Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

by P.J. O'Rourke

In Modern Manners cultural guru P. J. O'Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman-a rulebook for living in a world without rules.

Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, and thus of avoiding calling attention to one's own awkwardness and stupidity. Today, with everyone wanting to appear special, stupidity is at a premium and manners-as outrageous and bizarre as possible-are a wonderful way to distinguish ourselves, or have a fine time trying.

Modern Manners is an irreverent and hilarious guide to anti-etiquette that offers pointed advice on a range of topics from sex and entertaining to reading habits and death. With the most up-to-date forms of vulgarity, churlishness, and presumption, the latest fashions in discourtesy and barbarous display, P. J. O'Rourke makes it easier for all of us to survive with style in a rude world.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Essays, Cultural, Satire, Politics

280 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1983

About the author

Patrick Jake "P. J." O'Rourke is an American political satirist, journalist, writer, and author. O'Rourke is the H. L. Mencken Research Fellow at the Cato Institute and is a regular correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly, The American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard, and frequent panelist on National Public Radio's game show Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!. Since 2011 O'Rourke has been a columnist at The Daily Beast. In the United Kingdom, he is known as the face of a long-running series of television advertisements for British Airways in the 1990s.

He is the author of 20 books, of which his latest, The Baby Boom: How It Got That Way (And It Wasn’t My Fault) (And I’ll Never Do It Again), was released January 2014. This was preceded on September 21, 2010, by Don't Vote! – It Just Encourages the Bastards, and on September 1, 2009, Driving Like Crazy with a reprint edition published on May 11, 2010. According to a 60 Minutes profile, he is also the most quoted living man in The Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations.

Reviews

[Simone · Rating 5 out of 5]

P.J. O'Rourke was my first introduction to politics back in elementary school (I always was a bit ahead of the curve.) I read an excerpt from this book in Rolling Stone Magazine in the early 80's, and he's been one of my favorite writers ever since. Who would've ever guessed I had so much in common with a Republican Baby-Boomer from New England? Well, at least as far as making fun of the politics, not necessarily of the policies themselves...

[Spencer]

This book was hilarious! It reminded me of David Sedaris and Running With Scissors. I liked the way his rules of life are divided into sections. People who enjoy comedy in their books should read this. Its also good for advisory reading because people usually get bored and distracted but this is entertaining enough to stay focused on.

[Magda · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book tries to be as witty as Ambrose Bierce, but only occasionally comes close, so really achieves high-school or college student humor. I got to page 31 before giving up.

[Ak · Rating 4 out of 5]

doesn't really make one like men very much, but boy is he funny. spoiler fav (paraphrased) quote: about being on acid: "it is difficult to observe all the niceties of social etiquette when one is being chased down the street by a nine-headed cactus."

[Mir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely funnny. I laughed out loud, and I'm usually more of the wry smile type. I read this in the 90s and suspect that some sections may be a bit dated now, but I think it will hold up pretty well. This is not very political, so don't be put off by thinking of O'Rourke's later conservatism.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was laugh-out-loud funny. I only wish he would write and updated version to include cell phones and other vices of today.

[Ben · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as funny as it seemed twenty-five years ago. But then, neither am I.

[Caro · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought that I was going to enjoy more. It has a good moments that I was LOL but then others that were not so good, nevertheless is a light read that can put a smile in your face.

[Frederic Van Laere · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lu en VF. Pour la énième fois. Toujours aussi hilarant.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember buying this book at a college bookstore while on vacation. I remember laughing out loud at nearly everything in it. I remember reading aloud from it to my sister and my friend Spencer. We thought it was genius, at the time. Whether or not it would still strike me as genius, I don't know. I've since kind of come to hate P.J. O'Rourke. So there's that. I probably only liked it because it had bad words in it.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

Don't get me wrong, I went into this book figuring there'd be something to like and something to dislike. I enjoy the author's NPR shenanigans. This book was very much written in a previous decade, though, and it's a bit dated, and it was hard to read in 2015. I think that's a function of the genre (humor is often context-specific) and not a function of the writer.

[Fishface · Rating 3 out of 5]

This started out hilarious, with a lot of very cutting comments about the changes in America's basic standards of courtesy, but I thought the book started to lose steam part of the way through. It was worth finishing and enjoyable, but by the end I was no longer gasping for air because I was laughing too hard to breathe.

[James Patterson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am a huge fan of PJ O'Rourke. This is by far his weakest work ever. While there are a few decent chuckles, for the most part the book is a bore. It completely lacks the bitter irony and sarcasm of his better work.

[Lexi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Outdated and, therefore, incredibly racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. Not my type of humor at all - it was like an entire book of dad jokes. I didn’t want to read it, so it took me a while to get through it, but I don’t usually bail on books. Skip this one and leave it in the 80s where it belongs...

[amie · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5 stars. This book is pretty dumb. I’ve had it for 15+ years and finally decided to read and donate it because I thought it would be quick and funny. Instead it was sexist, racist, homophobic and a waste of time. I found 3 things throughout the book semi comical. Not worth the time or the energy.

[Wendy Wittmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fanfuckingtastic! A random birthday gift from Daniel, who shares my caustic, bitter love of the idiotic as well as the futile task of keeping up appearances.

[Aria · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dnf p.4, b/c it was that bad. Note to self: Avoid this author in the future.

[Floyd K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Calling P.J O'Rourke a 'cultural guru' as per the blurb on this site is just silly. He was a humourist who towards the end of his life became less funny and less interesting by promoting himself to sage and pontificator. Also the bio for him on this site doesn't seem to have noticed that O'Rourke has died.
That said, he was quite the funniest thing around when he was in his prime - roughly from his National Lampoon days to 'Parliament of Whores' when the self-promotion to right-wing pontificator started to set in.
This book was an absolute scream when I read it in the 80s. It's still funny, but the edition I'm reading now is marred by a British publisher's decision to act as though non-US readers know nothing of the USA, and translate American terms into British; 'episcopalian' becomes 'Anglican', Harvard becomes Oxford and so on. This makes a lot of the gags fall flat.

[J-H. vW · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very funny. And even though it was published in the mid 1990's, I think it is still actual, maybe even more so now than then.

The basic premise seems to be that good manners are just an exageration of who you really are, and here the book indicts most people. Nobody seems to have substance anymore, people have inflated ego's, especially those who are considered succesful. But there is an underlying tone which seems to suggest that if we were a little more civil to each other, rather than opinionated, society would be a much better place.

It is a book about Americans and how they can be extremely rude, while thinking they are quite polite. I am an European but there are lessons to be learned here. Especially as an increasing number of people seem to be "Americanized" (there is a warning here, I blame television).

Did I like this book? "Fuck, yeah!"

The book is probably best summarized in the final quote:
Etiquette is for those who have no breeding,
Fashion is for those who have no taste.

[Priscilla King · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even in the 1980s, did P.J. O'Rourke hang out with people who were this rude? Doubtful. Is it even physically possible to do some of the rude things described in this book? Doubtful. That's why the idea of these behaviors having become acceptable is funny. The whole purpose of this book is to consist of nonstop jokes, such that a person using laughter for pain management can open the book anywhere and start working the diaphragm muscle to get the endorphin flowing. Do not read it while eating or in the company of people who don't want to share the laughs.

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

O’Rourke is an amusing dichotomy. How many people can say they moved through their career by starting as an editor/writer at that bastion of conservative thought, National Lampoon, to end up a stalwart Libertarian and bitcoin activist? Witty dog. While not his funniest compendium of observations of human absurdity, it’s still a fun read. I’m hoping he’s now amusing St. Peter by either making obscene balloon animals, or coaching angels how to smoke cigars and which brands of whiskey are de rigueur.

[Millstone · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this excellent up to the point where there was one joke unacceptable by today's standards, probably not in the best taste 30 years ago, which soured the rest for me. Realistically, it's a risk satirists/comedians take and expecting material of its time to last so long is a long shot, so I'm erring on the generous side by giving it a three. Up to the ubtsj, it would have been a five. I bet he'd give a good slice of his royalties to take it back as well.

[Jerry Baird · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book, although somewhat dated. Fun to read, but somewhat offensive in areas that are now a part of a different culture. I do love P.J. ORourke and would recommend it for some good laughs. It is "An Etiquette Book for Rude People" for a reason. Too many humerous chapters to mention all, but loved Drinking, Taking Drubs, After Marriage, The Hip Funeral, Sports Manners, and Travel Etiquette. These are only a few. Satire is fun!!

[Evan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though painful on many occasions, as a cultural and historical "oeuvre", this is an important and extremely clever and funny little book. I forget who said that deep down, Hunter S Thompson was both a puritan and a moralist, but something about that rings true of O'Rourke as well after reading this.

[Timothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Miss P.J.O’Rourke

I’ve been reading through P.J. O’Rourke’s books since his passing. His satire will be missed. Our society could use more of it. We are taking ourselves way too seriously. Really enjoyed his take of manners.

[Brandon Bellinghausen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny and insightful.

[Vicki Cline · Rating 3 out of 5]

P.J. is pretty funny in this book, giving very bad etiquette advice, but I prefer his political writing, even though I don't often agree with him.

[Carol Irvin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny book about manners!

[Steve Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book that made me want to become a writer. Irreverent but so spot on. This is PJ at his best.

[Stephen Fodor · Rating 4 out of 5]

P.J. O'Rourke is one of my favourite humourists. So I really enjoyed this book.