A Mother's Kisses

by Bruce Jay Friedman

A Mother's Kisses is the story of Joseph, a tall, scattered looking boy of seventeen and his wonderfully indomitable mother, Meg, who is resolved, in the summer after her son's high-school graduation to start arranging his life for him, even going so far as to accompany him to college. A work of roaring comedy and emotional honesty, A Mother's Kisses is a classic of modern fiction.

Genres: Humor

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1965

About the author

American comic author whose dark, mocking humour and social criticism was directed at the concerns and behaviour of American Jews.

After graduating from the University of Missouri in 1951 with a B.A. in journalism and serving in the U.S. Air Force for two years, Friedman worked in publishing for several years before achieving success with his first novel, Stern (1962). The title character is a luckless descendent of the biblical Job, unable to assimilate into mainstream American life. Virtually all of Friedman's works are a variation on this theme; most of his characters are Jewish by birth, but they feel alienated from both Jewish and American culture. His works are also noted for focusing on absurd characters and situations.
-Encyclopædia Britannica

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I'm going to go upstairs and start getting into my girdle."
~ Meg, a mother

It's a little known fact that during the late 1950's, a good foundation garment was the secret to a woman's power. And Meg, mother of Friedman's hero, Joseph, is certainly a powerful woman. She is a forceful, some might say overbearing, wheeler-dealer with a used-car-salesman personality who GETS THINGS DONE and MAKES THINGS HAPPEN. Her technique involves flattery, stroking and occasional threats, but it works. She gets what she wants. Properly encased in a tightly clutching elasticized undergarment, she can accomplish anything.

Joseph, without meaning to, has fallen victim to her power and has trouble standing without her support. He's sort of floundering through life, waiting for things to begin. Being a teenage boy, he's also somewhat sex-obsessed. Even when he's ill and his mother's friend drops by with soup, carnal thoughts are never far from his mind.

The Irishwoman sat on his bed now, offering Joseph a clear view of a large, nervous section of her pants. He wondered whether he could trade the soup for a silent twelve-minute exploration of her body beneath the covers. There was no way of asking her this, of course; but what if he wrote her a brilliant letter, setting forth with exquisite logic all the reasons it was harmless and would mean so much more to him than a bowl of chicken gumbo?

What's a mother to do?

Seeing him down in the dumps because hasn't gotten into college yet, Meg ships him off to work as a waiter at summer camp. But, there'll be no Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah moments for Joseph, 'cause Mom's in a cabin just across the lake. And now it looks as though she might be accompanying him to school in the fall.

The horror! The horror!

The loving and frequently fraught relationship between a boy and his mother has been rich literary fodder since, well . . .since forever. Friedman mines it for laughs and does it well, managing to create two distinct and memorable characters who are poison for each other, yet can't seem to untie the apron strings that keep them both from living full and healthy lives.


"You go right ahead and don't worry about your mother. She'll be right here when you need her."

[Jackie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too over the top

The premise sounded so good. Joseph does not get into either of the two colleges to which he applied. In steps his mother Meg, who will move heaven and earth to get her boy into a college. Hilarity ensues as we see the relationship between a Jewish teen and his mom. I made it over a third of the way through this book and had to stop. Life is too short.

This was originally written in 1964 and applying to college is much different now. But that is not the problem. I kept making comparisons to Portnoy's Complaint and this novel does not come close. I found the book amusing but not funny. I felt like I was reading a farce. And that is the problem. Meg is so over the top. The rest of the characters are minor players in comparison. As I read, I was thinking that this would make a good movie or play. I would enjoy it more in that format. Obviously, other reviewers disagree and Mr. Friedman went on to have a long successful career with books and films. To quote that sage Randy Jackson, "for me, for you Dawg, it wasn't that good."

[Maia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Friedman's sophomore effert is not really half as good as his first --'Stern'--and at times just screams with a sort of hysterical energy that, 40 years after the 60s--rings, well, hysterical, but it's still a good strong read. The Big Jewish Mama is way over the top, better suited to late night comedy than to fiction, drawn sparingly and with few true insights. The weak Jewish boy hero makes you want to kick him most of the time but is still sympathetic in that his ego--unlike, for example, Philip Roth's--seems contained and believable. You sort of have the feeling that under all this there's an actual good guy, if nothing else.

[🐴 🍖]

on the back of this ancient trade pb copy there's a quote from the cleveland plain dealer that says it's so good it'll make you want to chew your hat, which, if i owned one i'd for sure be gnawing away. funny af, with strong t-pynch resonances (and, more surprisingly, gaddis ca. JR, in how it's an introvert's hell where joseph's never left alone & each interruption is more ridiculous than the last)... oddly given the title & what i read in reviews the mother was the element i got the least of a kick out of but heck, how many novels are worthy of hat chewing?

[Tressa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hate the old cliched saying "I laughed until I cried," but in my case with this book it happens to be the truth. Snickers that turn to guffaws and then belly laughs inevitably lead to fat tears trickling down the sides of my face.

Back in the day when I had more leisure time and was more adventurous in my reading and would pick up any old thing if it looked halfway entertaining, I grabbed this book and started reading. To this day I am so glad I did.

Meg is an overbearing mother, yes, but she's the kind of mom who believes in her offspring and his abilities more so than her offspring himself. Girls don't dig you? What's wrong with THEM! Can't get into college? Let me put on my girdle and go give the dean a piece of my mind! She's the kind of mom who would outwardly embarrass us, but inwardly the kind of mom we'd love to have on our side.

I truly love this book and wish it were more widely read.

[Brent Legault · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny, sometimes outrageously funny, study of motherly megalomania. And published five years before Portnoy's Complaint. I wonder if that angered or inspired or affected Philip Roth in any way. I can't understand why Friedman's popularity has not held up over these forty or fifty years. He was certainly popular in his day. (The hardcover copy of A Mother's Kisses that I read was in its sixth printing.) Perhaps he is just a bit too glib? Comedy has always had a hard time competing with Drama. Perhaps the laughs (seem to) come a little too easy for Friedman, I don't know. I, for one, appreciate them. I, for one, know that he worked hard for them, though he doesn't show it on the page, thank god. And though I might not care much for a mother's kisses, I care muchly, muchly for A Mother's Kisses.

[DilanAc · Rating 2 out of 5]

Funny. I have to give it that. Even after almost 60 years, this is funny. Perhaps slapstick is like that, but Friedman's ability to convey slapstick in writing versus film is astounding. Maybe because I grew up in NYC I recognize voices very much like this family's. I can actually hear them. I think that to those outside that time and place, this book would not be so funny.

The mother is definitely the star of this book. It is not the son's book as much as the mother's. For the first two thirds of the book it would be 2 stars. But then it really feel apart when Joseph actually got to college. It then becomes Joseph's story who is some sort of an odd adolescent cliche. The mother figure, Meg, became more pathetic than merely funny. It should have ended as Meg's story.

There was that one moment when Meg was sexually assaulted by one of the endless people she is trying to manipulate to get Joseph into a college when this book could have been something more. It is wrenching to see this woman whose whole identity is based on being funny cry. And her son doesn't know how to take it. This moment was merely glossed over. For that I must take away at least a part of a star. Letting Meg suffer like that without Joseph even acknowledging it breaks my heart.

I really didn't like it. Not my kind of book at all.

[A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book... so why "only" a 4 star review ... perhaps a bit too much with the one angle (mother, obviously and the clever protag). I came across this title reading about Confederacy of Dunces (as in another crazy, funny, regional 60s writer - with mother issues, presumably). Story of Brooklyn Jewish lad realizing he better apply to college (because he is just out of high school) in ... 1950s i guess. Gets turned down by his 2 choices, so things look bad, but he spends the summer as a camp assistant in upstate new york, thanks to his mothers prodding. She is ... a force of nature ... full of chat, girdles, abrasiveness, cajoling, flirting, taunting everyone in her way- from son, to husband to every kind of adult that crosses her path. A cliche perhaps, but such an entertaining cliche! like a sitcom, maybe? still- she ribaldly carries on, eventually landing her son at the Kansas Land Grant University where they study cows and corn all day. Of course she comes with him (to help him acclimate) for the first 2 or 3 months and significant hijinks occur. Kind of a riot, but amusing, if a little repetitive. Finally he gets her to go back to New York and that's the end....

[Mom · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am in the minority but I did not find that this book lived up to the hype in the review that I had read and the fact that it was written I’m. 1964 was not the reason. 17-year old Joseph didn’t get into the two college he applied to so his over-bearing mother takes over. Described by one reviewer as having a used car salesman personality (I assume in the most negative sense), her antics were only mildly funny. She not only dominates his life but the entire book. And Joseph is a total wimp who does not develop any sympathy from this reader. Basically I didn’t like any of the characters. Very disappointed.

[Tony DuShane · Rating 2 out of 5]

Abandoned the book by page 90. This author wrote some great screenplays, as for this novel it mainly reads like it’s desperate for a laugh. There are some funny moments and my favorite character is the camp supervisor who wants to be a writer. Probably would have been a better book focused on him.

The kid and the mom are just repetitive and this needed another rewrite before publishing. Gonna try his first book.

[Elise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes funny, but characters are annoying. At first it seemed like it was going to be an interesting coming of age tale, but it's just a story about a guy's complicated relationship with his overbearing outrageous mother.

....Which makes sense considering the title but the character's were a little too much i think.

[Rick · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book should have been a short story. Has funny parts, but after a while, the mother becomes annoying and her relationship with her son gets creepy. I read this after Stern. The back cover of this book sings the praises of Stern, but no/little critical mention of A Mother's Kisses. I should have taken the hint.

[Tom Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very funny book. Meg is bigger than life and one of the most unforgettable characters found in literature. Joseph spends the time in the summer before college trying to be independent from mother, What good does it do? She follows him to college. All in all a book to laugh at yet, tragic when one settles down. Poor Joseph is just as dependent on his mother as she is on him.

[Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining, sort of like watching a Neil Simon play (picturing Anne Bancroft as the mother and a young Matthew Broderick as the son).

[Gideonleek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Least overbearing mother in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn

[Skip Ferderber · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I had read "A Mother's Kisses" when it first appeared in 1965, I probably would have howled. This was some writer. in fact he was a writer's writer: something you read not just for the story but for the cleverness of his prose. Bruce Jay Friedman takes a scene--let's take the little sexpot that Joseph, the book's protagonist, encounters early in the novel--and writes it upside down and sideways. Joseph's sexual fumbling becomes a comparison of handling and trading baseball cards. When the girl touches his penis, he compares it to being given the greatest baseball card of all time: a Babe Ruth. Great stylistic touches . . . for 1965. And that's my problem with "A Mother's Kisses." Some books stay with us for centuries despite their archaic language and out of time references because they continue to communicate universal feelings. But this Friedman novel stays back . . . there, half a century ago and we've simply moved on from not only that time but the assumptions we had in those times--and the book hasn't. In 1965, we could laugh at Jewish mothers like the one in this book. Now we wonder about her frustrated narrow driven world, how she could do all that to her kid, what she was missing in her own life. Now we most likely want to fix her...or get the fuck away from her as fast as humanly possible. With those caveats, the book can be a fun read, especially the sheer brilliance of Friedman's style, but you must allow the book to be what it was then, on its own, 50 years ago. Its social and cultural references are easy for me to understand, my being of a certain age, but if I was a much younger reader I think if have problems reading a book in which, for example, everyone went to summer camp and girdles were an accepted article of women's clothing. So by all means read this book but when you do, read it on its own terms: as a time capsule, not a fish tank.

Note: This book was made available free to me through the NetGalley program. The opinions expressed here are my own.

[Zebazga · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. The problem is probably with me: I don't think I like most comedic novels. I want the people who laughed until they cried to show me specific passages. The writing was descriptive, but I wasn't really interested in any of the characters and couldn't always track what was going on.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious and very much the humor of the 1960's. So New York as I remember it.

[Pamela · Rating 1 out of 5]

A bit too frenetic. A bit too obvious. A bit too too. Made it 20% of the way through then had to pack it in.

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

couldn't make myself finish...terrible...