A Sail of Two Idiots: 100+ Lessons and Laughs from a Non-Sailor Who Quit the Rat Race, Took the Helm, and Sailed to a New Life in the Caribbean

by Renee Petrillo

“It was the best of dreams, it was the worst of dreams, it was an age of consulting the nautical experts, it was the age of landlubber foolishness, it was the epoch of determination, it was the epoch of despair, it was the season of hurricanes, it was a spring of beachcombing…” If you dream about chucking it all away and sailing toward an island life, read this first Renee and Michael didn’t have any boating experience and when their plans to remedy that fell through the two had to learn everything the hard way. Despite themselves they managed to get from Miami to Grenada, eventually dropping the anchor of their cruising catamaran at the island of their dreams. Determined to save future sailors from themselves, A Sail of Two Idiots includes lessons Renee and Michael learned and shares them with you as examples of what and what not to do. This a how-to guide wrapped in a funny story―kind of like getting your serving of vegetables from a slice of pizza. Read this and make your dream of sailing away a reality.

Genres: Travel, Memoir, Nonfiction

304 pages, Paperback

First published March 16, 2012

Reviews

[Chip Lowe · Rating 4 out of 5]

If Bill Bryson wrote a book about learning to sail from scratch, it would be a lot like this one. For all those reviewers complaining about it being poorly written...really? I guess maybe compared to all those books YOU wrote? I thought the writing style was perfect considering the obvious desire to make the subject more approachable and appealing.

[Marvel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute and funny. Brain candy, which I need sometimes.

[Sam O'H · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book didn't read as an adventure travel book as much as I expected. The book is more like a poorly written travel guide, if that. Brief descriptions of island they visit, and a few mentions of which islands had good grocery stores and which bars they enjoyed the most.
Most of the content of the book belongs in a ship's log, more than it belongs in a book meant to be read for the enjoyment of others. The typical chapter layout goes, "We left LOCATION and traveled DIRECTION for TIME. We weren't able to sail because of REASON. Also, a bunch of things broke."
The pattern and predictability quickly grew boring.

In my opinion, the author is 100% accurate in her assertion that they are "idiots". I always take issue with people who don't do the minimum amount of research or preparation to protect themselves, and instead rely on the kindness of strangers. Even worse in this case is that the author writes about these mistakes as if she's proud of them!

Personally, I'd be ashamed to know that my choices had the potential to endanger and possibly kill rescuers, and knowing that I was constantly a burden on fellow travelers and/or island locals. But that's not the author's approach. She spouts a "pay it forward" slogan anytime they're rescued/saved from their own poor decisions.
Packing up to go live on a sailboat with absolutely no experience, no instruction, and no idea what you're doing isn't admirable and it isn't adventurous. It's stupid, it's unnecessary, and it's completely avoidable.
I realize that mistakes happen. Things break. Nobody is ready for everything. But this couple just doesn't make an effort.

Take any advice given in this book with a ocean's worth of salt. Look carefully at the things they've done and the choices they made, before you decide whether or not you want to take advice from them. Realize that these people still didn't know how their sails work almost a year into their trip, before you decide to start washing your clothes with ammonia like the author suggests. If that doesn't work, just do a quick search for whether or not you should be washing your clothes in ammonia. Apply the same suspicion to the other "tips" as well and you'll find more than a few cases of misinformation.

It was a struggle to finish this book. I liked the characters less and less the more I read.

[Kristin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved reading this because it was future planning/adventure fodder, but it is poorly written. And disagreed with her on about every score - from she preferred some islands over others to her preferences for boat-type.

[Mark Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

Really good read, informative, witty, enjoyable, i really related to author, felt we could have been friends.. i would highly recommend

[Ray Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Living in Colorado, I’ve become a voyeur of all things Caribbean. I’ve read a few other “sailing through the Caribbean” travelogues, all of which increased my appetite to sell everything, buy a sailboat, learn to sail, and sail through the Caribbean. But not this book…

This book will either strengthen your resolve to leave the Rat Race and sail into the Caribbean, or it will give you pause. If my desire to sail through the Caribbean could be described as a disease, A Sail of Two Idiots was my vaccine. And I mean that in a good way! The honest account of the physical, financial, and mechanical struggles cured me of my desire to own my own boat and sail “through” the Caribbean. I’ve decided that I still want to learn to sail and sail “in” the Caribbean, but I no longer feel the drive to abandon everything and run away to sail.

The book offers stories, practical lessons, and advice. The author is honest in her casual description of the joys and woes of their three year sailing adventure. I plan to gift my copy of the book to a co-worker who told me he and his wife plan to do exactly what the author did.

[Sheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked the book. I had checked it out twice before from the library, and ended up checking it back in without reading it; I believe it was because with the library it is either feast or famine - you have no books or 4 books are available at the same time. Third time's a charm, I guess.

Author does a good job, maybe too good, at explaining all the costs and maintenance needs, of the boat. As someone who has never experienced what they did, is this normal? Like truly normal? Or were they more OCD than normal at fixing EVERYTHING. And stuff in a 7 year old (I believe that is how old it was) boat just really break like that? Constantly? I ask because I'm curious, not putting it down.

I've never been one for the Caribbean, mostly have read books where they went to the South Pacific, but she did a good job explaining all the different islands, and their pros and cons. Honestly, could use that advice in booking a cruise and what ports to go to!

Anyway, thank you for the book!

[JoAnn Plante · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best novels I've read in quite a while. The author relates her desire for her and her partner to buy a boat and sail around the Caribbean Islands. She gets into the specific types of boats and notes the differences. Then she walks the reader through the buying process and all the other equipment needed to have a safe sail. Her inexperience allows her to make mistakes, but learn from them. She takes on every challenge and asks other boaters for their advice. She and her partner decide which island to visit based on weather forecasts and chart plotting of reefs and other difficulties. She is funny, honest, descriptive, and a joy to read about her. She keeps the story going and adds in little things that make it seem real. The reader can imagine what she is seeing and how she is feeling even with the undulating of the waves. Their journey took 3 years and then they wanted to sell the boat and settle on one of the islands. They do this and their story ends there, but she muses about maybe buying another boat one day, so maybe the story will continue?

[Michael Dinning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since I've been sailing small boats for over 40 years I wasn't sure how much useful advice novice sailors would be able to give me. I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by how much valuable information Renee has compiled.

For someone who hasn't done a lot of cruising and would like to do more, this book is great. It has over 100 tips and insights, based on real experiences like those that we're all likely to face. Because this was all new to them, Renee describes the challenges, screw-ups and joys of sailing with details that many other cruising books miss. While it's a little out of date (I read the book in 2020), the descriptions of the Bahamian and Caribbean islands are good, too.

Thanks, Renee, for an informative and entertaining travel log!

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining for sailing sophomores

With some sailing experience you can enjoy this tail. There is a lot of undefined vocabulary and I was reading on the go so sometimes I had to best guess what was being described. Having Google handy and Map of the Caribbean would help.

Laugh out loud to breathless concern, very entertaining sail tale.

[Charlie Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just really wanted to know what life was like in a car and this really told you all that there was too

Know.. I thought the book was written very well and with such detail. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone interested in living on a sailboat or cat

[Jason Kerr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought It was good but you have to have an interest in sailing. I was surprised funny enough by the lack of pictures or maps. I would’ve appreciated maps since they jump around to so many different islands. The author did a good job of relaying the experience, tips and tricks and does and don’ts.

[Cb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved how much detail this book had about what goes into long-haul sailing. It was also well written with a lot of humor and was a quick read.

[Erin Caswell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly interesting. A lot of technical, anidotal information about buying a boat and sailing long term.

[Carl E. Aubele]

I usually only read about small boat adventures. However as the "captain" of s/v Miss Adventure, (because every outing is a misadventure), the title intrigued me. This young couple start out doing (in my opinion) everything wrong when purchasing their boat. Surprisingly quick learners, they go on to have an adventure most only dream of, or read about. I found it entertaining and also informative.

[Carolyn Deboer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining book with swift prose. Very hard to read about all the things they learned the hard way -- maybe because if we didn't learn those exact lesson the hard way, it brought back other lessons hard earned. They did just about everything a person could do mistakenly but persevered and became very accomplished. It was a trip down memory lane as they traveled the Caribbean island chain -- seeing what we've seen and even meeting some of the same people along the way.

[Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting combination of practical sailing knowledge, and honest look at what it’s like to live aboard a sailboat and funny stories about their time afloat, ‘Idiots’ is part manual part memoir. After reading several stories about people selling all their stuff and sailing south I was ready, but this book give a good look at what it’s really like and is a real eye opener for anyone who’s thinking of trying out the lifestyle. A well written, funny and informative book for the sailor or wanna-be sailor!

[Pdamon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just LOVE this book. These people are so crazy in such a good way.

We just bought a small (22' O'Day) fixer upper, so this book was very timely. We have no plans to live aboard, but I'd stay overnight a few times now that this couple has given me courage. If they can do what they did, I can manage a whole lot more with my O'Day than I thought I could!

And the Caribbean, too. We sail in Maine, but vacation in the Caribbean. Their insight into islands, snorkeling spots, food, etc is great.

Did I say I just LOVE this book?

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was enjoyable. Although I am a new sailor, I could not believe some of the bad decisions this couple made. Somehow they made it all work out and are having a blast. I found this book very helpful and informative. I would recommend it to anyone wishing to give up terra firma for a sailboat.

[Bree · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did enjoy this. It’s full of info, tips & experiences to learn from. It made me realise I never want to own a boat! I enjoyed the fun aspects of their travels, commiserated with their trials, & learned a lot. It was a little annoying that the author kept reacting to her own writing- e.g. ‘Aaack’, ‘sigh’, ‘yay’, ‘groan’.

[Carl · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is written in a very casual style, almost like a collection of blog entries tied together. That said, I feel like it gave a very honest description of what life as a live-aboard was like for this couple who sold their house and sailed the carribean for three years.

[Darlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew nothing about sailing. Boy! So much work and so many repairs. I have been to many of the islands. Was disappointed that the volcano hike on St. Kitt's was not talked about more just because I did the hard hike with Two of my daughters. Good memories.
I could not do what they did.

[Kathy Sandlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I kind of read this one in between some other books. I don't think you need to read this book continuously. It was entertaining and I liked her writing humor. She kept the pace up and she could turn some technical sailing stuff into something interesting.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute, easy read.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the most well-written book but the information will be of much use to us!

[Bonnie Odin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining and educational

[Craig Bowman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable read.

[Tanya Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished this over the holiday weekend. As someone who dreams of doing exactly what the author did, I found this a fascinating read. I may have to reconsider my retirement plans!

[Jannelle]

This is my second time reading this book. It will make you laugh and cringe and wonder why we've chosen liveaboard life.