Well. That was painful.
I'd heard of Master and Commander, of course. And I'm writing book that takes place almost entirely on a pirate ship, so I was looking for inspiration and also ideas on how to write a naval book. But when I went to Half Price Books to look for Master and Commander they didn't have a copy. They did, however, have like 20 other O'Brian books and I picked one at random. Granted, I'd heard Master and Commander was his masterpiece, so I wasn't expecting anything like, masterful. But I didn't expect this either. Let's start with the negatives.
-The book is undeniably, painfully boring. In all my 17 years I've always felt obligated to finish books on the grounds they got published for a reason. But multiple times I was just tempted to put it down. It was so bad. Though I read it during the middle of the day multiple times I glazed over and at one point almost fell asleep. It only took 6 hours, but it seemed like it took 6 days.
-There's no conflict. For the first 200 pages or so there was literally no conflict driving the story. Literally nothing was happening and there was no clear enemy or really anything that seemed wrong. That's part of the reason it was so boring. No conflict.
-Confusing narrative. There were so many instances I had to go back and read sections again because I had no idea what just happened. This annoyed me because it meant an already grueling experience was made longer. There are so many monologues which are multiple pages long, so cluttered with nautical or philosophical gibberish that are extremely confusing and, as one finds out later, completely irrelevant to the plot.
-The handling of the nautical terms and ideas. Don't get me wrong. O'Brian knew what he was writing about, but so many times, especially during the many long, irrelevant monologues, the only reason he seemed to be spouting all this information was to go "welp. I know all this stuff MIGHT AS WELL MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS." Also, the nautical information was not helpful at all. Often there was literally no context. And when it was delivered it was delivered to a stupid character in the tone of "you're an idiot so I'm going to spout everything you should know without explaining it." This was extremely annoying. Not only was this book awful, but its only purpose...the only reason I bought it, was somehow screwed up by the author.
-Ill-fitting humor. This aspect I found odd, and it was often very jarring. The sad thing was O'Brian seemed to think he was actually funny. If you're not funny, there's nothing wrong with that. But keep it out of a book. ESPECIALLY a book where the overall tone does not fit humor at all. I laughed one time. The rest of the time it was very, very jarring.
-The characters are trash. I'm not sure...ever...in my life, I've seen characters so lifeless...so without character, so without anything other than a story requires characters. OH. It was so painful. Jack, the main character, had no defining characteristics, personalities...or even any physical aspects that defines him as anything. He's not even cardboard, because cardboard still has shallow depth. He had no depth. At all. AND HE'S THE MAIN CHARACTER. The cotagonist, Toby, has one characteristic, which, to be fair, is significantly more than Jack. He's clumsy and super educated. Yup. That's it. No conflict. Nothing. The only reason he exists is for the author to go "Look! He doesn't know anything about the navy! Isn't that funny? That's funny right? It's funny? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?" The rest of the characters have no characteristics at all. Omg....it was so bad.
-The plot...or what I think might have been what O'Brian thought was the plot, was wholly unoriginal. It took 200 pages for anything to happen. Then. When it did it was a beat for beat arc of "The Narrative of Arthur Gordan Pym of Nantucket" by Edgar Allen Poe. Except Poe's story had life, meaning, character, creativity, and was exciting and adventurous, while this was stagnant and boring. I'm ok with the whole trope of ship mutiny. I really am. It's done in almost every nautical story in existence. But this story doesn't put any spin on it, or even pretend it's trying to. In the space of like 2 pages the crew mutinies with practically NO build up, and then that's that.
-The build up...and then nothing. Yeah so I'm ok with a slow build up. I really am. I just read Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, and the build up there is nearly 900 pages. So yeah. I get it (enjoyed that book a 1000 times more than this, despite its flaws). But really the thing about this book is that the only thing the "build up" built up to was for something to actually start to happen in a conflict-void, character-void narrative. I'm glad a plot started to form, at least. But I had the notion about a hundred pages in that this wasn't building up to anything. I was right. You can literally read the last 100 pages without missing anything. The first 200 nothing of any plot relevance, character growth...or anything really, happens. Read the last hundred pages you might not be reeling from the pain.
The positives:
-Yeah. Only that the last 100 pages actually had a plot. The characters were lifeless. The plot a carbon copy of a hundred other stories. Almost zero conflict. But at least things started to happen. The last 100 pages went by a lot faster than everything else, but that's only because I was itching to get the train wreck over with.
So yeah. Do yourself a favor. If you have a copy of this book go pick up a handy instruction manual (called "Fahrenheit 451"), learn how to burn it, then laugh in glee as it ignites in the flames of glory.