Death is a Relative Thing

Ghosts, Guilt and Tweezers Chronicles #1

by Holly Patrone

April Serao's love life is much like a desert, dry, dusty and a little cracked. Six years ago, her husband Sal died while having sex. That was bad, but he was with her, so it could have been worse, however he hadn't finished renovating the kitchen, so it really could have been better. Now April's raising their three sons alone. Word got around about how Sal met his unfortunate demise which has earned April a "killer good" reputation. Because of it, most men put a considerable amount of distance between her and them. Her mother Marie takes April to see a local celebrity psychic, convinced Sal will talk to them. April knows Sal hasn't held up his end of a conversation in a long time but goes anyway because her mother is wiry tough, sports Cherry Cola #17 red hair and is a force to be reckoned with. She's also a "Sicilian Guilt Trip" ninja, and April knows she won't win the battle. April works as a Technical Support Engineer at a company called Tin Cup Software. Her co workers and occasional partners in crime are Rob and Marley. Rob has a hologram perfect family and Marley passes the time by tweezing chin hairs while talking to customers. She lives with a large multicolored parrot named Rodney that she believes is going through teenage angst. An out of state business associate asks April on her first date since Sal's death and she soon finds herself struggling to balance her past, her children and friends and the possibility of new love. Her life, further complicated by a dead musician, a little latex and a few bad guys becomes a rollicking laugh out loud read that you won't want to miss.

Genres: Romance, Humor, Chick Lit, Fiction, Comedy, Cozy Mystery, Fantasy

194 pages, Nook

First published May 23, 2011

About the author

Holly Patrone was born and raised on Long Island. She comes from a loud but happy family whose skill set includes (but is not limited to) simultaneously arm waving for emphasis with one hand while not losing antipasto off a piece of Italian bread in the other.

Holly earned her first writing prize, a feather quill pen, in the fourth grade for a short story titled "The Mannequin Mansion." Over the years she has won a number of awards in the United States and internationally. "Death Is A Relative Thing" is her debut novel. Lighthearted and easy to relate to, it's sure to become a favorite escape.

Reviews

[Melisa Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holly Patrone has written a witty, sarcastic, and enormously entertaining story in that of April Serao. It is literally a laugh out loud easy read that has me seriously anticipating the sequel (i hope, i hope).

[Christine Pothews springer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Definitely one of my favorites!! It was truly a Laugh out loud kinda book!

[Neil Plakcy]

I really liked the way this book started out, but by about 50% of the way through, the ex-husband's presence just got annoying and I skimmed to the end.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, but rated R for strong sexual situations.

This book is sort of a cross between Stephanie Plum and Sixth Sense. Angie sees her dead husband, who comes to her asking for help earning his halo. This gets her involved with some bad guys. She acquires a boyfriend, and this is where the R rating comes in. They have the hots for each other, and it gets pretty descriptive, even though they keep getting interrupted, mostly by the ghost of her former husband, who has some pretty graphic things to say about it. The whole situation is pretty comical, and I enjoyed the story and the sarcastic humor. I'm knocking off a star for the gratuitous almost-sex and a few occurrences of language.

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5 Stars)

This quirky little read is delightful. It has numerous errors and one or two contradictions, but keep in mind that it was a free download from Amazon which I loaded on my Kindle MANY years ago, so it might've been edited in the meantime. It hooked me from the start and I finished it in one afternoon.

[Val · Rating 4 out of 5]

When April & her Mother go to a psychic show, April’s husband Sal comes through the spirit world to tell her about a leak in a pipe. She’s not inclined to believe him until a message comes through that can only be from Sal. She’s still dismissive - until the voices start…..Lighthearted, comical,made me chuckle from start to finish.

[Jill · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was one of the free books I got when I first found out Amazon did some free kindle books. It was entertaining but nothing special and not a laugh out loud book by any stretch.

[Allison Ann · Rating 1 out of 5]

There is funny.
There is quirky.
There is over-the-top.
There is ridiculous.
There is stupid.
And then there is this book.

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

FREE KINDLE DOWNLOAD FROM AMAZON.COM

*** SOME BOOK SPOILERS ***

April Serao's love life is much like a desert, dry, dusty and a little cracked. Six years ago, her husband Sal died while having sex. That was bad, but he was with her, so it could have been worse, however he hadn't finished renovating the kitchen, so it really could have been better. Now April's raising their three sons alone. Word got around about how Sal met his unfortunate demise which has earned April a "killer good" reputation. Because of it, most men put a considerable amount of distance between her and them. Her mother Marie takes April to see a local celebrity psychic, convinced Sal will talk to them. April knows Sal hasn't held up his end of a conversation in a long time but goes anyway because her mother is wiry tough, sports Cherry Cola #17 red hair and is a force to be reckoned with. She's also a "Sicilian Guilt Trip" ninja, and April knows she won't win the battle. April works as a Technical Support Engineer at a company called Tin Cup Software. Her co workers and occasional partners in crime are Rob and Marley. Rob has a hologram perfect family and Marley passes the time by tweezing chin hairs while talking to customers. She lives with a large multicolored parrot named Rodney that she believes is going through teenage angst. An out of state business associate asks April on her first date since Sal's death and she soon finds herself struggling to balance her past, her children and friends and the possibility of new love. Her life, further complicated by a dead musician, a little latex and a few bad guys becomes a rollicking laugh out loud read that you won't want to miss.

When I see free books on Amazon, it makes me wonder why they're free. Are they that bad that people won't buy them? Is it a ploy to get the author more exposure? Whatever the reason, I'm beyond thrilled I was able to pick this one up. I would give it 10 stars if I could.

If you like witty, cheeky, and snarky, this book is for you. Between reading my Kindle and my Kindle reading to me, I finished it in one day. I'm sure people who saw me driving thought I was mental, because I was laughing my you-know-what off while listening in my car going to and from work. I actually hated to have to put it down to go into the office.

April has become the pariah of her town since her husband died while having sex with her. You have to empathize with her, because the poor girl hasn't had a date in the six years since. And just when she finds someone who doesn't turn and run at the sight of her, her dead husband shows up to mess with her life.

Between a houseful of kids, a potential hot boyfriend, a domineering mother, crazy friends, people trying to kill her, and a dead husband who won't leave her alone, April has more than a full plate. And how she deals with all of it literally had me in stitches.

The book is no longer free, but it's worth every penny you'll pay for it.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, fast read!

The main character is April Serao, known about town as being the woman whose husband died during sex with her. Because of this, men see her and immediately run in the opposite direction. April's been a single mom of 3 (now teen) boys for the last several years when she finally gets an offer for a date from a business collegue. Before she can get her head together for her first date in years - the dead husband Sal comes calling for her help. He needs some earthly intervention to correct some 'wrongs' he committed that are keeping him from getting his halo in Heaven. April relectantly agrees.

As April begins a new relationship with Jack, she is bombarded with visits and requests from Sal the dead husband. Jack thinks she's a little nuts, but he likes her style and the fact that he can never predict what crazy things are going to happen when he's with her! Loads of crazy shenanigans occur everywhere April goes. She's in danger for her life and Jack sticks around to protect her.

Certainly more than once I thought of similarities between Holly Patrone and Janet Evanovich's writing. I love the Stephanie Plum series, and though this has a much different plot & very different circumstances, the crazy-no-holds-barred wit is quite the same. The small city 'everyone knows your business' lifestyle; the intrusive mother who is a force to be reckoned with; the bad guys out to get ya humorous attacks.....

I really feel it's well worth a try, particularly if you can't get enough of Janet. It's probably well worth 5 stars, I just somehow couldn't completely get my head around the dead husband thing. He really got on my bad side - interfering with April's only and new budding relationship with another man. He's also not very likeable. You'll for sure be rooting for the boyfriend in this one. I suppose I could get used to it if there were more episodes of April and the gang. I really loved the addition of the dog and the psychic...really some funny moments there!

[Sandra "Jeanz" · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well I have to say I was only a little way through this book and it already had me laughing out loud! It is full of quips and wit that make it all the more enjoyable. Poor April is treat like the plague by the male population just because her husband died whilst they were ...er ...shall we say doing the dirty deed! lol The male population seem to think she can kill them with a look or a touch of the hand, its so funny. April also has her Italian mum to contend with who can guilt trip her down a telephone line and does so every night at 7pm sharp. It's one of these phone calls that ends up changing April's life. You see April's mum is chatterring on (as only mum's do) and April is only half listening 9as only us daughter's do) and april ends up volunteering to accompany her mum to a physic show, which April thinks is all a load of rubbish! But seeing she was only half listening and had agreed to go without realising she can't back out now. April prepares to be sat bored by other peoples messages when she ends up the centre of attention, even though she at first denies a message would be for her. Something changes after that evening's show. I am not saying what but please buy this hilarious in places book! Anyway back to April's life, so then along comes Jack from out of state who doesn't initially know about these "touch of death" rumours and even when he finds out he laughs it off and wants a relationship with April. Which should be pretty straightforward .... but and I think I can say a little without spoiling the book for you....April has a certain voice speaking to her, who isn't quite ready to let her go on to another relationship. This voice also lands her right in the middle of a gang battle too. So how does April cope? Read the book and find out it's brilliant!
I must add due to some of the jokes and innuendo this book is meant for adults and not the teenage market. For all lovers of chick-lit this book is a must read hilarious book!!

[Allizabeth Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Description:
What happens when your husband unexpectedly dies while having sex with you? Well, you get a reputation that leaves a lull in your dating life, that's for sure - and April Serao would know. Six years ago her husband, Sal, died in bed with her, and now she can't even get a date, (unless it's with an inanimate object). So now she's a widowed single mom raising three teenage boys and attempting to hold a full-time job as a Technical Support Engineer at a software company. If that isn't stressful enough, her mother, Marie, won't leave her alone long enough to get anything done, which is the reason she's in her present predicament. Marie drags April to a celebrity psychic so she can talk to Sal, unfortunately his disembodied self decides to stay afterwards to recruit April's help; attempting to thwart her attempts at getting to know a new business associate on a more "personal" level. Can April find a way to deal with work, kids, love, ex-living ex's, and angry neighbors?

Review:
When I was first contacted to review this book, I had my doubts due to its small size and vague cover description, but after reading it, I was very surprised by how enjoyable it was! This chick-lit was funny, witty, and ironic, each chapter more over-the-top and full of laughs than the last. I thought that April was a great character that most women could identify with, and the dialogue, especially between Sal and April was fun and laden with sarcasm. The book was quick, but satisfied my craving for fun and romance, it even had a little paranormal flair. The plot was refreshingly well-written and kept me entertained till the last page - unlike a lot of the chick-lit fiction I have been reading recently, and the cover was adorable! Kudos to the author, I can't wait to read her next book -- hopefully a sequel?

Rating: On the Run (4.5/5)

*** I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over the top chick lit. That's probably the best way I could describe this book. It's funny, it's stupid and I couldn't decide if I should roll my eyes or burst out laughing. This isn't War & Peace, to be sure, but ya know... sometimes you really just need a book that will make you laugh a little - or a lot. I must admit that if I were taking the story at face value, I would have to say that it's completely ridiculous. But it was supposed to be overly insane. That was the point.

I finished this one pretty quickly as I was anxious to find out what April would get herself into next.

But this book was a little more than this. Yes, it was pretty thin, but there's a little bit of heart mixed in with all of that laughter and goofiness. Yes, it's a fun book, but the author does try to give us a little bit of a message about moving on and the importance of going on with your life when things, well... suck.

Overall, I'd recommend this for a light beach read - or a winter night when you just need to curl up with a book, a glass of wine and a good laugh. A good piece of humorous chick lit.

[Li · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just when April thinks she's getting her love life back on track after her husband Sal's unexpected death six years ago, Sal makes contact with her. It seems he's run into a little trouble in Heaven and requires her help obtaining his halo. Of course, his presence and the antics of her three teenage sons, her meddling mother, April’s "reputation," and a hit man don't help things much. I normally don't enjoy paranormal mysteries, but this one was cute and humorous. I thought the premise behind Sal's return was clever. Although her co-worker's tweezing addiction was initially funny - albeit somewhat gross - mention of it soon became somewhat tiresome. However, the characters were likable, and the story kept a good pace. I'll probably try the next one in the series, provided all paranormal stuff stays friendly and light-hearted. If Goodreads had a half-star rating system, I'd give this one 3.5 stars.

[Akl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book kept me laughing from the beginning till the end. I downloaded this book for free and I had never heard of the author before, but I am a fan of her writing.

I can really feel the emotions the main character is going through. I even shed a bit of tears at the end. I loved every moment of it, the wackiness included. I love April and Sal. The jury is still out on the new boyfriend though. He just seems waaaay too perfect. I hope the author makes this a series, I would buy the next book for sure.

I wouldn't consider this book a mystery book though, more like a chic lit with a minor touch of mystery, but I truly enjoyed it. It is an easy and fast read. It is a perfect cuddle by fireplace, drinking hot cocoa kind of book.

Thank you Amazon for letting me download this for free :)

[Vichy · Rating 4 out of 5]

It could be a comedy script. The interesting thing was the approach of such a delicate matter as the death of one's dear husband. Sometimes, I felt a bit sad for the situation was such, as to feel like it, but the emotion didn't have the chance to be considered seriously because the hilarius lines took you to another level. I really enjoyed the funny aspect of life in every matter of importance or not.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story. Ended up reading it in one sitting! I like happy endings. I Feel the book was well written and just fun to read. I highly recommend it.

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was cute. Six years after the death of April's husband Sal, he starts visiting her and talking to her at the most inopportune times. Such as when she's on a date. Sal has no qualms telling April about the size of her date's anatomy. Or the lack thereof.

I had to give this one a 4 star because 3 isn't good enough for this delightful story.

[Jean Cogdell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Death is a Relative Thing by Holly Patrone was a refreshing and enjoyable read for a cold rainy day. Her humor and wit is quick and made me smile often reading about the antics of April Serao as she had to contend with the return of her dead husband Sal. I gladly give Ms. Patrone’s book four stars. Her dialog is snappy and I found myself hearing voices in my head too. Fun read.

[Carole Sinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fun summer read that you can't put down. April's antics will have you turning pages faster than ice cream melts. Jack is equally as yummy. No wonder Sal is still kicking around. This book just begs for a sequal.

[Wulfwyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was disappointed. Disappointed this book ended and there was no sequel for me! I had such a good time reading this. Who knew a dead husband could be this much fun? I cannot wait to read more from Holly Patrone. Hopefully a sequel will be out soon.

*A full review can be found on my blog.

[Jessica Ashe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a fun, entertaining read. I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. You will find yourself laughing the entire way through. I downloaded this book for free from Amazon. Def. one of my favorite freebies!

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was great and kept me laughing.... great story ...great characters

[Alison]

kindle 194

[Alison · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reads like an episode of Cougar Town. Not my cup of tea.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

quick read with some witty comments that have silently run through my head at times-but just could say out loud. Silly and amusing.

[Keeley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy read with funny wit.

[Terri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super cute humorous read with a bit of warmth. Really enjoyed free Kindle download.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

silly & funny cozy mystery

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew this was going to be a good book after the first line - "Some days I felt like a breast stuck in a mammography machine." Funny, light reading!