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The Second Coming: A Leatherdyke Reader
The field of lesbian S/M erotica has no equal to the bestselling author and cult icon Pat Califia. Now she and author/activist Robin Sweeney have compiled the definitive readers for anyone interested in the cutting edge of radical sexuality, with fiction and nonfiction from the leasing writers of erotica.
396 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 1996
4 people are currently reading
200 people want to read
About the author
Patrick Califia
66 books161 followersPatrick Califia, who formerly wrote under the names Pat Califia and Patrick Califia-Rice, is a writer of nonfiction (on men, gender, transgender identity, and sexuality) and fiction (erotica, poetry, and short stories).
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
November 24, 2023
“i had to listen to what made my pussy wet, not what was said in mary daly study groups” carol queen coming through.
content/trigger warnings; homophobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, biphobia, acephobia, complusory sexuality, misogyny, sex, kink/bdsm, sex work, kink-related discrimination, erotophobia, addiction, suicidal ideation, coming out, incarceration, rape, victim blaming, abortion of fetus with down’s, allonormativity, aphobia, surgery, gender/bio essentialism, cissexism, nonbinaryphobia, ableism, racism, antisemitism, fascism, violence, gun violence, harassment, drugging, physical abuse, psychological abuse, domestic abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse,
i totally skipped the fiction sections because i don’t care. and the poetry sections did nothing for me. i’m just here for the nonfiction. i love books like these, i’m all for reading about all different kinds of queer experiences and history. so here are some thoughts.
“dyke with a dick” by tala brandeis: super dated, questionable takes on being transgender, specifically about trans women needing to have gone through certain transitions and experiences in order to be able to take up space in women-only spaces and be accepted as women. and terms like “testosterone-ravaged male bodies” are used. it just feels icky and bio essentialist and “testosterone=bad.” like: “being a woman is more than an announcement to the world concurrent with a bit of cosmetic surgery and a few hormones.” come on. ew. i also i don’t agree that it’s necessary for trans people to come out to people before having a sexual relationship with them. not only could that put them in danger, but they don’t owe anyone a coming out.
“boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez: this one has a really good explanation of gender, sex, and sexuality. though it does come off a little bit like a “both sides” thing when it comes to trans people in women’s spaces. i agree that women only spaces should exist, but you don’t then get to say “oh no but not that kind of woman” ya know? and playing devil’s advocate for women who want to kick trans women out spaces they have every right to be in or nonbinary/transmasc people who identify with being a woman in some way or masc women or even trans men who grew up in women’s spaces and still feel a sense of community/connection and want to remain in those spaces they’ve always been in is shitty.
“bisexual perverts among the leather lesbians: some thoughts on border-crossing” by carol queen: it bothers me that the author talks about boundary crossing and everything that comes with that, but pitches a fit when someone who has sex with men and women doesn’t call themselves bisexual. you can’t be for boundary crossing if you’re upset when someone who has the same sexual behavior as you doesn’t use the same label you do. also, what’s with always italicizing queer or putting it in quotes??
“my life as a dom” by liz highleyman, aka mistress veronika frost: i’ve read bits and pieces of this author’s work before, through my pansexual research, and i generally enjoy it, and this is no different. an interesting exploration of s/m from the perspective of someone also involved in sex work. the author touches on her gender, saying, “throughout much of my life i have felt that i did not have much of an internal gender identity. i know that my body reflects what our culture labels as woman, but i don’t possess the sense that some transsexuals describe of ‘just knowing’ what body one belongs in. i have long thought that if woke up one day in a male body, i would be equally happy and would still be just as much ‘me.’” which i find suuuuper relatable. whenever i see the body swap trope and the characters are having like a meltdown or freak out about being in a different body, i’m always like....what’s the issue? i wouldn’t care. it wouldn’t be an issue for me. and not really having a sense of internal gender is something i rarely see expressed that i relate to. i don’t conceptualize gender the way everyone else, cis or trans or nonbinary, does. i’m not attached to anything and i don’t know what being x gender feels like. i’m just kind of indifferent about it all, and it’s cool to see at least some of that sentiment expressed.
“you’ve been naughty, you nasty girls” by alien nation: excellent commentary on lack of accessibility in s/m lesbian spaces
“united in ableism’s web” by mary frances platt: excellent commentary on wider ableism in lesbian s/m spaces
“unity in the community” by lamar van dyke: bio essentialism based separatism argument, with this line thrown in “i might disagree with you about bisexuality and the amount of energy that women are still putting into men” so a big old no thank you!
“sex, lies, and heteropatriarchy: the s/m debate at the michigan womyn’s musical festival” by rebecca dawn kaplan: i don’t like the “both sides” approach to this essay. “dyke s/m-ers are not the source of violence in the world and anti-s/m seps are not the reason that sexual repression exists” is kind of iffy to me. people privately participating in s/m does not contribute to violence against women, but people publicly spreading anti-s/m rhetoric actually are contributing to sexual repression, especially when the people you’re talking about are actively banning s/m groups from public spaces. it’s a “both sides” arguement that justifies anti-s/mers and downplays their impact while falsely equating it to s/m-ers reaction to their own oppression.
“speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn: interesting analysis of what family means and what it can look like, especially regarding s/m and nonmonogamy.
“contemplating porn, the liberator: a personal memoir/outlaw manifesto” by miriam laskin: i like the conversation about how masturbation and porn writing/watching/reading is acceptable or normal when it’s guys, but god forbid a woman partakes in it. but uh “i often like to be fucked real hard so that the next day, when my urethra is irritated and it feels like i gotta pee and i walk around sore inside all day, still i’m happy.” babe that’s a uti, let’s not.
“a house divided: violence in the lesbian s/m community” by patrick califia: very disappointed to see more bio essentialism about how even with being able to prove it, the author thinks violence, abuse, assault, etc. are “more of a problem” among gay and heterosexual s/mers than lesbian s/mers. and the atrocious victim blaming in saying if you’re in an abusive relationship and “allow it to continue” then you’re “aiding and abetting violence against that woman’s next partner” and that you can just “put a stop to it” because “many women have, some of them who were in even more danger than you.” like. what the fuck?
i don’t have thoughts on “a latina combat femme, her shoes, & ensuing cultural identity” by tatiana de la tierra, “sex and the single submissive” by drew kelly campbell, “ball and chain” by jezi strong, “contracts and contract negotiating” by lamar van dyke, and “electra, on the rocks: following the paradigm tides” by laura antoniou. “sex party savoir faire” by robin sweeney is very thorough, but i otherwise don’t have thoughts on. and i anticipated enjoying the analysis in “s/m symbols, fascists icons, and systems of empowerment” by linda wayne, but the way it’s written just did nothing for me.
quotes:
“when we first showed up at gay pride marches, some attempts were made to keep up out by mainstream gays who thought we made them look bad and by followers of outmoded feminist theories that made no distinction between s/m and violence. then for several years our presence was grudgingly accepted. but our right to partcipate in these events is being challenged once more. the new christian right loves to videotape people in leather and chains flogging one another, and they broadcast this footage when they try to pass laws denying gay citizens equal civil rights in colorado, oregon, washington, and other states. the leather community’s right to particpate in gay pride events is being threatened by mainstream gay politicos who don’t know how to talk to mom and pop about us and don’t particularly care to learn.” (from: “introduction”)
“for some it is just that, play: a fun and sometimes erotic exploration of power exchange. for others, explorations of our deep-seated and previously repressed emotions about gender identity and expression have led us to the discovery that gender is more than just a hot sexual fantasy. it is the core of our lives and of our beings. some of us have cut through our own veil of denial and started taking male hormones. we run the gamut of human existence, coming from all walks of life, races, sexual orientations, and spiritualities. some prefer to be called ftm, while others prefer the term transgendered. we call ourselves queer, lesbian, gay, pansexual, bisexual, heterosexual, or any other phrase that more adequately describes us. in some cases we are asexual by force or choice. some require strict adherence to the ‘proper’ gender pronouns. others could care less. some believe that they are strictly and there is no room for anything else within them. others believe that they are all of both or neither of either—a third gender, so to speak, pioneers in their own fashion who must navigate the waters of a turbulent bipolar society in which one is forced to choose the gender box one will reside in. some ftms have left our community and not looked back. others staunchly believe that this community is our home and that despite a change in the welcome wagon, this is where we belong.” (from: “boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez)
“we have come a long way baby, but we have a hell of a long way.” (from: “boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez)
“self-identification appears to be the fairest criterion for inclusion, as it allows the individuals and not the organizers to make the decision of whether they will attend.” (from: “boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez)
“‘i heard you're bi, and i don’t play with bisexual women.’ ‘but you played with me already!’ my friend protested. ‘i know, but i wouldn't have played with you if you'd told me ahead of time.’ this sounds to me an awful lot like the ‘i don’t play with hiv-positive people’ rule that passes for a safe- sex strategy among some people. in fact, many bisexual women have heard from lesbians that they're play partners non grata because they might pass aids into the lesbian community. before hiv, it was herpes or gonorrhea. whatever the cootie, the bisexual woman has ’em by definition, while nobody even bothers to ask about things we have no phobias about—like blood transfusions.” (from: “bisexual perverts among the leather lesbians: some thoughts on border-crossing” by carol queen)
“i would argue, though, that no one should be forced to do any type of work he or she detests or finds degrading in order to keep food on the table. it is only antisex puritanism that makes such a strong distinction between sex work and other types of work (especially manual or service labor). those engaged in the sex-work debate must listen to sex workers and take us seriously when we say that we are competent adults making a rational choice among the available alternatives. the goal of those who are concerned about the lives of sex workers should be to empower these women (and men) and improve the conditions of their work—for example, in the areas of decriminalization and increased safety—and not to eliminate their livelihood.” (from: “my life as a dom” by liz highleyman, aka mistress veronika frost)
“being safe used to mean freedom from being assaulted. now being safe seems to mean freedom from being disagreed with, freedom from ever feeling uncomfortable with someone else’s actions.” (from: “sex, lies, and heteropatriarchy: the s/m debate at the michigan womyn’s musical festival” by rebecca dawn kaplan)
“arguments about banning s/m fail to distinguish among the possible traumas of three very different things: being coerced into doing s/m, unintentionally witnessing s/m, and knowing that others are engaging in s/m. s/m advocates put great effort into ensuring that both the first and the second do not happen.” (from: “sex, lies, and heteropatriarchy: the s/m debate at the michigan womyn’s musical festival” by rebecca dawn kaplan)
“what i see as the dysfunctional tendency in enforced monogamy is that it presupposes that all of anyone’s emotional, physical, and psychic and psychological needs can be met by only one other person.” (from: “speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn)
“we all get trapped in this thing of ‘i have to find someone to spend the rest of my life with!’ whether it’s a stated goal, a scorned dream, or both. the serious flaw in this pattern is the pervading sense that many people carry that if their relationships weren’t lifelong, the relationships—or they—somehow failed. it is only the enforced monogamy mind-set that defines a relationship as failed. the phrase ‘it just didn’t work out’ is really common when discussing a past relationship, but what is it that didn’t work? must all our inter-actions be judged on a pass-fail basis? isn’t the experience of these relation- ships the important part? to say that a relationship ‘didn’t work’ after having been together for any amount of time is to imply that nothing was learned from the experience and nobody ever had a good time.” (from: “speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn)
“the ability to choose whom we love, live with, and take care of is something that needs no limits from anyone else’s definitions or structures. family is something we get to choose, create, and evolve however we wish.” (from: “speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn)
content/trigger warnings; homophobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, biphobia, acephobia, complusory sexuality, misogyny, sex, kink/bdsm, sex work, kink-related discrimination, erotophobia, addiction, suicidal ideation, coming out, incarceration, rape, victim blaming, abortion of fetus with down’s, allonormativity, aphobia, surgery, gender/bio essentialism, cissexism, nonbinaryphobia, ableism, racism, antisemitism, fascism, violence, gun violence, harassment, drugging, physical abuse, psychological abuse, domestic abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse,
i totally skipped the fiction sections because i don’t care. and the poetry sections did nothing for me. i’m just here for the nonfiction. i love books like these, i’m all for reading about all different kinds of queer experiences and history. so here are some thoughts.
“dyke with a dick” by tala brandeis: super dated, questionable takes on being transgender, specifically about trans women needing to have gone through certain transitions and experiences in order to be able to take up space in women-only spaces and be accepted as women. and terms like “testosterone-ravaged male bodies” are used. it just feels icky and bio essentialist and “testosterone=bad.” like: “being a woman is more than an announcement to the world concurrent with a bit of cosmetic surgery and a few hormones.” come on. ew. i also i don’t agree that it’s necessary for trans people to come out to people before having a sexual relationship with them. not only could that put them in danger, but they don’t owe anyone a coming out.
“boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez: this one has a really good explanation of gender, sex, and sexuality. though it does come off a little bit like a “both sides” thing when it comes to trans people in women’s spaces. i agree that women only spaces should exist, but you don’t then get to say “oh no but not that kind of woman” ya know? and playing devil’s advocate for women who want to kick trans women out spaces they have every right to be in or nonbinary/transmasc people who identify with being a woman in some way or masc women or even trans men who grew up in women’s spaces and still feel a sense of community/connection and want to remain in those spaces they’ve always been in is shitty.
“bisexual perverts among the leather lesbians: some thoughts on border-crossing” by carol queen: it bothers me that the author talks about boundary crossing and everything that comes with that, but pitches a fit when someone who has sex with men and women doesn’t call themselves bisexual. you can’t be for boundary crossing if you’re upset when someone who has the same sexual behavior as you doesn’t use the same label you do. also, what’s with always italicizing queer or putting it in quotes??
“my life as a dom” by liz highleyman, aka mistress veronika frost: i’ve read bits and pieces of this author’s work before, through my pansexual research, and i generally enjoy it, and this is no different. an interesting exploration of s/m from the perspective of someone also involved in sex work. the author touches on her gender, saying, “throughout much of my life i have felt that i did not have much of an internal gender identity. i know that my body reflects what our culture labels as woman, but i don’t possess the sense that some transsexuals describe of ‘just knowing’ what body one belongs in. i have long thought that if woke up one day in a male body, i would be equally happy and would still be just as much ‘me.’” which i find suuuuper relatable. whenever i see the body swap trope and the characters are having like a meltdown or freak out about being in a different body, i’m always like....what’s the issue? i wouldn’t care. it wouldn’t be an issue for me. and not really having a sense of internal gender is something i rarely see expressed that i relate to. i don’t conceptualize gender the way everyone else, cis or trans or nonbinary, does. i’m not attached to anything and i don’t know what being x gender feels like. i’m just kind of indifferent about it all, and it’s cool to see at least some of that sentiment expressed.
“you’ve been naughty, you nasty girls” by alien nation: excellent commentary on lack of accessibility in s/m lesbian spaces
“united in ableism’s web” by mary frances platt: excellent commentary on wider ableism in lesbian s/m spaces
“unity in the community” by lamar van dyke: bio essentialism based separatism argument, with this line thrown in “i might disagree with you about bisexuality and the amount of energy that women are still putting into men” so a big old no thank you!
“sex, lies, and heteropatriarchy: the s/m debate at the michigan womyn’s musical festival” by rebecca dawn kaplan: i don’t like the “both sides” approach to this essay. “dyke s/m-ers are not the source of violence in the world and anti-s/m seps are not the reason that sexual repression exists” is kind of iffy to me. people privately participating in s/m does not contribute to violence against women, but people publicly spreading anti-s/m rhetoric actually are contributing to sexual repression, especially when the people you’re talking about are actively banning s/m groups from public spaces. it’s a “both sides” arguement that justifies anti-s/mers and downplays their impact while falsely equating it to s/m-ers reaction to their own oppression.
“speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn: interesting analysis of what family means and what it can look like, especially regarding s/m and nonmonogamy.
“contemplating porn, the liberator: a personal memoir/outlaw manifesto” by miriam laskin: i like the conversation about how masturbation and porn writing/watching/reading is acceptable or normal when it’s guys, but god forbid a woman partakes in it. but uh “i often like to be fucked real hard so that the next day, when my urethra is irritated and it feels like i gotta pee and i walk around sore inside all day, still i’m happy.” babe that’s a uti, let’s not.
“a house divided: violence in the lesbian s/m community” by patrick califia: very disappointed to see more bio essentialism about how even with being able to prove it, the author thinks violence, abuse, assault, etc. are “more of a problem” among gay and heterosexual s/mers than lesbian s/mers. and the atrocious victim blaming in saying if you’re in an abusive relationship and “allow it to continue” then you’re “aiding and abetting violence against that woman’s next partner” and that you can just “put a stop to it” because “many women have, some of them who were in even more danger than you.” like. what the fuck?
i don’t have thoughts on “a latina combat femme, her shoes, & ensuing cultural identity” by tatiana de la tierra, “sex and the single submissive” by drew kelly campbell, “ball and chain” by jezi strong, “contracts and contract negotiating” by lamar van dyke, and “electra, on the rocks: following the paradigm tides” by laura antoniou. “sex party savoir faire” by robin sweeney is very thorough, but i otherwise don’t have thoughts on. and i anticipated enjoying the analysis in “s/m symbols, fascists icons, and systems of empowerment” by linda wayne, but the way it’s written just did nothing for me.
quotes:
“when we first showed up at gay pride marches, some attempts were made to keep up out by mainstream gays who thought we made them look bad and by followers of outmoded feminist theories that made no distinction between s/m and violence. then for several years our presence was grudgingly accepted. but our right to partcipate in these events is being challenged once more. the new christian right loves to videotape people in leather and chains flogging one another, and they broadcast this footage when they try to pass laws denying gay citizens equal civil rights in colorado, oregon, washington, and other states. the leather community’s right to particpate in gay pride events is being threatened by mainstream gay politicos who don’t know how to talk to mom and pop about us and don’t particularly care to learn.” (from: “introduction”)
“for some it is just that, play: a fun and sometimes erotic exploration of power exchange. for others, explorations of our deep-seated and previously repressed emotions about gender identity and expression have led us to the discovery that gender is more than just a hot sexual fantasy. it is the core of our lives and of our beings. some of us have cut through our own veil of denial and started taking male hormones. we run the gamut of human existence, coming from all walks of life, races, sexual orientations, and spiritualities. some prefer to be called ftm, while others prefer the term transgendered. we call ourselves queer, lesbian, gay, pansexual, bisexual, heterosexual, or any other phrase that more adequately describes us. in some cases we are asexual by force or choice. some require strict adherence to the ‘proper’ gender pronouns. others could care less. some believe that they are strictly and there is no room for anything else within them. others believe that they are all of both or neither of either—a third gender, so to speak, pioneers in their own fashion who must navigate the waters of a turbulent bipolar society in which one is forced to choose the gender box one will reside in. some ftms have left our community and not looked back. others staunchly believe that this community is our home and that despite a change in the welcome wagon, this is where we belong.” (from: “boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez)
“we have come a long way baby, but we have a hell of a long way.” (from: “boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez)
“self-identification appears to be the fairest criterion for inclusion, as it allows the individuals and not the organizers to make the decision of whether they will attend.” (from: “boundaries: gender and transgenderism” by michael m. hernandez)
“‘i heard you're bi, and i don’t play with bisexual women.’ ‘but you played with me already!’ my friend protested. ‘i know, but i wouldn't have played with you if you'd told me ahead of time.’ this sounds to me an awful lot like the ‘i don’t play with hiv-positive people’ rule that passes for a safe- sex strategy among some people. in fact, many bisexual women have heard from lesbians that they're play partners non grata because they might pass aids into the lesbian community. before hiv, it was herpes or gonorrhea. whatever the cootie, the bisexual woman has ’em by definition, while nobody even bothers to ask about things we have no phobias about—like blood transfusions.” (from: “bisexual perverts among the leather lesbians: some thoughts on border-crossing” by carol queen)
“i would argue, though, that no one should be forced to do any type of work he or she detests or finds degrading in order to keep food on the table. it is only antisex puritanism that makes such a strong distinction between sex work and other types of work (especially manual or service labor). those engaged in the sex-work debate must listen to sex workers and take us seriously when we say that we are competent adults making a rational choice among the available alternatives. the goal of those who are concerned about the lives of sex workers should be to empower these women (and men) and improve the conditions of their work—for example, in the areas of decriminalization and increased safety—and not to eliminate their livelihood.” (from: “my life as a dom” by liz highleyman, aka mistress veronika frost)
“being safe used to mean freedom from being assaulted. now being safe seems to mean freedom from being disagreed with, freedom from ever feeling uncomfortable with someone else’s actions.” (from: “sex, lies, and heteropatriarchy: the s/m debate at the michigan womyn’s musical festival” by rebecca dawn kaplan)
“arguments about banning s/m fail to distinguish among the possible traumas of three very different things: being coerced into doing s/m, unintentionally witnessing s/m, and knowing that others are engaging in s/m. s/m advocates put great effort into ensuring that both the first and the second do not happen.” (from: “sex, lies, and heteropatriarchy: the s/m debate at the michigan womyn’s musical festival” by rebecca dawn kaplan)
“what i see as the dysfunctional tendency in enforced monogamy is that it presupposes that all of anyone’s emotional, physical, and psychic and psychological needs can be met by only one other person.” (from: “speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn)
“we all get trapped in this thing of ‘i have to find someone to spend the rest of my life with!’ whether it’s a stated goal, a scorned dream, or both. the serious flaw in this pattern is the pervading sense that many people carry that if their relationships weren’t lifelong, the relationships—or they—somehow failed. it is only the enforced monogamy mind-set that defines a relationship as failed. the phrase ‘it just didn’t work out’ is really common when discussing a past relationship, but what is it that didn’t work? must all our inter-actions be judged on a pass-fail basis? isn’t the experience of these relation- ships the important part? to say that a relationship ‘didn’t work’ after having been together for any amount of time is to imply that nothing was learned from the experience and nobody ever had a good time.” (from: “speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn)
“the ability to choose whom we love, live with, and take care of is something that needs no limits from anyone else’s definitions or structures. family is something we get to choose, create, and evolve however we wish.” (from: “speaking of family: some pollyanna words about polyfidelity” by joi wolfwomyn)
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August 11, 2023☹️
January 23, 2008
meow. i was very, very sad to lose this to the man-made disaster of '05.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews