You Can Never Get Enough Of What You Don't Need: The Quest For Contentment

by Mary Ellen Edmunds

How much is enough? Why does it seem we are always looking for more? In her wonderfully unique style, author Mary Ellen Edmunds suggests that You Can Never Get Enough of What You Don’t Need because what you don’t need never satisfies. "I can have a house filled with stuff and things, but if it’s not what I need, it will never satisfy me, no matter how much I have," she observes. Have you noticed that the happiness we equate with abundance often eludes both those who get what they want in life and those who don’t? This eye-opening treasure hunt of a book will help you find the secret to living with contentment.

Genres: Nonfiction, Lds, Self Help, Religion, Church, Inspirational, Psychology

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2005

About the author

Mary Ellen Edmunds has served as director of training at the Missionary Training Center and as a member of the Relief Society general board. She graduated from the College of Nursing at Brigham Young University, has been a faculty member at BYU, and has served several full-time missions. A popular speaker, she is also the author of Happiness: Finders, Keepers; Love Is a Verb; and Thoughts for a Bad Hair Day.

Reviews

[Sabrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. It's not amazingly written or anything but it really made me think about how I spend my money and where it goes. It also made me want to recycle more because Pres. Hinckley said this is probably the "most wasteful generation."

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all need to read this book about once a month. I love her...and generally I steer clear of the whole churchy book thing (unless it is, you know, those things called the scriptures). Mary Ellen Edmunds is so stinkin' awesome. Love her.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Never read anything by this author but would like to read her stuff again! I have learned so much about myself in this book. I would like to re-read it again.

[Rae · Rating 5 out of 5]

MEE tackles the topic of materialism and our attachment to stuff in this modern age. A most pleasant LDS read.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very fun, yet insightful read, and a great platform for launching your own personal quest for contentment. I also found this book an excellent addition to my study into the word itself.
I enjoyed MEE's loving and faith-filled perspective along with her sweet and silly tone she expresses herself with as she describes any lacking of perfection she divulges about her own self. The stories she tells herein are priceless. Some may bring tears to your eyes. But there are many laughs throughout its pages.
The power of this book is two-fold in that she quotes truth spoken by prophets in all ages, and explains throughout the book that the use and accumulation of temporal wealth is a good thing--when done in the right attitude. Part of why I found the latter fold so powerful was because it was balanced with her cautionary notes about avoiding the "large & spacious building". Defensive justification for accumulating earthly wealth seems to me to be a sign that something is askew, and gives me cause to worry (for myself and others I love). If we walk too close to the foundation-less walls, tantalized and attracted by that building's attributes more than the promises God has in store for us after this life, then we need a serious pause and time to reflect on what life is really all about.

[Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had tried reading this a couple of years ago, but it was just painful to work through it, so I stopped. I've seen Edmunds speak at conferences; she's engaging and fun. But her books read like she speaks, with lots of random asides and funny bits thrown in. While this totally works for her as a speaker, it can leave you feeling a bit scattered as you read. She even acknowledges as much in this book by saying something like, "I hope you can understand what I mean even when I muck it up with a bunch of nonsense."

This time around though, I really *did* understand and love the message of the book, even with all of the extras. I'm thinking now that maybe I just wasn't ready to hear it before. It has really been permeating my thinking ever since I finished...The message: Enjoy life and the many things it has to offer, but find peace and contentment with less, with love, with gratitude.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

so fantastic! When we moved half way across the world, I got rid of a lot of "stuff"- I have never missed any of it- however, I feel like I have acquired "stuff" once again. I really think gratitude and contentment go hand in hand, as the author points out, I am working daily on this. I want to appreciate each day and look at it as a gift of choices. This book was fun to read, easy to understand, full of scriptures as well as quotes by Apostles amd Prophets, to support all that the author was saying. I like that contentment can be RIGHT now and not a future idea- Thanks to Tammy for sending it to me for Christmas!

[Quirky Shauna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked her definition of contentment – tranquil happiness.
My other favorite section is attributed to Karen Lynn. I'd like to manage my time better instead of being sucked in my solitaire.

*Guilt is not born of leisure but of idleness.

*Idleness puts us in a passive role, whereas leisure usually calls on us to participate mentally or physically or creatively;

*idleness merely passes time, whereas leisure fills personal needs;

*idleness occupies us, but leisure renews us;

* we put the responsibility for filling our idle time on something outside ourselves, whereas we look within ourselves for our leisure.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend gave me this book right after I had the twins and I was a little surprised at her choice of books as ths is a book about not being materialistic and since I haven't worked in a few years I consider myself anything but materialistic since the money just isn't there to be materialistic. After reading this I realized that even though I didn't have a lot of material possessions I could still have a materialistic attitude and every time I start to feel sorry for myself and think I have to do without I do a re-read to remind me of what is truly important.

[Brooke · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lot of good advice... definitely a lot to think about while reading and after. I felt this book wasn't very well-written. There was a lot of rambling and she went off on a lot of tangents. She had all these random stories or phrases just kind of thrown in there that made you feel as if she was writing the book for close friends who share inside jokes rather than for a broad, unknown audience.

That being said, there was still a lot of really good points and some how-to activities to help your family practice or discuss some of the issues raised in the book.

[Tamhack · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mary Ellen Edmunds (MEE) gives us something to think about in this materialistic world and reminds us that contentment doesn't come with Stuff.
Some of the items she says that will bring contentment:
1. attitude--
2. a joy- quiet reflective joy
3. gratitude
4. Finding the will of God and doing it
5. Becoming closer to Christ and Heavenly Father
6. Knowing the Gospel; the plan of salvation
7. Keep things simple
8. Enjoy-enjoy our blessings
9. Remember to take time out for leisure but don't be idle
10. Keeping the law of the fast and consecration
11. Keeping the commandments/righteous living

[Tammy King Carlton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a small handful of books that have actually changed me when I was done reading them. This is in the top 3. The light this sheds on the accumulation of "things", and our need to "have", set against the deprivation that exists through out the world, and helps you decide once and for all what exactly you need in order to be content. And it isn't "things".
I saw my life differently after I read this.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was my book group's choice for last month. I didn't get very far with it and don't think that I'll finish it. I am a very discontented person by nature, so I should read it, but what I didn't like about it was that there wasn't a whole lot of help offered. It talked about different areas of life that we need to seek contentment in but other than that, the help was missing. Basically it boiled down to live the gospel and find happiness in that.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was another good book by MEE. Part of this book focuses on becoming content with and grateful for the material things we have, with also some discussion of cleaning out your house and getting things organized. But this book also focuses on gaining contentment in life by living the gospel that will bring ultimate peace and contentment. This isn't one of my very favorite MEE books, but it was still enjoyable and uplifting and made me want to be better in these areas.

[Kevan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary Ellen Edmunds(MEE), hummm, what can I say that she hasn't already said? She is one of the funniest ladies that I have ever met.

In a hunmorous, light-hearted way she reminds us that this life is not about collecting STUFF!

STUFF does not, nor will it ever bring happiness, it only brings the need to try to organize all the stuff you accumulate. Everyone knows you can't organize stuff. It just becomes matter-unorganized. (MEE's definition not mine)

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book allowed me to realize that we are quite a self indulgent people in most instances. It was made quite apparant through humerous examples, that most of us have more than enough. In most cases, several of many items.
What does it mean to be content? Do we live in a world where more is better? Hmmmmm !

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite authors...she's always so optimistic about life. I love it! Her optimism can't help but rub off on you as you read. This particular book is about being content without what the world would say you need to have (all these material goods) There's so much more to life, and this book helps you to put things in perspective.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I need to re-read this book every few months to give me perspective. I love Mary Ellen Edmunds. She is a very talented and entertaining author. This book is an eye-opening lesson in "the grass is always greener on the other side." She explains that we often think we need all kinds of stuff only we aren't happy when we accumulate all that stuff. She teaches the way to true happiness.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book about the excess we have in our homes. It really opened my eyes about some areas of my home where there are boxes of stuff I really don’t need. This is a book that is so full of great information that I know I will read it again


I am reading it again! There are many new things I am learning the second time around.

[Alisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I read this book because one of my favorite talks of all time was by this same author. The book was good, and there were definitely some chapters I made notes about, but a couple of chapters were boring. I don't know that there was anything in here I didn't already know, but it was a good reminder of what we really need to be content. You really don't need as much as you think you do.

[Aubrey]

Well, I tried to read it, but just couldn't get into it. The chatty tone was hard for me to cope with, plus much of the book (at least through the first few chapters) was, "My friend said ..." and "My other friend said ..."

I'm sure some would love it and I'm sure the message is probably great, but I just couldn't get past the tone.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE this book!! Good reminder of what stuff is, and once you get something you think you need, you just choose something else. Stuff never will satisfy...it is only for a minute. She uses scripture and life examples to point this out and how to find contentment. Her stories are funny and powerful!!

[Rachel Robins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Mary Ellen Edmunds, she is optimisc, entertaining and wise. This was a good book, not earth-shattering, but she puts a different twist on what I know. I wished this was on audio, I prefer to listen to her rather than read her because she is a great speaker.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Mary Ellen Edmunds. She is a fantastic author, speaker and woman. And she cracks me up like no other LDS author can. This book is about stuff, and how it will not bring contentment to our lives. Simple concept, but very much worth reading. I learned a lot and laughed.

[Christie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had so many great quotes and examples! I think I would like to own this book so I can refer to it over and over, because I need to. It seemed a little random to me at first, but the more I got to understand Mary Ellen Edmunds, the more I enjoyed it.

[Jeannie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very inspiring! Four stars instead of five only because some of her humor is a little cheesy in written from and would be better presented orally. Definitely made for an LDS audience, but has many wise and thoughtful words to consider.

[Peggy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book! As a self-diagnosed shopping addict, it was so great! It's funny because I checked the book out from the library and as soon as I read it, my first thought was:"I NEED this book!"

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helps to get a perspective on what you really do and do not need.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read parts of this book and have listened to parts on a CD. I love Mary Ellen. She's so much fun in real life too! This title in particular is such an important theme.

[Robyn]

one of my favorite speakers and writers!