I Will Close My Eyes

by Amy Fillion

I woke up this morning, the day of Barbara’s funeral, and I fell out of bed.

And so begins the tale of one-hundred-and-one-year-old Martha Mayhew. Born in southern New Hampshire in the early 1920s, Martha meets her new neighbor Barbara Brown at the tender age of three and a half. The two girls learn immediately that they are bound to each other, and as the years progress, their friendship blossoms.

But though Martha’s home is loving and supportive, she learns quickly that Barbara’s is not. Why does Mr. Brown do the things he does? And why, too, does Barbara’s older brother, Robert, make Martha feel so internally uncomfortable?

With Barbara at her side, Martha grows into a young woman, falls in love, and maneuvers a nuanced life filled with both tenderness and heartbreak—from the Great Depression to World War Two to Vietnam and to the AIDS epidemic of the ’80s.

When you are bonded to another as Martha is to Barbara, you feel their happiness and sorrow as well as your own—explicitly and undeniably. They are intertwined, and it is together that lessons are absorbed and hearts learn to heal.

Genres: Fiction

284 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 31, 2023

About the author

Amy Fillion is the author of both adult and children's fiction. She is raising three energetic boys in New Hampshire with her husband, attempting not to become too annoyed with her three unruly rescue cats, and immensely enjoying cuddles from her rescue dog. She worked in the field of early intervention after graduating from the University of New Hampshire with a degree in psychology. She then left that job to stay home with her growing children.

She loves discussing books with friends, the smell of coffee brewing, reading outdoors in the warmer months, and elephants.

She also loves to hear from readers. You can find her at www.amyfillion.com.

Reviews

[Cynthia Kirchner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautifully written story about family, friendships, and love told through the eyes of a 101 year old woman. It did get a bit long winded and repetitive, but I still enjoyed it.

[Paula Garrecht · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this novel, written in the first party voice of Martha at the age of 101 while attending the funeral of her best friend, who has been her best friend since both girls were 3 years old. The author has done a beautiful job of writing in the tone and dialogue of an elderly woman born in 1920, looking back on her life. A most enjoyable read!

[Alicia Leno · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down! There was no spectacular storyline, just the telling of a lifetime for an ordinary old lady as she reflects. Makes my heart smile 🥰 Embrace this life and all your blessings!

[Sharon Dailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Martha is 101 years old and attending her best friend's funeral, whom she met when she was 3 1/2 years old. The book recounts Martha's 101 years of friendship, family, love, and heartache.

[Jessica Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good read!

I read this book in a few hours. This has been a difficult year for me! I've been asking myself many of the same questions, addressed herein. I lost my daughter and oldest granddaughter in a terrible wreck in February.
My third oldest granddaughter, and I survived. This book enthralled me. I'm still recovering from my physical injuries. I come from a family with great longevity! I'm 71. This book touched my heart! Reliving memories, believing in the hereafter, looking forward with faith, help the mourning process. I fee this author has given a good description pushing forward with faith and acceptance!

[Lynne Husbands · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of the best!

Have been looking for a book like this !Beautifully written and so inspiring! Thanks for this blessing!You will love it!

[Melissa Martinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely

A lovely reflection of her beautiful life the storyteller made me smile and cry. Her story drew me in from the first page and I walked through her 101 years with her.

[denise watrous · Rating 5 out of 5]

The circle of life

Feeling age creep through me leaving me petrified I found that this book has given me a new perspective. Hope. Sincerely told through the eyes and heart of a women blessed to live for over 100 years. Memories are all we leave behind...make them lasting.

[Marta Ratliff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Will Close My Eyes is a 5 star read! 2 little girls become best friends at the age of 3 and stay that way for a long life, clear into their 100s. This book spanned many decades with a lot of happiness and tragedies. It's definitely a tear jerker, but it's worth the plugged up head. Thanks for giving us this beautiful touching book, Amy Fillion! Now it's going to be hard for me to start another one!

[Debora · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very informative and loving story.. I’m not sure the history books told the things that I’m sure was how it might have been in those days.. The story started with Martha Laplant meeting her neighbor Barbara Brown they were 3yrs old at the time.. they formed a relationship right away.. Martha’s parents are Ruth and Arthur Laplant and they live in New Hampshire in the early 1920’s .. Martha lived in a very loving home and she was an only child… her friend Barbara on the other hand lived with 2 brothers Robert and Eugene Brown… Now!! This is what I’m taking about the history..

Did you know that the police wouldn’t do anything about a man beating a lady in the 1920’s to the 1947…. “WTF” I was so upset about that .. 😢 and!! They took up for rapist? This was so mind boggling to me.. I’m sorry for giving that part away but!! U don’t know who.. it’s an amazing story Martha is telling the story at 101 yrs old and it’s going to hurt you for all the things her and her friend endured throughout the story.. it’s going to introduce Merle Mayhew, Annabelle, Mary Lou, Mr and Mrs. Brown, Joseph Groggle and Edward …

The story all happening in the Great Depression and during World War I and World War II with the drafting of young men for the war.. I have to tell you it gave me a sense of acknowledgment, and some anger for the way people were treated during that era.. It’s a great book you have to read it.. I have to say Martha at 101yrs old told a magnificent story. You are going to enjoy it, cause I did.. 🫶🥰😋

[Lori Kelso · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read

I truly enjoyed every word of this book. I've read it a serendipitous time of my life. I have much in common with the main character, a!though I am not, and don't really expect to live to be 101, but I am old enough to face the possibility that time is running shorter for my husband, myself and my best friend of 45 years. My life has been really amazing and there are so many wonderful memories to look back on .
The book was sweet and while I could have put it down, I never wanted to. I definitely recommend reading it if you are lucky enough to have an amazing best friend, or just people you care deeply about and have for many years.

[Laura Reynebeau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe 3.75 stars? I did struggle to get back into the story at times and it took me quite a while to get through. I cried once or twice. I loved Martha and Barbara, and am pretty jealous of their lifelong friendship tbh, I wish I knew what it was like to have a friend like that 🥺🥹. But I also cringed a few times at how cheesy some of the lines were and might start a drinking game based on the amount of times the author says “by golly” 😂

I also liked that the audiobook narrator sounded like you were visiting a lady at a nursing home who was recounting her life story to you. So cute and wholesome.

[Jill Cohen · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are looking for a beautifully written and touching story, this is it. Told through the eyes of 101 year old Martha, Ms Fillion expertly captures her speech pattern and you feel like you are really listening to a story told by someone born in the 1920's.
The chapters are long. Each chapter focuses on a special person in Martha's life. Yet each chapter advances the story at a nice even pace.
Considering Martha's age, you know tears will be shed, but that only because you grow to love these characters so much.

[Marianne Lopapa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review:

My first time reading a book by this author....I absolutely think it's a beautiful book....It's about life & living & the smallest moments that explode and the hardest moments we all go thru ....Unforgettable characters and a story that will leave an imprint on your heart ❤️....It's a story I won't soon forget as I dry my tears now .....Thank- you for a most enjoyable read ....I look forward to more books ...M.L.😊

[Steed · Rating 2 out of 5]

most mundane book I have ever read

I just kept waiting for something to happen. This was literally just like dropping into an ordinary life. Usually, in a book you drop into an exciting, even breathtaking story in someone’s life. This entire thing was mundane. Sure, the characters had their little dramas, but I just can’t get away from that word. It was ordinary. It was mundane. I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

[linda vrooman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Book So full of Love

Maybe Love is really all that matters for sure it's what most of us think of when it's our turn to p as to the next realm. This is a feel good book and e enjoyed tho most of us don't and won't lead the life she lived surrounded by loving family and friends it us the life we all wish for. Good read

[Edie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have read in ages! Made me think about the process of aging, how quickly we slowly age!
I'm 74 and reasonably healthy, but this story really made me realize aging happens every day, till you wake up one day and actually acknowledge that you are now part of " the older generation "! Life happens, don't skip the best parts, enjoy every moment, it's truly a gift.

[James E Withner, Nancy Withner · Rating 4 out of 5]

My mother will be turning 101 in November and this lovely book gave me an insight into her life during the depression and wars and how it shaped her and her decisions at the time. It is a well written and heartfelt story of the friendship, love and experiences of a women whose life focused around love, love, love.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Martha the main protagonist looks back at 101 years of her life. She recounts meeting her lifelong best friend at the ripe old age of 3 1/2 years and the story goes on to the first time she set eyes on her future husband. Martha has a full and rich life and this is a beautifully written account with all its joy and sorrow, it’s ups and downs.

[Rosanna Moses · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a delightful story. When I was 6 years old, my family moved into a house and my next door neighbor was exactly a girl my age. We were best friends and we're still friends to this day which is 76 years later. I really could relate to the story. It's wonderful to grow up with a best friend and still be friends today.

[Colleen Hensel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fictional narration by a 101 yr old woman reminiscing about her life. Although there are feel-good vibes of family, love and friendship, I found much of the prose was repitious and at times boring. The story was very predictable. Not my favorite with so much good women's literature in print now!

[Amanda Rhea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartwarming

This book is captivating and heartwarming from the first line to the last. It is filled with life’s ups and downs of a life well lived and touches so many different generational issues from wars to forbidden love. A must read novel regardless of your taste in literature!

[Doris Pritt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life Goes On

The characters in this book are delightful. Well, most of them. Th is reminded me of my childhood friends whom I still am in touch with or get together with a couple times a year. A life can take many roads but remain in the heart. I met my husband at 16 years old and we have been married 59 years so I could relate with Martha and Merle.

[Nancy Gutreich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will close my eyes

You are now my favorite author. I loved your book Penelope. I loved this book. The death of Mere started the tears and continued with Barbara's Thank goodness the story ended cause I don't think I could have handled any more. Now onto another book written by you

[Jane Tanner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written

An outstanding novel which makes you reflect on your own life experiences. Martha and Merle had lived a beautiful life together which will be remembered long after you’ve finished their story.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! So good!

I loved this book! Such a wonderful story that really makes you think. I laughed and I cried. So heartwarming. It is written sort of like a memoir, and what a good concept in a fiction story. Totally recommend this one.

[Barbara Grant · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely, loving story! As I approach my 79th year, I found it full of rewarding reminders, and the blessing of knowing that my life has had a positive impact on others. Well-done! Looking forward to reading more by this author and wishing her all the best.

[W CARL PHILLIPS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful

Oh my, this book is so heart warming. I believe it is one of the best books I have ever read. I loved watching Martha and Barbara grow up. I too have a very special friend like they were. I just became part of the book. I didn't want to put it down

[Donna J. Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story that reminds us we never know what someone else is going through. That kindness doesn’t have to be grandiose to mak3 a differenc3 to someone’s day. A heartbreak book when the reader is pulling for characters that are likeable.

[Teresa Viebrock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply beautiful

It is a well written novel of a life filled with love. From the 1920s to the 2020s, the main character lived a life that most of us only dream of. It is hard to believe that the main character is not a real person.