Dave Barry's Gift Guide To End All Gift Guides

by Dave Barry

The popular humorist presents a selection of more than fifty one-of-a-kind gifts for the discriminating individual, furnishing vendor names, prices, and addresses for such treasures as elephant-print Republican pants and a capsule of rodent bones regurgitated by an owl. 150,000 first printing.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Holiday, Christmas

128 pages, Hardcover

First published October 4, 1994

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[Debbie W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hold off on your Christmas shopping, folks, at least until you've read this guide - another hilarious book by my favorite humorist, Dave Barry! The "gifts" in this book had to follow Barry's strict criteria, including:
*it had to be something you could actually buy (Barry includes the price as well as the address and phone number where each gift can be located)
*it "had to achieve a level of tastelessness such that the average person could not look at it and eat at the same time."

Each gift description comes with Barry's classic brand of humor, the kind that makes me laugh so hard that it brings tears to my eyes and makes my bed shake so much that my husband wakes up, grumbling, "What the heck are you doing???"

I've actually seen some of the suggested gifts in real life! I'm thrilled that the featured items are shown in full-color photos! My personal favorite gift ideas in this guide include:
-Rude Noise Slippers
-Last Supper Wall Clock
-Giant Fiberglass Goose
-Head Lice Coloring Book (perfect gift for your child's teacher)
-Flame Jet Weeder (for the gardener in your life - they will love you for it!)

I'm sorry to say that since this book was published in 1994, prices may have changed, or (gasp!), the gifts may no longer be available and/or sold out!

Seriously though, 2020 has been a rough year for many of us in various ways. I highly recommend you find a favorite writer of humor (or two) and read their works for the remainder of the year. Whether they make you split your gut, guffaw, chuckle, or even just grin, please remember, laughter is the best medicine, and Lord knows, we ALL need a strong healthy dose right about now!

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I opened this book at random and discovered the "pineapple utility light," which seemed quite odd. Another gift item included is a rubber chicken, this was one of the most 'stolen' gifts at our annual White Elephant and thus more familiar to me. Overall, this book is good for a quick laugh.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a bit disappointed in this. Parts of it were very funny, and those parts felt like what I would expect from Dave Barry. However, I think that in other places, he went a bit too far. It's one thing to make fun of a motorized rubber rat that looks as though it were caught in a trap (weird!), But making fun of a wire device that's supposed to expand sinuses and help people breathe--that came off as cruel. There is no great reason for making a prank rat, but the sinus device was meant to help people. It was made for a specific group of people to fix a specific problem. I have heard of this problem also being corrected through surgery, so there is medical precedence for addressing the issue. When Barry ordered the item, he received with it a hand-written letter from its maker explaining how it works and how it has helped others who have suffered. When I think of the inventor innocently writing to someone whom he thinks he can help, only to have that same letter be used to make fun of him--that about breaks my heart.

But it was more than just insensitivity that detracts from this book's quality. Pop culture references make this book seem dated, political insults feel out-of-place in this type of comedy, and some ideas he mocks (such as composting) have actually caught on. Worth reading, but not his best.

[Mayda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny at times but just plain strange at others, this quick read was not waste of time, but parts of it came close. Clearly, some of these “gift” items were not meant as gifts but rather as educational or helpful medical items. There are unusual gift items available – things that are marketed as gifts; these are the items the author should have chosen. Not up to Dave Barry’s usual standards of humor.

[Elevetha · Rating 3 out of 5]

2013 review

I found his commentary not quite up to his usual standard. And, it must be said, how are some of these things even real?

2023 review

Some of the commentary is still not up to the humor standard I expect, but the creative uses for deceased hunter's ashes, as well as the private cow parts and giant fiberglass goose, really are fabulous gifts.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this. Let great hilarity ensue. Of course now with the internet, any guy with a blog can make fun of ridiculous things they find in catalogs(/online), and much faster. But at the time, it was groundbreaking comedy.

[Miss Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Amusing at times and ludicrous the rest (why do people make some of this stuff and even more pressing, who pays money for it?!), but not one of his best. Still, the idea of putting "Bossy" in the guest room has merit.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this. Too funny.

[Kim Freitas · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many great ideas, so few gift recipients. I can't wait to start my holiday shopping!!

[Katya Starling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm tempted to give this book four stars instead of three, an additional star for the talent of the author (I've always immensely enjoyed his work since first coming across his computer book way back in the '90s) and the chuckles with which it blessed my husband and me. It's rare we get to enjoy a book together, but this was certainly one we did -- in fact, I'm going to go ahead and give it four for that very reason. Barry provided us with some much needed laughs when RL certainly wasn't giving us any! But still, it's a one-time only read. :( Now if only I could find his computer book again!

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave Barry’s books always make me chuckle. One such quote, for the Internal Revenue Service Christmas Tree Ornament, “This unique gift idea was created by the Treasury Historical Association, a nonprofit organization that will use the proceeds to purchase new cattle prods for needy IRS agents.”
Granted this book was published in 1994 - and some of the notable names referenced are dead - I’m stuck between the Flame Jet Weeder and the Nose Spreader. Order today!

[Peter Barr · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Dave Barry perusing a number of catalogs and/or websites or collecting those sent in by readers and writing about gift items from them. I'm a huge Dave Barry fan but this is not my favorite. It's OK though.

[Monica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I should have checked date super outdated. I grabbed it from the library. A quick read. Would have been better to look up odd things from Amazon and read an article

[Jimyanni · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK, this is just a silly piece of fluff, but it's a FUN silly piece of fluff, and that's all it ever aspired to be. It's a collection of items that are actually available for purchase, with all relevant information necessary to purchase them, that NO ONE in their right mind would ever buy, along with Dave Barry's comments. (As an example, perhaps the most "normal" item in the book is a rubber chicken; one of the less-normal items was a motrized prank rat, a realistic rubber rat with it's nose caught in a trap that wriggles and writhes when a loud noise is registered.)

[elstaffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not quite as full of ridiculous gifts as the online column I remember first coming across by Mr. Barry, but still full of some amazing gift ideas. I particularly cannot wait to get someone a giant fiberglass goose at the next appropriate gift giving occasion.

[Bryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can have your Delillos, Updikes and Mailers. Barry is one of the best writers in America.

[Jed · Rating 4 out of 5]

A giant fiberglass goose, fake slugs for the trashmen, a tongue scraper.

[Kelli · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this in about 30 minutes. Cute.

[Holden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty dang funny. His review of "Mall Madness" is my favorite. ("Note to kids: If your parents don't buy this game for you, it's because they don't love you.") Heh!

[Linda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the second little flippant book of his that I've read. I think this'll do it for Dave Barry and me. Amusing, but dated.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty funny, but not one of his best.

[Kimberly]

it makes it much easier to figure out gift-giving...really, trust me

[Dolly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dated, but still very humorous. I enjoy reading Dave Barry's books and love the comic relief. Quick, fun read.

[Megan (ReadingRover) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. A bit outdated but some were funny, pretty good gag gifts, others were duds. Have a few. Tried a few. Might try a few new ones. Definitely won’t try some others.