Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome

by Aparna Nancherla

A hilarious and insightful collection of essays exploring impostor syndrome, from the inside and out, by the most successful fraud in comedy

Aparna Nancherla is a superstar comedian on the rise—a darling of Netflix and Comedy Central’s comedy special lineups, a headliner at comedy shows and music festivals, a frequenter of late night television and the subject of numerous profiles. She’s also a successful actor who has written a barrage of thoughtful essays published by the likes of the New York Times . If you ask her, though, she’s a total fraud. She’d hate to admit it, but no one does impostor syndrome quite like Aparna Nancherla.

UNRELIABLE NARRATOR is a collection of essays that uses Aparna’s signature humor to illuminate an interior life, one constantly bossed around by her depression (whom she calls Brenda), laced with anxiety like a horror movie full of jump-scares, and plagued by an unrepenting love-hate relationship with her career as a painfully shy standup comedian. But luckily, crippling self-doubt comes with the gift of keen self-examination. These essays deliver hilarious and incredibly insightful meditations on body image, productivity culture, the ultra-meme-ability of mental health language, and who, exactly, gets to make art “about nothing.” Despite her own arguments to the contrary, UNRELIABLE NARRATOR is undeniable proof that Aparna is a force—as a comedian and author alike—to be reckoned with.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Humor, Audiobook, Essays, Mental Health, Comedy

301 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 19, 2023

Reviews

[Shana Z · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up because I think the marketing of this book did a disservice.

This is an interesting memoir-in-essays that is reflective on imposterism, marginalized identities, and anxiety. It is well researched and thoughtful, but selling it as “laugh out loud” sets weird expectations for this insightful book that has moments of levity.

[adele · Rating 3 out of 5]

Much more serious than I thought it would be. Not so much a memoir or autobiography either. If this had been sold to me as a collection of essays about anxiety, I think I would have liked it better. As it was, it took me a while to understand that this book is not at all a memoir.

Also wish there would have been more of the jokes and wordplay that Aparna is famous for.

[Jenna · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Feel free to add your own laugh track”

Whew this book was…..not at all what I expected. (Which was something similar to Maria Bamford memoir a mixture of comedy/serious reflections on mental health)

But instead we got like random citations & research, confusingly contradictory takes on social media and just mixed bag of personal stories.

Repetitive.

[Marc · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aparna Nancherla is a smart writer and she brings her sharp observational skillset to bear on her arc as a comedian and as a person living in 2023.

Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome is less a comedy book and far more a personal analysis of her comedy style, her personality, and mental health journey. At times, the work has an academic bent with well-selected and well-cited scholarship. However, it's not dry or dusty, as Nancherla IS a comedian and a performer who knows how to sprinkle in non-sequiturs and ironic non-self-deprecating comedy bits liberally.

“Unreliable Narrator” is a serious book about comedy. It's also an approachable and useful book about living with anxiety, living with imposter syndrome, and delving into the sources of one person's anxieties, their neuroses, and Nancherla's comedic bent as a coping (and thriving) mechanism.

4.5 stars rounded up to 5. The book isn’t perfect but Nancherla IS trying her best, so that’s on-brand (even if personal brand discourse might make both the author and me break out in nervous hives).

[E.M. Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't follow comedy closely enough to know Aparna Nancherla's work, but I enjoyed her memoir. It purports to be about imposter syndrome, but uses it more like a branching off point.

She covers:
- Insecurity and imposter syndrome
- Mental health and the challenges in tying your mental health history to public-facing work
- Stepping away from social media
- Stand-up culture and expectations
- Covid-19 and creativity

I found the sections about social media, performing for free and being a content farm for a tech company particularly insightful. Nancherla also describes her experience of running afoul of Taylor Swift fans online with grace and the wisdom of hindsight.

There's less about her own work trajectory and track record than I was expecting, given that's where the imposter sensations come from.

Did writing the book cure her of this impulse? No. But as she notes, "Epiphanies…don’t arrive on schedule, and sometimes you’re the last to know you’re having one," she writes in the close. “Epiphanies can take years to sink in."

I enjoyed it, and it made me curious about her stand-up work.

[Sharada · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aparna shines in her personal narrative. She is also clearly a deeply empathetic person, who considers the lived experiences of everyone around her, while simultaneously accepting she can't and won't always get it right. Finally, a fellow South Asian woman frankly talking about her libido, and giving her feelings social context, was incredibly refreshing.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book. Imposter syndrome plagues me regularly, so I was excited to find someone else speaking openly about their struggles with it. I don't think that's what this book was about though. She definitely had a few chapters about it and how specifically she deals with it, but a lot of this book felt like nonsense and buzz words. I didn't connect with it like I wanted to and it wasn't very entertaining.

[Kama · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest and straightforward, alternately funny and thoughtful. Not just a memoir but also a reflection of identity and how it affects the comedy/acting profession.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The older I get, the more I see introversion as a beacon to bring my ship home.”

I was super excited to find this book, specifically because I have loved Aparna as Grace on the show Corporate. And while reading it as a physical book, I could hear her voice in my head!

I quite enjoyed this memoir. It was a beautiful and thoughtful set of reflections on her experiences with topics such as impostor syndrome, introversion, anxiety and depression, race and gender, stand up comedy, social media, and much more. She cracked me up throughout, but overall I’d say this was more on the serious side.

Some memorable quotes:

“So much more of life is lived in the process rather than the result - but we insist on bolding the latter.”

“Yeah, I want to die, but at least I’m creating content. That could be the motto of late-stage capitalism.”

“In that sense I'm a life procrastinator— though I prefer dillydallier, as that sounds more like I'm wearing a smart little hat and strolling around town, giving mailboxes a little chuck under the chin.”

“I’ve been running late since my mom’s period.”

“Even my computer passwords are insecure.”

“Yet I’m embarrassed at how thin my skin has gotten, especially when I’ve been growing it out for years.”

[Ashley G. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Witty, smart, well cited, really thoughtful quotes, but not as funny as I was hoping. Glad I read it

[Mark Fajet · Rating 3 out of 5]

It might be an issue with my expectations, but I was hoping this would be funnier. It definitely had funny jokes in it, but was much more serious overall than I expected and just not the kind of thing I’m in to.

[Emily]

Can’t quite put a finger on what’s not working about this audiobook for me, which is a bummer because I’ve enjoyed Aparna Nancherla’s stand up before and had this preordered. I guess I just don’t think the tone is quite matching up with Aparna’s dry brand of humor, and I’m definitely bored by the over-defining of terms and generally clinical feel.

[Dot526 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not at all what I expected - certainly a marketing miss. However, I found this memoir/collection of essays to be an informative, empathetic and entertaining look at various mental and emotional issues. Funny in parts but overall compelling and not really comedic.

[Eat Sleep Read (Ashley) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 ⭐️

[ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

i’ve never felt more seen. aparna ILY FOREVER

[Brown Girl Bookshelf]

Aparna Nancherla, known for making audiences laugh, proves she can translate her relatable observations into a different medium with her debut essay collection, "Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome." In this profoundly personal journey, Nancherla humorously unravels the complexities of her experience with self-doubt and imposter syndrome, dedicating the book "to all the versions of ourselves the world never gets to see."

Nancherla candidly discusses the pervasive anxiety and depression that accompanied her from childhood, embodied through her ever-present companion "Brenda.” Boldly lifting the curtain on the predominantly white world of American comedy, she explores mental health and challenges stereotypes as an Indian-American woman in the industry. As readers explore the depths of her mind and the "CV of failures," we come to appreciate that each of our inner worlds deserves recognition, if not a standing ovation.

This book becomes a therapeutic anthem, granting permission for perfectionists, introverts, over-thinkers, and wallflowers to embrace themselves fully. Through a blend of humor and vulnerability, Nancherla emerges as a powerful voice, especially for South Asian American women, in navigating the elusive quest to fit in. For those who have danced with the relentless partners of fear and self-doubt, Nancherla's fearless exploration of her own human experience is a must-read.

[Matt Nyman · Rating 5 out of 5]

What Nancherla does in this book is quite spectacular in a very subtle way. She puts herself out there, honestly I think, in a thorough way that more of us should.

This is a deeply self scrutinizing autobiopic, that is easy to dislike as analysis paralysis. And at times I was deeply annoyed because she is a LOT, when it comes to herself. Just get over it already, I thought to myself, repeatedly.

But I really truly appreciated the deep effort at transparency and explaining herself. Nancherla sought out to write about aspects of herself and really shows a self awareness and a humility that are admirable and exceptional.

I think this book could be really useful for younger people who are confused and trying to navigate self identity problems, as Nancherla has been through a lot of them, at least in her own mind. Her descriptions are very smart and somewhat witty, but this is not a funny book. It’s a serious introspection, far far more insightful about who she is than other autobiographies I’ve read in this way.

I could really use Unreliable Narrator, Part II, in about 20 years to see where she goes. I hope she gets out of her mind and is able to project more, and in the end that is the great success of this book because she is projecting in writing the book.

Seems clear to me that she will be a thoughtful voice that is highly worth listening to.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Giving this five stars because it was extremely relatable to me. I am this book’s target audience. I was constantly underlining things from her experience that struck the same chord with mine. She put to words a lot that I have never been able to express.

She is a funny writer. The last couple of essays were my least favorite, but the book as a whole left me feeling like I know Aparna better than just how she portrays herself in her comedy. Recommended for introverted, anxious types.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had pretty high expectations for this book, and even though it wasn't particularly what I expected it to be, those high expectations were exceeded. The book was clearly thoroughly researched, but also very well-written and still absolutely hilarious.

*Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC*

[Anuja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just come to my house and attack me, Aparna.
Five stars. Very funny and very thoughtful, and I was stunned at times to hear my life story narrated in someone else's voice, which is not an experience I get often.

[Nazee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was funnier than I expected, based on other reviews. However the book was more of a memoir.

[Kikky George · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just couldn’t get into it. Did not finish.

[neelam · Rating 4 out of 5]

aparna’s voice in this book is so clear and there were moments throughout that blew me away, either because they were deeply relatable or because they were so well written. my favourite quote:

“It's frustrating being so constantly consumed with my own fear and doubt, but it does leave me many moments of observing my life in two speeds: that of doing and not doing.

Although maybe there is a third option, just as with fight, flight, and freeze—but without the urgency. Because there is always the doing and the not doing, but there is also the being. I wonder what that could look like.”

[Chris Brook · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty entertaining (and informative!) - especially if you go into it knowing that it's not definitively a comedy memoir, nor is it a sociological textbook - but its essays do a pretty good job blending the two.

[Katie Jennings · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm biased with a love for Aparna and everything I've seen of hers, so I really loved this. As usual, with this genre, I listened to the audio version. And, as double usual, this is the format I recommend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Stefani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love her brainy, quirky, self-aware style of comedy and the mix of humor, memoir, and cultural criticism throughout the book. Plus I always appreciate real talk on mental health from a BIPOC woman/creative-type.

[Andrew Somers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of the essays were a bit long but otherwise found it an interesting meditation!

[Elena · Rating 4 out of 5]

maybe lots of people should read this and think about anxiety

[Tasha Diamant · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know her comedy but will now investigate. I appreciated her take on being a sensitive, brown “hyphenated” (Indian-American, etc) woman in a white man’s world. I am always interested in artists’ processes and she’s very adept at describing hers.

[Bella Bassett · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hate that this book is about imposter syndrome but every other sentence was a joke and the jokes were never funny.

If I was reading this vs listening on audible I would have DNF’d a LOT sooner