Female Friends

by Fay Weldon

Three people caught up in the special problems of womanhood seek to establish their own values

Genres: Fiction, Novels, Contemporary, Womens, British Literature, Literary Fiction, 20th Century

237 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1974

About the author

Fay Weldon CBE was an English author, essayist and playwright, whose work has been associated with feminism. In her fiction, Weldon typically portrayed contemporary women who find themselves trapped in oppressive situations caused by the patriarchal structure of British society.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fay_Weldon

Reviews

[Nat K · Rating 5 out of 5]

"One doesn't choose friends. One acquires them. They are as much duty as pleasure."

Female friends. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

In her imitable and acerbic style, Fay Weldon describes the rollercoaster that is female friendship. Thick as thieves one moment, fighting like alley cats another.

Meeting towards the end of World War II, twelve year olds Chloe, Grace and Marjorie are thrown together by circumstance and spend several years growing up alongside each other. Fast forward thirty years, and their lives have taken them down very divergent paths. Strewn along the way are discarded dreams, discarded husbands, discarded lovers and a myriad of children from different fathers. Yet an invisible thread keeps their friendship intact. Though they often don't like each other very much, if at all.

The children's names, Inigo, Imogen, Kevin, Kestrel and Stanhope amused me no end. Apologies to any Kestrel's reading this review.

This is an absolute hoot about manners, social mores and what makes a good friend. Or doesn't. And how deep down, we're all pretty selfish and looking after our needs, though some of us are more upfront about this than others.

"...for do we not all do ultimately what we want?"

The characters are appalling, and difficult to feel any empathy towards, yet at the same time this tiny book is fascinating. Though written long ago, in the early 70s, it can still ring true today.

I can't help but think that Fay Weldon must have been the most interesting dinner guest to invite over for an evening of banter. Whatever happened to dinner parties? She'd definitely have been on my guest list. Such an intelligent observer of the uglier side of human nature.

[Stela · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Understand and forgive (…). Understand husbands, wives, father, mothers. Understand dog-fights above and the charity box below, understand fur-coated women and children without shoes. Understand school— Jonah, Job and the nature of the Deity; understand Hitler and the Bank of England and the behaviour of Cinderella’s sisters.”

Open-minded and generous, and sooo altruistic, isn’t it? However, if you think that Female Friends is under the sign of forgiveness and (over)understanding, you’re sorely mistaken. Neither is it about free choice, in spite of a second seductive explanation of the hallucinating events that incessantly happen to the heroines:

“… there is no such thing as an accident. We make tactless remarks because we wish to hurt, break our legs because we do not wish to walk, marry the wrong man because we cannot let ourselves be happy, board the wrong train because we would prefer not to reach the necessary destination.”

Nope, my friends, (female or not ☺), the sign that governs this extraordinary novel is self-delusion. A theme developed, on one hand, by using the jigsaw technique (you are presented with a general and schematic picture and gradually you learn the details, in a to and fro journey from the effects to causes) and on the other hand by exhausting some stereotypes gathered from almost any genre – sentimental, comic, realistic, psychological etc. – such as the conjugal triangle, the heartless mother, the debauched artist, and so on.

A development so skilfully orchestrated by a puppet-master author who knows how to dissimulate the strings that it is no wonder the result was an ambiguity of perception: some readers perceived the novel as grim, desperate and desolate, meanwhile others considered it sarcastic, parodic and immensely funny. As for me, I think oxymoronic phrases like “delightful hell” (Sara Blackburn) describe it best.

Indeed, the stories narrated are usually so despicable that border on absurd: in one of the first scenes Chloe brings breakfast to her husband in bed, and he complains about the coldness in the eyes of the maid while he bedded her the other night. She listens and dutifully picks up a girl's hair on the pillow for Oliver doesn’t like untidiness.

Her friend Grace is no better: after she lost custody of her first two children her maternal instinct seemed to die and left the third with Chloe and now is interested in none. As for Marjorie, she renounced at motherhood and sex altogether to focus only on her career.

Here we have some well-known literary clichés: the submissive wife, the beautiful bitch, the career woman, clichés that Fay Weldon, instead of avoiding, thickens until they become implausible and laughable because of the barely concealed sarcasm, the merciless irony not only of female, but also of literary stereotypes:

“How can Chloe leave? How can she carve through these patterns of dependency and hope, in the interests of something so impractical and elusive as personal happiness?”

‘I don’t care whose fault it is,’ says Grace. ’It makes me feel better. Bad behaviour is very animating, Chloe. You should try it yourself some time. One could get hooked on it. ‘

Marjorie: “I am one of nature’s dead-ends. I am a walking Black Hole. I have a hollow inside me, a bottomless pit, and you could shovel all the husbands and children in the world into me, and still it wouldn’t be filled up."

The novel is full of entangled relationships, interchangeable lovers, neglectful parents, sometimes hyped up to caricature, especially the male characters, who “follow their pricks like donkeys allegedly follow carrots.”

As for the style, Sara Blackburn sums it up pretty well:
“The narrative itself, delicately managed in many layers, is terse, clean and so witty as often to be epigrammatic. Sometimes the dialogue is telescoped into script form, a non- intrusive device which admirably matches the pace and the structure of the plotting.”

Definitely, a to-read book, black humour and all…

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like a cross between The Orchard on Fire by Shena Mackay and The Pumpkin Eater by Penelope Mortimer; this is the darkly funny story of Marjorie, Chloe and Grace: three Londoners who have stayed friends ever since their turbulent childhood during the Second World War, when Marjorie was sent to live with Grace and her mother. They have a nebulous brood of children between them, some fathered by a shared lover (a slovenly painter named Patrick). Chloe’s husband is trying to make her jealous with his sexual attentions to their French nanny. Marjorie, who works for the BBC, is the only one without children; she has a gynaecological condition and is engaged in a desultory search for her father.

The book is mostly in the third person, but some chapters are voiced by Chloe and occasional dialogues are set out like a film script. I enjoyed the glimpses I got into women’s lives in the mid-20th century via the three protagonists and their mothers. All are more beholden to men than they’d like to be. But there’s an overall grimness to this short novel that left me wincing. I’d expected more nostalgia (“they are nostalgic, all the same, for those days of innocence and growth and noise. The post-war world is drab and grey and middle-aged. No excitement, only shortages and work”) and warmth, but this friendship trio is characterized by jealousy and resentment.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.

[Lucynell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fay Weldon 'is a witch.' She is a conjurer. She is to feminism what nitromethane is to fuel. This, her third novel, is a messy book with a confusing back-and-forth layout but, and it's a big but, is still bitter and venomous, and spiteful and very funny and uncomfortable to read. Fay Weldon brings out the worst in her characters without making a fuss about it and that's compassion. Their particulars, grotesque and even cruel, give the novel its absurdness but she (Fay Weldon) is actually painting on a bigger canvas without, as I said, making a fuss about it. Marital life, betrayals, friendship, sexual politics and more in this witty and somewhat compassionate little novel.

[Candice · Rating 4 out of 5]

"How do we recover from the spasms of terror and resentment which assail us, in our marriages and in our lives? When we lie awake in bed and know that the worst is at hand, if we do not act (and we cannot act) – the death of our children, or their removal by the State, or physical crippling, or the loss of our homes, or the ultimate loneliness of abandonment. When we cry and sob and slam doors and know we have been cheated, and are betrayed, are ruined, and we are helpless. When we walk alone in the night planning murder, suicide, adultery, revenge – and go home to bed and rise red-eyed in the morning, to continue as before. "

I love Fay Weldon, haven't read her for a long time and must pick her up again. This book is about women's lives: it's slightly dated (1974) but ultimately the issues are still the same. She has a dry sense of humor, so this book is not heavy, but her points on female issues are direct hits.

[Stevie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wasn’t loving it at the beginning but really enjoyed the second half! Kind of thought it was gonna be more about how amazing female friendships are which I guess it was a little bit… but I really went in blind and did not expect what was coming!

[Jan Priddy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do not know how this book came into my hands. It is a US 1st, I think from St. Martin's.

This is a sad book that ends well enough. There is so much energy in the voice, despite the point of view character's marriage to a really, truly awful person. (Reading it is a good reminder of why women are more likely to seek a divorce than men. Women may expect to be supported, but they less often treat their spouse as an ornament. And it is also a comprehensive exploration of why the women's movement reappeared in the 70s.)

The story begins with the accidental meeting of Chloe, Grace, and Marjorie during the war when Marjorie is evacuated from London by her thoughtless mother and due to a mistake about trains, lands in Grace's home town and is chosen by Grace's parents to be their charitable duty because they are slow to choose and she is the last. Chloe is in the village because her mother is also escaping the war in London. Life is messy and guilty and the children are abandoned and left and taken up and rescued in the next generation. There is a crazy painter, writers for the BBC, many terrible parents of both sexes and terrible husbands and unfaithful wives who try very hard to be good.

Weldon wrote for Upstairs, Downstairs, but also wrote the wonderful novel of Letters to Alice on First Reading Jane Austen, which is really a wonderful thing that Austen fans should all read, even though, as I recall, she never makes it to Persuasion. (They never do.)

[Georgina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first read this in the 70’s. A friend ‘borrowed’ it, (yes, you Ania - wherever you are) and I have thought about it a lot over the years. Re-reading it, it seems much darker than I remembered. Seems that these friends like each other less, the men are more awful, and the parenting more dreadful too.
A gloomy read.

[Duncan Prior · Rating 5 out of 5]

An uncomfortable read especially for English white heterosexual married men, if this sample of one is anything to go by.
I had been meaning to read a Fay Weldon book for a number of years and so was delighted to pick this book up when it was offered by neighbours downsizing their house.
A clever, original and perhaps unique book. I wonder if it was influential or at least thought provoking when it come out in the early 1970s.
I did wonder if there was a pattern to the book, a sort of roman a clef, such as when character A enjoys some good fortune character B and C find themselves in the opposite position, or a brush with a certain type of man then triggers a run of setbacks or self-destruction. Maybe, but I am not sure.
I enjoyed the non-chronological structure, switching through through time and how what could have been a typical wartime evacuee story turned into something representative of the societal trends of the educated in the late 60s and early 70s. Thus Weldon managed to weave two different periods that are usually represented so differently, together - the self subjugated to the whole through sacrifice, resilience and dourness then a set of self-centred characteristics - expression, indulgence, analysis.
The only structure I would venture to put forward is one of four sections:
1 - wartime - lightly written, short chapters, countryside, big house
2 - married life - the only relief offered by Oliver to his sheer horrendous selfishness is the comedic stupidity of his railings against the bourgeoisie. But a uncomfortable read.
3 - the satyr of Patrick - the least convincing and compelling section. The pursuit of satire was sated but at the expense of the story, wit and validity of characters
4 - conclusion - the final two pages. Valid, and convincing.

Final point - the satirical representation of Jewish characters - shades of antisemitism perhaps?

[Майя Ставитская · Rating 4 out of 5]

The three of them would hardly have become friends under normal circumstances. Contrary to the saying about the attraction of opposites, Boethius' rule rather works in life: "Every difference separates, and similarity tends to similarity": lucky people prefer to communicate with lucky people, average people with average people, losers have nothing left but losers. The same rule applies to the beautiful, the rich, the cool, the talented. In ordinary life. Not in the extreme circumstances of the war and the evacuation, which in England was not as blissful as in the Narnian cycle, although I admit it. that happened in different ways, and the four Lewis children could easily go to the castle of a distant relative with some semblance of comfort.

But in Faye Weldon's story, half-orphaned Chloe (selfless, "understanding and forgiving") meets Marjorie (scary, smart) on her way to safety from the London bombings, and Grace (talented, arrogant beauty) is the daughter of the owners of the estate where they found shelter, there were no other girls their age around. The bond that was involuntarily established between them then did not disintegrate over the years and decades, and some additional circumstances surprisingly contributed to the rapprochement. The selfish beauty Helen, Marjorie's mother, would have been more suitable for Grace, whose mother Esther looks so much like Marge that one would believe in the children being replaced in the hospital if the girls had not been born at different times in different places. There is one more thing that unites all three of them - Patrick. A talented ("genius" - has long been used to characterize everyone who is someone) artist. All three of them slept with him at different times-well, it was almost impossible to resist his masculine attraction.

Now they are all aged 45+, Marjorie is single, has made a successful career in television journalism; Grace is still dazzlingly good, changes men like gloves and lives at their expense, she has a son with Patrick, whom... She's being raised by Chloe. She is married to the successful writer Oliver, they have two children of their own, and Patrick's two more children live with them from a girl who committed suicide, trampled by his infidelities and bestial attitude - she asked Chloe to take care of the children if something happened to her, there was not much hope for her father. That's five in total. Five children and an intellectual husband, whose peace needs to be taken care of. Not surprising. that Chloe hires a cook to help. Actually, she doesn't hire, a French woman with a broken heart because of a wedding that was upset at the last moment lives with them, like exchange students in host families, cooks, teaches children French, and when Chloe discovers that she also helps her husband in bed, somehow she doesn't even get upset - she's so busy with life, What he thinks: "A woman with a cart is easier for a mare."

"Girlfriends" is a very Fayweldon book, with men who behave abominably not because of a natural tendency to do bad things, but simply because the way the world works allows them to be like that without severe consequences. With women who resist and adapt in their own way: hit, run, freeze (there is also a fawn reaction, almost Stockholm syndrome, when you anticipate the desires of the tormentor, trying to please him) - without ever winning. Except when they take their fate into their own hands.

That's what happens to heroines. And they're all happy in the end. Well, or almost happy, which is better than being totally unhappy.


Они трое в обычных обстоятельствах вряд ли стали бы подругами. Вопреки поговорке о притяжении противоположностей, в жизни скорее работает правило Боэция: "Всякое различие разъединяет, а подобие стремится к подобию": везунчики предпочитают общаться с везунчиками, середняки с середняками, лузерам ничего не остается, кроме лузеров. То же правило работает с красивыми, богатыми, крутыми, талантливыми. В обычной жизни. Не в экстремальных обстоятельствах войны и эвакуации, которая в Англии проходила не так благостно, как в Нарнийском цикле, хотя допускаю. что бывало по-разному и четверка льюисовых детей вполне могла ехать в замок дальнего родственника с некоторым даже подобием комфорта.

Но в истории Фэй Уэлдон полусирота Хлоя (самоотверженная, "понимать и прощать") встречает Марджори (страшненькая, умненькая) по дороге в безопасные места из-под Лондонских бомбежек, а Грейс (талантливая высокомерная красотка) дочь владельцев поместья, где они нашли приют, других девочек их возраста рядом не было. Связь поневоле, установившаяся между ними тогда, не распалась за годы и десятилетия, а некоторые дополнительные обстоятельства, удивительно способствовали сближению. Эгоистичная красотка Элен, мать Марджори, больше подошла бы Грейс, чья мама Эстер так похожа на Мардж, что можно было бы поверить в подмененных в роддоме детей, если бы девочки не родились в разное время в разных местах. Есть еще одно, что объединяет всех троих - Патрик. Талантливый ("гениальный" - давно используют для его характеристики все, кто есть кто-то) художник. С ним, в разное время, спали все трое - ну да, противостоять его мужскому притяжению было почти невозможно.

Сейчас все они в возрасте 45+, Марджори одинока, сделала успешную карьеру в тележурналистике; Грейс по-прежнему ослепительно хороша, меняет мужчин как перчатки и живет за их счет, у нее сын от Патрика, которого... воспитывает Хлоя. Она замужем за успешными писателем Оливером, у них двое собственных детей, и с ними живут еще двое детей Патрика от девушки, которая покончила с собой, растоптанная его изменами и скотским отношением - Хлою она просила позаботиться о детях, если с ней что случится, на отца особой надежды не было. Итого пять. Пятеро детей и муж интеллектуал, о чьем покое нужно заботиться. Неудивительно. что Хлоя нанимает в помощь кухарку. Собственно, не нанимает, француженка с разбитым из-за расстроившейся в последний момент свадьбы живет у них, как живут студентки по обмену в принимающих семьях, готовит, учит детей французскому, а когда Хлоя обнаруживает, что она еще и помогает мужу в постели, как-то даже не расстраивается - так ухайдокана жизнью, что думает: "Баба с возу - кобыле легче".

"Подруги" очень фэйуэлдоновская книга, с мужчинами, которые ведут себя мерзко не по причине природной склонности к дурному, а просто потому, что устройство мира позволяет быть такими без суровых последствий. С женщинами, которые противостоят и приспосабливаются всякая своим способом: бей, беги, замри (есть еще реакция олененка, почти стокгольмский синдром, когда предугадываешь желания мучителя, стараясь ему угодить) - никогда не оказываясь в выигрыше. Кроме тех случаев, когда берут свою судьбу в собственные руки.

Что и случается с героинями. И все они в финале счастливы. Ну или почти счастливы, что всяко лучше, чем быть тотально несчастными.

[Rachael Eyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this early novel Fay Weldon has already mastered a very rare talent: writing beautifully about truly horrible people.

Chloe, Marjorie and Grace are girlhood chums who always had a nasty undercurrent, sprouting into outright frenemies as time goes by. They each appear to be an archetype - Chloe the mother (particularly of other people's children), Marjorie the outwardly hard career woman, Grace the unstable, reckless slut - but are far more multifaceted and interesting. Chloe is ostensibly the most sympathetic and normal, but even she is capable of deceit and howling errors of judgement. Grace is abominable - a poisonous, manipulative, lying bitch. I couldn't think why the others had stayed in touch.

It seesaws back and forth in time, meaning you need to read closely to keep track of what era you're in, and which character you're following. Although my favourite part was the girls growing up during the war, all periods were quickly and deftly created. As the quote on my copy claims, it's "compulsively readable" - after a subdued and slightly confused start, trying to make sense of who was who, I read it avidly at lunch breaks, finishing it at last in an afternoon.

Though not my favourite Weldon - that remains The Life and Loves of a She Devil - it's a stunning achievement, especially since it was written so early in her career. I will definitely seek out the rest of her books.

[Chloe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Using a clever device (three women all willing and able to criticize each other) Weldon shows us how we - all, but in this case women particularly- make a mess of our lives while striving to do the opposite. She is hilariously and wonderfully scathing of her male characters and reserves the cruelest yet most deserved punishment for Oliver, the most despicable character. And yet, perhaps Chloe did deserve such a useless, vain, lazy and pathetic husband, until she finally decides to live an authentic, self determined life. Wonderfully entertaining yet simultaneously a document of women’s post war lives and struggles for equality, both outward and inner.

[Denise Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strangely believable

Fay Weldon had a certain perspective on the lives of women in the post WW2 era that is funny, touching, razor shirt and totally believable.

[Jonny Aldridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really very affecting: the characters are so psychologically spot-on, especially Oliver’s bullying personality, and the dialogue in particular is so clever laid-out. I also found it fascinating to get an insight into motherhood and womanhood through these three women; their desperate situations, which are partly self-imposed, and their life choices, which seem inevitable and not really choices at all. It’s a very strong dramatisation of an unequal society where men can act despicably, and where women’s resilience is their worst enemy. I suppose the narrative structure, which covers maybe 50 years through jumping between the pay and presents, helps to convey that strange sense of ‘how did it get this bad?’ and ‘what the hell happened to us?’ A lot of it uncomfortable, but addictive, reading - and I’m sure it would benefit from revisiting. Superb.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is what it is: a book about female friends. I think this was an interesting commentary about three fictional friends who've been forced together by circumstance, and have chosen to hold onto that relationship forever. At a surface level they don't appear to like each other very much at all, but there's a lifetime of experience running deeper which makes you question types of friendships and types of relationships which are ultimately social constructs so can mean whatever you want them to mean.

The structure of the narrative was interesting, I found that I had to concentrate more so the shift in time wasn't so jarring.

There were a handful of quotes I quite liked from this book (oh if only I could remember my tumblr email to get back into the habit of noting down quotes from books), but here's the last one which struck a chord:

"So treasure your moments of beauty, your glimpses of truth, your nights of love. They are all you have. Take family snaps, unashamed. Dress up for weddings, all weddings. Rejoice at births, all births. For days can be happy - whole futures cannot. This is what grandmama says. This moment now is all you have. These days, these nights, these moments one by one."

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like Fay Weldon's writing, and although I don't think this is her best it kept my attention. Three friends from childhood, such chaotic lives, and the husband 'coming to heel' at the end? It didn't totally convince me, but I was will to suspend my disbelief. I'll continue to read Weldon however, the next may well be better.

[Ariadna Codina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Divertido pero a ratos profundamente triste. Como la vida misma, vaya

[Pip Jennings · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a reread and I didn’t enjoy it as much as I remembered from a long time ago. Maybe it has dated or I have aged a bit. I’m still glad I revisited it.

[Hailey · Rating 1 out of 5]

couldn’t pass the bechdel test for even one sentence

[Lucía Izquierdo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotivo, crudo.

[Victoria Darkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. A story which really caught my attention. Three girls from different backgrounds with only their geographical circumstances in common. We watch as they grew up and make complete misses of their lives. Brought together by the war they remain 'friends'. The story is told looking back at their childhood. Their current lives seem a mess and as the story continues that mess is unraveled to show how they ended up where they did. Every character is a bit complicated. I think the depressing vibe come from the reductionist writing style. Cramming three lives into a 238 page book does necessitate this. I recognised myself in parts. Fey Weldon is one of my favourite authors and this didn't disappoint. She mentioned in in a talk i attended and said that the ghost was based on a real experience from her life. It as appears in another of her books, the bulgravia connection i think.

I enjoy her social comment and insight into behaviours. She doesn't sugarcoat life.

[Beccy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Picked up this yellowing and falling apart book for 25p, a long time since I last read Fay Weldon so thought I'd give it a try. Really quite depressing in how these women live their lives, their relationships with each other, with men and everyone else. Maybe it's because it's dated? Maybe I didn't get the humour, certainly couldn't find the 'compassion' it's billed as having - very unforgiving and negative depictions of women. Would give to my daughter to cut up for her art projects but probably too many sex references...

[Melissa B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt very depressing. It followed the lives of three women who have been"friends" since their youth and discusses the different choices they make into adulthood. They all settle and none of them ever seem to be truly happy. This book is definitely not a "pick me up" but it is still a decent read.

[Eileen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book seems calculated to make you believe that everyone in the world is a complete asshole, completely helpless, or both. Reminiscent of 70s-early 80s Margaret Atwood. Well done, but not something I want to read again.

[Redfox5 · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a bad book. These women all have really depressing lives. I'm not sure how the Sunday Times came to the conclusion that this book is 'Murderously funny' but it was interesting enough.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book about how horrible people can be to each other and to themselves.

[Esther · Rating 3 out of 5]

First time reading FW. Good, if a little dated in its vitriole and all the men are completely awful.

[Susan Gregg · Rating 1 out of 5]

Depressing. Am only finishing it because I'm too compulsive not to finish a book.

[Sjoefn Larusdottir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Masser af ironi og endda sarkasme. Lidt ond bog. Meget FayWeldonsk.