i love this book with my entire being.
writing this review literally as speed and love JUST finished airing, and i can’t stop thinking about it. i started reading the book around time point in the drama where jin zhao got into the accident and ghosted jiang mu.. because at that point i was starting to genuinely doubt whether they’d have a happy ending or not. i was terrified they would not end up together.
the book is honestly so much sadder than the drama adaptation. i cried so hard reading what jin zhao went through after the accident. they changed his amputated leg in the book to him being severely injured instead. like, the emotional weight of it hit me in the chest and refused to let go. if i were jiang mu in that situation, honestly? i might’ve just called it quits and walked away. i can’t even blame her for doubting him, because he genuinely suffered in silence and pushed her away without explaining a single thing. that’s some heavy stuff.
and then.. when he finally tells her what he went through? damn bro.
“My legs aren’t good. Don’t run – I’m afraid I can’t catch up.”
BYE. JIN ZHAO, THE MAN YOU ARE.
honestly, i feel like the timeskip in the story was so necessary. they both needed to grow, to heal, and to really understand themselves before fully devoting their lives to each other. reading their reunion after the timeskip made me feel like everything finally clicked, all the pain, the misunderstandings, the years of quiet longing and unspoken emotions suddenly had context. it was cathartic and devastating at the same time.
i am just so, so, so happy that jin zhao and jiang mu got the ending they deserved. because let me tell you, it genuinely broke my heart that he went through so much alone - as a kid, and even as an adult. the weight of his silence, his hesitation, and his struggle to open up & ask for help? he was always like "i can handle it" NO YOU CANT BRO STOP.. it all felt painfully real. i wish he never hesitated to tell jiang mu how he was really doing, because there’s no doubt in my mind she would have been there for him. she would have carried part of that burden. AND SHE WOULDVE NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE A BURDEN.
i am obsessed. i am devastated. i am happy. i will never get over this.