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Women, Spirituality and Transformative Leadership: Where Grace Meets Power
The world is in crisis and it seems that many are looking to women to heal the planet and our human family. Before women can step into our full potential as leaders and guides in this moment, we must individually reconnect with our deepest wisdom and with our spiritual roots; collectively heal the many dimensions of separation that keep us fragmented and ineffective as agents of social change; and globally reclaim our rightful place as spiritual leaders in service of a balanced and compassionate new paradigm. This empowering resource engages women in an interactive exploration of the challenges and opportunities on the frontier of women's spiritual leadership. Through the voices of North American women representing a matric of diversity ethnically, spiritually, religiously, generationally and geographically this book will inspire women to new expressions of their own personal leadership and invite them into powerful collaborative action. Topics include:
o What does it mean to be an
o What does it mean to be an
288 pages, Hardcover
First published October 27, 2011
9 people are currently reading
80 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
May 30, 2023
I appreciated the stories from this book. I've only heard of Valarie Kaur before (saw her being interviewed by Sharon Salzberg, I think) but would look into hearing more from the other women. I think this is useful for my work facilitating women's groups at Stanford's GSB. Powerful ways of being and thinking for women leaders.
“I am reminded of one of my teachers, Khenpo Choga Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist meditation master, who during a teaching pointed to his head and said, ‘This is shallow-thinking.’ He then pointed to his heart and said, ‘This is deep-thinking.’ I know that I get myself tripped up by mistaking my shallow-thinking for deep-thinking. When I recognize that I am doing this, my perspective changes. Shallow-thinking paints a picture where being empowered is static, fixed. I am either empowered or not empowered. There is nothing in between. It is dualistic, black and white. It discounts as irrelevant all the other colors and shades of life. Shallow-thinking perceives empowerment in a straight line with a definite direction, a set trajectory, and an end point. Shallow-thinking confines its perceivers to a harsh, rigid view of empowerment.
Deep-thinking, on the other hand, frees me to see that empowerment is dynamic and expansive. It expresses itself in ebbs and flows. It is the antithesis of linear and instead recognizes the value of processing seeming sidetracks. Deep-thinking sees that inherent in empowerment is gentleness and compassion toward oneself. Deep-thinking knows that being an empowered woman of spirit and faith is an ongoing practice outside of the realm of a definite end point. Empowerment is a practice, not a destination.” pg. 48 [Karen R. Boyett]
“What is the special contribution of women to leadership? What is the feminine approach to leadership?” pg. 50
“Circles
The moon is most happy
When it is full
And the sun always looks
Like a perfectly minted gold coin
That was just Polished
And placed in flight
By God’s playful Kiss.
And so many varieties of fruit
Hang plump and round
From branches that seem like a Sculptor’s hands.
I see the beautiful curve of a pregnant belly
Shaped by a soul within,
And the earth itself,
And the planets and the spheres.
I have gotten the hint:
There is something about circles
The Beloved likes.
Hafiz,
Within the Circle of a Perfect One
There is an Infinite Community
Of Light.
— Hafiz, Sufi Master” pg. 51
“Nothing before in my life has met that need to serve in me like holding space does . . . [It] has given me the means to fulfill a lifelong yearning to be of service . . . It is a privilege. — Lynda Terry” pg. 57
“Why should we even consider the subject of the Divine Feminine at all? In the light of scripture’s own images of God, in every religion everywhere, what kind of a life-denying, God-diminishing question is it to ask whether there is such a thing as a feminine dimension to God? On what grounds can we possibly deny the feminine face of God among us an equal place at every table: corporate boards, decision-making synods, ecclesiastical councils, Qur’anic academies, and shariah judgeships? How can women be denied the chance to be listened to, the right perhaps even to be heard, the fullness of moral agency and a public role to be reckoned with?” pg. [Joan Chittister]
“The social implications of ignoring or denying a topic such as this are enormous, life-changing, and spiritually stunting. By casting God in human form, in one human form only, we limit our knowledge of God. We ignore the feminine dimension of God in the world and God in women as well. We leave life to the warriors, rather than to wisdom figures. We make masculinity the divine norm, ignoring and devaluing the feminine part of ourselves, in both women and men. We enthrone maleness, masculinity, the macho. God the father, God the avenging judge, God the warrior, God the lawgiver, and God the perfectionist overwhelm the fullness of the image of God. We create a distant and unemotional God that comes with the image of an exclusively masculine God—all rational and all-powerful—that affect our lives at every stage and every moment. The model we have been given of the all-male God exercises power over everything, so we get confused trying to explain God’s failure to use his power to save us from dangers.” pg. 66-67 [Joan Chittister]
“This God is not only the Divine Masculine, medieval lord and master, father, warrior, and judge. This God is also the Divine Feminine—the one who feels, the one who cares as well as prescribes, the one who is nursing mother as well as protective father. The one who is also Divine and Feminine. This is the God who is completely other—and completely like us at the same time—in affection and care, in feeling and hope. This is the God who brings the world together—Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, Christian, and Muslim—listening, learning, loving the other. If God is all being, all there is, masculine and feminine, then Plato’s God of total power, total distance, total indifference, and total emotional detachment is deficient. A God like that lacks love, lacks the will to be cocreative in a cocreative world. A God like that lacks the compassion and the empathy it takes to love the imperfect perfectly well. That male God is the one we have fashioned at our peril. By ignoring the value of the feminine, we have made for ourselves a patriarchal God for a world in which feeling is the necessary glue that holds that world together. We have made for ourselves a God to keep everybody else under control.
It is in the name of the God made male that women have been suppressed and ignored and reviled, called lesser, called inferior, called irrational in every male-controlled religion. Why doesn’t God fix such an obvious injustice? Because God didn’t make the situation; humans did.” pg. 68 [Joan Chittister]
“What type of diversity is difficult for you to deal with? What are the blessings of diversity? What is it like to go outside of your comfort zone to develop new ways of building bridges?” pg. 75
“Secret Listeners
This works well for a retreat setting when a smaller group of women will be together for several days. Put slips of paper with the names of every woman in the group into a basket. At the opening session, each woman draws a name. This woman will be her secret listening partner. For the duration of the gathering, she will secretly listen especially deeply to this woman. At the closing session, time is set aside for each woman to reveal her secret listening partner and give a one-minute reflection about what she has heard and learned. (The editors thank Nontombi Naomi Tutu for this wonderful idea.)” pg. 117
“I had leapt into the whirlwind for justice because I wanted to challenge the script that divides the world into victim and oppressor, that said that the only way to win was to destroy the oppressor. But that script actually perpetuates cycles of violence. Perhaps true liberation requires not to slay the opponent but to hear the opponent’s story, to change the system so that the oppressor is released just as those of us behind bars are released. Those soldiers, those guards, that police officer who had hurt me, and those of us on the other side—we’re all trapped. A new time has come for us to find a way to transform the systems that cause us to dehumanize one another. That’s what I learned when I leapt into the whirlwind for justice.” pg. 133 [Valarie Kaur]
“Creation is change, and change is often painful and mysterious to us.” pg. 139
“I speak about how we swam in the small ocean of our mother’s womb as we formed into a human being. I encourage people to listen and remember the song Mother Earth sang to them as they grew in their own mother’s womb. Each of us has a song, a melody, a vibration. By remembering and experiencing this, it is a way to be renewed.” pg. 143 [Adelia Sandoval]
“The place I live and work is colorful, deep, soulful, creative, unique, emotional, and forever sacred. I never define my work as new age but as ancient. It is a solid base for activism, where radical paradigm shifts take place just as reasonably as tectonic plates move deep in the earth herself. This is not a fluffy feel-good place of a promise to heal all, but rather a doorway for the brave and committed who are ready to meet life on its terms: messy, uncertain, heartbreaking. Transformation is often undoing identities, letting go, and living larger lives. My work is a feeling place more than any words could convey. Much like waking from a dream whose wonders you cannot recount, much is lost in translation, so I do not attempt to explain it.” pg. 153 [ALisa Starkweather]
“The question before us is how do we stand for the greatness of one another? Let us look at our present values. What does the greatness of another woman mean to you? Do you size her up? Do you look at the way she speaks, where she was educated, how she dresses, where she works, who she knows, how much power she carries, or how much her prestige elevates or deflates you? Do you relate to her or envy her or even pity her? Are you quick to categorize her into a box? Does the complexion of her skin trick you into learned assumptions that have you believing you actually know anything about her life? Is she ‘other’ by judgments that separate you both? What do you do that diminishes her light or your own? I ask you this honestly because if we are collaborating by strategy and calculation to uplift ourselves, we are likely putting our support behind those who our culture has taught us are leaders while marginalizing many others, never noticing our own ingrained behaviors.” pg. 153-154 [ALisa Starkweather]
“How we hold our own greatness is the key. There in the marrow of your woman self, do you unequivocally believe in your self-worth, your own beauty and creative expression? Here in the place where thousands of years of misogyny have taken their toll in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, defining who you are, what do you do with all those measurements like material wealth, weight, definitions of beauty, professions, our children’s accomplishments, our sexual identities, our intellect? Where you go for your own greatness, where are you going? What part of your own self gets left behind?” pg. 154 [ALisa Starkweather]
“The mandala is the perfect art form to illustrate the idea that combining diverse parts can create a harmonious whole. The history of the mandala is multicultural and rich but as a simple definition, it is a symmetrical design radiating from a defined center. Mandala is Sanskrit for ‘circle’; circular designs are found in every culture and often used in a sacred setting. They represent wholeness, integration, and the cosmos and are used for healing, balance, and transformation.” pg. 172 [Charlotte Backman]
“As an artist who specializes in mandalas, I am aware of the numerous spiritual lessons of this art form, and there is one particularly demonstrated in the context of collaborative mandala-making. God/Spirit/Creator has provided us with the structure and materials (our bodies, our minds, the world around us), and we add in our unique thoughts and actions to become cocreatorrs with each other and with the Divine. Quite often, we have no idea what we are creating or how it fits into the larger picture, but the quality of our contribution, our expression, influences the whole. And the Divine is the mandala, perpetually radiating from its center into beautiful creation, in whom the Divine is well pleased.” pg. 173 [Charlotte Backman]
“Imagine a Woman I
Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.
Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.
Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.
Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.
Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.
Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.
Imagine a woman who honors the face of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.
Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.
Imagine yourself as this woman.
— Patricia Lynn Reilly” pg. 175-176
“A person is a person through other persons. . . I am human because I belong, I participate, I share. A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs to a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed, or treated as if they were less than who they are. — Bishop Desmond Tutu” pg. 208
“I use transition as a metaphor in all kinds of situations. Whenever I feel like giving up on something or when I feel stuck, I ask myself, Is this just a transition? Do I simply need to stick with it a little bit longer to get to the next point? These questions also work in group settings, when things seem to be at a standstill. I have learned that it isn’t possible to force transitions. They happen at their own pace. You may have heard the story of the little child who was watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon. It was struggling and struggling to get out. Finally the child couldn’t stand it anymore and carefully removed the cocoon. Unfortunately, when the butterfly tried to fly, it couldn’t and so died. The struggle to emerge is what strengthens the butterfly’s wings so they will be ready to support flying. How many times is that true for us in our own struggles?” pg. 228
Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.
“I am reminded of one of my teachers, Khenpo Choga Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist meditation master, who during a teaching pointed to his head and said, ‘This is shallow-thinking.’ He then pointed to his heart and said, ‘This is deep-thinking.’ I know that I get myself tripped up by mistaking my shallow-thinking for deep-thinking. When I recognize that I am doing this, my perspective changes. Shallow-thinking paints a picture where being empowered is static, fixed. I am either empowered or not empowered. There is nothing in between. It is dualistic, black and white. It discounts as irrelevant all the other colors and shades of life. Shallow-thinking perceives empowerment in a straight line with a definite direction, a set trajectory, and an end point. Shallow-thinking confines its perceivers to a harsh, rigid view of empowerment.
Deep-thinking, on the other hand, frees me to see that empowerment is dynamic and expansive. It expresses itself in ebbs and flows. It is the antithesis of linear and instead recognizes the value of processing seeming sidetracks. Deep-thinking sees that inherent in empowerment is gentleness and compassion toward oneself. Deep-thinking knows that being an empowered woman of spirit and faith is an ongoing practice outside of the realm of a definite end point. Empowerment is a practice, not a destination.” pg. 48 [Karen R. Boyett]
“What is the special contribution of women to leadership? What is the feminine approach to leadership?” pg. 50
“Circles
The moon is most happy
When it is full
And the sun always looks
Like a perfectly minted gold coin
That was just Polished
And placed in flight
By God’s playful Kiss.
And so many varieties of fruit
Hang plump and round
From branches that seem like a Sculptor’s hands.
I see the beautiful curve of a pregnant belly
Shaped by a soul within,
And the earth itself,
And the planets and the spheres.
I have gotten the hint:
There is something about circles
The Beloved likes.
Hafiz,
Within the Circle of a Perfect One
There is an Infinite Community
Of Light.
— Hafiz, Sufi Master” pg. 51
“Nothing before in my life has met that need to serve in me like holding space does . . . [It] has given me the means to fulfill a lifelong yearning to be of service . . . It is a privilege. — Lynda Terry” pg. 57
“Why should we even consider the subject of the Divine Feminine at all? In the light of scripture’s own images of God, in every religion everywhere, what kind of a life-denying, God-diminishing question is it to ask whether there is such a thing as a feminine dimension to God? On what grounds can we possibly deny the feminine face of God among us an equal place at every table: corporate boards, decision-making synods, ecclesiastical councils, Qur’anic academies, and shariah judgeships? How can women be denied the chance to be listened to, the right perhaps even to be heard, the fullness of moral agency and a public role to be reckoned with?” pg. [Joan Chittister]
“The social implications of ignoring or denying a topic such as this are enormous, life-changing, and spiritually stunting. By casting God in human form, in one human form only, we limit our knowledge of God. We ignore the feminine dimension of God in the world and God in women as well. We leave life to the warriors, rather than to wisdom figures. We make masculinity the divine norm, ignoring and devaluing the feminine part of ourselves, in both women and men. We enthrone maleness, masculinity, the macho. God the father, God the avenging judge, God the warrior, God the lawgiver, and God the perfectionist overwhelm the fullness of the image of God. We create a distant and unemotional God that comes with the image of an exclusively masculine God—all rational and all-powerful—that affect our lives at every stage and every moment. The model we have been given of the all-male God exercises power over everything, so we get confused trying to explain God’s failure to use his power to save us from dangers.” pg. 66-67 [Joan Chittister]
“This God is not only the Divine Masculine, medieval lord and master, father, warrior, and judge. This God is also the Divine Feminine—the one who feels, the one who cares as well as prescribes, the one who is nursing mother as well as protective father. The one who is also Divine and Feminine. This is the God who is completely other—and completely like us at the same time—in affection and care, in feeling and hope. This is the God who brings the world together—Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, Christian, and Muslim—listening, learning, loving the other. If God is all being, all there is, masculine and feminine, then Plato’s God of total power, total distance, total indifference, and total emotional detachment is deficient. A God like that lacks love, lacks the will to be cocreative in a cocreative world. A God like that lacks the compassion and the empathy it takes to love the imperfect perfectly well. That male God is the one we have fashioned at our peril. By ignoring the value of the feminine, we have made for ourselves a patriarchal God for a world in which feeling is the necessary glue that holds that world together. We have made for ourselves a God to keep everybody else under control.
It is in the name of the God made male that women have been suppressed and ignored and reviled, called lesser, called inferior, called irrational in every male-controlled religion. Why doesn’t God fix such an obvious injustice? Because God didn’t make the situation; humans did.” pg. 68 [Joan Chittister]
“What type of diversity is difficult for you to deal with? What are the blessings of diversity? What is it like to go outside of your comfort zone to develop new ways of building bridges?” pg. 75
“Secret Listeners
This works well for a retreat setting when a smaller group of women will be together for several days. Put slips of paper with the names of every woman in the group into a basket. At the opening session, each woman draws a name. This woman will be her secret listening partner. For the duration of the gathering, she will secretly listen especially deeply to this woman. At the closing session, time is set aside for each woman to reveal her secret listening partner and give a one-minute reflection about what she has heard and learned. (The editors thank Nontombi Naomi Tutu for this wonderful idea.)” pg. 117
“I had leapt into the whirlwind for justice because I wanted to challenge the script that divides the world into victim and oppressor, that said that the only way to win was to destroy the oppressor. But that script actually perpetuates cycles of violence. Perhaps true liberation requires not to slay the opponent but to hear the opponent’s story, to change the system so that the oppressor is released just as those of us behind bars are released. Those soldiers, those guards, that police officer who had hurt me, and those of us on the other side—we’re all trapped. A new time has come for us to find a way to transform the systems that cause us to dehumanize one another. That’s what I learned when I leapt into the whirlwind for justice.” pg. 133 [Valarie Kaur]
“Creation is change, and change is often painful and mysterious to us.” pg. 139
“I speak about how we swam in the small ocean of our mother’s womb as we formed into a human being. I encourage people to listen and remember the song Mother Earth sang to them as they grew in their own mother’s womb. Each of us has a song, a melody, a vibration. By remembering and experiencing this, it is a way to be renewed.” pg. 143 [Adelia Sandoval]
