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The Empty Crypts
(Target audience recommended: Young Adult such as Jr. High Boys to College Male dumb humor)
Since no one has yet to do a proper spoof on the greatest ghost hunter ever: Zak Bagans (Ghost Adventures TV show), only one man took the task. (That man now has a bloody nose.)
The Empty Crypts Vol: I is fast pace, short and on crack. Perfect for something to read on a long trip, boring day at work or for the short attention span.
Over a hundred and eighty six animals are said to be extinct. Sixty Seven of those turned out to be living and well. What if those recent Dinosaur sightings turned out to not be hoaxes.
Tristan Lupuchi, who travels around the world getting locked into the most haunted locations, alone; thinks the sightings maybe ghost of deceased Dinosaurs.
Everyone who has visited these locations, has either gone missing, died or footage stolen. With the help of a group of curious folks will they find the answers if they survive?
Readers should note that this is not a deep story, but something fun/ridiculous and spoofing on conspiracy thrillers. This story is fast pace, short and on crack. Perfect for something to read on a long trip, boring day at work or for the short attention span.
Join in for a dark comedy/adventure/thriller.
Recommended 14 and up for inappropriateness, and dark imagery.
For t-shirts, book trailer, and other kick butt merch visit geoffreybrokos.com/store.htm
Since no one has yet to do a proper spoof on the greatest ghost hunter ever: Zak Bagans (Ghost Adventures TV show), only one man took the task. (That man now has a bloody nose.)
The Empty Crypts Vol: I is fast pace, short and on crack. Perfect for something to read on a long trip, boring day at work or for the short attention span.
Over a hundred and eighty six animals are said to be extinct. Sixty Seven of those turned out to be living and well. What if those recent Dinosaur sightings turned out to not be hoaxes.
Tristan Lupuchi, who travels around the world getting locked into the most haunted locations, alone; thinks the sightings maybe ghost of deceased Dinosaurs.
Everyone who has visited these locations, has either gone missing, died or footage stolen. With the help of a group of curious folks will they find the answers if they survive?
Readers should note that this is not a deep story, but something fun/ridiculous and spoofing on conspiracy thrillers. This story is fast pace, short and on crack. Perfect for something to read on a long trip, boring day at work or for the short attention span.
Join in for a dark comedy/adventure/thriller.
Recommended 14 and up for inappropriateness, and dark imagery.
For t-shirts, book trailer, and other kick butt merch visit geoffreybrokos.com/store.htm
210 pages, Paperback
First published August 26, 2011
52 people want to read
About the author
Geoffrey Brokos
3 books5 followers(Currently working on an animated comedy/adventure webshow for the Empty Crypts and writes stories/admins for www.trenchcoatpanda.com)
Geoffrey Brokos, born on 6, 18, 1832 in Poland to a Polish father and mother who snuck over to America when they heard of a gold rush in 1848. Geoffrey and his dad would travel to California into gold mines seeking fortune.
It wasn't until 1855 when the rush was nearly over, the family thought they we're going to starve to death with the only little gold they found was being traded for one last meal.
Luck would have it, after Geoffrey ate his last meal before he ventured deep in the Oregon Mystic cavern, (Since they were in Oregon) and Geoffrey was walking around when he fell threw a crack in a dark part of the cave.
Screaming for help and looking for a way to get out without a light; he began rubbing rocks against the rocky floor to get a spark and set his clothes on fire. With a fire brewing, he could see miles of gold sparking back at him.
At that moment, naked, he stumbled to the ground in pain, and had a very long vision. He picked up a rock and began to write what he saw on the wall. He wrote visions of the future so unexplainable at the time. Unfortunately he ran out of wall and fell into a pile of lava.
In 2008, on a tour in Oregon Mystic Cavern, one of the teenagers walked off the path and fell into the same hole Geoffrey did. He used his cell phone and saw all the drawings of each cover of the book (very helpful) and writings written in a language he didn't know on the wall. He also saw a skeleton hand sticking out of the lava with a rock smear on the wall leading there. (Determined later to be the skeleton remains of Geoffrey Brokos.
