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Skulduggery Pleasant #2.5
Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon
A jolt of Skulduggery Pleasant action for free.
Midnight. Valkyrie Cain approaches an old, ramshackle church to make a delicate deal with a trio of ugly, hairy goblins. To her absolute non-surprise, the goblins have no intention of honouring that deal- but not to worry. Skulduggery Pleasant is standing by to deliver a surprise of their own.
Things, however, don’t go exactly according to plan. Not least because the goblins have a sister. A very big, very strong sister. Who might just have a TINY crush on one of our heroes…
All the following Skulduggery Pleasant novels are available in ebook now:
• Skulduggery Pleasant
• Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing with Fire
• Skulduggery Pleasant: The Faceless Ones
• Skulduggery Pleasant: Dark Days
• Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Coil
26 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2011
About the author
Derek Landy
238 books5,388 followersDerek Landy is an Irish writer and screenwriter. In addition to the bestselling children's/YA series of Skulduggery Pleasant books, a supernatural mystery series starring Skulduggery Pleasant, a skeleton detective, and Valkyrie Cain, a young female magician, he has written two screenplays that have been made into films: the IFTA award winning "Dead Bodies" and the IFTA nominated "Boy Eats Girl". Landy himself was nominated for an IFTA for Best Script.
He doesn’t like to brag about all the awards he’s won, such as the Irish Book of the Decade, or the Red House in the UK, or all the other awards that he humbly displays on his mantelpiece. He is also far too modest to mention things like the first book being a Publisher’s Weekly Best Book of the Year, but would like to extend an invitation to Oprah to pop around one day for tea, in thanks for selecting his book for the Oprah’s Book Club Kids Reading List.
Derek plays too many video games, reads too many comics, and watches too many movies. He lives in Ireland with too many cats. Occasionally he talks to real people, but only when he absolutely has to.
He doesn’t like to brag about all the awards he’s won, such as the Irish Book of the Decade, or the Red House in the UK, or all the other awards that he humbly displays on his mantelpiece. He is also far too modest to mention things like the first book being a Publisher’s Weekly Best Book of the Year, but would like to extend an invitation to Oprah to pop around one day for tea, in thanks for selecting his book for the Oprah’s Book Club Kids Reading List.
Derek plays too many video games, reads too many comics, and watches too many movies. He lives in Ireland with too many cats. Occasionally he talks to real people, but only when he absolutely has to.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
March 30, 2017
Eh, this one wasn't the best. Had the humour, but fell quite short.
The story itself needed a bit more oomph and more snark to have full the full effect of the full books.
The story itself needed a bit more oomph and more snark to have full the full effect of the full books.
April 15, 2021
It is I, and I stand with the girl, the Elemental and the partner of the skeleton detective, and although she is late she is here, which is the important thing, and we are moving on.
Not my favourite story but it still has the humour that makes this series what it truly is and i always love having extra adventures with skulduggery and co.
Not my favourite story but it still has the humour that makes this series what it truly is and i always love having extra adventures with skulduggery and co.
March 30, 2013
So wonderful, I really missed Skulduggery, really happy to see there are more of his books. :)
January 11, 2014
“Skuluggy, I uv oo.”
What more can I say?
What more can I say?
May 24, 2019
5 “Skuluggy, I uv oo.” Stars!!
May 9, 2021
I think I might have a new favourite character. The second Peg showed up I couldn't stop laughing
November 4, 2025
That was... interesting. Fun. Wild, but fun.
October 26, 2016
Yo listen up here's a story
About a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees
Is just blue like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him and himself
And everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I have a blue house with a blue window.
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.
Blue are the people here that walk around,
Blue like my corvette, it's in and outside.
Blue are the words I say and what I think.
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I have a blue house with a blue window.
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.
Blue are the people here that walk around,
Blue like my corvette, it's in and outside.
Blue are the words I say and what I think.
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
Inside and outside blue his house
With the blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him and himself
And everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I'm blue (da ba dee da ba die)
About a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees
Is just blue like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him and himself
And everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I have a blue house with a blue window.
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.
Blue are the people here that walk around,
Blue like my corvette, it's in and outside.
Blue are the words I say and what I think.
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I have a blue house with a blue window.
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.
Blue are the people here that walk around,
Blue like my corvette, it's in and outside.
Blue are the words I say and what I think.
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
Inside and outside blue his house
With the blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him and himself
And everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I'm blue (da ba dee da ba die)
January 21, 2012
Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon is a free short story set in the Skulduggery Pleasant world. In terms of chronology it comes at the end of the second book, though I read it after the sixth and it didn't feel out of place. It is very much stand alone, containing a self contained mini adventure that is about a long chapter in length, and which can easily be read in a single sitting.
The story is short, snappy and entertaining. Crucially it doesn't feel like an afterthought either, and has the type of quality that could easily have seen it as an early chapter in a main book. As such it is essential reading for those wanting more of the Skulduggery Pleasant world. It would have to actively try to not be entertained by this. And considering it's free, you would have to try even harder to complain.
The story is short, snappy and entertaining. Crucially it doesn't feel like an afterthought either, and has the type of quality that could easily have seen it as an early chapter in a main book. As such it is essential reading for those wanting more of the Skulduggery Pleasant world. It would have to actively try to not be entertained by this. And considering it's free, you would have to try even harder to complain.
January 15, 2012
This like the other Skulduggary book is little more than an over long chapter though as before it still was able to convey the humour and wit of the series - it really does not have its full impact if you have not read the other books in the series and yet does not really add anything - but still a fun read and a must for any fan.
October 15, 2011
Not my favourite of the Skulduggery Pleasant short stories, but every SP story so far has been a lovely little treat and this was no exception.
January 31, 2012
You can read it free here: http://www.skulduggerypleasant.co.uk/...
August 30, 2023
another great thrilling short story, even better than the last!
October 2, 2026
The title drew me in immediately. And then from the very start I was cracking up and didn’t stop until the end. (It’s only like a 20 page short story). Depressed talking corpses, cursed goblins, and Skulduggery finds love. What more can you ask for? (No babies were harmed in this story)
SPOILERS and book notes:
What a title!! “Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon” Valkyrie is at a cemetery and met a zombie who is taking her where this is happening: “Three babies snatched from their cots, being held by a family of goblins who want to exchange them for gold. Fairly straightforward." "They were not always goblins," the dead man said, irritation in his voice. "The Muldoons were sorcerers,
descended from a long line of the most powerful mages the world had ever seen.” "The father died, and the mother went
insane, but the children maintained the belief that, because of their heritage, they should be the rulers of the world. They believed in the inherent superiority of those who wield magic, and they despised the mortals, whom they saw as pedestrian and drab."
"Why are they called mortals?" asked Valkyrie.
"What?"
"I've been wondering that. Non-magical people, I mean, why are they called mortals? Sorcerers are mortal too."
"Sorcerers don't claim any different."
"But by calling non-magical people mortal, it's like they're implying that they themselves are immortal. And they're not - magic just makes them live longer." Bc they attacked mortals, the council of elders turned them into goblins. They steal gold to turn them back to human but it’s still not enough even if they have mounds of it. So they decided to start stealing babies. So Valkyrie is supposed to exchange gold for the babies. The zombie corps is the middle man. She asks the zombie if he is leading her into a trap: “"Why would I do that? I'm dead. What do I have to gain? I can't leave this graveyard. There is nothing that brings me joy anymore, there is no pleasure to be had, there is nothing I can use so there is nothing that I want.
I am empty. My existence is a shallow thing of coldness and"
"OK," Valkyrie interrupted, "I get it, you're miserable, fine. I'll go in now."
The dead man shrugged.” Goblins want to know where skullduggery is: “"You're his assistant, then?"
"Partner."
"You're a child."
"You're a goblin."
"Only on the outside."
"And on the inside you steal babies. Looks and personality." The goblins double crossed her after she gave them the money bc skullduggery is the reason they are goblins. Hahaha what an entrance of skull man: “"So smile, goblin. Skulduggery Pleasant has been here all along, and tonight's the night when he gets to kick your green and wrinkly little"
There was a crash on the roof above them and the
rotten wood splintered and gave, and Skulduggery fell through and hit the ground with his face.
"Oh my Gosh," he muttered as he lay there. "Oh my Gosh that hurt." Peg (the goblins sister) is who through skullduggery through the church roof lol. “"I have her on the ropes now."
"She threw you over a church," Valkyrie pointed out.
For a moment he was silent. And then he said, "Not
all the way over."
"Skuluggy," Peg moaned. "Oo uv me."
Valkyrie frowned. "Did she just say what I think she
said?"
Skulduggery shook his head quickly. "No."
Peg took another few steps inside. Her brothers
cackled and let her pass.
"Skuluggy," Peg moaned again. "I uv oo."
Skulduggery glanced at Valkyrie. "OK. She may have a thing for me." After skull fights Peg and Valkyrie fights the other goblins, skull lets peg down easy and says Mr Right is out there for her somewhere. “"Stay away from your brothers, OK? They're not a
very good influence on you."
She nodded, and marched for the church door. Before she stepped out, she stopped, and looked back tearfully. "I awah ink awoo, Skuluggy."
"And I'll always think of you, too," Skulduggery replied. And then Peg was gone. Valkyrie teased him so bad lol. Babies safe!!
SPOILERS and book notes:
What a title!! “Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon” Valkyrie is at a cemetery and met a zombie who is taking her where this is happening: “Three babies snatched from their cots, being held by a family of goblins who want to exchange them for gold. Fairly straightforward." "They were not always goblins," the dead man said, irritation in his voice. "The Muldoons were sorcerers,
descended from a long line of the most powerful mages the world had ever seen.” "The father died, and the mother went
insane, but the children maintained the belief that, because of their heritage, they should be the rulers of the world. They believed in the inherent superiority of those who wield magic, and they despised the mortals, whom they saw as pedestrian and drab."
"Why are they called mortals?" asked Valkyrie.
"What?"
"I've been wondering that. Non-magical people, I mean, why are they called mortals? Sorcerers are mortal too."
"Sorcerers don't claim any different."
"But by calling non-magical people mortal, it's like they're implying that they themselves are immortal. And they're not - magic just makes them live longer." Bc they attacked mortals, the council of elders turned them into goblins. They steal gold to turn them back to human but it’s still not enough even if they have mounds of it. So they decided to start stealing babies. So Valkyrie is supposed to exchange gold for the babies. The zombie corps is the middle man. She asks the zombie if he is leading her into a trap: “"Why would I do that? I'm dead. What do I have to gain? I can't leave this graveyard. There is nothing that brings me joy anymore, there is no pleasure to be had, there is nothing I can use so there is nothing that I want.
I am empty. My existence is a shallow thing of coldness and"
"OK," Valkyrie interrupted, "I get it, you're miserable, fine. I'll go in now."
The dead man shrugged.” Goblins want to know where skullduggery is: “"You're his assistant, then?"
"Partner."
"You're a child."
"You're a goblin."
"Only on the outside."
"And on the inside you steal babies. Looks and personality." The goblins double crossed her after she gave them the money bc skullduggery is the reason they are goblins. Hahaha what an entrance of skull man: “"So smile, goblin. Skulduggery Pleasant has been here all along, and tonight's the night when he gets to kick your green and wrinkly little"
There was a crash on the roof above them and the
rotten wood splintered and gave, and Skulduggery fell through and hit the ground with his face.
"Oh my Gosh," he muttered as he lay there. "Oh my Gosh that hurt." Peg (the goblins sister) is who through skullduggery through the church roof lol. “"I have her on the ropes now."
"She threw you over a church," Valkyrie pointed out.
For a moment he was silent. And then he said, "Not
all the way over."
"Skuluggy," Peg moaned. "Oo uv me."
Valkyrie frowned. "Did she just say what I think she
said?"
Skulduggery shook his head quickly. "No."
Peg took another few steps inside. Her brothers
cackled and let her pass.
"Skuluggy," Peg moaned again. "I uv oo."
Skulduggery glanced at Valkyrie. "OK. She may have a thing for me." After skull fights Peg and Valkyrie fights the other goblins, skull lets peg down easy and says Mr Right is out there for her somewhere. “"Stay away from your brothers, OK? They're not a
very good influence on you."
She nodded, and marched for the church door. Before she stepped out, she stopped, and looked back tearfully. "I awah ink awoo, Skuluggy."
"And I'll always think of you, too," Skulduggery replied. And then Peg was gone. Valkyrie teased him so bad lol. Babies safe!!
July 22, 2024
Book 84 of 2024: Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon - Derek Landy
Valkyrie Cain must make a deal with goblins to retrieve three babies, but is it a trap and will they double cross her?
Review:
⭐️ 4/5
A quick, easy, fun addition to the series. I enjoy these short stories interspersed between the books, they aren’t integral to the plot but serve as a nice palate cleanser.
Challenges:
📚Books in 2024: 84/60
Book Information:
📖 Pages: 26
📖 Format: e-Book
📖 Type: Fiction
📖 Genre: Fantasy, Short Stories, Young Adult
📖 Series: Skulduggery Pleasant
Valkyrie Cain must make a deal with goblins to retrieve three babies, but is it a trap and will they double cross her?
Review:
⭐️ 4/5
A quick, easy, fun addition to the series. I enjoy these short stories interspersed between the books, they aren’t integral to the plot but serve as a nice palate cleanser.
Challenges:
📚Books in 2024: 84/60
Book Information:
📖 Pages: 26
📖 Format: e-Book
📖 Type: Fiction
📖 Genre: Fantasy, Short Stories, Young Adult
📖 Series: Skulduggery Pleasant
October 10, 2025
Not a bad Skulduggery pleasant short story. It was at the back of my “Playing with fire“ copy and I thought I might as well read it. It introduced a new species that hadn’t appeared in book one or book two I don’t think so that was good.
All his did really was make me have questions that they didn’t really answer.
All his did really was make me have questions that they didn’t really answer.
March 5, 2019
...Not what I was expecting by any means, but not bad. I loved Skulduggery's "entrance" in this one - a failed hero entrance is always brilliant to see/read regardless of the situation ;D And Peg, despite her rather brief appearance, seemed to be a nice character, if a little slow *shrug*
November 4, 2020
Midnight. Valkyrie Cain approaches an old, ramshackle church to make a delicate deal with a trio of ugly, hairy goblins. To her absolute non-surprise, the goblins have no intention of honouring that deal- but not to worry. Skulduggery Pleasant is standing by to deliver a surprise of their own.
A funny and charming little short action packed story! And great if you love the Skull-Man 😀 💀
A funny and charming little short action packed story! And great if you love the Skull-Man 😀 💀
April 25, 2018
This was a fun short read and more like the first book than the second....I'm hoping the third is like this....and has teasing about Peg in it! That would be great!!
September 28, 2018
It was a short story but good too
May 5, 2019
I laughed especially after Peg showed up 😂😂😂
January 31, 2020
A quick and easy read with some light hearted banter at the end
April 16, 2020
Loved it
June 9, 2021
Interesting as all these snippet stories seem to be. Loved the bit about Peg. The rest was a bit predictable though.
July 17, 2021
Corto, entretenido y divertido
August 10, 2021
Classic Landy :)
March 24, 2022
Sort story, not much in it really. OK, but nothing great.
February 10, 2023
I uv oo, Skulduggery ❤️😔😂
May 2, 2023
3.5 stars
Cute. A bit heavy on the fight choreography for me, but with an amusingly wholesome conclusion.
Cute. A bit heavy on the fight choreography for me, but with an amusingly wholesome conclusion.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews