Babies and Other Hazards of Sex

by Dave Barry

In this classic crack-up of a book, Dave Barry gives his wacky perspective on sex, childbirth, parenting and other forms of slow, cruel torture.

In Babies and Other Hazards of Sex, Dave exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960s that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prisons--to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.

Dave also reveals, for the first time in print, the secret chant for painless childbirth.

Then learn why no secret chant could possibly take a woman's mind off the fact that she is in such pain that she wants a gigantic comet to crash into the earth and kill her and her husband and the dotor and the nurses and everyone else in the world.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Parenting, Short Stories, Sexuality

100 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[Debbie W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was my first exposure to Dave Barry when I was pregnant in 1991. I was browsing the shelves of a book store looking for baby care books when I came across this book. On the 3-hour ride home, I was reading bits and pieces aloud to my sister-in-law as she was driving. We both were howling with laughter! Since then, whenever I found a Dave Barry book, I had to buy it! Such a relief to read and laugh out loud on almost every page! Dave Barry is my FAVOURITE writer for humour!

[Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amusing diversion from the hell that is parenting a newborn.

[Sean Halpin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must read for anyone considering having children.

[Printable Tire]

Good bathroom reading!

[Tony Laplume · Rating 5 out of 5]

I speak from professional experience when I say that the things I’m directly familiar with are covered with perfect authority within the pages of this book. It is also funny.

[J.R. Underdown · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous send-up on parenting that may seem like tinder-dry humor to someone without kids but strangely prophetic to those who've had the experience. Parents have much to laugh at and nod along to in this book while soon-to-be-parents could use it as a way to relax before the child comes.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love my Dave Barry. I think I read every book he ever published, though some before I started keeping my book journal. Warning, reading Dave Barry at a music concert in a nice Princeton recital hall comes with the danger of audibly snorting and disturbing those around you. I was a multi-tasking child, and well prepared for my future college job as a stage manager at the School of Music during which I would sit backstage and again read books instead of paying attention to the music.

[Jane Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

I smiled a lot!

This is a short piece, 1 ½ hours. I’ve heard these things before, but it’s fun to hear Dave’s take. Example: a baby’s purpose in life is filling diapers and putting disgusting things in his mouth.

Audiobook narrator Arte Johnson was good.

DATA:
Unabridged audiobook length: 1 hrs and 34 mins. Swearing language: I don’t recall any. Sexual content: none, other than jokes about sperm and eggs. Book copyright: 1984. Genre: humorous essays.

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is hysterical, and it's because it's exaggerated truth. Anyone who has or works with kids knows how dead on Dave Barry is in this book. My favorite was when he explained how to keep children from eating disgusting things they pick up off the floor. (Lure them away with something even more disgusting.)

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is hilarious. Dave Barry manages to narrate the first three years of raising a child without being offensive to virtually any parenting style or birthing preference, which is a tricky tightrope to walk. I laughed out loud a LOT. An easy, quick read.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in the 80's or 90's but it slew me afresh now. The very pinnacle of 80's humour. Not just a collection of articles, but actually written as a book, a tongue-in-cheek instructional manual.

Plenty of (respectful) sexism, so be warned, modern-day Victorian prudes.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

I devoured all of Dave Barry's stuff in high school and college, but I haven't read him in years. Now that I have a baby of my own, I remembered a lot of his jokes about babies from 30 years ago. So I reread the book, which is still pretty good. (Although not quite as hilarious as I remember.)

[Ladygodaivareyes reyes]

secrett........

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rated: B+

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was written in the 80s/early 90s, so the information is a little dated. But, birthing/parenting hasn't really changed that much, so it's still pretty funny.

[barb · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a HOOT!

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

My parents were given this book as a gift while pregnant with me. It will always be dear to my heart.

You must read this for a laugh or two. Then you should go bowling.

[Millerbug · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a cute read. Although, I'm way past having more children (closer to grandparenthood... and I'm hoping that is in the distant future) But I did get a kick out of a lot senerios in this book.

[Jolie Root]

very funny

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

An outrageously funny account of the shocking nature of first time parenthood. Take it to your next baby shower.

[Marlena]

No babies here yet. Just thought this looked funny and wanted to remember to check out at BN sometime.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry is always entertaining and a quick read.

[Matt · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read it as part of the book Dave Barry's Guide to Life.

While parts were funny, it was too crude for my tastes.

[Stephen Snyder · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very Humorous!!! Excellent book. Thank you Franklin Public Library for the loan.

[ASA · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry is really funny and this is a good book for anyone who plans to have or has ever had a baby.

[Indah Threez Lestari · Rating 4 out of 5]

146 - 2012

LOL... XD

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

there was a few funny parts. not as many as I expected.

[Gina Gallo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious, but you might not want to read it until your child is 3 and you can see the humor in it.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, a must read for all expectant parents.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Had to pull over and stop the car because hubby and I were laughing sooooo hard! A MUST read for anyone who is pregnant!!!!