Mostly finished this book but did not want to force myself to finish reading it. The only thing that would redeem this book for me is if Much-Afraid discovered in the end that the person she thought was the "Good Shepherd" was really the enemy called Legalism the whole time.
Seriously, I wanted to throw this book against my wall a few times.
Let me break this down:
1. He puts a thorn in her heart that will eventually bloom into a flower, and ONLY THEN will she be loved in return. If he had said, "Only then will you be able to /receive/ love" that might have made a little more sense? Because we often put up blocks that keep us from receiving love, it's not that we're not loved already. And it is left vague as to whether she will be loved by the Good Shepherd or by someone else, though I didn't finish the book to find out, but from the beginning it's a little odd that it's not clarified and she just goes with it. It's also odd that it's implied that there is no love inside of her to start with. Obviously if she's been following the Good Shepherd, wouldn't there be love inside of her at this point already?
2. He doesn't even go with her the whole way. He's not with her. He tells her he will be there whenever she calls for him, but that he won't go with her some of the way. This doesn't sound like Jesus. "Never will I forsake you. I will be with you to the end of the age." Of course it doesn't always feel like he's there, but he always is.
3. He completely invalidates her emotions, laughs whenever she brings up a concern. He doesn't weep with her. It feels like the character Joy from the film Inside Out, pretending everything is great when it's not, unwilling to be with others in their suffering. He runs off, doesn't spend a lot of time with her. That is Not Jesus!!! Jesus wept over Lazarus! Even though he was about to raise him from the dead, he was not smug about it. He did not block himself off from feeling grief and compassion. He did not run away from suffering.
4. There is an implication of victim-blaming when early on in the book, people take Much Afraid hostage in her own house and she was supposed to call for help but she was paralyzed with fear and as a result, misses the Good Shepherd as he is passing by--he is apparently unaware of what is happening to her instead of knowing and coming to her aid. And later there is this implication of blame, that she should have called out, instead of there being understanding that she was physically unable to because of terror. This made me so angry. I understand what it's trying to say, that we should pray whenever we're afraid, but this was just done very badly.
5. This is what really started to get me--that "The Good Shepherd" assigns "Sorrow" and "Suffering" as Much Afraid's guides to the High Places. Sorrow and suffering are not guides. Wisdom is a guide. Faith is a guide. Hope is a guide. Love is a guide. Sorrow and Suffering are the paths Jesus took for our sakes to relieve us of our own sorrow and suffering because He LOVED us. Jesus never imposed sorrow or suffering on anyone who came to him in the gospels. He always called people to him who were calling to him and healed them, asked them if they wanted to be healed, he got on their level and was gentle with them. There's enough sorrow and suffering in the world because of sin--Jesus came to relieve us of that sorrow and suffering, not to put it on us! "Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest. My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Sometimes we go through times of sorrow and suffering, and Jesus is always with us through them, and there is joy on the other side, but suffering in itself is not of God, it is hard because of the fallen world and the devil who comes to steal, kill, and destroy, while Jesus came to give us life, life more abundantly. The spiritual and physical realms are connected. And Much Afraid is already suffering because of her crippled leg! It just doesn't make sense that her "guides" would be sorrow and suffering.
6. The Shaming. The whole journey to the High Places reminds me of the Hero's Journey myth structure a little bit, but with a crucial difference: The Hero's Journey is usually about a hero who is confident (or reluctant) who goes on a valiant quest to rescue someone or win something, to do something good because he wants to do it. This journey to the High Places feels like expectations placed on someone with a disability that invalidates the disability and just expects them to "try harder" and "keep going" and "earn your way to be worthy of love. Once your disability is gone, you'll be loved." Much Afraid has an injured leg at the start of the book, and instead of being loved and cared for where she is, she is expected to go on a painful journey to earn love? This is toxic. Sure, she's getting out of an abusive situation from her home, but this "Good Shepherd" is pretty abusive too. She is made to feel ashamed of her own feelings. She's not even given the excuse of all she's been through. The expectations are incredibly cruel.
This is not Christianity. This is bad religion.
There's some good stuff in it but it also feels so, so messed up and abusive God theology and it messed with me. Typing all of this out felt healing for me. I'm glad I finally put it all into words.
I don't recommend this book. Pilgrim's Progress is better. Go read that one.