One Couple Two Cultures

by Dan Waters (Contributor), Peter Suart (Artist)

Up to World War Two, Western-Chinese inter-marriage was not accepted in 'polite' society, neither by the British nor by the Chinese. Nevertheless Ho Kai (later Sir Kai Ho Kai) of Hong Kong did marry Alice Walkden, in London, in 1881. There are those who believe this was the first Anglo-Chinese marriage ever. It took place in racist, Victorian Society when views contrasted strikingly with those held by most people today. Examples of Western-Chinese marriages, post World War Two, the late Bruce Lee, the late Sir Piers Jacobs, Sir Jimmy McGregor, Jack Edwards and Elsie Tu. One could go on. While a certain amount has been written about Blacks married to Whites, and Whites to Pakistani, and so on, next to nothing has been written about Westerners married to Chinese. Researched and written by Dr Dan Waters, who can claim approaching half a century of actual experience in such a marriage, is the best person to research the subject of mixed marriages. There are those who believe a Western-Chinese marriage is no different, say, to a blond marrying a red-head, although there are others who are more cautious and say that two sometimes antagonistic cultures inevitably add heat to the mix and an added dimension to marriage. There are also opposing views and beliefs having been raised on different codes of conduct and varying lifestyles. After marriage what sort of lifestyles do such couples lead? There can be compatibility and communication problems, not just with each other, but also with in-laws and partners' friends. What cuisines do they prefer? How do they raise their Eurasian children?

Genres: Love, China

276 pages, Paperback

First published March 18, 2005

Reviews

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interested in this subject and found the writers tone just right. It was very readable as a history and analysis of the mix of East meets West via marriage patterns in Hong Kong. Hearing about the subject directly from the couples themselves was fascinating. As unique as the cultural influence was, it seemed there were many universal truths expressed.

[Greg Morley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid read and fascinating historical context. It was disappointing that the author did not expand th interviews to same sex couples, whcih would have provided evn more rich stories.

[Jon Martin · Rating 2 out of 5]

The subject focuses mainly on marriages between English men and their Cantonese wives, in which most of the westerners make no attempt, across decades, to learn or adopt the cultural values or even native languages of their spouses.

It is more a series of anecdotes from an Englishman and his friends who lived in Hong Kong and married during a certain period in time. It hardly spoke to me as an American in a marriage with a Chinese mainlander in the modern age. This book and its synopsis hasn’t aged very well. An extra star for approaching an untouched topic area.

[David Dayton · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't be less researched or less helpful even if it was blank.

[Pitchayada · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very easy to read and filled with colorful amusing insights on cross cultural marriages.

[Wayde Nash]

A very interesting read, especially for someone in a mixed relationship/marriage.