I put off reading this for a long time, because while it was always described as 'good' it was also described as 'grim', 'heartbreaking' or 'devastating'. My plan was actually to read the first part, and see how I felt. The problem of course is that Mears hits you right out the gate, with an evocative scene so infused with gentle horror that the book has you in its clutches and won't let go, while you struggle to recover. We watch as a child, abused and seeing no choices, carries out acts she has no idea of the impact of. And in this way, Mears sets up an extraordinary novel about rural Australian life between the wars, abuse and trauma, and the strange relationship between show jumpers and their horses.
The unfolding of the opening scene, where the reader is a modern adult, and the protagonist a child with no framework to view her own abuse, sets a strange tone for the interaction of reader and novel. I was always aware of being an audience for this story, of knowing things its characters didn't, but instead of taking me out of the story, that sense someone drew me in as if I had to role to play as witness. Mears excels at conjuring images, and creating vivid scenes engages the reader, but her journey through the book is artfully constructed.
Despite the tragedy that underpins the book, it genuinely didn't feel grim to me. It is a story told about hard lives, in a hard time. Our protagonists are relatively untouched by war, but the background to their tragedies are the shattered husbands and sons and fathers from one war, and then the next. There are tragedies in this story, but there is joy as well. Mears brings to life the pleasure of a baby's laughter, and the perfection of families in complete sync with each other, just as she invokes the stiff and cold world of spouses who can't bring themselves to touch. The book feels like an ode to survival, to the value of trying, to the things in the human (and horse!) spirit that abuse, violence and disappointment can't obliterate. The book is not, it is true, hopeful. But neither is it hopeless: this is life, it seems to say, and what a full-on experience that can be.
Mears tackles racism, like trauma, in a persistent but never obvious way. It has been years since I heard the term "touch of the tar", but it took me straight back to my grandmother's sewing room Aboriginal parents or grandparents in a 'white' family was a subject of malicious gossip and humiliation, but not the exclusion and open abuse meted out to 'darkies'. This system, in which a `white' girl can meet her black brother only at night, is just observed not commented upon, but none the less devastating for that.
By far the most confronting impact of this observation technique is seeing sexual abuse through the eye of the victim, and all the confusion, abandonment, sexuality and trauma that she simply cannot lay to rest. For this alone, the book deserves awards.
I must confess, however, to not actually liking horses very much. I suspect this did make the book a bit easier to take. Because while my empathy circuits were on full exhaustion for the human experience, I could observe rather more dispassionately - if no less critically - the abuse and violence meted out to the horses. Mears captures very well this strange rural relationship with animals, where deep affection and reverence can be combined with a ruthlessness, and almost obsessive need to dominate and impose perfect will on domesticated animals.
And aside from all its more weighty jobs, the book excels at simply showing off a world of local and district shows, where baking and jumping are all, and communities exorcise rivalry's while building a kind of solidarity. The show scenes are breathtaking, but so is the quiet determination to perfect the gingernut.
A memorable, if not easy, read, and easily going to be with me for a long time.