When I J.S Pumplet, of the National Preservation of Literature, visited the cave, where I learned about the treasure after reading all the writing. I contacted the teenager, but he claimed that the gold wasn't there either when he fell. So who took the gold? We noticed that there were symbols that were not in the same hand writing as Geoffrey. Were these symbols a code of where the treasure had gone?
My team decided to translate all the stories from Polish to English, a process that will end up with eight books. All stories seem to take place in the same "Universe", as with reoccurring characters, and other plots being solved in other stories. We wont know what the symbols mean till we finish the translation of all stories.
Though the translation the stories seemed to be adventure comedy thrillers, with deep dark satire. Sometimes with heart or ridiculousness.
You can contact me, J.S. Pumplet, at the authors website we set up for him:
http://www.geoffreybrokos.com
Geoffrey Brokos, born on 6, 18, 1832 in Poland to a Polish father and mother who snuck over to America when they heard of a gold rush in 1848. Geoffrey and his dad would travel to California into gold mines seeking fortune.
It wasn't until 1855 when the rush was nearly over, the family thought they we're going to starve to death with the only little gold they found was being traded for one last meal.
Luck would have it, after Geoffrey ate his last meal before he ventured deep in the Oregon Mystic cavern, (Since they were in Oregon) and Geoffrey was walking around when he fell threw a crack in a dark part of the cave.
Screaming for help and looking for a way to get out without a light; he began rubbing rocks against the rocky floor to get a spark and set his clothes on fire. With a fire brewing, he could see miles of gold sparking back at him.
At that moment, naked, he stumbled to the ground in pain, and had a very long vision. He picked up a rock and began to write what he saw on the wall. He wrote visions of the future so unexplainable at the time. Unfortunately he ran out of wall and fell into a pile of lava.
In 2008, on a tour in Oregon Mystic Cavern, one of the teenagers walked off the path and fell into the same hole Geoffrey did. He used his cell phone and saw all the drawings of each cover of the book (very helpful) and writings written in a language he didn't know on the wall. He also saw a skeleton hand sticking out of the lava with a rock smear on the wall leading there. (Determined later to be the skeleton remains of Geoffrey Brokos.
When I J.S Pumplet, of the National Preservation of Literature, visited the cave, where I learned about the treasure after reading all the writing. I contacted the teenager, but he claimed that the gold wasn't there either when he fell. So who took the gold? We noticed that there were symbols that were not in the same hand writing as Geoffrey. Were these symbols a code of where the treasure had gone?
My team decided to translate all the stories from Polish to English, a process that will end up with eight books. All stories seem to take place in the same "Universe", as with reoccurring characters, and other plots being solved in other stories. We wont know what the symbols mean till we finish the translation of all stories.
Though the translation the stories seemed to be adventure comedy thrillers, with deep dark satire. Sometimes with heart or ridiculousness.
You can contact me, J.S. Pumplet, at the authors website we set up for him:
http://www.geoffreybrokos.com
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
October 29, 2011
(Disclaimer: I won this book free from goodreads.)
When I first got this book, I had very high hopes. The story line seems impressive, and there were a lot of very neat places Mr. Brokos could go with it. Ghosts of Dinosaurs? Oh yeah, sign me up.
When I received the book, I flipped through it, like I normally do, skimming random pages, getting a glimpse of the writing. It can tell you a lot. I cringed a bit, at some of the wording, but figured I'd give it a shot anyway.
This was a mistake.
The writing style, is that of a young teen. The main character makes MANY references to his body, and how awesome he thinks it is. And it adds absolutely nothing to the story. There is no reason, what so ever to include it, as it adds very little in the way of character development. Character development as a whole, is shaky, at best, and you're left wondering why you should care about what happens to any of these people. There is very little build up of back story, and it throws you into the middle of a scene, with no explanation of events leading up to that point. Mr. Brokos could use a good editor. Some of the writing is worded in an awkward fashion, and others are phrased vaguely at best. I'm sure there's decent book, hidden somewhere under what I had read. But I obviously didn't find it.
I cannot remember if this was an ACR or not. Even still, there were so many issues with formatting. The text is not all a uniform size. Some paragraphs are larger font, some are smaller. I first thought it was to differentiate between the main character filming his show, and his actual life. I would be wrong. The jumps in sizing seems random at best, and a bit distracting. There was also about a paragraph and a half that wasn't printed, which is in no way the author's fault, but figured it worth mentioning here, as a warning. There were photos in this book, which looked like they were taken off of computer screen, then printed. The Photoshop jobs on some of the graphics were absolutely horrible, and instead of adding to the story, it took away from it, what little story there is.
I would LOVE to see Mr. Brokos go more in-depth to his characters, and give some more back story to them. He has apparently written an entire book about another character, Cory, but given my experience with this one, I wouldn't want to read it.
The only thing that left me a little curious, was the ending. I know there is a second book coming out, but that little bit of curiosity, is not enough to make me want to try to get through another of his books.
When I first got this book, I had very high hopes. The story line seems impressive, and there were a lot of very neat places Mr. Brokos could go with it. Ghosts of Dinosaurs? Oh yeah, sign me up.
When I received the book, I flipped through it, like I normally do, skimming random pages, getting a glimpse of the writing. It can tell you a lot. I cringed a bit, at some of the wording, but figured I'd give it a shot anyway.
This was a mistake.
The writing style, is that of a young teen. The main character makes MANY references to his body, and how awesome he thinks it is. And it adds absolutely nothing to the story. There is no reason, what so ever to include it, as it adds very little in the way of character development. Character development as a whole, is shaky, at best, and you're left wondering why you should care about what happens to any of these people. There is very little build up of back story, and it throws you into the middle of a scene, with no explanation of events leading up to that point. Mr. Brokos could use a good editor. Some of the writing is worded in an awkward fashion, and others are phrased vaguely at best. I'm sure there's decent book, hidden somewhere under what I had read. But I obviously didn't find it.
I cannot remember if this was an ACR or not. Even still, there were so many issues with formatting. The text is not all a uniform size. Some paragraphs are larger font, some are smaller. I first thought it was to differentiate between the main character filming his show, and his actual life. I would be wrong. The jumps in sizing seems random at best, and a bit distracting. There was also about a paragraph and a half that wasn't printed, which is in no way the author's fault, but figured it worth mentioning here, as a warning. There were photos in this book, which looked like they were taken off of computer screen, then printed. The Photoshop jobs on some of the graphics were absolutely horrible, and instead of adding to the story, it took away from it, what little story there is.
I would LOVE to see Mr. Brokos go more in-depth to his characters, and give some more back story to them. He has apparently written an entire book about another character, Cory, but given my experience with this one, I wouldn't want to read it.
The only thing that left me a little curious, was the ending. I know there is a second book coming out, but that little bit of curiosity, is not enough to make me want to try to get through another of his books.
May 29, 2017
Got this through goodreads giveaways!
I was aware this was a parody, so I thought it would be funny, but not... bad funny. That kind of humor doesn't really work for me in books, because well...books take a lot more time than a movie.
You might enjoy it if you enjoy reading bad books, but that's all this is (and possibly on purpose? I can't imagine it's this bad without meaning to be).
I was aware this was a parody, so I thought it would be funny, but not... bad funny. That kind of humor doesn't really work for me in books, because well...books take a lot more time than a movie.
You might enjoy it if you enjoy reading bad books, but that's all this is (and possibly on purpose? I can't imagine it's this bad without meaning to be).
November 11, 2011
**********THIS WAS A GOODREADS.COM FIRST READ CONTEST WIN!!!**********
This book was just weird. Sorry the writing does not seem like an adult wrote the book. It makes me wonder if the author actually thinks he will convince any one that there are ghost of Dinosaurs. Sorry but that one did get a laugh out of me.
**********THIS WAS A GOODREADS.COM FIRST READ CONTEST WIN!!!**********
This book was just weird. Sorry the writing does not seem like an adult wrote the book. It makes me wonder if the author actually thinks he will convince any one that there are ghost of Dinosaurs. Sorry but that one did get a laugh out of me.
**********THIS WAS A GOODREADS.COM FIRST READ CONTEST WIN!!!**********
November 13, 2011
I actually thought this book was interesting because of the dinosaur twist and wouldn't mind reading the 2nd one. The only two things that really bugged me was the spelling errors and the font change throughout the book.
April 9, 2012
I received this book from a Goodreads First Reads Giveaway.
December 26, 2011
Way too many grammer and spelling errors. Hardly any plot at all. Characters under developed.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews