(Zero spoiler review)
I can barely bother my ass to find an original way to state just how absurdly overrated Jeff Lemire is. I can't recall how many attempts I've given this man to impress me, and yet he never fails to find new ways to let me down. Lemire, along with a few noted others, epitomise the talentless comic book 'big name', and I offer The Passageway: Bone Orchard as exhibit A, for the dreadful state of the comic book industry as a whole. This is it! This is the kind of shite a supposed luminary of the genre offers up. This was somehow considered good enough to publish! And not only that, but somehow he managed to rope Andrea Sorrentino into doing the artwork. The only, and I mean the only saving grace of this shameful waste of a once wonderful tree, is Sorrentino's art. Lemire's limp, weak, watered down script (that quite probably took him all of two hours to write), and that's if I'm being generous), is painful to gaze upon. This is a hazily recollected dream, quickly jotted down as a first draft, that somehow made it to print with zero additional effort or oversight. There isn't really even any writing here to speak of. It pisses me off that a writer can shit out a few paragraphs, space it over a few or more pages, then call it a script, and expect an artist to spend weeks or months labouring over it. It's pathetic and uncreative, and I can't stand it.
There is zero characterisation, zero story, zero tension (beyond whatever Sorrentino evokes despite Lemire's best efforts to ruin it). Zero everything really. And a big fat zero is what this dreck deserves, though again, it gets two for Sorrentino's efforts, even though I wish he would stick to sequential panels and let the abstract collage's and quirky designs go. If Gideon Falls wasn't a disappointing enough kick to the nuts with all that it promised yet failed to deliver, then read The Passageway. Or you could do something equally worthwhile, like insert long sharp objects into your ear canal and the finger paint with what pours forth. Your writing is bad, Jeff. How you could look yourself in the mirror and call this a solid effort is beyond me. Avoid like the plague. 2/5
OmniBen.