

[Natasha Zagorodnyaya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not sure how to rate the book. I didn't like much some stories, but the ones that I liked truly impressed me.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

My favorite story in this collection is "Blame It on My Youth." The story of a gay man and a straight women, both romantically unlucky, who fall into a romance of sorts, this story looks at love and gender from new angles, always with sharply detailed characterization and a command of imagery. This story is one of my favorite pieces of writing by this author. Achingly empathic and moving.

[Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I must have been on crack when I gave up on this book before, because IT IS WONDERFUL. I can't even really talk about it, other than to say that "Come Live with Me and Be My Love" is one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking stories I have ever read.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another terrific book of short stories, this time with an up to date feel, even those set in the recent past. Many examine the gay experience, but not all, and some are simply touching and beautiful. Greer is a first rate writer who, until now, I apparently missed. Don't miss him, folks.

pp

[Beth Shields-Szostak]

1st edition, signed by author

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting to read these.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Life Is Over There" was a quiet favorite.

[Susy Tomasiello · Rating 3 out of 5]

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