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The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage
Should I stay married for my kids? Does this count as abuse? Why am I so unhappy? What does a healthy relationship even look like ?
When you’re ready for honest answers to these and other questions,
The D Word shows you how to dig deep and find them—and then move forward into a better, brighter future.
From the host of the critically acclaimed The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast comes a book that provides the clarity, peace, and answers women need to make empowered decisions about their marriages, break unhealthy patterns, and build the life they truly want.
Every year, close to a million women struggle to decide whether to divorce their partners. Some are in relationships they know to be unsalvageable, yet they’re terrified that divorce will hurt their kids. Others feel guilt-ridden and confused over their unhappiness with a spouse who seems, to the outside world at least, to be perfectly fine . And then there are those in between, restless and aware of problems that may or may not be fixable, with no idea how to tell the difference.
The D Word is the definitive yet accessible guide for everyone who wants to take control of their lives, either by ending or repairing their marriage. Written in Kate Anthony’s signature straight-talking, empowering style, The D Word is more than a practical handbook for those considering divorce. It also reveals how cultural and societal influences negatively affect our relationships and expectations, stacking the odds against women. And it provides a template for confident decision-making and lasting growth and change—whether readers choose to stay in a marriage or leave it.
When you’re ready for honest answers to these and other questions,
The D Word shows you how to dig deep and find them—and then move forward into a better, brighter future.
From the host of the critically acclaimed The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast comes a book that provides the clarity, peace, and answers women need to make empowered decisions about their marriages, break unhealthy patterns, and build the life they truly want.
Every year, close to a million women struggle to decide whether to divorce their partners. Some are in relationships they know to be unsalvageable, yet they’re terrified that divorce will hurt their kids. Others feel guilt-ridden and confused over their unhappiness with a spouse who seems, to the outside world at least, to be perfectly fine . And then there are those in between, restless and aware of problems that may or may not be fixable, with no idea how to tell the difference.
The D Word is the definitive yet accessible guide for everyone who wants to take control of their lives, either by ending or repairing their marriage. Written in Kate Anthony’s signature straight-talking, empowering style, The D Word is more than a practical handbook for those considering divorce. It also reveals how cultural and societal influences negatively affect our relationships and expectations, stacking the odds against women. And it provides a template for confident decision-making and lasting growth and change—whether readers choose to stay in a marriage or leave it.
304 pages, Paperback
Published December 26, 2023
6 people are currently reading
1269 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
January 31, 2024
Kate Anthony what a great book. This book really helped me after getting a divorce after 23 years. I really enjoyed reading it. It is a divorce coach in a book. The empathy and gentle kindness you feel the moment you begin to read these pages is in and of itself comforting. Kate Anthony has taken an immensely frightening and overwhelming circumstance and broken it down into bite size, understandable and doable small steps, while sharing a depth of love and compassion for where you are. Highly recommend.
March 22, 2024
This book was a timely read for me, as I work my way towards divorce. It was PERFECT. It touched so many subjects around divorce. It was empowering. It answered questions I had. It was positive and uplifting, despite divorce usually being such a hard topic. I absolutely 100% recommend this book to any women considering divorce, or going through one.
Thanks NetGalley, for the ARC!
Thanks NetGalley, for the ARC!
May 12, 2025
A book I wish I had at my fingertips quite a few years ago. it's a divorce coach in a book and answers every question you have when your brain is spinning at a mile a minute at 4am every night wondering what you should do.
March 15, 2024
"The D Word" by Kate Alexander is an excellent reference guide to divorce as well as therapy in a book. If one follows the suggested journal activities, it can help a woman decide if ending her marriage is the right choice or not. There is a quiz at the end of chapter 4 to help understand if you are in a healthy relationship or not. I found this particularly helpful.
It moves on to chapters about abuse of different types: physical, emotional, financial, and cyber. Divorce is a big emotional thing as well as a legal and financial thing, and they occur all at once. A key piece of advice is to never go to therapy with an abuser because abuse isn't a relationship issue.
There are chapters about how to tell your spouse the news, then how to tell your kids, and then a chapter about the many things you need to decide with your spouse regarding the kids. She repeatedly advises to put your children at the CENTER, but do not put them in the middle.
How Divorce Works is a section that teaches us types of divorce with the law: Kitchen Table, Mediation, Collaborative, Litigation. It also tells us that every state has different laws regarding divorce, which one needs to research individually.
I like Bill Eddie's BIFF method of communication: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. This can work for any relationship when communication starts to break down.
There is a big part about journaling to help move on after deciding to divorce, but it may also be useful in making the decision. For instance, make a gratitude list about the relationship, and make a forgiveness list of what you need to forgive your spouse for and what you need to ask them to forgive you for.
With this book, I learned that my marriage isn't in as much trouble as I had thought, but there is still a lot to work on if we both decide that is the path for us. If we both do all the self work and then communicate well, it could help us a lot.
I listened to the audiobook version Narrated by the author. I noticed she got stressed in some parts, with her voice getting high, faster, and sharp. Her voice was still clear and understandable.
Thank you to Netgalley, High Bridge Audio, and Kate Anthony for providing this audiobook for review purposes.
It moves on to chapters about abuse of different types: physical, emotional, financial, and cyber. Divorce is a big emotional thing as well as a legal and financial thing, and they occur all at once. A key piece of advice is to never go to therapy with an abuser because abuse isn't a relationship issue.
There are chapters about how to tell your spouse the news, then how to tell your kids, and then a chapter about the many things you need to decide with your spouse regarding the kids. She repeatedly advises to put your children at the CENTER, but do not put them in the middle.
How Divorce Works is a section that teaches us types of divorce with the law: Kitchen Table, Mediation, Collaborative, Litigation. It also tells us that every state has different laws regarding divorce, which one needs to research individually.
I like Bill Eddie's BIFF method of communication: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. This can work for any relationship when communication starts to break down.
There is a big part about journaling to help move on after deciding to divorce, but it may also be useful in making the decision. For instance, make a gratitude list about the relationship, and make a forgiveness list of what you need to forgive your spouse for and what you need to ask them to forgive you for.
With this book, I learned that my marriage isn't in as much trouble as I had thought, but there is still a lot to work on if we both decide that is the path for us. If we both do all the self work and then communicate well, it could help us a lot.
I listened to the audiobook version Narrated by the author. I noticed she got stressed in some parts, with her voice getting high, faster, and sharp. Her voice was still clear and understandable.
Thank you to Netgalley, High Bridge Audio, and Kate Anthony for providing this audiobook for review purposes.
March 7, 2024
I wish I had this book years ago. I may have made different decisions, or maybe I wouldn’t have. Who knows. By the end of listening to this audiobook I felt even more at peace with my decision to leave my marriage and with how I have conducted myself in this process. Anthony made me feel seen and understood.
Anthony uses a mix of personal anecdotes, research and interviews to support women in determining if and how to leave a marriage. Anthony is clear that this book is written by and mostly for women like her, and like me, CIS women in heterosexual marriages who are upper to middle class. While she does offer some support beyond this the book is mostly for women who meet that definition. Anthony does reference clearly other resources and research including contact methods as of the publication of the book.
Anthony uses a mix of personal anecdotes, research and interviews to support women in determining if and how to leave a marriage. Anthony is clear that this book is written by and mostly for women like her, and like me, CIS women in heterosexual marriages who are upper to middle class. While she does offer some support beyond this the book is mostly for women who meet that definition. Anthony does reference clearly other resources and research including contact methods as of the publication of the book.
March 17, 2024
Kate Anthony brings a compassionate view to divorce, She guides you through the hard questions, all the time encouraging you to be true to yourself. Her voice is clear and strong, and you feel her support in every word.
I recommend this to any woman who may be questioning the future of her marriage. This isn't a book to lead you to divorce, but a guide to determine if that is indeed what is best for you.
I recommend this to any woman who may be questioning the future of her marriage. This isn't a book to lead you to divorce, but a guide to determine if that is indeed what is best for you.
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January 10, 2024This book is a good start if you are looking into the possibility of divorce. She goes over topics such as finances, abuse, dealing with children, and how to tell your spouse and others about the divorce.
January 25, 2024
No one should go lightly into the d word and I think this book is a great resource for anyone contemplating divorce. The author has been through it herself and has solid advice and guidance.
January 31, 2024
A great read, though some of it did not necessarily pertain to me. The exercises really help. Love her podcast too
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews