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"Я у себя одна", или Веретено Василисы
Бывают книги, встреча с которыми становится событием. Как минимум потому, что они помогают взглянуть на свою жизнь иначе, чем мы привыкли. К их числу принадлежит и та, которую вы держите в руках. Именно таким необычным взглядом она и отличается от многочисленных книг "про женщин" и "про женскую психологию". Хотя, разумеется, речь в ней идет и о том, и о другом. А еще о женских психологических группах и их участницах, о гендерных мифах и о том, как они появляются. А также о том, почему мы такие, какие есть, и может ли быть иначе.
Узнавания сменяют открытия, боль и страх чередуются с иронией и озорством, пониманием и любовью. Так и крутится веретено, сплетая нитку жизни - жизни женщины и жизни вообще, в которой столько разного...
А прочитать книжку полезно всем - независимо от пола, возраста и профессии. Право слово, равнодушными не останетесь.
Узнавания сменяют открытия, боль и страх чередуются с иронией и озорством, пониманием и любовью. Так и крутится веретено, сплетая нитку жизни - жизни женщины и жизни вообще, в которой столько разного...
А прочитать книжку полезно всем - независимо от пола, возраста и профессии. Право слово, равнодушными не останетесь.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
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95 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
February 9, 2015
Потрясаюшая книга, обязательная для чтения всем женщинам, выросшие в СССР, России или воспитанные теми кто был рожден в тех условиях. Многие проблемы и комплексы, описанные в книге присуще именно этой культуре. У других народностей свои проблемы, конечно же, нет идеального общества, но осознав то, что описано в этой книге можно попытаться сломать порочный круг и создать лучшее будущее для следующих поколений женщин, чтобы им было легче любить себя, окружающих и своих детей, в особенности дочерей.
March 5, 2016
a re-read, third in a row, maybe? or fourth. possibly fifth. if there is a 'one book that changed your life', that would be that one.
mikhailova is one of the best first-generation psychodramatists in russia. she came to msu to give us a guest course on - i don't even remember, really, maybe history of psychotherapy? - and me and imja followed her back to the institute of group and family psychotherapy for the psychodrama courses like children after the flutist of hammeln, to study psychodrama and to become therapists. well, i didn't become one at once, as you know, but the changes that cascaded from there made my life completely different from what it could be.
the book is, ostensibly, something of a meditation on a psychodramatic therapy groups for women she held (and continues to hold); it's also one of the best books on being a woman in russia; being a woman period, maybe, but also in russia, definitely, with our history and our sorrows and the generations of trauma, revolution and war and repressions rolling over and over. it's funny and kind and unbearable, jumping subjects from tragedies of family history to seemingly insignificant little dramas, and just - once upon a time it gave me a language to think about myself, to name myself.
(it was late spring, i think; i was what, nineteen? i bought the book and sat down on a bench on kamergerskiy to dip into it, and stayed until it was dark, until i was finished, crying most of the way through. i cried over it yesterday, too; somehow from the other side).
mikhailova is one of the best first-generation psychodramatists in russia. she came to msu to give us a guest course on - i don't even remember, really, maybe history of psychotherapy? - and me and imja followed her back to the institute of group and family psychotherapy for the psychodrama courses like children after the flutist of hammeln, to study psychodrama and to become therapists. well, i didn't become one at once, as you know, but the changes that cascaded from there made my life completely different from what it could be.
the book is, ostensibly, something of a meditation on a psychodramatic therapy groups for women she held (and continues to hold); it's also one of the best books on being a woman in russia; being a woman period, maybe, but also in russia, definitely, with our history and our sorrows and the generations of trauma, revolution and war and repressions rolling over and over. it's funny and kind and unbearable, jumping subjects from tragedies of family history to seemingly insignificant little dramas, and just - once upon a time it gave me a language to think about myself, to name myself.
(it was late spring, i think; i was what, nineteen? i bought the book and sat down on a bench on kamergerskiy to dip into it, and stayed until it was dark, until i was finished, crying most of the way through. i cried over it yesterday, too; somehow from the other side).
July 7, 2018
образец графоманства и дешевой иронии (редкое предложение обходится без кавычек в тексте), плюс реклама группы психодрамы автора.
действительно затронуто несколько интересных вопросов, но на полпути рассуждения замыливаются, мысль теряется, автор начинает описывать подробно, что происходило на кружке, детали мало относящиеся к сути проблемы.
зато по ссылке автора вспомнила о книге Симоны де Бовуар, читаю в удовольствие
действительно затронуто несколько интересных вопросов, но на полпути рассуждения замыливаются, мысль теряется, автор начинает описывать подробно, что происходило на кружке, детали мало относящиеся к сути проблемы.
зато по ссылке автора вспомнила о книге Симоны де Бовуар, читаю в удовольствие
January 25, 2019
Прочитав хорошие отзывы, решила почитать. Несколько раз давала книге шанс. Не вчиталась. Не идет и все. Смесь цитат, историй о женщинах. + на мой взгляд слишком иронизирует автор в этих примерах и тему феминизма затрагивает. Прочитав примерно 1/5 книги, бросила.
November 20, 2021
Понравились размышления на тему гендерного вопроса, мужского шовинизма - причём в головах женщин, социально поощряемые нормы поведения, определяющие место женщины в обществе - и непосредственно, кто это место определяет. Книга противоречивая, рекомендую к прочтению не только женщинам, но и мужчинам,- и всем, кто использует слово «феминистка» как ругательное.
January 5, 2021
Читать нелегко, но прочитать важно.
September 23, 2024
Очень теплая женская книга.
June 18, 2019
Look, a Russian book on my list! A Russian non-fiction to boot! (It is a wholly truthful statistical lie that of all my Russian readings of late are non-fiction. The sample population is two books across the last year /beams).
It’s a book on legacy that speaks to the women shaped by the Russian/Soviet cultural code about how we internalize it as our own emotional baggage, and more generally, it’s a book about psychodrama, a role-play toolkit in group therapy. Шt took me several months to finish the book, but it was a very insightful read, and I’m glad I took my time with it. I do, however, apologize in advance if I misinterpret something out of it in retelling -- I am a complete amateur in matters of psychotherapy, and this how I internalized this book, not an elevator pitch advertising it.
The book is very obviously not written by anyone from the Anglo Saxon writing tradition -- no strict structure, and a free flow of thoughts, quotes and cases loosely connected in themes. Because I read and write primarily in English these days, at first it stood out so much that my mind kept wandering off and away the content, but soon that impression smoothed out and made me very nostalgic for school days of reading and writing essays, actually :) The book is kind, and encouraging, and understanding and accepting without being apologetic about the baggage. I also appreciated it for not going too far into the умом Россию не понять spheres to give a cultural flavour to forces that shape the mind and the behavior. I really liked the analysis of all the cases, regardless of how well I connected with the subject the group was working on: it is fascinating to see how much people uncover about themselves when they have a chance to give a voice and a face to the murky thoughts that give them discomfort. That’s almost like reconstructing a really well-written and layered book (toldya, internalizing, not elevator-pitching, so please bear with me).
How well I connected with the themes varied wildly. Anything that related to growing up and with concepts of one’s self-worth and abilities, and generally the feeling of appropriateness of oneself in world -- yes, a million times. That subject alone could spawn pages of thought, based on so much thinking I’ve done on this subject and conversations I’ve had in the past year, but not here. It would need its own space. As for subjects that I read with interest and distance -- that would be anything related to traditional home-making and childbearing. Topics that were absolutely painful to read about were those chapters that took an unflinching look at the horror that was childbearing and choices around it in the times without planned parenthood.
One of the most interesting things to come out of this book were conversations I’ve had with people prompted by things I'd realized about myself while reading. The most basic and fundamental example would be conversations about the formative formal or informal directives one grows up with: sharing mine with friends, and hearing them define their own with little effort, and coming to a wide-eyed realization of how absolutely instrumental they still are to their own sense of self and limitations. But, as I said, the subject calls for its own space -- and in the meantime, yes, I would recommend the book to my Russian-speaking friends. Something in it is bound to resonate, but don’t expect all of it to.
It’s a book on legacy that speaks to the women shaped by the Russian/Soviet cultural code about how we internalize it as our own emotional baggage, and more generally, it’s a book about psychodrama, a role-play toolkit in group therapy. Шt took me several months to finish the book, but it was a very insightful read, and I’m glad I took my time with it. I do, however, apologize in advance if I misinterpret something out of it in retelling -- I am a complete amateur in matters of psychotherapy, and this how I internalized this book, not an elevator pitch advertising it.
The book is very obviously not written by anyone from the Anglo Saxon writing tradition -- no strict structure, and a free flow of thoughts, quotes and cases loosely connected in themes. Because I read and write primarily in English these days, at first it stood out so much that my mind kept wandering off and away the content, but soon that impression smoothed out and made me very nostalgic for school days of reading and writing essays, actually :) The book is kind, and encouraging, and understanding and accepting without being apologetic about the baggage. I also appreciated it for not going too far into the умом Россию не понять spheres to give a cultural flavour to forces that shape the mind and the behavior. I really liked the analysis of all the cases, regardless of how well I connected with the subject the group was working on: it is fascinating to see how much people uncover about themselves when they have a chance to give a voice and a face to the murky thoughts that give them discomfort. That’s almost like reconstructing a really well-written and layered book (toldya, internalizing, not elevator-pitching, so please bear with me).
How well I connected with the themes varied wildly. Anything that related to growing up and with concepts of one’s self-worth and abilities, and generally the feeling of appropriateness of oneself in world -- yes, a million times. That subject alone could spawn pages of thought, based on so much thinking I’ve done on this subject and conversations I’ve had in the past year, but not here. It would need its own space. As for subjects that I read with interest and distance -- that would be anything related to traditional home-making and childbearing. Topics that were absolutely painful to read about were those chapters that took an unflinching look at the horror that was childbearing and choices around it in the times without planned parenthood.
One of the most interesting things to come out of this book were conversations I’ve had with people prompted by things I'd realized about myself while reading. The most basic and fundamental example would be conversations about the formative formal or informal directives one grows up with: sharing mine with friends, and hearing them define their own with little effort, and coming to a wide-eyed realization of how absolutely instrumental they still are to their own sense of self and limitations. But, as I said, the subject calls for its own space -- and in the meantime, yes, I would recommend the book to my Russian-speaking friends. Something in it is bound to resonate, but don’t expect all of it to.
April 28, 2016
У прынцыпе, усё астатняе варта гэтай ганебнай назвы ды ледзь выносных першых 50-ці старонак. Пад сярэдзіну аўтар крыху супакойваецца і з адвечных літаратурных адхіленняў пераходзіць да справы (і даволі цікавай, дарэчы): падрабязны расповяд пра метад псіхадрамы, усё на прыкладах працы груп, а галоўнае - надзвычай важнае для нашых часоў і кантэкстаў.
Нічога істотна новага, але часам трапнае - да спазму ў сэрцы.
(Харошы водгук і цытаты - тут http://gnezdo.by/review/vereteno-vasi... )
Нічога істотна новага, але часам трапнае - да спазму ў сэрцы.
(Харошы водгук і цытаты - тут http://gnezdo.by/review/vereteno-vasi... )
February 6, 2017
Не люблю психодраму. С детства, так сказать.
April 30, 2017
Книга очень понравилась. Нет никаких советов, просто обо всех важных вещах по-немногу... И в этом большая поддержка и одновременно надежда... Очень понравились размышления про любовь к себе и про дружеские отношения... Книга заставила задуматься о гендерных темах, и о роли женщины, о том месте, которое ей определяется... О том, кто определяет это место и почему...И как-то после книги стало более это место заметно и хочется что-то с этим сделать, но и для себя тоже хочется что-то сделать, что ьы стало свободнее, радостнее, наполненнее...
Понравилась так же не новая мысль о том. что всему свое место и время и что не надо бежать от переживаний, которым место в данный момент. Но вот как так оглянуться на свою жизнь и понять, что можно/нужно что-то подправить и не бояться делать эти шаги... Тут, наверное, у каждой свой путь... но шелуха отлетает и, может, многое, из того, что женщинам предписано иметь в жизни, это не про нас, да и не хотим мы этого. Вот этот выбор - это здорово!
Понравилась так же не новая мысль о том. что всему свое место и время и что не надо бежать от переживаний, которым место в данный момент. Но вот как так оглянуться на свою жизнь и понять, что можно/нужно что-то подправить и не бояться делать эти шаги... Тут, наверное, у каждой свой путь... но шелуха отлетает и, может, многое, из того, что женщинам предписано иметь в жизни, это не про нас, да и не хотим мы этого. Вот этот выбор - это здорово!
April 18, 2017
Мне кажется, эту книгу надо прочитать всем "женщинам пост-советского пространства". Лучше поздно, чем никогда.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews