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How to Beg for Cigarettes
How to Beg for Cigarettes provides "Laugh-a-mile-a-minute" storytelling from Inner City entrepreneurs.
The hilarious, sidesplitting novel "How to Beg for Cigarettes" has just been released by Virtualbookworm.com. The author, Matt Ponticello, drew from his personal experiences and actual events to write this uproarious, exaggerated comedy that follows his exploits through the streets and alleyways of America's inner cities.
Ponticello's "How to Beg for Cigarettes" is a must-read for business owners, or anyone who has ever had even the slightest aspiration about opening a small business. Most people believe having your own business is a walk in the park. Sure, it can be, if it's a charming little donut shop located in a quaint little country town totally out of the loop. Well, it's not so in this case! Matt Ponticello retires early from the comfort and security of the corporate world and opens an auto body repair shop deep in the city.
"Yeah, take a walk in the park around here," he explains, "That's if you can find one; and see how long you last before you're mugged for cigarettes and loose change."
So begins "How to Beg for Cigarettes," the story of one business owner's "laugh-a-mile-a-minute" romp through the bowels of the inner city, where he finds a real and sometimes surreal cast of characters; with a city, a business, and a staff of employees to match. Amidst the daily dangers and confrontations in this harsh environment, he struggles with his own personal battle - whether to stay in business and suffer an inevitable nervous breakdown or return to the calm of retirement.
From petty theft to murder, Ponticello searches for the humor and "good" in even the worst-case scenarios, taking a romantic pride in the city's dangers - genuine and predictable - and approaches a six-block walk for coffee every morning as if it's an epic adventure filled with peril.
The hilarious, sidesplitting novel "How to Beg for Cigarettes" has just been released by Virtualbookworm.com. The author, Matt Ponticello, drew from his personal experiences and actual events to write this uproarious, exaggerated comedy that follows his exploits through the streets and alleyways of America's inner cities.
Ponticello's "How to Beg for Cigarettes" is a must-read for business owners, or anyone who has ever had even the slightest aspiration about opening a small business. Most people believe having your own business is a walk in the park. Sure, it can be, if it's a charming little donut shop located in a quaint little country town totally out of the loop. Well, it's not so in this case! Matt Ponticello retires early from the comfort and security of the corporate world and opens an auto body repair shop deep in the city.
"Yeah, take a walk in the park around here," he explains, "That's if you can find one; and see how long you last before you're mugged for cigarettes and loose change."
So begins "How to Beg for Cigarettes," the story of one business owner's "laugh-a-mile-a-minute" romp through the bowels of the inner city, where he finds a real and sometimes surreal cast of characters; with a city, a business, and a staff of employees to match. Amidst the daily dangers and confrontations in this harsh environment, he struggles with his own personal battle - whether to stay in business and suffer an inevitable nervous breakdown or return to the calm of retirement.
From petty theft to murder, Ponticello searches for the humor and "good" in even the worst-case scenarios, taking a romantic pride in the city's dangers - genuine and predictable - and approaches a six-block walk for coffee every morning as if it's an epic adventure filled with peril.
- GenresNonfiction
288 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2011
1 person is currently reading
391 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
December 14, 2011
When John Steinbeck published Cannery Row in 1945 and its sequel Sweet Thursday 15 years later, he found humour and pathos in a cast of down and outs: homeless people, misfits, con men and prostitutes.
Don't get me wrong. How to Beg for Cigarettes , isn't crafted by a master like Steinbeck.
You might say it's a bit rough around the edges - but it does ring the same bells and it's a gem that would sparkle even more with some polish.
Steinbeck, like most of us, used personal experiences as his foundation in those novels of his.
Matt Ponticello's story is even more autobiographical.
He tells the story of how he came to run an auto (there's that word again) body shop in the pressure-cooker of an inner-city location inhabited by a cast of characters too varied and interesting to make up: homeless people, down and outs, misfits, con men and prostitutes. Sound familiar?
Give this book a chance. You won't be disappointed.
Don't get me wrong. How to Beg for Cigarettes , isn't crafted by a master like Steinbeck.
You might say it's a bit rough around the edges - but it does ring the same bells and it's a gem that would sparkle even more with some polish.
Steinbeck, like most of us, used personal experiences as his foundation in those novels of his.
Matt Ponticello's story is even more autobiographical.
He tells the story of how he came to run an auto (there's that word again) body shop in the pressure-cooker of an inner-city location inhabited by a cast of characters too varied and interesting to make up: homeless people, down and outs, misfits, con men and prostitutes. Sound familiar?
Give this book a chance. You won't be disappointed.
December 14, 2011
When John Steinbeck published Cannery Row in 1945 and its sequel Sweet Thursday 15 years later, he found humour and pathos in a cast of down and outs: homeless people, misfits, con men and prostitutes.
Don't get me wrong. How to Beg for Cigarettes , isn't crafted by a master like Steinbeck.
You might say it's a bit rough around the edges - but it does ring the same bells and it's a gem that would sparkle even more with some polish.
Steinbeck, like most of us, used personal experiences as his foundation in those novels of his.
Matt Ponticello's story is even more autobiographical.
He tells the story of how he came to run an auto (there's that word again) body shop in the pressure-cooker of an inner-city location inhabited by a cast of characters too varied and interesting to make up: homeless people, down and outs, misfits, con men and prostitutes. Sound familiar?
Give this book a chance. You won't be disappointed.
Don't get me wrong. How to Beg for Cigarettes , isn't crafted by a master like Steinbeck.
You might say it's a bit rough around the edges - but it does ring the same bells and it's a gem that would sparkle even more with some polish.
Steinbeck, like most of us, used personal experiences as his foundation in those novels of his.
Matt Ponticello's story is even more autobiographical.
He tells the story of how he came to run an auto (there's that word again) body shop in the pressure-cooker of an inner-city location inhabited by a cast of characters too varied and interesting to make up: homeless people, down and outs, misfits, con men and prostitutes. Sound familiar?
Give this book a chance. You won't be disappointed.
November 22, 2011
In this extraordinary book you step into the life of a man who has decided to open an auto-body shop in the heart of the inner city. The neighborhood is so bad, his building has no owner, and he therefore has no rent to pay. Drug dealers, prostitutes, homeless people and gang members drop in to the shop and make getting to and from work a daily adventure. But hold on, ditch your preconceptions. The author devotes a chapter or more to every one of these people, and by the time you have read two or three of these portraits, you are hooked.
Although he's not an easy touch, Ponticello, whose book is in large part autobiographical, gives away nearly all of his cigarettes. The so-called low-lifes of the world are not only his friends, they are his customers and employees. His chief mechanic is a Honduran illegal who speaks only Spanish, and this man's assistants are a gang of boys who you know are up to no good. Ponticello gives them all a job, and more than that a purpose. In exchange they give him their loyalty, respect and love.
His neighbors, the bail bondsman Calloway, the lawyer Melendez, and the tow truck driver Vinnie are people he does business with daily. It's surprising how the auto-body shop can turn into the center of this little universe. Vinnie tows in work to be done. The lawyer defends the drug dealers whose cars get confiscated when they get busted, and often as not need a repair job. The bail bondsman gets them out of jail.
The homeless are like pigeons. Why? Because when Angelo the diner owner goes out the door and empties his ashtray onto the sidewalk, the homeless come running to fight over the butts that might have one or two smokes left in them.
The voluptuous Romanian Juliska sells "loosies," single cigarettes, for fifty cents a pop, and don't ask which brand. When Ponticello helps a fat man who has fallen get back to his feet, the fat man asks him for a cigarette to calm his nerves. Ponticello makes the mistake of shaking one up out of the pack and holding up the pack. The fat man steals the whole pack and runs away down the sidewalk, much to the amusement of Juliska. She informs him it's another homeless person, this one unknown to Ponticello.
What ties them all together is on one level cigarettes. This is a cigarette economy, in which cigarettes are like money. It provides a way for the characters in this world to purchase, give away, steal, or beg. They also give people a currency for communicating with each other. On the street, cigarettes are like a common lingo. Even more than cigarettes themselves, though, it's that craven need for them that reveals people's humanity on the street, and that ties them together in this story, and it's all the neverending instances of giving and taking and the petty negotiations and the bullshitting, too.
The book is written beautifully but not flawlessly, like the people who inhabit it. I listened to the book on my Kindle for the most part; when I read it, my eyes were distracted by spelling errors here and there. Nevertheless, this book is to the inner city in America what Dominique LaPierre's book City of Joy is to the slums of Calcutta. If you are ready to immerse yourself in that world and feel its beauty and power, you will definitely want to read it.
Although he's not an easy touch, Ponticello, whose book is in large part autobiographical, gives away nearly all of his cigarettes. The so-called low-lifes of the world are not only his friends, they are his customers and employees. His chief mechanic is a Honduran illegal who speaks only Spanish, and this man's assistants are a gang of boys who you know are up to no good. Ponticello gives them all a job, and more than that a purpose. In exchange they give him their loyalty, respect and love.
His neighbors, the bail bondsman Calloway, the lawyer Melendez, and the tow truck driver Vinnie are people he does business with daily. It's surprising how the auto-body shop can turn into the center of this little universe. Vinnie tows in work to be done. The lawyer defends the drug dealers whose cars get confiscated when they get busted, and often as not need a repair job. The bail bondsman gets them out of jail.
The homeless are like pigeons. Why? Because when Angelo the diner owner goes out the door and empties his ashtray onto the sidewalk, the homeless come running to fight over the butts that might have one or two smokes left in them.
The voluptuous Romanian Juliska sells "loosies," single cigarettes, for fifty cents a pop, and don't ask which brand. When Ponticello helps a fat man who has fallen get back to his feet, the fat man asks him for a cigarette to calm his nerves. Ponticello makes the mistake of shaking one up out of the pack and holding up the pack. The fat man steals the whole pack and runs away down the sidewalk, much to the amusement of Juliska. She informs him it's another homeless person, this one unknown to Ponticello.
What ties them all together is on one level cigarettes. This is a cigarette economy, in which cigarettes are like money. It provides a way for the characters in this world to purchase, give away, steal, or beg. They also give people a currency for communicating with each other. On the street, cigarettes are like a common lingo. Even more than cigarettes themselves, though, it's that craven need for them that reveals people's humanity on the street, and that ties them together in this story, and it's all the neverending instances of giving and taking and the petty negotiations and the bullshitting, too.
The book is written beautifully but not flawlessly, like the people who inhabit it. I listened to the book on my Kindle for the most part; when I read it, my eyes were distracted by spelling errors here and there. Nevertheless, this book is to the inner city in America what Dominique LaPierre's book City of Joy is to the slums of Calcutta. If you are ready to immerse yourself in that world and feel its beauty and power, you will definitely want to read it.
December 27, 2012
From the very first paragraph, I knew this book would be a challenge to get through. The prose are poorly written and don't look like they were ever revised beyond the first draft. Not to mention the convoluted sentences that are sometimes completely contradictory within themselves. The narrative jumps nonsensically around between character vignettes and "this one time..." stories with no driving plot (in the first quarter of the book) except a guy headed to work at the auto-body shop he owns. With some healthy editing, maybe this could have been good... As it is, I couldn't make it past the first 25 percent.
December 22, 2011
I won this book from one of the giveaway drawings. I was very excited to receive it and I have to admit I was not disappointed. I found the book easy to read and funny. Not my usual choice of books but I liked it. It was so descriptive that I could imagine myself being there and walking next to the main character as he took me through his day. I can't identify with the lives of the characters as they are so far from my own but I feel their descriptions were completely realistic. I would recommend this to my friends.
PS- Throughout reading I could feel my lungs tightening and smelled smoke even though I am not a smoker and I don't know anyone who is! That is how descriptive this book was.
PS- Throughout reading I could feel my lungs tightening and smelled smoke even though I am not a smoker and I don't know anyone who is! That is how descriptive this book was.
January 28, 2012
Won book on GoodReads, thanks. Just finished reading "HOW TO BEG FOR CIGARETTES" and I loved it!!!! From page one, I was laughing. I would go from laughing to almost crying then back to laughing. Very good book and very good telling of the 'real world' in a city. Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to read this book.
March 11, 2013
I won a copy of this novel from the author in a Goodreads First Reads giveaway. This novel was a series of humorous vignettes surrounding the life of Matt after he opened an auto body shop in the inner city. To write it, the author drew on personal experience so I kept wondering how much of it was actually true! An enjoyable read.
April 7, 2017
Sorry Matt, but this is terrible! All I can think is that only your friends have rated your book. No story continuity. Character development almost non-existent. Couldn't identify with anyone. Couldn't finish it.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews