The Love Everybody Wants: What You're Looking For Is Already Yours

by Madison Prewett Troutt, Audrey Roloff (Foreword)

Speaker and bestselling author Madison Prewett Troutt shows you how embracing God’s love allows you to truly love yourself and cultivate deep, meaningful relationships.

“Packed with incredibly wise, practical insights and biblical truths, this book will help you find the love that lasts and transforms lives.”—Craig and Amy Groeschel, founding pastors of Life. Church and authors of From This Day Forward

Is there something wrong with me? How many more wrong ones until the right one? Am I hard to love?

Madison Prewett Troutt knows what it’s like to ask these questions in the middle of the night—to doubt and worry about never finding the love so desperately hoped for. But Madi has discovered a deeper truth now, that the love we’re searching for is already ours.

In The Love Everybody Wants, Madi sets aside the shallow messages our culture shouts every day to help us hear God’s beautiful I have loved you with an everlasting love. And nothing will ever change that.

Drawing from Scripture and stories from her own life, Madi invites us to embrace God’s unconditional love so we can love ourselves well—and never settle for less. The Love Everybody Wants empowers you to

• view relationships in whole, holy, and healthy ways
• rely on biblical strategies for healing when your heart is hurting
• overcome lies such as “I have to follow my heart and feelings above all else”
• understand that a life partner is meant to complement you, not complete you
• look to your future with joy—because you were made to love

This isn’t a manual for how to get a boyfriend or a manifesto for getting married. It’s a book about the abundant love already at your fingertips—the love God has for you. The love that lasts forever, the love that changes everything. The love everybody wants.

Genres: Christian, Faith, Audiobook, Self Help, Nonfiction, Religion, Relationships

240 pages, Hardcover

Published September 19, 2023

Reviews

[Karlin McGarvey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to this on audible bc Kara had some extra credits and I like to listen to books while getting ready in the morning. This one was only like 4.5 hours worth so super short! I feel like it was pretty surface level which I anticipated, good message though. I feel like as hard as I try to see past it, something about Madi seems disingenuous. But she loves Jesus and that’s all that really matters! I did find it interesting though there was a whole chapter about feeling peace in decisions and I just listened to one of Jackie Hill Perry’s lil videos about how feeling peace is subjective and that we as Christians rely on it too heavily. Probably some nuance to this and I don’t think either message is wrong! Just interesting!

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

VERY surface level. Would suggest skipping out on this one as most of the content she covers is common sense. Would not recommend to anyone.

[Melanie Moreira · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Madison says in this book "this is a safe space" and it really is a safe space. As a Christian who always had a lot of difficulties with relationships around me, I felt super safe and NEVER judged while reading this book. I've known the author since The Bachelor and to see her evolution to this day is amazing. I see the services she does in church and it always inspires me to be better. I read this book almost like a devotional and it was one of the best reading decisions I have made. I recommend this book to everyone. Not only to Christians, but also to those who feel that something is missing in their lives and in their relationships. I have already bought the author's first book and I am sure I will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed this one. Also, in the last pages, Madi shows us her wedding vows to Grant and I got a tear in the corner of my eye. I already have a love like this too, but her book really helped me fortify my primary relationship. My relationship with God.

[Rebekah Garber · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, this is your sign to read this book, but even if you don’t that’s okay because you’ll probably hear me quote from it until the day I die.

Hands down, the best & most transformative book I’ve ever read in my entire life. For the past 6 months, I have slowly read, taken notes on, and prayed through each chapter of this book.
I’ll keep it short and sweet because phew I could write a whole book on how this book, alongside of the Bible ofc, has drastically impacted and provided me with wisdom through this season of life and so many more to come.

As Madi always ties back to, truly rejection is redirection for God’s best for your life, and man is she right 👏 If you love a good one-liner, read this book, and if you’re like me, you’ll end up with a list of fifty. The beauty in this book is that Madi is SO real and open with her pretty crazy life experiences, but she always ties back to the truth that every single thing we are looking for in this world and in relationships can be found in Jesus alone. I also love how practical this book is in giving a list of things to look for in a future godly relationship, how to make the most of your singleness, reasons to fight for purity, how to look at rejection and closed doors as protection from God, etc. If you’re a list girlie, this book is for you.

However, as I write this review, I think the coolest thing about this book is that as I was reading through, I realized that as much as I get wisdom and insight from Madi’s experiences, truly the Bible and word of God is the best book and source of truth on the love we desire and what we should look for in our relationships.
Is 6 stars an option?

[Ruthie Brown · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly. I was expecting more- I give this 2 stars bc I would recommend this to like a junior high girl. But it was surface level and all of her examples are from when she was in middle school or high school or rushed a sorority and didn’t get picked. This book is also all about dating- I was hoping it would be more about God’s love with more scripture and dives into how that is the love we ACTUALLY want- but it was all about her high school dating life and then surface level stories about dating Grant. Idk - sue me but I appreciate the intention and I think it could be good for some one especially if you don’t want to read about hard things and would rather read something more innocent and surface level. I just did not like it- it just felt like she had a pretty easy life and idk didn’t feel authentic to me.

[Amber Pupel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m thankful for Madi’s vulnerability! It’s not easy to tell many of the stories that she told, so I respect her even more for it. She shared SO much wisdom that I needed to hear. My favorite part of the book was the perspective shifts and insights from when she wrote various parts of the book in her season of singleness, engagement, and marriage. All in all, I highly recommend this book to the girlies!! 💌 (& I have the paperback if you see this and would like to borrow it!)

[Lauren Curtis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was such a fruitful time for me. There are so many things I could say, but I’m going to leave at this. No matter what season you’re in… EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK! I also loved the videos and voice memos at the end of each chapter. Everything about this book was so encouraging and just what I needed right now. Thank you Madi and Grant for the hardworking you put into this book and the extra content.

[Ainsley Steinbrueck · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the rawness & truth that Madi has in her books! This topic is much needed in our world today. I especially enjoyed the chapters on Holiness & What to look for in a spouse. (I don’t really recommend reading it right after her first book because there was some overlap).

‘when you live out of lack you will grasp at everything you can’
‘Living confident because I am comfortable in who I am not’
‘all expectations are unrealistic if they are not communicated’

[Brianna Crittenden · Rating 2 out of 5]

I give it a 2.5 ⭐️ Madi was one of my favs when she was on The Bachelor so I thought I’d give it a listen. This book wasn’t all that relevant to my personal stage of life/where I’m at spiritually, but I was curious as to what she had to say. Overall, I thought it was kinda cheesy at times, fairly repetitive, and I didn’t align with all of her theology and stances.

[Cynthia · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5/5

[Daniela Felipe · Rating 1 out of 5]

Superficial and bland, though I’m probably not the target audience for this book so take my review at face value.

[Peyton Abernathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS BOOK WAS SO GOOD AND I WOULD RECOMMEND IT TO ANY AND EVERYONE!!

Madison articulates how, even though we often yearn for and desire a romantic relationship, the ultimate love is ALREADY OURS!! The way she talks about how we can be fulfilled through God is truly beautiful. Never will we be fulfilled by a girlfriend or boyfriend, but only through relationship with Christ.

The way the book talks about finding your identity in Christ alone is also so beautiful! I may or may not have cried at the end lol.

Some of my favorite parts of the book:

“His love is the love everybody wants. And it’s already ours. I honestly think if we understood even a fraction of how much God loves us, we wouldn’t hesitate to drop everything that distracts us from Him and serve Him wildly.

“God’s love is the foundation of all others. His is the love you were made from and made for. If you don’t know Him, if you don’t know why you were created, you’ll never get other relationships right. After all, we can love as we were created to only if we are connected to the true and main source of love- God.”

“Because if the purpose of my life is to know God and make him known, then one of my top priorities in dating and ultimately marriage was to unite with someone who would help me know God more and make Him known more to the world.”

[Janae · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a simple, well written, wholesome book of truths. It’s written for women, particularly those struggling with dating and self-worth, however, it contains truths that apply to everyone. It centers around these ideas:

1. God’s love for you and your relationship with Him is more important than anything else.

2. God’s love should be the backbone and template for our relationships with ourselves and other people (romantic or not).

This book covers heavy topics in a positive and uplifting way. These include God’s love for us, self-worth, red flags in yourself and a partner, the fallibility as well as value of emotions, shame and guilt from mistakes, rejection and being single, maintaining high but reasonable standards, positive views of ended relationships, and hope for the future.

The book was loaned to me after the end of a relationship. I wish I had read it at the start of the relationship, although it would not have been as impactful. It felt like the author was speaking to me and my relationship; I learned some tough but positive lessons. I highly recommend if you are going through a breakup, questioning what love is or how to love others, doubting your worth, wanting to prepare yourself for a future relationship, or wishing to improve a current relationship.

Below are many of many more passages that impacted me.
_____________________________________

• “To try to make a relationship work without God as its leader is like playing for a bad coach. You have no direction other than your fallible, culturally influenced human minds. And even though we are well intentioned, we don’t know how to love each other well… We need someone to look to in times of doubt, times of conflict, and times of temptation to make us better than we would be on our own.”

• “[God] wants to have a relationship with you… With him, you don’t have to ask, “Does he love me? Even after all I’ve done?” The answer will always be “He loves you. He loves you always.””

• “One day he turned to me and said, “Madi, you’re always looking at what you’re not getting, but do you ever look at what you’re giving? You expect so much but give so little!” Ouch. That was a wake-up call for me. …check yourself. Are you giving as much as you’re taking? Are you treating the guys you’re dating like they’re children of God?”

• “A partner in life is meant to complement you, not complete you… A complement is an independent but appreciated addition. It says, “I don’t need you in order to be whole, but I want you because you add value to my life.””

• “…relationships are made up of two imperfect people, so there will be hurt, misunderstanding, risk, and possibly even loss.”

• “I can be so impulsive and reactionary… I can often lack deliberation in how I live—by choosing my words, responses, and actions all based on how I feel in the moment. …there are going to be moments when our feelings will contradict our values or commitments… Emotions make terrible leaders because emotions are inconsistent. They change. They become more or less intense. …[Love] has less to do with how we feel and more to do with how we serve.”

• “The love that our hearts were designed for is not the kind of love that is based on circumstances or chemistry but the kind of love that says, “No matter what, I will choose you.” Love is a choice demonstrated by consistent action.”

• “”Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling.” Because you can’t take it back once it’s been done. And often in the heat of the moment, our feelings can be crazy and reckless.”

• “A lot of us allow our feelings to lead us down some dangerous paths. When we don’t feel like loving a particular person, we don’t. When we don’t feel like fighting for our relationships, we don’t. When we feel like saying something out of anger, we say it. When we feel like leaving, we do. When we feel like cheating, we do. When we feel hurt by the other person, we repay them by withholding our love or even hurting them back. These are moments in relationships when feelings can be dangerous and can cost you something you may not want to give up.”

• “If we believe we can’t be loved, we will find it impossible to be in a healthy and loving relationship with anyone else.”

• “Guilt can be a beautiful step to repentance, forgiveness, and freedom. Guilt is your conscience telling you that you are better than that! …When you feel healthy guilt, acknowledge your wrong, repent, make amends if needed, and adjust. Then move on.”

• “You have to have [a] vision, and it has to be an aligned vision [with your partner]. You can’t move forward if you don’t know where you’re going.”

• “…[God] isn’t bothered by our discomfort. He knows that we grow when we’re out of our comfort zone and forced to fully rely on him. During our times of waiting, it’s up to us to do the practical work and trust God to do the supernatural.”

• ”Anxiety, fear, and insecurity rushed to the surface. Commitment, sacrifice, humility, patience, and communication—gosh, did we have some things to learn! We were two different people, with two different understandings of love and two different upbringings, in two different seasons of life, all mixed in with long distance. A rude awakening is exactly what happened. As soon as we started feeling these tensions, we began questioning the whole relationship… We started bickering and fighting. We were consumed with emotion and letting it dictate our every move, but we wondered why we were unsteady.

That’s the problem with being led by your emotions. They are constantly changing. One day I wanted to take his shirt off, and the next I wanted to bite his head off! That’s why you can’t always trust your feelings and you can’t be led by them.

My focus had to shift from “How do I feel?” to “God, is this your will?” This is a scary and hard prayer to pray. Because your feelings will be telling you a lot. One of the hardest things to do is sacrifice what you feel for what you value most.”

[Ancillar · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher and all opinions expressed are entirely my own.

I had no idea who Madison was until I read this book and became interested in the Bachelor. The blurb sold the book as a dating book but it's in actual fact a book about finding love that you deserve, A love from God that is unconditional . Madison strived to share the importance of finding a relationship that is whole and healthy, on how to rely on God to heal your heart and also how to not conform to social media norms for what makes a relationship a relationship. She made the point of us needing God and how important that relationship is.

[Ginna Prutzman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok to be honest: every time I read books like this I’m like “aw that’s cute but maybe for when I was 15yo”, so I didn’t have huge expectations for this book.

This is actually one of the very very few books that speaks to how HARD it is to date in your mid 20’s. The age where everyone moved on without you and you’re still wondering what the heck went wrong in your life!! That age no one talks about where you’re clinging to God but also wondering if he’s deaf?! So for that alone- THANK YOU Madi Prew. The young adults out there appreciate this immensely and it is so refreshing.

“… when God calls us to something that feels backward, it is usually his path to our freedom.”

[Maeve Beyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I have ever read that accurately depicts what the Christian dating scene is like. Madi encourages her readers to pursue their first love, Jesus. She gives practical examples of what life and relationships look like when Jesus is not at the forefront of your heart. She gives helpful and practical tips for how to navigate dating and how to assess someone’s character in a dating relationship. She also encourages us to examine ourselves and our own heart and character Before entering a committed dating relationship. I thought this book might be cheesy and a little bit elementary for me, but I found myself laughing out loud and crying throughout each chapter. Madi is gifted in speaking truth to our generation.

[Jacalyn Fay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read this

[Emily Miclaus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really cute, some cheesy parts but great topics! I listened as an audiobook and it captivated my interest more.

[Marisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

enjoyable and loving

Madi has a way of putting faith in real world terms and helping us understand

I liked the stories and the applications

Overall a good book

[Emma Robertson]

Read this if you want a very honest and vulnerable understanding of singleness and dating that is very mature and wise.

[Maria Lotfi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was hesitating between a 3.5 and 4 because there were very rare moments where this book felt slightly repetitive. Sometimes, I felt like the writing was a bit too simple and that this book was really targeted towards women in their early 20s or even younger. However, there are lots of valuable takeaways and advices in this book and I enjoyed the bonus contents at the end of each chapter. I appreciated Madi sharing anecdotes that make us relate to her and visual examples that explain well spiritual concepts. I found myself taking lots of important notes.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

You can tell Madi poured her heart and soul into this book. I am not her target demographic, but do know that if I had read this at 20 years of age, I would have found such encouragement in it while dating. I love that she acknowledges the challenges of purity while at the same time speaking up for what she knows is best. I will definitely recommend it to young single girls.

Thank you Netgalley for a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Jade Hallum · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75⭐️ pretty good, nothing mind blowing but a good message - it’s pretty short so I definitely would recommend it, just don’t expect something super deep

[Katie Parrent-Gonyer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Surface level and repetitive. She just keeps saying the same thing in different ways. She quotes a lot of other authors throughout, so I would recommend just reading their books instead.

[Katherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

The advice is solid, but the book could have been an article < 2,000 words IMO

[Emma Leisinger · Rating 2 out of 5]

honestly thought i could recommend this to some youth gals but glad i listened to it first. not worth the listening time

[Sophia Nieves · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first time reading a book by this author however I do follow her on social media and of course saw her on the bachelor tv show!

Christian devotionals are one of my favorites and this book is a must read, first off she talks about living in singleness, living in cycles and how to move past all the things that block us from a God filled relationship while we are looking for love. (True Love)
There are many unique things about this book that as a reader I truly felt was beautiful and interactive, I love how Madison is so relatable it reminds me how in Ecclesiastes king Solomon talks about how we all are living the same lives we are all so similar in so many ways and I truly felt like I had been through and understood so much of what she spoke of based on the life that I had have myself. It brought so much emotions to me just thinking about how far I’ve come as a women and a daughter of Christ. And through my life how God has seen me and still saved me and changed me. And I see that in Madison and her writing .
Not only that but she writes so beautifully it’s truly a gift to have something so hard to talk about but still be able to make it enjoyable . This book comes out tomorrow 09/19/2023 and I’m going straight to the store in the morning to buy a physical copy . I cannot recommend this book enough and not just for my single lady’s but also married friends. This would also be such a great gift for a young ladies in your life or a lady just starting her faith walk who feels shame for who she was or mistakes she’s made !

[Keira · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Worth the Wait.” These were the words on Madi Prewett’s wedding vail. After grappling with pandemic boredom, I began loosely following the 2020 Bachelor season. It was dramatic and unrealistic. However, Prewett suck out to me because she was a strong Christian on a dating show. I was intrigued.

Since then, she became a Christian conservative influencer and is married to the son of a billionaire. This book is really interesting because it briefly touches upon the point of a husband as a financial and spiritual provider, yet omits that she probably chose her own because he’s rich. Regardless, there are extremely valuable themes throughout.

- Have a strong self worth
- Stay true to your values
- Trust God’s timing

There are more, but these stuck out to me. I liked this book and it was an easy read.

[Eva Hunnius · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been following, watching, and inspired by Madi for almost 5 years now so reading this and loving it didn’t surprise me. This book was great coming off of a challenging and hard relationship/breakup and I’m thankful to the people in my corner who kept telling me to read it. I loved that Madi discussed some pretty hard convictions and brought to light things that TRULY matter when it comes to love and dating. I’m always going to recommend this read for any woman questioning their worth in Christ and seeking Godly wisdom in light of dating/relationships. I loved loved loved this read and I can’t wait to read her other book soon 🩷

- 4.5 ⭐️

[Robin Leckey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book 2 years ago (?) because it gives a fresh perspective on dating from a Christian woman, who has gone through heartbreak, been on the Bachelor, etc. All of the past Christian dating books that I’ve read are written by men who have been married for 10+ years or so. Which is fine. But it’s refreshing hearing it from Madi. I liked how Madi started writing this book when she was single, she started writing this book & then got engaged —> married to Grant. I’d definitely read it again