Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

by Dave Barry

TAKE YOUR TRAVEL TIPS FROM DAVE BARRY,
A GUY WHO IS REALLY GONE!

Complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts (France's National Underwear Changing Day is March 12), song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through Customs (all insects must be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's own fond vacation nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S ONLY TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED is just that. You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference,

- Air Travel ( Why Birds Never Look Truly Relaxed)
- Traveling as a Family ( No, We Are NOT There Yet)
- Traveling in Europe ("Excuse me! Where is the Big Mona Lisa?")
- Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry

Genres: Humor, Travel, Nonfiction, Essays, Comedy, Ebooks, Collections

192 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published September 17, 1991

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[Debbie W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why I chose to read this book:
I've designated January 2022 as Humor Month, and since I still have an extensive collection of unread Dave Barry books, I reached for this one with hopeful fingers.

I wasn't disappointed!

Barry brings out his classic humor and sarcasm once again in this 1991 "travel guide" in which he gives "helpful hints" for travelers and pokes fun at almost every holiday hotspot and nation in the world, including the U.S.A.!

Some parts that made me laugh out loud included:
1. his Footnotes (yes, really!);
2. practical phrases in foreign languages (his German "phrases" were a hoot!);
3. handy tips for camping and staying in a hotel;
4. as a Canadian, I especially enjoyed his take on "What to See in Canada", most notably his version of Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump (with which I highly agree!); and,
5. his writing of Danish "street names"! This really brought back fond but hilarious memories during our honeymoon through the Scandinavian countries, trying to find a street sign about six inches long with a 10+ letter name, tacked onto the side of a building 100 feet away! My husband figured that in order to speak the language, one had to fill his mouth with marbles, take a drink of water, and start talking!

I highly recommend this lighthearted read for the "travel bug" in you!

Next up: another "travel guide", also published in 1991 - When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home by Erma Bombeck!

[Wes Locher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I read in just one or two sittings. It was that good (and that short). Anytime a friend or loved one of mine is going on vacation or traveling for business, I encourage them to read this book prior to their departure. They almost never do, but that's their loss.

Most critics will agree that this is Barry's best book (followed closely by "Greatest Hits"). Of the Barry titles that I have read, I would tend to agree. It's very cohesive and contains illustrations that add a dash of extra hilarity to his writing.

The section where he details every state in the USA (They're Progressive!) is worth the cover price. The way he details foreign countries that he has (and hasn't) visited are hilarious as he tends to play a lot on stereotypes, but I would read the designated section for visiting any of them to see if I agree.

If you've read anything by Dave Barry before, you know what you are going to get. A quick read, a lot of laughs, and a desire for more.

Also recommended: "Dave Barry's Greatest Hits" & "Dave Barry is Not Making this Up."

[Tom Donaghey · Rating 5 out of 5]

The 1991 DAVE BARRY'S ONLY TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED by the aforementioned Dave Barry is as funny today as it was when it was first published. Sure, the world has changed but that is mostly due to wi-fi, the internet and those instant coffee machines with the little cups. People are still the same, the countries of the world are still out there although slightly rearranged, and you still can't drink the water in South America, but funny remains funny.
And Dave Barry is funny.
So if you are planning a trip and want some great advice, get a real guide book. But if you want to stay on the patio, grilling burgers and swatting flies, here is your introduction to the world.
Warning: Take the advice offered in this book at your own risk. You may hazard splitting sides, rude stares from your neighbors on the bus, or soda snorting out your nose.
Read at your own peril. Remember, you were warned!

[Dee brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mr. Barry delivers humor once again! This is a must read before your next vacation! Two thumbs up!

[Trin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Vintage 1991: mild xenophobia, mullet, and all. Disturbingly, it feels like a gentler, more innocent time.

I will never love another Dave Barry book as much as Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs, and I should learn to accept that.

[Bryce · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Best of the Barry Books. I laugh so hard I cry when I read the synopsis of each state. If you like Barry's humor, it doesn't get any better than this.

[Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I used to wait for Dave Barry's column in the paper as a child, with his off-the-wall, crazy sense of humor that could take the most mundane, routine topic and help you see it in a whole new way. This book, written as a spoof of typical travel guide books, did not disappoint me. (I actually think he wrote it while either highly intoxicated, or high on something). Nonetheless, it contained much humorous misinformation, such as how to tourniquet a poisonous snake when camping, or how much custom agents love "tips", plus useful phrases that could come in handy in a foreign country when traveling, such as the German for, "I have got my mojo working". Anyone that has experienced the joys of traveling with children in a small car, or air travel would totally relate to his useful tips. This was a light-hearted piece of nonsensical humor that did not require much concentration or involvement.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave Barry is a funny, weird guy. He never fails to make me laugh.

[Shauna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read a lot of Dave Barry books in high school. As all cool kids do. So of course I had to get this when I saw it at a library book sale. I didn't enjoy this as much as I've enjoyed his other books--the jokes got a little tired after a while. But it had its moments.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't find this book all that funny—it may have made me smile slightly once or twice, but overall was disappointing. The humor relied too much on cliches. It was clear where the author had some first-hand experience, and where he was just filling in the blanks with made up words and obviously false, silly facts. There was also too much repetition. For example, showing the same obviously fake full page map for every major city in Europe. The first time was cute, second was also cute when you realize it's the exact same map. Third time wearing thin. And by the sixth it just feels like filler to increase the page count. A lot of the text felt the same, with jokes that are only mildly funny to begin with repeated and then repeated again.

This is the first book by Dave Barry I've read, and based on his reputation (he won a Pulitzer and has written a lot of books) I was hoping for more. The last two chapters were strongest. There's a section on staying at a quaint country inn that was the strongest section in the book, I think because it played off his experience as a columnist. I think if it were more a collection of columns and anecdotes that played to that strength, rather than trying to find something funny to say about every state in the US and every major western European country, I would have enjoyed it more.

[Namera [The Literary Invertebrate] · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first half is really good, but it degenerates a bit humour-wise at the end.

[Blog] - [Bookstagram]

[Barry Frangipane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry's irreverent sense of humor is at its best in this book. It had me laughing out loud and shaking my head in agreement many times. If one was to take Barry seriously here, one would think that he is completely nationalistic, and one who can do nothing but poke fun of other cultures. But what does one know?

Using humor, Dave Barry masterfully takes the readers on a journey questioning their own pre-conceived ideas about other cultures and other places, and the way things "should" be.

The maps of foreign cites add a great touch to the book.

[Massanutten Regional Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lisa, North River patron, June 2018, 4 stars:

Although this book was published in 1991, many of the author's observations still apply today. With his usual sharp wit, he provides tips for domestic and foreign travel. Much of the book is outrageously untrue, which Barry fans have come to expect as part of his humorous style. This guide provides a quick and enjoyable read; one might even describe the text as "dynamic" (a comment better understood once one has read the book).

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A laugh out loud funny book about the "joys" of travel. Especially funny are the synopsises (synopsi?) of the states and many European countries, none of which are flattering . I laughed until tears ran down my face and snorted in a couple of places. The maps of major European cities were quite helpful, as well as the useful phrases a traveler might need.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with all Barry's works, this was brilliant. My wife and I frequently had to stop because we were laughing so hard. The section on the states of the US was pure gold. Also read in July 2013. Also read in November 2017.

[Grace Fullerton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry understands travel better than any other humorist in American history. His descriptions of airplane travel and getting through security are dead on. His enumerations on the different countries to visit are also immensely entertaining.

[Ak · Rating 5 out of 5]

i'm absolutely devoted to dave barry, but among all his stuff this might be my favorite.

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite authors.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly anything by Dave!

[Missy · Rating 5 out of 5]

My friend Steve loaned me this to balance out my "heavier" reading and give me a laugh during my recent move. It's pretty frickin' funny.

[Carrie Szoke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is wonderfully hilarious! It is about 20 years old now, but many of his descriptions of travel still apply. Highly recommended!

[Cindyanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely recommend this to everyone because it's hilarious and you may not look at traveling the same way again (or for-go it altogether).

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the funniest books that I have ever read

[Teri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book makes me laugh out loud AND feel the need to read to others, whether they like it or not, but they usually do.

[Caramel12 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought travel guides were meant to be bland, & if your very unlucky quite boring. But Dave Barry's guide left me in stitches from start to finish a must read for all travel junkies!!

[David Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you want to travel to parts unknown (and stay there indefinitely), read this book. You'll have such a good read that you won't care where you end up.

[Amy the book-bat · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's Dave Barry. 'Nuff said.

[Chip Huyen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't usually give a book a two star rating, especially if it's from an author that I like, but boy, this book is a bore! It's almost as if Barry didn't want to write the book.

[Chelsea Hardwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

No landmark, city or nationality is left unscathed and your sides will ache from laughing.

[Steve Shilstone · Rating 5 out of 5]

When a book tries to make you laugh out loud more than once and succeeds, it gets 5 stars.