“The place I live and work is colorful, deep, soulful, creative, unique, emotional, and forever sacred. I never define my work as new age but as ancient. It is a solid base for activism, where radical paradigm shifts take place just as reasonably as tectonic plates move deep in the earth herself. This is not a fluffy feel-good place of a promise to heal all, but rather a doorway for the brave and committed who are ready to meet life on its terms: messy, uncertain, heartbreaking. Transformation is often undoing identities, letting go, and living larger lives. My work is a feeling place more than any words could convey. Much like waking from a dream whose wonders you cannot recount, much is lost in translation, so I do not attempt to explain it.” pg. 153 [ALisa Starkweather]
“The question before us is how do we stand for the greatness of one another? Let us look at our present values. What does the greatness of another woman mean to you? Do you size her up? Do you look at the way she speaks, where she was educated, how she dresses, where she works, who she knows, how much power she carries, or how much her prestige elevates or deflates you? Do you relate to her or envy her or even pity her? Are you quick to categorize her into a box? Does the complexion of her skin trick you into learned assumptions that have you believing you actually know anything about her life? Is she ‘other’ by judgments that separate you both? What do you do that diminishes her light or your own? I ask you this honestly because if we are collaborating by strategy and calculation to uplift ourselves, we are likely putting our support behind those who our culture has taught us are leaders while marginalizing many others, never noticing our own ingrained behaviors.” pg. 153-154 [ALisa Starkweather]
“How we hold our own greatness is the key. There in the marrow of your woman self, do you unequivocally believe in your self-worth, your own beauty and creative expression? Here in the place where thousands of years of misogyny have taken their toll in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, defining who you are, what do you do with all those measurements like material wealth, weight, definitions of beauty, professions, our children’s accomplishments, our sexual identities, our intellect? Where you go for your own greatness, where are you going? What part of your own self gets left behind?” pg. 154 [ALisa Starkweather]
“The mandala is the perfect art form to illustrate the idea that combining diverse parts can create a harmonious whole. The history of the mandala is multicultural and rich but as a simple definition, it is a symmetrical design radiating from a defined center. Mandala is Sanskrit for ‘circle’; circular designs are found in every culture and often used in a sacred setting. They represent wholeness, integration, and the cosmos and are used for healing, balance, and transformation.” pg. 172 [Charlotte Backman]
“As an artist who specializes in mandalas, I am aware of the numerous spiritual lessons of this art form, and there is one particularly demonstrated in the context of collaborative mandala-making. God/Spirit/Creator has provided us with the structure and materials (our bodies, our minds, the world around us), and we add in our unique thoughts and actions to become cocreatorrs with each other and with the Divine. Quite often, we have no idea what we are creating or how it fits into the larger picture, but the quality of our contribution, our expression, influences the whole. And the Divine is the mandala, perpetually radiating from its center into beautiful creation, in whom the Divine is well pleased.” pg. 173 [Charlotte Backman]
“Imagine a Woman I
Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.
Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.
Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.
Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.
Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.
Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.
Imagine a woman who honors the face of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.
Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.
Imagine yourself as this woman.
— Patricia Lynn Reilly” pg. 175-176
“A person is a person through other persons. . . I am human because I belong, I participate, I share. A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs to a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed, or treated as if they were less than who they are. — Bishop Desmond Tutu” pg. 208
“I use transition as a metaphor in all kinds of situations. Whenever I feel like giving up on something or when I feel stuck, I ask myself, Is this just a transition? Do I simply need to stick with it a little bit longer to get to the next point? These questions also work in group settings, when things seem to be at a standstill. I have learned that it isn’t possible to force transitions. They happen at their own pace. You may have heard the story of the little child who was watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon. It was struggling and struggling to get out. Finally the child couldn’t stand it anymore and carefully removed the cocoon. Unfortunately, when the butterfly tried to fly, it couldn’t and so died. The struggle to emerge is what strengthens the butterfly’s wings so they will be ready to support flying. How many times is that true for us in our own struggles?” pg. 228
Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 11, 2012
Great book on how women can transform the world through leadership. ALisa Starkweather's chapter was my favorite.
September 2, 2015
This book would be valuable for anyone trying to integrate spirituality - whatever their definition of that is - into their daily lives of leadership as a woman.
January 16, 2017
Reading this collection was like sitting in sacred circle with wise women.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews